Billy Connolly ~ Chritmas Dinner part2/2

[MegaBanjaluka]

I meant MAGNIFICENT!!!

[MegaBanjaluka]

I am still wiping tears of laughter away as I type. Utterly MAGNIFICANT!!!

[gottalovetheganja420]

"Isn't Norway a strange shape" LMFAO best question ever

[sumo227]

TOBOGGAN.....



[Helena74]

"ETON!...I SAW YOU, I KNOW YOU, I TOLD YOU I KNOW YOU!"

[TheManInBlack2003]

@Helena74 lmao

[Sozlled]

Morocco!!

[Mansonchick11]

5 hours later and I'm STILL watching Billy Connolly videos. Lol

[Blackjack1145]

Excellent Bill!



[WelshLightBulb]

wheres part 1 gone?????

[Sozlled]

@WelshLightBulb Its there in suggestions hey fucking blocked it! BASTARDS

[wahaya2]

The guy in the story is right. Norway is a VERY odd shape.... XD

[Miskabearbvb]

I know you!

[vinceharrisky]

What is the JCB he mentions?

[DLPBurke]

@vinceharrisky Google is your friend.

[animagus1]

@vinceharrisky JCB is a company that is renown for making diggers and other plant equipment.

[CONOR1861]

tobogganist...fuck me

[JimReaper24]

the more he repeats something, the harder i laugh

[CONOR1861]

inst Norway the weirdest shape

[scumtan]

Anyone know which one it is?

[pissdrunk1988]

@scumtan Its from his 2 night stand dvd...

[scumtan]

I used to have this on dvd and love it, have been trying to remeber what dvd it was for ages.

[1984LizardKing]

@scumtan its glasgow 94 im sure.

[BananaBurton]

Great stuff. But one thing I didn't quite get was "and that's the difference between them and us..."

Who's "us"? I mean he's a comedian/storyteller... Nothing wrong with whatever people choose as a career. I was just curious since I like his story telling.

[reman81]

@BananaBurton them--the filthy rich

us- common people(lower-middle class)

See part 1 and the whole story with the pub about the rich-poor.

And since Billy grew up in a working class family, he considers himself one of us.. even though he's now filthy rich ;p

[BananaBurton]

@reman81 I see, thanks. I know I'm probably reading too much into this, but isn't he technically one of "them" now then? A rich stand up comedian isn't exactly lower working class or common in any way, lol. But, in my opinion, it doesn't matter how rich you are or which career choices you've made if you're a frickin a-hole. It all comes down to personality. And from what I've seen, Billy Connolly has got that covered! :p

[DLPBurke]

@BananaBurton he means the posh toffs and ordinary citizens.

[Copper4head]

"Isn't Norway a strange shape?"

[MrPhilStowers]

What a masterful storyteller! God Bless Billy.

[jeff32584]

I actually measeured it now after hearing this about norway

[TheBCtranceboy]

VERY NICE!

[electrostatic1]

Not true, The border of France and Spain. Google Earth says so.

1100 miles

[Smallpotato1965]

@electrostatic1 He probably used an atlas (this being before internet). Maps are notoriously distorted. This happens when you try to represent the globe on a flat surface.

[electrostatic1]

@Smallpotato1965 Ya, I checked again with a Mercator projection and it goes to Morocco. On a globe, though, it goes to Andorra.

[05005051]

I SOMEHOW manage to keep a straight face for the most part of it, but "is Norway a strange shape?" gets me every time. Everything that follows is equally bizarre and hilarious.

[mattouli]

Norway is indeed a rather strange shape! lol

[RosesofWillows]

this is still my favorite B.C bit. ^_^

[yokhana]

hahahahaha!!!! I know you,... I do, I do know you

[JordanKyle1000]

Meh ne meh ne meh ghastly nightmare i do i know you!

[letshaveadingdong]

"DON'T YOU LIKE THE GOODIES, AREN'T THEY GOOD, AREN'T THE GOODIES GOOD???"

[Phoenix1664]

Mr Mcclafferty! LOL

[cwpo1973]

Quintessential Billy Connolly. Awesome.

[Draakur]

"Keeps his toboggan lovely"

[samuself]

christ i hate it when people ruin the punch line in the comments....never helps when ITS THE TOP RATED FUCKING COMMENT :P

[ravizoid]

@samuself So let me get this straight... You open this page, the video starts and... you start reading the comments? What? Do you drive a Volvo by any chance?

[aodgabelogan]

@samuself That's why i NEVER read the comments until i've seen the video.

