They were not rude... negligent, maybe; they assessed his personality wrong. This aggressive tactic may work for certain people and they probably had some incorrect information or some prior (arrest records) information that they misread. In the end, no sworn officer pulled a trigger that day. The culpability lies with the gun holder; we as a society seem to remove responsibility due to "psychological malfunction," but the thing is - how far do we take away responsibility from one's actions?
We've grown slowly apart,But you've always been in my heart. From a distance I watched you grow,Wondering about the man I'd get to know. there is no replacement, You were always my HERO I could be no prouder I could love you no more. I will never be too far away No matter the distance You’ll always be in my heart AND I all I can say is I'm So proud Of YOU,I'm So proud Of YOU, I'm So proud Of YOU.
the thing was grant wanted someone to listen to him he wanted people to know the things he was going through, he wanted to know people cared about him and that they were there for him and had all day to listen, that cop kept saying listen to him all grant wanted was someone to talk to, i plan on being a cop trust me i have hard times myself
My name is Andy Downs. I lecture to hostage negotiators about mt father hijacking from 1971. Similar tactics killed my father in 1971 and though some things have changed, not enough has. I would like to be of assistance in helping change things in Oceanside. My father civil case helped force the FBI to start the first hostage negotiation team.
The family or their representatives can contact me through my website at 58November
1) Fire this moron cop. If he doesn't understand that there are situations where you can't follow a rulebook on the dot he is a fucking moron and shouldn't be there.
2) Change the fucking regulations. Did no one consult a professional before they made this. This guy said so many wrong things it is ridiculous.
that was one of my best friends all i have to say is fuck opd. for the most part they should all be shot in the face multiple times. i hope they get on here and read the comments. Dustin Meyen
@activejames It needs to be told that OPD didn't let EMT assist Grant for 19 mins after the shot was fired. People need to know that it isnt about protecting and serving. Wake up and wise up.
I see th reasoning of how the cop was talking to the guy, We all have feelings. Even cops. we all have some type of depression we go through. Only thing we can do is look at things from a different prospective. Depending on the situation, even with a sense of humor. also.
I believe it as I just moved to Oceanside and have some issues with depression and I was not handled well either by the Oceanside,PD they need more compassion on human beings as we are people to.
FUCK OPD. the most cowardly force in all of america. this is so fucked up. i hope the negotiator dies a gruesome slow death. & thinks about what he did to this little homies life. un-fucking believable.
Sashabooboo wow interesting Eric! If you want to speak to the facts fine but don't lie. Officer's are not trained to deal with suicidal subjects like that individual did. The young man did not have a "history" of suicide attempts. Other people's losses are of no concern to you.....fine but guarantee if it was somebody you cared about it would be a total different story huh! What's really sad is people like you!
Thank you SBnative! The Officer in this has extensive training and has sucessfully ended many situations. Perhaps some of you in SD County recall a woman on the freeway that was suicidal. Different methods have to be used sometimes, rather than molly coddling. Remember, this person was suicidal. He had a prior history of suicide attempts. Where did the gun come from? No one wants to talk about that. It's sad he's gone but put the blame where it belongs.
I think that the negotiator did not handle this situation very well at all. Instead of keeping Grant engaged in a positive conversation, he seemed to be putting hiim down and making Grant feel even worse about himself and the situation. Committing suicide does not mean that someone is a coward, it just means that they are so emotionally and mentally distraught and do not recieve the adequate help. Please stop bashing on him for his actions.
I feel that the police officer should have showed more compassion in this situation. Not only did the officer tell the kid to shut up but, he also told the kid if you do the crime be prepared to to the time. I feel that the officer should have negotiated with the kid and tried to work with the kid to show some sign of hope and a way to get help. If the kid was the only one in the house OPD should have had all the time in the world to work with this kid to save his life.
