We have the same exact symptoms. Are you an at home mom? I am. I feel so guilty and LAZY! I feel like such a failure. I mean seriously why can't I just snap out of it?
@adam112480 Yes I'm a stay at home mom as well. I get that feeling of "what am I doing with my life?" at times but then I remind myself how important it is to be there for my kids.
Im Bipolar also when i was 24 years old i put a shot gun in my mouth i started crying then i put it to the side of my stomch and pulled the triger i bluew the side of my stomch out i wanted to die so bad there was blood every were. im 45 now and would never do that agin it seems the older i get the better i get i keep fighting there are some days that get very low but i have more fight in me now. when i was young omg it was so bad...
I have been in bed the past week, just couldn't get out of it :( since the start of this year my body clock has been everywhere all the time, seems to be getting worse. Getting out doors is getting harder, mainly only go out at night when other people aren't around cause I can't stand walking past people :/ get to see specialist doctors soon hopefully I find some support there. You take care of yourself, I'll keep watching your videos, & all these comments rgood4 helping up not feel alone :)
I have class 2 bipolar with crippling anxiety, I am medicated and have been seeing a therapist for over a year. The anxiety just doesn't let up. I can't work, but havn't yet desided if I should go on dsability. Knowone understands what I am feeling and they just tell me to shake it off. I wish my husband was more understanding.
I am greatful you shared your experiences with us.
This is me 100% ME, I am on permanent disability. Thanks for sharing! I know you said you weren't going to be on Youtube for a while, I hope you contact me once you do return. But taking care of yourself is number 1! Will be thinking and praying for you!
i feel the same way i was dignoised with bipolar disorder in june of 2011 some of my family said a long time ago i should get checked out for this i never wanted to because i didnt want to be stereo type as having a problem so i never admitted to it until last summer i moved 12 times in 1 yr i woulod have shopping highs. i would have depression lows i would feel like not doing anything but lying in bed all day cant even fix dinner or make lunch for my kids..
I have that same feeling of not being able to look after myself, i manage to do most day to day things (just about) but im not able to have relationships because of my schizoaffective disorder and social anxiety. Sometimes when i look at my future it seems really bleak and it feels like things will never get better.
I don't think you are alone. I've definitvely felt this way The worst part about it is that ppl have a hard time empathizing with one because a person with this disorder won't always be incapacitated, they are only "disabled" while in an episode. Which is why I think most people have a hard time wrapping their heads around the fact that this disorder is a disability.
i'm on risperidone injections now and it's helping me incredibly with few side effects. I completely understand your inabilities due to the illness i share with you. When my meds are working i'm sceptical about my illness but if i forget to take my tablets i can recede quickly into that disabling mental state you describe. It is very real for me when that happens.
I know what you are going through, I am Bi-Polar, but I can take care of myself, but sometimes I get to where I can not do anything, I live alone, and sometimes I just want to stay home by myself, it affects everybody different, you are a beautiful woman, and you can live a normal life, use to when I was feeling low, I would go out on a spending spree and spend money on things I did not need in my case, to fullfill my lonliness, but I have a lot of the same symptoms, and I'm on meds for it.
Each person & their doctor/therapist/psychiatrist needs to discover what meds work best for them. You should never take meds that have been prescribed for someone else. It may take time to figure out what works but you will find something. Some anti-depressant meds make patients feel extremely drowsy/sleepy so that is not going to work for a long distance trucker. Stay away from alcohol. Nothing good can come from that. Good luck & best wishes.
I have the same problems with anxiety and depression that you've described here. My worst was when I was out of bed, or awake for about 6 hours a day due to being over-medicated on Haldol and Depakote - old anti-psych and mood stabilizer. Your videos are great, I get some of the same effect from a support group that I attend regularly - it changed my illness from being something that controlled me, to something that I was determined to control.
thank you for putting words into the meaning of my bipolar. i often go to my psychiatrist with unhelpful information. using your words can help be better explain where I'm at in my disease and if there is a better combination of medications. Also I'll share this with my therapist. your words sounded so close to home it seems like we are on the same type of bipolar. thank you
Yes I understand how u feel. I feel the same way and it is very difficult. I take one day at a time. I hope u can get the help u need. You seem like a great person and a great mom. Keep your head up. You have many people including myself who support u. This video was a blessing to me. Thank u
I understand exactly how you feel, I feel the same way. GAD...generalized anxiety disorder is part of our problem. I wish I could be the me I know I could be if I did not have such anxiety. You are definitely not alone with this!
Amen thankyou for posting this video. I am just like you so your not alone this past yr has not been easy for me . I know when my wife is at work during the day time I am left alone a lot 8 hours a day sometimes more and when I do force myself to go some were its by myself and I hate to be alone . Although my wife does take good care of me when she is home from work .
Don't spend the whole day sleeping too much and staring at the TV. Force yourself to get out and do something normal or healthy. Take a long walk. Ask a good friend to meet you for lunch. Take some cash but not too much. Leave the credit cards at home! Make yourself take a shower, get dressed & get out. Easier said than done I know but DO IT!!!
@entwistle4ever This is really good advise, I am just starting to realize I have this and need to get medication - do you know what medications help the best?
Fight that feelin my entire life......and many times paralyzed by it....at my weakest i hide hide hide...till i build back some strength........dont want anyone around when i feel like that......and making lunch can be really damn hard...sometimes to.......only a bipolar could now how hard making lunch is ..
totally relate...this past year has been the most difficult...I don't have kids or partner...but sometimes I can't even shower for a week..the energy it takes is overwhelming and then obsessing about taking a shower and the judging of my thoughts and the feeling that I should do this or that...
Gosh, a lot of comments here. I'm 40-something with bipolar 1, male. Nicole, you are describing pretty much exactly what I feel like all the time. Everything to me seems over-stimulating, and easily catches me up in a sparky fizzy cascade of chain-reacting nervy impulses. It is particularly interesting because if I go out here I have to speak Czech, which is harder than Chinese.
I do what I can. That is what I suggest for you, just do what you can. Your devoted husband is there to care for you.
