MST3K - Speech

[eartianwerewolf]

Seriously though this seems like a PSA for Duloc's citizens

[eartianwerewolf]

Keep your feet off the grass, shine your shoes, wipe your.....face! Duloc is, Duloc is, Duloc is a perffeedttt placceeee!!!

[HighPriestXeno]

Think tall, talk tall, stand tall and walk tall. ...shave tall, jump tall, and crouch tall.

[DanzQueen]

Remember! Appearance has A Pear in it!  LOLOLOL

[SinnFein4ever]

I chose my dolls based on their ability to beat the shit out of Ken.

[communistjesus]

I really miss the SATELLITE OF LOVE and IT'S Astronauts of MS3K,

[RImAPhan]

"until you're incredibly turned on" - LMFAO

[RImAPhan]

"Be sure to get a new chin" :D

[RImAPhan]

"There, I said it and I'd say it again if I have to"

[MrJrodarod]

"I will not make the KNEE test!" XD

[StarPalidanKenobi]

plus, the polish gets you high!

[iheartboobies752]

"my postures tall, look, KAWWW KAWWW KAWWW!!!!"

[sirweeze]

3:45 that guy is my hero

[TheLittleHowler]

I died!!! xD

[XaspR8d]

CHAFE TALL

JUMP TALL

CROUCH TALL

[JeonardShadby505]

5:22 The original power stance. Mark Gormley ain't got shit on this mamma-jamma.

[OrmondTheMagnificent]

5:57!!!! Funny as HELL!

[geoflcl]

"Yes, that's Eisenhower's America!"

[C0LL1N]

im the 55,555th viewer wooo hooo!

[PercPhreak]

...WORD!

[IliyaMoroumetz]

@

4:21

Tom: *whispers* He said erect!

*mischievous* Tee-hee. Tee-hee.

[7flyinghecks]

Psssh..that exercise doesn't matter when you are a skier. I can keep my balance no matter how far apart my feet are.

[TheLackofattack]

@7flyinghecks Yeah, you better. I've seen some funny things on the slopes.

[7flyinghecks]

@TheLackofattack LOL! So have I....

[TheLackofattack]

@7flyinghecks Do you do the knee test before you shred?

[7flyinghecks]

@TheLackofattack No, but maybe I should. XD

[TheLackofattack]

@7flyinghecks I do....until i'm incredibly turned on.

[cullenlk88]

Woooooord!

[thefaboloussob]

0:27 Ahh. The album cover of Hall & Oates' "Private Eyes." My Dad has it; true story.

[thefaboloussob]

That "American Idol" quip should be at 3:19, not 7:18; pardon me.

[thefaboloussob]

Rock chalk Jayhawk! Beat OK St! & what the heck do corpses gotta do w/ speech? ...Oh, that other kinda forensics.

[thefaboloussob]

3:44 1. Ironically, it was actually the man w/ good appearance who was drunk. 2. Ironically, this guy won his reelection as one of Hawaii's senators.

[thefaboloussob]

7:18 This is their version of Simon, Paula, & Randy before they let foreigners, Jews, & blacks particip8.

[thefaboloussob]

7:15 Geez. I just want to talk about why I dislike affirmative action, not warm up for the floor exercises for my gymnastics team!

[thefaboloussob]

7:09 That's not how you do the Macarena!

[thefaboloussob]

4:41 ...like The Dirty Heads...like a Dwayne Johnson film.

[Athils]

Did people have trouble standing still without falling over back then?

[CommodoreGroovy]

Oh shit! It's the G-Man at 3:20!

[howdyd000]

Now you're reeady to rub out sunny corleone

[ForeverandayOne]

You're name is gunhavor!

[LivinIsntEasy86]

Shined shoes help with a speech? Sure....... lol

[YoshiFan501]

0:51

[Jaystew17]

Ever see a one eared elephant?lol

[dcbandnerd]

"My posture's good! *SQWAAAK!*"

[Dablkwid0w2008]

I can't believe they made that old man do that twirling his knees

[Shaybe13]

"Make sure your part is gouged into your skull" hahaha

[hanksnow82]

They were yrs ahead of them selves

[RMNCOfficial]

"Women be different than men... word."

