Added: 1 year ago
From: davidmitchellsoapbox
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  • Gawd the adverts on these are insufferable.

  • I love being able to say "nah I'll pay for it, don't worry" to my friends and acquaintances. Even though it is a tricky situation, given that some people feel they're placed in debt and other people (maybe involuntarily) start to take it for granted that you'll buy them everything, I still want to be the guy who my friends know they can depend on if their wallets, and stomachs, are empty.

  • But what about the interest David. Won't someone please think of the interest.

  • As an accountant, I fully agree with this message.

  • Just want to take a quick poll

    If you liked David message then thumbs up if not then thumbs down

    (if more people like it then the rest of humanity will abide by this rule for all time=) 

  • This one of those rare occasions when I disagree 100% with David Mitchell

    His problem is'n't relly with ballenvcing the books, his problem is with informallity, and I love informallity so no David, you wrong on this one

  • @cornishphilosopher The problem with that is that for all you know you have friends who secretly seeth with rage that you're so casual about it. Maybe you have a reputation for letting people pay for things on your behalf and you never thought twice because you assumed they were as casual about it as you are. Or maybe you have a reputation for always paying as though they can't afford to or something, and make them feel small. Formality clarifies.

  • i feel rather bad as i was thinking to myself that my friend owes me £2 and that i should ask for it when i next see them meaning i am closer to the friednship ruining side i dont even remember what the money waas for only that he owes me £2 and i will eventually get it back. but i think the rule is that less than a pound you dont need to give it back or when someone offers to pay and that for borrowed money over a pound should be rounded to pounds as they are good coins.

  • Absolutely, 100% agree with this rant....

  • Screw it, I need to ask

    Any otaku here?

  • It's ok that he's reading it because he is giving it to us for free and he writes one every week. Stop whining, children.

  • 'Oh he's reading it'. So what!?

    Caesar probably wrote his speeches down too. It's great that humanity has a means of commitning words to paper, otherwise a vast amout of our collective knowledge would have been lost to the sands of time.

    Writing things down is natural. Reading things out is not only natural, it's also nescessary. Otherwise all those things we just wrote down would be useless!

  • Perhaps getting over it and acting like a normal human being might make everybody happy.

  • Yeah, his reading from the prompter is kind of distracting.

  • haha anyone else noticed his eyes reading?

  • i dont have OCD, ive checked 3 or 4 hundred times

  • Comment removed

  • all great apart from the stupid ad

  • i've been using this system since I was 11 years old. it cost me some friendships but I it also gave me a reputation for being tight-fisted and neurotic.. so great...

  • David Mitchell is a magnificent bastard,

  • There has never been a soap box I have so deeply agreed with.

  • Very funny and true too. I agree- this should be the new convention!

  • This is probably the only Soapbox I don't agree with. But we should think of that as a good thing, as David Mitchell has managed to make about thirty others that I absolutely agree with, which is no easy feat.

  • The problem with this is dealing with people you don't like in front of people you do like. You don't want to be overly nice to people you don't like and you don't want to seem as having a double standard in the eyes of those you do like. I prefer the current system where you're nice to people you like and there's no pressure no be overly nice to those you don't in your circle.

  • wow he's funnnnnnnnny

  • 1000th like

  • while i am guessing there was humour there somewhere i must have missed it having watched this clip 3 times

  • @michelle1750 Thanks for that, I can sleep easy now

  • Bulldogs are often gross. Why would I want their product.

  • also the only reason there is debt is coz of interest, banks borrow money charge interest, if everyone pays everything back where the interest money going to come from? that's why they have to constantly create more debt so it's more likely everyone pays everything off. It's like a game of musical chairs, everyone is a winner as long the music is playing. Such are the rules of usery

  • ArE yOu SuRe YoU DoNT HaVe aN OcDs' DaViD??

  • @arseniyonline1234555 I'm not David Mitchell, but please stop writing like that. It's difficult to read, and really quite irritating.

