TTC Video #6: Dealing with Negative/Unwanted Comments

[pandasbabydreams]

@dansgirl21 The human body is a mysterious thing. If you can, see a reproductive endocrinologist. There can be a lot going on hormonally. And I'm sorry you're dealing with people's negativity, they just don't understand. That's one of the hardest things about infertility.

[dansgirl21]

Hey first of all I want to say thank you for making these videos! I have been dealing with PCOS since I was 14 and I'm now 21. My fiance and I have been TTC for over 3 years and I absolutely hate when people tell me to just relax and stop "trying" and it will happen... um... it doesn't work that way people! I haven't had a period naturally since i was 14 and until i was 19 the doctors just kept telling me that my body needed time to regulate itself but i knew there was something wrong.

[TryingToConceiveBaby]

I hope you don't mind, but I liked your video so much I posted it to my page on facebook: trying-to-conceive-a-babycom

[TryingToConceiveBaby]

i'm gonna shoot the next mothertrucker that tells me not to worry about it!!!!

[TTCsince07]

Yes!!! Someone who knows what I am going through.. last week I was talking to my mom on the phone and she was saying know what maybe your to stressed or trying to hard you should go on a vacation and not worry about anything or my favorite is god will give you a baby when its his time. I believe got will provide but to me she is saying wait for the right time. Nobody understands what we go though I have been trying since 2007 and its 2011 now. It fustrates me

[MrSoulSamCooke]

I'm young still in school

My situation isn't about child birth,

This video was very enlighting though.

I'm always running into steriotypes and racial limitations I don't find them they find me

Basically well essensially I'm told,

"your black so that means your ghetto and you should act like it" I wasn't raised that way it's not my charactor and I always have to break it down and explain myself and it's frustrating

[NubianRockerChick]

Thank you so much because people are pissing me the hell off !!!

[LilBaybeeMinx]

The only people that know about my pcos is my partner, my parents, my sister-in-law and brother-in-law and my partners parents now know. and the only reason my partners parents wernt told until now is because their nefews wife has pcos and i have heard the comments and i dont want thoses things said to me or about me. the worse comment i heard from them was that their nefew was forced to marry someone that cant have children.

[pandasbabydreams]

@LilBaybeeMinx I'm sorry you had to go through that. I'm the same way, very little people in my life know about our fertility problems. Few family and friends. Dealing with negative comments makes me keep quiet sometimes.

[msgennyparker]

PREACH IT!!!!!! I hv heard em all too!!! (tears) I even had a coworker say that ppl with no children are selfish!!! This witch doesn't know my situation and to judge me was very hurtful. I even have older men asking me, "Do u even like kids?" I be like wow!!!! All the rude comments are from ignorance. I've tried since 19 and im 33 now. I even had an Aunt tell me im to old to try to hv kids. But GOD will be the one to decide that.

[pandasbabydreams]

@msgennyparker I know :( It's really hard to deal with people at times and whenever we try to explain things to them, they get mad at us.

[Launderlife]

Well said!

[tiamefon]

Trisha Girl u hit the nail on the head ... Thanks so much for being so open and honest... I feel the same way...

[KristanWedlock]

i COMPLETELY agree :)

[mgn0511]

I know how you feel. I think the thing that gets me the worst is when people say "oh it will happen when it's meant to happen". Uhg...... I hate hearing that, especially when you see all these teen moms or woman who seem like their children are a burden. As if they deserve children more than I do as if they were meant to have children when they did and not me.

[pandasbabydreams]

@mgn0511 It is really frustrating at times, I usually don't tell my friends too much because that's like the first thing they say to me too.

[renator88]

yeah I hear that all the time, from all the my family members who conceived on their 1st or 2nd month of TTC so they really dont get it.

[mulatasoy84]

I totally relate to you. I think that if someone really wants to comment on a persons fertilty, they need to do begin by doimg their researching.

Blessings and prayers.

[furrymuppet12345]

I feel rude when I don't answer, but I've decided from now on, I'm just going to say, it's personal, and I don't want to answer that question. I found out that it's better that other people think I am rude (although I am not) than to feel little for sharing personal things.

[furrymuppet12345]

I just stumbled across your vid. I searched "how to deal with negative comments." Not just with infertility but dealing with people first asking you, when you graduating, when you getting married, and when you having a baby? People don't cease to stop asking personal questions. I think so many people ask these questions when it's really none of anyone's business. Cont...

[captioningchik]

I don't really tell people what's going on with me. I have cousin who always asks when am I going to have another one because I'm getting old. I have a son that took me three years to conceive. I have cervical stenosis from a LEEP surgery that I had. I'm now dealing with the same thing trying to conceive number two. It's been a couple of years trying to conceive.

[J3llyb3An7]

I agree with xMrsloydx I refuse to talk about it with the exception of my husband & the ladies here on Yt. Y'all are such great listeners and understanding...

[pandasbabydreams]

@J3llyb3An7 I feel the same way! I love all of my fellow TTC'ers.

[jennbrassfield]

Especially the the ppl who say relax it will happen, they have no freakin idea what there talking about, you can't relax when you feel like your half a woman compared to everyone else! ttc cycles are the most stressful thing i have ever put myself through its such an emotional time for you! I wish you nothing but the best and dont give up no matter how discouraging you find it to be theres always hope for all us! :)

[sweetsexygal77]

it so crazy how people think its just cause we cant relax or whatever...ugh it just makes me mad. Thats why I like our little ttcer community...we all understand. :)

[Viciere]

lol i agree. thats the way i think of it when people give there two cents. vacation and relax are the number one comments i have gotten. this is a good video for people hurting and those that do not know what there words do to people thanks:-)

[xMrsloydx]

I very much dislike when people tell me not to worry about it or to not be stressed about it...its so annoying because its an emotional thing ttc. I felt like when people found out I have infertility issues they became experts on ttc...basically I just refuse to talk to anyone about it anymore! =/ Unless they are also going thro the same things

[sexybabibi]

@xMrsloydx I don't talk to anyone about it except my best friend, she is extremely sensitive, caring and non judgmental. I can't even talk to my own mother about my infertility because she can't keep secrets and has told people in my family even when I specifically asked her not to.

It upsets me when people say "just relax". No, relaxing didn't prevent 4 miscarriages, did it? Or "just adopt" - ok, give me the money and I will! It's not as simple as it was in the 70's :-(