I would not say that most cops are asses. Many people do not realize how much training officers must endure, although you could not tell by this case. I am so sorry and I have dealt with people I love that feel suicidal and it is like walking on egg shells. This person had improper training and the result was the conclusion of this tragic story. Please let me know what I can do to try to make some change...too late, but hopefully not too little.
Thanks for viewing this! It is not for entertainment but to expose the way in which suicidal persons are responded to by the police. Please can you help and send a composed message go to ACLU San Diego and go to home page ACLU click on Oceanside Police Suicide Response then click on Urge Oceanside to Better Protect People Suffering from Depression then click on Keep Up the Pressure on Oceanside Mayor.
a cop who wasn't trained in how to deal with this, and who had no idea he was making the situation worse. he probably thought he was doing the "let's be a tough guy, we'll force the issue" strategy. how wrong.
This is 4 minutes of a 2 hour conversation. It is not right to take a small bit of something out of context and then to blame one person. I'm sure other people made mistakes in this situation too. my condolences to the family, my prayers are with them.
OMFG what a bastard that cop was to do that jesus all this guy needed was a listening ear and assurance that there is someone there for him! this is disgraceful how police are not trained for these kind of situations! I sympahtise for the family and friends!
I just wonder if the officer would deal with it the same way if it was a member of his family in the same situation.
FYI- I'm Grant's cousin and I know he comes from a family who love him very much. If the officers had bothered to contact them during the negotiations maybe wwe could have told him that and maybe he'd still be here...?
I think some of you guys are missin the point. This vid isn't about the fact Grant took his own life but the awful way in which it was handled. He was treated like a criminal when he needed someone to reassure him and let him know that he was loved by his family and his friends. Instead he was shouted at and insulted at a time when he was at his lowest by a proffessional who is suppossed to serve and protect public citizens.
The parents are simply urging the oceanside police dept to change their policies on suicide negotiations.The OC departments has had many issues the past couple of years with excessive force. Research this topic.
rest in peace grant we love and miss you . to those watching keep in mind this video is to help train cops for situations like these. dont mind the talk about lawsuits that is beyond false and really disrespectful to say.
If your kid put himself in the situation Grant did would you want him handled in the same way? If you'd been out of town while this was happening would you as a parent feel good about how that police officer ran things? I for one would NOT. Grant was young and foolish and made a mistake by escalating his breakup situation to make threats to harm himself with a gun. But the police put far more pressure on him than they needed to and it was clear that he suddenly saw no way out.
Stay on the subject, people. The parents aren't GOING for a lawsuit; they're just saying procedures in suicide prevention need to be examined & maybe revamped. The dickhead who talked with Grant on the phone lost his cool because he felt he was fighting a losing battle & decided to show his true level of intelligence by taking it out on Grant. REAL smart way to deal with someone at the end of his rope. Having been at the brink of suicide myself once, this situation is nothing short of appalling.
Hello~!! It's been all over the news. The Sattaur parents were on the local SD networks Thursday evening with the ACLU dog/lawyer barking for them. This is their attempt to bring a law suit.
This comment has received too many negative votesshow
this is an attemp to get the word out there to all those dumbass police that dont know how to do their job. grants parents dont want to bring a lawsuit they just want the police to be trained for situations like this
Totally insensitive cop, but this is NOT lawsuit material. I once dated a guy who threatened suicide when we broke up, and I was paralyzed & intimidated by his threats for months. Over the next 5 years, he did the same thing to 3 others who broke up with him. At age 23, he killed himself at the house of his most recent ex-girlfriend. Guys who manipulate women this way are on a tragic path. If he was saved this time, there still would've been next time. We can't save people from themselves.
I don't think there is an allegation the cop killed the young man..I think the vd is saying the cop was insensitive to this man's suffering...and he was. When someone is in pain you don't attack what little dignity they have left...
