Share Your Office / Work Stories

[quest8899]

I don't work in an office I work cleaning toilets 16 hrs a day for 1 dollar an hour, 7 days a week, no benefits

[TheZenoid]

I work with great people, and couldn't ask for a better office group. However, the guy that sits across from (no cubicals) me hums, sings, whistles, and just makes noises (beatboxing maybe?). Then he grabs something crunchy from the kitchen and chomps on it like a horse, takes his coffee and slurps it loudly. At first these things didn't bother me, but now it's like working beside a kid, a parrot, or any barn animal that won't just be quiet.

[TheZenoid]

I sit on the path of traffic too, so I constantly have people walking behind me, which wouldn't bother me if I didn't feel like I constantly had someone looking over my shoulder. Sometimes people will even stop and have conversations behind or beside me while I'm trying to think. I'm not the model employee, but these little things are starting to really drive me crazy. I just want some peace and quiet.

[dudeman4756]

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[dudeman4756]

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[dmt0709]

I stopped by my office one evening and interrupted a married colleague who had brought his very young girlfriend to the office for a fling. He had moved the office manager's radio from her desk to the conference room and tuned in some mood music. As I came in the front door, I heard them scurrying back to the bathroom where they got hurriedly dressed and headed out the door. He later said he had dropped by the office with his daughter, but this was no father-daughter reunion.

[agreatpenname]

And so I have to listen to the sexual escapades of old woman with guys who are my age.... the shudders of mortification never go away and sometimes I'm too stunned to even make a hasty exit... I propose that greg gets transferred to work with old biddies that try to get into his pants ... @___@ oh the horror ...

[agreatpenname]

Over the summer in between college semesters I work in a cubicle with mind numbing work. The only time I get any human contact is during my lunch breaks because the boss patrols the area throughout the day for purposs that ellude me... In anycase when I finally get to socialize with my fellow co-workers who all happen to be 40+ year old woman I constanlty get cut off by their ungodly cougar remarks. "As long as he's over 18 it's legal" is the favorite phrase in the ranks....

[tclaxer3]

there is this guy at my work who insist on showing every one in the office his current rash and since he has terrible allergies he has one new one every week

[waynedewho]

I had a co-worker that forced me to go to a used car dealership, then dude though we were now found bothers. So now I am picturing Terry begs Greg to go shopping for a 1984 Black TransAm. Take'er easy.

[waynedewho]

That would be "...NEW found brothers"

[robseiberlich]

The guy who sat in the cubicle diagonal from me at work would clip his nails in his cube. The piercing noise was bad but what drove me nuts was he would clip his nails multiple times in the same week. Honestly, how fast were this guys nails growing and why couldnt he take care of this at home? Someone lacking the social aptitude to do this at work doesnt strike me as someone whose social calendar is so filled that he couldnt spend five minutes at home taking care of basic grooming.

[poofterchops]

True story: I work with a snotty arrogant British guy who manages a a team and thinks he's better than everyone else, however he's a compulsive nose picker who eats his own snot. He does this at his desk a great deal but he also does it in meetings with clients. The trick is to sit next to him and never across from him in meetings, that way you never have to see him doing it, but you can tell when it's happening because of the horrified looks on the faces of people sitting across from you.

[gabs416]

Here's some ideas straight from my workplace:

a new employee with a mood disorder who is always weeping and lets her personal life affect her work life and those around her;

a cock tease who gives the sexist boys a run for their hourly wage;the flatulous, burping, nosepicking co-worker who does all of those things while talking to you and wants to shake your hand or pat your back afterwards...plus, it's a scent-free zone, so you basically have to grin and bare it!

Hey -oooh!

[lilipod]

Dude, u should have an episode, where terry keeps talking shit about greg and doing pranks like day 1 day 2 and then finnally greg just snapps jumps over his desk dives on terry and beats the shit outve him.....and in the end terrys just like well are we still friends or something.