[mouse264]

"Yet startlingly erotic! Heeh... heeeeeh."

I love this show so muchhhh.

[Mike28625]

"She always keeps her feet firmly clamped together" -crow- "'Nuf said" Ha!

[MstGuy1]

"Place the palms of your hands on both knees."

Servo: "Wait, I'm kidding."

"Make an easy circular motion with the hands and knees."

Crow: "Until you're incredibly turned on."

[MstGuy1]

Hey, Posture Pals was the definitive last word on posture.

[Theburn77]

"Now you're ready to rub out Sonny Corleone."

[resonanceth]

OMG, it have no idea what Servo was doing at the end or why, but it was hilarious!

[jtlee891]

@resonanceth He was pretending he was the eagle at the end of the film. Notice the crowing.

[JangoFett07]

"Ok...ugh...just do what he says."

[whoisdickieschnabel]

"I like this one cuz it's whiter!" LMAO

[22Hammurabi]

WORD lol

[ChaosCat79]

3:45 That rather bedraggled man is the gym teacher from another MST3K'd short, "Why Study Industrial Arts".

His "acting" hasn't gotten better between the two shorts either... :)

[elusiverobertdenby]

Thank you, E.C. Buehler, for two hilarious shorts.

[Marhaba1973]

Appearance is the basis upon which a girl chooses a new doll.

"I like this one 'cause it's whiter."

LOL!

[TuxKamen]

Sorry if this is a repeat, but was wondering if the male example giver was the guy with the wire rack in "Using Your Voice" (I know both this movie and that one were from Centron, so figured he got around)

[TuxKamen]

Isn't the "Old Farmhorse Type" of speaker the narrator of "Using Your Voice"? I know the movies were made by the same company

[Bayview05]

I laughed til my throat got sore after hearing 8:38

[mangakid19]

"The ear is the human organ a public speaker is most likely to try and impress."

"Right after the nipple."

XD

[FurryMutt]

"Professor Buehler's Day Off!" I fucking lold xD

[ErinIsPunk]

I'm not a flower...

[pdlbean]

Word!

[Jaeger7793]

Is it just me, or does the guy in 6:38 look like Henry Kissinger?

[AkamuSlayer]

I'm still waiting for PSA about how to spot a communist, how to beat your wife and how to opress blacks.

[02chevyguy]

@AkamuSlayer Make sure you alert me when they do appear...I plan on taking notes. :)

[HaileyVerge]

I like this one cuz it's whiter. Hmm hmm.

[reb2550]

8:39

haha wtf?

[calabreserock]

make sure your part is GOUGED into your skull

[yaywhewclips242]

"If U were a tree what tree would U B?" the infamous query for Katherine Hepburn from Babs WAWA. "GAY COLORS??" It's B/W. and of course PINK all the way.

[kcool134]

Love the Posture Pals reference at the beginning

These guys are hilarious XD

"SPEECH! SPEECH!"

"Women be different than men... word."

"I'm nor a FLOWER!!!" XD

[Nixel85]

....Do I Please You?

[RaphBlade7]

7:14 - "Knee Test?" You've got to be kidding me. (Note: the "Knee Test" is apparenty an early version of the "Macarena" that never quite caught on as a popular dance.)

[RaphBlade7]

5:40 - Miss Prim is wearing a wire rack (a "Using Your Voice" reference).

[RaphBlade7]

5:20 - [Crow as Prof. Buehler:] WORD

[RaphBlade7]

0:58 - Contrasting your "gay" colors?

[s2h53]

Now your ready to rub out Sonny Corleone!

[MrVictorClark]

I love MST3K, and this short actually helped me out in my Public Speaking class.

[mardeninthegarden]

@MrVictorClark Have you been doing the knee test, then?

[JesterSentinel]

I'm not a flower!

[korso55]

"Women be different than men......word."

[Izone508]

After the human nipple

XD i needed an oxygen tank after that

[TalkinXbox]

Plenty of lip and tongue action!