When the ACLU is called in by the parents to consider legal action--they're attacking the system. These Oceansice cops deal with one of the most violent of towns in SD County and risk their lives everyday protecting us. The vid showed a distraught young man who could not find enough communication with his parents to deal with his problem. Cops are not priests, teachers or social workers--why do we attack them when they don't act as such? My sympathy to the family--and my respect for the OPD.
I am so sorry Grant that your cry for help was treated so poorly....you were hurting..all you needed was a kind and loving word,encouragement...so sorry....Rest in Peace. 1 Thess.4:13,14
The cop obviously didn't know how to speak to a mentally ill person threatening to commit suicide, but should that be his job? Most guys don't grab a gun and threaten to shoot themselves to manipulate girlfriends. Cops deal with criminals, so when they talk to someone making threats with a gun, they talk to them as if they were talking to a criminal.
thats why your average street cops dont handle those phone calls... the ones who do get special training for it, and apparently this guy missed a few sessions of training.
@susan987654 threatening to commit suicide allo its not a threat if it was he would be here. mayb the gf should of got her shit together before she fk with him we all say and do thing to the people we love but sometimes it goes to far and well we can c it did suicide is not a crime it is a cry for help and as long as we keep saying that its a crime people will keep doing it cause people like u and others dont care
i feel like this officer of the law doesnt knwo the law and that to me he and the department are corrupt. these oceanside cops are not doing there job correctly and people like Grant have to pay the price becuase of the lack of training these cops have. i really think Grant would be alive today if the right person was speaking with him to help him through this tough time. thanks for nothing cops!! learn your damn laws and learn how to operate with the community in different situations.
One more idiot off the street
IRageAtBlackKids 2 weeks ago
fuckkkk rip grant
skatesferdays 1 month ago
They were not rude... negligent, maybe; they assessed his personality wrong. This aggressive tactic may work for certain people and they probably had some incorrect information or some prior (arrest records) information that they misread. In the end, no sworn officer pulled a trigger that day. The culpability lies with the gun holder; we as a society seem to remove responsibility due to "psychological malfunction," but the thing is - how far do we take away responsibility from one's actions?
SSAufklaerer 3 months ago
@SSAufklaerer
The Negotiator was inept to deal with a young man that was having his worst day. The Malfunction was the Negotiator.
eyesonthefuture2008 3 months ago in playlist Police
We've grown slowly apart,But you've always been in my heart. From a distance I watched you grow,Wondering about the man I'd get to know. there is no replacement, You were always my HERO I could be no prouder I could love you no more. I will never be too far away No matter the distance You’ll always be in my heart AND I all I can say is I'm So proud Of YOU,I'm So proud Of YOU, I'm So proud Of YOU.
at1775 4 months ago
that cop should be charged with manslaughter
idonotwastenames 5 months ago
the thing was grant wanted someone to listen to him he wanted people to know the things he was going through, he wanted to know people cared about him and that they were there for him and had all day to listen, that cop kept saying listen to him all grant wanted was someone to talk to, i plan on being a cop trust me i have hard times myself
CovertOPSDragunov 8 months ago
that cop has no patience
CovertOPSDragunov 8 months ago
My name is Andy Downs. I lecture to hostage negotiators about mt father hijacking from 1971. Similar tactics killed my father in 1971 and though some things have changed, not enough has. I would like to be of assistance in helping change things in Oceanside. My father civil case helped force the FBI to start the first hostage negotiation team.
The family or their representatives can contact me through my website at 58November
58NovemberMovie 8 months ago
1) Fire this moron cop. If he doesn't understand that there are situations where you can't follow a rulebook on the dot he is a fucking moron and shouldn't be there.
