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From: DanAndJenn
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  • great info. love your site

  • of course it is not cheating! I do it all the time! Except when you do with video

  • No I dont think its cheating I do it all the time and my partner doesnt mind

  • Its cheating!!! plain and simple: D

  • thumbs up if you liked this Online Sex Chat! Is It Cheating Or Not?

  • I wouldn't say it's cheating, but probably not a nice thing to be doing. When you're married, there are decent boundaries. Why would you marry someone if you're not going to love them? That doesn't make sense to me, you might as well just get a divorce if someone is going to cross the boundaries. The last time I checked, marriage was a commitment, someone you want to spend your life with and CARE about... not a game

  • Just found out my bf did this with some girl he knew that lived 300 miles away...it was a breach of trust and inherently wrong. Absolutely, it is cheating.

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  • ofcourse it is considered cheating.. why?? because if you are loyal to your wife, you would be satisfied to her and won't entertain any flirts somewherelse..

  • Cha, Yes ItS Cheatingg Annd My Bf Did That All The Time With Out Telling me...I Would Jus Find Out ..Like...Dirty Talk Online...And Dirty Ssites. I WouldFind Out I Found Out Sooo Many Times. More then 11 Times!

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  • Yes, it is deffinatley cheating, and yes both partners would be able to talk things through so they know what boundaries are ok to cross...

  • Yes it is cheating!!!

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  • This is messed up.. lol

  • YES, YES, YESSS...of course it is cheating. Emotional trust that is broken is one of the most devastating kind. That's why so often we hear the question after an affair, "Did you love her/him?"

  • I have to admit if that was me I would feel a bit guilty.

  • BAHAHAHA

    yeah, its cheating... because cheating means sharing your passion with someone else who isn't your partner (passion as in: not friendship, or family type, more like sexually or lovingly) .

    If you do ANYTHING with another person, and don't want to tell your partner, than that means you did something wrong and you know it.

  • its cheating for sure your still being involved with another woman or man and your parter does not know about and your not hiding.

  • I agree with you guys. Going behind each others back is just wrong.

  • WTF it is totally cheating

  • what if its another guy thats acting like a girl? what then huh? eh???

  • Still cheating, but a little more disturbing.

  • fucked up what it is lol

  • It's cheating. My friend is cheating on her hubby with a guy she met online.

  • absolutely, it's cheating. what, he couldn't be sexually fulfilled by his wife?

  • Before my husband and I were married he "met" another woman online and they had phone sex five times. It sure is cheating. I have never felt pain like that when he told me (I found out for myself as the other woman contacted me). It almost ended out relationship and we were engaged at that point. Whether online or phone is actual cheating is beside the point. It's a betrayal of trust.

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  • I really appreciate your perspective, my girlfriend and I have a very similar set of rules. I think it all comes down to communication and ground rules. If one is allowed porn and certain kinds of play with others that's ok. Cheating is covert and deceptive, and intended to be private. However, I've heard of case of friends who have had phone sex with others or carried on 'relationships' (non sexual) via world of warcraft and their partner accused them of cheating, I'm not sure that is at all.

  • If my boyfriend/husband cheated on me, disregarding the situation, why do I have to think about his feelings when my heart was just broke? So I have to be nice and not to attack him and think about his feelings, when he obviously didn't think of mine. Men don't live in a bubble and are not vulnerable, they can handle the truth without women always having to glitter up the truth so it would seem more acceptable.

  • ok yeh its cheatin in the sens that u have lost trust and if thares no trust thares nothing any more am 14

  • Yup. You're being unfaithful emotionally and becoming sexually aroused and more than likely reaching orgasm with another. Even if it's only online.

  • yeah it's cheating. this happened to my friend.

    it's still a form of 'dirty' interraction with someone else. similar to phone sex. if it's not cheating then what is it?

  • YES it is...like you said if you are sneaking behind your spouses back then obviously you are doing something that will hurt them emotionally.I really wish guys would get their act together & realize that even though they cant touch these women these are real women they r looking at. We are the most vunerable when we are naked with our lover they (men) cheapen it when they look and fantasize of other naked woman in porn mags and videos.

  • happened to me! :( i believe it is !! we still dating each other!

  • i luv jens hair!!!!!!! shes so pretty! =)

  • Yes Their Real Women. Their Not Monsters From Outerspace. -.-"" They Have Feelings. But... I think Its Cheating...

  • i dont think it is cheating. if you arent doing anything physically to hurt your partners feelings on purpose, it sure as hell isnt cheating.

  • A general rule of thumb I go by is: if you would do the exact same thing if your partner were to be watching, it's not cheating.

  • I think its cheating!

