Concentric Circles Emanating From Glowing Red Dot

[katsumorymoto]

oh man.. "what do the squigly lines look like?" i cracked up so bad from that

[SolaireofAstoria]

...hold on tHE GREEN SHAPE IS EXPANDING ENOMORSLY

[theZinator]

An interesting fact, those red dots and lines are often followed by pictures and videos of destroyed buildings for up to two months afterwards.

[shalom4301997]

BEST ONION VIDEO EVER!

[drf0rk]

That is correct.But Jam was not a faux news show. Alot of those associated with Chris Morris hated Jam and Hated Acting on it. Has anyone heard On the hour? The Radio Day today

[blueingreentrain]

Brass Eye rip off

[drf0rk]

@blueingreentrain Dude you are soo right. The day today molestation

[GhostVirusx90]

@drf0rk Jam was way better than the day today, but it was still fucking good. Even Brass eye is a god damn masterpiece.

[DuffMan790]

@GhostVirusx90 Nonce Sense...Phil Collins will never live that down.

[cutiepie1744594]

oh wait... CALL THE PRESIDENT... THIS IS SERIOUS!!!!!

[ajsave13]

LoL

[NickyAmerica]

We need to investiage these circles, THIS IS SERIOUS BUISNESS

[dwyImike]

"expert in a suit"

[TheHazmatProductions]

Lol

[stillmatic16]

expert in a suit lmfao

[Voidhead]

I love the word "expert". Nowadays everyone is an expert on something, it seems.

[Glinkaism1]

This is UTTERLY FANTASTIC. Did they do one on the wall street wussies and pussies march?

[smpaudio]

I can't stop laughing!

[Lathox]

A tsunami reported by non tsunami experts

[somethingcomes]

Ahahahahahah omg.

[emiliamandaza]

lmao!!!! cant.stop.laughin!!!! the green shape is expanding enormously!!!!

[MSJewelryAU]

The Onion is the chit! LMAO every time!

[unmeibushido]

What's really fun is to watch the headlines at the bottom. "Arizona's economy is entirely dependent on dreamcatchers" and "Human overpopulation crisis will be solved by heroic meteor, say astronomers".

[ThePistolero909]

ohh god i was laughing so hard while i was eating some cereal but the laugh was coming out wierd and my mom came into my room cuz she thought i was choking on rood XXXDDD

[TheNoobiezz]

Sure this is how blonde see news? Do they even know what concentric circles mean? ;)

[fatcrewz]

That green presents my country

[JuditasDude]

I've watched this several times and I'm able to hold my laugh up until the part where the on-scene reporter says "IT'S CHAOS", and then I'm gone!

The "expert in a suit" always gets me too! one of the best onion clips for sure!

[adam145]

Fuck, I can't watch news about earthquakes without laughing. People are looking at me in a strange way ...

[ThePistolero909]

@adam145 hahaha me too

[PattyFitzWow97]

Haiti had a little bit of a earth quake

[unmeibushido]

I'm taking a GIS (geographic information science) course in college, and we saw this video when our teacher wanted to make a point how life would be if we couldn't understand maps.

[amirul264]

@unmeibushido lol

[TitenSxull]

video bears an uncanny eerie resemblance to the current coverage of this 5.9 quake here on the East Coast.

[DNTimagination]

DAMN CIRCLES !!!!!

[Kevinimages]

First onion video is the best. LOL. gahh, can't stop watching it. :P

[doherty12ronan]

one of my all time favorite onions

[4513radkej]

gotta watch out for those squiggly lines

[Ledwix]

This is the best Onion video of all time for me.

[FenekAlfa]

Kinda looks like Touhou...

[applepieindesky]

Surely, this is polotics?

[TheWetdreamer7]

thumbs up if there are too many ads on youtube

[RandumCheese]

@TheWetdreamer7 old

[dragonriders86]

I can't decide what's funnier-The video itself or the fact that people think it's real.

