Its difficult to believe that we are all about chemicals and that our nervous system (which includes our brain) is a bunch of electro chemically run neurons. Depression IS chemical, so no one with it should feel guilty for having it. It IS a real illness. Continue with the therapy and medications and have faith that progress however slow IS progress. Also depressives are often intelligent people who see the world for what it really IS rather than through rosy spectacles. Keep up the struggle xxx
Sometimes all you can do is just take it one minute at a time. It's okay to feel your feelings and talk about what you are feeling. I know that self harming is a way to sometimes feel or not to feel (I used to be a cutter) however really try to focus on finding other healthy ways of coping with what you are feeling on the inside. Don't let the 2 year date panick you. Give yourself the credit you deserve and know that you are worth it. Give yourself permission to love and care about you.
Please be strong!!!!! You are not alone!!! You are such a sweet girl.... I wish I could help anyhow, even I am not my strongest roght now! Please be strong! We are gonna make it! HUUUGGGGSSSSSS
You are nice sexy girl I would hug u and make u happy, but I'm probably like thousands of kilometers away. but I give u virtual hug, nice lady! :)) life is a gift, there are enormous powers within a man, powers that would astonish him if put in to action. only imagine what u can do before leaving this world. only imagine!!
hon its makes total sense that your thinking and feeling these things when the anniversary is coming up. please try to do at least one nice thing for you when you read this comment, we care very much, use to self injure so much, so we understand.
I don't know your whole situation but it is entirely possible to have suicidal ideation with no real intent to follow through that is more of a repetitive intrusive thought, obsessive disorder. You may have chronic undertreated depression as well and just an overall bad serotonin profile. Self injuring can be a natural urge that relieves the dysphoria by temporarily changing neurochemistry.
Sorry to hear you're doing worse. Hang in there!
yea ive been dealing with this for awhile now. i have been diagnosed (one of dxd) depression. thanks for the comment. its natural for sure! thanks for the comment.
You young lady are amazing and dont even see it. You reached out when you made this video and communicated what is going on even though you know it isnt positive, Im so proud of you. NOW CALL ME SOMETIME! Please! HUGS xoxoxo We love and miss you!
i hope you are doing better since you posted this video.. i know it is hard "not" to do things. i watch your videos from time to time, I just don't comment often. we love you and care about you.. be proud of that 2 year anniversary! (but at the same time, go if you Have to go)
things are looking up and will get better in the next few months.. starting school again, but going through bankruptcy. i think this summer it will all ease up :)
Heya sweetie :) My arm looks just like yours ... I know how hard it is to keep going every day. Stay strong and I'll send some positive vibes to you! HUGS :)
You have to be doing something right to stay out of the hospital for so long. And the cutting you are reverting back to am old coping skill that worked instead of using your new ones. And sometimes you need to go to the hospital for the safety and the groups. Safe wishes to you. life is worth living know matter what our suffering.
its tough to see it that way. especially when it gets harder. hard to see the good. yea 2 yrs has been a long time & i just want to keep it that way. *hugs* thanks for the comment!
I know how tempting the urge to self-harm is, even if you don't intend anything serious from it. The best way through this ordeal is with a strong network, a dedicated physician, and compatible meds. Mind you, I used to be of the mind "I don't want to have to take a pill to be normal," but this type of condition is physical, just like hypertension or arthritis; it's the unlearned masses who insist "it's all in your head." Much support to you!!!
Hey girl I'm thinking of you. You know how to get a hold of me if need be. Please be safe. I LOVE the picture on the wall! :) You are good enough. You ARE good enough. I'm sorry the cutting is still a problem. Hey, we all try to sabotage ourselves when we seem to be succeeding. It's natural. Just hang in there girl! Lots of love and safe hugs your way.
Its difficult to believe that we are all about chemicals and that our nervous system (which includes our brain) is a bunch of electro chemically run neurons. Depression IS chemical, so no one with it should feel guilty for having it. It IS a real illness. Continue with the therapy and medications and have faith that progress however slow IS progress. Also depressives are often intelligent people who see the world for what it really IS rather than through rosy spectacles. Keep up the struggle xxx
julesrobert21 2 years ago
Sometimes all you can do is just take it one minute at a time. It's okay to feel your feelings and talk about what you are feeling. I know that self harming is a way to sometimes feel or not to feel (I used to be a cutter) however really try to focus on finding other healthy ways of coping with what you are feeling on the inside. Don't let the 2 year date panick you. Give yourself the credit you deserve and know that you are worth it. Give yourself permission to love and care about you.
PolarB36 2 years ago
Please just take it day by day... even hour by hour if it helps.
The night time is always the worse- sometime minutes feel like hours and hours like entire weeks especially when you are feeling low.
