Sh*t "Christians" Say

[ws1090]

hahaha this is funny. I'm a liberal and a christian, so this doesn't remotely describe me.. but after going to a christian university this made me almost pee myself laughing. haha i love my friends, even ultra conservative ones, but OMG this is SO true.

[xxxrocker3]

rick santorum= dumbass

[woahhitsbriana]

I'm a christian, and I am for Obama, I'm not a big Tebow fan, I LOVE Ellen Degeneres, and I watch Glee. Not all of us are conservative twats, like the rest of the world thinks. 

[beigekitten89]

not accurate....but itwas kinda funny ...:) nice job...you actually did caught me at chik-fil-a :P loli love it there

[TheLalaGOD]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.....



[bl3ssthefall590]

So fucking true man.

[NatheHatake]

omg 'have you read the shack?' lmfao

[LoveGamerGirl96]

Usually videos like this are pretty accurate, but this one was completely off the mark. Don't get me wrong, it was still funny, but these kind of things are what give us bad names.

[xlilpoodlexjerix]

hahahahaha this is hilarious, and im a chritsian :3 i usually only say that people shouldnt be judgemental, but thats about it haha

[FeelTheBeatBand]

christian lol but no

[lissilalou]

'i'll pray for you' sooooo true

[rico0laura]

Athiest, and this is hilarious.

[DiamondDollJayden]

TRUTH!

[cfcaitlin15]

No one says this haha

[Youknowzit87]

That's stupid I'm Christian and this is so retarded

[RaigeCO]

PAHAHAHA Yes :)

[iloveu1517]

All I can correlate to real Christians was "I'll pray for you" and "have a blessed day" everything else I've never heard before in my life....and I've been a christian.

[THEillusionOFitALL]

"Dear Miley Cyrus, NO." .. LOL!!

[THESpazzyBEE]

I'm a Christian, and I loved this! Haha, 'twas brilliant :P

Amen!

[13Segruts]

I am a non-offended Christian. Thanks for this video, but everyone knows Justin Bieber can't be a christian because his music is suicide inducing, and God doesn't like suicide.

[145kitkat]

This is offensive! I get it should be funny but one joke went a little too far :(

[OffKilterTV]

@145kitkat Which joke was that? You're not a Chick-fil-A employee are you?

[insanechock100]

@145kitkat you think thats offensive yet you would giggle your tits off at a muslim one.

[TheSOurSweetGOne]

lol "OMG it was soo gross i had to read my bible!" haha tht dude is the funniest!!

[EBBLstudios]

Im an athiest, part satanist, lol so funnyXD

[LifeSizeRebus]

I am a christian, but I still found this hilarious.

By getting all offended, you prove everyone right

Lighten up and take a joke.

[allforgod95]

@LifeSizeRebus lmbo im christian too and it was funny

[Luaxen]

Christians only follow half of what the bible says.. they pick and choose everything and then go against it most of the time. Biggest. Hypocritical. Religion. Ever.

[omgshift111]

@Luaxen Let's be honest, everyone is a hypocrite. To complain about others being hypocritical is worse than ironic, it's boring.

[Luaxen]

@omgshift111 Irony has nothing to do with it. Christians flaunt everything they do and fuss at people if they do anything against their god... (Mainly hardcore baptist christians) I'm not hypocritical. Yes, everyone has been before, and yes I have been before.. but I don't follow a religion based off of it.

[omgshift111]

@Luaxen I would think that we all have ideals that we fall short of - we are in a constant state of being hypocritical, but that's ok cause it helps us to be better people... Right? I don't quite get what you mean when you say that Christianity is based off hypocrisy, can you please explain? Yes, people don't follow everything in the Bible, but it is a contextual book, to take it all literally/without context would be unbiblical.

[omgshift111]

@Luaxen (sorry if my post is a bit confusing, it's 3.30am here x)

[NyxRedvines]

@Luaxen That's the point of Christianity, to help sinners.

[Luaxen]

@NyxRedvines To each their own I guess.

[P0cketGay]

Omg so true!!! Reminds me of my days at youth group!

[heartgirl40]

"Dear Miley Cyrus... NO!" LOL

[89dontwatchdat]

another video of gay people doing shit christians say

[karenkel]

Lol totally sounds like things my cousins and I say all the time BUT we say it to each other not to others.