[Allsoproductions]

dont you guys just love chinese quality TV? :D

(not being racist, im chinese myself)

[BWeManX]

Did I really just see a beer commercial on Youtube...? Lots of children just saw that directly, thanks...

[scottsanne363636]

OH MY GOD WHAT DO WE DO!!!!

[KubernetePirata]

This kind of news will make people watch news even more

[chase8148]

Read the scrolling news lines

[chosenone990]

lol



[yukitor]

These reporters are so fucking dumb. There are tons of people dying in that earthquake in China or whatever and all they can think about are those dumb red circles. I find this offensive. Flagged.

[Bushater2000]

@yukitor Your comment is somewhat difficult to decipher. Was it supposed to be a joke, or are you actually serious?

[starcase7]

@yukitor You call them dumb, look at the date is was posted, about 3 years before the JAPAN earthquake, dumbass.

[doghouse144]

@yukitor And besides, that is Indonesia, not "China or whatever."

[thatissocool123]

@yukitor Do you not know your geography??? How old are you??? The "skinny long green thing" is Indonesia! Plus, have you seen the name of this news? it's call the ONION news. What kind of real news would call themselves ONION??? And the most recent earthquake is JAPAN. not CHINA. Wow.

[CHRLPTRSN]

@thatissocool123 Heh "THE ONION" would be a great name for a factual news channel.

[dualcamelkid]

@yukitor I laugh at all of you who took his comment seriously. This was obviously a joke. But let's take it seriously for a moment. He said that it was offensive because people are actually dying in earthquakes, he never said that this had anything to do with the Japan earthquake.

[qazwerty1011]

This is how Blondes see news.

[jerami101]

@qazwerty1011 That's pretty funny! LOL

[Whiteoverblue]

@qazwerty1011 I love your comment, man XD

[soccer2793]

@qazwerty1011 blondes don't know what "concentric" or "emanating" mean :)

[Sebaztien1]

@qazwerty1011 or americans XD

[steeleX42]

@Sebaztien1 or canadians and europeans

[Ironmaniacs7]

@qazwerty1011 Or Twitards. Or Twitards.

[Mccoins]

@qazwerty1011 I find that offensive, I don't even know how what colors those are.

[m1c000l]

@qazwerty1011 this is how people who think onion news is real see news

[Sdozeman]

The on-scene reporter became an unseen reporter.

[MrBigEnchilada]

lololol at the "lines of humans"...... this is news these days, reporters dont know what they're talking about and tends to overexaggerate trivial things...or make important things look abstract....

[Scrodolishes]

Expert in a suit LMAO

[azascan]

the onion sucks dung heap..............flesh eating classified......Jesus

[Mossgate97]

@azascan What? your an idiot.

[azascan]

@Mossgate97 HEY EAT SNOT YA FUCK BUCKET......DO A YOUTUBE SEARCH FOR FLESH EATING CLASSIFIED.......THEY MADE IT LOOK LIKE A.CSPAN COVERAGE OF THE HOUSE OF REPRESENATIVES VOTING ON A BILL TO PASS MARTIAL LAW IN THE EVENT OF AN ALIEN INVASION........AND THAT SHIT LOOKED LEGIT EXCEPT FOR THE ONION SPAN INSTEAD OF CSPAN LOGO........

[Mossgate97]

@azascan Lol, your a fucking idiot.

[SynopsisOverload]

@Mossgate97 yeah? Well your mothers a plumber.....that means she cant get enough of her friends ananloo brekent and rob urfist........i heard she can get a whole cucumber down her throat without gaging...i hear they had to put a drivethru window in down at your local spermbank because she couldnt get enough of her favorot beverage..last time i saw her she was soaked,it looked like somebody busted a beehive over her head

[Mossgate97]

@SynopsisOverload Insulting me won't make you any smarter, how stupid do you half to be to think that this is real?