RoseBugb 3 years ago
Please be strong!!!!! You are not alone!!! You are such a sweet girl.... I wish I could help anyhow, even I am not my strongest roght now! Please be strong! We are gonna make it! HUUUGGGGSSSSSS
annaskydiver 3 years ago
hi sweetie, i have blp disorder, keep using your skills u r strong and u can do it.
sweetdarlingab 3 years ago
thank you! =)
jesmalu 3 years ago
You are nice sexy girl I would hug u and make u happy, but I'm probably like thousands of kilometers away. but I give u virtual hug, nice lady! :)) life is a gift, there are enormous powers within a man, powers that would astonish him if put in to action. only imagine what u can do before leaving this world. only imagine!!
jkesil 3 years ago
sorry you feel so bad
=[
OInvisibleO 3 years ago
oh jesmalu hold on girl.cheer up we here on utube love you and care about you .please try not to hurt yourself.lots of hugs to you.peace,love mary
justherewatching 3 years ago
Sweetie, it makes total sense. But be strong hun.
xoxo
Fran
FranFromBrazil 3 years ago
hon its makes total sense that your thinking and feeling these things when the anniversary is coming up. please try to do at least one nice thing for you when you read this comment, we care very much, use to self injure so much, so we understand.
bjscrowd 3 years ago
Just a couple of thoughts.
I don't know your whole situation but it is entirely possible to have suicidal ideation with no real intent to follow through that is more of a repetitive intrusive thought, obsessive disorder. You may have chronic undertreated depression as well and just an overall bad serotonin profile. Self injuring can be a natural urge that relieves the dysphoria by temporarily changing neurochemistry.
Sorry to hear you're doing worse. Hang in there!
^Baph^
Baph666omet 3 years ago
yea ive been dealing with this for awhile now. i have been diagnosed (one of dxd) depression. thanks for the comment. its natural for sure! thanks for the comment.
jesmalu 3 years ago
You young lady are amazing and dont even see it. You reached out when you made this video and communicated what is going on even though you know it isnt positive, Im so proud of you. NOW CALL ME SOMETIME! Please! HUGS xoxoxo We love and miss you!
WackaDoodleFreeZone 3 years ago
peggy! i miss you too! *hugs* ill call ya sometime soon. how are you?
jesmalu 3 years ago
i hope you are doing better since you posted this video.. i know it is hard "not" to do things. i watch your videos from time to time, I just don't comment often. we love you and care about you.. be proud of that 2 year anniversary! (but at the same time, go if you Have to go)
usedtobe803 3 years ago
thank you *hugs* how are ya doing?
jesmalu 3 years ago
things are looking up and will get better in the next few months.. starting school again, but going through bankruptcy. i think this summer it will all ease up :)
usedtobe803 3 years ago
i forgot to hug you back, so i'll give you Extra hugs.. ***HUGGGGGGGGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!***
usedtobe803 3 years ago
Its always good to see your vids. I dont like to see you upset but its none of my business.
jon2xu 3 years ago
Heya sweetie :) My arm looks just like yours ... I know how hard it is to keep going every day. Stay strong and I'll send some positive vibes to you! HUGS :)
AngeliaChanel 3 years ago
do you get mad at yourself for having scars? (if you have any) thank you for the comment!
jesmalu 3 years ago
yes I always get mad at myself for the damn scars :( but in the moment I dont give a crap and cut anyway. BLAH!!
AngeliaChanel 3 years ago
jesmalu, I know Idont know you and its weird for me to say it but"hugs"
jon2xu 3 years ago
thank you for the hugs!=)
jesmalu 3 years ago
we know how you feel and hope you get better soon
The Crew
wolfofdarkness27 3 years ago
thank you! =)
jesmalu 3 years ago
We're all rooting for you and want you to do your best. Keep finding safe outlets. Hang in there.
Lindsay
Rh1no1 3 years ago
thanks for the comment!
jesmalu 3 years ago
You have to be doing something right to stay out of the hospital for so long. And the cutting you are reverting back to am old coping skill that worked instead of using your new ones. And sometimes you need to go to the hospital for the safety and the groups. Safe wishes to you. life is worth living know matter what our suffering.
Gir1interrupted 3 years ago
its tough to see it that way. especially when it gets harder. hard to see the good. yea 2 yrs has been a long time & i just want to keep it that way. *hugs* thanks for the comment!
jesmalu 3 years ago
I know how tempting the urge to self-harm is, even if you don't intend anything serious from it. The best way through this ordeal is with a strong network, a dedicated physician, and compatible meds. Mind you, I used to be of the mind "I don't want to have to take a pill to be normal," but this type of condition is physical, just like hypertension or arthritis; it's the unlearned masses who insist "it's all in your head." Much support to you!!!
keen14you 3 years ago
yea, we have a good therapist ...but at times i feel like i am wasting his time. other times...i do pretty well. thanks *hugs*
jesmalu 3 years ago
Hey there... *safe hugs* I was going thru similar struggles a couple of weeks ago.
Can you do some artwork of some kind to keep your hands and mind busy?
You can always IM or PM me if you need someone to talk to.
*one more safe hug*
thesoothingsurf 3 years ago
yea ive been trying to keep up with art & distract myself. its been tough for a lot of people *hugs* thanks for taking time to watch!
jesmalu 3 years ago
Hey girl I'm thinking of you. You know how to get a hold of me if need be. Please be safe. I LOVE the picture on the wall! :) You are good enough. You ARE good enough. I'm sorry the cutting is still a problem. Hey, we all try to sabotage ourselves when we seem to be succeeding. It's natural. Just hang in there girl! Lots of love and safe hugs your way.
Tim
UpDownMostly 3 years ago
thanks tim! thanks for being here!
jesmalu 3 years ago