Dating Tips - Does No ALWAYS Mean No?

[nickkingcool]

open your wormhole 

[zukodude487987]

He could be a murderer, a rapist, a wierdo or worse, he could be boring o_0

[glasscitadel12]

Hey, Dan, Jennifer looks awesome. U two seem to be a perfect match.

[thanosofbx]

you too are so cute together =)

[supasmits]

also she's a pisces(feb 27) and naturally they tend not to want to tell you no for"fear of hurting one's feelings" oh how nice of you "rolls eyes", but anyways how would u treat that scenario?

[supasmits]

a better question is does yes always mean yes? i asked a coworker(ive known for nearly a yr) out for a date 3 months ago(valentines day btw) and she said yes but our work schedules interact and when we decide on a certain day 2 get off 2gether there always seem to b a reason she cant make it(school, study,visit her dad,etc.). she sounds like she wants 2 go when i bring it up(ive asked her like 4 other times since) but never seem 2 initiate the conversation or suggest a makeup day.

[kevinc1001]

Shes a bimbo and he's probably a douche bag. Perfect combination. I bet if the guy was rich, good looking and drove a nice car it would be fine. If not your screwed.

[chchuy94]

why do they always have a douche bag, gay bar beverage in front of them?

[Askaks]

@chchuy94 Well... as a woman, I'd say it's totally her idea hahahaha, unless he's gay :p

[goj1799]

dear dan and jenn i asked a girl out with a text a month ago and she said no but she is always staring at me and everybody tells me she likes me. what should i do?

[shmoofoobean44]

@goj1799 ask her in person -.- a txt is never a way to ask anything

[Agent1W]

A woman could tell me 'No' the first time, but then she just might regret it and come back to say 'Yes'. I have seen indecision from women before. 

[123perrin]

ur supposed to have a reasonable set of tits if ur going to wear ur top low cut like that. please, wear a turtle neck next time = /

[humanyoda]

This dude benefits this show about as much as a 5th leg would benefit a cow.

[saigongentle]

hi i am in this situation. and i am so regret for what ive done. but i really wish i can have another chance to see her and explain for what i ve done. this is the girl i will only feel so nervous when talkin to her

[5959512]

if a girl tells me no once, then she can fuck herself



[TheVideosWePost]

LOL just "Pretend" Shes a real person because she's totally not

[TheArsanist88]

Dan... I hate to share my name with you. This is ALL about confidence! Why the hell are you advising people about things they might not even believe in!

[TheArsanist88]

You guys are all idiots, there are not many absolute truths what you need to do is read the law of Attraction and learn to believe positive things (you know, when you feel it's true?) then you keep that up and it becomes part of YOUR reality but most of this advice isn't necesarily true to every one that reads it like if I was raised to bealive All women are liars my belief would guide me to that conclusion. You become mostly what you believe in

[TheArsanist88]

Pretty much you become what you believe you are and/or will be so you better learn about Belief and confidence because it is more absolute than what a lot of people believe.

[thegraverful]

time matters, more than we think, also in this case!

[pregnantwithtv]

What if she blinks once for yes?

[codyh1998]

anyone else notice dan's hair is thinning?

[brokenarrow2222]

In the United States - No means No -. Remember, No bitch is worth spending the rest of your life in prison.

[missemmalabemma]

jennifer looks like febi ( cant spell it) from friends is she? lol

[LovingThisSite]

agree, but dont think she is.

[megaannnxoox]

omg she accaully does :)

[scoutbr00]

@missemmalabemma phoebe you mean? i dont think she is very look-alike, well my opinion

[nasaguy]

Nope ... it's not Phoebe :)

[MrBlackmagicman]

thank you?

[robpage1990]

Roman Polanski would love this title

[mikey7619]

If the girl finds him attractive its being percistant... if she finds him to be totally unattractive hes being push,needy,clingy and stalkerish and all the other terms women like you use

[nessaaldarion]

A perfect example of this is Edward Cullen. His generally creepy behavior of following Bella around and watching her while she slept was "romantic" because he's (apparently) attractive. Now, imagine McLovin' doing that to you.