[Waethos]

the reporters voice makes it so much funnier

[sandvig1990]

Lmmfao

[YumexxxChan]

This is all I understood about news at 8 years old.

[jeffynine]

i love how they make it sound so serious

[tomc1907]

@jeffynine you mean its not real???

[TheWhiteoutsharpie]

Lol that was soooioo funny

[futuremusician728]

Whoever thought of this was high. xD

[HairyDBZ]

"We just heard a loud wind like sound from an indeterminate source." "it's not a welcomed sound." LOL

[bamnibaum]

I was piloting my plane over Lake Meade when I flew over some red concentric circles. I lost all instrumentation, my artificial horizon went vertical and lost all power.

Fortunately I started a glide and about two minutes passed when all controls returned. It was a frightening experience. I'm still trying to make sense of it. Don't fly over a red dot with concentric circles emenating from it.

[zaplord89]

Help! A concentric circle emanating from glowing red dot is coming towards me!

[denhaggard]

AAA, help! Giant concentric circles are flowing up the beach!

[greg5566]

"Gay fraternity's hazing rituals only 6 percent gayer than traditional fraternity hazing rituals."

hahahahahahaha

[ChrisWelldone]

This is why I think everyone should have a Concentric circle eminateing from a glowing red dot shelter.

[douro20]

A live report on an impending tsunami from two reporters who don't know a thing about what's going on in front of them...

[weirddudeonice]

Bwahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!­!!



[Heliosphan15]

@weirddudeonice

oh dear, i'm sorry to hear that

[kefer123622]

Oh god this is just wonderful.

[unholyimage]

For God's sake, evacuate immediately, no matter where your, before it's too late!!!!!

[brokiller25]

Osama is dead

[undeadretard7]

"The telephone image seems to have disappeared..."

[KillerX3189]

Pinpointing Aperture Science.

[DaminusMaximus]

i hate these fucking goddamn stupid cocksucking ads constantly generating errors!!

[louisgeorges2000]

"Gay fraternity's hazing is only 6% gayer than traditional fraternity hazing" LOL!

[unholyimage]

@louisgeorges2000 Except when you're enjoying it, is it really hazing?

[louisgeorges2000]

@unholyimage Damn I don't know... Let me try it and I'll get back to you.

[xXxKitKat36]

I think we should all take a moment to remember all the people that died in the big concentric circles emanating from a glowing red dot, and the squiggly lines on the outer edge of the green thing on march 11th :(

[captaincrunch024]

Anyone else get the sock ad? seems like something the onion made...

[brutalitySS]

hahahahaha i love onion

[MrZombieisAngry]

OMG LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL I LOVE THIS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[ChocolateDr4nK]

HOW DID THE LONG GREEN THING GET BIGGER, THAT CANT HAPPEN

[ani451]

@L0ve4Cookies I have no idea what you're talking about, but I was kidding and now totally confused.

[lrcdert2010]

@L0ve4Cookies No you sir are stupid.This is called satire,retard.Didn't they teach you in literature?

[squareenixfreak1]

OMG where did that picture of a telaphone go?! O.o

[ani451]

I still can't believe how quickly the green misshapen thing expanded. That is just unreal.

[L0ve4Cookies]

@ani451 This whole thing is unreal. They made this to trick the Media into things that are not true. They make unbelievable stupid problems. Don't worry about what happens here. It's all just a experiment. 

[L0ve4Cookies]

um, whats supposed to be happening here?

[ashleyqt83]

@L0ve4Cookies seriously?

[L0ve4Cookies]

@ashleyqt83 Wait what do you mean seriously? Do you mean seriously if its fake, or do you not like my tone. I need to know what you mean. And yes, seriously, there fake.

[TopHatKidd]

@L0ve4Cookies Ummm, I'm pretty sure you"re missing the point. The Onion is a JOKE. People watch it because it's funny. They don't report the real news, and they aren't supposed to. It's supposed to be FUNNY.