[lotofcoop]

that funny

[areetimdan]

well at my office there is a guy who tries to be like the todd off scrubs, but the thing is, he dusnt reeely understand the format of the sexual inuendo and how they work. after seeing this video i thought that mike (the guy) was perfect for the job :)

[glorpy2]

I always enjoyed the office parties around the holidays where our boss would get intoxicated. The rest of us knew better and nursed one weak drink for a couple hours. Our boss had a bit more than that and flecks of food and spittle started coming out of her mouth. I was seated next to her at the restaurant and was simply speechless.

[darkklowntim]

I find ways to get around websense and watch videos on youtube...

[washbootie]

terry always says "take her easy"

i had a co-worker always follow up on that and say "and if she's easy....take her twice!" funny, but innappropriate when said to management. and also when he said it over and over and over again. haha

[washbootie]

this is not my story, but a friend of mine. one of her co=workers in a neighboring cube had a problem with flatulence. so bad that people were complaining to management. the person told management that they just couldn't help it. it just happened. so, management's solution = have the person to spray air freshner after every time they fart. so my friend would hear random sprays of air freshner throughout the day...hahaha

[MissBubbelGumS]

oh my goodnes, i'd LOVE to see that on man in the box!!

[washbootie]

i had a co-worker that would always share too much information about herself and her boyfriend. she once told me that she loved her boyfriend because he was so comfortable with her that he could fart in front of her. she giggled and proceeded to tell me that he loves to also be naked; the two together makes for a bad combination. she makes him sit on a towel on the couch in case someting else comes out with the fart. i hate to imagine how they found out that the towel was necessary....yikes

[washbootie]

oh, and my old boss -- whenever he would come to our cubicles to talk to us, he would stand uncomfortably close to us. he would put his crotch like right up to our faces.  the worst was when he was in stealth mode and you wouldn't know he was there. you turn around and almost run your face right into his crotch. yeah....he was later fired for sexual harassment (pretty inevitable) -- he was nasty, but i have many innappropriate stories about that guy....

[washbootie]

"there are dead bugs in the light" she said and nod her head at me like i was supposed to be just as freaked out.

i didn't really know what to say...i could have said so many things...but i was just the new girl. "okay....maybe you should call maintenance and have them clean that or something?"

"yeah, maybe i'll do that" and she slowly sat back down and i heard her whispering on the phone.....

total whack job, but the scenario was fun to play out for my friends when i got home that day. haha

[washbootie]

I had just started in a new department, just settling into my new cube. The woman that sat in the cube next to me....stood up, peeked her eyes over the cube, and said, "pssssst. new girl"

I turned to her, obviously confused why she was being so secretive and peeking over the cube, "hi, how are ya?"

she stood up so i could see her. and she looked up to the ceiling. i looked up not knowing what she was trying to tell me, i looked back at her.

[chasesmity]

my coworker pretended to shoot me and walked away.

i have no clue why,

but his shirt caught on fire.

[milkyjoe57]

My previous director would pick and eat skin flakes, ear hair, scabs, etc. from his body and eat it. Not knowing what it exactly was, we called them "artifacts of exfoliation." He would do this in staff meetings and in one-on-one meetings while sitting across from you. You would see him start scratching at something and just start thinking, "Oh, God, NO!" as his hand went towards his mouth after picking off his little snack. This was usually followed up by him falling asleep.

[bng44270]

I am an IT Guy. I like to think that I am a pretty decent guy, but I know that there are some poop-faced IT people out there that constantly degrade and stupify his co-workers. Do something with that guy in a skit. Thanks. Keep up the good work.

[neutrinotau]

Like a Nick Burns for Man In The Box?

[bng44270]

Exactly.  Go to work Mike!!!

[jackolannerhead]

well well well,,,someone kept taking food from a coworkers lunch box. So the guy mixes the chocolate tab laxative "exlax" quite a bit actually, with chocolate icing and iced some cookies with it.....next day one of our coworkers doesnt show for work,day after that we hear he had been treated at urgent care for severe dehydration...hence the term shittin your brains out

[lstar28]

My ex boss was legally blind but she didn't want to admit it. She used a magnifying glass (think sherlock Holmes) to look at EVERYTHING that came by her desk and tried to hide it from me. But after a while it became obvious she was freaking blind!

