She said no pre-marital Sex. How do I proceed?

[Odakufilms]

I would dump her.

[IwanAcleverUtubeName]

con't 2 particular man has no idea what he's looking for or what he's getting himself into. And to that I'll add for the guys, do not decided to be celibate for a woman. You just won't make it, lol. You truly have to know if both of your moral compasses are compatible. If celibacy isn't something you'd do alone, feelings for that woman is not going to be enough to carry you. You have absolutely every right to choose and not be vilified for it.

[IwanAcleverUtubeName]

Observing her life was the best advice you can give that young man. In that observation though, he should not expect perfection. As a celibate woman, I've found that in some cases men expect me to have bible verses memorized, an extensive gospel collection, and attend church everyday, as if that's what guarantees validity in my spiritual journey (big difference between being spiritual and being religious). In that cases, that makes my decision making easier because it would be obvious that

[Geenius24]

does avenuerants have a youtube account, or is it just Gen-x??

[Mary2020VA]

This is a stupid video. It's not B.S. for a woman to decide not to giver herself away for free. This woman figured out that she was just being used. I do not engage in pre-marital sex, and I've never had sex. It's not about playing games, it's about having values.

BW need to keep their legs closed until marriage. There's already too many abandoned children in the black community.

[murozman]

@Mary2020VA If a girl is a virgin I can respect and accept that.

If she is not a virgin and she does not want to have sex, I'll break it off. This may sound bad but it has to do with my past. When I was younger I faced a lot of rejection and games from girls I cared about. If a girl doesn't want sex, I cannot possibly know if she actually is attracted to me and not just stringing me along. There is just no benefit in taking an emotional risk when I can get something more certain.

[Mary2020VA]

@murozman I'm happy to hear that more black women are refraining from opening their legs. Every time a woman sleeps with a man, she gives away a part of her soul. This secular society promotes sex as a 'fun activity' to engage in, when in fact, it's really intended as a mind, body and soul connection between husband and wife.

I'm willing to bet that if she ended up pregnant, you'd be the first one to leave. Thank goodness more bw are waking up.

[murozman]

@Mary2020VA You are wrong about me leaving a girl because she's pregnant. I don't view sex as a game. I don't have sex unless I have strong feelings for someone and we have a real connection. I believe in love. I believe in soul mates. Also, I never have unprotected sex and I take measures to avoid unwanted pregnancy like not finishing inside her even with the condom etc. I just want to know the woman is actually attracted to me and we are sexually compatible.

[murozman]

@Mary2020VA Not everyone believes in the no sex before marriage thing and if you do I respect that. I personally don't. To me if I'm seeing someone and we are not having sex it's not really a romantic/sexual relationship, it's more like a friendship. It's hard for me to fall in love and view the girl in that way. I don't want a woman to be with me just because she finds me to be a good marriage prospect. I want her to desire me.

[Mokurentate]

Give up the pussy = condemned to life of loneliness?

[jlawre1]

"for me, i'm like naw.. i'm not with all that" LOL. i feel you my dude. great vids

[willia3r]

I read this article by the Business Insider: "This Young Woman Scored $1,200 A Month In Fancy Dinners Using Match.com".

It speaks about women in New York city using Match.com to basically fleeced unsuspecting men out of their hard-earned cash for free dinners(for the women, that is). Yep, that's good ol' fashion traditional dating for ya.

Nowadays, it's just another way for the modern female to pull that puritan celibacy crap & still make out big in free dinners. American dating sucks.

[willia3r]

We older brothas in our late 20s to early 30s find ourselves in the position of having to continually school new generations of black men every so often what America's game is truly about. We have to walk around a bottle of red pills to shock these brothas mentally into the true reality of this world.

[willia3r]

I find it amazing that these conversations are still taking place even after all these years that brothas on youtube have talking about this stuff. There are still naive brothas coming of age at 16-21 years who have been bamboozled by the feminist/puritanical madness.

These brothas are still coming into the adult-age feeling like something is wrong but not knowing what it is even as they still entertain the dating madness in America. It just shows that black parenting these days is lacking.

