Descartes goes into a bar and orders a beer...

[MISTERASMODEUS]

That joke is hysterical. But you tell jokes like me. Awful

[berettaNZ]

"I think therefore I am" does not imply "I do not think, therefore I am not." Denying the antecedent :)

[InflatableAnchor]

...That took two takes?

[ja524309]

What the fuck did I just watch.

[fiesta181]

Here's a joke for you: objectivism.

HAA!

[alifeofreason]

Cropper ruined it. All I can think when I see his face is the deplorable Ayn Rand.

[tenseman08]

descartes walks into a bar..the bartender asks..why the long face...oh wait..that a different joke isn't it??

[Ramsez]

is it cuz he french and dont know grammar?

[BrynLFilms]

I liked this one! :D

[ThcPatient]

This joke is so horrible that it actually works.

[JonathanMorgan2]

You obviously have never had sex.

[BIGGrobb]

Like this if you thought the punchline was going to be "I drink therefore I am!"

[MrFlyingeclipse]

I bet the waiter was Aristotle lol

[proghou123]

a much better ending would be -- descartes answers, "I don't think so..." then disappears"

[bigmike4758]

Dumbass walks into a bar. OUCH!

[finishstrongdoc]

Time is just what happens so everything doesn't happen all at once.

"Life must be lived forward but can only be learned backward"~Kirkegard~

When were you given the marvel of "time"?

Bertrand Russell thought there was no logically necessary connection between what is happening "now" and what will happen 5 minutes from now.

I think...therefore I am...thinking....now...and I don't know ...why I am thinking....now.

[Kan2209]

First the bartender would have to prove to him that he infact did finish the beer, and that the bartender infact existed, and infact that beer is.

[CWSoxfan719]

I wish you hadn't clarified who Descartes was in the beginning! That's like explaining the joke!!

[blabbitymouf]

lol

[horrorjunkie137]

hahaha. I love your videos. As a philosophy major, I appreciate this sort of thing, and they're freaking great.

[AntSuck]

You were hot until you started laughing.

[Elexadora]

@AntSuck of course that is a fallacy, from I think therefore I am you cannot derived I dont think there I am not. Thus the joke fails.

[flyingbyson1]

I read the comments and they said it was funnier without the beginning-- so I skipped it and didn't understand... I watched it again the whole way through and now I get it.

He doesn't think therefore he is not :D

[BodilogBentesBlogDK]

.. I dont get it.

[Slapbass13]

@BodilogBentesBlogDK He does not think, therefore he is not.

I know, its corny as hell.

[jjhjjff]

Ops! 

[laurarox01]

I keep accidentally coming to different video's of yours with just random things I've googled! Haha...time to sub I guess.

[IpsaPaphum]

Flauw.

[dalesalsa]

Great joke... very funny.. Especially after I just got thru watching Ken Wilber and I was thinking about some super deep complex things it was great to have a very light-hearted moment!! Excellent! Thanks!

[dsdougharty]

When one is recording themselves on video one should preveiw said video before posting it to the internet and take a second chance if needed. (hint)

[wanderer1031]

damn. talk about not thinking. i just ate the damn silica gel packet from my bag of beef jerky. wonder if i'll get dehydrated now......

[empemitheos]

it's supposed to be "I drink, therefore I AM!"!

[AceLockCo]

You can't tell a joke for shit. Funny or not, give up on the stand up, you look like a turd up there.

[MoonlitFang9812]

the problem with this joke is that in thinking 'not' he is still thinking and still IS.

[MyMomentai]

''I think - not''

(Descartes: ''I think - so i am'')

Hahahahaha funny one :DD

[mintoo2cool]

lol ... cheap bastard

[Cindy572908]

When I heard this joke in grad school in the 1990s, I thought it was funny enough that I have been telling it in my classes for nearly 20 years! Thanks for sharing it with people who are not in "Intro to Phil" classes.

[Zidonius]

worst. joke. ever...

[redassbq]

retarded

[eacans]

lol...thats wat i call a sarree....

[dooyeweerd]

A crap joke told badly!!!!!!

[HailRasec]

amerikant

[123curlyqjona]

-_____- womp

[prodprod]

A Buddhist goes up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything."

The Buddhist pays him, gets his hotdog, but doesn't get any change. He says to the hotdog vendor, "What about my change?"

