First Grade History Lesson

[BriefStarshine]

I am quite fond of the sound you make with your words.

[Llawliet246]

How have I not found you earlier?!

[RoxinPunch]

@Llawliet246 I hide in my own little corner of the world.

[Llawliet246]

@RoxinPunch I have officially invaded your corner. <3

[RoxinPunch]

@Llawliet246 Welcome! I've got plenty of juice box's and gummies to share!

[Llawliet246]

@RoxinPunch I actually love juice boxes and gummies. Far too much for someone my age.

[maggiehoranify]

ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm........ im in love

[RoxinPunch]

@maggiehoranify Love ya too! :D

[MrGullopolopogus]

You make my lesbianess flare up when I see you.

[RoxinPunch]

@MrGullopolopogus I am flattered. xD

[aXgirlXtoXremember]

The only thing i hold Johnny Appleseed accountable for is giving Fort Wayne, Indiana the grand idea of renaming the baseball team (originally the Wizards) the Tincaps. Tincaps. Yep... First Harry Baals, and now we're the pot-heads.

[RoxinPunch]

@aXgirlXtoXremember Oh dear. xD

[AlexHHAyes]

Columbus wasn't Spanish, he was from Genoa, in modern-day Italy. He was only funded by Spain.

[SeanSisco]

You're hair is cute as fuck in this! and let me tell you, fuck is pretty cute.

[az09456]

Columbus was from Italy...

[z0mbiearms]

SOLD.

..and by sold, I mean I'm subscribing...yeah...

[indiecoolbeans]

@roxinpunch you better believe i did, :)

[RoxinPunch]

@eatmorechicken1717 Very good! :D

[boxingtree]

You remind me of the singer from La Roux. But with shorter hair, and smarter makeup and prettier eyes and a more practical wardrobe. Sorta.

[RoxinPunch]

@boxingtree xD Thank you!

[indiecoolbeans]

right after you said "because the kitchen," I was like "...is where the bear lives." Then you said it. I just about died:D

[RoxinPunch]

@indiecoolbeans COME BACK TO LIFE! :D

[emmalikestwilight]

yes! my whole first grade experience was about johnny appleseed, and after that i never heard about him again.

[RoxinPunch]

@emmalikestwilight I know! I found it so strange!

[orpheuscorp]

Not to mention that Columbus is responsible for a number of atrocities against the Aboriginal population.

But you have accurately represented history as taught in elementary schools. This makes me want to high five and facepalm at the same time. I will use a different hand for each of these endeavors.

[RoxinPunch]

@orpheuscorp The more I learn about him, the more horrible he seems to be. Why is he considered a hero?! Dx

[itsrainingpapayas]

"Meh heh heh. Tom Milsom."

My bear lives *underneath* the kitchen, actually.

[RoxinPunch]

@itsrainingpapayas I wish I had a tunnel system built underneath my kitchen...for quick escapes.

[RockTheSymphony]

LOL!

You remind me of Amanda Bynes!

and I wish my Advanced Placement History teacher taught like you!

[RoxinPunch]

@RockTheSymphony I don't think I've ever gotten that one before! Thanks! :D

[Kodocha7]

this is so amazingly accurate to my first grade experience LOL my school played johnny appleseed up do be the biggest hero america has ever seen

[MsLittleredshoes]

...Did you say Tom Milsom in the end? O_____o

[RoxinPunch]

@MsLittleredshoes Yes ma'am!

[thathoopy]

@RoxinPunch You havent seen Doctor Who?? *goes over the Doctor Who watching entry on Roxannes bucket list in sharpie and highlighter and underlines it*

[Afr0cat]

Bahahaha. "Apples. It's what's for dinner." That made me laugh.

[RoxinPunch]

@Afr0cat Thank you for watching! :D

[gagirl1231]

That evil laugh was fantastic. *applauds*

[RoxinPunch]

@gagirl1231 Am I the only one that reads that as "applesauce"? :D

[gagirl1231]

@RoxinPunch haha, probably not. n_n

[Sarahendipity]

The birthplace of Johnny Appleseed is in the town right next to mine. SUCK ON THAT, GEORGE "WOODEN NO LYING TEETH" WASHINGTON!!!

[RoxinPunch]

@Sarahendipity He will suck on that. He's quite extraordinary at sucking. He has no teeth.

[zutandmerde]

You're adorable.

Subscribed. :D

[RoxinPunch]

@zutandmerde Well thank you! :D

[The0R4NG3]

Thumbnail win!

