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From: timhawkinscomedy
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  • INTERVENE!!!!!

    

  • LMBOOOOOOOO

  • Lol! This reminds me of my church! Since we meet in the evening, we always eat before service. And our pastor always says, "Lord, bless this food the nourishment of our bodies" and we're all sitting there with a hot dog, macaroni and cheese, deviled eggs, fried chicken, and we've got a cup of soda!

  • you know, Jehovah's witnesses do NOT listen to that, they have a book of songs, 135 of them to be exact, and take their work very seriously. tim hawkins is awesome, just wrong on that

  • This makes me laugh EVERY time. I love it!!

  • lol thats true every mormon i see rides a bike in the summer

  • Comment removed

  • as soon they got to the mormon part i look up and in the top right corner there is a ad for being a mormon LOL

  • CHANGE THE CHEDO INTO A CARROT STICK ON THE WAY DOWN Haha love IT

  • you know that the mormons don't sing that song or anything like it

  • "I'll pray a hedge of protection around my pancreas!!" xD

  • Okay, I'm a Mormon and I still don't get that joke...

  • @BeccaDuctTapeLover I doubt they sing songs like that which other religious group have you seen ride bikes as they go forward to witness dressed in slacks and white dress shirts...? (btw I am not trying to be mean just help you understand a bit)

    Its something unique that Mormons do...

  • INTERVENE!!!

  • Loord bless this..... bag of chettos and this jumbo pepsi

  • SPIRIT OF LOW CARB RAIN DOWN ON ME NOW

  • Haha! I laughed at the Mormon joke, mostly because that's the kind of songs that are 'good' to listen to. Yes, I am Mormon. ;)

  • AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!! LOL!!! LOVE THIS

  • Im a christain, &proud to be one.!

  • LMAO!  I do that when i eat stuff....i figure he COULD do it....LOL

  • I hate jahovas witnesses so much...

  • How dare you.

  • @HopeinJesusLuv oh im sorry! That was inappropriate! I am so sorry!

  • @HopeinJesusLuv whats wrong?

  • i think this is better than homeschool family

  • "Father, change the molecular structure of this food!"

  • "spirit of low carb RAIN DOWN ON ME NOW!!!" hahahah XD

  • i want to ride my bicycle!!!!!

  • Just, just, father, father, just, just, father, father

  • I think who ever saids that prayer is drunk

  • I'm laughing so hard I can't even type! :D

  • It called laugher

  • i don't get it.

    ...any of it.

  • i did that over buffalo wings the other day, don't let me gain weight from this food lol

  • Hedge of protection around my pancreas right now? Rofl!!!!! 

  • "Father, change the molecular structure of this food..." YES, I've totally done this- lol!

  • Intervene!

  • And a song for satanists... buy a Led Zeppelin album...

  • i don't get the Mormon one some one help me out

  • @Jtscott18098 Mormons are often seen riding bicycles or walking rather than driving when they are out sharing their beliefs

  • i have a johovas witness that stalks my house and i cant get her to leave

  • @wolfgirl22221 Tell her you are Jewish. According to Mormon doctrine Jews cannot be saved.

  • @1567Fud

    Um, no. The "Mormon doctrine" doesn't teach that any group of people is un-save-able. Sorry.

  • @wolfgirl22221 find out where she lives and then knock on her door EVERY day and try to preach to her. Who knows, she might get saved, but at the very least, she wont bother you anymore.

  • i was feeling sad for no rezon but when i wacht this and i felt happy :)

  • LOL theres no way this dude is in his 40s....lol XDD

  • LOL

    Great comedy

  • lmao i love 1:15-2:07

    "Father change the molecular structure of this food..."

    "Spirit of low carb RAIN DOWN ON ME NOW!!!!..."

  • So whenever I have a bad day, I watch Tim Hawkins videos....cheers me up fast!

  • i don't get the bicycle thing??? haha can someone explain please? d:

  • @redvinesron mormons are known for riding bicycles everywhere

  • @redvinesron Mormon's ride bycycles

  • @redvinesron Yeah, Mormons go door to door in twos wearing ties, name tags and riding bicycles...the song is "Bicycle? by Queen- from the 70s.