[RosesofWillows]

@samuself well, it's not like i expected it to happen! i was just telling my story. :(

[IBekeI]

Eeeehm...Hang on a minute, I have to see Mr McClafferty about that...

[halfdogderek]

Tobaggon

[Mykidrm]

Morocco!! 

[CapitalBhoy78]

"I wanna be a tobogganist"

"Away and fucking work,get off yer lazy arse,lying aboot"

PRICELESS

[MiiSSBRiiGHTSiiDE]

The bit where he snoerted set me of :))

[72zz72]

The Greatest, Funniest Joke/Storyteller EVER :-) A GENIUS

[knotinn]

Billy, you are a comic genius! 

[OtakuViking]

NIMM, MENIIM!!!

I know you, I do, I know you.

GHASTLY!

NIMM! MENIMM NIMMM!

I know you, I do! I know you!

[Wooodygun]

thanks!

[chouslop15]

must be 4 Tobaccobist's out there then lol 

[DieNarbe]

Always makes me laugh - "Write döwn Tobaccobist!"

[psychoddemon]

Fricking hilarious! Funniest comedian of all time!

[billyconnearly]

The fuckin' best....never got any better than this.....just amazing!!!!!!!!!!!

[voyagerlover1000]

@oxmiisskrysxo

Thanks

[ROBERTFLETT]

mnning mnigning , I know you

[voyagerlover1000]

Anyone know what show that's from?

[oxmiisskrysxo]

@voyagerlover1000 Billy Connolly Two Night Stand

[thumbelinathighs]

When Billy says "I know you" he sounds like Brian Bodonde!!

[johnjosmith42]

The funniest man that has ever lived. He must be... please, anybody, tell me otherwise, I'd love to watch then: make a list people... tell me I'm wrong, I'd love to be wrong. Billy: thanks for all the laughs. Big Yan. x

[UltimateStaffyLover]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....PISSING MYSELF!

[m16Effect]

its fucin..its june, maybe thats why hes signing on lol!

[billyconnearly]

This is BILLY at his very best - retelling a TRUE story!! Not only does he take us on a guided tour of his Christmas Day - he also transports us to the Serengeti Plain for "afters!" He "becomes" both a Lion and, even more hilariously, a Wildebeest! Beyond and above every "comedian" from the last 50 years!

[darkforcecus]

That itch in the head....i've never laughed so hard in my life!!!

We've all been there, and i love it

[Quirks20]

Norway - Where would it land - Superb comedy at it's best - Itch in the head!!! Can't stop laughing....... LEGEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Jorsalfar]

OMG IM GONNA GET A HEART ATTACK!!ROFLMAO

[chrissieravi]

You are a one-off, legend, superstar hero!!!!!!!!!!

[ROCK1NNROLL1N]

3 ppl are middle class polo necks

[mrmojohasrisen]

3 people think norway is a strange shape

[CapitalBhoy78]

FUCKING LOVE YOU BILLY CONNOLLY,I AM A CELTIC FAN TOO AND QUITE SIMPLY YOU AT YOUR PRIME WAS THE FUCKING BEST COMEDIAN WHO EVER LIVED BAR NONE!!!!!!!!

LOVE CARLIN,PRYOR AND HICKS BUT THEY WERE 3 INTELLIGENT FOLKS WHEREAS THE BIG YIN WAS AND IS JUST SO FUCKING FUNNY,LOVE YOU BC =D

[Sophaayx]

@CapitalBhoy78 whats bein a celtic fan got to do with it haha

[StGoric]

3 people are beige-ists

[craigdavidhalsall]

Does anyone know what tour this is from?

[CaroKawaii]

@ScottieWallace I want to see him on Dancing with the Stars...LOL, remember when he does Celtic Dancing..?

[SokioPhalanx]

@ScottieWallace

Fuck off.

[ScottieWallace]

@SokioPhalanx what? do you have tourettes? whats your problem and who shit on your cornflakes thismorning?

[SokioPhalanx]

@ScottieWallace

We should be having a petition to end that waste of space pish kind of TV. Seriously, don't promote that shit, and I'm pretty sure Billy Connolly wouldn't ever go into one of those mind-numbing, bane-on-society shows.

[coco5005]

SOOOOOO love it! 

[ICE420]

Just fantastic .

[FulchesterUnited]

Saw the man live in Saskatoon on Thursday just gone - every bit as funny as I expected. Absolute legend.

[Orcman22]

@FulchesterUnited Wish I could afford the tickets for Toronto!

