The world wants you to be tough and hide any pretense, existentialism is subjective impressions which when they do not make sense can and do become accumulative from any birth, there is no motion picture in time to cling to, living in the now is impossible unless you are any dead poet not clinging to anyone’s comparative identity,
You want to feel important and have some worth and value in a world fillled with competition for the same thing, you can only know what you can experience, what you can experience is what you bring to any relationship...
Make a sad person smile or better yet laugh, and you may feel differently.
Sam Beckett's play is called Waiting for Godot. Waiting. Not, When Godot Gets Here.
We are ALL Waiting. So, do something. Scream into the silence of oblivion!!
You are young and beautiful, neither of which you had anything to do with, so you are spoiled. Your own Sweat is the fluid that will save you. The Sweat of service in improving the condition of others less fortunate. Video blogging counts, so...good job!!
I don't mean to scare you, but you will never solve this problem. I am 47 and I have been plague by these same issues my entire life. Once you reach the understanding of The Absurd (Camus), you will wonder if life is worth living. All I can tell you is find a decent job you like, and surround yourself with friends, a boyfriend. However, because of your understanding of The Absurd, never have children. Get fixed immediately. You won't want to bring children into this meaningless life.
Depression can be thought of as skill that one do (internal dialog, focus, physical state). There is a great video with Robbins / Madanes with a girl who swaps between depression and anger that i did not find on youtube, where she talks about the "rush" of depression as a benefit. It is similar to this: watch?v=e97VrOhsczI.
I have had very similar feelings and views for most of the my life as well. I am glad to see someone articulate it so well...let me know if you find a way to cope with this.
INTJ here. I find it bittersweetly odd that we seem to share the same predicament. Actually situation may be the better term for it. (Kind of side tracking here, but whatever, do you know what your MBTI type is by chance?)
"With much wisdom is much grief; and he who increaseth knowledge, increaseth sorrow."
"Ignorance is bliss"
Intelligence is a burden. Especially when you understand how truly inconceivable life, death, existence, and the universe etc. are. We are all just ment to sit and rot on this floating rock in the middle of an infinite cosmos; pondering our very being, and wishing for answers. Maybe in 2000 years when space travel is more advanced; we'll have the means to get some answers. Time will tell
If you really care about the world. If you truly want to help people. Never introduce them to existentialism. I've had numerous opportunities-when with friends/girls i liked-where i could have introduced them to existentialism; but i chose not to. I look at simple minded people with envy, because i know what a burden being wise and perceptive is. As for those i truly care about; i try to keep them as far away from existentialism as possible. The universe and existence are truly unfathomable.
The meaning of life is obscure, and yet plain as day. The meaning of life is to experience it as well as you can. Everything you gain mentally within your memories becomes coded into your DNA, and it is transferred to your children (if you choose to have any)
We are one consciousness experiencing it's self subjectively. Life is just a dream, there is no such thing as death, and we are the imagination of ourselves.
You mentioned that no one talks about these things, and your right, no one does and yet its the only things we think about. I know that exact feeling, I write poetry when I get it. Its so vague though lol. I would also like to comment on the difference between extrovert comments and introvert comments lol. The size I mean.
There is no reproach to pain...unless we assume human dignity.There is no reason for restraints on pleasure...unless we assume human worth. There is no legitimacy to monotony... unless we assume a greater purpose to life.There is no purpose to life...unless we assume design. Death has no significance...unless we seek what is everlasting.
And please don't disregard what I say because it seems like I don't understand where you're coming from. I myself have been in the exact same position you are in this video. Asking all these questions.
My comment below is the conclusion I've come to after much thought. But I'm no expert, just offering some advice.
Maybe one day you'll mature to realize that life is beautiful no matter how pointless and absurd it seems. You only live once. Might as well be happy and not miserable.
Maybe it is absurd. Maybe it is objectively pointless.
So? You can give your own life subjective meaning. Find something you love and are passionate about and pursue it vigorously. Pursue happiness but have consideration for others.
Whether you like it or not, you're here. Do your best to enjoy it and to be good to others and you will be happy. Or don't and be a lazy, horrible, bitter person who lives a miserable life.
It's totally in YOUR hands. That's the beauty of it!
nwalkerm, you are wonderfully articulate. I am 52, and I have been thinking and feeling the same things you describe since I was a teenager. The loneliness is still there most of the time but now and then, I have known people with this same view of life and we are able to connect on this 'wavelength'. It would be wonderful to find a life-partner in this subset of people, but of course the introversion reduces one's social interactions and therefore chances of such greatly. Great video!!
Oh my God. This is litterally everything i have asked the last couple of weeks. if theres any way that you could contact me becuase im a litterally going to tears watching this. You have no idea how much this is speaking to me right now.
May I suggest that you start focusing on the things that have eternal value like the mind, the soul or spirit, intelligence and such. As a prior atheist, I have found that the more time that I invest focusing on the eternal nature of things the more doors to my understanding are opened. I think that you are intelligent based on your analysis of yourself but I've learned that if we change the way we look at things the things we look at will change also. James :-)
is there anything beyond our reality? i dont know. but sometimes i doubt my atheism. i understand why mythology exists and blah blah blah. but maybe there is more than what we see.
... disillusioning them. Therefore, as mankind is currently going through an intelligence explosion, or possibly even a technological singularity, more will continue to experience existential crisis. The only possible solution is the advancement of therapies, medicine, and eventually transhumanism and a post-darwinian transition.
Homo Sapiens did not evolve in the modern cultural environment with so much knowledge, therefore many of us are not very good at adapting to such raised awareness. As the great, not-so-well known philosopher, Peter Zapffe said, "most of us learn to survive by artificially limiting the content of consciousness". Studies in Anthropology have shown how corrosive the mere presence of the researchers can be to the delusions that maintain tribal societies. There is simply no way to avoid disillusioni
If this world does have a point, it's Suffering Prevention and Suffering Alleviation. That's about the most we can make of it. Doesn't mean we should force others into this world though. I went through this, too. Might as well explore your interests, hobbies, passions, etc. - and alleviate / prevent suffering in others.
You again just spoke my mind. its like you love the world-a universalistic thinker but hate it all at the same time. your emotions go up and down throughout the day
I can definitely relate to this, the nature of life is something ive spent the majority of my short time on earth doing, only in the past year has it turned into an existential depression. Im often very afraid to watch videos like this, because i dont want my internal doubts about God, the world, and existence to be validated.
I suppose it is the paradox of human struggle, we seek meaning simply because there is none.
Yes, life can be absurd if you try to be someone else and leave your passions and desires in life. I have been through the same existential depression mainly because of my conversion to atheist from being hardcore religious.
Think about a few things you want from life and strive to achieve those and remember it is the journey that matters and not the end result.
I took a few alterations of the Myers Briggs and I always end up INFJ. I spend so much time inside my own head I forget I'm physically alive. I feel the deepest emotional responses to even small occurrences. I think one thing that I actually enjoy about myself is being able to really see people. I'm really in tune with body language and tone of voice almost like I have "Man's intuition." I like who I am but I wish other people understood that "just stop thinking so much" is useless advice.
Wow.... U took the words out of my mind :S I'm 20 and college turned me into a depressed freak.. I feel the exact same way :S I actually got to the point where everything is so pointless.. I agree with everything u said
Take a look at it. Like Myers Briggs. You are probably an INF(J?). Or Non Violent Communication. Or Buddhism. Or NLP. Or Ken Wilber. Or Eckhart Tolle.
The perspective we naturally have will bring a lot of special abilities. And also challenges. Keep what you like, drop what you don't.