  • @slightlyinsaneFTW google definition of sarcasm and humor and how the two can be used together =-)

  • Why do the creators of adverts before comedy programmes feel a need to use a stupid voice to voice-over the advert?

  • nevermind money, if I lend someone a pen and dont get it back I freak. or the other way round. I will look after that persons pen until I see them again so I can give it back. If someone asked me: do I have a spare pen I dont mind giving away, that would be fine, I wouldnt worry about getting it back. I'm probably crazy, I know =(

  • This one is definitely my favorite.

  • "I'm not crazy, my mother had me tested."

  • @MrApolloTom Sheldon Cooper, is that you? ^_^

  • The Starfish Soapbox

  • bulldog ads are fucking annoying

  • @phodd AHHHHHHH!!! Make it go away!

  • @phodd

    I couldn't see it at first. Now I can't stop,

  • So what if he's reading it? He probably wrote it. Its funny. Whats the problem?

  • @anatoriac He writes them, and then they get edited as to what the sneering but inarticulate public want to have expressed for them.

  • @anatoriac It does sort of kill the mood, which they could've solved by re-taking the shot. (Or even just not zooming in.)

    Some things are improvised, some things are written. Both is fine, but when you can tell it's a sign of bad editing.

  • @phodd I'll never ever look at his face the same way again. thanks.

  • Im like this. I cant let ppl buy me drinks or give me things. I hate the feeling I owe things

  • The starfish in his face is rather distracting, but the odd tooth in the middle of his lower jaw catches my eyes more often.

  • I burn!!! I have no friends!

  • This. Is. Me.

    I do that all the time!

  • I JUST LOST THE GAME

  • this video is 4 custard creams long exactly.

  • @SmartStr33t That depends entirely on how fast you eat.

  • I used to think people were being very generous when we arrived at the pub and they said, "what are you having?". However I have noticed that the vast majority then expect you to buy them one back later in the evening. It is awkward if you are only drinking one or two pints and they have both been bought for you.

  • what about if you ask someone to "lend" you money you have no intention of ever paying them back, is that immoral? most people know this don't they? I know I have lost any money anyone bowwows of me and would consider it rude to ask them for it back.

  • just keep a physical tab yourself and just pay people back directly or subtly, whichever suits. :)

  • So, you can actually bottle angst then?

  • Whilst watching the whole first and second season of this series, I've decided that I will never buy anything made by Bulldog. The way they say "Boots" in this episode makes me think that if I'm ever in my "local Boots" ever again, I will feel compelled to kick the Bulldog product shelf over and stamp on it.

  • @bluekinglion Objectivity can be achieved with effort.

  • If I've got it you are welcome to it and I genuinely don't care who owes what (and usually can't remember) as long as I am not made to do maths! Maths ruins the evening for me. You should be tortured out of your up-tight penny-pinching 'I don't want to be beholden to you' condition by regular exposure to very generous people... then you will have to be nicer to everyone because you can't be sure if you owe them dinner or not! :)

  • David, please can you give me twenty pounds?

  • i have the piggybank he's sitting on :)

    (an actual one like that, not the animation of it)

  • QUIT BEING INTERESTING, I'M TRYING TO GO OUTSIDE!  XD

    I know that feeling, though.

  • *wonders if David needs pot to be mellow*

    *remembers that being annoyed about trivial things is why we watch this show (and its funny)

    *stops wondering*

  • Genius.

  • Although it was fairly obvious when I watched these videos that David Mitchell was reading from an autocue, it didn't make me laugh any less when I watched them. Though I must admit I did find myself trying to spot this starfish shape that you all seem to be yapping about lol.

  • Sh*t, you just reminded me of money I'm owed... now its all i can think about.

  • I've had a free taxi ride with someone too, but I did offer to contribute and they refused. Plus they were a stranger, so hey, cheers to them, I wasn't going to worry about it.

  • I have this exact problem, but only in one direction. My friends must, at this point, owe my hundreds (if not thousands) of dollars worth of soda, beer, cigarettes, food, gas, property damage, and borrowed money. Honestly, I couldn't care less about all that. However, if I borrow a quarter from one of them, I need to pay for something of theirs the next time I see them, or it gnaws at my brain like a thousand angry termites.