[RoxinPunch]

@The0R4NG3 *fist pump*

[wishinuwerewithme]

also christopher columbus was preceded by,not only the Native Americans that lived here, but also the vikings......SUCK IT Spain!!!! (that's where columbus was from)

[RoxinPunch]

@wishinuwerewithme By golly gee. Good job. 

[K3LLYRI0T]

you are so great.

[icydyno]

Roxinpunch are you from florida or indiana i heard you say indiana to what the buck and corn lots of corn in indiana but you are goimg to work at disney also what park there i want to see you it would be so cool!!!!

[RoxinPunch]

@icydyno Punctuation is cool too! :D From Indy. Moving to Florida. I'm gonna miss the desolate cornfields of the winter time...what a shame. xD

[icydyno]

@RoxinPunch that is awesome i was born in indiana , but i moved to Fl when i was like 3

[RoxinPunch]

@bluespringwater :D

[Fall4Virtue]

Hoe Snaps... I hate the fact that your 100 percent correct but I dont remember the summoning of woodland creatures. Maybe I skipped school that day to hang with my good friend Phillip. yes he is invisible, since people dont wana be my friend. *cough*

[rockyrigby]

You remind me soo much of my English teacher.

[RoxinPunch]

@rockyrigby Is that a good thing? :D

[thathoopy]

@RoxinPunch Its yours, youngling.

PS,

Also, its a planet. From Doctor Who. Except its Raxacoricofallapatorius instead of Roxacoricofallapatorius. Get it? Get it? Yeah, you get it.

[RoxinPunch]

@thathoopy YES. Aaaahhh! I feel so lost in this world without having seen Doctor Who. *adds to bucket list*

[hardworker424]

What about the lie that Columbus discovered America when a viking named Leif Ericsson discovered it?

[RoxinPunch]

@hardworker424 YES. So true! The fact that the Vikings were here way before anyone else was in my original script, but I had to cut it out.

[hardworker424]

@RoxinPunch As long as you know it. The real people who discovered it are the ones who came over on the ice bridge between Alaska and Russia thousands of years ago.

[RoxinPunch]

@hardworker424 Me gusta!

[Voldey]

American history is a lot more interesting than Canadian history :/

[RoxinPunch]

@Voldey What about the story of Laura Secord? She hid on the belly of a cow to escape the evil Americans! :D That sounds pretty interesting.

[savethelastbook]

I think this was made all the more awesome by the musical choice for the background. So funny!

[RoxinPunch]

@savethelastbook Thank you! :D

[everydaykidinus]

i hav a history test 2day i bet @ least on 1 essay question i will put "George Washington went around chopping cherry trees and saying things like 'I have wooden teeth and i can not lie''' ohhh middle school

[RoxinPunch]

@everydaykidinus xD As long as the remainder of the essay is nicely rounded out with the truth, then I have no problem imagining this to be hilarious. :D

[HighKingTurgon]

Roxanne, your hair and your mind are extra-beautiful today. This one will be shared with my children.

[RoxinPunch]

@HighKingTurgon Awe! You're so sweet! Thank you so much! <3

[RoboFillet]

I can't think of anything in particular that I was taught that turned out to be wrong. That's kind of worrying actually; I know my teachers weren't THAT good!

And ugh can we just elope already?

[RoxinPunch]

@RoboFillet LAWL You would't want to marry me. If you feed me after midnight HORRIBLE things happen.

[spoinkchick93]

Beautiful.

[mnapier74]

And penguins are woodland creatures...

[RoxinPunch]

@mnapier74 YES. :D It was either that or a Furby. Which one would you have believed in more?

[go1711]

We learned that you can't start a sentence with 'and' and 'because.

[RoxinPunch]

@go1711 Because that's what THE MAN wants us to think. And he wants to keep us down. I'll construct my sentences in whatever way I please, thank you very much! :D

[8thWeekday]

Sign up for a partnership! and vlogbrothers woo!!!!!!

[RoxinPunch]

@8thWeekday I did! I haven't heard anything yet, so I'll see how that goes! And YES. WOOOO! :D Wooo. Indeed.

[TheFiggy82]

your better than meekakitty lol

battle of the RED HEADS!!!

[RoxinPunch]

@TheFiggy82 Meekakitty's videos were some of the first youtube videos I ever watched outside of Fullmetal Alchemist AMV's. I don't think I'd have the heart to battle her. <3

[TheFiggy82]

@RoxinPunch lol. I love both you guys. You guys have really fun and refreshing personalities. and i'm also a huge fan of red headed people hahahaha! (like shaun white)

[thathoopy]

I think that your nickname should be Roxacoricofallapatorius.

