Im 14 And i dont know why evey one thinks only girls do it im a mail 14 I have been cutting sence i was like ten but it was not a good choice to start I kills me every day i have to look at my scars or cuts knowing that the smile i whar is face and every one thinks im happy i dont know what to do any more
im fourteen ive been doing it for 2 years< and it is a total addcition, it weakens you, if u have never done it and think hey im a strong person i just wanna be able to say been there done that , didnt thrill me PLEASE SO NOT it isnt that easy it will take teh strongest person and beat them down til there the weakest person, it changes the way you think act ,and obviosly dress, u cant control the want, the need, you act secretive cuz u dont want ppl to kno, and you wear clothes to cover them
I'm fifteen and recently started cutting. I mainly started because I had friends that self injure, and I didn't understand why, so I thought I'd try it. I didn't think it would work but...uhm. Anyways one night my parents were fighting (rather harshly I might add). I was crying and ontop of my parents, my boyfriend and school had been weighing hard on me. I took the razor out of a box cutting tool my dad had, and was surprised when the cutting calmed me down and I stopped crying....hmm...
I started at the age of 10 and still do it. I am 15 almost 16. I started by peeling off skin and then razors, knifes, then sharpener blades, and the things they used to disect things in biology. I realized that my self injury escalates and I am scared.
This comment has received too many negative votesshow
same here in some regards. cept i have major depression with obssesional thinking. have taken meds, been to a day therapy program with counseling, alternative medicine, talk therapy, nothing works. what caused it was graduate school, which encourages you to abandon your sense of identity to embrace post modern relativism, and also reading alot of philosophy books on the side including alot of Friedrich Nietzsche (never read him!) I understand the importance of numbing pain. try electroshock
I'm a very big fan of all of your videos. I think that, how you put yourself out there in the Youtube community is really inspiring and brave of you. I want to just thank you for expressing your feelings because I too am a cutter. Before viewing your videos I thought I was the only one with mixed emotions and temptations. Your videos helped very much.
So thank you sullengirl for helping me realize I'm not the only burning candle. :)
The thing with cutting is that it is generally a coping system, I feel better when I cut. I get easily upset about certain things when I'm on my own that are quite meaningless really but to the fact I have Bipolar Disorder and Raynaud's Disease doesn't help. People that cut themselves arn't really what you should call healthy but are obviously very intelligent to use an impartial system to help them.
i just started self-injury because i was really upset and i,ve felt like cutting myself before but i stopped but today i was really hurting but after i cut myself it felt better but i know that i can stop myself when i want to but anyways i didnt make the cuts deep enough to do any real damage but i know that i can stop and this video really helped me thanks
First time I did it, I was like I dunno 15 or so...was talking to my cousin up at his house I just grabbed the razor blade (box cutter) and sliced my upper left arm really fast out of anger...I bled so bad he had to give me a sweater to wear to cover all the blood, and it was summer....also tried taking a razor blade apart from a shaver and sliced my thumb in half once...so I know what you mean....great courage to share this even though it's painful to share..hugs to you!
Thank you for posting this, it's actually comforting to know other people feel the same way... i dont know. I started at 13 too. and thank you for posting this thats all i can say i hope you get better. I really do.
this really helped me cuz i havent heard anyone tell me about there story.
but i been doing it sice 7th grade im in 10th now and im still doing it.
i just cant help it when im angry or feels like no one even cares aboout me i find anything hair pens kitchen knifes my glasses broke so i use the sharp edge of them too.i use to go to therapy but didnt work went to the ER got evaluated i sed everything to not stay at the psych ward upstairs.
my parents were a huge trigger for me too but most of the time it was usually my ex-boyfriends....not being able to concentrate in school, not having money...just any excuse now that i think about it.....
im a guy and for over 4 years ive been a cutter and i know whatr the addiction is like and i feel u and know what it is like to wont to just feel numb and get away from life why is it so hard to stop and why is it so hard to hide the scars and i ust dont know what to say other thatn good luck to all the cutters that actuly wont the help and to stop i do not promote cutting and i reley just dont know what to say to people who the only reson thay do it is cause thay wont attenshion but gotta go
just wanted to say that I am diagnosed with like clinical depression, but when im around friends and stuff I laugh or smile, but the minute im alone the upset feelings come back and stuff like that. I don't really understand why its like that but I think you could stll be depressed if you act different around people...
Thanks for this :) It really helps knowing that there are others out there. Thankfully I stopped, for 6 months now actually. I hope you can stop too, thanks again <3
There are no requirements for being depressed... You don't have to cry, or frown all the time, or constantly be a downer. Just like someone who is happy is not ALWAYS smiling. Being around other people, I've found, actually makes it easier to have fun. When you're alone you're more likely to overthink things, if that makes any sense?
Me and my friends used to steal pencil sharperner's from school, unscrew the blade and use that. Only now I've kicked the habit do I realise how dangerouse and incredbly stupid I was to do that.
I'm 12, and about a month ago, I started cutting myself with tacks. It started losing it's power, so I moved up to a small knife, about a week ago. My dads a handyman, and I needed extra cash, so i'm working with him. We are putting up sheetrock, and he bought a hundred pack of large razor blades. While he wasn't looking, I tested it out mildly, and started to bleed immediately. It was effective, too. He'd been yelling at me ALL DAY. I swiped 2, and yesterday cut myself 7 times. NO WRISTBANDS!
I would just like to say how brave I think you are I have struggled with self harm for the majority of my life and I know how hard it is to give up but it's worth it every second orbit I promise
If you ever need someone to talk to just to get it off your chest, you can talk to me, if you want to
I've really been interested in this topic for a while now. I am in high school and this is something I made a choice to look into. Not that I would turn to that but I am interested in reasons. How someone would turn to this...
im a 22 year old female SI.ive struggled with SI & an anxiety disorder 4 a few years.i just wanted to say how much i admire & applaud u 4 ur courage.ive tried several meds that had bad side effects & therapy is too expensive.its really an inspiration 2 me & im sure others 2 hear from some1 we can relate 2.some family & friends know about my SI & try to help but its hard 4 them 2 really understand.please keep reaching out cos even if it only helps 1 person thats something.THANKS SO MUCH!
Is being genuinely curious a valid answer to your question? I'm not saying it would help to achieve anything, and I'm not saying people would want to see them. For some reason.. sick or completely sane.. I think it would help me personally. I don't know why. I hope you didn't take offense to my comments though seeing as how I got 5 thumbs down it's pretty obvious some people did.
Maybe it was the way you phrased it. I didn't take any offense to it, but a lot of people would say something like that to mock me or troll my videos. I figured you weren't. I have no issues showing my scars, I just never want to trigger anyone. If it will help you, message me and I'll be happy to talk to you, show you, etc.
i know this has nothing to do with self injury (and i'm sorry for that :(. ) but i don't know where else to turn. for my entire life (even when my parents were married) i have not been close to my dad. and now that I live thousands of miles away from him i only see him once a year and talk to him 3-4 times. the issue now is he is putting in a little more effort to talk to me but he has put me through sooo much pain i can't respond even though i want to. please help if you can. :'(
Can someone help, one day I cut myself I was relived and I sorta felt that my problem was gone. Now I don't feel that I really have any problems, but yet I still cut myself 1-2 times a day. I don't know why and I just think about it and I can't think of anything except for just the scars. But they are on my legs. I can't see them, but I can just fell them there and thats just making me want to just cut some more hopefully that they would go away. So if someone could help, thanks.
Snickerlover69, by a person self injuring it produces endorphans in your brain that will triger a releif form whatever reason you origanaly did injure. those endorphans than become addicting.
I did at one point, but I decided YouTube was not the proper place for something like that because people might get the idea I am glorifying SI and I'm not, I think if I show them it will be to deter people from going as far as I have. However I will have something like that on my website when it's done.
you make the comment in this video "back when i was religious." are you not religious anymore? i havent heard you say much about that in your videos...