Thanks for posting, it seems like agoraphobia, especially if you mention your significant other, but bipolar disorder could cause or co-exist I believe.. I'm 25, been on disability for bipo. since 17, some days I don't think it's real and hate myself for it. I live by the month, week 1- no more klonopin.. week 2- too much adderall week 3- must sustain body to fuel addictions, week 4- can't wait for my govt' cheese n meds. I've been fired, hired a lot recently.. hard to look at ppl w/o benzos
THANK YOU SOO SOO MUCH FOR SHARING THIS!!!!!!!! I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder...... and am experiencing a low state right now. I feel the need to video back to you (not in a freaky way...) You just described how I've been for quit a while now. Its soo bad right now, that I will ignore anyone knocking on my door (I get too fearfull) I have pretty much moved into my bedroom. I lock up at work, I cant even look at people, I will even pretend that I didnt hear them say my name. It's bad!
Hello, I have bipolar 1. I know exactly what your talking about. Your not alone. I am just like you. also theres way more to it than everything you just said. It really is very hard. Its very real and its not fun at all. You just want to feel normal. Its liked were labeled and it feels like everybody know. Its hard to hide. I try to act like I have nothing wrong with me and I have trained myself to try to be normal and I know you know what I mean. Your lucky you have a good husband.
This is exactly how I feel right now. I had major surgery then 3 days later my Mom had a stroke and died a week later. Well as you probably know, this totally wrecked me, my bipolar disorder went wacko. That much stress and the loss of someone who meant everything to me sent me over the edge. I too am always afraid people think I'm faking, to get off from work, or whatever the case may be. I too have times when I cannot take care of myself, where things don't get done (ie laundry) !
@BipolarSusie It can definitely be hard to deal with all the stresses going on and deal with bipolar at the same time. It can be a big struggle. No wonder you had such a hard time. I hope that things are looking up for you now.
Thank you so much for your amazing blogs. You put into words what I feel, but don't know how to express myself. You have really given me a voice and made me able to explane to my friends and family, what I am going through.
I got diagnosed with bipolar 6 month ago and recently started taking Zyprexa, which has helped me a lot. But your blogs helped me through a very tough time in my life. So thank you very much.
I deal with not being able to freely go outside thing a lot and I tolerate it best at night in a car or on my bicycle, most times it's hard for me to be around people and I often avoid my family. It sucks it really sucks!
This is exactly how I have been feeling for a while now and more intensely for the past few months. I'm sorry you are having to deal with this, but I am so happy to hear that I am not the only one that is feeling like this.
@NaziJuice Everyone has something wrong with them, hell we all deserve a check, but who's gonna pay it when everyone quits working and files disability. I have a friend I lived by who washed out of the military due to being bipolar, that's when he was diagnosed, he works, has been working.
When you say psychotic what do you mean?? Like an example.. I was given a 50mg once at night to sleep & stop racing thoughts.. Knocked me out at first, now it keeps me up. I just do pushups till i cant move and lay on the floor with headphones on.. Usually it takes a half out to wake up.
i know what your saying. and the social anxiety. makes for a hard life. there is nothing wrong with assistance. esp if your taking strong meds. good luck coping
Thank you for posting this.You are certainly not alone. I go through bouts now and again. Manic depression hit me at some point in my early twenties. Twenty years down the road, it's still there. I actually spent most of 2006 staring at walls. I found that practicing meditation, having positive friends as well as performing intensive and regular exercise works well to alleviate the symptoms. Avoiding alcohol may help also. I hope that you do feel better. I can definitively sympathize with you.
Great video. I stumbled across your channel today actually and so far all of your videos hit very close to come. I have Bipolar NOS with comorbid Panic Disorder. My symptoms are much like those of Bipolar 1, but not ALWAYS the duration required by the DSM. Hypomania, full blown mania, psychotic symptoms, anxiety and panic, depression, you name it. I understand how you feel, I think, with not being able to deal with other people at times. A sense of dread, I call it. The opposite of my mania.
Very familiar. I'm not a bipolar. I have anxiety & social anxiety disorder. I was suppose to go to the bank, doctor and super market yesturday, but i slept over. i just couldn't raise myself . And it happens all the time! I never go when i suppose to. I open letters with dificulty. But for some reason i do answer the phone XD. It ruined my life and i cant work. a year passed at the same work and i still got heart beats when i was gettig there. And about disability of course bipolars shoud get
My family will often write off the anxiety and agitation of mania as "just stress" with the often repeated "just relax". The irony is that if my dad was having an epileptic seizure, nobody would dream of brushing it off on being his own doing! Stress can make this worse or trigger a switch, but, just like a seizure, we can't just "chill it away."
@darylknowles Totally true. It's hard to deal with people who don't understand that this is an illness beyond our control and it takes much more than just "relaxing" to deal with it.
@crAckZ111 I don't think it was stress and anxiety in itself. I was headed down a manic path for awhile and it all just got so bad that I wound up getting psychotic. But I did feel stressed and anxious though during that time.
@EntangledInMisery I don't think there is anything wrong with needing meds to control our moods. Some people just need them (myself included) and that's the way it is.
I have both Bipolar and Anxiety, plus ADD and I know exactly what you mean about being paralyzed by fear about responsibility. I still cant keep appointments unless I have someone there with me to remind me. Even phone calls are nearly impossible for me to do kuz i get choked by the fear and anxiety. And then the manic periods make those issues LESS of an issue so I dont ask for help and the depressed times make it even harder. I lost my fiancee kuz of it...so your not alone. We are here with u.
@Pnitt Thanks. I'm sorry you are dealing with similar issues. Sometimes it seems the anxiety is even worse than the bipolar because it just paralyzes you to the point where you cannot function normally anymore.