Enough said.

[HoratioNel]

Don't kid yerself baby, "NO" ALWAYS means "NO"!! However, NO does offer two great benefits - you save by only having to buy a Big-Mac for one person and are sure of getting an undisturbed night's sleep. Now isn't that something?

Regards

Horatio Nelson

[rockmusicmanic]

How long schould you let her get to know her before you make your move?

[totallymageful]

@rockmusicmanic Depends on how well you guys get along. If you guys are constantly talking and laughing all the time then you can probably ask her out somewhere within the first few weeks

[detriplea]

Dan is like Dr Wilson from House MD

[skaterking15]

who is dumb anough to actually do this ?

half the time anyone takes advice from others, it doesnt work.

so best choice would just be to learn and do things by urselfs.

Confidence Is Golden

[Gancia113]

well maybe it's bad advice,

actully it's no advice it's just, being yourself and respectfull to a women, get to know her and let she get to know you before considering for a relationship :) that's no advise, that's logic; :)

bad advice is like, hey say this when you go to her: " did it hurt? when you fell out of heaven", thats bad advice :)

[Michi985]

I am in love with my best friend. How do I get the guts to tell him?

[krazy16dude]

Offer a BJ, he can't say no.

[edgarSmile]

thats a REALLY good answer dude, if u were a video i wouldve given u 5 stars

[jboomy92]

LMFAO

[jeweenbboy]

first get more flirty so he duznt see u as a best friend, then ask him 2 go 2 cinema or sumthing... he'll get the drift... thats how we europeans do it ;)

[chezo84]

tell him/her you love them

[alfondnumb]

that is being too desperate. talk to him/her , go out with groups that get smaller den only 2 of u . when u feel comfortable and confident den confess

[findyourfetish]

or... you just just find a willing chick at fellowsingles dotcom

[leafsfan9917]

how about, ya wana come home with me baby lol

[juajohn]

ha ha serial raper haha

[kainedamo]

Why is it though that a woman would just assume a guy could be a rapist or a stalker or something? It takes guts to walk up to someone and ask them out, ya know?

[darkshiney]

Thats what a serial murder wants....there guts. lol

[Michi985]

Yeah. But you don't know her. Set up for NO!

[treetheoak]

man there lots of guys that keep asking one of my friends out even though she has a BF, and my answer stays the same. "shes happy you know, if you really love her then youl want her to be happy. even if it doesnt involve you."

[jdiddy666]

"shes happy you know, if you really love her then youl want her to be happy. even if it doesnt involve you."

no offense, BUT that is some BULLSHIT.

[treetheoak]

i know, but that bullshit helps them get over her, well most of the time.

[Michi985]

uh NO! If you truly love her, you just want her to be happy over your own happiness.

[MizzHelena]

you guys rok, another fab vid. i think u should go for it if its what you want, and its true some ppl might be going thru a bad day

[dadac123]

shut the fuck up! like being controlled? :)

[tailgunner2]

I take zero chances on this one. For me, when someone says "no", it means no, zero exeptions, and I slam the mental brakes.

[Nightavenger2]

@tailgunner2 Exactly. But some people are to headstrong to just give up, or are being think that because persistance has worked in The Notebook, Two and Half Men, Wedding Crasher's, etc that it will happen in their situation. The beauty of NO is the person is polite enough to give you a frank answer, and not some bs clichie or some other bs answer.

[PaulAustraliaTeam]

I have found the woman can go crazy, and the man done nothing wrong than be himself.

[joshandmattsurfin]

you people kinda say the same stuff over and over in the last three vids

[dissinitbig]

blue martinis every weekday at 11? hm

[mrbill1000]

wow this person had an excellent question, thank you for answer too.

[WKRPinCINN]

if a girl says no 2 times in a row, then she means yes, right? because, you know, 2 wrongs make a right...