The fun really started when she lost it one day and blamed me for it. Then she bought an electric one (with a light). And every time I walked in she would grab it defensively.

[zarhad]

the guys at my work wressle in the office and i practilly have to stand on my desk to avoid them, wear bullet proof vests and battons so you can imagen that things are always getting broken, suprisingly no1 has broken any bones yet.

[muu245]

In my previous job, I was constantly being called up on my days off to collect stock from other stores to collect from our stores. Normally there would be wild goose chases too because when I would get to the store, they didn't have the stock or had sold it.

It wasn't like it was on my way to work either. A lot of the time, I would have to go miles out of my way and still have to get to work on time and get no extra money or thanks for doing it.

[muu245]

Not to mention my bosses reaction if I didn't get the item because they didn't have it - boss would always blame me for it.

I wasn't the worst off though - a workmate who experienced the same deal, got a stopped for speeding one day when she was attempt to get to work on time after going 15 miles out of her way and getting stuck in roadworks on every route she took.

[reirei121]

One day a co-worker opened the fridge in the break room and found that someone had taken a shit on a paper plate and put it in there, then in one of the microwaves, and then on the HR managers desk. We called the person doing it the 'Mad Shitter'. The person who did it was the last person you thought would ever do it too. A really quiet kid who actually worked hard and was pretty friendly in a quiet way. But as they say, it's allways the quiet ones.

[donmitri]

I'm not joking about this. My old boss used to insist on having "karaoke Fridays" where he would force us to all get together at 3 oclock to sing karaoke using his crappy machine. That only lasted about two weeks but it was awful. And it was all an excuse for him to sing karaoke. Though that might be a funny one for Greg.

[kayesser]

we have a guy who is just like terry at my work who every time he is in the break room at the soda and snack machines gives everyone a play by play of what he is getting and why he is getting it. it drives us all crazy but its still funny.

[rimera13]

Ah, yes... I have one more. I worked at a McDonald's once, and it was a busy day, and the owners were there, as they are from time to time, to make our jobs harder (that was the only one they owned). One day I remember, there was a no-talking rule. We were allowed to talk to the customers, but Nancy wouldn't let us talk to each other. In a fast food restaurant! We rolled our eyes and silently prayed for her to leave, as we often did.

[rimera13]

Owners don't belong behind the counter... they've forgotten how to do the work, and we have to keep fixing their mistakes, without letting them know they made any!

[rimera13]

Well, I work at a convenience store, so the most annoying things are the customers. BUT,I have a district manager who likes to move me around to different stores for no apparent reason, and one time he moved me from one store, which badly needed help, to another store, which also needed help, and moved someone ELSE to the first store. Why not just leave me there?? Maybe you could have Greg's boss play musical cubicles the way my DM plays musical stores? THAT'S annoying!

[titansfreak74]

We also like to refer to the shocker whenever we are having a conversation with my boss. Like, "i think youll be in for a real shocker if you go visit alex in the computer lab." then we'll hold up a shocker sign behind our back or something. some real immature shyt

[dickpayne]

Where I work, we have internet access but it is for work purposes only. HR called a guy in that was visiting gambling websites often. I know someone that works in the internet security department and she had to provide a report to HR with this guys browsing history. He had visited these sites 3,000 times in one month. After the warning he didn't learn and was fired the next month.

[ElsewhereIsHere]

"Food Poisoning"

We had an after-party after a big meeting where a lot of people flew in. One of the guys I work with drank a lot and ended up getting very sick. His explanation was that he got "Food Poisoning". Ever since then we've always given him a hard time about "Food Poisoning" when we go out for drinks.