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaa!

Well..I thought it was funny.

[RoxinPunch]

@thathoopy O.o So much yesness. It's like a hybrid between a magical spell in the world of Harry Potter and some sort of bad ass dinosaur. I want it.

[xxjudasxxx]

acctually my first grade teacher tought me that they thought the earth was flat...where al the Greeks stuff come from?

[RoxinPunch]

@xxjudasxxx Aristotle and Eratosthenes were important to the theory of the spherical earth. Aristotle observed that the earth was round by observing the stars. Eratosthenes was the first to calculate the circumference of the earth. They were both Greek. Due to their findings, it was widely accepted that the earth was spherical around the time of Christopher Columbus.

[kingsbury96]

Tom Milsom :D

[RoxinPunch]

@kingsbury96 :D

[xxjudasxxx]

Christopher Columbus was Italian (not english) and he claimed America in the name of Spain Crown.(not England) Thats why most contries in American Continent (North, Central, South America and the carebean speaks Spanish except USA, Canada, Brazil and some other island in the carebean.

He first claimed La Espanola know now as Dominican Republic, then Puerto Rico and Cuba.

[RoxinPunch]

@xxjudasxxx Very nice! Though as a first grader I was under the impression that anything across the Atlantic ocean was England. Nothing against my teachers, I just hadn't figured it out yet. I thought it would be cute to put in the video, but I never corrected it. I'd hate to perpetuate the learning of lies. So I hope you don't mind if I put your comment in the doobly doo?

[FrannyLuvsAll]

Did anyone else learn how to make "Johnny cakes" and apple butter in elementary school? Or is that just us New England kids?

Also on the list of "great" American heroes: Paul Bunyan and his blue ox, Babe (early 20th century advertising genius) & Davy "King of the Wild Frontier" Crockett.

[RoxinPunch]

@FrannyLuvsAll Oooh! I didn't think of Davy Crockett! Also, I have vague memories of apple butter placed here and there throughout my childhood. I think we might have!

[hpobsessed21]

This is amazing!! I hade that elementary schools insist on teaching children half-truths or outright lies. A first grader's brain can handle it, you just have to have faith in them!!

[RoxinPunch]

@hpobsessed21 I hate that grown ups generally don't give kids credit for how smart they really are. Also, thank you! :D

[ihearttheplanet]

as a scottish person i have to ask "wtf?"

[RoxinPunch]

@ihearttheplanet xD Come back next week for a RoxinPunch video that's not quite so isolating to my non American viewers!

[HelloFutureKari]

Apparently I'm related to "Johnny Appleseed" ...or so my grandmother believes. And my other Grandmother is set on us being related to Joseph Smith (the Mormon prophet) although she has no proof....

Does that make me an apple loving palygamist? 'cause that would be awesome!

[SPRxGreenMilexChick]

i think three people were blinded by her inteligence and clicked the wrong button. xP

[JonnyComstockscool]

I'd have you as my teacher anyday :D

[RoxinPunch]

@JonnyComstockscool At work, there is this pie filling made by the Comstock company. Every time I pass it, I say "Jonny Comstocks Cool!" under my breath. I thought you should know. :D

[TheMissingSignal]

This video scares me. I hate thinking that so many things that I learned as a child are only lies and stories. Pokemon are real dammit!

[RoxinPunch]

@TheMissingSignal Hahahah! Do have any idea how hard I laughed when I read this?! DO YOU?! *brushes rubble off of computer keyboard* My house fell apart around me. That's right...I'm coming to Chicago to live with you.

[funkymonkey11179]

your hair is really pretty in this video.

No wait...scratch that.

YOU'RE really pretty in this video.

Just saying.

[RoxinPunch]

@funkymonkey11179 You're absolutely sweet! Thank you so much! :)

[thesunsetshere]

Waiiit.. Johnny Appleseed didn't have a pot? YOU RUINED MY LIIIIIIFEEE

[RoxinPunch]

@thesunsetshere There, there. You want a soooda?

[thesunsetshere]

@RoxinPunch Honestly, buying me with sugar.. -snags- I mean, realy. -drinks- >.> well, it makes sense HAD he been a 'pot head' if you think about it.. =^-^=

[moscowmasha]

Oh my God, George Washington's nose is TAKING OVER HIS FACE.

