The Physique of the Christ

[darkchicho666]

Donde puedo ver este video en español? mi ingles no es bueno =(

[autonomous2010]

Since when did Jesus become Scottish?

[offplanetfilms]

@autonomous2010 ...Ever since the "Lost tribe of Israel" was suggested to have ended up in Scotland!

[candykid021]

That is not what Jesus does

[offplanetfilms]

@candykid021 ...Jesus was more into swords (at least that's what he said!) Carpenters are TOUGH!

[Exiemus]

Blaspheme

[offplanetfilms]

@Exiemus ...Don't say that too loud... some deity may thump you! ;)

[GetAmpedDude]

I died 42 times cause i was bored to death and survived

[VirtualAutonomy]

3:15 haha!

[Helmer2]

So that´s how the samaritan prophet [Jesus/Joshua] looked like. I heard that some badass roman bikers beheaded him on mount Gerizim in the beginning of the 30's modern time. I think they were called "The Choppers".

[klootzak37]

he's too muscular

[offplanetfilms]

@klootzak37 ...perhaps that's like, ...the point?

[D3w10n]

You guys made Jesus look like a badass and not girly little emo... BTW when Jesus started to strangle Death, Death looked like a fly from your TFF torture videos :D

[HaistaPaska92]

Gimme some Nine Inch Nails /,,/

[KrazyKacophony]

This is brilliant. :)

[Chymczuk1]

lmaoo "don't write that down!"

people need to lighten up lol

[UchihaSasukeMadruga]

They mistook Christ with Hercules

[fidza323]

it is...ACCOMPLISHED!!!

[mow111]

Not sure why I clicked on this, except that I'm a fan of muscle.  It's discnocerting however that nothing is saced nowadays... I'm not understanding why the producers of this found it necessary to "go there". Any religion should be off base.

[offplanetfilms]

@mow111 ...my main belief is that if you can't laugh at something, it isn't worth taking seriously either!

[00D00]

@mow111 No religion is off base, they're not special.

[cockeyedproductions]

@mow111 I can't process this comment. Why ought any topic of discussion be "off base" for general introspection and social commentary? What is "sacred" to one person is absolutely laughable superstituous garbage to another. Not to say respect, and "live and let live" isn't a good philosophy to run your life by, but come on now...

[RussianBear5OOO]

he gets bigger and bigger throughout the film, very well done

[fatsachs]

Be informed, Jesus will out bench, out squat and out row you any day! You are a mere peasant before the physique of the Christ!

[kilkolio]

well its true christ was strong due to being a carpenter and he wasnt a wimp

[Durantch]

Nie lubię jak ktos się nabija z mojej wiary, ale tutaj nawet ja się miejscami uśmiałem powiedzmy ze to retorystyka jest.

[offplanetfilms]

@Durantch ..about a quarter past eleven.

[SkwerlBergamot]

i would believe he' was buff

but the humour in this i felt was lacking, and it wasn't like christian animosity for it

it just felt, lacking

[drinkmypeeatmyshit]

JIZZES CRUST..!? 8S

[titodelibero]

O.O ..OMGroin...

[FIRSTGLADI8R]

Jesus was a highlander. lools

[vef444]

Amusing. Christ si really undestructible. So the God is a spoiled child who likes to play?

[jdemetra1]

2:15 wat was that

[offplanetfilms]

@jdemetra1 ...Ancient Roman dental-work utensils!

[schootingstarr]

bwahahah

i seriously lol'd

not the lol you write to say that somethings funny but the actual loughing out loud! xD

so cool

[ItalianWarrior777]

blasphemy?

[offplanetfilms]

@ItalianWarrior777 ..Comedy!

[seanbro33]

@ItalianWarrior777 very.... O_O

[majesticdragoon]

@ItalianWarrior777

nothing wrong with it

nor blasphemy

[cell5508]

sounds like demo from tf2

[WumWip]

Jesus wasn't Irish..

[offplanetfilms]

@WumWip ...Neither does he have in this cartoon,... it's a Scottish accent!

[WumWip]

@offplanetfilms

Oh... my bad. It still liked the his voice though. Gave him a whole new edge. LOL

You gonna make more of these?

[offplanetfilms]

@WumWip ...We may do one day... we have a mini sequel planned. Takes a lot of effort to do this particular stuff well though (considering the miserable views it gets, we may just move onto something else.)

[WumWip]

@offplanetfilms

Oh I see... Well, this whole cardboard animation stuff is pretty cool... I've animated with the paint program before, and it's not at all easy, nor does the final outcome look pretty, but hey, everyone's a critic. LOL

[DEXISWOLF]

@offplanetfilms i thought he sounded like billy conneley

[Ravengaurd6]

Read the description before watching!