I have severe mood swings, typically lasting for months, and usually depressed (lately rapid cycling). Anxiety never goes away, and when I start to feel "higher" the anxiety worsens. I have the exact same reaction to answering the phone. I know by my internal state that my anxiety is of the manic sort, and I have had anxiety with depression too which feels different. Panic attacks, rely on my husband for everything. I feel too awake, hardly sleep, and uncomfortably wired/irritable
I have severe mood swings, typically lasting for months at a time, and usually depressed (lately rapid cycling). Anxiety never goes away, and when I start to feel "higher" the anxiety worsens. I have the exact same reaction to answering the phone. I know by my internal state that my anxiety is of the manic sort, and I have had anxiety with depression too which feels different. Panic attacks, rely on my husband for everything. I feel too awake, hardly sleep, and uncomfortably wired/irritable
the hardest part imo is when you break social contact with people due to depression. its hard to explain to people with all the misunderstandings and stigma of mental illness. and also all the ignorant people who dont recognize depression as a true illness.
ive lost countless friends and ive never been able to live a stable life due to this.
@Hornilope It's a very hard thing to deal with. I know a lot of people don't view depression as "real" but I think those people have never really experienced true depression, otherwise they would know. Keep your head up. :)
thankfully the depression im going through right now is ALOT milder then my previous one since i am properly medicating myself for it this time with ssri, which i have responded very well to. i lack energy and dont enjoy things as much, i have mild paranoia and difficulty trusting people. but i am still able to live a functional life and keep contact with my closest friends. thank god for medication...
Thank you so much for posting these videos. I to am bipolar and have anxiety disorders. Some days the anxiety issues are definitely harder to deal with than bipolar. Its nice to know that when I feel alone and like a prisoner in my own home, that in reality I'm not alone, and that there are others out there having identical scenarios daily. My partner, son and family take on many of the "normal" daily activities for me, they have been really understanding of all my "quirks" :) ... Thank you!
@oiitskins It's so helpful to have an understanding partner and family. I know that has helped me a lot, even when I feel I can;t leave the house I know I am not being judged by those closest to me.
I have bipolar disorder and like you I feel anxiety on a disabling level and everyday is a fight to not worry about this or that. I really want to stay home and do nothing because I'm scared to go out into the public but when I push myself to go out or to talk on the phone I realize it wasn't so bad, plus my psychologist pushes me to do things out of my scope of comfort. I am tired of anxiety as you probably are too. Watching your videos calms me down though, so thank you
@ciscoisdef1 Anxiety is so strange. I think the worst part about it, for me, is that it comes out of nowhere and really has no basis. It's hard to try to deal with it when there is no rhyme or reason for what is causing it.
doctors often treat bipolar anxiety as though it was regular anxiety. This has caused problems getting the Bipolar diagnosis because my manias are unpleasant, and manifest as agitation/panic/anxiety/agoraphobia/social phobia. I feel too anxious and energetic to act upon it, and if I do I tantrum with frustration.Taking the right mood stabilizer helps more for anxiety than other meds. A lot better. Some mood stabilizers help anxiety, others do not, so research is necessary.
OMG--This is so me! I was diagnosed bipolar after 2 years on Cymbalta for depression made me impulsive and hypomanic. I now take Lamictal and Abilify but I still have the ups and downs where I will spend a week hiding in the house and not going anywhere, ignoring phone calls, etc. Then a few days where I am really productive! I feel disabled, too. My anxiety continues to go up and I'm even having obsessive thoughts now! Your videos are SO eye opening and honest and mirror my story. Thanks!
I have had anxiety when I was about 5 years old and since that time i remember people making comments about my trembling hands. I envied those that were not terrified of going to school. I was ill in my stomach for my 13 years of school. I could not absorb information in class and really struggled. Always feeling less than . I get furious when I think about all the things it has kept me from doing in my life. You are lucky to have a supportive partner.You are lucky to have a family:)
@tyscorp80 Anxiety is definitely hard to deal with, I think sometimes it is even harder than bipolar to deal with because it stops you from doing so much.
Thank you so much for explaining bipolar for me, I shared it on my facebook because I feel like nobody understands what i'm going through, lately my depression has been so bad i'm cutting myself off from everyone around me and when I get happy it's only for a moment and it feels like a switch I have no control of. Thank you so much...
@lilrac51528 I'm so sorry to hear you are going through a depression. That is always tough. Stay strong, and things will eventually get better. I know that is easier said than done though!
@tttmiller54 I'm actually doing a lot better now. I seem to go in phases where I have all this anxiety and then suddenly, it's gone and I have no anxiety about anything! Thanks for your suggestions though.
Remove yourself from caffiene and sugar. They're complete poison for anxiety and a trigger for panic attacks. I have anxiety and manic depression so people see me and just think I'm lazy or do it for attention. Meditation seriously works. I say "ommm" silently in my head while breathing out through my nostrils. Try it out while sitting on your couch or laying down, eyes closed. You're aren't alone. Stay strong and be brave.
I feel like this ALL the time! You are definitely not alone. I haven't been clinically diagnosed, but i have all the symptoms and feelings that you talk about in your videos. My folks think that I'm lazy when I feel like i can't leave the house, or when I isolate myself from the world. I feel anxiety and afraid all the time. One minute I can be happy which is rare. The rest of the time irritable, sad, and even suicidal. I tried getting help, but no one believes me. What should I do?
@michekatie Wow, I wish I knew, cause I would be doing it myself. LOL Have you tried counseling? Anxiety is tough to deal with, sometimes I think the anxiety is worse than the bipolar. I know what you mean about people thinking you're lazy but that is not the case. My husband gets anxiety a lot too so I know at least he can relate somewhat about my fears.
Wow, this is EXACTLY how I feel most of the time. I haven't been clinically diagnosed, but I recognize a lot of my symptoms match what you talk about in your videos. Sometimes I feel like I can't leave the house because i don't want to face the outside world. I feel so tired sometimes, but can't sleep. I worry about everything......one minute i can be happy, the next sad or depressed. I don't like going out or talking to other people....I have anxiety about the littlest things too
@xtrizsel I feel the same way, that it is hard to function and I know other people must look at me and think "What is her problem" and not realize that I just can't help it.
You are far from alone in your daily journey. I too put alot of stuff off on my other half. It didn't used to be this bad but unless it's work or very rarely to the store down the street i wont go anywhere alone. I'm a 30 year old man who is basically scared to go out in public alone. Not always but most of the time I even have a hard time going out of my lil bubble where I feel safe.