Right, I'm not anymore no. I made 2 videos about it, called Religion Has Let God Down parts 1 and 2. You can find out more about my experiences and decisions there if you'd like, or send me a message!
i honestly don't know what to do i am really going nuts, i cut all the time now, and people r noticing, i really do want someone to just talk to, but the one person that i did trust is gone, now i don't know what to do, i think that i am going crazy, i work out all day to try and lose weight, but when i go out with friends they force me to eat than i get home and hate myself for it and cut, whats wrong with me?? gosh i hate my life,
just cause your religious dosen't mean others are. people don't need you to go around preaching about god and such. god can't help some people who don't beleive and you shouldn't try and change that bueacuse you would just be telling people what to do, and that alone can cause people to cut.and even people who beleive in god and in other religions dosn't mean they don't cut, it could just mean they want to or they think "god" wants them to. it might not help, but just make people worse.
nothing is wrong everyone has some things about yourself they dont like but
there is Help im not tlking about w/ another person God you might think ya right what ever but what do u have to lose i know from experience that God can help you i Promise
Hey. I am not a cutter but I know a lot of people who are. It's painful for me to watch them go through this and I can't do anything. I never really realized self harm was such a big issue until my first year of high school (this year). I wish I could help. I guess it's ok just being a shoulder to cry on. I don't know. Anyways, good luck to you! :)
Thank you for your videos. I think I speak for all your watchers when I say I'm so glad your suicide attempts didn't work and you're still here broadcasting.
I did 1 time took a needle and a lighter and heated up the needle and burned a scar into my fist it was a heart with me n another person anitials i was 14 that was the only time
Thanks for making this video. I'm a cutter too and I sometimes feel alone so this video reminds me that I'm not. But remember that you're not alone either!
your really brave to make that video, knowing that anybody could be watcing it. true its difficult to stop once you have started.i can go months without doing it but i always think about it.
I was watching this video halfway but could not continue. It made me sad inside. I used to cut myself as well with an old sissors. I grew up with a lot of pain and could not cope. Some times when life gets horried for me or am reminded about my life, I have the urge to cut. It just takes the pain away for a while. I dont do it as often as I used to these days . I admire you so much.
hiya sullengirl. i want to help with your website! i am slowly but very surely stopping hurting myself after 12 years (I'm 21) your videos are insperational! they help loads of peeps.
ive been cutting for about 2 or 3 years, its gotten so bad, i just relapsed not to long ago, when my mom found out she just said it was for attention. but in the real case the first time was because when my mom took me to the store and i culdnt find anything in the store and she yelled at me.ithinkim fat and ugly. when i look in the mirror, i want to cry.i dont know what to do because im afraidit got so bad oncethat i culdnt even wait to run to the bathroom in school.i did it right therein class
You have courage saying this, I know that we don't even know each other but I wish I could ask you :
Keep holding on, if you aren't ready to stop then don't, but never end it all. I've stoped for a few months now, and I only just turned 13. It's been 6-7 months now and I certanily do not want to go through with it again, it's in the past and the past is written but not re read..
You are so brave to do that. i could never imagine having the courage to tell anyone! Although i wish i did. xx i know what you mean bout the hanson thing, when you are addicted the smallest thing can set it off! xxxxxxxxxxx
I started cutting with a razor blade..I havent stopped...it's been 3 years...Well actually I did stop..cuz I was in therapy and I stopped for like 6 months. Now I do it like 5 times a day...I cant help it..Im disgusted with myself all over again and am in that state of mind....I dont think i'll ever stop again...I feel horrible.
i drag my nails down my wrists when im upset and lately i have been using a needle and stabbing it in my arm i dont know what to do because im not depressed or anything like that.
a year ago, i got really upset because my parents decided that i couldnt be trusted (because of something that wasnt my fault). i wasnt thinking, and i scratched my arms with my finger nails until they bled. It made me feel better and i couldnt understand why. so the next day i went and told my friend what happened. she gave me a weird look and said, "Does that mean your a cutter now?" i told her I wasnt (I was being honest). now im in the ninth grade... and guess what? :(
im 13, and my friends found out, then they told my teacher. and of course my teacher told my mom.. that was about a week ago.. i hated my friends for days. but im over it now.. and i realize that they were only helping me. but i am sorta different than what u used/use. i used sizzors and it hurt like hell! that is why i try to stop. i have not been successful, i've been doing it about once every 2 day's.
i've been cutting for about a year, and i seriously can't stop. I reall hate cutting cause i can'tmreall wear short sleeves anymore without braclets going all the way up my arm. The longest i hav ever gonw without cutting is 2 months.
im a self harmer and have been for fouteen years i don't enjoy it one bit apart from the moment of clarity i get in a split second befor the job is done if i don't self harm i can find my self getting angry or frustrated at myself or those around me. It has got worse over the last 8 months because no im going in to deep somtime not even bothering to deal with the wound and withinthe last twelve months hacve been locked up 4 times ,i don't really now what im saying or what i'm doing
I wanted to et you know I can relate to alot of this stuff.. im am self injuring at the moment and am 16. I really dont want to get to my 20s and look back on my teenage years and think tha i have wasted them. your videos really help though and i admire you're braveness for sharing your story thankz x
i admir u for ur guts to post this up. try to keep strong . the biggest thing that got through to me was when my friend said "what are you going to tell your children when they ask "mommy what are those boo-boos" and if ur answer is "i was depressed" they will know now what to do when theyre upset.. and if u make up an excuse, eventually they will grow up and learn bout this stuff and know that their mommy does it too. just keep in mind "mommy what r those boo-boos?."
If you're still doing self injury, you may want to have your doctor check you for hemochromatosis. Women usually don't get this, but I read somewhere that it's associated with this physical disorder. Actually the cure for hemochromatosis is giving blood on a regular basis. Even if you don't have the disorder, you may decide to give blood 3x a year just to help relieve your need to do the self injury, while helping others or banking blood for yourself in case of emergency.
i have been there and i knw whats going on. I cut for 5 years straight and gave it up. sometimes i want to relapse............but i want to completely stop. ah. plz get better its such a burden.
I did it because I wanted to distract myself from the emotional pain. I begged god to make the pain stop and I woke up theh next day numb. I went thriough a series of sexual relationshipswith older women who used me and I would not have survived if I had no been strucjk numb. I learned to becareful what you pray for. That was 17 years ago. I never did again. I sometimes consider using a powersander to "erase" the lines. My brother has a scared forearm from a childhood accident. It gave me idea
I did it once when I was 19. It was love that did it. I had a lot of pain but I met a girl and she was the first person who loved me. She went away to school. I burned myself with little paperclips shaped like a heart. I burned over that area later while she was actually there we had our first fight on valentines day. Later I wrote an entry in my diary by cutting and using a paintbrush to dip my blood. Today the scars are faint. I have had children ask me how they happened. I remember doing it
I'm 27 and i too have been struggling with SI for 8 years. I'm currently going through a 'flare up' as it were where i'm craving it. I really respect your openness and honesty about this very mis-unnderstood aspect of depression. Best of luck xx
my mom just found out i SI and she is being way too nice to me. like, she dusnt hav to be, I dont' want people to think that they hav to be extra nice just so i dont get upset
Yeah, parents usually have hot and cold reactions. Some act way too nice like they have to walk on eggshells around you, and others blow up and get angry. I think both reactions suck.
im 15 and my friend just found out that i do it have been since i was 12 and she ditched me said she did not ant tobe friends with me and then she told a teacher at my school and now i wait tosee what happens next
ohh i really hope your okay now. i self injure to and im trying to stop. god bless and i hope you fine something within yourself that can make you stop.
Something I stuggle with is when I cut people always call me emo or something horrible like that. i've been cutting for 2 or 3 years now and i've given up on staying strong. I think you are a beautiful person and it takes alot of guts to be so open with it. I wish you all the best.
Making a comment on such a delicate issue is like walking on thin ice, if I say the wrong thing, you might go straight ahead and injure yourself....so I'd rather remain neutral and don't say anything.
I think you give yourself too much credit. I'd never injure myself over a random comment from someone online. That is a common misconception about self injurers, that you have to walk on eggshells in order not to upset them. I absolutely hate that, because I want people to be themselves around me regardless of what I may struggle with personally. But thank you just the same for being aware of others' feelings. Take care.
Personnally, I don't think that what I think can have a huge influence on other people, I'm not god, buddha or whatever deity you can think of. I was just trying to be cautious. But since you think I gave myself too much credit and that you won't start cutting yourself after anyone's comment, here's what I think: you need a shrink and medication.
But I think you already know that but you like to cut yourself so much because of the relief it brings you that you won't care about my opinion.
My comment wasn't intended to be snarky, but to let you know that in fact most people who self injure won't do it just because someone says something they don't agree with.