2) Change the fucking regulations. Did no one consult a professional before they made this. This guy said so many wrong things it is ridiculous.
goonodeath 11 months ago
Its like we were kicking it just the other day..........R.I.P homie
opopopo333 1 year ago
that was one of my best friends all i have to say is fuck opd. for the most part they should all be shot in the face multiple times. i hope they get on here and read the comments. Dustin Meyen
135thedman 1 year ago 2
@135thedman Word. Its a bad idea to call 911 when someone is suicidal. Don't do it people!
eyesonthefuture2008 1 year ago
fuck opd thir stupid and lame fuken pigs man!!!
jessie11uriel 1 year ago
Shame on you Oceanside Police. Grant's blood is on your hands.
activejames 1 year ago
@activejames He was called a coward but we all know who the true cowards are!!!!
eyesonthefuture2008 1 year ago
@activejames It needs to be told that OPD didn't let EMT assist Grant for 19 mins after the shot was fired. People need to know that it isnt about protecting and serving. Wake up and wise up.
eyesonthefuture2008 1 year ago
RIP grant. this is fuckin sadening news to me used to go to EC and live down the street from him
itsmellsinhere666 2 years ago
Policy and procedure changes. The recording of Grant used for training on how NOT to negotiate.
Draw your own conclusion!!!!!
eyesonthefuture2008 2 years ago
I see th reasoning of how the cop was talking to the guy, We all have feelings. Even cops. we all have some type of depression we go through. Only thing we can do is look at things from a different prospective. Depending on the situation, even with a sense of humor. also.
lethalxromeo 2 years ago
I believe it as I just moved to Oceanside and have some issues with depression and I was not handled well either by the Oceanside,PD they need more compassion on human beings as we are people to.
AutisticsSurvive 2 years ago
Great news.........Swat/CNT changes!
Policy and procedures changes have been made as a result of what happened to Grant. Does how you do something matter? YES.
Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.
Just remember it was somebody elses struggle that allows you the life you live today.
eyesonthefuture2008 2 years ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
I don't care for cops. But I don't give a damn about suicidal people, either. Let the losers go.
Maybe I'm biased because I've faced death a time or two.
Suicide is the answer to someone else's problem.
theunknownknows 2 years ago
FUCK OPD. the most cowardly force in all of america. this is so fucked up. i hope the negotiator dies a gruesome slow death. & thinks about what he did to this little homies life. un-fucking believable.
sbgtfu1 3 years ago 2
@sbgtfu1 hah, fag
rapehitler 1 year ago
"The tongue has the power of life and death"
eyesonthefuture2008 3 years ago 8
fuck.
asha1134 3 years ago
Sashabooboo wow interesting Eric! If you want to speak to the facts fine but don't lie. Officer's are not trained to deal with suicidal subjects like that individual did. The young man did not have a "history" of suicide attempts. Other people's losses are of no concern to you.....fine but guarantee if it was somebody you cared about it would be a total different story huh! What's really sad is people like you!
eyesonthefuture2008 3 years ago 3
Thank you SBnative! The Officer in this has extensive training and has sucessfully ended many situations. Perhaps some of you in SD County recall a woman on the freeway that was suicidal. Different methods have to be used sometimes, rather than molly coddling. Remember, this person was suicidal. He had a prior history of suicide attempts. Where did the gun come from? No one wants to talk about that. It's sad he's gone but put the blame where it belongs.
Sashabooboo 3 years ago
A Special Thanks to all the awesome people who "get it" and have been supportive. You make a difference and are truly the future.
eyesonthefuture2008 3 years ago
I think that the negotiator did not handle this situation very well at all. Instead of keeping Grant engaged in a positive conversation, he seemed to be putting hiim down and making Grant feel even worse about himself and the situation. Committing suicide does not mean that someone is a coward, it just means that they are so emotionally and mentally distraught and do not recieve the adequate help. Please stop bashing on him for his actions.