  • @RincewindsHat66 I am the same. Completely the same. To my friends I'd happily give out small sums of money like it's water. But I (attempt to) flately refuse any money in return, and if that fails, I repay it asap (to the penny!).

  • fuck these bulldog adverts

  • I totally agree, keeping track of my debt and credit with friends is a constant worry!

  • or why not just share the expense

  • I wish I had found this channel a lot sooner! I feel like David Mitchell can say exactly how I feel on almost any situation, without a single stutter or pause. Makes me proud to be British! intellectual domination FTW!

  • You could see he was reading from an auto cue at the end there.

  • I was happily watching this til i scrolled down and saw the comments. Now i'm staring at his starfish shaped face and eyes as he reads the damn words out. What is the world coming to when comedians can't even memorise a script i ask you? One he apparently wrote? My opinion of David Mitchell just flopped dramatically. Now i must go and watch some Stephen Fry to feel that all is right in the world. Tallyho!

  • @stews001 Seen your comment and I kept watching the eyes, he kept looking slightly to the left. My opinion has just dropped greatly too...

  • @stews001 Wow...of all the reasons to dislike a comedian, this might be the worst. Congratulations!

  • @PianoMan1532 I said i disliked him because he couldn't memorise and perform an 'act' he wrote? I think thats very good basis to dislike a comedian. It's his job to sell himself to me the viewer and by reading auto cue and not actually being funny; well he's not doing his job very well. But thank you, i do pride myself on my ability to judge whether someone is funny or not, it's wonderful to be congratulated on it.

  • @stews001 I don't understand how his routine is any less funny from reading a prompter though. Is this like finding out Santa Claus isn't real or something? You still get presents regardless (and he's still funny regardless).

  • @PianoMan1532 I no longer seem to find him funny unless its on panel quiz shows. During stand up comedy, he'd flounder.

  • @stews001 Hmmmm, so you are quite happy for Stephen Fry to read off cards in QI and find that funny, with the stuff he has researched, but you don't like David Mitchell preparing a rant and reading it out with the aid of an autocue. Try reading his observer articels, I find them hilarious. Btw not hating on Stephen Fry, he is one of my man crushes :) peace

  • @leprechaunspurs I LOVE Stephen Fry. He gets away with that; purely cause he's stephen fry and he doesn't LOOK like he's reading autocue, i just found it detracted from the 'comedy' in this video. Like i said above, i like david mitchell on panel shows when he's ranting, that i find hilarious; but when he hasn't got comedians around him to bounce off of i don't find it funny.

  • @stews001 I agree that there's nothing wrong with reading off an Autocue, but in this case it's got nothing to do with whether it's Stephen Fry or David Mitchell reading it. In this video the prompter (which is stuck on the front of the camera) is too close to him, making his eyes twitch noticeably from side to side. If it was further away, the left-right eye movements would be much more slight, and unnoticeable.

  • @stews001 @RealRobTaylor OK GUYS! You can back off now, i tweeted David and he admitted he used auto cue sometimes.

    RealDMitchell David Mitchell

    @Sheri_Stewart Sorry about that! And you're right, I do use an autocue sometimes, although I've usually written what I'm reading out.

  • @stews001 there is around 40 or 50 "soap box" episodes. Why learn them all and spend endless hours of out takes and a waste of time and frankly effort when he can read what he has written. I take it when you were in school or at some point in your life you have had to write something about your life and read it out. Did you learn that? i'm gonna guess not.

    My point is the the monologue is still his art, his thoughts. Appreciate the context.

    This is all i will say on this matter.

  • @stews001 if you watch any hollywood movie during a closeup of an actor doing some emotional line to another actor, look at their eyes. they always go from side to side, as if theyre alternately looking at the other actors left eye, then right, then left again. are they taught this in acting 101? could be what dave is doing here. toodle-pip!