Luckily I agree with you on self harmers needing a shrink and medication. Thankfully I have access to both and they do help. But to say I LIKE to cut myself is a stretch, I think I made it quite clear in this video that I hate cutting myself, although this video was made 2 yrs. ago. Take care.
im not sure how it is for everyone but when i self injure its because i feel that im about to explode and i need to do something...when i cut myself i feel physically better like it feels like im floating
I've been cutting since i was 10 sadly my mother found out,she saw the horrible scar on my head and she instantly took me to the professional and i was diagnosed with severe depression (i still drink Prozac) later when i was 12 my parents found my "armory" my stock of screwdrivers,knifes,nails,sharp plastic ...and things got worse they already saw me as a mental person (they still do actually everyone here see me like that becouse of the primitive surroundings)..sadly the struggle still lasts..
it is possible to quit.. you need to stay strong.. its tough, so so tough. I did it for 8+ years, I had a small tiny tiny relapse less then a week ago. Its like alcohol addiction. You gotta always be.. aware that this can come back and try to hit you down the road. Its hard, but Sullengirl.. trust me.. you can do this.. I know I can to.. believe in yourself, and know that you have my best and warmest wishes to fight it.. I understand.. I know sometimes its nice to know that. Love ya, good luck
Ive had the major erge to cut...I just wanna grab a knife and start, but im so afraid of the pain. im slowly starting and i know one day i will grab the knife and really go at it i bet...but the fear of pain is holding me back. im so scared for my future...
i thought i could stop at any time but hat never happened..
my parents have found out so i am recovering for them! its so hard and i hope anyone who is thinking about starting to SI should not its awfull so dont start its a HUGE strugle!!
and best wishes to anyone who has read this or anyone who is trying to stop!
counseling doesn't help and never will unless you find someone who has had the same experiences and knows how to help you.. until then they are just taking your money and wasting your time
i started about 2 months ago and it got really bad i did it on my leg and life felt so empty and when i did it a felt so alive but my friends found out and got so pissed they even had this big intervention for me but to tell the truth it didnt help it made me feel worse the only people that understood were other cutters but that would just make me feel worse, i've started up again and i dont know how to stop i sorta dont want to all us cutters need to stick together
pleasee help mee...i used to cut myself altough i donnt do it any more now a friend is doing it, but what she does is way worse, she almost died laast thursday :S and we dont know what to do, i meaan, should we tell her parents? or what can we do to stop her? pleasee help me ... :S
First try talking to her. Let her know that you understand, and that she can come to you with her problems. Trying to make someone stop cutting never helps. It only makes things worse. Try to convince her that it is not worth it, and that there are better ways to cope. If that doesn't work, then tell her parents. But be sure to explain that they can't make her stop or she will just feel worse about it. When she finally desides for herself that she wants help, then she will get help.
Ive been cutting since I was 11. I turned 20 in october. I feel kinda like this at this point. Ive tried so many times to stop for other people but Ive never really tried to stop for myself. I dont think Ill ever stop until I try and stop for me and I really feel that I have no reason to. I really hoped you got through that night.God bless and thank you for understanding that we're not sick.
well ive been a cutter for something like 2 and a half years now, im turning 28 this coming Feb, so I might what you call a late bloomer with this, when you said one reason why you do it is to feel alive, yea I know that feeling, but over here in Australia, I dont cut in the hotter time of the year simply cause when I do, there is no way I can cover it up, and this is something I dont want my family to know......
I feel the same as you. I started when I was 13, I still do it now, getting deeper and more serious. My mum shrugged it off when she found out last year, my sister laughed and the rest of my family don't know about it. My teachers and friends are concerned and I only ever consider stopping because of my family and friends. If I didn't have them I'd probablly not be here. So I can safely say that we can struggle together xxx
I started when I was 13 and I am almost 24. It CAN be stopped, and hopefully you will stop it before you get to be my age. Best of luck to you, stay strong :)
The thing you said about how you have your years marked by self injury is completely happening to me.
Im a sophomore in highschool, been cutting since 8th grade, everything revolves around it and i feel like nothing else has happened to me since i started, its all a blur around self injury and it fucking sucks, because i cant stop.
u are a beautiful person. God Loves u so much you can't even imagine. He created u and He loves u. u are in my prayers, and I noticed u said u don't know what to do. Read the book of Psalms in the bible and pray. u r such a beautiful person and i think u should embrace the fact that God loves u so much that He died for u. Please I promise u that if u pray and read the book of Psalms u will see the light again because God is waiting for u to come back to Him so He can embrace u in His love
I have had a similar problem, ive been really depressed, this guy through texting we had something going on i thought and one day he forces me to do something i didnt want to and tells me all he wants me for is that and stops talking to me, that really hurt me and its been a year now and i have a great boyfriend, all ive wanted but i cant shake that feeling and its been hard, im too much of a wuss to cut my wrists so i grind my knuckles on concreate instead haha
Okay well lately my best friend has been just scratchng herself with needles and things and i dont want her to do anything else that'll lead to something worse you know? and um i kinda understand why shes doing it, her internet boyfriend actually died that she really loved and she hasnt been coping well.
Wow, This Video Made Me Feel Like I Can Relate. I'm 17 And I've Been Self Harming For Nearly 2 Years, I Quit For 5 Months But Recently Started Again, Its So Hard To Stop, I Understand Your Pain. I Know You Don't Know Me But I'm Proud Of You For Making This Video, Its Not Easy To Tell People About Self Harming. Much Love. X
its finee if little kids watch these things as long as they are watching it for a good reason i think ten is like really young but i mean im not that old either sooo i cant judge but a lot of people start these things around my age for example: i had a very good friend that would cut herself she had thin blood and she didnt know it she bleed to death sooo no offense but because of that im kind of against it
wow.i dont mean to sound stupid but a lot of what u said really applies 2 my life. "I can't stop for anyone but myself, but I dont WANT to stop for myself" sums it up best. i am a highschool sophomore,&my boyfriend of a year and a half keeps telling me that i need to stop, but i CANT. its so tempting every day, I can't see a compass in math class without thinking about it, and eventually i can't control it nemore and the only thing that gets me thru the day is thinking ill do it when i get home
Know how u feel. I was forced to stop for awhile cause my mom saw the cuts. But soon as everyone thoutht I was okay I started againg.I never well kill myself for know cutting only solution.
it helps because it takes your mind of being sad. go play a game, make some mates go out and whatever, have some fun and if your sad cos ppl are giveing you shit about your wait or how you look or whatever, hit them in the fucking head i did, and now its aaaaaaaaaaaaaal good :)(i never cut myself, cos well. thats pritty fucking silly)
She is not encouraging people to do it. She is truthful. & she is telling people not to make the same mistake she did. I have made these mistakes, i still do. It's reality. I'm glad she made this.
but kids are watching you, a ten year old girl left you a comment. look at how many videos you have on the one topic. It's egotistical and you are sensationalizing self injury. I'm just commenting my pov on your video, not trying to offend you. It's a serious topic and there isn't enough information, just too many people like you exploiting it.
I am not exploiting it at all, in my opinion. I talk about my own experiences and I have spent hours and hours replying to thousands of emails from people much younger than me, who wanted some advice. I don't claim to be an expert on anything but my own story. That 10 yr old self injured too, so it's a different situation. The ppl on YT who have videos of them slicing into their skin are the ones romanticizing/exploiting it.
I disagree with you also Catgirl. I agree that a 10 yr. shouldn't be watching these types of videos, but that doesnt mean they wont, or that watching it will cause her any harm. After reading the 10 year old's comment, I can infer that she is concerned and was not only looking for more info on the subject, but was also looking for advice. I think it ignorant of you to beleive that talking about personal experiences, such as sullengirl has, is promoting/glorifying cutting or self injury at all.
Little kids are watching your video, do you think that maybe you're promoting cutting and self injury and not being helpful? You look a bit junked out.
little KIDS should not be looking up videos on self injury on youtube, period. Not only that, but I am not promoting it. Watch my video called Am I pro Self Injury that I JUST posted to see my stance on it, you are so very wrong. And that was rude, I don't do any drugs.
and theres this girl that ive known for 2years now,
and this year she began to cut herself,i really feel bad for her.
in fact she showed me them the other day at recess,i think she had like 2 or 3.....
im one of the few people that know.i REALLY hope she can stop....
i pray for Maria (thats her name)all the time..and i kno a 17 year old that ive known for 3 years(Joey,my emo chuckie cheese buddy),and he cuts to.and i mean ALOT!like 40 on one arm!
okay i wanted to say that i understand wat your going through.i have been dignosed with being bipoler when i was ten and and i still till this day i dont stop cutting myself and one day in fith grade i grabed a joniters box cutting knife and slit my wrist and the techer told the counsler and my mom and i stoped for about and few mounths and it came back in sixth grade and then it stopped and in 7th grade i cut my self with a penicl sharpener and it was bleeding all over the floor.
