Added: 2 years ago
From: discordian420
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  • @pimpbranmuffin

    fuck you

  • Yeah what is with the depressing background music?

  • FUCKING THANK YOU!

  • fuck the background music

  • I attempted suicide once, then I took an arrow to the knee

  • @ArcanePath360 u sick fuck...

  • @ArcanePath360 That isn't funny, bro. Fuck you.

  • @wiigenius Funny is a subjective term, bro. Fuck you.

  • @pimpbranmuffin shame your dick isn't...

  • @pimpbranmuffin

    If that were really the case, you would have killed yourself a long time ago. Takes one to know one.

  • I killed myself yesterday because of this clip.

  • 'Life is like a movie, if you've sat through more than half of it and it’s sucked every second so far, it probably isn't gonna get great right at the end and make it all worthwhile. No one should blame you for walking out early.'

    PROfuckingFOUND!

  • AMEN !

  • Comment removed

  • @PullingTeeth1 if you haven't heard the cd, the guitarist is named henry phillips. he's actually there onstage with doug, it's part of the cd itself.

  • @ggalexhutchings

    Well then i guess i´m a douche...

  • I am a dealer, and if someone killed them self on my game, it would be my last day as a dealer.

  • @paydirt78 why do I doubt that?

  • @jadavis84 Well, that proves you don't know me...

  • …the "sad" guitar music is ruining it a bit :P

  • This is video is too true..........

  • That old guy isn't very inventive. Surely there'd be a way to choke yourself to death with pudding.

  • I just ran out of weed

    Feelin like taking the cowards way out ;)

  • oh my god the music in the backround makes this so deppressing

  • @vibronicz nice.. and i didn't even hear the music. you sir have good hearing sense

  • @Trogoth1337 Sometimes there isn't dude. I tried to off myself in grade 8. Had an abusive mom and nobody would believe me. Where would a 12 year old go? Add in that I lived in a small town in buttfuck nowhere, and everyone in town knew where i lived and would drag me back. Sometimes death seems better than another decade of pain when you're barely past 10 years old to begin with. Glad I didn't succeed cuz things are better now, but i would have been completely justified then.

  • @Trogoth1337 doesn't it sadden you that people in dispair dont see that there's so much to see in the universe?

    they just block them selfes..

  • @sambugbug When one is that deeply in despair, one CAN'T see all that there is in the universe. It's like looking through a deep, dark haze, and not being able to see more than a few feet in front of me. As to blocking myself, it's a defense mechanism to dull the agony that is everyday life.

    I speak from personal experience here, as I have been suicidal for about 25 years now.

  • @darkridr25 well thats my point, i know people in despair dont see hope in things. and come to think of it life IS somewhat meaningless. the only meaning in life is what you make of it.

  • I am for suicide.

  • @rycka1983 There is a time and a place for everything.

  • He's a comic people. He tells jokes! Why is anyone taking it seriously. If you can't take the joke don't listen.

  • @dgillan12 as so does it wound. but thers a key and its not to take life to seriously, because nobody makes out alive anyways. - Einstein 

  • @dgillan12

    time does not heal something that's been there from the start some things stay there forever

    they say temporary problems but you have to remember most people don't fucking kill themselves to temporary problems nope most of the time there eternal pieces of your life that wont ever ever go away

  • @dgillan12 Did you hear the floppy penis lips, catheterization and dementia. Yeah sure they are temporary and healed by time.

  • @senorcumshot R u OK?

  • @dgillan12

    "Time heals."

    Except when it doesn't.

  • @jermd1990 Add more time...

    

  • STANHOPE FOR PRESIDENT!

  • if god didn't want us to leave the physical realm and enter the spirit realm....

    WOULD HE HAVE LEFT AN OPEN EXIT?

    doug stanhope, like all great comedians, is brave enough to tell the truth about life.

  • mmmmmm.....pudding.

  • it's your own life, your own choice fine but in most cases it affects so many people(family, friends etc.) who have to be considdered before doing such a thing wich in most cases doesn't happen

  • @Gfaqwoody71 usually people kill themselves because all those people whose feelings you're supposed to be worried about when you off yourself are too clueless or apathetic to realize you're someone on the verge of killing yourself.

  • Rawest comedian ever!

  • this is some ill ass shit right here

  • People who say "coward" clearly do not understand this mental illness. When a person is so confused & depressed that they commit suicide, they're not thinking straight....otherwise suicide wouldn't even be a consideration. Devastating loved ones with your suicide is also something the ill person cant always understand. Maybe simple to us, but they're unable to see past the total despair to reach a better solution. The biggest shame is that many would live if they received necessary treatment.