Oh and ppl don't call what we believe in "lies", these are our beliefs and if it was imposed on u by others (I'm sorry) but there's no need to offend the rest of us. Get over it and move on.

[nuke74d1]

@karenkel Why did you watch it then? It was a joke, get a life.

[speider]

@karenkel Beliefs can still be lies. Beliefs aren't under a special protection just because they are yours. If someone has a belief that they can't leave the house on sundays, because that would make a demon possess them, that would still be untrue. No matter how "personal" that particular belief was.

Many people believe in the miracles of the bible, but still can't explain why they don't expect any of those miracles to happen today. When unjustified, i don't respect people's wrong beliefs.

[russochristine1]

Its not easy to be a Christian but its worth it!

[Ernesto87]

@russochristine1

Thats true

[denzodiamond]

the part about jesus not drinking wine, he gave it to his disciples in remembrance of him

[Andizzle101]

ELLEN IS AWESOME!!! lol "You wanna go to Chic-fi-la"

[TubeBoober]

Funny... I've heard a lotta this type of psycho-babble being spewed at me and other non-christians, lol! U guys hit the nail on the head! Hilarious...

U gotta make a part2!

[venus12704]

too funny :)

[kikyo4815]

I'm not Christian, but I'd take a swing set over a party any day.

[slicedintwo]

how come in every shit *insert whatever* say someone feels the need to cross dress >.>

[tevs1489]

dear miley cyrus,

no.

[dxarmourlove]

"Christians" have been saying I had demons inside of me since I was ten years old. That includes members of my family. Then they kick me out of their lives for refusing to believe their lies about me. Yeah... Christians are totally winning the fight. X_X

[BedazzledElephants]

haha oh gosh, I totally say alot of this XDDD

Save for chick filla, I've only been there once

[qijino1236]

Jesus turned water into wine, but he didn't drink the wine.

[JesusIsLord019]

Oh my Lord. I have said a lot of this stuff. Hahaha! My two favorite lines are "You just took the Lord's name in vain????" and "God's blessed me!"

[TempestCerulean]

LOL "swinger party".

[buddyboy122122]

i've literally never said any of these things...except "wanna go to Chick-fila". Who doesn't say that?

[BeckerNicholas]

HAHAHHAHAH! Watched everyone of your videos and all I have to say is keep em Coming!

[zaccurrier]

@BeckerNicholas thx bro! we shall. stay posted.

[BeckerNicholas]

@zaccurrier will do man!

[onlyxash]

oh my gosh oh my gosh im literally dying

[CrystalFlames]

You know, at first I was annoyed because the video implies that a lot of these things are annoying/bad to say. Then I thought, wow, maybe I need to sound more like this. So in your attempt to poke fun at our "word vomit phrases," you've actually encouraged us.

[CrystalFlames]

@CrystalFlames Caveat: Ellen Degeneres is almost always funny.

[nuke74d1]

@CrystalFlames No she isn't.

[rntoro1]

I SO TOTALLY SOUND LIKE THAT.

hahahahah

im not kidding

[bestdamnthingunvrhad]

i laugh my ass off every time i watch this thing

best part... im at a bible school and when i show people this vid their response without fail is.. "i don't sound like that...(*they pause and stare at the screen and then the vid says something and their mouths drop)... oh wait.. sometimes i say that..."

[jmelynn11]

AHHH!!! I am super strong in my faith but this was absolutely HILARIOUS!!! Couldn't have done a better job myself! HAHAHA! You wanna go to ChicFila?

[TheMegaMasterChief]

I'm a Christian and I almost fell out of my chair because I was laughing so hard at this.

[SteinlageT]

Haha, as some of the comments state below, I am a believer, and found this to be hilarious. If you can't laugh at yourselves sometimes, then you definitely have a problem. "Did you Tevo Tebow?" haha, love it!

[jennicase]

This really blessed me

[innagoddadavidababy]

LOL at the Ellen Degeneres comment!! She'd totally love it!

[pineapplegongzhu]

I'm a Christian, and I thought you guys were hilarious! :)

[narniangirly]

I'm a Christian, and I laughed SO hard at this. (I don't say a lot of those things, I DO say I'm blessed, it helps me have a more positive day.) :P 

[MsWooWoo11]

I moved from London to Arkansas... I'm now surrounded by such people.

[Buck2120]

@MsWooWoo11 Oh wow that's like the worst move ever. Why in the hell would you go to Arkansas?