I really understand. i'm 15 and have been doing it since i was 13. i've only told 4 really close friends. and 2 of them do it too and one of them has once. they're really understanding. i'm just worrying about my parents finding out. i can't hide the scars forever but it makes me feel so much better. my dad would be so dissapointed. i don't mean to, but its like, like im addicted. :/
I would first like to say i love watching your videos, ive gained a lot of insight from them. This particular video speaks to me deeply when you discuss why you need to cut and how you feel when you do. One particular way i deal with my emotions is writing poetry. I really think you would like my poem "Hugs" and "downpour of blood" (in my videos) they're about cutting. Keep the videos coming take care
Aww I never cut when I found out Taylor was married but I did rip my posters off the wall. I didn't start cutting until a few years after he married but if I had been cutting at that time I probably would have cut.
Have you ever felt like you could float when you left counseling? Because I watch your videos regularly and I can see that you aren't getting better from something that is actually supposed to be of assistance and one time I had to go because my sister needed counseling at the time and when everyone left they felt like they were on a good high. Kaiser seems to have good therapists, that is the one I went to. You should check it out. It IS annoying though :/
Oh really? wow! well it's a professional health care facility that is in various cities. They have their own clinics and hospitals ( you can look them up ) they have quality health care and that's where I had a counseling session and it felt good after even though at the moment it was kind of shitty. The psychologist just took the words out of our mouth without trying. It was weird but helpful :) I live in California though so maybe they don't have this in your state or something.
I can relate to that... It;'s hard, and most people who do stop relapse several times in their lives. You aren't alone... It's the same way for me, I haven't been able to stop completely in the course of 11 years, and nothing has ever truly helped 100%. But, you have to keep trying. Eventually, things will start to get better. Keep you chin up, hun.
okay....... i need help...... idk wat to do..... my mom keeps telling me to wear shorts but that is were all my cuts r..... all up and down my legs.... and if she finds out she is going to put me in therepy and i am not going to be able to do that..... I keep trying to fight her off but i am losing.... and the last time i cut myself waz yesterday..... so i have new cuts on my legs.... i dont know wat to do.....
You could make up an excuse about how you aren't, or how you didnt shave your legs, or say your shorts are dirty. she cannot force you to wear shorts, so try to compromise. do you have capris or a long skirt? leggings maybe? good luck.
Im 14 And i dont know why evey one thinks only girls do it im a mail 14 I have been cutting sence i was like ten but it was not a good choice to start I kills me every day i have to look at my scars or cuts knowing that the smile i whar is face and every one thinks im happy i dont know what to do any more
shuneverything 2 years ago 8
im fourteen ive been doing it for 2 years< and it is a total addcition, it weakens you, if u have never done it and think hey im a strong person i just wanna be able to say been there done that , didnt thrill me PLEASE SO NOT it isnt that easy it will take teh strongest person and beat them down til there the weakest person, it changes the way you think act ,and obviosly dress, u cant control the want, the need, you act secretive cuz u dont want ppl to kno, and you wear clothes to cover them
thislifehatesme 2 years ago
u sound just like me
buggzilla909 2 years ago
I'm fifteen and recently started cutting. I mainly started because I had friends that self injure, and I didn't understand why, so I thought I'd try it. I didn't think it would work but...uhm. Anyways one night my parents were fighting (rather harshly I might add). I was crying and ontop of my parents, my boyfriend and school had been weighing hard on me. I took the razor out of a box cutting tool my dad had, and was surprised when the cutting calmed me down and I stopped crying....hmm...
LivingDeadNinja 2 years ago
I started at the age of 10 and still do it. I am 15 almost 16. I started by peeling off skin and then razors, knifes, then sharpener blades, and the things they used to disect things in biology. I realized that my self injury escalates and I am scared.
RainDrops2Waterfall 2 years ago
I'm 13. I smashed a pencil sharpaner, and took the razor.
RuneFinity44 2 years ago 10
same
PsychoBlade3000 2 years ago
Comment removed
RuneFinity44 2 years ago
i did that too i am also 13
gangstachillin09 2 years ago
same here & i'm 11 :'(
MizzBizarre 2 years ago
You said it feels good that you talked about it and got it off your chest,maybe you should talk about it more,it could solve something
TheBashStreetKid95 2 years ago 4
This comment has received too many negative votes show
same here in some regards. cept i have major depression with obssesional thinking. have taken meds, been to a day therapy program with counseling, alternative medicine, talk therapy, nothing works. what caused it was graduate school, which encourages you to abandon your sense of identity to embrace post modern relativism, and also reading alot of philosophy books on the side including alot of Friedrich Nietzsche (never read him!) I understand the importance of numbing pain. try electroshock
chrispollock 2 years ago
I'm a very big fan of all of your videos. I think that, how you put yourself out there in the Youtube community is really inspiring and brave of you. I want to just thank you for expressing your feelings because I too am a cutter. Before viewing your videos I thought I was the only one with mixed emotions and temptations. Your videos helped very much.
So thank you sullengirl for helping me realize I'm not the only burning candle. :)
Many good wishes to you,
Msxblackxvelvetx
msxblackxvelvetx 2 years ago
man i feel so sorry for you.
i know what your going through..
Claricebarrellx 2 years ago
The thing with cutting is that it is generally a coping system, I feel better when I cut. I get easily upset about certain things when I'm on my own that are quite meaningless really but to the fact I have Bipolar Disorder and Raynaud's Disease doesn't help. People that cut themselves arn't really what you should call healthy but are obviously very intelligent to use an impartial system to help them.
Godscominglookbusy 2 years ago
When I am numb, I feel alive when I cut. I know it's not good.
1973piglet 2 years ago
I understand about cutting and stopping for months and having a relapse, I have never cut that extreme. I can see how easy that can happen.
1973piglet 2 years ago
wow thank this reminds me im not the only one
puertoricangurl1223 2 years ago 2
thankyou.
rasbperryswirl 2 years ago 2
i just started self-injury because i was really upset and i,ve felt like cutting myself before but i stopped but today i was really hurting but after i cut myself it felt better but i know that i can stop myself when i want to but anyways i didnt make the cuts deep enough to do any real damage but i know that i can stop and this video really helped me thanks
Xxdymon206Xx 2 years ago 2
First time I did it, I was like I dunno 15 or so...was talking to my cousin up at his house I just grabbed the razor blade (box cutter) and sliced my upper left arm really fast out of anger...I bled so bad he had to give me a sweater to wear to cover all the blood, and it was summer....also tried taking a razor blade apart from a shaver and sliced my thumb in half once...so I know what you mean....great courage to share this even though it's painful to share..hugs to you!
SuperMetalAngel 2 years ago
Thank you for posting this, it's actually comforting to know other people feel the same way... i dont know. I started at 13 too. and thank you for posting this thats all i can say i hope you get better. I really do.
m4d1s0n999999999 2 years ago
this really helped me cuz i havent heard anyone tell me about there story.
but i been doing it sice 7th grade im in 10th now and im still doing it.
i just cant help it when im angry or feels like no one even cares aboout me i find anything hair pens kitchen knifes my glasses broke so i use the sharp edge of them too.i use to go to therapy but didnt work went to the ER got evaluated i sed everything to not stay at the psych ward upstairs.
BrittBRUTALify 2 years ago
my parents were a huge trigger for me too but most of the time it was usually my ex-boyfriends....not being able to concentrate in school, not having money...just any excuse now that i think about it.....
BeautifulHyster1a 2 years ago
im a guy and for over 4 years ive been a cutter and i know whatr the addiction is like and i feel u and know what it is like to wont to just feel numb and get away from life why is it so hard to stop and why is it so hard to hide the scars and i ust dont know what to say other thatn good luck to all the cutters that actuly wont the help and to stop i do not promote cutting and i reley just dont know what to say to people who the only reson thay do it is cause thay wont attenshion but gotta go
shuneverything 2 years ago
just wanted to say that I am diagnosed with like clinical depression, but when im around friends and stuff I laugh or smile, but the minute im alone the upset feelings come back and stuff like that. I don't really understand why its like that but I think you could stll be depressed if you act different around people...
littlelycan 2 years ago
Thank you so much. I've been addicted since I was 9, which is really sad. :\ Ihaven't done it in a month now, but I've been addcited for years.