I second/third/hundredth everyone else who has praised your awesomeness. I'm not sure that I have anything new to say today.

[RoxinPunch]

@moscowmasha That was plenty new to me! Also, proper use of capital letters can turn a simple fact into laugh out loud hilarity. You have mastered that skill my friend.

[moscowmasha]

@RoxinPunch

*fistpump*

I am immensely excited to hear you say that. Now I have something to check off my non-existent bucket list!

[CherryCheesyCake]

I also learned that most of the apple tree's that were planted by Johnny Appleseed were used for making cider, and by cider I mean hard cider, so yeah, Johnny Appleseed is responsible for the early alcoholics in America, or and there's also stuff like apple cider vinegar and using apple trees to mark territories and planting roots on your property, but who cares, ALCOHOL!

[MatthewAds]

Luckily, our bear lives in the freezer.

:') Classic.

I must say, American first grade sounds highly misleading.

However, I do empathise. They taught us about centrifugal force up until Year 10 Physics. No doubt believing that our fragile little minds were far too ingrained by James Bond films to be told that it was actually centripetal force, and centrifugal force didn't exist.

[losisson]

As a teacher I have to say, none of those ideas are presented to children anymore. Times have changed. Let's all move on.

[Ariamaki]

Man, it's weird, but in first grade I actually learned (mostly) the truth about the whole Columbus bit, and entirely the truth about Johnny Appleseed.

[DSQueenie]

I have to say..... im my primary school in scotland i don't remember learning much history. But one kinda lie i can think of is my primary one teacher used to spell my name with a 'u'.

[imphlatround]

TOM MILSOM 8}

yeah... ;}

[TheKyasurinChan]

AND, the pilgrims DIDN'T WEAT BUCKLES ON THEIR CLOTHES. BUCKLES HADN'T BEEN INVENTED YET! Stupid incorrect history lessons!

[Reaper911]

I wish you were my first grade teacher I'd be all giggity giggity goo

[NatalieZenaLouise]

I live in Australia; the American education system sounds silly. Love you Roxanne, it would be awesome to have you as a teacher.

[MamaDespik]

Haha, amazing. You should do more videos like this, but for like, wrong science that we were taught too.

[RoxinPunch]

@MamaDespik Like how there aren't different regions of the toungue that specialize in certain tastes? I went my whole life believing in that and then finally that lie was pulled out from underneath me in a comment to my own video. xD

[MamaDespik]

@RoxinPunch Yes, just like that! Especially that, because I didn't even know that until just now! Why would the teach us these things!?!

[skintc]

I remember learning Pluto was a planet... poor Pluto.

[lifemakesmelaf]

@skintc Yea the whole pluto not being an planet also screws up all the acronyms people have made for the order of the planet through the year ):

[MamaDespik]

@lifemakesmelaf I was going to make a "Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally" reference, but then I realized that was math, not planets. But who knows, maybe tomorrow they'll tell us that subtraction isn't a real mathematical operation!

[WhoaKaela]

All of my freshmen lvl college professors told me they were teaching me false information. They said later on I'd learn the truth, but for the time being I had to learn it a certain way so's I could understand. Needless to say I never paid attention.

[aiiirdryy]

pretty much anything i learned in my english classes.

[MrTravisJoe]

Oh Roxanne! You make my day! How've ya been? I haven't talked to you since we saw each other at Walmart! Ha

[citysnidget]

the apple trees johnny appleseed planted produced bitter apples that by and large went to the making of hard cider.

[ianswertobob]

So so true. You are SPOT ON as always. Gosh I love you. #ForSrs

[RoxinPunch]

@ianswertobob Thank you! You're so young though! Don't tie yourself down to a thing like love. BE FREE WHILE YOU CAN! xD

[everydaykidinus]

@RoxinPunch CRAP i did... 

[PossumCuber]

This video is extremely inaccurate. Chuck Norris is more important.

[RosalynMarie]

So...attractive =]

[Futuredudeman]

WAIT

PEOPLE KNEW THE EARTH WAS ROUND BEFORE COLUMBUS?!

[RoxinPunch]

@Futuredudeman DUDE. WHY AREN'T YOU DEAD YET?! I SENT AN ASSASSIN WEEKS AGO.

[Futuredudeman]

@RoxinPunch I'm a bit worried about what might happen if we ever meet. I'll be all like "Hey! I'm futuredudeman on the interne-" and that's as far as I'll get before you just dive knife-first at my neck.