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  • @orangemod you're wrong

  • @trueclaude Explain why I am wrong TC. I have personal experience on both ends of the subject. I would be interested to hear what you have to say.

    Cheers

  • @orangemod

    this is ****ing bull**** your only thinking right now about people jumping off bridges or in front of trains...

    what about people in the hospital that are in great pain but not terminaly Ill

    or those that are but it will take 10 years of inimmaginaly great pains... what then you going to deny death to them?

  • @Gfaqwoody71 GF, I think we have our wires crossed here. I wouldn't deny them the right to live or die as they choose. People who are terminally ill are a different situation from someone who is just sick, but can recover. I'm not sure what you are asking me...please clarify.

    Cheers !!!

  • @orangemod what does GF mean?

    anyway what I was saying not everyone who commits suicide has a mental illness for some it's a choice wich they tought long and hard about I agree someone with a mental illness or a temporary depresion shouldn't kill themselves but if someone is so unhappy with his life and they can't see any change happening and this is their choice... let them

    also im not asking you anything I was just commenting on your view not just for you but for others who feel the same

  • @Gfaqwoody71 "GF" was just the first 2 letters of your username...just for short. Anyways, thanks for the reply. You have valid points. I lost my Cousin because of severe depression & drug abuse. He may have been helped if someone had understood how badly depressed he was. Cheers !!!

  • "Life is precious, turn me." Thanks, once again, Doug Stanhope.

  • committing suicide is the most bad ass thing you can do

  • damn, this guy is amazing!

  • somebody shoot this fuck in the head

  • @TheTrueFranchise Can't tell if you are serious.

  • Doug Stanhope's act is like animal porn.

  • omg the fkn pudding got me

  • if there was ever a candidate for suicide it's, doug total waste of space

  • @inthepurelight NAH I RECKON YOU

  • Why is Doug a waste of space?

  • BOOM!!!!! hahahhhahaa

  • Assisted suicide will never happen in the US, there's too many jobs in nursing homes, billions of dollars worth of pharmaceutical drugs being purchased for old people with various ailments and basically someone would be losing money. Certainly jobs would be created, but how many doctors would actually be willing to help kill someone? Morals really don't play into part here in the U.S. like some people think, its all about $.

  • @vivalabad6 It does happen in the US. In some states, at least.

  • @vivalabad6 true dat 

  • @vivalabad6 Actually, assisted suicide is legal in Oregon.

  • @JoelMatton

    I love my state.... Common sense is (relatively) still present around here.

  • I've had my share of depressing thoughts....but to slice open my wrists...how much will do you need to ignore the pain, keep seeing the blood, keep slicing,...

    more courage then a alot of people i know

  • awesome, so true.

  • Any way to make a buck!

  • I don't think people who commit suicide are cowards, nor do I understand acting all upset about it, I mean if they take some sleeping pills, or slit their wrists, it's likely they're trying to get attention, but a double barrel to the temple seems to indicate their desired result pretty clearly. It's what they wanted, who am I to judge?

  • @BJCHESTER You are kind of judging them, by the method they use. They're not serious if they don't use a gun?

  • That line about pudding, thats what term "coup de grace" was invented for.

  • You don't know Jack.K

  • Doug Stanhope is amazing. He does remind me a lot of Bill Hicks, but in a more vulgar way, which is tough to do. What a great comedian...

  • Doug Stanhope for President of the United States!

  • @douglas787

    DOUG STANHOPE FOR NWO LEADER!

  • I love this guy, I want to become him.

  • i worked in a dementia home, your fuckin right doug x

  • @claireshrew

    Working in on a home for the demented sounds awfully depressing. Is it?

  • It is, not for me, just it's they were once cool people, then there just rotting away and dont know who they are, is that humaine? thats what depressed me @ThatMan0verThere

  • "The only reason he hasn't killed himself is he can't figure out how to do it with pudding." Man I've heard a lot of great lines in my time and nowadays it takes more and more to get me laughing, but that one I didn't see coming. Maybe it's a paradox but guys like Doug makes me believe that sometimes the world is still a great place to be in.

  • why is there stupid music on it?

    

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  • Hell yeah!

  • i would say its the other way around. It takes alot of balls to shoot yourself.

  • I like this guy the more I listen to him. Great stuff.