OurLadyOfSorrows12 2 years ago
Thanks for this :) It really helps knowing that there are others out there. Thankfully I stopped, for 6 months now actually. I hope you can stop too, thanks again <3
onennoy 2 years ago
This really helps. Thanks for being so open. I wish you nothing but the best.
Reinhilde07 2 years ago
There are no requirements for being depressed... You don't have to cry, or frown all the time, or constantly be a downer. Just like someone who is happy is not ALWAYS smiling. Being around other people, I've found, actually makes it easier to have fun. When you're alone you're more likely to overthink things, if that makes any sense?
What your friend said is ignorant.
JacksXmessengerX 2 years ago 2
i did the same thing i stole from my art class ..... i think your really brave like really really brave....
geminisfire 2 years ago 2
Thank u 4 all ur video blogs! U r helpn me stop b4 it gets too bad. U r so brave to do this :D
TKDrocks15 2 years ago
Me and my friends used to steal pencil sharperner's from school, unscrew the blade and use that. Only now I've kicked the habit do I realise how dangerouse and incredbly stupid I was to do that.
12 months and no cuttycut! :D
phoenixtilidie 2 years ago 3
I'm 12, and about a month ago, I started cutting myself with tacks. It started losing it's power, so I moved up to a small knife, about a week ago. My dads a handyman, and I needed extra cash, so i'm working with him. We are putting up sheetrock, and he bought a hundred pack of large razor blades. While he wasn't looking, I tested it out mildly, and started to bleed immediately. It was effective, too. He'd been yelling at me ALL DAY. I swiped 2, and yesterday cut myself 7 times. NO WRISTBANDS!
Moosocute 2 years ago 4
im 13
and i used to cut,
this is really inspiring.
coriesayshai 2 years ago
Hey
I would just like to say how brave I think you are I have struggled with self harm for the majority of my life and I know how hard it is to give up but it's worth it every second orbit I promise
If you ever need someone to talk to just to get it off your chest, you can talk to me, if you want to
Nessa x
247randomness247 2 years ago
I have nothing to say other than that you are extremely brave.
Well done. <3
Bananargh 2 years ago 2
I've really been interested in this topic for a while now. I am in high school and this is something I made a choice to look into. Not that I would turn to that but I am interested in reasons. How someone would turn to this...
krae90h 2 years ago
thank you for ur hellping me.
gothilover 2 years ago
im a 22 year old female SI.ive struggled with SI & an anxiety disorder 4 a few years.i just wanted to say how much i admire & applaud u 4 ur courage.ive tried several meds that had bad side effects & therapy is too expensive.its really an inspiration 2 me & im sure others 2 hear from some1 we can relate 2.some family & friends know about my SI & try to help but its hard 4 them 2 really understand.please keep reaching out cos even if it only helps 1 person thats something.THANKS SO MUCH!
ericfox19 2 years ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
Show us your scars.
rachelzchannel 2 years ago
Why would you ask that?
LinktheHylianHero 2 years ago
I honestly want to know what you think that would help achieve, or why people would want to see that? I really am curious. Thoughts?
xsullengirlx 2 years ago
Is being genuinely curious a valid answer to your question? I'm not saying it would help to achieve anything, and I'm not saying people would want to see them. For some reason.. sick or completely sane.. I think it would help me personally. I don't know why. I hope you didn't take offense to my comments though seeing as how I got 5 thumbs down it's pretty obvious some people did.
rachelzchannel 2 years ago
Maybe it was the way you phrased it. I didn't take any offense to it, but a lot of people would say something like that to mock me or troll my videos. I figured you weren't. I have no issues showing my scars, I just never want to trigger anyone. If it will help you, message me and I'll be happy to talk to you, show you, etc.
xsullengirlx 2 years ago
taylor hanson
nintendo362 2 years ago
lol....yep.
xsullengirlx 2 years ago
i know this has nothing to do with self injury (and i'm sorry for that :(. ) but i don't know where else to turn. for my entire life (even when my parents were married) i have not been close to my dad. and now that I live thousands of miles away from him i only see him once a year and talk to him 3-4 times. the issue now is he is putting in a little more effort to talk to me but he has put me through sooo much pain i can't respond even though i want to. please help if you can. :'(
fluterify 2 years ago
Can someone help, one day I cut myself I was relived and I sorta felt that my problem was gone. Now I don't feel that I really have any problems, but yet I still cut myself 1-2 times a day. I don't know why and I just think about it and I can't think of anything except for just the scars. But they are on my legs. I can't see them, but I can just fell them there and thats just making me want to just cut some more hopefully that they would go away. So if someone could help, thanks.
snickerlover69 2 years ago
i used to cut. i dont anymore...
im 16 and it pretty much ruined my life.
i found out its not worth it and it gets addicting...
all i have to say is dont let it take over your life!
lgrall68 2 years ago 3
Snickerlover69, by a person self injuring it produces endorphans in your brain that will triger a releif form whatever reason you origanaly did injure. those endorphans than become addicting.
MushiMushi100 2 years ago
please make a video showing your scars.
amateuraddiction 2 years ago
I did at one point, but I decided YouTube was not the proper place for something like that because people might get the idea I am glorifying SI and I'm not, I think if I show them it will be to deter people from going as far as I have. However I will have something like that on my website when it's done.
xsullengirlx 2 years ago
you make the comment in this video "back when i was religious." are you not religious anymore? i havent heard you say much about that in your videos...
amateuraddiction 2 years ago
Right, I'm not anymore no. I made 2 videos about it, called Religion Has Let God Down parts 1 and 2. You can find out more about my experiences and decisions there if you'd like, or send me a message!
xsullengirlx 2 years ago
This has been flagged as spam show
wow! i didnt think youd even read my post let alone reply! thank you - il check em out.
amateuraddiction 2 years ago
I read every comment I get (even if sometimes I don't reply to all of them). No problem!
xsullengirlx 2 years ago
i honestly don't know what to do i am really going nuts, i cut all the time now, and people r noticing, i really do want someone to just talk to, but the one person that i did trust is gone, now i don't know what to do, i think that i am going crazy, i work out all day to try and lose weight, but when i go out with friends they force me to eat than i get home and hate myself for it and cut, whats wrong with me?? gosh i hate my life,
cheerjellybabe 2 years ago
Comment removed
chrisepoo95 2 years ago
just cause your religious dosen't mean others are. people don't need you to go around preaching about god and such. god can't help some people who don't beleive and you shouldn't try and change that bueacuse you would just be telling people what to do, and that alone can cause people to cut.and even people who beleive in god and in other religions dosn't mean they don't cut, it could just mean they want to or they think "god" wants them to. it might not help, but just make people worse.
sai36987 2 years ago
This has been flagged as spam show
nothing is wrong everyone has some things about yourself they dont like but
there is Help im not tlking about w/ another person God you might think ya right what ever but what do u have to lose i know from experience that God can help you i Promise
chrisepoo95 2 years ago
When you said you cant stop for anyone else and you don't want to, that descrived me perfectly
kahnesgirl80 2 years ago
OMG SAME REASON I DO IT.
emoweirdosammi 2 years ago
this helps alot it makes me feel like i am not the only one that cuts
firecheerleader 2 years ago
ive like that ur videos r inspiring ,thnx im a cutter as well i hope i get through this
gabi97clark 2 years ago
Hey. I am not a cutter but I know a lot of people who are. It's painful for me to watch them go through this and I can't do anything. I never really realized self harm was such a big issue until my first year of high school (this year). I wish I could help. I guess it's ok just being a shoulder to cry on. I don't know. Anyways, good luck to you! :)
Gobey1kanobi 2 years ago
Thank you for your videos. I think I speak for all your watchers when I say I'm so glad your suicide attempts didn't work and you're still here broadcasting.