[cathphelps]

I have been at that dinner, several times, but unfortunately was too young to understand how lucky I was. In fact my stepfather was the man of the norway queston. Utterly charming, batty, walked from England across the Pyrenees into prefranco Spain in the 1930s, you had to be posh to do that. I miss him.

[sketchguy2006]

@cathphelps Bit of a challenge making it off England on foot, isn't it?

[pissdrunk1988]

@cathphelps What was his name?

[gyrlsrule]

phnsss!...shit,somebody press pause......my sphincter!...my sphincter!.....AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!­. Too late.........

[ProtestantIRA]

@gyrlsrule shit yourself laughin so hard did ya? lol

[odensmeadhorn]

This is my go to video when I need a laugh.

[GeorgesBarras]

Working class, pub crack - fuckin love it.

[neillyboy1975]

Utter class the best of Billy Connolly. 

[PeterL571]

Lol the 3 people that don't like this video are tobacconists

[RosesofWillows]

We have a world map hung on our family room wall. Using some sting, i measured the length of Norway tip to tip. I carefully marked where the string touched the southern tip with a green pen. Then, with the mark still aligned at the southern tip of Norway, i stretched the measurement toward Moracco.

Now, does Norway have the size to reach Moracco? "Holy S@#T, it does!"

For actually testing this, I died a little inside.....but i'm still alive enough to still post this... :P

[SFXJohn]

@RosesofWillows ROFL now thats funny

[RosesofWillows]

@SFXJohn I still think today that was the best use of our world map. LOL The rest of the time we shoot suction darts at it. xD

i just hope i'm not the only person in the world who actually tested the theory.

[odensmeadhorn]

i just shit myself laughing.... hahahahahaha I would give my left nut to be at that dinner.

[motyomeid]

@odensmeadhorn oh aye ,that'll be a brest from since i'm born nutless

[Scottishwowplayer02]

isnt norway a strange shape? XD

[tashpish]

nanaynummm!!! nananuanum mumunanaynaum!!!!!!!

[billyconnearly]

I wish I'd been asked "Isn't Norway a strange shape" I would have said "NO-It's Norway-Shaped" of course it is!!

[iscay666]

"I know you!!" lmao

[MarkDavidRaford]

Seriously the stuff that occurs in this mans life is a gift for him as a comedian! And his ability to tell a story and make every little part of it absolutely hysterical is unbelieveable!

[mand0790]

Incredibly funny, and yes Norway is a strange shape.

[akkirit31]

@mand0790 Hey, I live in norway!! ....and I gotta agree :P

[neifader]

@akkirit31

i live there too! :D

[mightywhite41]

Billy's the best,was in hysterics watching this..His story telling and timing are superb..A true stand up comedian

[steeshlad]

oh man billy is the best.

"hang on a minute, i'll have to see Mr. Mclaferty abou' that"

i lost it all after that bit. '"Tobogganist yi' say?" "aye..." "....fuck me"

[pointyraccoon]

"oh its wonderful...they arrive on a bicycle...and the three of them in the bike....and they fell down a hole HAHAHAHAH"

fuckin pissed myself!!!

[StickyyWinklee]

1.42 - 1.46

the lion from The Wizard of Oz ?

xD

[scurvyoleary]

ah know you...

[Alcagaur]

I heard, many years after I saw them, that Ronnie Corbett's monologues were intended as an exercise in procrastination, to avoid the punchline of a joke without utterly alienating the audience. Unfortunately, they always bored me rigid, but here, as so often, Billy shows how its done. If, as the lyrics for "Bugsy Malone" declare, "good friends do tend to make you smile", Billy is a friend to mankind at large.

[mrmagic1989]

Im going to fucking burst iam after stoping for a minute iam gone light headed from laughing..on with the rest of it :)

[jkzl1008]

Nope - I think he's wrong. It looks more like Tunisia.

I cannot believe I looked felt compelled to look at Google Maps for that...

[KnifyX]

Norway isnt that strange of a shape... :(

[STABBERBALBOA]

i do i do i doooooooooo know you

[Monkeynuts502]

Oh man, when I first saw him, I laughed so hard I almost threw up. I love his comedy, one of a kind.

[mario25000]

He is the best. I have all his shows on DVD, never get tired of watching him....

[ercvstr]

Incredible. He has a gift that rivals the greatest stand up comedians of all time.

[Velcan]

I love Norway:D

Can anyone tell me which show this exerpt is from?

[madmackem73]

@Velcan it's from "two night stand" and this part is from the second concert on there

[Velcan]

@madmackem73 Cheers for that cant wait to watch all of it:D

[Velcan]

@madmackem73 Cheers for that cant wait to watch all of it:D

[tubeshan]

Brilliant!