  • Im a Morman, and I think this guy is hilarious. LOL

  • @ikinessi Tim Hawkins transcends denominations and religions in general, he is just plain HILARIOUS!!!

  • HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA SO TRUE!!!

  • That was the BEST two choices for Jehovah Witnesses and Mormons... made my life haha.

  • spirit of low carb RAIN DOWN ON ME NOW!!!!!

    INTERVENE!!!!!

  • very,very,very,very,very funny!

  • INTERVENE!!!! xD

  • INTERVENE!!!

  • Too Funny! Need a good laugh? Are you dieting?

  • I have totally re-enacted that junk food prayer at my local pizza place before with my Jesus friends in place of "grace."

  • the people who dislike this are either jehova witness or mormon

  • @MICMS true

  • I met up with a bunch of Mormons recently and ironically, they were singing to the song "I Want to Ride My Bike"... xD It reminded me of this

  • He IS a Christian.

  • spirit of low-carb RAIN DOWN ON ME NOW! lol!!

  • "INTERVENE!!!!" :P

  • @975Dani He's not making fun of God. And God does have a sense of humor.

  • @975Dani I think you are forgetting that God ha a sense of humor. He knows how to laugh. Why would he give humans the incredible ability to laugh at ourselves without him being able to do it himself?

  • @yourcriptanite Tim isn't serious about it anyway...he is so funny!

  • Turn this Cheeto into a carretstick on the way down! Rolling!

  • i dont get the Mormon part

  • @seirus501

    Typically you see Mormons in groups of two and if they have a longer way to go, they'll ride bicycles.

  • hey im a jehovahs witness, this is hilarious

  • Yeah, the "bless this food to the nourishment of our bodies" line does strike me as kind of silly now that I think about it. Lord knows I've said it more than a few times!

  • @troll9555 well you laugh at us christians now but when the Lord comes and your not saved you will just burn in the lake of fire with all the other non christians

  • @HolisterSurfer - you're making cry

  • @HolisterSurfer thats a little harsh isn't it...

  • @megskin94 meh when its the truth can't say it is

  • @HolisterSurfer he is a christian, hes just trying to joke around. im pretty sure Jesus laughed in his life, so its fine to make jokes about things.

  • @Isaiah68sendme27 it all depends this guy is going far making fun of the prayer.

  • @975Dani He's not making fun of prayer. He's pointing out some of the ridiculous things say in prayer

    Clickon for my favourite Bible verse

  • omg lolz XD

  • i <3 da chick fil a song tht he duz!!! oh and pleze chek out stanktank films volley! pleze!!!

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  • I love all those songs! My favorite is Communion: Jesus....It's what for dinner.

  • Ooo mannn u r sooooooooooo funnie wear were u at my 1 b day partie lol

  • Tim is (in my opinion) the most funniest commedian (including secular commedians) I've ever had the pleasure of laughing to. Must just click with his humour I guess.

  • ya! hahaha

  • i want to ride my bicycle

  • this guy is hilarious :)

  • lololololololololololololololo­lololololololololololololololo­lololololololololololololololo­lololololololololololololololo­lololololololololololololololo­lololololololololololololololo­lololololololololololololololo­lololololololololololololololo­lololololololololololololololo­lololololololololololololololo­

  • To discourage door-to-door ministry in my neighborhood, I like to leave a few "Awakening" fliers strewn about the front of the house along with some dried blood.

    Since I've been doing that, I haven't had any "door-to-door" ministries stopping by.

  • The gospel of Jesus is not a commodity to be bought or sold, neither should any clergy eat meat by it; nor should any clergy be in control of you.

  • @mego4321

    \

    No clergy should eat meat by it?

    Wow, that aint scriptural, 1 Corinthians 9:14 (but people seldom get their ideas about Chrsitianity from scripture).