[Brett2031]

lmfao!!!  "you MUST appear and you must have matter!!" ROFL!!

[gothtigger92]

"Shake that money maker!" XD

[Eriil]

I like this one cuz it's whiter!

lmfao. Oh god, I love this one.

[krows31]

poo poo ca ca sissi pants eh...

[Skitchtehwolf]

"I'm not a FLOWER"

[PyrozPlayground]

6:22 LOL

[kwolf002]

The guy that is speaking c. 5'00" looks exactly like the Mr. DoiPLEEEEEAAASEYOU" in 'Using your voice'

[Malithion666]

It is him. Both we're made with the advisement of "Professor Buehler" AKA Mr. "Do I Please You?"

Weird guy.

[yarisplay06]

That narrator makes me think that somewhere an Atari 2600 is missing a voice synthesizer.

[Breathfire2001]

5:20 KILLED ME

WOOOORRRDD

[falariem]

LOL @ 2:46

[daewooSterns]

5:20 hillarious!!!!

[WAAAAAAAAAAAY]

"you must appear and you must have matter"

[guilmon182]

Shave Tall, Eat Tall, and Crouch Tall.

[purpleshamrock17]

"I like this one cuz it's whiter" (I laughed for like a minute after that!)

"plus the polish gets you high"

"make sure your part is GAUGHED into your skull!"

"next we have the he-man, athletic type...Grandpa?"

"You'll look poised and dignified...uh, no you wont"

[Efferts]

That was a huge friggin' part in his hair.

[purpleshamrock17]

to Efferts: I know! Who cares that much about a part? Seriously, that was ridiculous.

[Jlee777Numa]

Can you imagine getting ready to do a speech by doing the knee dance???!!! LOL Hilarious!!!

[Darksora46]

Im not a flower!

LOL

[Motorbike131]

Omg the knee test during the speech LOL

[seanThree16]

The real funny part starts at 7:08

That's real nice...security!

[prettysplash5bell]

Plus the polish gets you high!

[wearetired]

don't do this DURING the speech.

[1000huzzahs]

flowers that had gay colors were indeed judged harshly in the 50's...

[cigar420]

I will not make the knee test

[kdraper2007]

After the human nipple! LOL!

[DrGregoryHouseIT]

Do I have to tell TALL tales, too? LOL

[montyburns9999]

Make sure your part is gouged into your skull.

LOL

[KonradAdenauer]

And crouch tall? Now that's important!

[JellicleKitten]

Servo's "eagle" cries at the end kill me every single time. I can't believe I always forget this one.

[ne0nLIGHTS]

"Remember, 'appearence' has a pear in it."

hahaha

[berryjinin]

did you guys here at 4:22 "he said erect" haha

[baalslayer03]

wow how old are you?

[berryjinin]

seventeen, which would explain it

[berryjinin]

but i mean the robot repeated it not the movie said it

[yaywhewclips242]

Yeah, pretend i'm a tree. what is Baba walters interviewing me. "If U wewa a twee what kind a twee would U B??" Gay colors??? Fabulous!!

[razbizzle]

"Now you're a can-opener, metal and shiny and taciturn."

xD lmaooo

[iaintnocommie]

"Next we have the he-man athletic type..."

"Grandpa?!"

ROFL

[w8geek]

Crouch tall, dammit!

[Zando24]

lol at the end

[ripvain]

Knee dance: 7:00

"make an easy circular motion with the hands and knees"

"Until you are incredibly turned on"

[xbutterflyrainx]

Rated 2 stars on accident! =( Sorry!

[RaphBlade7]

The sexual innuendo of Servo's comment at 0:25 goes along great with the "Use plenty of Lip & Tongue Action" comment from "MST3K - Using Your Voice" (short).

[RaphBlade7]

[Tom Servo:]

"After The Human Nipple!" - 0:24 - 0:25 (possibly best to start at 0:23)

[RaphBlade7]

I love the riff Servo made after the narrator's comment about the human ear at 0:21

[Narrator:]

"The Ear is the human organ, the public speaker is most likely to try to impress, as he makes a speech."