[L0ve4Cookies]

@TopHatKidd I KNOW STUPID!

[L0ve4Cookies]

He thinks were stupid! Ok look at the flashing red dot in the big blue area over my right shoulder. Ok what are those colors and those squiggly lines? This news is fake. Check on Wikipedia. It says there fake!

[L0ve4Cookies]

He thinks were stupid! Ok look at the flashing red dot in the big blue area over my right shoulder. Ok what are those colors and those squiggly lines? This news is fake. Check on Wikipeia. It says there fake!

[cjuy01]

wow! sure glad that there's a kind of news that speak in Layman's terms. lol!

[D0oMblAsT]

I want to be a concentric circle expert when I grow up!

[D0oMblAsT]

Breaking news.

[freereg29]

anchor looks like christian bale

[coolblackrain1]

"Expert in suit" LOL!!!

[Wasabifold]

"Earth's overpopulation will soon be solved by heroic meteor"

I laughed so hard when I read that.

[haggardjf]

@Wasabifold

In terms of surface area, we as a planet aren't actually overpopulated. We just concentrate populations into metropolitan areas that make them cramped and confined. Resources are only being depleted due to waste, if our current population only used necessary resources and didn't waste them with taking over abundances of goods, we would be fine.

[SaltOfTheEarth76631]

@haggardjf

How about no. Overpopulation is probably one of the most important issues in the world today. When somebody asked the world's smartest person, (in terms of IQ), what the worlds carrying capacity of human population was, she responded with: "We passed it a long time ago."

[Thicite]

@SaltOfTheEarth76631 because she's obviously a genius if an IQ test says so, she's valid to comment on overpopulation, which is impossible by the way

[SaltOfTheEarth76631]

@Thicite I agree with your opinion on the statement you made about the IQ test. I was merely stating the the Guinness Book of World Records listed her as the smartest person in the world. But I do not agree however, with your idiotic statement about overpopulation being impossible. Overpopulation is defined as the condition when an organisms population exceeds the carrying capacity of habitat. Are humans organisms? Yes. Do we have a habitat? Yes, the Earth. Is our population growing? Yes.

[Thicite]

@SaltOfTheEarth76631 "over-population" implying an over-flow of the population, which, if the earth is our habitat isn't true, as you said, and if you disagree why even raise the point of what that person said? I may aswell say "oh yeah, my grandma says my grandad is pretty smart and he said smoking doesn't cause cancer." raising something in an argument which you then call irrelevant is completely stupid and laughable moreso than my "idiotic statement saying overpopulation is impossible".

[haggardjf]

@SaltOfTheEarth76631

Okay, first off, when your trying to prove your point, it doesn't come off as valid when you simply refer to your source as the world's smartest person. Not even having a name to solidify your side makes it seem even more illegitimate. Our planet is not overpopulated, it's over consumed. You have countries in Africa that are starving to death, and morbidly obese Americans. The issue isn't the human population, it's the rate of consumption.

[L0ve4Cookies]

@Wasabifold LMFAO!!!!!

[josiah621]

LMao! Did anyone read down at the bottom?

[Drondh]

"One death is a tragedy, but a million deaths are a statistic." -- Joseph Stalin.

[MisfitMakeupArtist]

LMFAO!!!

[MilesOrton]

"Hold on, the green shape is expanding enormously, did you see that?"

[artman40]

News broadcasts are largely responsible for the increase of the instances of spinning globe encounters.

[akaziengardist]

onion guys, would you kindly remove this video for a few weeks or so? i think i need not put forth a reason for this wish.

regards.

[zTheOnez]

@akaziengardist ..... I see no reason to remove it.

Earthquakes happen daily.

This is satire.

[Kalphiter45]

While watching video of Japan's tsunamis and earthquakes, I could think of was this video.

I'm a horrible person.

[CuriousAznBoi]

Concentric Circles were recently emanating from a red dot off the coast of Japan, and it resulted in Tsunamis.