[PaulAustraliaTeam]

It is a skill to get no, until you get a yes, no is not failure at all.

I tried for 20 no's in 2 weeks and 20 numbers also, once I got the yes I was looking for then I knew she was a yes Girl. Yesssss yesss yesss. I forgot all about the no Girls and focused on the Yesssss very simple maths.

[matt357]

what do you mean?

[quagz]

man this videos are addictive, I don't know if the guy is gay or madly in love with jenn.

it's so awkwardly awesome

oh and the advice is sound

[mischatal]

There is a simple a simple law which applies to both sexes. The more often you meet a person/ the more time you are around that person, the more attractive you become to that other person. This even explains why it is possible to be sexually attracted to a person you do not like!

[giants445]

how old should you be when you go on your first date.

[LordVoldemortTheOne]

14+

[jonnycosma]

I'm pretty sure half of this is bullshit...

[WKRPinCINN]

more than half my friend... try ALL of it is garbage

[spyco3tard]

thx for all the other comments on my other vids.

and this is a looooonnn conversation that i am not really willing to argue right this second. so i withdrawl my prevous statements.

c ya around

[rosskay]

I like this video. I think your videos are very useful and helpful.I know mr calrson is your freind but the video on porn has some really pompous argument against women being bent up about men watching it or having straying eyes.He starts out with it"depends" on the guy but doesn't really elaborate enough on when it's not ok,and and ends up sending a messege here like"stfu-stop complaining you insecure uptight prudish b* and deal with it" We need less of that in our media-it reinforces sexism.

[spyco3tard]

while i see your point of view that the media and socity re-enforces the fact that porn is okay. there is also a lot of truth in what he is saying. some women enjoy watching sex in the city, wheras most men like porn. women enjoy scowering the beaches looking for the "hottest man on the beach", men look at porn. i might seem a little biggoted but to a certan extent it is verry true. if you disagree i would love to hear your point of view on this matter. you can etiher send me a pm or reply here

[rosskay]

The issue isnt weather or not its"true"women check out other men or read novels and watch entertaining episodes about relationships like sex and the city(btw, most of my straight guy friends watch that and I don't) The issue is why and who is creating porn(sex in the city not porn,)who the audience is,how its used to profit off of men,the effects of it,and why things like mr clarson is saying is very biased and should be discouraged as sound"advice"coming from a"proffessional"i posted there too.

[SpoComMedia]

Wow, this chachi's game at 1:47 is so bad its almost negative. As in, he would gamekill just being near you.

[Theflash94585]

"Pretend shes a real person"

LOL

[bbllqt219]

u guys r weeeeeiiiirrrddd creepy couple

[JonMorgan1]

Quite a mixed message when rape prevention is premised so much on no meaning no.

[CMINE1]

huh

[mkq0007]

I love that line "Pretend she is a real person; She is."

[onlyAerik]

Again, you totally miss an opportunity to fight rape culture. "no today doesn't necessarily mean no tomorrow."

What you've done is condoned the method of breaking a woman down. Get this in your heads: breaking somebody psychologically only obtains compliance. Not consent.

You two are incompetent.

[SpaceSolar]

I concur. From a psychological perspective, advocating persistence without warning men that said persistence is only a fine line away from forcing company (and possibly other things) on a non-consenting woman is a no-go for anybody claiming competence in this relationship game. I don't want to devalue your other work, but this is an issue you need to address. Crossing that line without knowing it leads to too much pain not to.

[SpaceSolar]

I agree. This is a major issue - if one doesn't watch out, one can easily cross the line from persistence to forcing one's presence and possibly more on a non-consenting woman.

This has not necessarily got to do with what you refer to as "stalking"; this kind of thing happens because people are too polite or uncomfortable to say no at the beginning and too afraid later on - and it can be COMPLETELY UNINTENTIONAL! That's a danger you need to address in a topic like this.

[girlcrazy00000]

Okay, I really take offense at the fact that you're demonizing D&J's good intentions. You should be ashamed.