@crzazzwhtboy I get the same way, I hate going anywhere that is unfamiliar to me, because it causes me so much stress and anxiety. For what reason, I have no idea! It is very frustrating and keeps me from doing a lot of things I'd like to unfortunately.
Yeah I hear what you and updownjunkie are talking about. Sometimes I don't even think about it being a disability like I have to remind myself. Because when I think about disability I think about being physically handicapped in someway, but it truly can be just as bad with Bipolar. I can't go out because I just worry that I am going to get into a fight or someones going to start a fight with me and that is my biggest thing. And I totally hear you about not being able to go out in the world.
@CodeV114 I think that's one of the worst things, that feeling of being stuck in your house because you can't mentally deal with going anywhere or facing anyone.
You are certainly not alone. I am disabled by bipolar. I have so much anxiety that I don't go in grocery stores. I have my husband go in and talk to me by walkie talkie. How crazy is that?! I have problems caring for myself personally and it's very hard to leave my house. The thing I am most afraid of is how I will react to other people or problems I might encounter. I have so many triggers that can turn my mood upside down.
@stillhippie That's good advice...I do have a lot of major things going on in my life right now, including multiple vehicle problems, in the middle of buying a house, dealing with money problems, etc etc etc. So yeah, I definately have so much going on I feel like I am completely stressed and overloaded. But then I think, don't other normal people deal with this stuff with ease? And it seems so hard for me some of the times.
Arent you scared posting these video's in case a social worker might come upon this figure out who you are and possibly think your too unfit to raise your children? Not that I personally think you are.
@plejaren7 You know, I actually was scared about that when I went to the hospital which is why I resisted going at first. But they never threatened to take my kids like I was afraid they would and I realized they really want to help you find support systems, not to tear your family apart.
@BipolarStateofBeing Thank you for being honest about your experience with Bipolar,I too was diagnosed two yrs ago and still learning alot about the disorder and who I am.I've had alot of negative feedback about my disorder,it's like the elephant in the room.something to keep quiet and be ashamed of or scared of.Thats why I had asked you if you were scared at all putting this out there.I admire Your videos as they help others alot!! :)
@plejaren7 Thank you, I'm lucky in that most people have been supportive of me. Not everyone in my life knows about it though, I do have friends that I still have not told. But both in real life and here online most people have been very helpful and I am so glad for that.
You're courageous.
ReidBaerPoetry 3 days ago
TOTALLY relate this!
Vicky1216tn 1 week ago
We have the same exact symptoms. Are you an at home mom? I am. I feel so guilty and LAZY! I feel like such a failure. I mean seriously why can't I just snap out of it?
adam112480 1 week ago
@adam112480 Yes I'm a stay at home mom as well. I get that feeling of "what am I doing with my life?" at times but then I remind myself how important it is to be there for my kids.
BipolarStateofBeing 1 week ago
Im Bipolar also when i was 24 years old i put a shot gun in my mouth i started crying then i put it to the side of my stomch and pulled the triger i bluew the side of my stomch out i wanted to die so bad there was blood every were. im 45 now and would never do that agin it seems the older i get the better i get i keep fighting there are some days that get very low but i have more fight in me now. when i was young omg it was so bad...
Normpercy 3 weeks ago
I have been in bed the past week, just couldn't get out of it :( since the start of this year my body clock has been everywhere all the time, seems to be getting worse. Getting out doors is getting harder, mainly only go out at night when other people aren't around cause I can't stand walking past people :/ get to see specialist doctors soon hopefully I find some support there. You take care of yourself, I'll keep watching your videos, & all these comments rgood4 helping up not feel alone :)
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*helping us all not feel alone. ran out of space lol. thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings, it's really brave. xx
SashaRicky 3 weeks ago in playlist Liked videos
I have class 2 bipolar with crippling anxiety, I am medicated and have been seeing a therapist for over a year. The anxiety just doesn't let up. I can't work, but havn't yet desided if I should go on dsability. Knowone understands what I am feeling and they just tell me to shake it off. I wish my husband was more understanding.
I am greatful you shared your experiences with us.
Take care.
SammyHagarSim 1 month ago
This is me 100% ME, I am on permanent disability. Thanks for sharing! I know you said you weren't going to be on Youtube for a while, I hope you contact me once you do return. But taking care of yourself is number 1! Will be thinking and praying for you!
MortgageCami 1 month ago
You still have kids? You are doing just fine. Keep on doing well.
HardeyLeone 1 month ago
i feel the same way i was dignoised with bipolar disorder in june of 2011 some of my family said a long time ago i should get checked out for this i never wanted to because i didnt want to be stereo type as having a problem so i never admitted to it until last summer i moved 12 times in 1 yr i woulod have shopping highs. i would have depression lows i would feel like not doing anything but lying in bed all day cant even fix dinner or make lunch for my kids..
carriehallock29 1 month ago
I have that same feeling of not being able to look after myself, i manage to do most day to day things (just about) but im not able to have relationships because of my schizoaffective disorder and social anxiety. Sometimes when i look at my future it seems really bleak and it feels like things will never get better.
ziganda26 2 months ago
I don't think you are alone. I've definitvely felt this way The worst part about it is that ppl have a hard time empathizing with one because a person with this disorder won't always be incapacitated, they are only "disabled" while in an episode. Which is why I think most people have a hard time wrapping their heads around the fact that this disorder is a disability.
MiguelAllMighty 2 months ago
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MiguelAllMighty 2 months ago
i'm on risperidone injections now and it's helping me incredibly with few side effects. I completely understand your inabilities due to the illness i share with you. When my meds are working i'm sceptical about my illness but if i forget to take my tablets i can recede quickly into that disabling mental state you describe. It is very real for me when that happens.
MrDeliriumtremens1 2 months ago
Listen to the song by that gospel group Kingsmen Quartet, You're Not Alone, Jesus is with you!
TheShospitali 2 months ago
I know what you are going through, I am Bi-Polar, but I can take care of myself, but sometimes I get to where I can not do anything, I live alone, and sometimes I just want to stay home by myself, it affects everybody different, you are a beautiful woman, and you can live a normal life, use to when I was feeling low, I would go out on a spending spree and spend money on things I did not need in my case, to fullfill my lonliness, but I have a lot of the same symptoms, and I'm on meds for it.
