@SwaffyX I have a relationship with an imaginary friend called Yeshua!. (There is no 'J' in Hebrew) He's the best imaginary friend I have! You used the word "relationship" wrong, because we Christians are NEVER wrong; the Sun revolves around the Earth! The Earth is the Centre of the Universe And our God is a God of LOVE! Deuteronomy: The Israelites, with God's help, kill all the men, women, and children of every city. 3:3-6. And Family Values in Ruth: Boaz 'purchases' Ruth to be his wife. 4:10
Love your advice! What you are talking about is called codependency and enmeshment. It is definitely not healthy. Unfortunately a lot of women feel that this is the right way to act in a relationship, to lose yourself, to become one etc. They view it as selfish if you look out for what makes you happy first.
That aside, I have sort of the opposite problem. I can't really change myself... or I guess the word would be "sacrifice" anything in order to help the relationship develop.
I so agree Jess, I lost myself in the us it was like we weren't two seperate people anymore and I wasn't truly happy or looking out for myself anymore
there's so much truth in what you say in this video. I still feel like I don't know myself well enough, let alone what I'm like in a relationship. So yeah, it's not weird, it's down-to-earth true! Thanks for that!
there's so much truth in what you say in this video. I still feel like I don't know myself well enough, let alone what I'm like in a relationship. So yeah, it's not weird, it's down-to-earth true! Thanks for that!
Great advice...it is so hard to maintain a sense of self when going for "full integration"...hehehe (a term my partner/wife and I use) Her and I both love being fully into the other but we maintain our sense of self semi-successfully. Happy Holidays to you and Mary.
Have a good Christmas! I wish you and Mary B the best!
I think in your next video you and Mary B should tell about what you two did and what you both got for Christmas. What you liked most, that sort of thing (:
Cant wait for next weeks video, you do amazing! (:
today youre different. you sound like youre talking to a therapist. today more than ever. like youre chewing on something (not literally.) hope all is/goes well. we luh yoo. happy holidays, g!
Jess, could you make a video about how to get rid of your ex's? Cuz I'm havin trouble with one of my ex's and I'm tired of her drama. What should I do?
@HerEmoAngel17 That's a tough one. You should try having a sit-down conversation with her and let her know that you need space before you try a friendship. If she doesn't respect your decision then you have to decide if she's worth having in your life at all. Always convey exactly how you feel and make sure that you're living up to that. If you need space, take space. If you need communication, communicate more... You have more control than you think.
That is important - sadly, I learned that lesson the hard way :( Especially when you put so much of yourself into a relationship and then it ends - you become really, really lost. To be fair, relationships do totally change parts of you (either for good or for bad) but when you lose yourself... well, that's just not healthy :)
I do exactly what you do with the jumping into a relationship and submerging myself in it and then I end up drowning myself. I am doing the exact same as you and trying to correct that in my current relationship. I understand how hard it is. Hope it works out for you. :) x
how did you pull that focus away from your relationship?
because i was loosing myself too in my past relationships. now, i'm totally myself and that's what everyone around me says too.
but i still think that my relationship is a biiig big part of my life. and i'm not sure if it's still in a normal ways. or if it's too important. you know what i mean?
@joyapenny I really just started to invest time in things that had nothing to do with Mary. It's hard because it may feel like you're ignoring the person, but really you have to look at it from the perspective of: I'm doing this for me so that I can be better for us. Start small - make a new friend, take yourself to lunch, buy a new book and go to the park with a friend... It may sound minute, but it makes a huge difference.
Happy holidays to everyone esp. you and Maryb!!! Don't lose the 'you'... You make the happiness in yourself and in a relationship! Question. Who does the cleaning? Your house seems very spotless! Lol. Also what are your pet peeves of the holiday season and in household chores!
Great insight as usual, Jess. I definitely relate to what you said. Becoming really invested in the relationship and thus losing your own self in the process without really realizing it or wanting to acknowledge it... yep! And the thing about hindsight... SO true. How you said that you realize that how it ended up was "inevitable"... mhm. Thanks! :)
great video. i wish i would have seen this a month ago, would have saved myself from a shitty break-up and lots of feelings. but i don't regret it, because i learned to stay true to myself in future relationships, and some other valuable lessons too.
So so true. I think so many people lose themselves in their relationships - I know I have and you really do lose yourself and forget who you are. I think its probably one of the hardest things to learn when you're in a relationship or about to get into one - you can be somebody's partner and lover but at the end of the day, you're still you and if you can't be you with yourself, you cant really be you with anybody else.
Hope finals went well! I have yet to enter a relationship but I've worried that if I was I might fall too fast. Great video and I'm going to keep this advise saved in the back of my mind for future endeavors.
agree, being happy as a couple and being happy with yourself shouldn't be mutually exclusive...it's dangerous to lose yourself and in my experience can end up in resentment towards the other person..not good
I am so appreciative that i came across these vids cuz you are so real with your info and your perspective. you honestly have given me some really good food for thought on almost every vid of yours specifically that i have viewed. for this particular vid, i can so relate to your experiences with past relationships when it comes to jumping into a relationship and then not being able to really find yourself within it anymore. thank you so much for your openess! you are doing an amazing job :]
She's beautiful xo Great advice
theredandbluealbums 1 month ago
I have the same poing chair!
so does thousands of other people, but i dont care!