[UltramanTiga333]

(in the last Supper)

Jesus:One of you will Betray me

Judas: Umm,you might wanna take some of these "Steroids" to prepare for what you just said.

[Monkeyshex]

Tortures for Jesus No.1

[offplanetfilms]

@Monkeyshex YIKES! ...I hadn't thought of it like that!

[saigondj]

Masterpiece

[Pahjx]

alot of those guys at 0:46 are Doctor Who's!

[offplanetfilms]

@Pahjx ...Very well spotted! ...We inteded them to be all Doctor Who's (past & future)

[chuchito0]

YOURR NOT MY UNCLE!!

[NeedWarForPeace]

whats with the accent?

[offplanetfilms]

@NeedWarForPeace ...Some actually believe that the "Lost Tribe of Israel" ended up in Scotland (Hence the accent!) 

[GustavoOliveiraTLWPB]

lmao

[ganpula]

love the blue hair! he dyed for our sins?

[offplanetfilms]

@ganpula ...I ever thought of that, but I think you're right!

[gator159]

hey look glasses. pain addiction. 

[eduandresillo]

nice jesus

[fatboybozo]

Like the highlander reference, THAT WAS FUCKING AWESOME

[camme77]

one of the greatest fuckin' thing i ever seen

[offplanetfilms]

@camme77 ...now there is a comment I'm REALLY proud of!

[camme77]

@offplanetfilms it's like LOBO-CHRIST !! simon bisley could not do it better,animation it's cool and drawing too,simple and genial, i love ipertrophic character mixed whit violence and comedy,GOOD JOB MAN !!!

[camme77]

@offplanetfilms it's like LOBO/CHRIST, simply awsome

[GroddGuerrilla]

Jesus is Scottish and God is a faggot. It all makes sense now!

[lehemoone]

If Jesus really was like that...

I'm converted.

[offplanetfilms]

@lehemoone ...I'd be too darn scared not to! ...Imagine copping that headlock in the afterlife!

[werdofilms]

isn't that the priest from doo town?

[offplanetfilms]

@werdofilms Absolutely! (well spotted)

[offplanetfilms]

@werdofilms He's also in our "Dracenstein" and "Merry Mithras" short films as well.

[quadplyr13]

Being as out landish and as psyched up as it may seem,HE DID die for our sins, HE DID take those painful punishments, HE DID defeat death, and beat out sin, there is NO sin, greater than his power/forgiveness....

[offplanetfilms]

@quadplyr13 ...and a hell of a lot of people have since needlessly died in his name too!

[indianbiker777]

offplanetfilms sux!!!!

[offplanetfilms]

@indianbiker777 Almost half as much as that sad indianbiker guy!

[BassBoomBang]

great job!

[paulhoyosm]

Doesn't matter what all people said about this video! It's so funny!

[paulhoyosm]

Doesn't matter what all people said about this video! It's so funny!

[ashleyfableblack]

Frealin' hilarious. Love it!

[iloveamerica007]

ive never seen something so blasphemous in my life

[offplanetfilms]

@iloveamerica007

Christ on his Throne, NO!

[believersunderground]

that was lol funny. srcew the money changers nwo World bank . hehehe Scott (BUG)

[rookis25]

Fuk jesus

[offplanetfilms]

But i'm not that was inclined (He'd need to be a gurl!)

[indianbiker777]

@rookis25 F you!!!

[metal87power]

stupid

[offplanetfilms]

Shhh... keep it quiet! You're revealing too much about yourself...

"Inappropriate self-disclosure" is a DSMV symptom!

[RobinsVoyage]

Very creative and well produced.

[Adastra14]

"give me some nine inch nails!"

yeah! :D

[offplanetfilms]

...It brings you "Closer" to gawd!

[maxc16]

i lolled

[LNERfan]

Now THIS is a good interpretation of Jesus's death!

[offplanetfilms]

This reason we made this film was to demonstrate that ALL cinematic versions of Deities are merely inaccurate interpretations by filmmakers. I also believe that absolutely anything in this world (or any world), should be strong enough to withstand humor. If something cannot be laughed at, it cannot be taken seriously. (Because it is afraid of the exposure of its flaws.)

[raxe30]

Imagine if that was all true..... I would so be a priest.

[coolfreund2]

@raxe30 It is true,

[bigdelicious90]

It's not very christian like to be cursing so much. so quit your bitching about how "disrespectful" this video is.