TheShospitali 2 months ago
Each person & their doctor/therapist/psychiatrist needs to discover what meds work best for them. You should never take meds that have been prescribed for someone else. It may take time to figure out what works but you will find something. Some anti-depressant meds make patients feel extremely drowsy/sleepy so that is not going to work for a long distance trucker. Stay away from alcohol. Nothing good can come from that. Good luck & best wishes.
entwistle4ever 2 months ago
I have the same problems with anxiety and depression that you've described here. My worst was when I was out of bed, or awake for about 6 hours a day due to being over-medicated on Haldol and Depakote - old anti-psych and mood stabilizer. Your videos are great, I get some of the same effect from a support group that I attend regularly - it changed my illness from being something that controlled me, to something that I was determined to control.
tjohnphillips 2 months ago
mmmm
Indoside 2 months ago
thank you for putting words into the meaning of my bipolar. i often go to my psychiatrist with unhelpful information. using your words can help be better explain where I'm at in my disease and if there is a better combination of medications. Also I'll share this with my therapist. your words sounded so close to home it seems like we are on the same type of bipolar. thank you
jdp7437 2 months ago
Yes I understand how u feel. I feel the same way and it is very difficult. I take one day at a time. I hope u can get the help u need. You seem like a great person and a great mom. Keep your head up. You have many people including myself who support u. This video was a blessing to me. Thank u
Visionariesmanagemen 2 months ago 4
@Visionariesmanagemen Thanks for sharing!
BipolarStateofBeing 2 months ago
I understand exactly how you feel, I feel the same way. GAD...generalized anxiety disorder is part of our problem. I wish I could be the me I know I could be if I did not have such anxiety. You are definitely not alone with this!
069220 2 months ago
I do go through this exactly! The panic and the anxiety.Your not along.
candi2sweet4u 2 months ago
All I wanna do is be happy
kansasjamiemcmurray 2 months ago
Amen thankyou for posting this video. I am just like you so your not alone this past yr has not been easy for me . I know when my wife is at work during the day time I am left alone a lot 8 hours a day sometimes more and when I do force myself to go some were its by myself and I hate to be alone . Although my wife does take good care of me when she is home from work .
kansasjamiemcmurray 2 months ago
Don't spend the whole day sleeping too much and staring at the TV. Force yourself to get out and do something normal or healthy. Take a long walk. Ask a good friend to meet you for lunch. Take some cash but not too much. Leave the credit cards at home! Make yourself take a shower, get dressed & get out. Easier said than done I know but DO IT!!!
entwistle4ever 2 months ago
@entwistle4ever This is really good advise, I am just starting to realize I have this and need to get medication - do you know what medications help the best?
Lorelle1020 2 months ago
Fight that feelin my entire life......and many times paralyzed by it....at my weakest i hide hide hide...till i build back some strength........dont want anyone around when i feel like that......and making lunch can be really damn hard...sometimes to.......only a bipolar could now how hard making lunch is ..
Drhamburgerhill 2 months ago
totally relate...this past year has been the most difficult...I don't have kids or partner...but sometimes I can't even shower for a week..the energy it takes is overwhelming and then obsessing about taking a shower and the judging of my thoughts and the feeling that I should do this or that...
Erikalovesher 2 months ago
Gosh, a lot of comments here. I'm 40-something with bipolar 1, male. Nicole, you are describing pretty much exactly what I feel like all the time. Everything to me seems over-stimulating, and easily catches me up in a sparky fizzy cascade of chain-reacting nervy impulses. It is particularly interesting because if I go out here I have to speak Czech, which is harder than Chinese.
I do what I can. That is what I suggest for you, just do what you can. Your devoted husband is there to care for you.
ReddishOfRed 3 months ago
Thanks for posting, it seems like agoraphobia, especially if you mention your significant other, but bipolar disorder could cause or co-exist I believe.. I'm 25, been on disability for bipo. since 17, some days I don't think it's real and hate myself for it. I live by the month, week 1- no more klonopin.. week 2- too much adderall week 3- must sustain body to fuel addictions, week 4- can't wait for my govt' cheese n meds. I've been fired, hired a lot recently.. hard to look at ppl w/o benzos
fetalbetal 3 months ago
Sounds just like me :(.
skinnyonmymind 3 months ago
THANK YOU SOO SOO MUCH FOR SHARING THIS!!!!!!!! I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder...... and am experiencing a low state right now. I feel the need to video back to you (not in a freaky way...) You just described how I've been for quit a while now. Its soo bad right now, that I will ignore anyone knocking on my door (I get too fearfull) I have pretty much moved into my bedroom. I lock up at work, I cant even look at people, I will even pretend that I didnt hear them say my name. It's bad!
classicvibes11 4 months ago 4
@classicvibes11 I agree, I sometimes get the anxiety bad like you where I feel I can't deal with other people at all. It comes and goes though.
BipolarStateofBeing 4 months ago
Hello, I have bipolar 1. I know exactly what your talking about. Your not alone. I am just like you. also theres way more to it than everything you just said. It really is very hard. Its very real and its not fun at all. You just want to feel normal. Its liked were labeled and it feels like everybody know. Its hard to hide. I try to act like I have nothing wrong with me and I have trained myself to try to be normal and I know you know what I mean. Your lucky you have a good husband.
TheCarla35 4 months ago
This is exactly how I feel right now. I had major surgery then 3 days later my Mom had a stroke and died a week later. Well as you probably know, this totally wrecked me, my bipolar disorder went wacko. That much stress and the loss of someone who meant everything to me sent me over the edge. I too am always afraid people think I'm faking, to get off from work, or whatever the case may be. I too have times when I cannot take care of myself, where things don't get done (ie laundry) !
BipolarSusie 4 months ago
@BipolarSusie It can definitely be hard to deal with all the stresses going on and deal with bipolar at the same time. It can be a big struggle. No wonder you had such a hard time. I hope that things are looking up for you now.