  • @anastamotic lol well sure it is scriptural Jesus said I am the good shepherd, when the wolf cometh the hireling (hired shepherd =payed clergy) fleeth because he careth not for the sheep. But it depends on which scripture you prefer. The pharisees chose to liken Jesus to a false prophet as warned of in Jeremias, but the apostles knew he was the son of God from Isaias and other prophesies, you see what you wish to see.

  • @mego4321 - Were you looking for humor? This is humor. Clean humor. Everybody needs laughter. It's healthy. All together now, "Hahaha hahaha hahaha!" Wow. I feel better.

  • i found a new favorite comedian

  • this is great

  • Man I LOVE this guy!!!!

  • If you like this guy, you have got to watch THE APOSTLES OF COMEDY and another, THOU SHALT LAUGH!!! You think you're laughin' now, well, get ready to REALLY laugh with those 2...

  • i agree! apostle of comedy is awesome! i bought their dvd the other day

  • Interveeeeeeeene!!!!!!!

    I WANT TO RIDE MY BICYCLE! IWANT TO RIDE MY BIKE! I WANT TO RIDE MY BICYCLE! I WANT TO RIDE IT WHERE I LIIIIIIIIKE! ROFL moment

  • I absolutely love this mans comedy. He is halarious. I dont think I have ever seen someone as funny as him. I cry from laughing so hard watching him. Let the cheeto transform into a carrot stick on the way down!! ROFL!!!!!!!!! Love ya Tim

  • My friends and I still do the whole "Intervene" thing sometimes. And the whole "hedge of protection" thing is something we tend to say without even thinking about it. My pastor even told me once he can't stand when people say that and then the very next Sunday he said it while he was praying. It took everything in me not to burst out laughing. :D But God has a sense of humor and you know He is up in heaven laughing at Tim Hawkins right along with us.

  • @bcary1013 you're right he does have a sense of humor, just look at guys with down syndrome

  • INTERVENE! Lol

  • Wow. I love how there is a how theological flame war going on in the comments. :) Kind of ironic...

  • @KaityxGrace no flames here. I'm not calling anyone names or getting ugly about it, I just know what I believe and I will stand up for it. But in relation to the video, I love it! I think Tim is hilarious :)

  • dont know who called you wrong but you are 100% right

  • sigh dont start please..... this guy is a comedian, laugh, no argue allowed, 'sides, human hands wrote the bible, not even they had any idea what God was trying to do, theres no way in hell or heaven that yall do, XD laugh it up peepz

  • change the cheetoh into a carrot stick on the way down. lol

  • I WANT TO RIDE MY BICYCLE I WANT TO RIDE MY BIKE lol

  • :D LOL

  • "INTERVENE!!" Lol...That made my day...

  • Mine too :) So funny!

  • did you see the ihop one? it;s hilarious! :D

  • check out hedge of protection...so funny...

  • Hedge of protection xD lolz

  • Turn this cheeto into a carrot on the way down!!lol.this guy is hilarious!!

  • Great comments on the food blessing!

  • i love this guy !!

  • ''SPIRIT OF LOW CARB RAIN DOWN ON ME NOW!!'' roflmbo

  • INTERVENE!!!

  • If you don't like what he says don't watch the videos! No one is forcing you! Good Lord!

  • The intentions comment was to ellie7706. Read below.

    I agree he is not being malicious.

  • For the record, I do find this video funny. My point in my comment was to encourage a little bit of research beforehand.

  • I didn't say he wasn't funny or making fun of my religion, in fact I said the opposite. HOWEVER, being educated wouldn't hurt any skit in the near future. Just a side note, I never stated my religion.

    As a Christian, that means you follow Jesus' teachings right? Like going out and sharing the message of salvation with those who have not known of Gods mercy. Through research, thats why Mormon's and Jehovah's Witnesses knock on doors. Therefore, right or wrong, their heart intentions are pure.