First, to use a phrase like "rape culture", as if it were akin to pop culture, ethnic culture, or even "goth" culture, is insulting at best, self-righteously solipsistic at worst. To say you've taken this out of context is an epic understatement.

[jonnycosma]

You don't need to make yourself sound intelligent...just say it in simple terms: "Fuck You."

[girlcrazy00000]

Second, yeah, if a woman says 'no' today it doesn't necessarily mean 'no' tomorrow. If she eventually consents to sex and ends up regretting it, that's her OWN fault. Trying so forcefully to defend women you don't even know implies a desperate need for a sense of importance in your life, but nobody needs your salvation.

And don't mention psychology either. I could get technical, but suffice it to say that sex = healthy while logic = unhealthy. That alone renders your entire argument moot.

[cherrylips07]

You two are so amazing, i wish i could be more open about these sort of things with the men i date.

[Bobzeaux]

Why shouldn't no mean no? If you leave her alone when she first rejects you, doesn't that imply that you don't think she's worth chasing after, which should (in theory) make HER want to chase YOU? Or is that theory actually full of crap despite what the PUA community says? -_-

Even if she knows anything about you, she's STILL going to say no to you because by now you're already in the inescapable Friends Only pile.

[DanAndJenn]

Our main goal here is avoiding the "no" whenever possible. In most human dynamics situations (whether it's getting a date or selling a product), your chances of success go down drastically after an initial no. The buyer (the girl) has already made up her mind about you, as opposed to staying open to you. Sure there are exceptions and ways to pull out of it, but you're much better off working your way to a maybe and to a yes than going for the goal up front and ending up with a premature no.

[DanAndJenn]

That's why we go to such great efforts to get any yes from her. Getting her to mentally commit to even having a brief conversation with you is actually a non-verbal "yes", making it more likely you'll get a yes from her about going out, etc.

Note that we're not talking about entering the friend zone where you're one of her girlfriends for the first 9 months.

[DanAndJenn]

And we're not really talking about seduction tactics here, because from our perspective that falls into the "playing games" category and we don't recommend it to the guys who actually want to build a meaningful relationship with a woman - not see how many girls they can pick up. Again, depends on your goal - a "sleep over" or a relationship.

[Bobzeaux]

What do you recommend then? Everyone who wants a meaningful relationship can't ever get anywhere.

[DanAndJenn]

Check out a related video we have on this, can't put the URL here it'll get cut out, but the title is "How to Get Over Shyness & Fear of Rejection to Get the Girl" - you should see it on the right in "related videos".

Can't emphasize this enough though - instead of focusing on what to do IF you get a no, focus on getting her to like you and be open to spending time with you, so you don't get a "no" to begin with. That way it's much more likely to lead to dating and a relationship.

[Bobzeaux]

I've seen all of your vids already (on your getting over shyness video, I commented that being shy is NOT my issue).

Every time I focus on getting her to like me and be open to spending time with me, I still get shot down anyway. They DO like me, just not enough to ever want to actually do anything with me. Why? Some people think that I'm trying too hard. Then I take their advice and take it down a notch or two, then they condemn me for failing because I didn't try hard ENOUGH.

[redsox155]

bobzeaux, read "The Game" by Neil Strauss.

trust me.

[Bobzeaux]

I've read stuff like Strauss' work; lie about yourself, treat the woman like she's nothing, then leave her once you've conned her into sleeping with you. Sorry, but that's not my game.

[redsox155]

Well I doubt this person is in a relationship, because most guys don't get this kind of resistance from their girlfriends. Having sex could lead to a relationship though, so seduction tactics could be just what this guy needs. When she says no, try doing a freeze out. Take away the mood that she was just enjoying. Turn off the music, blow out the candles, turn on the lights, and say "I understand," acting like it doesn't bother you. She'll feel like she's making a mistake and reconsider.

[Bobzeaux]

Tried it. Doesn't work.

[redsox155]

Elaborate. Tell me the situation you were in and what happened.