BipolarStateofBeing 4 months ago
Thank you so much for your amazing blogs. You put into words what I feel, but don't know how to express myself. You have really given me a voice and made me able to explane to my friends and family, what I am going through.
I got diagnosed with bipolar 6 month ago and recently started taking Zyprexa, which has helped me a lot. But your blogs helped me through a very tough time in my life. So thank you very much.
Best wishes Kristian, Copenhagen, Denmark
KABuuuuuuuuuuM 4 months ago
@KABuuuuuuuuuuM I'm so glad my blogs have helped you. Thanks for viewing!
BipolarStateofBeing 4 months ago
@KABuuuuuuuuuuM Are there any side effects to Zyprexa?
Lorelle1020 2 months ago
I deal with not being able to freely go outside thing a lot and I tolerate it best at night in a car or on my bicycle, most times it's hard for me to be around people and I often avoid my family. It sucks it really sucks!
soymiguelalejandro23 4 months ago
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kaitlynsakey 5 months ago
This is exactly how I have been feeling for a while now and more intensely for the past few months. I'm sorry you are having to deal with this, but I am so happy to hear that I am not the only one that is feeling like this.
maplesmmy1 5 months ago
@maplesmmy1 Don't feel bad, you are definitely not alone.
BipolarStateofBeing 5 months ago
@NaziJuice Everyone has something wrong with them, hell we all deserve a check, but who's gonna pay it when everyone quits working and files disability. I have a friend I lived by who washed out of the military due to being bipolar, that's when he was diagnosed, he works, has been working.
Maples01 5 months ago
When you say psychotic what do you mean?? Like an example.. I was given a 50mg once at night to sleep & stop racing thoughts.. Knocked me out at first, now it keeps me up. I just do pushups till i cant move and lay on the floor with headphones on.. Usually it takes a half out to wake up.
Cnutz649 5 months ago
Cant believe nobody has commented about those shorts!!! To be polite i will say i like them. Anyways , you ever tried seroquil??
Cnutz649 5 months ago
@Cnutz649 Yes I had a horrible reaction to seroquel, it made me become psychotic and it was scary as heck.
BipolarStateofBeing 5 months ago
@Cnutz649 Yes I had a horrible reaction to seroquel, it made me become psychotic and it was scary as heck.
BipolarStateofBeing 5 months ago
i know what your saying. and the social anxiety. makes for a hard life. there is nothing wrong with assistance. esp if your taking strong meds. good luck coping
folse12 6 months ago
you seem to be describing my problems exactly. i spend most of my time alone.
aomimezura11 6 months ago
@aomimezura11 I spend most of my time alone too, and it is excruciating
Lorelle1020 2 months ago
Thank you for posting this.You are certainly not alone. I go through bouts now and again. Manic depression hit me at some point in my early twenties. Twenty years down the road, it's still there. I actually spent most of 2006 staring at walls. I found that practicing meditation, having positive friends as well as performing intensive and regular exercise works well to alleviate the symptoms. Avoiding alcohol may help also. I hope that you do feel better. I can definitively sympathize with you.
bikegypsy 6 months ago
Great video. I stumbled across your channel today actually and so far all of your videos hit very close to come. I have Bipolar NOS with comorbid Panic Disorder. My symptoms are much like those of Bipolar 1, but not ALWAYS the duration required by the DSM. Hypomania, full blown mania, psychotic symptoms, anxiety and panic, depression, you name it. I understand how you feel, I think, with not being able to deal with other people at times. A sense of dread, I call it. The opposite of my mania.
Skeletina1334 6 months ago
Very familiar. I'm not a bipolar. I have anxiety & social anxiety disorder. I was suppose to go to the bank, doctor and super market yesturday, but i slept over. i just couldn't raise myself . And it happens all the time! I never go when i suppose to. I open letters with dificulty. But for some reason i do answer the phone XD. It ruined my life and i cant work. a year passed at the same work and i still got heart beats when i was gettig there. And about disability of course bipolars shoud get
Emily789 6 months ago
disabilaty from the gov.! Also i wish you whould make a video about bipolar and work. It's a close topic to me. Thanks:=)
Emily789 6 months ago
My family will often write off the anxiety and agitation of mania as "just stress" with the often repeated "just relax". The irony is that if my dad was having an epileptic seizure, nobody would dream of brushing it off on being his own doing! Stress can make this worse or trigger a switch, but, just like a seizure, we can't just "chill it away."
darylknowles 6 months ago
@darylknowles Totally true. It's hard to deal with people who don't understand that this is an illness beyond our control and it takes much more than just "relaxing" to deal with it.
BipolarStateofBeing 6 months ago
Do you think with stress and anxiety left unchecked leads you into psychosis? If you don't mind me asking.
crAckZ111 6 months ago
@crAckZ111 I don't think it was stress and anxiety in itself. I was headed down a manic path for awhile and it all just got so bad that I wound up getting psychotic. But I did feel stressed and anxious though during that time.
BipolarStateofBeing 6 months ago
@EntangledInMisery I don't think there is anything wrong with needing meds to control our moods. Some people just need them (myself included) and that's the way it is.
BipolarStateofBeing 6 months ago
I have both Bipolar and Anxiety, plus ADD and I know exactly what you mean about being paralyzed by fear about responsibility. I still cant keep appointments unless I have someone there with me to remind me. Even phone calls are nearly impossible for me to do kuz i get choked by the fear and anxiety. And then the manic periods make those issues LESS of an issue so I dont ask for help and the depressed times make it even harder. I lost my fiancee kuz of it...so your not alone. We are here with u.
Pnitt 7 months ago
@Pnitt Thanks. I'm sorry you are dealing with similar issues. Sometimes it seems the anxiety is even worse than the bipolar because it just paralyzes you to the point where you cannot function normally anymore.