[cheddarrr13]

the ending was the best hahaha "I believe you have a demon inside of you"

[proLIFEsoSUCKit]

I'm a Christian, but I think this is freakin hilarious. Thank you for the laughs!! :-D

[AisforMelinat]

Hey. Didn't you guys go to APU?

Rock on, btw. ;)

[NyxRedvines]

LOL i once wondered if Obama was the anti-christ

[nuke74d1]

@NyxRedvines Thast's just makes you a moron.

[flufluTV]

YO I MADE ONE ABOUT PERSECUTION!! DEF CHEK IT OUT AND COMMENT! GOD BLESS

[allcedars]

I don't know any Christians who talk like this. And I'm from the Bible Belt.

[zaccurrier]

You guys are amazing. Thank you for your comments. Keep sharing!

-PS- We are Christians too.

Rom. 1:16

[Buck2120]

@zaccurrier You should be ashamed of your scripture. That just proves to me you haven't read the Bible.

[weechristine]

oh my gosh, you guys are hilarious. "I believe you have a demon inside of you." Hahahahahahaha. For the record, if I knew any Christians like the ones in your video I'd be afraid. (actually, now that you mention it...)

[moosehasbigrack1]

hahahahaha i'm a christian and this straight up made me laugh my ass off.

[soccermaster25]

dude SO TRUE WOW

[SwampDipper]

this is my the my generation of christianity. it sucks. modernized by the media. ima christian, and i have balls so ima go listen to some SLAYER

[rprz04]

wanna go to chick fil a? haha



[UnSaxon51]

My favorite was Corey's line about Glee. *winkwinknudgenudge*

[lizlovebug23]

I'm a Christian and this is hilarious!! "this is so much better than that party" epic!

[APUltimate]

Haha I'm a christian, AND THIS VIDEO WAS AWESOME lol. God has a sense if humor too

[boyinbrooklyn]

I LOVE it!

[emoemu4]

I'm crying. This is so good.

[Lysten2100]

I'm a student at a liberal arts college, but if for some reason I begin to miss my crazy hometown in the Bible Belt, all I'll have to do is listen to this video, and I'll feel right at home!

[estepnwulf]

@iolanthela, I was expounding upon the sentiment in the clip: "it doesn't matter, we'll all be gone anyway." (Is the sarcasm that hard to read?)

[iolanthela]

Spent many years in this milieu. Glad to be out of it.  This isn't satire, it's an extremely accurate documentary! ;->

(I still love Jesus, but nowadays, I'm a lot more interested in his message of Transformation than the stuff about Salvation. Today's Christians need to close Leviticus and open their Bibles to Matthew 5 ... and just keep reading for awhile. They'll find that Jesus is NOT pastor's little Money Machine.)

[juliodulio]

your nt yoru

[juliodulio]

wow yoru play with serious thing to them much

[cedward93]

as a christian, I reserve the right to call someone a heathen XD

[ZimBilson]

It didn't really get me until the very end. "This is so much better than that party!" Then I died.

[grangechef92]

I've been a Christian all my life... and damn, they've nailed us...

[emoemu4]

@grangechef92 What an excellent pun.

[LOL4Polio]

LOL! Best lines:

"There closed on sundays because thats when we go to church."

and

"Why doesn't Kirk Cameron get more work?"

[bianque04]

i miss you guys...

[averonicacc29]

could have been funny, but it's not

[LOL4Polio]

@averonicacc29 Don't be sad. I'm sure there's "shit atheists say" out there so you won't feel picked on.

[averonicacc29]

@LOL4Polio lol, that's nice of you to say :)

[iolanthela]

@averonicacc29 It *is* funny. Deal with it.

[nathanojserolf]

100% accurate

[pudgy7964]

@nathanojserolf 100% accurate on Bush

[NikkiLoulabell]

I believe you have a demon inside of you hahaha

[dangerousinsect]

This is soooooo fantastic! <3

[seanthom2004]

hahah Chick-fil-a..Christians love chick-fil-a

[estepnwulf]

If someone's sinful enough to get Left Behind after the Rapture, Global Warming will be their problem. The least of their problems. Heh.

[iolanthela]

@estepnwulf Way to be compassionate, guy.

[zaccurrier]

Dr. Dobson is my hero.

[TheEccentricKitty]

Chick-fil-aaaaayyy

[laboldemo]

This hilarious! Best one yet for this type of "Shit _____ Say" Vids!