The hotdog vendor replies, "Change comes from within."

[dalesalsa]

@prodprod JAJAJA Awesome joke! I love it!

[velcroboy60000]

This guy really needs to work on his delivery...

[smokinbill]

it would have been better if he said - 'no sorry, I kant'.

[pugay69]

THis is not a good philosophy joke. One is supposed to infer "I think not therefore I am not", This is the contranegative form of the original implication, and does not follow from it!!!

[scudder91]

yeah, i concur, the nature of humour is that it skews and switcheroos logic in a startling way, our sudden realization of the switch is what makes a joke funny. the problem with this joke is that there isn't a pariticularily startling switch.

that said, bad material can often be salvaged by good delivery. oh dear.

[bulletforthetrooper]

yes, it follows from it. what doesn't follow from it is "i am not, therefore i think not"

[Hoobtastic]

That means it's not good philosophy. By definition a joke mocks its subject.

[KajiCarson]

You just didn't get it.

[fede2]

it took me two seconds, but i got it. good one.

[punkvijay224]

i did not understand the joke???

[KajiCarson]

If he doesn't think, he doesn't exist.

[nonantianarchist]

meh. I was hoping it would be "I drink therefore I am".

[gilbertgodlyddd]

@nonantianarchist

Like the python sketch

[DocHallenstein]

Thank you. I got it and now feel proud.

Doc Hallenstein

[bronxling]

Thanks for the chuckle!

[parakeethands]

funny. :)

[StLennyBruce]

Well now, this video's been up for about two years now, so I can bet that you're probably already used to be widely hated for telling this joke.

I applaud your courage and am tempted to subscribe, but I gotta think about it some more.

[mattymattsax]

This joke commits a logical fallacy.

If I think, therefore I am

I don't think

Therefore I am not.

[Affirming the antecedent.]

[luke00jordan]

If i exist, then i must think.

I think not...

I do not exist.

[gmac331]

yes, that is formally valid (modus tollens), but that's not the wording of the quote and joke...

However, that raises an interesting question: is premise 1 true? Or could "I" exist without thinking? The very word "I" seems to imply self-reflection (thus thought). What if, though, it were re-worded as "if luke exists, then luke must think"? It seems not necessarily, in that case, since we cannot know with Cartesian certainty. You could exist without thinking, but neither of us would know it.

[gmac331]

it is fallacious, but it's actually denying the antecedent.

[elnietzscheano]

¬¬ have you ever read Nietzsche?? you all would note why logicals and analiticals have no sense of humor...

[12caredee21]

Bahh!

[JimMorrisonsWidow]

LOL, I liked that one. There is a similar one about Descartes on a plane but I don't remember it... I was drinking at the time I was told this so... LOL.

[Familiar7]

...that was terrible

[Jagasaurus]

Booooooooooooooo....

[NephandiMan]

Eh, I've heard that joke before.

Now if he told the one about the transcendental ideality of our phenomenal representations, *that* would've had me rolling on the floor!

[Hack2much]

I, has nothing to do with consiness, there for he who says "I think therfore I am" can not become what one can think by just thinking about it. In as much becomeing.

[PierreLucSex]

Yeppah !

I'm not !!!

HAHAHA

HAHA

HA

more

[courtabeth]

nerd

[shiftnd]

Hilarious!

[bobomcgraw]

Huh, a lot of people over analysing a joke.

And people tell me to get a life.

[Robikus]

Get a life, you're analysing people analysing an intermpetation of a bad joke. Oh shit, and I'm analysing you. We're all doomed!

[bobomcgraw]

It's like dividing by zero.

[BazzTheBoss]

omg it's paradox! we are all dead!

[blaze991]

No, Descartes would not disappear, because saying "I think not" is an act of thought. That is, to have thought of any kind (which includes to think, "I think not") is to exist.

[ktxed]

this is a british joke :P

[zarath00stra]

o rly? one of my teachers told it to me and he tought in england for a while

[snoopyflick]

Awesome joke

[valgissn]

sad attempt..

[todd9271990]

Uhh, are you guys looking for "Cogito ergo sum"?

[Pieniadzo]

lol. nice.

[virvalens]

It's only hapless austerity of english language.