[Nkenga]

I was working in an office where my supervisor would make inappropriate comments and ask inappropriate questions often - of me specifically. She asked me if I believe in evolution, if I think black people play the race card too often (I'm black, she's white), what I thought of Jena 6, and the final straw, that she think Barack Obama is the Anti-Christ. I'm no longer working there - it was either quit or slap her for being an effing idiot.

[Lemnii]

In my sisters office, about once a week there is this guy who just randomly shows up for an hour, hangs out in the office and just leaves. My sister just started working there about a month ago and she still has no idea who he is. But like, everyone else seems to know him. I think his name is Rob or something and everyone acts like he belongs there. They say hi to him and have casual conversations and such. You'd think that he actually works there.

It sounds pretty funny and wierd to me.

[dt97070]

From a management standpoint, I have employees that attempt to take ALLOT of smoke breaks, call in sick using some of the lamest excuses. I have heard an employee loose it on the phone with our corporate AP office when they kept getting hung up on, and then just snapped on the voice mail. They didn't even make back to the receptionist for the transfer. Yeah, they are no longer with us. But it was VERY amusing.

[hothotgrl]

The guy riley from my office is ALWAYS hitting on our boss just to be a kiss up little does she know hes having an affair with HER husband. Also the guy jess is always walkin around sing in a bath towle around the office! And yes i am very pathetic!

[XxxxxXjuggaloXxxxxX]

if it is thats pathetic lol

[silentjayhpk]

Hello Greg, I am an IT that supports over 300 people. I come in early one morning and my co-worker comes running up to me. "Jay, thank God you are here .I came in on Saturday to finish up some accounts. No one else was in the office so I was going to stream music over my PC while I worked. I wanted to listen to my favorite country music station called The Beaver. So I typed that in my address box. Now I have PORN POPPING ON EVERY FEW SECONDS! Please help me Jay before my boss comes in ."

[nickschuyler]

Greg has discussion with his IT friend who talks about what people are googling. Greg's temporary cube-mate who is a control freak. 4-CubicleBeachballVolleyBall.

[nickschuyler]

You WHores!

When is Greg gonna have the office cocktease rub her shiny side against Greg's shoulder? Better yet, whens the queer gonna toetap Greg in the office restroom and ask for toilet paper? Better yetr, when is someone gonna leave assprints on the Xerox?

[squrilleyboy]

I don't really have any interesting work stories but I do have an idea for the show. If you guy's want to use it that's fine, totally up to you. I know you guy's already did an episode where someone brought in a baby but I was thinking maby have like a "bring you kid to work day" episode like a kid about 10 or so who just happens to find Gregs desk and maby have Greg teach him some "things" and have which ever co-woker who's the parent get pissed at him lol.

[squrilleyboy]

Dam Youtube lol. Just wanted to finish off saying you don't have to use my idea if you don't want to just throwing it out there. The show rocks! Keep up the good work!

[madi32]

Google things to do in an office meeting. They NEVER fail to crack me up.

Anyway, we had more funny stuff happening at school. Like once, when Michael was looking at a picture on his notebook, the teacher managed to take a glimpse of it, whistled and said "nice legs!". Michael, shocked: Sir, that's my sister! (Who actually went to the same class. :P)

K, 'nuff rambling from me.

[madi32]

One time, I was new at the job, I had to change working place for a day and my boss drove me there... in his smart. I know that's neither weird nor funny. But common... a smart! With your boss. :S

Also we used to have these security doors, where only one person at a time can go through, and we got to observe what happens when you weigh as much as two people. bwahah. That's mean, I know.

[superbang]

ok this happened about 2 years ago. we brought a nerf football into work to huck around on breaks & lunch to kill sometime. one day one of my coworkers decided to bring in a real football. so we started tossing it around in doors from joy for a real ball. well not 2minutes into throwing the ball around, i throw a cannon at my buddy just down the laneway and out from between 2cubicles comes marina the angriest ukrainian in the world. she was also 8mths pregnant. only one days suspension. not bad.