  • Hey, I appreciate what you're saying...about Mormon's and Jehovah's Witnesses having right intentions...but satire about other religions is used in the bible. Elijah told the Prophets of Baal (who were trying to honor their gods--with 'pure intentions') to set up an altar and say a prayer to see if their gods would ignite the altar. When they did and nothing happened, he joked by saying, "Maybe he's taking a nap..." ng malicious.

  • My point is this, he mocks what is false. I know what you're saying, but I don't think he's being malicious

  • somehow make this nourish us in some way! lol

  • i love tim hawkins he came to my church just a few months ago! it was so cool

  • he's not making fun of your religion, sweetheart. (btw, that's a cool username) but he's making fun of what you guys do by knocking at our doors CONSTANTLY! you should talk to your church about that. it's really annoying. i AM a christian, and that's how i'm gonna stay.

  • "Lord, bless this bag of Cheeots and this jumbo Dr. Pepper! Somehow make it nourishing in some way....Spirit of Low Carb, raain down on me now!" LOLOLOL!

  • sweetheart, people make fun of religion, Jehovah's Witness people knock on your door, and Mormons ride bikes. 'nuff said.

  • yes, you are funny.

    but please do research before any other videos are made about a few religions that you dont seem to know much about.

  • Sweetheart, as a LDS/Mormon I can say...This guy is FUNNY! LOL!

  • Spirt Of Low Carb reign down on me now!! LOve It!! <3 <3

  • INTERVENE! xD

  • OMG!!!! That was just awesome, but wrong! haha

  • this is so funny!

  • "Lord bless this.......bag of cheetos, and this jumbo dr. pepper somehow make this nurish us in some way" "Change the cheeto into a carrot stick on the way down, SPIRIT OF LOW CARB REIGN DOWN ON ME NOW!"

  • now my new thing is I WANT TO RIDE MY BICYCLE I WANT TO RIDE MY BIKE!, or I WANT TO RIDE MY LAWNMOWER I WANT TO RIDE MY MOWER!

  • okay, i got a joke. One day, i was at church and the priest started coming around and giving each person in there a chance to say a prayer. there are about 300 people in that church, but thats not the point. anyway, it was my turn and i said dear lord, give mercy upon my soul for i have sinned, and i could hear a faint voice say "never". that day, i actually ran out of a church sreaming bloody murder. thats it...... don't make fun of me im only 12

     - ali

  • Now... I believe God can do anything... but praying for nourishment from a meal like that would be a little beyond my faith.

  • How many eternal parts of God are there, one, three, or a million? I tend to like big numbers myself, falling in the camp with the Hindu's and gnostics. That could very well put the parts of God in everyone and everything, an interesting thought. The people who like one god in one part can side with the Moslems, and the Jewish religion. The number three just seems limiting and arbitrary, a bit comedic compared to the others, but you have to be prepared to laugh at yourself - hence Mr. Hawkins.

  • The 'bless the food' part is really funny. Someone finally said what we should all be thinking.

  • doodlesdoll, Morms believe the way Efesios2v8 stated, not the way you said it. You're own words don't leave room for God the Father as 'our Creator'. Everone knows Jesus didn't create the Father, it was the other way around. So why should it be any different with us? Doodlesdoll said it very eloquantly with relationships if you know who 'our Creator' is. Not a trick question, but I guess it was. I won't pick too much, I'm an athiest myself, but just interested in the language of communication.

  • God the Father did not create Jesus Christ, neither did any of the Trinity create each other- all three parts of God have coexisted for infinity past, and coexist for all of time

  • Mormons believe that God the father, God the Son and the Holy Ghost are three separate entities and that man is literally created in God's image.  Jesus Christ is the Son of God and Christ created the earth under the direction of his father.

  • They got the truth there - it's exactly what Jesus said and talked about

  • "I and the Father are ONE." John 10:30 Ring any bells, musicalcat7? Or are you one of those who doesnt believe the book of John is true?

  • Of course I do. In fact the entire book of John speaks clearly of who Jesus is. I have HUNDREDS of scriptures proving the trinity is a lie. I can't list them all here but if you give me your e-mail I will send all of them to you. There is limited characters so I can only give you a few here: "This is life eternal, that they might know Thee, the ONLY TRUE GOD, AND Jesus Christ, whom Thou hast sent" (John 17:3).