[Bobzeaux]

What is there to elaborate on? With every rejection I've encountered, I've backed off and remained aloof just like I'm supposed to do. They never cared about it and just went on their merry way to find plenty of other guys.

I'm a challenge and a mystery that nobody wants to overcome or solve.

[redsox155]

My advice was referring to last minute resistance.

[Bobzeaux]

Meaning I suppose that your advice only works if you've somehow managed to squeeze a date from her and you're already in the thick of things?

[redsox155]

Yes it was supposed to apply to the question in the video.

And why the hell would a girl be interested in you if you just don't talk to her. That is not how it is to be done. Stop whining about silly problems. Get in the field, focus on opening then dhv, then qualifying. Info on this is well documented. But it seems your biggest problem is inner game. Unreactiveness is key.

[redsox155]

Here's a challenge for you: Try to get 25 kiss rejections. This takes balls. Please try it, unless of course you have a vagina. I guarantee you will laugh at your old fears.

[Bobzeaux]

Been there, done it. A lack of balls is not the problem. My fears were eradicated years ago.

[quagmirerocks]

so your saying you have never gotten to 25 yet? dude im past a 100 maybe its because i havent brushed my teeth in years though :D

[Bobzeaux]

"why the hell would a girl be interested in you if you just don't talk to her."

I have no idea, but apparently that's how it goes down. "Hey, why isn't this guy trying to get into my pants?" wonders the girl. "I MUST HAVE HIM!!!!!" Glad to know I'm not the only one who sees this as nonsensical.

"it seems your biggest problem is inner game. Unreactiveness is key."

No, my biggest problem is no one wanting to play with me. I'm nonreactive like everyone suggests, but they just look elsewhere.

[redsox155]

Active disinterest is NOT nonsensical. You're interpretation of it is nonsensical. Active disinterest doesn't mean asexuality. It doesn't mean you don't talk to her. Then she's not noticing you.

Ask your questions on a pua forum (RSD and Stylelife are the best) you can get tons of advice.

[Bobzeaux]

What does it mean then? The idea is to demonstrate that you're not easy, that you really couldn't care less about how much attention you get from the girl, right?

[joepnte]

I beg to differ....

As if WOMEN don't play games, even if it's only with make-up, or smiling a certain way, or wearing certain clothes.

You want to exclude "playing games"? Make women wear a tent, like those religious Islamist women. (Maybe their men had the right idea after all, ridiculous as it seemed at first to our Western eyes and "sensibilities".)

This is only ONE aspect upon which your credibility is already 'dead in the water'.

[gossamerwindweb]

I love you guys!!

[undeadbeast]

they switched seats ? lol

[DanAndJenn]

Yep. it's interesting you noticed we switched seats, but you didn't say anything about the completely new set! LOL

Thanks for watching!!

Dan & Jennifer

[koko6041626]

Um I know this isn't your blog site but, me and my girlfreind (were both experimenting a lesbian relationship) and she has had sex with other women many times, but i have had sex with many guys and she hasn't been penetrated yet, i would love to use a strap on to please her but she is just not complying--- what should i do?

[DanAndJenn]

Your question raises a question...

Are you sure that you're doing it to please her - or to please you?

If it's really for her then don't push.

If it's for you, then be honest and tell her that, but still don't push. It's her choice and if you care for her, you should respect her choices.

[pretywoman34]

thank u i do like all u videos have good advice good work keep doing u good work bravo both of u

[arequipa1]

D&J, y'all do a great job. keep it coming! :)

[wolfinside]

This IS great advice, whether it is asking a girl out, or trying to initiate sex, better to lead than to chase. Talk to her, make her laugh, let her tell you about herself and get comfortable. Let her get to know you aren't a creep. If she likes you, and wants to be asked out there will be signs. She might even ask you leading questions or for your number. Same goes for sex, if you do it right, she will be jonesing to have sex with you. Do it wrong and she will run like a wild dear.

[Sv3rdArcher]

loln good advice

[KevinQ]

Great advice yet again.