[Tom Servo:]

"After The Human Nipple!" - 0:26

(I have to admit, I got "cracked up" a few time as I was typing this, it's the kind Riff that makes you laugh the more you think about it.)

[sisyphusorianus9787]

Posture Pals WAS the definitive film on posture! Here-here, Mister Nelson! Huzzah!

[mememe2323]

I will not take the knee test!

[Evertide05]

Professor Buehler is an expert on lip and tongue action AND doing the knee dance? I think he had...issues to work out....

[Awesome4Prez]

"Ummm..Is your speech over, Mr. Johnston ?"

[gpwerner]

It's Prof. "Lip and Tongue Action" Buehler himself at 5:20--showing the nation how the gangstaz say the words, yo.

[Ozker1313]

"I'm not a flower!"

[t1mmysrevenge]

Gotta love MST3K.

[angelonair]

Word! ^_^

[CBear47]

So, I was drinking chocolate milk while watching this. Anyone know how to dry out a keyboard?

[sisyphusorianus9787]

Supreme choice of words, cbear!

Among the finest of comments on this page!

[ZEROEVILDARKCOOL]

l USUALLY FLIP IT OVER SHAKE IT PUT IT UNDER MY BED AND SLEEP ON IT

IF IT DOESNT WORK IN THE MORNING TAKE IT APART AND DRY IT OUT

[daken000]

@CBear47 a new keyboard

[cyberdragonessmaster]

@CBear47 at lest it wasn't soda

[CBear47]

@cyberdragonessmaster Soda may be stickier; but the chocolate milk smells. (typed from a different computer)

[purpleshamrock17]

"Shake that money maker!"

Servo's scream at the end! hahaha

[squaghetti]

Remember: Appearance has a PEAR in it!

[DrGregoryHouseIT]

The eyes of Kenneth Mars!

[funnyscares595]

4:20 that's what she said

[jdogbig1]

make sure your part is gouged into your scalp

[Buzzygirl42]

"Women be different than men!

Word."

LMAO!

[chepackard]

"plus the polish gets you high"

bahahahahahaha

[AutobotLover]

why cause we like you

[kdraper2007]

reminds me of the filmstrips we had to watch in school.

[servo6620]

Damn !! People in the 50s really needed alot of guidance

[cwright5gmu]

apparently if you do the knee test, you'll look poised and dignified...hahaha!!

[634devil]

it was a mistake to drink something during the knee dancing part.

[ArrantPrac]

I find it rather ironic that an invisible narrator is telling us about the importance of good appearance when speaking.

"You must appear, and you must have matter"... apparently not this guy!

[whoisdickieschnabel]

Great point!

[DrGregoryHouseIT]

The eyes of Kenneth Mars!

[photographermatt]

Knee test ? do not do that in public ! Thats just weird!

[Fred13B]

"The lion senses weakness and closes in, chewing on his hamstrings."

[ViggoGirl9]

"Now you are a can opener. Metal and shiney and taciturn."

The knee test killed me but I really lost it when the guys chimed in with, "Yeah!!! That's it, baby!!! Shake that money maker!!!"

Bwahahahaha!!! I laughed so hard I think I hurt myself.

xD

[TackyRackyComixNEO]

"...Plus, the polish gets you high!"

[WhoseLineFanXD]

"WOOORD."

"My posture's good! REEEE! REEE!"

[cncash87]

Crow: "Make sure your part is gouged into your skull!"

[Mariamousie]

I am literally laughing so hard I am crying. The knee test may possibly be the funniest thing I have ever seen.

[boysinblack]

ending is epic!!!!!!!!!!!

[OverlordJake]

MST3k was awesome, thanks for posting!

[OscarTangoWhisky]

"Now you're ready to rub out Sonny Corleone" 2:40

hilarious

[theSonicYouth]

"She keeps her feet clamped tightly together"

Crow: "Nuff said!"

Shot coke out of my nose.

[rankosan]

same here

[malathis0]

I laughed until I cried at 3:45