(-:
Roxay05 1 month ago
Wow. You have the prettiest colour eyes I have ever seen.. O.O
TheTeapotte 8 months ago
You're so... open, sincere... honest... its amazing to see someone be so real in a monologue like this.
Dirtydirtyfag 10 months ago
I have a relationship with Jesus Christ. He's my best friend.
You, who created this video, used the word "relationship" wrong.
SwaffyX 10 months ago
@SwaffyX I have a relationship with an imaginary friend called Yeshua!. (There is no 'J' in Hebrew) He's the best imaginary friend I have! You used the word "relationship" wrong, because we Christians are NEVER wrong; the Sun revolves around the Earth! The Earth is the Centre of the Universe And our God is a God of LOVE! Deuteronomy: The Israelites, with God's help, kill all the men, women, and children of every city. 3:3-6. And Family Values in Ruth: Boaz 'purchases' Ruth to be his wife. 4:10
jharker37 8 months ago
thankyou Jess for the reminder.. I was about to lose my head.. and myself with it for a girl.. you just made my crazy/intense moment fly away.
p.s.
youre so freakin cute
robymtzny 1 year ago
Love your advice! What you are talking about is called codependency and enmeshment. It is definitely not healthy. Unfortunately a lot of women feel that this is the right way to act in a relationship, to lose yourself, to become one etc. They view it as selfish if you look out for what makes you happy first.
starlasaz 1 year ago
I like your eyebrows.
That aside, I have sort of the opposite problem. I can't really change myself... or I guess the word would be "sacrifice" anything in order to help the relationship develop.
lindseyclark08 1 year ago
I so agree Jess, I lost myself in the us it was like we weren't two seperate people anymore and I wasn't truly happy or looking out for myself anymore
IndiaJ92 1 year ago
Great advice Jess! You are the best!!
Radiostar2323 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
there's so much truth in what you say in this video. I still feel like I don't know myself well enough, let alone what I'm like in a relationship. So yeah, it's not weird, it's down-to-earth true! Thanks for that!
pinkismafav 1 year ago
there's so much truth in what you say in this video. I still feel like I don't know myself well enough, let alone what I'm like in a relationship. So yeah, it's not weird, it's down-to-earth true! Thanks for that!
pinkismafav 1 year ago
I love you and Mary. You are my role models.
momoney131 1 year ago
Hope you and Mary enjoy the holidays!
allyjoYAknow 1 year ago 2
I think all relationships take hard work. I think you and Mary are so good together and so cute. Thanks for sharing yourself with us.
Nanee715 1 year ago
Great advice...it is so hard to maintain a sense of self when going for "full integration"...hehehe (a term my partner/wife and I use) Her and I both love being fully into the other but we maintain our sense of self semi-successfully. Happy Holidays to you and Mary.
PaintedRavensong 1 year ago
cuute as always :)
ieatcookiesforliving 1 year ago
wow. someone actually -disliked- this?! llllaaaammmmeeee.
TattooedVogue 1 year ago
Have a good Christmas! I wish you and Mary B the best!
I think in your next video you and Mary B should tell about what you two did and what you both got for Christmas. What you liked most, that sort of thing (:
Cant wait for next weeks video, you do amazing! (:
kickassninja383 1 year ago
Jess what size are you gauges ? I love them
EllenDegeneres100 1 year ago
today youre different. you sound like youre talking to a therapist. today more than ever. like youre chewing on something (not literally.) hope all is/goes well. we luh yoo. happy holidays, g!
acousticgrlstl 1 year ago
So much easier to be single :)
paul20072007 1 year ago
THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH!
I can relate to everything that you just said... GREAT advice! (:
mijababygurl4 1 year ago 2
Jess, could you make a video about how to get rid of your ex's? Cuz I'm havin trouble with one of my ex's and I'm tired of her drama. What should I do?
HerEmoAngel17 1 year ago
@HerEmoAngel17 That's a tough one. You should try having a sit-down conversation with her and let her know that you need space before you try a friendship. If she doesn't respect your decision then you have to decide if she's worth having in your life at all. Always convey exactly how you feel and make sure that you're living up to that. If you need space, take space. If you need communication, communicate more... You have more control than you think.
cautiousplay 1 year ago
I feel ya, Jess. I'm working on the same thing.
OhhhYESgurl 1 year ago
See that, Jess?