Blink182babe418 3 years ago 2
I feel that the police officer should have showed more compassion in this situation. Not only did the officer tell the kid to shut up but, he also told the kid if you do the crime be prepared to to the time. I feel that the officer should have negotiated with the kid and tried to work with the kid to show some sign of hope and a way to get help. If the kid was the only one in the house OPD should have had all the time in the world to work with this kid to save his life.
run2npsoicu812 3 years ago 2
I would not say that most cops are asses. Many people do not realize how much training officers must endure, although you could not tell by this case. I am so sorry and I have dealt with people I love that feel suicidal and it is like walking on egg shells. This person had improper training and the result was the conclusion of this tragic story. Please let me know what I can do to try to make some change...too late, but hopefully not too little.
xxSamanthax 3 years ago
Help us help others by going to Save A Life Walk 2008 and donating $2.50 to the Hillestad family. Thank you for making a difference.
eyesonthefuture2008 3 years ago
that's pretty upsetting
marcxdestroyer 3 years ago
fucking heartbreaking.
angelheartbecky 3 years ago 2
Thanks for viewing this! It is not for entertainment but to expose the way in which suicidal persons are responded to by the police. Please can you help and send a composed message go to ACLU San Diego and go to home page ACLU click on Oceanside Police Suicide Response then click on Urge Oceanside to Better Protect People Suffering from Depression then click on Keep Up the Pressure on Oceanside Mayor.
eyesonthefuture2008 3 years ago
a cop who wasn't trained in how to deal with this, and who had no idea he was making the situation worse. he probably thought he was doing the "let's be a tough guy, we'll force the issue" strategy. how wrong.
OzTerri 3 years ago
This is 4 minutes of a 2 hour conversation. It is not right to take a small bit of something out of context and then to blame one person. I'm sure other people made mistakes in this situation too. my condolences to the family, my prayers are with them.
SBnative75 3 years ago
Wow!
What the hell is the matter with the Cops?
AssetKicker 3 years ago 2
OMFG what a bastard that cop was to do that jesus all this guy needed was a listening ear and assurance that there is someone there for him! this is disgraceful how police are not trained for these kind of situations! I sympahtise for the family and friends!
crinacoffey3 3 years ago 2
I just wonder if the officer would deal with it the same way if it was a member of his family in the same situation.
FYI- I'm Grant's cousin and I know he comes from a family who love him very much. If the officers had bothered to contact them during the negotiations maybe wwe could have told him that and maybe he'd still be here...?
JimBones17 3 years ago
I think some of you guys are missin the point. This vid isn't about the fact Grant took his own life but the awful way in which it was handled. He was treated like a criminal when he needed someone to reassure him and let him know that he was loved by his family and his friends. Instead he was shouted at and insulted at a time when he was at his lowest by a proffessional who is suppossed to serve and protect public citizens.
JimBones17 3 years ago
We miss you Grant.
fuck oside police Jade i got your back
thisisdruxoxo 3 years ago
The parents are simply urging the oceanside police dept to change their policies on suicide negotiations.The OC departments has had many issues the past couple of years with excessive force. Research this topic.
mpicon04 3 years ago
the parents are not suing..get the facts
mpicon04 3 years ago
hmmm... I thought all Oceanside police did was harrass marines and bust people in porn shops.
cryan71 3 years ago
Stupid comment. Next time you need assistance maybe you could find a customer from a porn shop.
petejen98 3 years ago 3
The truth hurts
cryan71 3 years ago
rest in peace grant we love and miss you . to those watching keep in mind this video is to help train cops for situations like these. dont mind the talk about lawsuits that is beyond false and really disrespectful to say.
jadesappington 3 years ago
If your kid put himself in the situation Grant did would you want him handled in the same way? If you'd been out of town while this was happening would you as a parent feel good about how that police officer ran things? I for one would NOT. Grant was young and foolish and made a mistake by escalating his breakup situation to make threats to harm himself with a gun. But the police put far more pressure on him than they needed to and it was clear that he suddenly saw no way out.
califwoods 3 years ago
Stay on the subject, people. The parents aren't GOING for a lawsuit; they're just saying procedures in suicide prevention need to be examined & maybe revamped. The dickhead who talked with Grant on the phone lost his cool because he felt he was fighting a losing battle & decided to show his true level of intelligence by taking it out on Grant. REAL smart way to deal with someone at the end of his rope. Having been at the brink of suicide myself once, this situation is nothing short of appalling.
oliasdoug 3 years ago
Hello~!! It's been all over the news. The Sattaur parents were on the local SD networks Thursday evening with the ACLU dog/lawyer barking for them. This is their attempt to bring a law suit.