[purplehatcult]

@CuriousAznBoi just like the emanating of the red dot in this 'story' resulted in the boxing day Tsunami of 2005

[Keinichn]

You know, I feel kind of bad about watching this considering the events in Japan but it does lighten the mood a bit.

[ProblemHonorStudent]

"Arizona governor says state economy now entirely dependent on dreamcatchers."

Priceless!

[ConstantinIV]

expert in suit?

xD

[camomatt]

lol at the Breaking News section:

Expert

Many shapes and colors appearing

Shapes and colors could trigger other shapes and colors

Green shape expanding

Loud wind sound heard

Live from inside box of colors and shapes

Telephone image disappears

[pfctjd]

This is my favorite Onion skit!

[chipp06]

oh onion news...

[furrysega7]

i feel so informed after watching this XD

[swimteamizzle1114]

I'm glad this is finally getting some attention.

Daily large red and blue arcs fly across America unchecked.

The blue ones even have spikes on them sometimes!

Awful.

[nnlamb25]

@waitingformypopcorn oh and I guess you do right?

[waitingformypopcorn]

News anchors talk robotically about people dieing, people missing, but they don't really know what it actually means.

[DrThunder88]

This is not funny. My aunt and uncle died in a concentric circle emanating from a glowing red dot.

[Phenix51432]

@DrThunder88 my paretns were killed from concentric circles cause they were watching this and trying to figure out what to do

[dan35669]

@DrThunder88 thats how i died too

[ninjer010]

LOL



[jerrxu]

Omfg I literally roflmao'd...

[ShaneThompson94]

"Expert in a suit, is someting to be expected"

[Rexem96]

Omfg i love the onion!!!!!!! Fox or cnn or

Something should hire the onion for something like this during their real news primetime hour on april fools day!

Imagine ur gramps or grams watching this on cnn thinking "what the devil is wrong with them, timmy?!"

[csbob2010]

@Rexem96 They actually do have their own show now

[JerryFeng41]

"We just heard a loud, wind-like sound from an undetermined source..."

LOL

[Buskieboy]

......Arizona's economy completely dependent on Dreamcatchers.......

priceless!

[VoLCoMzYaDiGG]

expert in a suit

[CrazyPockyJunkie]

lol still this isnt as bad as fox

[truthIsStranger]

I am SO used to all of the things they are talking about that I can either not focus on what they are saying, or I can focus on what they are saying but not notice what they are talking about... this is so hard to get through X'D

[newersify]

hahahahaha

[TheLeviathanZero]

TELEPHONE IMAGE DISAPPEARS.

[DogX42]

It's about the tsunami, it's a parody about it

[lynkynpark86]

Wow. This is the first onion video i disliked

[TheCrawler333]

A circologist?

[makemegood5two]

Yes these concentric circles produce shapes colors d and stuff near green things surrounded by blue.

[VideoGAMEANDWATCH]

It's sad knowing that the image of a telephone is probably never ever coming back. } ';

[Fibonacci1334]

1:53 look at the bottom. now thats a glass is half-full kind of guy

[Alexanddria]

Wish I could get a degree in concentric circles. Lol

[naireland]

just storing it for Canada

[Thewonkandfriends]

This seems to me what an earthquake report would be like if all the presenters decided to get ridiculously stoned beforehand.

[caesiume]

This is so meta

[teague67]

just b glad u weren't around during ww2, when those giant arrows were swishing and swirling all over the place causing mayhem. it's no wonder we had 2 get the soldiers out.

[kingbeetle1]

Hahaha I took a ride in my roflcopter xD genius

[iDrew618]

This just in from that southernmost green misshapen object was the voice of an on-scene reporter and an image of a telephone. On-scene reporter, can you describe what you are seeing there on the green long-shaped thing?

It's chaos! people ar- in the streets, rubble is everywhere! upr- trees

What color are the squiggly lines?

[keefachu]

Lol