[ellabooray]

Goin' to go find me some Asia!

p.s I love the drawings.

[nozombiesallowed]

Yeah and then as soon as we grown brains....

Well, that doesn't even happen some of the time.

Oh, world. Y U NO BE INTELLIGENT?

[yaharrypotter]

QUEEN POSTER FTW! <3

[RoxinPunch]

@yaharrypotter AH! MAMA MIA FIGAROOOOOH!

[elffia]

To me, history fairytales are very similar to santa claus. When I was in first grade, I told my classmates that Santa wasn't real.

I didn't have very many friends after that.

[RoxinPunch]

@elffia I was always told that if I didn't believe in Santa Claus then I wouldn't get presents. o.O To this day, I still don't understand the purpose of that threat.

Also, I didn't have many friends either, but that was because I bit someone on their shoulder. Yup. Memories...

[sophsincolour]

I've always thought that if you taught nursery kids stuff 1st years learn, and 1st years learn what 2nd years learn Ect, then people wouldn't have to stay in school for as long.

but ontopic;; was there srsly a guy who planted apple seeds? or were you just pullin' my leg?

[hmksprouse]

@sophsincolour Yes, Johnny Appleseed was real. He planted trees in Indiana, Ohio, and Illinois during the late 1700's and early 1800's. He was kind of like an early environmentalist I guess. I have no clue why he became so important or anything.

[ilyjra]

Yeah, I'm not from America, and to be honest, the first part of that sounded like it could be perfectly legitimate.

[reinix]

When I have a kid, I'm showing him/her this video the day he starts second grade. He/she'll tell other students. It will be very blasphemous.

[shessomickey]

Epic. Epic. Epic.

[RoxinPunch]

@shessomickey <3 <3 <3

[MegaAppless]

lol i knew...most of that in first grade...lol...i knew that the siberians pwned christopher..

[theonewhoeatsrocks]

I recall in Grade One being told that pollen was like food for plants, and when bees spread it around it helped them grow.

Then Grade 7 Science came along and taught me that pollen is essentially plant sperm.

[ellengearhart]

"Now I'm gonna go sail in the wrong direction and find me some Asia."

Excellent.

[sarah1oszter]

Ohhhhhh so that's how it happened! My teachers sooo screwed me over! I'm going to go have an apple and a convo with a furry woodland creature. Goodday.

[RoxinPunch]

@sarah1oszter Ah, typical day for Sarah. Whether you told me or not, I was going to assume that's what you would be doing anyway. GOSH! You're so predictable!

[sarah1oszter]

@RoxinPunch Wow I really need to swich it up...

[Ljloveit93]

omg my history teacher told us the same thing like a week ago. my outlook on life will never be the same.

[DeweyBoyOnFIRE]

Plz grow out your hair a bit longer, you would be so hawt!

[Cass7191]

My entire first grade study lessons summed up in 2.5 minutes..

[SuperCatSara]

I'm Canadian. All I have to worry about is if Quebec becomes its own country or not.

[loriersea]

This makes me feel good about homeschooling my six-year-old. At the very least, even if he's not learning much, I can keep him from having too much to unlearn.

[MTVMAS2010]

haha the funny thing is that this was pretty much how my whole 1st grade history class went.

[MsSniggity]

I LOVE YOU!

[tortugapoet]

Hank sent me thither. Just subscribed. :D

[Toygerzrock]

Win! This video was full of it. (:

[worldgnat]

It's so true. So so true.

[gameloser123]

hank green sent me here via twitter, and i'm glad!

[SirTeeGeeEss]

@gameloser123 Yay for twitter and a bigger yay for Hank.

[spbookworm]

Haha, oh, US history lessons...

Also, students somehow believe this throughout high school as well. Although, the person who said that they still believed these things was the same person who said that we clearly had cameras back in Columbus' day because we have all these history videos...

I can has proper education [and terrible LOLcat grammar]?

[emmabee11]

I learned about columbus in Primary school here in the UK but i don't remember much about it except for the part about the world being round and not flat lol, i think i was still far too logical as a kid of believe the whole magical creature summoning thing because i don't remember that part lol.

[pete275]

There ain't no berries on the trees

[HPnerdfighter]

Columbus landed on islands before getting to america and killed babies by throwing them into the ocean because they werent christian

awesome. thanks, 1st grade, for calling him a hero!

[xbellaxbrutalityx]

this was fantastic!

[randomgirl1258]

You forgot to say that babies come from the stork.