[freestyleminibus]

bibo ergo sum

is

I drink therefore I am

[lbrainard10]

This is a great illustration of the fallacy of denying the antecedent.

You shouldn't try to use basic logical concepts to your advantage unless you thoroughly understand them.

[ourearthhome]

Bibo ergo sum.

Or

I am, therefore I think.

[notscooter952]

lawlz...

[curien1000]

Hilarious! Teach us more Etimespace!

[Etimespace]

onesimpleprinciple com and you know about lot of more what you know now!

[curien1000]

rofl

[delboyski]

Who was a poof? - I don't get it!

Cheers.

from,

del-boy.

[kulcid254]

Yeah, my ethics professor told this same joke. It would be better if you didn't start off with, "The Philosopher who said, 'I think therefore I am,'" because it kills the timing of the joke. Instead, assume we know who Descartes was, and his most famous quote, and the rest will simply have to be left out.

[BenedictKenny]

ウフフフフフフフ!

[verymaddog]

Incredibly stupid 'joke'.

Can you share some jokes about god, I mean, Rand ?

[jeanpaulsartre7]

unghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh­hhhhhhhhhhhh

[0BALLINN0]

its not haha funny

[delboyski]

Yes, it is!

Cheers.

from,

del-boy.

[blackacidlizzard]

The joke is funnier without explaining it first.

[cropperb]

I've found it misses people no matter what. I've tried it on every one from chefs in a restraunt to groups of university students. Almost no one ever gets it at all. So I think the reminder of who descartes was helps in a few cases. If anything can help this joke.

[blackacidlizzard]

I first heard it without the explanation, I thought it was funny - this probably goes more to my own oddity than to the value of the joke, I guess.

[cropperb]

Very possibly. I'm so odd that I like the joke, so its possible!

[snuffydoug]

I agree, the joke would have been funnier had Cropper not explained the joke first.

[willey1984]

I should have qualified my statement: no philosopher that i know of has ever made art or poetry or music that was beyond i) a mere reduction of morality or politics; ii) a pathetic inflation of feelings or ego; iii) an imitation of another greater artist. And you are a philosopher, but i totally understand your attempt to evade the title a history of thinkers has ruined. Lets return to the original notion of being a philosopher, mr. cropperb.

[cropperb]

Sign me up and call me a philosopher!

[willey1984]

Maybe there has never been a joke in philosophy because philosophy is the joke itself? Maybe we're all the butt's of the joke begun by Socrates? Imagine, the most elaborate joke ever told.

The reason philosophers cannot tell jokes is that THEY ARE TOO SELF CONSCIOUS! this is also why they can't write poetry (plato, nietzsche), can't write music (nietzsche) and can't cook (foucault). except Cropperb, who i think is funny in an off-handed way.

[cropperb]

I write poetry. But, then, I'm not necessarily a philosopher, just an intelectual.

[nine9s]

Yikes. That was pretty bad.  Did you get that from the new book, "Plato and a Platypus Walk into a Bar"?

[cropperb]

No, I got it from a proffessor in a class on Existentialism. No one got it but me and my younger brother who was taking the class concurrently. So you didn't like it, huh? Um, did you get it? (no offense)

[nine9s]

Yes, I got it. But technically, Descartes didn't mean "I think, which causes me to be," he meant "I think, therefore *I know that* I am." He said that he witnessed thought occuring, and since there could be no thought without a thinker, he knew he had to exist.

[nine9s]

Dang, that just proves that I have no sense of humor, doesn't it? ;)

[cropperb]

I can't believe I'm about to say this - its just a joke; you can't analyze it THAT deeply!

(Funny, because the only people who might have a chance at getting the joke are people who analyze things too deeply all the time. Thus the conundrum of the oxy-moron: philosophy joke.)

[gmac331]

well said

[willey1984]

That just proves what is known amongst philosophers: THERE HAS NEVER BEEN A FUNNY PHILOSOPHY JOKE. EVER!

[parispeter2]

Yes, philosophers generally prefer humour to jokes (Plato, Nietzsche even Kant had a refined sense of humour) with some exceptions (eg Russell's chicken joke in Probs of Philosophy p.35). I like the joke about the two behaviourists after making love. One says to the other "that was great for you; how was it for me?"

[nine9s]

I love that joke. Debunks behaviorism in two sentences.