[Mosparx78]

Aye, that be it... write doon, "Tobacconist".

[4lm4pN]

@Mosparx78 You mean T O B O G G A N I S T right ? - cause thats what Billy said. A toboggan is a simple type of sledge that has fuck all to do with tobacco.

[KingOfTheKill10001]

@4lm4pN You are a fucking dumbass. He said Tobacconist after he said Tobogganist, that was the whole joke.

[vacherno3]

Connolly makes me laugh so much its unreal lol

[RosesofWillows]

@vacherno3

true that!!

[ODeagh]

Tobogan ?

[connorchapman1]

scottish sledge

[ODeagh]

got it, thx

[wolfspiret395]

"isnt norway a strainge shape?" ROFL

i was drinking a can of coke and it came out my nose xD as well as when the woman hits the table making chicken favoured rain XD LMAO

[Shindai]

@wolfspiret395 that must have tickled lol it made me laugh out loud too

[TheAmethystSkies]

@wolfspiret395 Bless you!!!! xD Funnier if you already know what shape Norway is!!! LOL!!!!

[wolfspiret395]

@TheAmethystSkies oh wow lol XD it IS a strainge shape

[Myownpickle]

@wolfspiret395 I don't know how you could drink anything watching Mr. Connolly, he's far too funny.

[dreamtheatrekikass]

lol 6:18

[andyroll91]

the "i know you" voice reminds me too much of john cleese xD

[thehighlandsarealive]

The Scottish Soul, Complete with Arasitos. And It is the Pain that Seats the Man withing the Cuckold's Nest. But Beware Those that Think it Is Jelinek's Phase. For the Only things that mean to be the Class of WWI, the Great War, Or the Last. Beware, Says Billy. Cos Their the Fucking Best! --- Poem, by Arthur Scargill.

[taxus76]

No props, no make-up, no costumes, no sound effects - but a whole magical, mad world created on stage. Genius.

[KelliculusRex]

"isn't Norway a strange shape?"

I snoted cordial out my nose when he said that, there are so many other funnier bits but thats the one that got me, lol

[rushcuttermusic]

Rushcutter

[choppermattoc]

Isnt norway a strange shape? LOL

[SiliconBong]

Always wondered whether Billy was almost about to say 'ghastly' instead of 'wonderful', at 4,04.

[ChristopherMelotti]

@SiliconBong Haha actually I think he was! Never noticed it. Cause he is putting on the same voice as the woman telling "Ghastly nightmare"

Love Billy!

[SiliconBong]

I love Billy too.

He has done a world tour of both our countries.

[mymsil]

mneh...mnehhh..nemmmng...It´s when u have that itch in the middle of your head...u need to make sounds so the area aroud it vibrates...

I lost it when he said that..

[Hellborndelux]

I absolutely lost my shit when he said Mr. Mclaferty.

[Mosparx78]

I have to watch this each Christmas to get into the Christmas Spirit! :-D

[SiliconBong]

You're Beautiful :)

Happy New Year.

[ococlaire]

1:30..what a brilliant way to describe that feeling..know what he's talking about? lol

[Torontogirl49]

God I misspelled this, Get off your lazy ass, laying abooot! What a scream.

Has he got it with him? Has he got a woolly hat?

Love you Billy

[Torontogirl49]

Get off your lazy! Laying aboot.  What at scream.

Thanks.

[Fitzgilbert]

Sweet Jesus, i think i cracked a rib.

[squizzlest]

Which DVD is this from?

[stumpynadge]

2 Night Stand.

[PopeKurt]

I love long jokes that have such an odd punch line: 15 mins to learn that the difference between rich and poor is that being a tobogganist is natural for the rich.

[XionsDruid]

I think Billy is best when he's telling stories. :-)

[Atheistborn]

Ah Billy I love ya!

[LunocTheMystery]

Norway...made my day. I will now want to be a smart ass and use it on someone. Billy is my favorite comedian, whenever I'm having fucking horrible day, Billy turns it upside down like Norway and makes it fucking hilarious! XD

[HinataLover4Ever]

Lunoc, I know you... I know I know you... I know you... Also thanks for being a smart ass and using that on ME. ^-^

[freekicking85]

"put down tobacconist"

lol

[britishleylandcrap]

I love Billy's incredulous look at 3:43. Just says it all. Would I have fucking gone there ? :P

[MrSilentsigh]

welll funny

[westofdashannon]

he'd got an itch in the very centre of his head! thats classic.

im irish and we have the best comedians, except for billy connoly. long live king billy