    If you have a partner and it would be good, why should he/she go into online chatrooms and chat with other men/women??

    I would be angry if would found out that may girl woulr do thinks like that!

  • Education. Seriously. It's a non-contact way to learn about what turns other people on. It's better than porn because there are real women who can give real feedback (well, ok maybe 80% of them are fake) but the feedback and the knowledge gained translates into new and exciting things in the bedroom. Our culture has a hard-on for monogamy so how is anyone going to learn? Now if he's meeting them in hotels... that's different, but talk is knowledge. Think of it as education.

  • hmm... I think you r not at all right...

  • Girls in chat rooms are fake of course its not cheating.. -wife staredown- .. of course its cheating theres real women connected to those chatrooms

  • has the woman thought of the fact that he could be emailing other women that are accually homosexual or gay guys posing? you cant call it cheating unless he and or you have met the person before.. cause for all he knows.. it could be a guy =)

  • A lots of couples become zoophile because they dont swing. So I consider, its better swingin than to become a zoophile.

  • I would say its cheating in the form of making emotional bonds with other females behind your wife/girlfriend back in a sense that goes beyond friendship. But its not really cheathing when its just typing words? Ohyeah and I think its ok for guys to watch porn after said wife/girlfriend goes to sleep. Guys need to ejaculate or else we start going around killing people :P

  • I did some research and found out that changing partners is a part of human nature. Of course one might have many partners through a life but the human male is designed to have several partners through life. Making marriage kind of un-natural sort of speak. I do not in any way support cheating im simply pointing out the fact that cheating occurs because its a part of our nature. That being one of the reasons.

  • well i think that cheating is normal b/c everyone does it.. know more kids at 13, 14, 15

    start doing it too.. b/c they see that everywere!!

  • You're disgusting! =(

  • No that's because they're young and immature, and the relationships they develop at that age are more like learning experiences, but thanks for your ignorant statement.

    Also, the definition of cheating they use is absurd. If a man goes golfing with his buddies but tells his wife he is going to home depot instead is that cheating? She doesn't want him golfing, and he has to lie about it ...so that must be cheating according to your logic. :)

  • first thing is out of order it can be women of all ages and can be quite serious about it especially specific chat sites

    but i agree with the definition of cheating , some guys jsut like to get away perhaps even to save a relationship, then get accused of cheating its absurd!

  • It all depends on whats in the emails and chats, if its just talk then no its not cheating, but if it gets alittle towards a sexual converstaion then yes it is cheating.

  • i dont care what a girl i am dating thinks if my schlong didn't go in any other girls oraphace (pussy ass or throat) i didnt cheat and if she dont like me jackin it she can fuck off cuz no 1 girl can fuck, suck, or give as much relief as i need.

  • For an "evolved human" you have quite animalistic needs. :/

  • Having a wank is NOT cheating ok?

  • My girlfriend and I have a similar philosophy to them:

    It's not cheating if we talk to each other about it. Just recently, she had cybersex with some guy from Australia. She told me she was doing it, I didn't care, so she did it. No cheating.

    Relationships are easy, you just gotta talk to each other.

  • He has outsourced his emotional and sexual needs, which his woman now feels threatens by. It means that he can get lazy and not work at their problems because he has somewhere to go and also his relationship with his wife cannot go to the next level because there are too many minds in the equation. To have a great relationship means growth and going to higher levels together. If she is not involved then there will be imbalance in the relationship.

  • Online sex is cheating just like phone sex would be cheating because you are giving yourself emotionally and sexually to another person which you are only supposed to be giving to that one person.

  • what are you going to do stick your fucking dick and say bend over bitch ?

  • Most people are childish. To take a life isn't necessarily to murder, to be involved sexually with someone other than your primary partner isn't necessarily cheating. HOWEVER, any and all activities which violate trust, are by definition "cheating" - at least if that word is to have any meaning. Deception is poisonous to all friendships, including romantic ones. Even if the offender is never caught, it taints everything.

  • It would b the same if u were meeting someone in your town (or whatever) for drinks, it would still b considered time u spent with someone else u could be spending with your spouse. And I constitute the fact of spending time with someone that you might be growing feelings for as cheating.

  • no way hose, its cheating in my book.

    P.s. what is that blue drink?

  • I think it is totally cheating, the only person you should talk to in a sexual way is your partner, correct me if i'm wrong, but shouldn't you only talk kinky and sexually with the person you love? People online are still people, it's not like their fake, so I think it is totally cheating. Plus, their married, if it was a little relationship that they've been in for like a month I could see somthing stupid like this comming from the male, but it's marriage, I think it's wrong!