  • One thing at a time. First off I don't give out my email to random internet strangers (feel fre to YT message me with these 'hundreds of scriptures'). But I'm still waiting for you to explain away the fact that he equates Himself with the father in John 10:25-30.

  • You're right about the fact that John speaks clearly about wh Jesus is: it says "In the begining was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word WAS God. And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us" (John 1:1-2)

    Who became flesh and dwelt among us? The Word or in other words, Jesus. It says the Word WAS God.

  • "There is ONE GOD, AND one mediator between God and men, the MAN Christ Jesus" (1 Tim. 2:5).

    "There is but ONE GOD, the Father, of Whom are all things, AND one Lord Jesus Christ, by whom are all things) (1 Cor. 8:6).

    "This is life eternal, that they might know Thee, the ONLY TRUE GOD, AND Jesus Christ, whom Thou hast sent" (John 17:3).

    "I can of mine own self do nothing. I seek not mine own will, but the will of the Father Which hath sent me" (John 5:30).

  • ok so you do understand there is a 3 in one type of thing going on right? like there are 3 seprate people, jesus, god and the holy spirit. god is the father jesus came to earth and died and the holy spirit fills us. its like 3 people from the same company, they have 3 diffrent names but all do the same thing right? just trying to give you an example you can wrap your head around. you say the trinity is a lie... you called it a trinity whats such a lie about it? e-mail me if you like about it

  • "My Father is GREATER THAN I" (John 14:28). This is Jesus speaking. It is perfectly understandable in the light of the scriptural picture that Jesus was a man wholly dependent upon God. But how can it be fitted into the Trinity picture? Let us not run from these clear testimonies, but reverently ponder them, seeking guidance in truth.

  • Check below - There are so many more scriptures that clearly state the Jesus is the SON of God not God the Father Himself. Chrsit came down for a purpose and H is sitted at thr RIGHT HAND OF God - Now how can He be God the Father if He is sitted at the right hand of the Father? This is common sense. Chrsti mad it very clear in John who He is - Son of God. He is the likeness fo the Father that is what he meant - just as we are like our parents

  • "It is written, Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and Him only shalt thou serve."

    "Hear; O Israel, the Lord our God is ONE LORD." Jesus Christ worshipped and served the ONE TRUE GOD.

    "Whosoever speaketh a word against the Son of Man, it SHALL be forgiven him: but whosoever speaketh against the Holy Spirit, it shall NOT be forgiven him" (Matt. 12-32).

  • @musicalcat7 None of the passages you mentioned disprove the Trinity. God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit are different entities with different roles, but Divine power and Glory is present in all three of them. They are three in one; GOD is all of them at once. Its by no means an easy concept to grasp, but it is in fact the reality.

    (look for part two)

  • @musicalcat7 (Part two) This is why Jesus can say I AND the Father are ONE Even though He speaks of them separately; He equates Himself and His power with God the Father, because they are both God. Ill show you this simple verse again: In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word WAS God. And the Word became FLESH and DWELT AMONG US. (John 1:1-2)

  • Ok wow, I think this is too humorous a venue for such a serious discussion about what constitutes a Christian.

  • Just to make it clear, Christian is a very broad term. Catholicism is a form of Christianity. When arguing these points one needs to be more precise with terms.

  • Efesios2v8 - That's exactly what Mormons believe about Jesus Christ. He died for our sins and is the only way to have Salvation and eternal life. We strive to have a personal relationship with our Savior, and worship only him. He is our creator, our redeemer and our Lord.

  • This guy is great!!! FYI - Mormons are Christian!

  • Sorry, Im not trying to hate. But unless Mormons believe Jesus Christ is the only way to salvation, because he as the son of God died and rose again to pay for our sins and allow us to have a personal relationship with our Creator, then they are not Christians. Like I said, if they believe that, they are Christians, if not, they are not.