Think everyone feels this way - pretty much Notes from Underground (though not everyone is that vile, moreso inquisitive than bitter). Is love just materializing another person to say "hey I got a sig. other too" or selfish in that you just want to feel wanted, or is it animal instincts, in which case, no free will...bla bla bla
Then you get confused and don't see a point, but go with the flow as it comes, then wonder...is this really me the whole time
Do you ever question the relationship between you and your friends? I'm having trouble trying to further explain it. It might just be my social situation, I don't know.
wow, we are the same. we should meet up seriously. i have a lot of questions about the world we live in. and i thought i was crazy but i guess not. :)
i am on a quest for something - a better understanding of myself. which, i have found to be impossible. for i am ever-changing and growing as a person.
perhaps it is not depression you suffer from but rather self-awareness. if so, it is not suffering. you are in tune with your emotions, i would be proud. with your train of thought, you are indeed 'helping the world' and making it a much better place. thoughts like yours are always refreshing.
how weird, your words, point for point could just as well describe my existence at present..semi or seriously depressed, somehow accepting it, confused, anxious, not knowing what the future holds, lonely... perhaps this state of mind works like a virus infecting a great many people at some point in their lives, perhaps it's a coping mechanism, as you say...or perhaps it's as the Buddhists say, we discover we're actually living in one of the lower realms of hell and not a kiddy's paradise..dada
you've just described exactly how ive been feeling to. at night i think the same as you and im only 17!! i need answers. i dont want to talk about because i feel like the only one. i dont want to keep thinking this anymore and just get on with things like i used to. i couldnt explain how i felt before, but you did it in a nutshell. how can i cure it?
I feel the same angst that you are experiencing. Ive been to therapists, talked to friends, taken medication, etc. Nothing really seems to take away these feelings of grief and emptiness. I have found a small bit of solace in the fact that there are more people like me out there who feel the same way and when and if I communicate with them there is a common ground we both can share. In a way it helps me feel a connection that I wouldnt ordinarily have experienced.
I take it you get lots of guys hitting on you on YouTube. Probably 'real' life too. It is because you're beautiful. So that's something to feel real about. It is pretty real
Wow, we think so much alike in this video, even down to the desire to learn. I like to read but I dislike fiction as I feel it's not real(duh) and thus a waste of time. My head is so full of tidbits of information on many things. I will dive into a subject full force but will abandon it after I feel I got what I wanted or lose interest, then repeat it all over again with something else. My mechanical job is great as I do R&D and get to play with new toys and concepts so it's always new stuff.
Do something exciting, don't worry, have a beer, watch a funny movie or come over my house and ill cheer you up. Oh and if deep thinkin depresses you then do some un deep thinking, remember everything is about balance.
I know for a fact though that it is temporary. I love philosophy and whatnot and i have always been a thinker. However, lately, i have been going through self searching and i am trying to know what, how, why am i! I hope that i can have a new "satisfying" perspective about life for me to be able to enjoy it!
I totally understand what you mean. Especially the part when you are with friends vs. alone! It is really tough sometimes. I don't know if you watched a movie called "50 first dates". I feel like i am diagnosed with such disorder but in a different scale. Everyday i wake up feeling a bit lost and i spend my morning with reading articles about derealization and videos such as yours. It takes me a few hours for me to collect myself and be able to understand my symptoms again!
Even though you say your a feeler you are also a very good thinker. "With great knowledge comes great sorrow" Depression would seem normal to great thinkers. "All is vanity" is another quote that comes to mind. Your quite normal for an intelligent person. Yeah, I know those quote are biblical but still true in this instance.
Wow, this pretty much sums up my views at the moment. I'll spend like 95% of my day going about my normal business, school, job, friends etc. and then i'll have these extended periods of sadness and despair at how cruel and unforgiving the world is, and how there is no sense of justice at all, and that the crude form of justice humans self impose upon themselves can't begin to compensate for the overwhelming injustice of the world.
You can't realize who you fundamentally are from that point of view in the same way that you can't get wet in the word 'water.' If you don't get the point now, then you'll never get it.
The point to life, is have fun, be happy, find love, and let others have that opportunity. I used to think exactly like you. There is no point. It only makes you even more depressed. Do what makes you happy and don't think about what the point of it all is. Ignorance is bliss, in so many words.
Well our modern society made us to work hard for daily food, clothes, shelter,and they make us to run in nonsense circle, which is absolutely stupid structure of our system.
Hey, I know exactly what you are saying and how you feel. And it can be very hard to explain at times cuz it can feel so obscure, its not quite this and its not quite that. Even the origins and explanation can be hard to point out. I often find comfort in reading those who live with this inner crisis and are able to soldier on - Henry Rollins, Morrissey. After all the why's and how's I've come to the conclusion that what we yearn for is what is described as love.
I've been going through the same existential panic lately. It kind of feels like the pleasures of life have been sucked out of me. To make things worse I was an atheist. The more I have been thinking about it, the more I realize the human need for faith. We know the universe began and will end. Trust in the source of life, whether that be God, the universe, or whatever. We cannot know, and for that reason the only answer to the dread is faith. I know, not exactly the answer I wanted either.
I am a 20 year old female going to college and working and I have been an introvert my whole life and I am going through the EXACT same enlightenment you are describing. I have been searching for people who are going through the same things but I can't seem to find a lot of ppl who can relate. I hope you read this and message back. I could use some discussion time :)
perhaps the point is not so much to be superior over another but to detach yourself from a reality you dislike and cannot accept (each person for their own reasons)
I can't say for everyone, but I felt that when I did this in the past (and still do presently), it was because I thought my reality was more valid than everyone else who thought different. This doesn't seem to be 'reality,' though. I think in 'reality,' there is no correct form of reality. Knowing that we know nothing (I borrow from Socrates) is true enlightenment--even knowing the fact that we know nothing prohibits us, if we attach ourselves to it.
I think showing love towards other people is ultimately a selfish act because it seems we love in order to be happy. Yet love must be completely selfless in order for the receiver to fully feel it, and consequently yourself. And it seems there's nothing wrong with that.
If we only use rational thought to think, we will always end up depressed. Life needs irrationality. Should we consider rational thought as important as it seems? (Not rhetorical.)
I saw your first video because of your video about K's book. Then, I saw this one. You are very young, full of potential and light, and I see what you are going through, your thoughts, your feelings, and its not easy to express it. Be patient. Everything will be ok. May you find happiness uninvited with many blessings.
Through philosophy, I also adopted a strong skepticism, almost nihilism, like you describe. Though, I embrace it now. There is no inherent meaning to life, in my opinion, just this raw emotion and intellect inside every individual, it is hard to describe. I relate to what you said about expressing yourself, I think it might be why I like art so much- as some kind of medium for expression. Regardless, I find myself loving life as an idea; a meaningless, absurd, terrifying, brilliant idea.
Do you have to ask "why" for something you love or something you're passionate about? I was suffering from existential depression for a while. I found that it all changed once I GAVE my life direction. You can question every bit about life and IMO it IS pointless, but it really is what you make of it. It sounds like you need some direction or something to be passionate about. I Heart Huckabees is a good movie about existential depression. It'll put a smile on your face :).
Great video. I am 30 and I've had severe clinical depression since I was a child... hearing someone else express the kinds of feelings I myself have also had was comforting and made me feel less alone. I have subscribed to your channel. Thank you!
Whe i read this quote by Sartre, i finally became at ease with myself because it showed me a truth about myself: "Like all dreamers, I mistook disenchantment for truth".
We, people with existential depression, do that exactly. Hope it works.
Whe i read this quote by Sartre, i finally became at ease with myself because it showed me a truth about myself: "Like all dreamers, I mistook disenchantment for truth".
We, people with existential depression, do that exactly. Hoe it works.
That's because life is pointless! All we get out of it is happiness that we never needed nor desired prior to our conception and unnecessary and utterly avoidable pain and suffering that is inflicted by one generation on to the next in an insane game of 'pass the hot potato'. It takes intelligence and intensive and prolonged abstract contemplation to fully appreciate this and most people are just too self-centred to do anything other than dismiss it. I'm exploring this phenomenon in my videos.
I know exactly how you mean, as an INFP myself I've been going through an existential crisis for the past couple of years, definitely some soul searching involved to little avail as life seems to have an iron grasp on me
The reason you feel depressed is because you think life should be something and it isn´t. But is a great contradiction to hold on to that ideal of life when you will face death any moment. Just don´t have that preconception of life, that life should be like this or like that and therefore the idea of absurdity, pointlessness, having no sense will dissapear because what feeds it is your own judgement and knowledge on life, which are absolutely limited.
when you think after-death has no point is because you have the knowledge that life has to have a form you already can recognize and obvoiusly death can never satisfy any state of life you have already experience. So don´t expect things from life, live every moment like you don´t know a thing don´t try to direct life in any direction, for only then you can discover and learn truly. Perhaps you can use soooooome knowledge from time to time but not in existencial things my lady.