  • I would consider it cheating.

  • Get a different song, this belongs to HotForWords

  • hell yeah it is well i think it is i think to think of other person in the same way has your partner its cheating but like u said u guys need to sit down and say what u think is cheating and if one of u do and the other does not well to that person u did so there for u did cheat

  • Well half the time it is probably a guy pretending to be a woman... Who knows what these people are actually like anyone can say anything online and pretend to be what they are not.

  • totally cheating, i no a girl whos boyfriend keeps doing it to her (goin on cam with other girls etc) and it really upsets her but she doesnt wana lose him

    rediculous

    !

  • no i do not think it is cheating. cheating, to me, is if you fool around, whether it's kissing, having sex, whatever...with an actualy person. just talking on the phone, or iming online is just like fantasy...is having a fantasy cheating? well if it i'm sure almost everone on the planet is cheating on their partners because i'm sure everyone has a fantasy of somesort!

  • WHAT THE FUCK IS IN THOSE GLASSES???

    They have them in EVERY episode, i bet its carbonated and bubblegum flavored and just chalk-FULL of seditives...

  • It is cheating. I found out my husband of 6 months was chatting with girls online and I left his ass.

  • so u should have! id do the same! better off without that bastard

  • Wasnt you happy? How come you didint knew that? Then why do you marry him in the frist place? The things arent that easy. If he was bad person the well why would you love him ? If it was mistake you should be so fast to make yourself a hero ;)

  • I am not a hero but I am not a fool either. I have an aunt that was married for 25 years. Her husband cheated on her and he brought home AIDS. I can't be with anyone that can't be faithful to me. If he is online doing it then there is a crack in our relationship that super glue can't fix and he will do it offline as well. I should not have to fight for love that he said was mine. My heart matters.

  • Im sorry you just sounded so self confident. ^.^ I gues you are prity wise. Just your first post was bit rude too. Well i never speak as for what i think from personal expirience or what i'm. I'm always trying to see other side, gues cos in real life im bit hot tempered. And would done what you have done. Gues you cant tell much about people just from writing, how ever it is posible to feel soul ;) No offend. :)

  • Totally agree.

  • Absolutely agree with the video...

  • If whatever you are doing violates agreements you have made with your mate, then it is cheating. Simple, easy.

  • is this so poss to be hotforworlds lol or about sexs lol

  • IT IS CHEATING! Chating is a grey zone, but using a web cam and to get naked and do God knows what in front of another person (it matters not if its through a web cam) is DEFINATIVELY CHEATING! It's the same as if it where together with only glass between them, They can't touch but they can see and hear each other. Only that they're miles away. But it's no question, IT'S CHEATING!

  • YES IT IS CHEATING!!!! my exhusband cheated on me online. he still regularly masterbates to young UNDERAGE girls online still today! He also had some of these girls call the house on the telephone and had phone sex with them when I was still with him! Needless to say I left his ass cause of it and an addiction to perscription pills that he refesused to get help with.

  • anything that my husband does behind my back is cheating.  Especially if he knows that it's I'm not ok with it. And I already have rule NO SECRETS between a couple. Secrets = distance. It might be hard to get the other party to understand certain things tha you want to keep secret about but always be open about it and they WILL accept it if they love you enough. <- my 2 cents worth.

  • what a bitch!

  • Understanding and forgiving doesnt alway come with beeing together. Sometimes To forgive and leave is another truth ;) thats not mine words ;) its from bible or smth ;)

  • If you're married, it's for better or worse. Isn't that in the vow you take when you get married? I'm no preacher but it's a deep personal belief that divorce is not God's will but Man's.

    Which part of the bible says to leave your husband if he cheats?

  • reply to- TeleuteEirene: If you had a spouse who beat you everytime they seen you, would you divorce him? or say I forgive you hunny, right before they decked you again? My parents are preacher's BTW, and they never condemned anyone for their lifestyles. A person only has one true judge (in my eyes anyways).

  • I believe that we're on the topic of cheating. But to answer your question, I'll say that abuse is of course not tolerated. It's against the very basic laws. I'm sorry if I sound condemning, I assure you that I condemn no one. I'm just stating what I think/ feel is right.

  • Well there is no part in bible that tells to leave someone who cheats, it teaches forgivness..(well or they just throw stones in to the woman,well dont know about man ^^) How ever i was teached that forgivness is'nt always forgive and stay, its also forgive and leave. And that was teached by priests oficialy.:) and i think its right. I think what ever i do is as long right as i do and can bare consiquences from it.^^ isnt it fair enought?:)

  • Well, let's just agree to disagree then, shall we? And be grateful that God knows our hearts.