  • just buy him a pint when you get where your going xD

  • That bulldog adverts voice over IS FUCKING ANNOYING

  • That bulldog adverts voice over IS FUCKING ANNOYING

  • UK Prime Minister David Cameron’s forebears have a long history in financial racketeering. His great-great grandfather, Emile Levita, a German, was related to the German- Goldsmid banking family, and obtained British citizenship in 1871. He was the director of the Chartered Bank of India, Australia and China. - PLEASE Watch these videos - Lyndon LaRouche explains start of WW III . or - The Obama Deception. here on youtube. Google - Abolish Federal Reserve Petition. and sign it

  • I still haven't had that fiver back off him though

  • David, is it evil / morally corrupt to charge interest then"? Or to extend credit when one knows that the repayments can never be made?

  • Try hard nerdery. Do one.

  • I avoid personal debt by advertising ;)

  • DAVID MITCHELL, SHUT THE F**K UP. Who gives a sh*t. Go and comb your middle class Marks and Spencer fringe.....or something.

  • @laccom1234 if you don't like, don't watch...simples

  • I can't help but watch his eyes follow the Teleprompter. It's really distracting.

  • @Cruciatum Cannot be unseen

  • @Cruciatum Cannot be unseen

  • Number 4 looks like a shite film

  • I find myself distracted by the fact he's obviously reading what he's saying and also that, for some reason, his cheekbones, nose and the corners of his mouth make a starfish shape that, once see, cannot be unseen.

  • @phodd Haha, you're so right about the starfish!! :)

  • @phodd Thanks for ruining the vid for me, i spent the first 30 seconds staring at his face looking for a starfish and then once i found it, i tried to get rid of the starfish image on his face by blinking fast and staring straight into his eyes but deep down inside me i just wanted to stare at the starfish. FUCK.

  • @phodd what on earth made your brain put those things together?!?! now you've got my brain doing it!!

  • @XxHaveHopexX same here!

  • @phodd Damn you. If you'd said nothing I'd have never noticed.

  • @blackroseprojectskt we need to get everyone to dislike his comment as it has ruined the soapbox for me as well

  • @phodd Damn you, you made me look for it.

    Plus yes, he's reading it, it makes it easier than trying to remember it all and reproduce it at high speed in one take.

  • @phodd You're the equivalent of the man who stands up in the cinema at the start and shouts out the ending.

  • @Wickerbasket I beg to differ; By reading the comments before or during the video, you're the equivalent of a man who goes to see a film after reading all the spoilers online and then being disappointed that you know that Bruce Willis is dead the whole time. Although when you think about it, Die Hard makes a lot more sense when you know that.

  • @phodd i cant believe you brought this to my attention... i cant shake it now hahaha

  • @phodd You have ruined these for me.

    Twice.

    I forgot about the first time.

  • @phodd dam it its like seeing charlie sheens coke nose again XD

  • @phodd damn you, damn you to hell

  • @phodd Damn you!!! I'll never be able to watch him again!

  • @phodd Noooooooooo!!!!!!!!

  • Comment removed

  • @phodd Of course! He's Starro!

  • @phodd thanks! Now all I can do is stare at said starfish

  • @phodd how can he read something and look straight at the camera at the same time?

  • @chailizard It's called a teleprompter, maybe youve heard of it. If you pay close attention, you can see that not only do his eyes flicker a bit from side to side, but also that he is actually not looking *straight* at the camera lense, but very slightly below it.

  • @phodd I can't even focus on what he's saying now... All I'm thinking is "Starfish, starfish, starfish"

  • Comment removed

  • @phodd You bastard. Look what you've done!

  • @phodd now i've noticed too!! ahhhh

  • @phodd Damn all the people who liked this comment!

  • @phodd I've been staring at his face looking, and I can't find it.

  • @phodd A starfish shape?... You mean a star....

  • @ExtraLuke I'm fairly certain that there's no implication that his face looks like a large sphere of super hot hydrogen gas. His head isn't that big at all. I think 'starfish shape' is a much better description because, it does in fact look like a starfish.