InTheChill 3 years ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
this is an attemp to get the word out there to all those dumbass police that dont know how to do their job. grants parents dont want to bring a lawsuit they just want the police to be trained for situations like this
jadesappington 3 years ago
Totally insensitive cop, but this is NOT lawsuit material. I once dated a guy who threatened suicide when we broke up, and I was paralyzed & intimidated by his threats for months. Over the next 5 years, he did the same thing to 3 others who broke up with him. At age 23, he killed himself at the house of his most recent ex-girlfriend. Guys who manipulate women this way are on a tragic path. If he was saved this time, there still would've been next time. We can't save people from themselves.
susan987654 3 years ago
I don't think there is an allegation the cop killed the young man..I think the vd is saying the cop was insensitive to this man's suffering...and he was. When someone is in pain you don't attack what little dignity they have left...
Molliepet 3 years ago
When the ACLU is called in by the parents to consider legal action--they're attacking the system. These Oceansice cops deal with one of the most violent of towns in SD County and risk their lives everyday protecting us. The vid showed a distraught young man who could not find enough communication with his parents to deal with his problem. Cops are not priests, teachers or social workers--why do we attack them when they don't act as such? My sympathy to the family--and my respect for the OPD.
InTheChill 3 years ago
This is very sad!! It seems after he was asked to think about his family, he chose to kill himself!!
Very sad! They definitely should have contacted his parents for assistance!!
horrified101 3 years ago
I am so sorry Grant that your cry for help was treated so poorly....you were hurting..all you needed was a kind and loving word,encouragement...so sorry....Rest in Peace. 1 Thess.4:13,14
Molliepet 3 years ago 2
The cop obviously didn't know how to speak to a mentally ill person threatening to commit suicide, but should that be his job? Most guys don't grab a gun and threaten to shoot themselves to manipulate girlfriends. Cops deal with criminals, so when they talk to someone making threats with a gun, they talk to them as if they were talking to a criminal.
susan987654 3 years ago
thats why your average street cops dont handle those phone calls... the ones who do get special training for it, and apparently this guy missed a few sessions of training.
krzee 3 years ago
@susan987654 threatening to commit suicide allo its not a threat if it was he would be here. mayb the gf should of got her shit together before she fk with him we all say and do thing to the people we love but sometimes it goes to far and well we can c it did suicide is not a crime it is a cry for help and as long as we keep saying that its a crime people will keep doing it cause people like u and others dont care
at1775 1 year ago
Comment removed
at1775 1 year ago
No - but you apparently lost your tact and empathy for the family.
freestatesd 3 years ago
Negotiator? Sounds like the moron is negotiating to get things over with so he can catch the donut shop before closing.
Wonder if the cop feels any remorse for his unprofessional handling of the situation? Judging by the tone of his voice, I would guess - no.
Grinmann 3 years ago 6
i feel like this officer of the law doesnt knwo the law and that to me he and the department are corrupt. these oceanside cops are not doing there job correctly and people like Grant have to pay the price becuase of the lack of training these cops have. i really think Grant would be alive today if the right person was speaking with him to help him through this tough time. thanks for nothing cops!! learn your damn laws and learn how to operate with the community in different situations.
osideryan 3 years ago
Good video.
The cop sounds like an ass, like most cops.
lijoti5134 3 years ago 3
Please read and write
Thank you! - Friend of Grant
mdsunflwr 3 years ago