[offplanetfilms]

What would God do with an eternal soul who can't even spell "religion"? ...I guess you'll just get allocated a job doing the garbage rounds in heaven. ...or perhaps pumping Gas into clouds? Your crude language is certainly good enough to pump some color into rainbows.

[bigdelicious90]

dude, relax!!! Learn to laugh.  if u don't like it, why are u bitching and watching it????

[emil2796]

@9826374428 but its ok to disrespect ones sexuality? Offplanetfilms: BEST DISS EVER :D

[kefka46tx]

Jesus is a badass!!

[wildmanftl]

This is wrong in so many ways but I like it!

[offplanetfilms]

...that would make a great hook-line for a song! (seriously)

[southpaw816]

It actually s a hook linein a song I wrote!!!!! about that special night at church camp.........

[offplanetfilms]

...I think it sounds like a suitable hook-line in an anthem for my lifestory!

[punished4honesty]

I'm Christian and I love it. I keep watching it over and over. So many great lines.

Put some young man into it!

Made into a feature film it would be hilarious.

Which it is.

Gerard Butler as Jesus.

[offplanetfilms]

I think you've suggested the perfect casting! ...I've followed his career since he played Dracula/Judas in "Dracula 2000".

[Kasukimuki]

:D nice.

I really like it.

[warrenlaidler]

Haha, very good!

[offplanetfilms]

I guess we can't all have so much meat in our head, can we?

[luminaeus]

Hilarious :)

[BigJonMud]

very entertaining!

[sts3235]

What does it mean when he says "the body of christ"?

[offplanetfilms]

Ah, it's a Catholic thing... it's what Priest's say before they hand out bits of bread during mass.... (some kind of symbol of "the body of Christ") ... except in this case... they receive an entire LOAF !!!

[JuMp002]

it's not just catholic, it's in church of england, and the jews have a version of it from before all the other religions. personally if i went church, i'd prefer a whole loaf :P free food :D

[contentlocked99]

well bread represents his body and the wine his blood or something, thats why the loaf is gigantic

[arrysortanez]

jesus is GOD !!!! how dare you!!! who is making this is going to hell

[offplanetfilms]

Neah, its just a cartoon... if you can't laugh at a subject, it's not worth taking seriously!

If God doesn't like freethinkers, why did he make them in the first place?

[THEGODOVGODZofthe2nd]

ur an idiot god, heaven, hell, satan, jesus, non of its real u know.

oh wait, no, im wrong, i didnt realise someone could've died, gone to heaven or hell, and then came back to tell you all about it and all about the truth of jesus and god, and how there actualy the same beings, and how hell is like prison, you only spend the amount of years down there, of that you have taken away from someone in the case of murder ect.

i supose they told u everything.

sorry, my bad ; D

Dickhead.

[MrNeomaniak]

wow dude, calm down.

[ChainsawGutsFuck]

If heaven's full of norks like you I do hope i'm not going.

This animation is excellent. Turn 'tae atha cheek!

[Hammersley1967]

HOW DARE YOU!!!

[offplanetfilms]

Ah, if there's a God, ..he's got a sense of humor!

(You'd have to have one to make this place!)

[Hammersley1967]

"Ah, if there's a God, ..he's got a sense of humor"?

HE'S GOT A SENSE OF HUMOUR!!!?

THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!!!

[namodrive777]

dude lol seriously calm your ballz its just a vid and you just got a sense ofhumor

[Hammersley1967]

"sense ofhumor"

Sense of humour?

SENSE OF HUMOUR!!!?

HOW DARE YOU!!!

[namodrive777]

-____- jeez dude chill if you dont like this vid so much then dont watch it its not that hard really

[Hammersley1967]

I am a loyal and devoted soldier of Christ and I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO OUTRAGED IN ALL MY LIFE!!!

HOW VERY, VERY DARE YOU!!! (kind sir...)

[guifercon]

are you a soldier?

That means that you go to war right?

That means that you will do anything to win, right?

That means you will kill too?

Thanks for making me understand all the terror and pain the Templars make to other people.

[Hammersley1967]

@guifercon:

I WILL SLAUGHTER ANY MAN, WOMAN OR CHILD THAT DARES TO DEFILE THE NAME OF THE LORD JESUS CHRIST!!!

[offplanetfilms]

MERRY MITHRAS!!!

[Hammersley1967]

THAT IS AN OUTRAGE!!!

[guifercon]

I see... Its good to be bad if you are on the go(o)d side, right?

It's a long trip to Brazil, be prepared!