Good luck. :)
Cresiessm 2 years ago
i love you !! Your video's are soooo helpful !! Ur amazing !! P.S i love the song your listening to :P !! xxxx
andit112 2 years ago
live life to the fullest and be happy. :)
ajhulagirl 2 years ago
I did 1 time took a needle and a lighter and heated up the needle and burned a scar into my fist it was a heart with me n another person anitials i was 14 that was the only time
jilliena 2 years ago
i cut but not that often and like you said it makes it to where i can actually feel something...
boxerbaby101 2 years ago
YO- ARE-AN-AMAZING-PERSON.
hayleyevans12 2 years ago 4
Thanks for making this video. I'm a cutter too and I sometimes feel alone so this video reminds me that I'm not. But remember that you're not alone either!
Good luck in your recovery.
chinesemushrooms 2 years ago 3
your really brave to make that video, knowing that anybody could be watcing it. true its difficult to stop once you have started.i can go months without doing it but i always think about it.
mylifestillsucks 2 years ago
i cut with a razor
bifflesloveshugs 2 years ago
ppl gave u thumbs down, well i use a razor too....
ypppiz 2 years ago
I was watching this video halfway but could not continue. It made me sad inside. I used to cut myself as well with an old sissors. I grew up with a lot of pain and could not cope. Some times when life gets horried for me or am reminded about my life, I have the urge to cut. It just takes the pain away for a while. I dont do it as often as I used to these days . I admire you so much.
stormisblue 2 years ago
is that simple plan playing in the background
bluegrassaaron 2 years ago
hiya sullengirl. i want to help with your website! i am slowly but very surely stopping hurting myself after 12 years (I'm 21) your videos are insperational! they help loads of peeps.
lilychieflet 2 years ago
Thanks for offering to help! Send me a message :) Take care.
xsullengirlx 2 years ago
ive been cutting for about 2 or 3 years, its gotten so bad, i just relapsed not to long ago, when my mom found out she just said it was for attention. but in the real case the first time was because when my mom took me to the store and i culdnt find anything in the store and she yelled at me.ithinkim fat and ugly. when i look in the mirror, i want to cry.i dont know what to do because im afraidit got so bad oncethat i culdnt even wait to run to the bathroom in school.i did it right therein class
greenartt123 2 years ago
You have courage saying this, I know that we don't even know each other but I wish I could ask you :
Keep holding on, if you aren't ready to stop then don't, but never end it all. I've stoped for a few months now, and I only just turned 13. It's been 6-7 months now and I certanily do not want to go through with it again, it's in the past and the past is written but not re read..
Have hope
please..
roseskate 2 years ago
You are so brave to do that. i could never imagine having the courage to tell anyone! Although i wish i did. xx i know what you mean bout the hanson thing, when you are addicted the smallest thing can set it off! xxxxxxxxxxx
bethanBB 2 years ago
I started cutting with a razor blade..I havent stopped...it's been 3 years...Well actually I did stop..cuz I was in therapy and I stopped for like 6 months. Now I do it like 5 times a day...I cant help it..Im disgusted with myself all over again and am in that state of mind....I dont think i'll ever stop again...I feel horrible.
thisismyness 2 years ago
i have found my self cutting today for the first time but the reason why i do it is because the pain when i cut is better then my emotional pain
kittykatsback 2 years ago
i drag my nails down my wrists when im upset and lately i have been using a needle and stabbing it in my arm i dont know what to do because im not depressed or anything like that.
pagnlizz 2 years ago
I'm 23 and have been cutting for about 2 years. I havent cut in over a year now. If I can do it, you can do it!
HANSON! YAY! I saw the poster on your wall! WOO!
HansonsBitch 3 years ago
a year ago, i got really upset because my parents decided that i couldnt be trusted (because of something that wasnt my fault). i wasnt thinking, and i scratched my arms with my finger nails until they bled. It made me feel better and i couldnt understand why. so the next day i went and told my friend what happened. she gave me a weird look and said, "Does that mean your a cutter now?" i told her I wasnt (I was being honest). now im in the ninth grade... and guess what? :(
Shadowstorm1358 3 years ago
im 13, and my friends found out, then they told my teacher. and of course my teacher told my mom.. that was about a week ago.. i hated my friends for days. but im over it now.. and i realize that they were only helping me. but i am sorta different than what u used/use. i used sizzors and it hurt like hell! that is why i try to stop. i have not been successful, i've been doing it about once every 2 day's.
evanescencerokz 3 years ago
i am thirteen and i have just started, im afraid someone was going to find out
SAGEBUS 3 years ago
i've been cutting for about a year, and i seriously can't stop. I reall hate cutting cause i can'tmreall wear short sleeves anymore without braclets going all the way up my arm. The longest i hav ever gonw without cutting is 2 months.
mypainhurtsforever 3 years ago
im a self harmer and have been for fouteen years i don't enjoy it one bit apart from the moment of clarity i get in a split second befor the job is done if i don't self harm i can find my self getting angry or frustrated at myself or those around me. It has got worse over the last 8 months because no im going in to deep somtime not even bothering to deal with the wound and withinthe last twelve months hacve been locked up 4 times ,i don't really now what im saying or what i'm doing
fewell101 3 years ago
I am a bit older then you and I know exactly where you are. I wish you to get better asap, try to stop that quickly, is't not worth it. xxs
zimuska 3 years ago
I wanted to et you know I can relate to alot of this stuff.. im am self injuring at the moment and am 16. I really dont want to get to my 20s and look back on my teenage years and think tha i have wasted them. your videos really help though and i admire you're braveness for sharing your story thankz x
roseposee 3 years ago
i admir u for ur guts to post this up. try to keep strong . the biggest thing that got through to me was when my friend said "what are you going to tell your children when they ask "mommy what are those boo-boos" and if ur answer is "i was depressed" they will know now what to do when theyre upset.. and if u make up an excuse, eventually they will grow up and learn bout this stuff and know that their mommy does it too. just keep in mind "mommy what r those boo-boos?."
all the best and gl
israelidimpleqte 3 years ago
If you're still doing self injury, you may want to have your doctor check you for hemochromatosis. Women usually don't get this, but I read somewhere that it's associated with this physical disorder. Actually the cure for hemochromatosis is giving blood on a regular basis. Even if you don't have the disorder, you may decide to give blood 3x a year just to help relieve your need to do the self injury, while helping others or banking blood for yourself in case of emergency.
Fusionkast 3 years ago
i have been there and i knw whats going on. I cut for 5 years straight and gave it up. sometimes i want to relapse............but i want to completely stop. ah. plz get better its such a burden.
Shefearsreality 3 years ago
I did it because I wanted to distract myself from the emotional pain. I begged god to make the pain stop and I woke up theh next day numb. I went thriough a series of sexual relationshipswith older women who used me and I would not have survived if I had no been strucjk numb. I learned to becareful what you pray for. That was 17 years ago. I never did again. I sometimes consider using a powersander to "erase" the lines. My brother has a scared forearm from a childhood accident. It gave me idea
TrueDavebucket 3 years ago
I did it once when I was 19. It was love that did it. I had a lot of pain but I met a girl and she was the first person who loved me. She went away to school. I burned myself with little paperclips shaped like a heart. I burned over that area later while she was actually there we had our first fight on valentines day. Later I wrote an entry in my diary by cutting and using a paintbrush to dip my blood. Today the scars are faint. I have had children ask me how they happened. I remember doing it
TrueDavebucket 3 years ago
can i have your msn ? x
rachelbenness88 3 years ago
Send me a message with yours and I will add you :)
xsullengirlx 3 years ago
me too me too! ^^
ImaJuggernautBIIITCH 3 years ago
I'm 27 and i too have been struggling with SI for 8 years. I'm currently going through a 'flare up' as it were where i'm craving it. I really respect your openness and honesty about this very mis-unnderstood aspect of depression. Best of luck xx
rosyclarke 3 years ago
my mom just found out i SI and she is being way too nice to me. like, she dusnt hav to be, I dont' want people to think that they hav to be extra nice just so i dont get upset
pinkrox606 3 years ago
Yeah, parents usually have hot and cold reactions. Some act way too nice like they have to walk on eggshells around you, and others blow up and get angry. I think both reactions suck.
xsullengirlx 3 years ago
im 15 and my friend just found out that i do it have been since i was 12 and she ditched me said she did not ant tobe friends with me and then she told a teacher at my school and now i wait tosee what happens next
krisgallia99 3 years ago
i know how u feel.
im sorry!
i hope u get better :)
<3
LanaLiger 3 years ago
ohh i really hope your okay now. i self injure to and im trying to stop. god bless and i hope you fine something within yourself that can make you stop.
xxmaggierose 3 years ago
Something I stuggle with is when I cut people always call me emo or something horrible like that. i've been cutting for 2 or 3 years now and i've given up on staying strong. I think you are a beautiful person and it takes alot of guts to be so open with it. I wish you all the best.