BipolarStateofBeing 7 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
I have severe mood swings, typically lasting for months, and usually depressed (lately rapid cycling). Anxiety never goes away, and when I start to feel "higher" the anxiety worsens. I have the exact same reaction to answering the phone. I know by my internal state that my anxiety is of the manic sort, and I have had anxiety with depression too which feels different. Panic attacks, rely on my husband for everything. I feel too awake, hardly sleep, and uncomfortably wired/irritable
ladyofthemystnin 7 months ago
I have severe mood swings, typically lasting for months at a time, and usually depressed (lately rapid cycling). Anxiety never goes away, and when I start to feel "higher" the anxiety worsens. I have the exact same reaction to answering the phone. I know by my internal state that my anxiety is of the manic sort, and I have had anxiety with depression too which feels different. Panic attacks, rely on my husband for everything. I feel too awake, hardly sleep, and uncomfortably wired/irritable
ladyofthemystnin 7 months ago
@TYSTVCHANNEL Sounds like you are having a tough time. That sucks. I hope things start to improve for you.
BipolarStateofBeing 7 months ago
i deffinetly do.
the hardest part imo is when you break social contact with people due to depression. its hard to explain to people with all the misunderstandings and stigma of mental illness. and also all the ignorant people who dont recognize depression as a true illness.
ive lost countless friends and ive never been able to live a stable life due to this.
Hornilope 7 months ago
@Hornilope It's a very hard thing to deal with. I know a lot of people don't view depression as "real" but I think those people have never really experienced true depression, otherwise they would know. Keep your head up. :)
BipolarStateofBeing 7 months ago
@BipolarStateofBeing thank you =)
thankfully the depression im going through right now is ALOT milder then my previous one since i am properly medicating myself for it this time with ssri, which i have responded very well to. i lack energy and dont enjoy things as much, i have mild paranoia and difficulty trusting people. but i am still able to live a functional life and keep contact with my closest friends. thank god for medication...
Hornilope 7 months ago
Thank you so much for posting these videos. I to am bipolar and have anxiety disorders. Some days the anxiety issues are definitely harder to deal with than bipolar. Its nice to know that when I feel alone and like a prisoner in my own home, that in reality I'm not alone, and that there are others out there having identical scenarios daily. My partner, son and family take on many of the "normal" daily activities for me, they have been really understanding of all my "quirks" :) ... Thank you!
oiitskins 7 months ago
@oiitskins It's so helpful to have an understanding partner and family. I know that has helped me a lot, even when I feel I can;t leave the house I know I am not being judged by those closest to me.
BipolarStateofBeing 7 months ago
I have bipolar disorder and like you I feel anxiety on a disabling level and everyday is a fight to not worry about this or that. I really want to stay home and do nothing because I'm scared to go out into the public but when I push myself to go out or to talk on the phone I realize it wasn't so bad, plus my psychologist pushes me to do things out of my scope of comfort. I am tired of anxiety as you probably are too. Watching your videos calms me down though, so thank you
ciscoisdef1 8 months ago
@ciscoisdef1 Anxiety is so strange. I think the worst part about it, for me, is that it comes out of nowhere and really has no basis. It's hard to try to deal with it when there is no rhyme or reason for what is causing it.
BipolarStateofBeing 8 months ago
doctors often treat bipolar anxiety as though it was regular anxiety. This has caused problems getting the Bipolar diagnosis because my manias are unpleasant, and manifest as agitation/panic/anxiety/agoraphobia/social phobia. I feel too anxious and energetic to act upon it, and if I do I tantrum with frustration.Taking the right mood stabilizer helps more for anxiety than other meds. A lot better. Some mood stabilizers help anxiety, others do not, so research is necessary.
ladyofthemystnin 7 months ago
OMG--This is so me! I was diagnosed bipolar after 2 years on Cymbalta for depression made me impulsive and hypomanic. I now take Lamictal and Abilify but I still have the ups and downs where I will spend a week hiding in the house and not going anywhere, ignoring phone calls, etc. Then a few days where I am really productive! I feel disabled, too. My anxiety continues to go up and I'm even having obsessive thoughts now! Your videos are SO eye opening and honest and mirror my story. Thanks!
bmailmail1 8 months ago
I have had anxiety when I was about 5 years old and since that time i remember people making comments about my trembling hands. I envied those that were not terrified of going to school. I was ill in my stomach for my 13 years of school. I could not absorb information in class and really struggled. Always feeling less than . I get furious when I think about all the things it has kept me from doing in my life. You are lucky to have a supportive partner.You are lucky to have a family:)
tyscorp80 8 months ago
@tyscorp80 Anxiety is definitely hard to deal with, I think sometimes it is even harder than bipolar to deal with because it stops you from doing so much.
BipolarStateofBeing 8 months ago
Thank you so much for explaining bipolar for me, I shared it on my facebook because I feel like nobody understands what i'm going through, lately my depression has been so bad i'm cutting myself off from everyone around me and when I get happy it's only for a moment and it feels like a switch I have no control of. Thank you so much...
lilrac51528 9 months ago
@lilrac51528 I'm so sorry to hear you are going through a depression. That is always tough. Stay strong, and things will eventually get better. I know that is easier said than done though!
BipolarStateofBeing 9 months ago
You aren't the only one! I feel this way a lot too! You are really brave for posting this. Thank you! You helped me.
Embelievablebipolar 9 months ago
@Embelievablebipolar I'm glad to hear that! :) Well not that you feel the same way, but that my video was helpful :)
BipolarStateofBeing 9 months ago
I can relate to this so much! Thank you for posting it! Being a parent with bipolar and anxiety problems is hard!
Embelievablebipolar 9 months ago
@tttmiller54 I'm actually doing a lot better now. I seem to go in phases where I have all this anxiety and then suddenly, it's gone and I have no anxiety about anything! Thanks for your suggestions though.
BipolarStateofBeing 9 months ago
What medication works best for the mania you experience?
mrsgemsnroses 10 months ago
@mrsgemsnroses So far, zyprexa has been the best med of any I have tried.
BipolarStateofBeing 10 months ago
Remove yourself from caffiene and sugar. They're complete poison for anxiety and a trigger for panic attacks. I have anxiety and manic depression so people see me and just think I'm lazy or do it for attention. Meditation seriously works. I say "ommm" silently in my head while breathing out through my nostrils. Try it out while sitting on your couch or laying down, eyes closed. You're aren't alone. Stay strong and be brave.
Subatomic1000 10 months ago
@Subatomic1000 I'm a junk food junkie. There is no way I could ever swear off sweets. Thank God I don't have diabetes!