[Hammersley1967]

@guifercon:

I am so strong in my convictions that I would slay God himself if he ever dared to DEFILE THY LORD'S SACRED NAME!!!

[guifercon]

ok ok, whatever u say

(doctors recommend say yes to mad people, right?)

[Hammersley1967]

@guifercon:

At the End of Days, when I am seated at the right hand of the Lord, I will watch with glee as he RIPS THE SKIN OFF YOU AND THE REST OF THESE SALIVATING SOCIOPATH'S SINFUL BODIES AND TEARS YOUR BLASPHEMOUS TONGUES OUT AND THROWS THEM TO THE VORACIOUS HOUNDS OF HELL!!!

[guifercon]

I cant wait for this day.

oops, nothing of this will happen...

We are only ANIMALS, when we die, WE DIE...

it's a shame the "other side" dont exist... You would regret of the time you lose thinking on this shit...

close-minded fool.

My last post, so dont you cry, we cant be friends.

:-P

[Hammersley1967]

@guifercon:

I will try to temper the Lord's vengeful yet rightful wrath on your poor, tortured, immortal soul - but in all certainty you will be on your knees before us trembling and screaming woith terror as you beg for mercy...

Oh Boy!

I am going to enjoy thjis...

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

[guifercon]

couldnt resist one last thing:

STOP playing RPG, virgin.

And try to understand that youre not and templar knight.

[Hammersley1967]

@guifercon:

"And try to understand that youre not and templar knight."

I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO OUTRAGED IN ALL MY LIFE!!!

HOW VERY, VERY DARE YOU!!! (kind sir...)

[ComoYoKiera]

@guifercon yeah man thats right we are only animals, theres no god, theres no life after death. why we cant realize that

[Aslapacrosstheface]

Newsflash: You're a moron. Enjoy your pathetic pointless life.

[alkatrezs]

@Hammersley1967 ur an outrage ,lol, i believe in christ as my savior, but this is kinda funny

[DanieloPL]

looooool :D

[club4ghz]

lol taht wass cool

[alkatrezs]

lol, when a massaierrr comes along....

[DanielVonRommel]

You must Whip it!

[standmanmike]

buahahahah fuckin funny....

[MichaelWithstand]

Oh man I want to have a body like dat.

Godly

[gla2004]

very very good! loved it!

[troytroisk8]

this is bad!!!

[club4ghz]

you didnt get the point off this thats why you think that

[LeetSkat3r]

come on! i can flex these nails out!

[gaby161290]

hi mom... like my nails ? funny :)))))=)))))

[inivonwini]

Awesome!

[Necrofood]

That's a truly unique animation style.

[unholykrack69]

lol

[Cromez82]

Haha Arnold Swetchinegger as the holy ghost, fantastic lolz

[kw436]

nice vid jesus look really cool. It was also very funny. lol

[pastel7]

great stuff, straight to favorites. I hope you made a lot of money an woman out of that.

[hoagyc]

Absolutely brilliant!

Loved every single golden moment.

[mersi2140]

He'd probably cum.

[Stonedbadger]

I like it when Jesus just gets bigger, and bigger ;P

[winnipegtroll01]

jesus with saw = rofl

[SamIamb]

That was lovely. I always knew that JC had a Scottish accent. Not to nitpick, but Judas had red hair. Still, this video was just lovely.

[offplanetfilms]

We always imagined Elli Wallach from "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly" would make the perfect Judas, so thats what we ran with!

[SamIamb]

Yes, that's definitely fair enough LOLz. Nice work.

[JohnBScott86]

That was funny as hell.

[BlackDragonBE]

Great!

[aliveformyself]

send this to Mel Gibsons manager, I hate mel Gibson.5555555555555

[offplanetfilms]

I always wondered what Mel would make of this?

[lePeeg]

lmfaooo john and Yoko ;]]]]] i Lol`d at that one haha.

[offplanetfilms]

It took as a while to find the right line for Cupid, but John & Yoko fit the slot just right!

[lololeela]

This was so freakin' awesome! I'm sharing it with everyone I know.

[BigStr8Al]

This is so funny I almost wet myself!  5 stars and straight to faves!

[thecrusader2007]

that really impessed me.

not only that i almost shit my pants laughing, it is a really interesting work.

thumbs up!

[MetallicaF0REVER]

you are NOT my uncle hahahahaha this is great stuff keep it coming

[Phan77om]

that's the greater part xD

Brilliant! Especially that part when He says: "Aw Christ! You can see it, can't ya?", and then "he really is tah son of God" priceless