  • But if you're talking about a relationship (other than a married one) then yes. I would suggest for a person to seriously reconsider their relationship if there are aspects or habits of their partner that they find themselves unable to accept even through love, understanding and etc. You have to think if you love that person enough to accept the person with all their flaws.

  • If you think you can't (after being totally and brutally honest with yourself) then I suggest that serious consideration should be made.

    Please also note that Man will err. It might not be cheating but it could be in other ways. You just have to accept that and move on. Afterall, 2 wrongs don't make a right.

  • Is it cheating ? its not polike to answer question with question but.. Is is it jealous?

  • If it is cheating, what does it matter if she is jealous?

  • You didnt think clearly what you are writing. With that what you said is sounds like if he cheating then does it matter if jealouse. like idscrimnating her ^.^

  • How ever jealouse comes first. Its not like his doing anything bad, its not like she doing anything to prevent it. He doesnt even know she dont like it. What more sometimes jealouse has big eyes. And trying to stop your husband from any Friend that is female might truly end uo cheating. So first think "in't if somthing not alright with me" And talk to hasband rather to blaming someone, just becouse he doesnt do anything and likes chating or making new friends?

  • If it come to sex chat.. I see only one advise. Chat with your husband. Why does sex chat sound so bad for you. Yeah its realy bad. Its wrong. And we are so full o justice. But then 3 some, anal sex, masturbation ir so O.K. ;) There is no one truth, But there are two people who love and have tongues and talk ;) if they wise enough,

  • Depends of a woman type if that hurts her she should talk with her lover. Its not like is it wrong or right its how does two people feel about it. If you feel bad.. then well you have the answer ;) If a man cant quit then well i gues thats cheating ^.^

  • of course its cheating! if he was jus chatin with a girl as friends and the girl was chatin with you then it nothin but doin it behind ur ladys back and tell that online person stuff that you sapose 2 only say 2 your girlfriend then its cheatin!! OK 2 all you people that sex chat online with strangers, if u got a girlfirend/boyfriend/husband/w­ife ask yourself this questions: would you let ur partner sex chat online with strangers? and do you really wanna lose the one that you love? no right.....

  • I have seen marriges disolve because a friend of mine got cought sexy talking with a stranger. they got married last year and now they are divorced because her online friends kept inducing her for sex chat and for video chat doing thing you might imagine. Her fall was the picture my friend found on her digital cam with name tags on them. They`re my friends.. but I she did screwed up doing that while he was away to Iraq.

  • i have been dumped because i was watching porn behind my ex, she discovered that because she looked at the histery when i fell asleep.. i forgot to delete the history ¬_¬ either way.. now that i look back to it, I do accept I was cheating on her, no phisicaly but mentaly. I did have a beautiful woman by myside and instead.. to me went out with a prostitute, finish what I was going to do and come back like nothing happened.

  • They have NOTHING against porn? And YES it's cheating. Get your wives off the Internet, it is distorting their minds.

  • If I were chatting with a certain X-girlfriend, I know that sex-talk or weather-talk, my sweetie would consider it cheating.

    And she'd be right.

    Sexy chat with strangers? I think she'd be cool with that, but I'd want to talk it over if I developed any "regulars."

  • So, in your opinion, "whacking off" to porn in front of your wife is perfectly normal? How about masturbation being a little time with yourself? You know, making love to yourself? I just thought that saying that masturbating in private is cheating was going a bit far. It's some kind of hypocrisy, don't you think?

  • Yeah, I disagree with them on that statement. How ridiculous is that. even the watching porn bit.

  • We didn't say that masturbating in 'private' is cheating. What we're saying is that hiding the fact that your masturbate in private from your partner is cheating.

    Our whole take on cheating is being dishonest and doing things that you wouldn't want your partner to find out about. We're not saying that you always have to masturbate with your partner in the room - but does your partner even know that you masturbate in private? ;-)

  • Thanks for replying!

    I understand the point that you are trying to make (make the rules clear), but I know for a fact that a lot of guys would be really ashamed if they were caught masturbating and I know a lot of girls would get flustered if they found out. Does it mean it's cheating?

    Yes my wife knows I masturbate (a lot) and we still have a wonderful sexual life, but I sure wouldn't want her to "catch me", if you will, since it's a private moment.

  • I definitely think online relationships are considered cheating in a way. Nothing physical might be done, but you are cheating on your partner emotionally, which can be equally as painful as physical cheating. You're betraying them and the trust that a couple has could easily be broken up like that. It's wrong and I really don't think people should do it and feel that it's ok.

  • At first I was like wtf!? But after watching to the end, I can see what the message is. When watching you two, I have to seperate the opinions you two have from the actual message.