[zenith2070]

well good luck to him but make sure he knows once married after the glamour runs out i think the cut off the pussy then whats the point lol just kidding but really whats the point

[dantej32]

No pre marital sex? GOOD FOR HER. If he wants sex, go buy pussy. wait to get married and then stay true to her.

[lonelysoul2003]

@dantej32 IT'S CALLED CHEATING

[dantej32]

@lonelysoul2003 Only if he does it when they are married. After marriage it is COMPLETE monogamy. It is not cheating because he is not having sex with her. It is cheating if her is sexing her and another.

[lonelysoul2003]

@dantej32 OK WHATEVER U SAY BUT IT'S HARD FOR ME TO DIGEST CUZ I COME FROM A PLACE WHERE THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS SEX OUT OF WEDLOCK SO IF I'M ENGAGED TO A GUY WHO JUSTIFIES THIS BEHAVIOUR JUST CUZ WE R NOT MARRIED YET THEN SOMETHING IS WRONG HERE!!!

[SetApartBeauty]

@dantej32 So you think that it's perfectly ok for a man to have sex with another woman or women, even though he's in a relationship with a woman who desires to wait until marriage? Where's the commitment? Or is it only a commitment when sex is involved?

[dantej32]

@SetApartBeauty Sex is a Physical act. A commitment comes from the heart. After marriage she is the only one. Where is the commitment? The commitment IS marriage.

[SetApartBeauty]

@dantej32 Very interesting. So basically a commitment only begins when the marriage license is signed, but not before despite the fact that the two were in a relationship and intended to marry, right? If this is so, I'm wondering if you were in this situation, would you tell the woman that you're in a relationship with and planning to marry that you're having sex with other women? Or would you keep that information to yourself?

[dantej32]

@SetApartBeauty Why should she be told? As many women like to say, I don't see a ring on my finger. You want a TOTAL commitment, MARRY ME. After marriage I am you soul, mind and BODY. My body has needs. You with hold it, get it elsewhere. If there is a relationship with a plan to marry, then make love if there is a commitment

[SetApartBeauty]

@dantej32 Why shouldn’t she be told if she believes she’s in a relationship? You say you have needs but you would have known upfront that she was waiting until marriage so why get involved only to sex other women?

I don’t get how this concept makes sense to men. I’ve actually been in this situation and the guy knew I was waiting but thought it was ok to sex other chicks even though we were 2gether. I found out and he gave me the same reasoning you did and told me not to trip :-/

[dantej32]

@SetApartBeauty He told you not to trip because he loves you. Men and women think differently generally speaking. A woman believes that if a man has sex with another woman that he does not love her. That is not true. Because if it comes to a choice whether to sex a chick or go to the one you love, he is going to his love. When you kiss the one you love and the man gets aroused, he respected you to not to push sex with you. A man will masturbate only so much.

[JoeAllenIsMusic]

It's bad when someone tries to hold a particular person to a standard that doesn't apply to the majority of people in their past. And that doesn't apply to self.

[atolliver91]

simple ...who respects who, we live in a society with out tradition...if all he want is sex then he doesn't need to marry anything, p.e. you are ranting time to tune out,on you...

[pinkkelephant]

@atolliver91

no one said this all about sex. once again, selective hearing.

[nukeman444]

@pinkkelephant What's up Pink. atolliver91 missed the whole point and I see exactly what you're getting at. It is, in fact a ploy, and these women especially the ones with children ought sit down and do what they were doing before. I think it's all about fairness.

[sumopub]

Dumb that bitch!

[mpenny226]

Some women had that 'sex as an everyday component' mentality but then they mature and decide to take a different path. Celibacy is something that most women need to engage in. Just like women use witholding sex as part of a game but sex can be used the same way. Pinkk it is not fair to judge someone based on the last relationship. You don't want that. I do agree that you have to make sure that it's not a 'game' but if you observe her...you'll know if she is that type of person.

[mpenny226]

The bottom line is...if he is not the type of guy that wants to participate in celibacy then move on to the next chick.  Period.