From my personal experiences with depression, both my own and other people's close to me, I feel it is safe to say you are not experiencing symptoms of depression. At the very least not sever depression. I wouldn't worry about it. If you can accept how you feel and try and learn more about yourself from that experience I'm sure it'll make it all better and worth it.
I've come across as feeling like you since I was 15, and seeing you express yourself in this way is wonderful. The advice I can give you is that you're valuable; that you me and everyone else belong to a monic system of parts and take on an endomorphic image. Pain for example proves that love exist and peace and war cannot be one without the other.
this video kinda freaked me out..................because no one knows what goes on in my head or understands it....but you took the word right out of my thoughts and you said them just like i do.... it was like your were litterally reading my mind.. and iv never found anyone else like that till now :)
I'm glad I'm not the only one who turns to Alan Watts for their existential crisis. :) I'm extremely interested in Taoism but what Watts says sort of reinforces my existential thoughts but once I've accepted an ideal it confuses me and leads to feelings of despair. Like the concept that you can't make a mistake because it is impossible to judge events as "positive" or "negative" since you have no idea how they impact everything else. Is there such thing as a waste of time?
The greatest joke in the universe is life. Everything ever accomplished and anyone ever alive will one day be dead and forgotten and totally wiped from existence leaving zero evidence that anything ever happened.
Oh my god, I feel the same way. You have no idea how comforting it is though to know someone feels the same way. Take comfort in the thought that there are others with similar thinking patterns as you and you are not alone. We are all human and the human condition is odd in itself. This helps me accept the reality :) (or illusory world as it seems) Creativity is most of our outlet for feeling okay with the world it seems. To get some kind of message across makes us feel good. We need a purpose.
@nwalkerm thanks for making the video, i can relate with all that you've said, moreso recently. I've started to realise exactly what is meant by 'ignorance is bliss'. good luck
And of course we will always be alone. No INFP ENFP W/E is alike. I believe in sidereal astrology so much, this connected me back to spirituality, which healed me a bit. The only REAL thing that can heal us is LOVE and relationships. I think INFP's have an obsessive thinking pattern...?
Actualdepression is like when you are driving a car, and you feel as ifANY MOMENT now you could totally go insane. Insane as to the point of being manic but staying in control, coming home and crying was how I would cope after a monthI kept thinking that if wedestroy each other then our body will automatically try to destroy ourself, and I though my body was trying to destroy me and I though my mind wanted me to kill myself.The real thing is staying intouch withhumanity. Do good itwill come back
That isn't depression, that is a train of thought, it is negative, and a circling obsessive question, but not depression.
TRUST ME. I didn't know what depression was until I felt it.
at around night time i would feel as if I were going to throw up. It was a great sense of fear that I would loose control. I had NO MORE MEANING in my life. And you have to find meaning. I would come home and the only release would be crying. I didn't smile for 3 months straight, I didn't think about anything.
I've been depressed over school, work, boyfriends, etc. And that is just how we think. I think the idealist will never be fullfilled in this lifetime.
But ACTUAL DEPRESSION. It is the worst thing ever. I also have some time of obsessive compulsive thing and that made it worse. I also would feel tense and I started to get really really REALLY Evil. Like I was listening to black/dark metal about murder and crap. I wanted to get out of this world so bad.
@littleflowwer well depression in itself is a way to help us face our problems. if we didn't become depressed, we wouldn't notice that something was going awry, nor would we have time to contemplate our problems. I mean, I've experienced different types of 'depression'... I just think that there is more than one type of depression. Being manic depressive is much more intense, and I don't think it's much on the same sphere as typical depression or even severe depression.
I can relate to everything you said, as many people here seem to do. I have just recently started reading Notes From The Underground too, and I saw that you had a review up on it. I wont watch your review until I've finished the book. Im about 1/4th into it and wow, what Dostoevsky says in that book resonates so much with me. It's like when you opened the door to questioning and philosophy, you can never shut it again without deceiving yourself, which too would make you feel bad.
@Fr0ggeh86 Sometimes I curse the time I got into philosophy, but then again, I don't think it was much of a coincidence, rather it was kinda inevitable. Some people are thinkers I guess. Wow, now Im starting to sound full of myself :). Anyway, good video, I totally recognize your thoughts in myself. Sorry I have written somethings strange, Im swedish so sometimes I word and spell stuff wrongly. And on a last note, you are really cute ;).
i know what you mean.. sometimes i have this feeling of "whats the point, you're gonna die and then whats all you've worked for worth?" i really hate it, i feel like its just making me a pessimistic person rather than a realist. I want to live life to my fullest, and appreciate what i have, not just think "its all eventually gonna end so whats the point"
I can totally relate that feeling of seen the whole world pointless. Career, jobs, relationships, money, status, etc. It's so important in society that it seems boring. It means you're aware of some of the layers that others might not be able to see.
For me its like I believe their is an afterlife, I read about this stuff and have gotten signs that are unexplainable. For me its like a cycle of thinking about life and it is sort of depressing because its hard to relate to others when you see it.
I see the World as a place where ppl are not running at their fullest potential. It seems that ppl have slipped into a traditional Mode (where they stay with what has already been done). I think that you are Waking up to world that we live in a pointless world, I think that its time for us to Break Free!!!
you have NO idea how good it feels to hear someone express every single thought i've been ruminating over for about a year now. existential depression is the lowest of the low. it sure would be nice to be jolted out of.
even the dinosaurs. I wanted to say though, through dealing with these thoughts I have come to my own definition of why I can become genuinely interested in this world. The fact of the matter is that, for whatever reason, we DO exist-and there are many of us that share that condition. Why, when presented with this information, would we assume that we are here to do anything but observe this existence, and share it with our fellow 'existers'. I really suggest meditation if you haven't already t
I have been dealing with these things lately, myself. The underlying problem in my opinion is that there aren't enough people in this world that acknowledge that they actually exist to begin with, and more importantly that others exist around them. When dealing with existential depression, especially the spiritual part (you mention nihilism) intelligent people can't help but see that there is a potential for the idea that this is all one big sandcastle, therefore you and all traces of you will
you are in the delusion, therefore not being realistic. you may want to inquire more into what you feel, see and perceive. understandings will unfold with time. see if you are putting a screen between you and the world. and to be honest, I'm quite in the same situation. On one side we seem to become more and more conscious and free, and on the other more and more self absorbed. I dunno'.
@philinmotion well i would say there is definitely a sort of screen between me and 'reality', but I don't know if it's me being unrealistic if i can't find my way out. i think that it's more so understanding the world from a different perspective that causes the rift, but the difficult part is coming to terms with the realizations that i've been confronted with. i suppose that may come in time, but i think we're all in our own delusions either way.
A moneyless,classless,stateless communities of humanity expressing our freedom in creative harmonious cooperation for a world that is so POTENTIALLY AND ACTUALLY nourishing. Capitalism in any form, Statist or Corporatist is the denial of our common humanity in a politically manipulated,tyrannical armed MARKET SYSTEM of artificial scarcity that is designed to perpetuate the enslavement of immense humanity for material interest of the criminal ruling elite
"Death is not an event in life: we do not live to experience death. If we take eternity to mean not infinite temporal duration but timelessness, then eternal life belongs to those who live in the present. Our life has no end in the way in which our visual field has no limits."
Honey, take it from someone much older who was once like you: very beautiful and young (I'm a guy, but it's the same thing), thoughtful and intelligent, who on the outside seemed to have everything going for him, but went through this. If you're not putting us on, and you're sincere here in your videos...
You're right: life ultimately has no meaning. That makes it up to you, whether you will live in depression and self-absorption, or enjoy the mysterious, undefined thing of living.