6Twilight6Addict6 3 years ago
Making a comment on such a delicate issue is like walking on thin ice, if I say the wrong thing, you might go straight ahead and injure yourself....so I'd rather remain neutral and don't say anything.
domdom111111 3 years ago
I think you give yourself too much credit. I'd never injure myself over a random comment from someone online. That is a common misconception about self injurers, that you have to walk on eggshells in order not to upset them. I absolutely hate that, because I want people to be themselves around me regardless of what I may struggle with personally. But thank you just the same for being aware of others' feelings. Take care.
xsullengirlx 3 years ago
Personnally, I don't think that what I think can have a huge influence on other people, I'm not god, buddha or whatever deity you can think of. I was just trying to be cautious. But since you think I gave myself too much credit and that you won't start cutting yourself after anyone's comment, here's what I think: you need a shrink and medication.
But I think you already know that but you like to cut yourself so much because of the relief it brings you that you won't care about my opinion.
domdom111111 3 years ago
My comment wasn't intended to be snarky, but to let you know that in fact most people who self injure won't do it just because someone says something they don't agree with.
Luckily I agree with you on self harmers needing a shrink and medication. Thankfully I have access to both and they do help. But to say I LIKE to cut myself is a stretch, I think I made it quite clear in this video that I hate cutting myself, although this video was made 2 yrs. ago. Take care.
xsullengirlx 3 years ago
Self injury is a coping mechanism for you. You hate to cut yourself but it relieves your anixiety. Right?
88ran08 3 years ago
i feel sorry for you but i just dont get how hurting yourself makes anything better? (im not putting u down coz one of my closest friends does it)
slipknot2148 3 years ago
im not sure how it is for everyone but when i self injure its because i feel that im about to explode and i need to do something...when i cut myself i feel physically better like it feels like im floating
lilzoza 3 years ago
I've been cutting since i was 10 sadly my mother found out,she saw the horrible scar on my head and she instantly took me to the professional and i was diagnosed with severe depression (i still drink Prozac) later when i was 12 my parents found my "armory" my stock of screwdrivers,knifes,nails,sharp plastic ...and things got worse they already saw me as a mental person (they still do actually everyone here see me like that becouse of the primitive surroundings)..sadly the struggle still lasts..
Ladyshadowdark 3 years ago
ive been cutting for over a year now.
ive tried stopping multiple times, but nothing has worked.
i even think my mom stopped believing in me...
NINAxCASSANDRA 3 years ago
it is possible to quit.. you need to stay strong.. its tough, so so tough. I did it for 8+ years, I had a small tiny tiny relapse less then a week ago. Its like alcohol addiction. You gotta always be.. aware that this can come back and try to hit you down the road. Its hard, but Sullengirl.. trust me.. you can do this.. I know I can to.. believe in yourself, and know that you have my best and warmest wishes to fight it.. I understand.. I know sometimes its nice to know that. Love ya, good luck
Leeman17 3 years ago
Ive had the major erge to cut...I just wanna grab a knife and start, but im so afraid of the pain. im slowly starting and i know one day i will grab the knife and really go at it i bet...but the fear of pain is holding me back. im so scared for my future...
darkwriter101 3 years ago
hey guys!
this is a great video..just like the other ones!!
i myself am 13 and am recovering from SI.
i thought i could stop at any time but hat never happened..
my parents have found out so i am recovering for them! its so hard and i hope anyone who is thinking about starting to SI should not its awfull so dont start its a HUGE strugle!!
and best wishes to anyone who has read this or anyone who is trying to stop!
hope i helped!! :)
ps sorry for my poor spelling!!!
Emowhisper13 3 years ago
counseling doesn't help and never will unless you find someone who has had the same experiences and knows how to help you.. until then they are just taking your money and wasting your time
Hotvans545 3 years ago
i started about 2 months ago and it got really bad i did it on my leg and life felt so empty and when i did it a felt so alive but my friends found out and got so pissed they even had this big intervention for me but to tell the truth it didnt help it made me feel worse the only people that understood were other cutters but that would just make me feel worse, i've started up again and i dont know how to stop i sorta dont want to all us cutters need to stick together
TroublesomeTrio333 3 years ago
pleasee help mee...i used to cut myself altough i donnt do it any more now a friend is doing it, but what she does is way worse, she almost died laast thursday :S and we dont know what to do, i meaan, should we tell her parents? or what can we do to stop her? pleasee help me ... :S
maradde 3 years ago
First try talking to her. Let her know that you understand, and that she can come to you with her problems. Trying to make someone stop cutting never helps. It only makes things worse. Try to convince her that it is not worth it, and that there are better ways to cope. If that doesn't work, then tell her parents. But be sure to explain that they can't make her stop or she will just feel worse about it. When she finally desides for herself that she wants help, then she will get help.
T3hSmexyVampire 3 years ago
Ive been cutting since I was 11. I turned 20 in october. I feel kinda like this at this point. Ive tried so many times to stop for other people but Ive never really tried to stop for myself. I dont think Ill ever stop until I try and stop for me and I really feel that I have no reason to. I really hoped you got through that night.God bless and thank you for understanding that we're not sick.
magemystic 3 years ago
i am so sad for you!! :(
leungbabe 3 years ago
Hey u have 2 stop try the hardest this is gonne end ur life do it 4 urself.
teh scar is gonne stay for ur hole life think about it, u must stop its like a drug, only u can make urself feal better.
Cutting urself doesnt help.
And stop buying razors. or dont enter the kitchen.
Just stop its gonne ruin ur life.
sasukezstory 3 years ago
well ive been a cutter for something like 2 and a half years now, im turning 28 this coming Feb, so I might what you call a late bloomer with this, when you said one reason why you do it is to feel alive, yea I know that feeling, but over here in Australia, I dont cut in the hotter time of the year simply cause when I do, there is no way I can cover it up, and this is something I dont want my family to know......
robinalexlewis 3 years ago
I love you.
glowsticksarehxc 3 years ago 3
Why thank you, love you too :)
xsullengirlx 3 years ago
haha that was cute
jared20134 3 years ago
I feel the same as you. I started when I was 13, I still do it now, getting deeper and more serious. My mum shrugged it off when she found out last year, my sister laughed and the rest of my family don't know about it. My teachers and friends are concerned and I only ever consider stopping because of my family and friends. If I didn't have them I'd probablly not be here. So I can safely say that we can struggle together xxx
totalH20 3 years ago
i started cutting when i was 13 and im 15 and i still do it.
WHEN WILL THE MADNESS STOP?
SEAMUSLOVESYOU 3 years ago
It will. I know it's very difficult to stop, trust me, but it can be done. Just stay strong k :) Take care.
spx105 3 years ago
I started when I was 13 and I am almost 24. It CAN be stopped, and hopefully you will stop it before you get to be my age. Best of luck to you, stay strong :)
xsullengirlx 3 years ago
im gonna be honest i cutt myself
yess its true and i did it not too long ago
and i started when i was 11 yrs old and im 12 now and its just not like stoppable for me.
:[
sims105 3 years ago
it is ok i do it to....u are not alone (i am 12years old to)
sammywammylove 3 years ago
The thing you said about how you have your years marked by self injury is completely happening to me.
Im a sophomore in highschool, been cutting since 8th grade, everything revolves around it and i feel like nothing else has happened to me since i started, its all a blur around self injury and it fucking sucks, because i cant stop.
thank you so much for your videos.
whateverlife232 3 years ago
u are a beautiful person. God Loves u so much you can't even imagine. He created u and He loves u. u are in my prayers, and I noticed u said u don't know what to do. Read the book of Psalms in the bible and pray. u r such a beautiful person and i think u should embrace the fact that God loves u so much that He died for u. Please I promise u that if u pray and read the book of Psalms u will see the light again because God is waiting for u to come back to Him so He can embrace u in His love
dudzers 3 years ago
im getting really sad =[
sexiiXwebcamXgirls 3 years ago
I'm sorry :(
xsullengirlx 3 years ago
ANYWAY. thats my story, im trying to understand what my mates going through i just dont really see what she gets doing it you know?