BipolarStateofBeing 10 months ago
@BipolarStateofBeing lol ohhhhh trust me I love them too. It's hard because it's EVERYWHERE!
Subatomic1000 10 months ago
I feel like this ALL the time! You are definitely not alone. I haven't been clinically diagnosed, but i have all the symptoms and feelings that you talk about in your videos. My folks think that I'm lazy when I feel like i can't leave the house, or when I isolate myself from the world. I feel anxiety and afraid all the time. One minute I can be happy which is rare. The rest of the time irritable, sad, and even suicidal. I tried getting help, but no one believes me. What should I do?
michekatie 10 months ago
@michekatie Wow, I wish I knew, cause I would be doing it myself. LOL Have you tried counseling? Anxiety is tough to deal with, sometimes I think the anxiety is worse than the bipolar. I know what you mean about people thinking you're lazy but that is not the case. My husband gets anxiety a lot too so I know at least he can relate somewhat about my fears.
BipolarStateofBeing 10 months ago
Wow, this is EXACTLY how I feel most of the time. I haven't been clinically diagnosed, but I recognize a lot of my symptoms match what you talk about in your videos. Sometimes I feel like I can't leave the house because i don't want to face the outside world. I feel so tired sometimes, but can't sleep. I worry about everything......one minute i can be happy, the next sad or depressed. I don't like going out or talking to other people....I have anxiety about the littlest things too
michekatie 10 months ago
@xtrizsel I feel the same way, that it is hard to function and I know other people must look at me and think "What is her problem" and not realize that I just can't help it.
BipolarStateofBeing 11 months ago
You are far from alone in your daily journey. I too put alot of stuff off on my other half. It didn't used to be this bad but unless it's work or very rarely to the store down the street i wont go anywhere alone. I'm a 30 year old man who is basically scared to go out in public alone. Not always but most of the time I even have a hard time going out of my lil bubble where I feel safe.
crzazzwhtboy 11 months ago
@crzazzwhtboy I get the same way, I hate going anywhere that is unfamiliar to me, because it causes me so much stress and anxiety. For what reason, I have no idea! It is very frustrating and keeps me from doing a lot of things I'd like to unfortunately.
BipolarStateofBeing 11 months ago
I CAN RELATE!!!!!
Lisaserene1 11 months ago
@Lisaserene1 Isn't it horrible to feel this way?? I wish so much that I could just be normal sometimes.
BipolarStateofBeing 11 months ago
@wishiwasdifferent Very glad to hear they are helpful!
BipolarStateofBeing 1 year ago
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prometheus1672 1 year ago
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prometheus1672 1 year ago
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prometheus1672 1 year ago
you are not alone, I feel the same way most times
honeykiss1 1 year ago
Yeah I hear what you and updownjunkie are talking about. Sometimes I don't even think about it being a disability like I have to remind myself. Because when I think about disability I think about being physically handicapped in someway, but it truly can be just as bad with Bipolar. I can't go out because I just worry that I am going to get into a fight or someones going to start a fight with me and that is my biggest thing. And I totally hear you about not being able to go out in the world.
CodeV114 1 year ago
@CodeV114 I think that's one of the worst things, that feeling of being stuck in your house because you can't mentally deal with going anywhere or facing anyone.
BipolarStateofBeing 1 year ago
@stillhippie That sounds great right about now! Too bad its winter time. :)
BipolarStateofBeing 1 year ago
@stillhippie Right now even the thought of a vacation causes me anxiety...ughhhh!
BipolarStateofBeing 1 year ago
You are certainly not alone. I am disabled by bipolar. I have so much anxiety that I don't go in grocery stores. I have my husband go in and talk to me by walkie talkie. How crazy is that?! I have problems caring for myself personally and it's very hard to leave my house. The thing I am most afraid of is how I will react to other people or problems I might encounter. I have so many triggers that can turn my mood upside down.
updownjunkie 1 year ago
@updownjunkie I feel the same way, it gets very hard to leave the safe little bubble of my house and venture out in the world when I feel like this.
BipolarStateofBeing 1 year ago
@stillhippie That's good advice...I do have a lot of major things going on in my life right now, including multiple vehicle problems, in the middle of buying a house, dealing with money problems, etc etc etc. So yeah, I definately have so much going on I feel like I am completely stressed and overloaded. But then I think, don't other normal people deal with this stuff with ease? And it seems so hard for me some of the times.
BipolarStateofBeing 1 year ago
@riffranger Thanks so much for your comment, good to know I'm not alone.
BipolarStateofBeing 1 year ago
Love you anyway <3 we are so alike! Hugs
blacklilly2010 1 year ago
@blacklilly2010 Thank you!
BipolarStateofBeing 1 year ago
@MsDelle1 I get the same way about going to new or unfamiliar places. It gives me anxiety, big time.
BipolarStateofBeing 1 year ago
@niandraunderground Sometimes I think the anxiety may actually be worse than the bipolar, then you put them together and it's a double whammy.
BipolarStateofBeing 1 year ago
Arent you scared posting these video's in case a social worker might come upon this figure out who you are and possibly think your too unfit to raise your children? Not that I personally think you are.
plejaren7 1 year ago
@plejaren7 You know, I actually was scared about that when I went to the hospital which is why I resisted going at first. But they never threatened to take my kids like I was afraid they would and I realized they really want to help you find support systems, not to tear your family apart.
BipolarStateofBeing 1 year ago
@BipolarStateofBeing Thank you for being honest about your experience with Bipolar,I too was diagnosed two yrs ago and still learning alot about the disorder and who I am.I've had alot of negative feedback about my disorder,it's like the elephant in the room.something to keep quiet and be ashamed of or scared of.Thats why I had asked you if you were scared at all putting this out there.I admire Your videos as they help others alot!! :)
plejaren7 1 year ago
@plejaren7 Thank you, I'm lucky in that most people have been supportive of me. Not everyone in my life knows about it though, I do have friends that I still have not told. But both in real life and here online most people have been very helpful and I am so glad for that.
BipolarStateofBeing 1 year ago