Most thoughtful people think about these things. You're not alone. And yes, you're right, many artists use this as a jumping off part to write, paint, film...
Your videos are your art.
I suggest looking to others: the Existential writers like Sartre and Camus, especially "The Myth of Sisyphus" which discusses directly the meaning of life. Even Woody Allen's "Annie Hall" discusses it, as do many of his movies. (He finds enjoyment through comedy.)
Continuing.. But some day Woody Allen will die, and in 200 years, hardly anyone will even know who he was...
You make decisions every moment how you will live. It's up to you.
There's a quote, don't know who said it: "Life is like you're on stage to play the violin in front of a big crowd, but don't know how to play it and have to learn it as you go."
Again, highly recommend you read Camus' "The Myth of Sisyphus."
I have to say that honestly I can relate to you and your feelings. I’ve had the dark cloud, and the feeling of hopelessness. While it feels like the pit of nothingness, in reality you are at the mouth of something new.
wow! this is the best video i have seen in a long time. you stated all the things that i have felt as well. i think your onto something big. your mind is very much like mine. its great to see another person that thinks like this! it makes me feel less alone. i think not thinking about these things is what is abnormal! this level of introspection is rare today.
wow you pretty much described me in a nutshell, except I also have derealization. Derealization and existential depression seem to go hand in had like maybe people like us are more susceptible to the disease. I'll be posting a video pretty soon so, tell me what you think
I can relate to that existential angst. One way I've found really helpful is working through art & imagination, & meditation. These have been really helpful for me.
My biggest issue has been putting in all this effort to improve my perception and feeling alone and unappreciated, but also realizing that the feelings of belonging and appreciation are illusory and meaningless to the pursuit of true perception. They are false confirmations of an unimportant self. it is difficult to think that I am at war over my own perception and sense of being and that others are simply grasping blindly. Here and there a bit of wisdom, but not much serious effort.
I fail to see any meaning in life but i cant even imagine a meaningful different existence so i am just another fool chasing that euphoria.Depression comes from dissapointment,dissapointment comes from holding expectations and expectations about the concept of existence arise from the individual valuing illusions and basing happiness on them.But attachment is meaningless just like detachment is.0-1(222222)-0.<-- that is existence :P.
We give meaning to our actions cause we imagine an euphoric state of mind following their end. Our whole life is that simple concept: a loop of different scenarios but the core of the concept is the same: achieving euphoria.We cant escape it.Euphoria is the memory of happiness and the faith that in the future it might come again.Can you really live the moment?No its allready gone.
There's a movie I recommend you to watch, which might help you to see two different existential ideas, and how it helped me to see the world differently. It's called "I heart Huckabees".
Being an idealist is tough sometimes because we go through existential "meltdowns" and dilemmas often, and it's difficult to get out of it for a while.
But I consider these episodes as part of an essential process to make myself a better person, and a good time to analyze/evaluate my character.
Thanks for making this video. There are plenty of people out there, who feel the same as you. Hell the 1990s were full of them. Then pop music happened, and everyone tried to be happy again.
Half of the people either look for help (medication, pills, alcohol) and the other half keep their mouths shut because they are afraid of being prescribed anti-depressants.
If you work on yourself, you change the world. And you GIVE meaning to life. What is a painting but some paint smeared on a canvas?
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The world wants you to be tough and hide any pretense, existentialism is subjective impressions which when they do not make sense can and do become accumulative from any birth, there is no motion picture in time to cling to, living in the now is impossible unless you are any dead poet not clinging to anyone’s comparative identity,
DrFruedienslip 1 day ago
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DrFruedienslip 1 day ago
You want to feel important and have some worth and value in a world fillled with competition for the same thing, you can only know what you can experience, what you can experience is what you bring to any relationship...
DrFruedienslip 1 day ago
I can relate to this so much. Thank you for being bold and expressing your thoughts to the world. :) You are far braver than I.
kayteeertegx3 2 days ago
Make a sad person smile or better yet laugh, and you may feel differently.
Sam Beckett's play is called Waiting for Godot. Waiting. Not, When Godot Gets Here.
We are ALL Waiting. So, do something. Scream into the silence of oblivion!!
You are young and beautiful, neither of which you had anything to do with, so you are spoiled. Your own Sweat is the fluid that will save you. The Sweat of service in improving the condition of others less fortunate. Video blogging counts, so...good job!!
SeafloorReunion 5 days ago
I don't mean to scare you, but you will never solve this problem. I am 47 and I have been plague by these same issues my entire life. Once you reach the understanding of The Absurd (Camus), you will wonder if life is worth living. All I can tell you is find a decent job you like, and surround yourself with friends, a boyfriend. However, because of your understanding of The Absurd, never have children. Get fixed immediately. You won't want to bring children into this meaningless life.
JayGatsbyOdysseus 6 days ago
The answers we want to know, Are the questions that we dont know
Insurgent999 1 week ago
Irvin Yalom's books about existential psychology have helped me immensely with these issues. Maybe they can help others.
theJdoggIMS 1 week ago
Depression can be thought of as skill that one do (internal dialog, focus, physical state). There is a great video with Robbins / Madanes with a girl who swaps between depression and anger that i did not find on youtube, where she talks about the "rush" of depression as a benefit. It is similar to this: watch?v=e97VrOhsczI.
Zander242 2 weeks ago
I have had very similar feelings and views for most of the my life as well. I am glad to see someone articulate it so well...let me know if you find a way to cope with this.
pvsk10 3 weeks ago
fffffff it's not depressioan it's apathy..... depression is VERY PAINFULL
tovstenko 3 weeks ago
INTJ here. I find it bittersweetly odd that we seem to share the same predicament. Actually situation may be the better term for it. (Kind of side tracking here, but whatever, do you know what your MBTI type is by chance?)
interrobang94 4 weeks ago
so in other words chicky
In the real dark night of your soul it is always three o' clock in the morning, day after day for ya?
to use a borrowed and slightly modifed F. Scott Fitzerald line.
SwarthySkinnedOne 1 month ago
absurdity,hopelessness.....death
Dramacidal1 1 month ago
"With much wisdom is much grief; and he who increaseth knowledge, increaseth sorrow."
"Ignorance is bliss"
Intelligence is a burden. Especially when you understand how truly inconceivable life, death, existence, and the universe etc. are. We are all just ment to sit and rot on this floating rock in the middle of an infinite cosmos; pondering our very being, and wishing for answers. Maybe in 2000 years when space travel is more advanced; we'll have the means to get some answers. Time will tell
wtf815 1 month ago
If you really care about the world. If you truly want to help people. Never introduce them to existentialism. I've had numerous opportunities-when with friends/girls i liked-where i could have introduced them to existentialism; but i chose not to. I look at simple minded people with envy, because i know what a burden being wise and perceptive is. As for those i truly care about; i try to keep them as far away from existentialism as possible. The universe and existence are truly unfathomable.
wtf815 1 month ago
Man, I relate to your videos so much. I wish you'd keep making them.
dwk0003 1 month ago
The meaning of life is obscure, and yet plain as day. The meaning of life is to experience it as well as you can. Everything you gain mentally within your memories becomes coded into your DNA, and it is transferred to your children (if you choose to have any)
We are one consciousness experiencing it's self subjectively. Life is just a dream, there is no such thing as death, and we are the imagination of ourselves.
Soultrip89 1 month ago
You mentioned that no one talks about these things, and your right, no one does and yet its the only things we think about. I know that exact feeling, I write poetry when I get it. Its so vague though lol. I would also like to comment on the difference between extrovert comments and introvert comments lol. The size I mean.
JonnyRocketfingers7 1 month ago
There is no reproach to pain...unless we assume human dignity.There is no reason for restraints on pleasure...unless we assume human worth. There is no legitimacy to monotony... unless we assume a greater purpose to life.There is no purpose to life...unless we assume design. Death has no significance...unless we seek what is everlasting.
tranceport909 1 month ago
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And please don't disregard what I say because it seems like I don't understand where you're coming from. I myself have been in the exact same position you are in this video. Asking all these questions.