[MrWorldbefree]

I co sign

[EandA23]

Yep and the worse part some of these women have kids and want to be born again virgins. LOL I don't play games why should I pay for anything until were married?

[greycloud24]

@EandA23 exactly man exactly. women use sex as a weapon, and they are trying to force you into marriage. but you won't know if you will like the sex, and you will already be committed in a marriage. well that is fine, but as a guy i couldn't take that risk. in order to keep things equal you would have to do something like not discuss finances. it keeps her in the dark like she is keeping you in the dark.

[chessloser28]

Yeah the good man has to wait. Screw that, she would give it up to the bad boy in a heart beat. If she is a virgin then that is a different story. If not, I would leave.

[willia3r]

@chessloser28

I agree.

Too many women in this country try to pull the switcheroo, date a thug/pretty-boy type when they were young & then try to pull the innocent church-girl routine with a regular-hardworking dude. It's even worse in the black community since sistas culturally don't recognize potential mates at a young age due to 3rd world habits from segregation.

I would demand that she gets a physical by the doctor to ensure that her hymen is still intact. Otherwise it's no deal.

[blueBlackpurple]

Women I applaud any of you who decide not to have sex until you are married, and it does not matter to me what your reasons are. If a man can't respect you or love you without taking you to bed first then he needs to find another woman who will put out or maybe pay for a prostitute if all he is looking for is sex.

[blueBlackpurple]

As a man who does not believe in pre-marital sex, I would love to find a woman who believed in waiting to get married before engaging in sexual intercourse. I may be a little old fashion, but I don't believe in men and women laying together until they are married. If more people followed that we may have less out of wed lock births, STD's, and broken hearts. Sex is not a game or a sport, and it should be treated as an expression of love between a man and wife.

[pinkkelephant]

@blueBlackpurple

I definitely here where you are coming from.

[greycloud24]

@blueBlackpurple i respect your right to abstain from sex, but i don't think that you should be judging those who do not try to live your lifestyle. sex can be a game and a sport to some people, and if they want to turn sex into that it is ok. sex is an enjoyable act that we are biologically programmed to desire. if you want to make sex an act of love, you can, but you can also make it a game and a sport.

[blueBlackpurple]

PinkkElephant, have you stopped to think that because he is a decent guy she might want to make sure she does things right with him? The other guys that she had sex with were probably not guys she was looking to have a relationships with or if she was they were not looking to be in a serious relationship with her. This guy she is with now may be the person she really likes and respects, and she does not want to mess that up like she may have in the past.

[pinkkelephant]

@blueBlackpurple

If we are in a committed relationship that is clear to the both of us, sex wont mess that up. Sex outside of the mutually exclusive, beneficial and recognize relationships is what causes problems.

[HungryNinja360]

@blueBlackpurple it doesnt make sense for a woman to act one way and then when she meets the guy of her dreams to switch up and act like she is good girl when her lifestyle illustrates otherwise. men want consistency when it comes to women. we want the same privileges that the last guy had

[reignsupreme]

@HungryNinja360 Thank you, you summed it up right there.

[HungryNinja360]

@reignsupreme you welcome

[dantej32]

@HungryNinja360 Maybe this particular woman has reasons for no premarital sex. Personally I do not care WTF she did with the last guy because she would be with ME now. Let the past stay in the past. She wants to live a life that may suit her better.

[dbrown251]

I've been in that same situation before where the girl wanted to be celibate til marriage. She explained that she wanted to live a religious and spiritual life "now". I couldn't handle it and had to let her go on her seperate way. She was a really good catch and we were very compatible together but the no sex stuff was a deal breaker for me.

[willia3r]

@dbrown251

I don't blame you. It's not as if getting sex after marriage will all of a sudden mae you immortal and free from all disease and disorders that exist in the world.

I really hate how women in this country abuse traditional religious puritanism when it comes to sex with certain men(the good guys), but will demand total feministic equality everywhere else. It's this cultural mindset that is totally turning men off to the notion of marriage, even moreso in the black community.