[superbang]

due to the limitations of the response box, i neglected to say i hit her right in the orbital bone... i bought her flowers and a kids football helmet to say i'm sorry.

[mx50virus]

here´s my story

there was a guy who always liked to play jokes on ppl, one of them was that when you were not arround, he put in your browser some gay-porn web as auto-starting page, so when you wanted to show something to somebody at work, it came that super gay thing on top.

but once while he was duing it in some pc, my female boss came and he got busted sitting himself on a computer checking some gay porn

you could take the idea and use terry or something, bye

[officestories]

mx50virus:

wow, did she fire him?  karma's a bitch!

[mx50virus]

actually yes,

but she never mention that "incident", a week after that she told him "you are a great worker, maybe you should find a better company where you can explode your potential even more and grow more as a person"

but we all know that she meant...

keep the god work and i really like your videos too!

[nonbiobruce]

your mom comes to the office, gets by security and embarrases you and kisses you like a mom would, all in front of your boss and co-workers(i'm still annoyed with her)

[officestories]

nonbiobruce:

did she kiss them to?

[nonbiobruce]

unfortunately she did

[gallgoodjr]

I have a guy at work that has been trying to get me in trouble. He thought I was late and called to tell the person on second shift I was releiving to send an email to the boss because I was late. Well I wasn't late it was me he told to send the email, I told him to send it himself because I was already here. That's been about six months ago he's still asked if he sent the email yet.

[andyypster]

In my office, I mean the cage.Everyone is using the NOTES to communicate with eachother. Only luch time you got chance to speak with human. It's kinda torture.

---newly graduated student

[officestories]

andy

it'd be even funnier if you guys still used post it notes at lunch ;)

[georgetteduncan]

I work with a woman that sends out "motivational emails" and "quotes of the day". I receive up to 10 of those god forsaken crap emails everyday. She also sends out congratulatory emails to everyone every time someone does something unremarkable. If that weren't bad enough she likes to come over to my fabric covered box and ask if I saw the emails and she ends every conversation with "Thanks for being a team player" (phony smile).

[neutrinotau]

That sounds like a good one for Bev.

[sassysecretary]

OMG!!!! I work with this SAME woman!!!!! It drives me freaking crazy!!! Is the background picture on the emails clouds or hearts???? Quit sending me that crap!!! And she's super duper positive it makes me want to vomit! When the IT department asked if there was anything wrong with the system, she said "No it works great for me!" meanwhile everyone's stuck! So now it looks like the rest of us are a bunch of complainers!!

[makesulaugh223]

I'm 15. My brother has a boss who is the biggest fucking dick! he yells 'cause he's board, he also tells people to do rediculus stuff. lolz.

[lostindisillusion]

do you have to work in an office or can it just be work in general?

[runawaybox]

lostindisillusion:

definitely any work stories!

[frizzalisious]

ummmm..im 13! i have never worked in my entire life!! rotflol!! BUT when the day comes tha i do work and i do have some weird office story to tell i will be sure to let u know! :D

[officestories]

frizzalisious

can't wait!

[bedrocked]

i had a co-worker that instead of a perpetual chubby had perpetual plummer crack. everytime he bent over, even to get a drink from the water fountain, it'd be a half moon. never found out if he knew what was going on but everyone at work sure did.

[ZilchZone]

I share an office with a guy who constantly watches the hit internet series "Elevator", so all day long I hear that obnoxious DING of the elevator doors opening.

Please, Greg, turn that into an hilarious web video....PLEASE!!! My life depends on it...

- Andrew

[kingpolaris]

there was a new girl at my work. and the janitor stole her umbrella. well she claimed the that the janitor stole it. then the janitor got fired right there on the spot

[GotCowZ]

theres a guy who copies what i wear the next day. he annoys me and my food >.> and yes mike is super hor

[kingpolaris]

comment time

[runawaybox]

Hey, everybody, can't wait to hear what you come up with for this! Start commenting!

Isn't Mike super hot?