My comment below is the conclusion I've come to after much thought. But I'm no expert, just offering some advice.
Maybe one day you'll mature to realize that life is beautiful no matter how pointless and absurd it seems. You only live once. Might as well be happy and not miserable.
pcgamer010 1 month ago
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pcgamer010 1 month ago
Maybe it is absurd. Maybe it is objectively pointless.
So? You can give your own life subjective meaning. Find something you love and are passionate about and pursue it vigorously. Pursue happiness but have consideration for others.
Whether you like it or not, you're here. Do your best to enjoy it and to be good to others and you will be happy. Or don't and be a lazy, horrible, bitter person who lives a miserable life.
It's totally in YOUR hands. That's the beauty of it!
pcgamer010 1 month ago
nwalkerm, you are wonderfully articulate. I am 52, and I have been thinking and feeling the same things you describe since I was a teenager. The loneliness is still there most of the time but now and then, I have known people with this same view of life and we are able to connect on this 'wavelength'. It would be wonderful to find a life-partner in this subset of people, but of course the introversion reduces one's social interactions and therefore chances of such greatly. Great video!!
Modtim27 2 months ago
Oh my God. This is litterally everything i have asked the last couple of weeks. if theres any way that you could contact me becuase im a litterally going to tears watching this. You have no idea how much this is speaking to me right now.
hduce 2 months ago
May I suggest that you start focusing on the things that have eternal value like the mind, the soul or spirit, intelligence and such. As a prior atheist, I have found that the more time that I invest focusing on the eternal nature of things the more doors to my understanding are opened. I think that you are intelligent based on your analysis of yourself but I've learned that if we change the way we look at things the things we look at will change also. James :-)
jrobison2010 2 months ago
is there anything beyond our reality? i dont know. but sometimes i doubt my atheism. i understand why mythology exists and blah blah blah. but maybe there is more than what we see.
AhYaOk 2 months ago
... disillusioning them. Therefore, as mankind is currently going through an intelligence explosion, or possibly even a technological singularity, more will continue to experience existential crisis. The only possible solution is the advancement of therapies, medicine, and eventually transhumanism and a post-darwinian transition.
jdunbaugh 2 months ago
Homo Sapiens did not evolve in the modern cultural environment with so much knowledge, therefore many of us are not very good at adapting to such raised awareness. As the great, not-so-well known philosopher, Peter Zapffe said, "most of us learn to survive by artificially limiting the content of consciousness". Studies in Anthropology have shown how corrosive the mere presence of the researchers can be to the delusions that maintain tribal societies. There is simply no way to avoid disillusioni
jdunbaugh 2 months ago
whats the point of having a point?
brono25 2 months ago
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tweekin001 2 months ago
If this world does have a point, it's Suffering Prevention and Suffering Alleviation. That's about the most we can make of it. Doesn't mean we should force others into this world though. I went through this, too. Might as well explore your interests, hobbies, passions, etc. - and alleviate / prevent suffering in others.
filrabat 2 months ago
You again just spoke my mind. its like you love the world-a universalistic thinker but hate it all at the same time. your emotions go up and down throughout the day
ICanSayKatarina 2 months ago
just ask God to reveal Himself to you!
MultiTofek 3 months ago
no i do not have this!! i have Jesus,
MultiTofek 3 months ago
sounds like depersonalization
TheShortclipss 3 months ago
nwalkerm,
Just go out with your friends more often and try to have fun
you don't need to be concerned about meaning of existence right at this moment.
mostupdate 3 months ago
I can definitely relate to this, the nature of life is something ive spent the majority of my short time on earth doing, only in the past year has it turned into an existential depression. Im often very afraid to watch videos like this, because i dont want my internal doubts about God, the world, and existence to be validated.
I suppose it is the paradox of human struggle, we seek meaning simply because there is none.
phantomrose7 3 months ago
Yes, life can be absurd if you try to be someone else and leave your passions and desires in life. I have been through the same existential depression mainly because of my conversion to atheist from being hardcore religious.
Think about a few things you want from life and strive to achieve those and remember it is the journey that matters and not the end result.
Wish you a happy life :)
shakilmujeeb 3 months ago
I took a few alterations of the Myers Briggs and I always end up INFJ. I spend so much time inside my own head I forget I'm physically alive. I feel the deepest emotional responses to even small occurrences. I think one thing that I actually enjoy about myself is being able to really see people. I'm really in tune with body language and tone of voice almost like I have "Man's intuition." I like who I am but I wish other people understood that "just stop thinking so much" is useless advice.
v1k1n95 3 months ago
Wow.... U took the words out of my mind :S I'm 20 and college turned me into a depressed freak.. I feel the exact same way :S I actually got to the point where everything is so pointless.. I agree with everything u said
maurgi17 3 months ago
Take a look at it. Like Myers Briggs. You are probably an INF(J?). Or Non Violent Communication. Or Buddhism. Or NLP. Or Ken Wilber. Or Eckhart Tolle.
The perspective we naturally have will bring a lot of special abilities. And also challenges. Keep what you like, drop what you don't.
Zander242 3 months ago
Why? Because, Thats why. There is no point! Live fast die young leave a good looking corpse....
glenwoofit 3 months ago
@glenwoofit Sensors... Yeah. Get another beer, and leave me alone! ;-)
Zander242 3 months ago
Think everyone feels this way - pretty much Notes from Underground (though not everyone is that vile, moreso inquisitive than bitter). Is love just materializing another person to say "hey I got a sig. other too" or selfish in that you just want to feel wanted, or is it animal instincts, in which case, no free will...bla bla bla
Then you get confused and don't see a point, but go with the flow as it comes, then wonder...is this really me the whole time
psynema 3 months ago
Do you ever question the relationship between you and your friends? I'm having trouble trying to further explain it. It might just be my social situation, I don't know.
Chemical13k 4 months ago
wow, we are the same. we should meet up seriously. i have a lot of questions about the world we live in. and i thought i was crazy but i guess not. :)
myshowvids 4 months ago
looks like we're on the same boat, you and i.
i am on a quest for something - a better understanding of myself. which, i have found to be impossible. for i am ever-changing and growing as a person.
perhaps it is not depression you suffer from but rather self-awareness. if so, it is not suffering. you are in tune with your emotions, i would be proud. with your train of thought, you are indeed 'helping the world' and making it a much better place. thoughts like yours are always refreshing.
prettybones8 4 months ago
how weird, your words, point for point could just as well describe my existence at present..semi or seriously depressed, somehow accepting it, confused, anxious, not knowing what the future holds, lonely... perhaps this state of mind works like a virus infecting a great many people at some point in their lives, perhaps it's a coping mechanism, as you say...or perhaps it's as the Buddhists say, we discover we're actually living in one of the lower realms of hell and not a kiddy's paradise..dada
kingofaikido 4 months ago
you've just described exactly how ive been feeling to. at night i think the same as you and im only 17!! i need answers. i dont want to talk about because i feel like the only one. i dont want to keep thinking this anymore and just get on with things like i used to. i couldnt explain how i felt before, but you did it in a nutshell. how can i cure it?
JohnnyDeppsBabyCakes 4 months ago
I feel the same angst that you are experiencing. Ive been to therapists, talked to friends, taken medication, etc. Nothing really seems to take away these feelings of grief and emptiness. I have found a small bit of solace in the fact that there are more people like me out there who feel the same way and when and if I communicate with them there is a common ground we both can share. In a way it helps me feel a connection that I wouldnt ordinarily have experienced.