    Also damn your eyes @phodd, you have ruined David Mitchell's face for me. Instead of humourous rants, all I can think of now is that character from Spongebob fucking Squarepants.

  • @phodd Damn you! Now I can't stop seeing it!

  • @phodd well obviously he's reading it... only a total cock would be willing to learn it by heart if there was another posiibility :D...

  • 2 adverts to watch before it starts. Not worth watching these types of videos.

  • wow, you could really see him reading there

  • Pull back a little bit david and you can see what a wonderful analogy you made of how your beloved state treats every one us on a daily basis.....boring little man

  • sorry to point this out but i've just noticed his lower middle tooth.. it's sticks up quite a bit more than the other teeth and is quite distracting as soon as you've noticed it.

  • I have the itching feeling this wasn't really a rant, and more like sarcasm of an alternative method. OCD my ass!

  • I love it. I fucking love it. It is great. This man should be our ruler.

  • @the2crowrox No he shouldn't you unfunny faggot! Don't get me wrong I like David, he can be occasionally funny but this is not funny!

  • @chaos4445 its all down to preference man, i personally dont find this funny at all but i understand why people find this funny, its all your opinion dont get worked up about it

  • Actually, it's a nice thing to do. The person paying should be aware that they may not ever get that money back, and therefore should only do that for small amounts of money (£3, not £20). People should have a general idea of how they even out with their friends - if one side always pays or if sometimes one pays and sometimes the other does. £3 don't really matter. They're just ways to distribute wealth and they're small units for that, so that courtesy is nice. It should stop at £15-20 though.

  • At risk of being that guy, the tacit understanding is that it will all even out in the end. The balance of change doesn't matter as long as one doesn't always end up being on one end or the other of the transaction. David Mitchell's "at risk for OCD" rant is funny, but shit, it's only money and you can't take it with you.

  • @foxholeathiest You can take money with you. I did it this morning.

  • u would think he'd learned how to indiscriminatingly read a teleprompter by now. i can't concentrate on what he's saying because his eyes are moving so much.

  • I think that's just a lighting thing. It has to be very bright to be even enough for the CSO effect to work.

  • Ive done that annoying thing where you notice something then cant stop looking at it. His ears have....quite a bit of blank skin.

  • DM for PM

  • You don't get far in a taxi for £6.50

  • @Experiment47 Depends where you live.

  • who at bulldogs marketing department thought ooh i know who we should sponsor someone who has never used our product or really ever will

  • He could easily be the voice in the Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy:L

  • David mitchell for PRIMINISTER

  • i only find him funny when his with webb

  • @sirbestnameever Don't say things like that, hon. The more rabid of Mitchell's fans have been known to hunt down naysayers for organ-harvesting purposes.

  • These new youtube features ( I assume they're new) are AMAZING! A list of everything I've ever liked!? HOLY SHIT! A complete list of everything in this series at the bottom of the screen!? WOW!!!

  • This is just brilliant.

  • @KittenButter

    yeah but canada don't have any funny comedians either

  • @JoshMufc101

    Just 2 things.

    1) I don't think the intention was that Britain doesn't have any funny comedians. Rather, I think the intention was to say that David Mitchell embodies the stereotypical British man.

    2) Do you really think Canada hasn't produced a single funny comedian? Actually, I wonder if you even know any Canadian comedians. That's not meant to be rude, just that, for example, I don't know any Belgian comedians, but I suspect there are at least a few pretty good ones...

  • the abnormally loud intro to this one made me shit myself

  • Yes, by god I hate people doing things even I don't want to and then later expects to be repaid.

    Not just in money but favors etc.

  • hate this too, except its less guilt and more, too selfish to ever return the favour combined with too shy to mention that I'm too selfish resulting in angry people expecting to get money or favours in general.

  • love peep show

  • Comment removed

  • @trigga1uk I will not tip anyone who has not philated me.

  • It's neater that way. It's better. How can't they see that?

  • 10 people dont like laughing

  • @KittenButter then ,my apologies...and you have wonderful taste