  • This guy totally gets it! I'm not advocating suicide here, but people who commit suicide are DEFINITELY NOT cowards. What a fucked up society we live in. Whenever I hear people talking about someone who killed themselves THIS IS ALL I FUCKING HEAR and it makes me FUCKING SICK. It's pure ignorance. I wouldn't want anyone to kill themselves, I would actually try my best to stop someone from doing it.

  • @squishyblanket Lying around in bed all day living on medication is cowardly.

  • @pretorious700 Okay, I want you to stop and think about what you just said for a minute. Hopefully you'll see how stupid you sound. I think this might be the stupidest thing I've heard someone say. I mean, it might not be, but it's up there.

  • @squishyblanket go fuck yourself

  • @pretorious700 Right after you.

  • @squishyblanket As far as I'm concerned, its got to take a set of balls to point a gun to your head and pull the trigger.

  • man this guy is underrated. he is as good as george carlin and lewis black..

  • Probably my favorite of Doug's albums.

  • I'm sick of people saying suicide isn't an option. Fuck em. It's my life. Only I know if it's really worth living or not, no one else. I applaud Doug for having the balls to speak out the way he has about this really controversial topic.

  • @Colddeed first off sorry for your loss this post made me understand your first post a bit better I think we both didn't get the full picture I didn't think about people with mental problems and drug abuse. tough I still think if someone who is completly lucid that person should be able to decide of his own life

    also rereading my first post I was a bit harsh It's a bad habbit when I first enter a discussion

  • @Colddeed Absolutely! Those who don't "understand" suicide are lucky enough to never have needed that option. When you've reached middle age and you realize that your life has been a downhill slide and you've been drained and don't have the energy anymore to battle on, maybe people shouldn't judge you because you just can't continue in misery.

  • in fucking TEARS ROLLIN!! HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAH

  • whoever thinks suicide is the cowards way out are imbeciles from a relatviely privaleged position. it's the hardest thing to do as we are geared towards surviving at any cost. there are as many reasons for suicide as there are people in the world.

    assisted suicide should be available.

  • Scuicide isn't the cowards way out not many people even have the fuking guts to put there life at risk!! You have to have some balls to end your life real big ones!!

  • @likeapunkstar life nor suicide belongs to cowards. terrible desperation leads to ending your own days. i don't know it, thank the gods. i hope no-one that reads this ever does. but do I or should we despise the suicidal? walk a yard, much less a mile, in their shoes. then tell me they're cowards.

  • Floppy penis lips...

  • It's harsh, but he's right.

  • DOUG IS MY GOD

  • I love Stanhope!

    Nicolas Adjuder

    Author

    Please Break The Law.com

  • i wouldnt mind dying if i could do it up right binge drink for 7 days straight do a rail of cocaine pop some acid go up on the roof of an office building wait for a newscrew and when they ask me why in going to jump i pull mt pants down and fart then i jump and die laughing.

  • @alchoholic20 Why do it that way when you could take your life's savings,go to Thailand and fuck every cute HIV whore until you go broke or finally develop full blown aids ? Only Doug Stanhope can make suicide funny.Cheers mate !

  • @justcallmeassinine I like your idea too

  • @alchoholic20 I'm glad.After you get aids you go to the hospital and then use your idea....you can go for years with aids so why the rush to get high and jump off a building.Fuck yourself to death,first.

  • @alchoholic20 LOL

  • the addition of music to the background really mellowed out the delivery... what was that?

  • @ihavederphands Stanhope had a guitar dude playing in the background. Forget his name, but Doug name-checks him on the cd (deadbeat hero).

  • @eezysqueezy Henry Phillips is the guy's name, I believe.

  • @1614528 Yeah that sounds about right. Thanks.

  • @ihavederphands The album is called "Something To Take The Edge Off".

    I guess it served its purpose!

  • This did actually have a big affect on me. I was very depressed as a very young child and this really hit home, I'm well now but it took me back and reminded me of how in the grand scheme of things...nothing ever matters.

  • According to wikipedia - In August 2008, Stanhope endorsed Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama, citing his disappointment with the libertarian candidates

  • he can't kill himself with pudding.  genius

  • At least try some mushrooms before you try suicide.

  • @JazzyJonas I've been waiting for a comment like that. I completely agree.

  • sad but true.

  • Man...listening to him speak is soooo fucking refreshing

  • Listen to the crowd laughing... They're on the verge of crying, man.