EulogizeMe43 4 months ago
I take it you get lots of guys hitting on you on YouTube. Probably 'real' life too. It is because you're beautiful. So that's something to feel real about. It is pretty real
S2Cents 4 months ago
@S2Cents
yes the constant attention of fucking morons, how wonderful ...
donnyab 1 month ago
Wow, we think so much alike in this video, even down to the desire to learn. I like to read but I dislike fiction as I feel it's not real(duh) and thus a waste of time. My head is so full of tidbits of information on many things. I will dive into a subject full force but will abandon it after I feel I got what I wanted or lose interest, then repeat it all over again with something else. My mechanical job is great as I do R&D and get to play with new toys and concepts so it's always new stuff.
thybigballs 4 months ago
Do something exciting, don't worry, have a beer, watch a funny movie or come over my house and ill cheer you up. Oh and if deep thinkin depresses you then do some un deep thinking, remember everything is about balance.
ghostnotejams 4 months ago
In addition, Inner peace is the key! finding the door thus becomes the challenge!
rushdyinization 5 months ago
I know for a fact though that it is temporary. I love philosophy and whatnot and i have always been a thinker. However, lately, i have been going through self searching and i am trying to know what, how, why am i! I hope that i can have a new "satisfying" perspective about life for me to be able to enjoy it!
rushdyinization 5 months ago
I totally understand what you mean. Especially the part when you are with friends vs. alone! It is really tough sometimes. I don't know if you watched a movie called "50 first dates". I feel like i am diagnosed with such disorder but in a different scale. Everyday i wake up feeling a bit lost and i spend my morning with reading articles about derealization and videos such as yours. It takes me a few hours for me to collect myself and be able to understand my symptoms again!
rushdyinization 5 months ago
Even though you say your a feeler you are also a very good thinker. "With great knowledge comes great sorrow" Depression would seem normal to great thinkers. "All is vanity" is another quote that comes to mind. Your quite normal for an intelligent person. Yeah, I know those quote are biblical but still true in this instance.
tacoma200 5 months ago
There's nothing depressing about acceptance.
MoreThanMetal 5 months ago
Dam, is your webcam made in 1995?
vlogsmack 5 months ago
//againsthappiness.blogspot.com/2010/03/mercy-of-eternity.html
Please consider Dr Eric Wilson writings on melancholy, it is transformative work!
ParkwayDriveHorizons 5 months ago
Wow, this pretty much sums up my views at the moment. I'll spend like 95% of my day going about my normal business, school, job, friends etc. and then i'll have these extended periods of sadness and despair at how cruel and unforgiving the world is, and how there is no sense of justice at all, and that the crude form of justice humans self impose upon themselves can't begin to compensate for the overwhelming injustice of the world.
JacobK48 5 months ago
You can't realize who you fundamentally are from that point of view in the same way that you can't get wet in the word 'water.' If you don't get the point now, then you'll never get it.
spaceghost996 5 months ago
Camus! Sometimes I read the Myth of Sisyphus and it really opens windows. After all, we are all Sisyphus in the end.
xezene1 5 months ago
I learned one thing from watching your videos--you are really beautiful.
LordFancourt 6 months ago
The point to life, is have fun, be happy, find love, and let others have that opportunity. I used to think exactly like you. There is no point. It only makes you even more depressed. Do what makes you happy and don't think about what the point of it all is. Ignorance is bliss, in so many words.
noyan000 6 months ago
Well our modern society made us to work hard for daily food, clothes, shelter,and they make us to run in nonsense circle, which is absolutely stupid structure of our system.
vijayanand875 6 months ago
blah blah blah....(too much of words here ppl)
akshyasharma221947 6 months ago
OMG WHAT U JUST SAID IN THIS VIDEO.... IS EXACTLY THE SAME THING I TOLD MYSELF AND TO MY DAD!. OMG LOL IM SO GLAD THERES OTHERS LIKE ME.
RuneDayzCerda 6 months ago
Hey, I know exactly what you are saying and how you feel. And it can be very hard to explain at times cuz it can feel so obscure, its not quite this and its not quite that. Even the origins and explanation can be hard to point out. I often find comfort in reading those who live with this inner crisis and are able to soldier on - Henry Rollins, Morrissey. After all the why's and how's I've come to the conclusion that what we yearn for is what is described as love.
stellarshore 6 months ago
I think you stole the words right out of my brain. Everything i always think about you just said.
rockoutloud2112 6 months ago
Also, practice compassion and caring for others. It will help you escape your thoughts tremendously.
seanstrnad 6 months ago
I've been going through the same existential panic lately. It kind of feels like the pleasures of life have been sucked out of me. To make things worse I was an atheist. The more I have been thinking about it, the more I realize the human need for faith. We know the universe began and will end. Trust in the source of life, whether that be God, the universe, or whatever. We cannot know, and for that reason the only answer to the dread is faith. I know, not exactly the answer I wanted either.
seanstrnad 6 months ago
I am a 20 year old female going to college and working and I have been an introvert my whole life and I am going through the EXACT same enlightenment you are describing. I have been searching for people who are going through the same things but I can't seem to find a lot of ppl who can relate. I hope you read this and message back. I could use some discussion time :)
DianeMRomero 6 months ago
Another thing: it seems that many of those stuck in existential angst/depression do it for the sake of feeling superior to others.
TrevorKingKwong 6 months ago
@TrevorKingKwong
perhaps the point is not so much to be superior over another but to detach yourself from a reality you dislike and cannot accept (each person for their own reasons)
MagicalSunrise1984 6 months ago
@MagicalSunrise1984
I can't say for everyone, but I felt that when I did this in the past (and still do presently), it was because I thought my reality was more valid than everyone else who thought different. This doesn't seem to be 'reality,' though. I think in 'reality,' there is no correct form of reality. Knowing that we know nothing (I borrow from Socrates) is true enlightenment--even knowing the fact that we know nothing prohibits us, if we attach ourselves to it.
TrevorKingKwong 6 months ago
@TrevorKingKwong
my belief is that people do know, but not everything
in some cases, people discover new things that change the whole picture
and makes them feel as thought they knew nothing
at the same time, there can be cases when people know something, but there are other vital things they need to learn
this is a source of both hope and frustration - and doesn't always change one's state of existance
for example: when one is "stuck" in a "limbo" - until they don't jump up out ...
MagicalSunrise1984 6 months ago
I think showing love towards other people is ultimately a selfish act because it seems we love in order to be happy. Yet love must be completely selfless in order for the receiver to fully feel it, and consequently yourself. And it seems there's nothing wrong with that.
If we only use rational thought to think, we will always end up depressed. Life needs irrationality. Should we consider rational thought as important as it seems? (Not rhetorical.)
TrevorKingKwong 6 months ago
Krishnamurti explains so logically. don't think about tomorrow, love and enjoy now!
fusionhar 6 months ago
I saw your first video because of your video about K's book. Then, I saw this one. You are very young, full of potential and light, and I see what you are going through, your thoughts, your feelings, and its not easy to express it. Be patient. Everything will be ok. May you find happiness uninvited with many blessings.
Justwantaccount1 6 months ago
Through philosophy, I also adopted a strong skepticism, almost nihilism, like you describe. Though, I embrace it now. There is no inherent meaning to life, in my opinion, just this raw emotion and intellect inside every individual, it is hard to describe. I relate to what you said about expressing yourself, I think it might be why I like art so much- as some kind of medium for expression. Regardless, I find myself loving life as an idea; a meaningless, absurd, terrifying, brilliant idea.
abyssus99 7 months ago
Do you have to ask "why" for something you love or something you're passionate about? I was suffering from existential depression for a while. I found that it all changed once I GAVE my life direction. You can question every bit about life and IMO it IS pointless, but it really is what you make of it. It sounds like you need some direction or something to be passionate about. I Heart Huckabees is a good movie about existential depression. It'll put a smile on your face :).
chanatponheng 7 months ago
Great video. I am 30 and I've had severe clinical depression since I was a child... hearing someone else express the kinds of feelings I myself have also had was comforting and made me feel less alone. I have subscribed to your channel. Thank you!
eraserhead321 7 months ago
Whe i read this quote by Sartre, i finally became at ease with myself because it showed me a truth about myself: "Like all dreamers, I mistook disenchantment for truth".
We, people with existential depression, do that exactly. Hope it works.
makidtrej 8 months ago 2
@makidtrej
interesting view, i don't believe all existential depressionate people do the same tho
MagicalSunrise1984 6 months ago
Whe i read this quote by Sartre, i finally became at ease with myself because it showed me a truth about myself: "Like all dreamers, I mistook disenchantment for truth".