    You two clearly have set bounderies that many of us have or don't have. What I liked most was the sitting down and discussing our feelings part!

    Good work you two! Keep it up!

  • i clasifie it not as cheating...... but as the number eleven

  • this is the first show of yours i've watched. i love you guys. thanks for answering these question that lots of couples have.

  • 90% of women online are men Don't take your chances :D

  • With the technology available today - it's just better to be honest and face it up front!!!

  • love that definition of cheating, thanks for the show !

  • i think its cheating! i dont want my man talkin to some girl online and gettin atached to her

  • Yes, I think it is cheating, especially because it's online. There is no physical relationship there, instead it is all emotional.

  • I'm torn on this one but my definition of cheating is the same as yours... so yes, in this scenario, it was cheating.

  • in my opinion, it is considered cheating and the "emotional cheating" is more painful for the other spouse.two people who have an emotional, spiritual and mental connection is to me the most admirable marriage AND if you emotionlly cheat, you have broke the most intense, trustable connection with your spouse. I can go on and on about it but that is my basic point and opinion. thanks for doing such a great show all the time and the wonderful info you put out to the world. keep up the awesome job

  • totally agree. i think he should let his wife in on it. its stupid to keep it hidden. any relationship is about trust. and thats all that is there to it. you screw around with that, that becomes cheating. first make it things clear and open and keep it that way. like having chat sex should be cool. even his wife could if its her sorta thing and that must be mutual . if shes got a prob and he cares for her. he shouldnt do it.

  • Oh, but I don't think it's considered cheating when someone is watching porn and their partner doesn't know about it. I don't like to watch porn in front of anyone, even my partner because I like my privacy and he usually doesn't watch it in front of me because I think it's disrespectful. Also, because he is into weird stuff like peeing. The only time we watch it together is if we both agree on one together. I don't think watching porn is cheating at all.

  • I agree. I think it all has to do with the intention. I know some women that are so controlling and jealous that they think hugging is cheating even if it's just with a friend. I just think that's pathetic. =)

  • It is absolutely cheating. I honestly don't think a guy or a woman really believes cyber sex is not cheating, they just say that to cover up for the fact that they did it. But I agree it is important for couples to talk about their definitions of cheating.

  • i love the picture with the computer mice! i thought that was a nice touch lol

  • Interesting...It looks like you guys have been extreamly inspired from that 1990s MTV show called "Love Line" with Dr. Drew and Adam Carolla. If not, you should defintly check it out sometime.

  • depends on your intention, whether you would really do that to those women in real life or not.

    another thing it depends on is what you said, if he was trying to hide it from her it IS cheating.

    but using that logic, is jerking off behind your wife's back considered cheating? lol

  • yeah. It's cheating if the person is attempting to procure (whatever) from someone else besides their mate.

  • of course its cheating. actually, to me, i care more about someone winning my wife's heart than someone nailing her only physically (which is still horrilbe)

  • Well, actually it did happen to me. I was checking some stuff online, and i found all this pictures of my boyfriend's girl friends in his e-mail and some videos and even pictures of his stuff. So i was very mad at him and i comfronted him about it. He was obviously ashamed, but he thought the same thing. "Oh, i didnt know that was cheating" and i talked to him about it and proposed of i were the one to do it, wouldnt he feel bad or jealous? ... (to be continued)

  • (continued)...And he was very sad about what he did, so i told him what he was looking for in another woman and that if he wanted, we didnt have to be together. And since that day on we've been very communicative about things, and like u guys say it, u have to give him confidence to tell u thigns... ;) But i do think that THAT is cheating... Great video!

  • If you do something that you know might hurt your partner's feelings, you should try to avoid doing it. As simple as that.

  • Still using the HotforWords music but it fits.

  • lol, it would seem great minds think alike. :-)

  • To your credit I prefer watching your vids over hotforwords ;)

  • yeah it is because it breaks the trust in their relationship. you think??

  • call me old fashioned but i wouldn't tolerate it. when im with somebody im with them mentally physically reality AND VIRTUALLY

  • Your comment didn't deserve a thumbs down.

    Dan and Jenn, what happened to your live videos?

    And yes, I believe it's cheating.

  • Hi Lavinder,

    Thanks for asking. Honestly we stopped the doing Live Show (previously on uStream and LiveVideo) for a while until YouTube launches their own Live Video... the prep time was huge and it didn't pass the 80/20 rule on those other sites.

    But as soon as YouTube launches Live Video, we're back with a regular live show in addition to our regular videos. Can't wait. :-) -- D&J

  • i appreciate ur reply, thanks

  • Good answer

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