KikiChaos 3 years ago
I have had a similar problem, ive been really depressed, this guy through texting we had something going on i thought and one day he forces me to do something i didnt want to and tells me all he wants me for is that and stops talking to me, that really hurt me and its been a year now and i have a great boyfriend, all ive wanted but i cant shake that feeling and its been hard, im too much of a wuss to cut my wrists so i grind my knuckles on concreate instead haha
KikiChaos 3 years ago
FUCKKKKK OUCH
worldofwarcraftpimp 3 years ago
lol yeah =/
xPureFantasyx 3 years ago
Okay well lately my best friend has been just scratchng herself with needles and things and i dont want her to do anything else that'll lead to something worse you know? and um i kinda understand why shes doing it, her internet boyfriend actually died that she really loved and she hasnt been coping well.
KikiChaos 3 years ago
Wow, This Video Made Me Feel Like I Can Relate. I'm 17 And I've Been Self Harming For Nearly 2 Years, I Quit For 5 Months But Recently Started Again, Its So Hard To Stop, I Understand Your Pain. I Know You Don't Know Me But I'm Proud Of You For Making This Video, Its Not Easy To Tell People About Self Harming. Much Love. X
emoishly1 3 years ago 4
Awesome vid girlie.
If ppl are offended they should turn it off. Its a huge issue for a lot of us and no its not pretty or glamorous in any way :(
AngeliaChanel 3 years ago
luvsthehotties13 3 years ago
wow.i dont mean to sound stupid but a lot of what u said really applies 2 my life. "I can't stop for anyone but myself, but I dont WANT to stop for myself" sums it up best. i am a highschool sophomore,&my boyfriend of a year and a half keeps telling me that i need to stop, but i CANT. its so tempting every day, I can't see a compass in math class without thinking about it, and eventually i can't control it nemore and the only thing that gets me thru the day is thinking ill do it when i get home
utuberabc123 3 years ago
Know how u feel. I was forced to stop for awhile cause my mom saw the cuts. But soon as everyone thoutht I was okay I started againg.I never well kill myself for know cutting only solution.
12aarnett 3 years ago
it helps because it takes your mind of being sad. go play a game, make some mates go out and whatever, have some fun and if your sad cos ppl are giveing you shit about your wait or how you look or whatever, hit them in the fucking head i did, and now its aaaaaaaaaaaaaal good :)(i never cut myself, cos well. thats pritty fucking silly)
wisrostron 3 years ago
She is not encouraging people to do it. She is truthful. & she is telling people not to make the same mistake she did. I have made these mistakes, i still do. It's reality. I'm glad she made this.
NeverTooLate1134 3 years ago
but kids are watching you, a ten year old girl left you a comment. look at how many videos you have on the one topic. It's egotistical and you are sensationalizing self injury. I'm just commenting my pov on your video, not trying to offend you. It's a serious topic and there isn't enough information, just too many people like you exploiting it.
Catgirllllll 3 years ago
I am not exploiting it at all, in my opinion. I talk about my own experiences and I have spent hours and hours replying to thousands of emails from people much younger than me, who wanted some advice. I don't claim to be an expert on anything but my own story. That 10 yr old self injured too, so it's a different situation. The ppl on YT who have videos of them slicing into their skin are the ones romanticizing/exploiting it.
xsullengirlx 3 years ago
I disagree with you also Catgirl. I agree that a 10 yr. shouldn't be watching these types of videos, but that doesnt mean they wont, or that watching it will cause her any harm. After reading the 10 year old's comment, I can infer that she is concerned and was not only looking for more info on the subject, but was also looking for advice. I think it ignorant of you to beleive that talking about personal experiences, such as sullengirl has, is promoting/glorifying cutting or self injury at all.
marisa0marian 3 years ago 4
Little kids are watching your video, do you think that maybe you're promoting cutting and self injury and not being helpful? You look a bit junked out.
Catgirllllll 3 years ago
little KIDS should not be looking up videos on self injury on youtube, period. Not only that, but I am not promoting it. Watch my video called Am I pro Self Injury that I JUST posted to see my stance on it, you are so very wrong. And that was rude, I don't do any drugs.
xsullengirlx 3 years ago
your.my.hero<3
thatandreachick 3 years ago
im 10 (very mature)
and theres this girl that ive known for 2years now,
and this year she began to cut herself,i really feel bad for her.
in fact she showed me them the other day at recess,i think she had like 2 or 3.....
im one of the few people that know.i REALLY hope she can stop....
i pray for Maria (thats her name)all the time..and i kno a 17 year old that ive known for 3 years(Joey,my emo chuckie cheese buddy),and he cuts to.and i mean ALOT!like 40 on one arm!
-praying to stop
Lili
padlili 3 years ago
okay i wanted to say that i understand wat your going through.i have been dignosed with being bipoler when i was ten and and i still till this day i dont stop cutting myself and one day in fith grade i grabed a joniters box cutting knife and slit my wrist and the techer told the counsler and my mom and i stoped for about and few mounths and it came back in sixth grade and then it stopped and in 7th grade i cut my self with a penicl sharpener and it was bleeding all over the floor.
wjhsfootballplayer 3 years ago
I really understand. i'm 15 and have been doing it since i was 13. i've only told 4 really close friends. and 2 of them do it too and one of them has once. they're really understanding. i'm just worrying about my parents finding out. i can't hide the scars forever but it makes me feel so much better. my dad would be so dissapointed. i don't mean to, but its like, like im addicted. :/
Abbieaddiction9993 3 years ago
i would just like to say you are an amazing person and what advice would you give if smeone at 15 was self harming how would they stop thanks x
sweetkelly008 3 years ago
I would first like to say i love watching your videos, ive gained a lot of insight from them. This particular video speaks to me deeply when you discuss why you need to cut and how you feel when you do. One particular way i deal with my emotions is writing poetry. I really think you would like my poem "Hugs" and "downpour of blood" (in my videos) they're about cutting. Keep the videos coming take care
InTheMindOfThePoet 3 years ago
Aww I never cut when I found out Taylor was married but I did rip my posters off the wall. I didn't start cutting until a few years after he married but if I had been cutting at that time I probably would have cut.
jessicahanson 3 years ago
Have you ever felt like you could float when you left counseling? Because I watch your videos regularly and I can see that you aren't getting better from something that is actually supposed to be of assistance and one time I had to go because my sister needed counseling at the time and when everyone left they felt like they were on a good high. Kaiser seems to have good therapists, that is the one I went to. You should check it out. It IS annoying though :/
SilverSuspension 3 years ago
I never felt "floaty" in a way that was a good kind of high. Maybe floaty in a dissociative way. What is Kaiser, I have never heard of it... :)
xsullengirlx 3 years ago
Oh really? wow! well it's a professional health care facility that is in various cities. They have their own clinics and hospitals ( you can look them up ) they have quality health care and that's where I had a counseling session and it felt good after even though at the moment it was kind of shitty. The psychologist just took the words out of our mouth without trying. It was weird but helpful :) I live in California though so maybe they don't have this in your state or something.
SilverSuspension 3 years ago
It scares me . . .
Its a really bad addiction.. I've stopped for months at a time, but I keep relapsing . . I don't want to do it, but i can't stop...
When I feel numb, its the only thing I can do to feel better.
I've been through counceling and it helped for a short time.. but I can't stop completely.
Last night I actually cut myself about 40 times and carved "hate me" and "fuck up" in to my arm and i just hate myself for doing it, but i cant stop
Lizzeh94 3 years ago
I can relate to that... It;'s hard, and most people who do stop relapse several times in their lives. You aren't alone... It's the same way for me, I haven't been able to stop completely in the course of 11 years, and nothing has ever truly helped 100%. But, you have to keep trying. Eventually, things will start to get better. Keep you chin up, hun.
xsullengirlx 3 years ago
okay....... i need help...... idk wat to do..... my mom keeps telling me to wear shorts but that is were all my cuts r..... all up and down my legs.... and if she finds out she is going to put me in therepy and i am not going to be able to do that..... I keep trying to fight her off but i am losing.... and the last time i cut myself waz yesterday..... so i have new cuts on my legs.... i dont know wat to do.....
Pyroxbrit 3 years ago
You could make up an excuse about how you aren't, or how you didnt shave your legs, or say your shorts are dirty. she cannot force you to wear shorts, so try to compromise. do you have capris or a long skirt? leggings maybe? good luck.
xsullengirlx 3 years ago