We, people with existential depression, do that exactly. Hoe it works.
makidtrej 8 months ago
That's because life is pointless! All we get out of it is happiness that we never needed nor desired prior to our conception and unnecessary and utterly avoidable pain and suffering that is inflicted by one generation on to the next in an insane game of 'pass the hot potato'. It takes intelligence and intensive and prolonged abstract contemplation to fully appreciate this and most people are just too self-centred to do anything other than dismiss it. I'm exploring this phenomenon in my videos.
DerivedEnergy 8 months ago
I know exactly how you mean, as an INFP myself I've been going through an existential crisis for the past couple of years, definitely some soul searching involved to little avail as life seems to have an iron grasp on me
aragorn1780 8 months ago
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Expect the worst. That way you will not be disappointed.
gasto5 9 months ago
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rumbal 9 months ago
The reason you feel depressed is because you think life should be something and it isn´t. But is a great contradiction to hold on to that ideal of life when you will face death any moment. Just don´t have that preconception of life, that life should be like this or like that and therefore the idea of absurdity, pointlessness, having no sense will dissapear because what feeds it is your own judgement and knowledge on life, which are absolutely limited.
rumbal 9 months ago
@rumbal
at the same time, you can't act like you know nothing at all\
sense of judgement is vital for your own survival
for example, sense of moral judgement
and also - the ability to control your actions
yet there are some things you can't control - so those you can either just accept
or maybe you cannot - and then you are frustrated and depressed
you say "release all anger"
i say "i can't just turn to ignorance to bring a smile on my face - that's to live in a lie"
MagicalSunrise1984 6 months ago
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rumbal 9 months ago
when you think after-death has no point is because you have the knowledge that life has to have a form you already can recognize and obvoiusly death can never satisfy any state of life you have already experience. So don´t expect things from life, live every moment like you don´t know a thing don´t try to direct life in any direction, for only then you can discover and learn truly. Perhaps you can use soooooome knowledge from time to time but not in existencial things my lady.
rumbal 9 months ago
From my personal experiences with depression, both my own and other people's close to me, I feel it is safe to say you are not experiencing symptoms of depression. At the very least not sever depression. I wouldn't worry about it. If you can accept how you feel and try and learn more about yourself from that experience I'm sure it'll make it all better and worth it.
Hookom 9 months ago
I've come across as feeling like you since I was 15, and seeing you express yourself in this way is wonderful. The advice I can give you is that you're valuable; that you me and everyone else belong to a monic system of parts and take on an endomorphic image. Pain for example proves that love exist and peace and war cannot be one without the other.
Cschive 9 months ago
this video kinda freaked me out..................because no one knows what goes on in my head or understands it....but you took the word right out of my thoughts and you said them just like i do.... it was like your were litterally reading my mind.. and iv never found anyone else like that till now :)
zoeelovessyouu 10 months ago
I'm glad I'm not the only one who turns to Alan Watts for their existential crisis. :) I'm extremely interested in Taoism but what Watts says sort of reinforces my existential thoughts but once I've accepted an ideal it confuses me and leads to feelings of despair. Like the concept that you can't make a mistake because it is impossible to judge events as "positive" or "negative" since you have no idea how they impact everything else. Is there such thing as a waste of time?
Tengent 10 months ago
The greatest joke in the universe is life. Everything ever accomplished and anyone ever alive will one day be dead and forgotten and totally wiped from existence leaving zero evidence that anything ever happened.
Lelldorin84 10 months ago
@Lelldorin84 But we had some fun while we were at it.
l1is1the1coolest 9 months ago
Tool - The Grudge (Lyrics)
ezemdi 10 months ago
Maybe you're a star seed. Have you ever heard of indigo children? I am one, and you might also be.
InMooseWeTrust 10 months ago
Oh my god, I feel the same way. You have no idea how comforting it is though to know someone feels the same way. Take comfort in the thought that there are others with similar thinking patterns as you and you are not alone. We are all human and the human condition is odd in itself. This helps me accept the reality :) (or illusory world as it seems) Creativity is most of our outlet for feeling okay with the world it seems. To get some kind of message across makes us feel good. We need a purpose.
BeAsTm0aD 10 months ago
Take Niacin for depression it's a wonderful vitamin
jackievalson 10 months ago
You should watch the movie "Waking Life" Very relevant to what you're talking about. It changed the way I think about everything. Great movie.
Soultrip89 10 months ago
Understand you completely!!! Great words!
RaoulDukeDrGonzo 10 months ago
@nwalkerm thanks for making the video, i can relate with all that you've said, moreso recently. I've started to realise exactly what is meant by 'ignorance is bliss'. good luck
dannymcc1 11 months ago
And of course we will always be alone. No INFP ENFP W/E is alike. I believe in sidereal astrology so much, this connected me back to spirituality, which healed me a bit. The only REAL thing that can heal us is LOVE and relationships. I think INFP's have an obsessive thinking pattern...?
Anyone agree.
littleflowwer 11 months ago
Actualdepression is like when you are driving a car, and you feel as ifANY MOMENT now you could totally go insane. Insane as to the point of being manic but staying in control, coming home and crying was how I would cope after a monthI kept thinking that if wedestroy each other then our body will automatically try to destroy ourself, and I though my body was trying to destroy me and I though my mind wanted me to kill myself.The real thing is staying intouch withhumanity. Do good itwill come back
littleflowwer 11 months ago
That isn't depression, that is a train of thought, it is negative, and a circling obsessive question, but not depression.
TRUST ME. I didn't know what depression was until I felt it.
at around night time i would feel as if I were going to throw up. It was a great sense of fear that I would loose control. I had NO MORE MEANING in my life. And you have to find meaning. I would come home and the only release would be crying. I didn't smile for 3 months straight, I didn't think about anything.
littleflowwer 11 months ago
@littleflowwer
I've been depressed over school, work, boyfriends, etc. And that is just how we think. I think the idealist will never be fullfilled in this lifetime.
But ACTUAL DEPRESSION. It is the worst thing ever. I also have some time of obsessive compulsive thing and that made it worse. I also would feel tense and I started to get really really REALLY Evil. Like I was listening to black/dark metal about murder and crap. I wanted to get out of this world so bad.
littleflowwer 11 months ago
@littleflowwer well depression in itself is a way to help us face our problems. if we didn't become depressed, we wouldn't notice that something was going awry, nor would we have time to contemplate our problems. I mean, I've experienced different types of 'depression'... I just think that there is more than one type of depression. Being manic depressive is much more intense, and I don't think it's much on the same sphere as typical depression or even severe depression.
nwalkerm 11 months ago
Great video. I'm 43 and have felt the same way for most of my life. Have you read any Alan Watts? He's helped me with my head quite a bit.
fallspeed 11 months ago 2
@fallspeed yes, i do love watts :)
nwalkerm 11 months ago 2
I can relate to everything you said, as many people here seem to do. I have just recently started reading Notes From The Underground too, and I saw that you had a review up on it. I wont watch your review until I've finished the book. Im about 1/4th into it and wow, what Dostoevsky says in that book resonates so much with me. It's like when you opened the door to questioning and philosophy, you can never shut it again without deceiving yourself, which too would make you feel bad.
Fr0ggeh86 1 year ago
@Fr0ggeh86 Sometimes I curse the time I got into philosophy, but then again, I don't think it was much of a coincidence, rather it was kinda inevitable. Some people are thinkers I guess. Wow, now Im starting to sound full of myself :). Anyway, good video, I totally recognize your thoughts in myself. Sorry I have written somethings strange, Im swedish so sometimes I word and spell stuff wrongly. And on a last note, you are really cute ;).
Fr0ggeh86 1 year ago
i know what you mean.. sometimes i have this feeling of "whats the point, you're gonna die and then whats all you've worked for worth?" i really hate it, i feel like its just making me a pessimistic person rather than a realist. I want to live life to my fullest, and appreciate what i have, not just think "its all eventually gonna end so whats the point"
IlikepurpleXP 1 year ago
I can totally relate that feeling of seen the whole world pointless. Career, jobs, relationships, money, status, etc. It's so important in society that it seems boring. It means you're aware of some of the layers that others might not be able to see.