42+ people (including myself)
LOVE your face :D
MazzamRulz 1 year ago 3
you didnt do last weeks :(
stinkah93 1 year ago
Thanks for the video ! I love that hat where did you get it!?
mongoosemonk 1 year ago
Are you still going to do a video on last week's topic? I was looking forward to it, it'd be cool to hear your thoughts on that too.
buygreenbananas 1 year ago
@buygreenbananas Thanks for reminding me - I wasn't aware that the topic was so popular. I will make that video and get it up here soon.
cautiousplay 1 year ago
@cautiousplay Thanks! It's something I totally need more advice on.
buygreenbananas 1 year ago
That is important - sadly, I learned that lesson the hard way :( Especially when you put so much of yourself into a relationship and then it ends - you become really, really lost. To be fair, relationships do totally change parts of you (either for good or for bad) but when you lose yourself... well, that's just not healthy :)
AkimotoMichiyo 1 year ago 3
I hadn't noticed til now that you remind me of Rachael Leigh Cook.. Lol
Nephilim08 1 year ago
healthy and important lesson - thanks
yogangel7 1 year ago
idk how one person gets so cute
quesati 1 year ago
I do exactly what you do with the jumping into a relationship and submerging myself in it and then I end up drowning myself. I am doing the exact same as you and trying to correct that in my current relationship. I understand how hard it is. Hope it works out for you. :) x
aphrosie66 1 year ago
Your honesty is absolutely beautiful.
herecomesthsun 1 year ago 2
i like that video!
how did you pull that focus away from your relationship?
because i was loosing myself too in my past relationships. now, i'm totally myself and that's what everyone around me says too.
but i still think that my relationship is a biiig big part of my life. and i'm not sure if it's still in a normal ways. or if it's too important. you know what i mean?
joyapenny 1 year ago
@joyapenny I really just started to invest time in things that had nothing to do with Mary. It's hard because it may feel like you're ignoring the person, but really you have to look at it from the perspective of: I'm doing this for me so that I can be better for us. Start small - make a new friend, take yourself to lunch, buy a new book and go to the park with a friend... It may sound minute, but it makes a huge difference.
cautiousplay 1 year ago
@cautiousplay
thanks alot for helping me out and answering me!
i think this will help.
joyapenny 1 year ago
Good advice. Happy Holidays!x
ssikmoi88 1 year ago
Happy holidays to everyone esp. you and Maryb!!! Don't lose the 'you'... You make the happiness in yourself and in a relationship! Question. Who does the cleaning? Your house seems very spotless! Lol. Also what are your pet peeves of the holiday season and in household chores!
Diggz0 1 year ago
Great insight as usual, Jess. I definitely relate to what you said. Becoming really invested in the relationship and thus losing your own self in the process without really realizing it or wanting to acknowledge it... yep! And the thing about hindsight... SO true. How you said that you realize that how it ended up was "inevitable"... mhm. Thanks! :)
java2guava 1 year ago
Why is there a bike laying sideways in your room?
SweetSodaChick 1 year ago 2
@SweetSodaChick It's two bikes mounted on the wall, one above the other. You can only see one tire of each.
cutewitch772 1 year ago
@SweetSodaChick it's on the wall and takes up less space that way
yogangel7 1 year ago
that was a helpful video thank you
softballluver90 1 year ago
I like your beanie. (:
mandastarship 1 year ago 46
great video. i wish i would have seen this a month ago, would have saved myself from a shitty break-up and lots of feelings. but i don't regret it, because i learned to stay true to myself in future relationships, and some other valuable lessons too.
ooblaee 1 year ago 2
So so true. I think so many people lose themselves in their relationships - I know I have and you really do lose yourself and forget who you are. I think its probably one of the hardest things to learn when you're in a relationship or about to get into one - you can be somebody's partner and lover but at the end of the day, you're still you and if you can't be you with yourself, you cant really be you with anybody else.
acornsrus 1 year ago 8
@acornsrus wise words! thank you.
SchrodingersPet 1 year ago
i feel the same way :(
forwardrecall 1 year ago
Hope finals went well! I have yet to enter a relationship but I've worried that if I was I might fall too fast. Great video and I'm going to keep this advise saved in the back of my mind for future endeavors.
Justmesodeal 1 year ago
So relationships are not two people coming together to become one? They aren't supposed to change you? I've got a lot to rethink right now.
FEARtheDREDGE 1 year ago
agree, being happy as a couple and being happy with yourself shouldn't be mutually exclusive...it's dangerous to lose yourself and in my experience can end up in resentment towards the other person..not good
cherylmadison101 1 year ago
man i love your face.
simplayaj 1 year ago 103
@simplayaj Uh, that's a sweet comment :)
cautiousplay 1 year ago
Comment removed
simplayaj 1 year ago
@cautiousplay :D I feel accomplished
simplayaj 1 year ago
I am so appreciative that i came across these vids cuz you are so real with your info and your perspective. you honestly have given me some really good food for thought on almost every vid of yours specifically that i have viewed. for this particular vid, i can so relate to your experiences with past relationships when it comes to jumping into a relationship and then not being able to really find yourself within it anymore. thank you so much for your openess! you are doing an amazing job :]
HelloSexKitten 1 year ago
first
Ega121212 1 year ago