  • Sorrow is the best comedy :D

  • @devilscry01 Comedy is tragedy plus time!

  • LOL

  • Fuckin stanhope is on another level, I say do drugs and drink and stop being a pussy, suicide is the bravest shit ever, check my site for the best comedy, the best shit is the most controversial, end of shory, shop thinking and LIVE!!!,

  • I don't know why, but I laughed and cried all at the same time. That was incredible.

  • if pretty sure drugs have saved my life many times...

  • Fucking brilliant.

  • This guy is my hero!.

  • He is so right. Life is like a bad movie, it you feel it's sucked so far, it will only get worse.

    Somebody kill me.

  • @MsJuventina start moving

  • @MsJuventina You have iPhone 4 V Galaxy as as one of your favourites...I think it's fair to assume you already are dead

  • Stanhope 4 President.

  • I'm a waiter at an old folks home, and he is 100% right. I see people who'd be better off dead all the time. They can't feed themselves, they can't walk, they can barely string a sentence together. I literally had an old lady tell me she was gonna die soon. Like, all I wanna know is if you want soup, goddamn.

  • .........you could hear him. Quit complaining you stupid twat. Oh no a strumming guitar distracts my retarded mind from fart jokes. I should complain. Stfu tard........

  • That whole CD was difficult because of the music. Great show, but that experiment didn't work at all.

  • I liked the atmosphere, went well with talking about suicide

  • "If it were a coward's way out, everyone would be doing it; there's not a lot of brave people in this world."

  • I agree with Doug. If someone wants to kill themselves, they should be allowed to. I'm in favor of assisted suicide. If a patient wants to die, the doctor should give him/her the proper death-drug.

  • @777swineflu because you never been in love and had your heart broken . it's humour, doug is not trying to give you his real opinion , he tries to make you laugh, don't be such a sheep fool ! there's things in life who happens to a lot of people, and makes you think about suicide, takes away the taste of life , and few months after, you're getting better. just imagine the number of people who would kill himself at some point of their lives, and would do the most stupid thing for us ...

  • @777swineflu Or you can just do way too many legal drugs, like alcohol, tobacco, presciption drugs. Dont take illegal drugs, they might leave you alive, like Cannabis or xtc (turns out, it doesnt damage the brain, but the social lifestyle of xtc-users: drink booze and fuck all night=> you're body is running out of fluids=> thicker blood=>Higher BP + big chance of infarct)

    fun fact if you want to kill yourself on cannabis: find or roll 20.000 Columbian strenght joints (thc >10%) in 15 mins

  • @777swineflu making suicide illegal implies the government owns your body. it's my favourite law as it is the clearest at proving this. fuck government

  • @beardedswine Very true. Talk about violation of free will.

  • Mid life, sounds about right.

    Love this guy.

  • 'The only reason he hasn't killed himself is that he hasn't figured out a way to do it with pudding'. I laughed until a bit of wee came out. Brilliant. One things for sure if I am in that state religious dogma can kiss my ass I will take the pets way out and be put down.

  • Doug's his own person.  I love to see and hear him, anytime!

  • what did these assholes say to get their comments removed? i am totally curious for some reason.

  • No, they must have removed their own comments. If the video creator removes comments, they don't show up at all. I was confused about that for awhile too.

  • thank you kindly.

  • could do without retarded music

  • Comment removed

  • @dr1345 i haven't scrolled through the comments to see if anybody answered this, but it's actually part of the cd. the guitarist is henry phillips and was standing there on stage with doug during the set. doug actually mentions him a few times.

  • @dr1345 i haven't scrolled through the comments to see if anybody answered this, but it's actually part of the cd. the guitarist is henry phillips and was standing there on stage with doug during the set. doug actually mentions him a few times. in fact, in the beginning of the cd, doug says something to the effect of ' i'm kind of offensive, henry phillips is just a little something to take the edge off ' which is the name of the cd.

  • this guy is golden! laughed my ass off!

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  • "No one should blame you for walking early."

    Indeed.

  • chuukeen! xD

  • "When you've nothing to lose, you run any risk you want" - Fahrenheit 451

    Basically, if you are going to kill yourself, if you are going to end it all, then you have nothing to lose. You can do whatever you want because you are not afraid of death. Suicide is not the answer because its a waste. You can kill yourself but blowing your brains out, or sky diving into the white house.

  • that comment made me wanna kill myself......

  • Zrogoszinski. Wanting to commit suicide doesn't mean you don't mind pain or getting locked up.

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  • lol awesome