For me its like I believe their is an afterlife, I read about this stuff and have gotten signs that are unexplainable. For me its like a cycle of thinking about life and it is sort of depressing because its hard to relate to others when you see it.
velvet123 1 year ago
I see the World as a place where ppl are not running at their fullest potential. It seems that ppl have slipped into a traditional Mode (where they stay with what has already been done). I think that you are Waking up to world that we live in a pointless world, I think that its time for us to Break Free!!!
xavier3961 1 year ago
you have NO idea how good it feels to hear someone express every single thought i've been ruminating over for about a year now. existential depression is the lowest of the low. it sure would be nice to be jolted out of.
avedic 1 year ago
this ought to help:
/watch?v=YU3mEOw1gRQ
;)
You pretty much figured the world out, so now that you have that out of the way, you can just go out and enjoy it. :)
l337pwnage 1 year ago
I can relate.....to everything you just said.
laurarox01 1 year ago
even the dinosaurs. I wanted to say though, through dealing with these thoughts I have come to my own definition of why I can become genuinely interested in this world. The fact of the matter is that, for whatever reason, we DO exist-and there are many of us that share that condition. Why, when presented with this information, would we assume that we are here to do anything but observe this existence, and share it with our fellow 'existers'. I really suggest meditation if you haven't already t
9Firehawk9 1 year ago
I have been dealing with these things lately, myself. The underlying problem in my opinion is that there aren't enough people in this world that acknowledge that they actually exist to begin with, and more importantly that others exist around them. When dealing with existential depression, especially the spiritual part (you mention nihilism) intelligent people can't help but see that there is a potential for the idea that this is all one big sandcastle, therefore you and all traces of you will
9Firehawk9 1 year ago
you are in the delusion, therefore not being realistic. you may want to inquire more into what you feel, see and perceive. understandings will unfold with time. see if you are putting a screen between you and the world. and to be honest, I'm quite in the same situation. On one side we seem to become more and more conscious and free, and on the other more and more self absorbed. I dunno'.
philinmotion 1 year ago
@philinmotion well i would say there is definitely a sort of screen between me and 'reality', but I don't know if it's me being unrealistic if i can't find my way out. i think that it's more so understanding the world from a different perspective that causes the rift, but the difficult part is coming to terms with the realizations that i've been confronted with. i suppose that may come in time, but i think we're all in our own delusions either way.
nwalkerm 1 year ago
you're getting off the assembly line that we're born into
TheWizzardOfRandom 1 year ago
@TheWizzardOfRandom I think you watched "The Wall" too many times. ;p
l337pwnage 1 year ago
A moneyless,classless,stateless communities of humanity expressing our freedom in creative harmonious cooperation for a world that is so POTENTIALLY AND ACTUALLY nourishing. Capitalism in any form, Statist or Corporatist is the denial of our common humanity in a politically manipulated,tyrannical armed MARKET SYSTEM of artificial scarcity that is designed to perpetuate the enslavement of immense humanity for material interest of the criminal ruling elite
arzoyan 1 year ago 2
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swosene 1 year ago
The only passion I have left is learning as well... I think that the more conscious you become the more successively depressed you also become
JimmyJoyce77 1 year ago
"Death is not an event in life: we do not live to experience death. If we take eternity to mean not infinite temporal duration but timelessness, then eternal life belongs to those who live in the present. Our life has no end in the way in which our visual field has no limits."
Ludwig Wittgenstein
ww1313 1 year ago
@ww1313 amazing quote, exactly what i had to read at this moment, thank you!
FactorCerveza 1 year ago
Honey, take it from someone much older who was once like you: very beautiful and young (I'm a guy, but it's the same thing), thoughtful and intelligent, who on the outside seemed to have everything going for him, but went through this. If you're not putting us on, and you're sincere here in your videos...
You're right: life ultimately has no meaning. That makes it up to you, whether you will live in depression and self-absorption, or enjoy the mysterious, undefined thing of living.
ctd...
apesterific 1 year ago
Most thoughtful people think about these things. You're not alone. And yes, you're right, many artists use this as a jumping off part to write, paint, film...
Your videos are your art.
I suggest looking to others: the Existential writers like Sartre and Camus, especially "The Myth of Sisyphus" which discusses directly the meaning of life. Even Woody Allen's "Annie Hall" discusses it, as do many of his movies. (He finds enjoyment through comedy.)
apesterific 1 year ago
Continuing.. But some day Woody Allen will die, and in 200 years, hardly anyone will even know who he was...
You make decisions every moment how you will live. It's up to you.
There's a quote, don't know who said it: "Life is like you're on stage to play the violin in front of a big crowd, but don't know how to play it and have to learn it as you go."
Again, highly recommend you read Camus' "The Myth of Sisyphus."
apesterific 1 year ago
i understand. wish you the better.
otherworlds13 1 year ago
I have to say that honestly I can relate to you and your feelings. I’ve had the dark cloud, and the feeling of hopelessness. While it feels like the pit of nothingness, in reality you are at the mouth of something new.
chunda30 1 year ago
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chunda30 1 year ago
wow! this is the best video i have seen in a long time. you stated all the things that i have felt as well. i think your onto something big. your mind is very much like mine. its great to see another person that thinks like this! it makes me feel less alone. i think not thinking about these things is what is abnormal! this level of introspection is rare today.
benjorgensen1 1 year ago
I think you need to go out and have fun or play video games.
You think to much, and you keep thinking you are depress. If you think your happy, you'll be happy.
Johnnyboybravo 1 year ago
wow you pretty much described me in a nutshell, except I also have derealization. Derealization and existential depression seem to go hand in had like maybe people like us are more susceptible to the disease. I'll be posting a video pretty soon so, tell me what you think
enlightenedanarcho 1 year ago
I can relate to that existential angst. One way I've found really helpful is working through art & imagination, & meditation. These have been really helpful for me.
thepathlesspath 1 year ago
My biggest issue has been putting in all this effort to improve my perception and feeling alone and unappreciated, but also realizing that the feelings of belonging and appreciation are illusory and meaningless to the pursuit of true perception. They are false confirmations of an unimportant self. it is difficult to think that I am at war over my own perception and sense of being and that others are simply grasping blindly. Here and there a bit of wisdom, but not much serious effort.
Rybot9000 1 year ago
I fail to see any meaning in life but i cant even imagine a meaningful different existence so i am just another fool chasing that euphoria.Depression comes from dissapointment,dissapointment comes from holding expectations and expectations about the concept of existence arise from the individual valuing illusions and basing happiness on them.But attachment is meaningless just like detachment is.0-1(222222)-0.<-- that is existence :P.
moxito1 1 year ago
We give meaning to our actions cause we imagine an euphoric state of mind following their end. Our whole life is that simple concept: a loop of different scenarios but the core of the concept is the same: achieving euphoria.We cant escape it.Euphoria is the memory of happiness and the faith that in the future it might come again.Can you really live the moment?No its allready gone.
moxito1 1 year ago
There's a movie I recommend you to watch, which might help you to see two different existential ideas, and how it helped me to see the world differently. It's called "I heart Huckabees".
Being an idealist is tough sometimes because we go through existential "meltdowns" and dilemmas often, and it's difficult to get out of it for a while.
But I consider these episodes as part of an essential process to make myself a better person, and a good time to analyze/evaluate my character.
EmeraldxFairy 1 year ago
Thanks for making this video. There are plenty of people out there, who feel the same as you. Hell the 1990s were full of them. Then pop music happened, and everyone tried to be happy again.
Half of the people either look for help (medication, pills, alcohol) and the other half keep their mouths shut because they are afraid of being prescribed anti-depressants.
If you work on yourself, you change the world. And you GIVE meaning to life. What is a painting but some paint smeared on a canvas?
TheFaustianMan 1 year ago
I don't see it as depression. I see it as acceptance of stark reality.
NeverDieAgain79 1 year ago
Cool video. Honesty is always a good start when the journey to "self" begins. Thank you for sharing.
RPJoey 1 year ago
Never stop learning.
acternasoul 1 year ago