You better not be making dragons in the attic!

[icarus313]

"We don't want any poofs in this family!"

XD

[ASevenFold6661]

Craig, can you help me find my clitten? BAHAHAH

[TheIronweasle]

Geeky teen who writes novles? Thats me!

[OddlyRandomPro]

one year later... spider pig from the simpsons movie.

[MooseOfReason]

One of the best shows on TV. And the show doesn't have a serious feel to it, which is why it's so great.

[kamtiniyes]

@gulllars

That was the first thing I thought!

SPIDER PIG! SPIDER PIG! DOES WHATEVER A SPIDER PIG DOES!

[shadowsndust284]

@kamtiniyes

Can he swing

from a web?

No he can't,

He's a pig.

[gulllars]

"charlots web"  SPIDERPIG! Spiderpig" Does whatever a spiderpig does!

[DetoxJesus]

Thank you, Craigyferg, for putting into words the reason I don't like audiobooks.

Actually, Eragon-boy's parents owned the publishing company.

[COLmegoCOLma]

I hope they remake the eragon movie...and this time less crappyer....the cgi was good though XD

[klomedih]

@COLmegoCOLma

amen to that.

[drube77]

erogon = steal all the material you can and shove it in one book

[SnoSixtyTwo]

At first i thought his humor was a bit flat. But then again, he has to come up with new stuff almost every night. And if you start picking out the gems, like this one, it's exhilerating.

[blondfromfinland]

those first thirty seconds are priceless

[montypythonchick1]

Call me, Ishmael!

[Iluveryanstiles]

Eragon is a good book though!! Movie wasnt that great

[mrlightman643]

Such a rare talent these days, especially in late night television... Observe the Scottish accent vanishing on command at 1:00.

[ANOTHERify]

he should sue the simpsons people for the spiderpig thing :P

[flaze3]

'no dad, I'm just masturbating', lol

[g0bi]

Is that a real audience? Sounds kinda fake!

[vvelvettearss]

I'm crying!!!! When he said Klittons/clittons? I laughed so friggin hard, I better stop watching these or am gonna wake everybody up lol

Thankyou CBS

[eliasirbouh101]

@vvelvettearss fuck CBS thank craig for being funny

[kevinohisamazing]

How is this funny? I'm sorry, it's just my personal view, but, I don't find this guy funny at all. I understand how other people might think he's funny I guess, but... I dunno, my friend said this guy was good, and I'm just not seeing it. If anyone can link me to one of his funniest shows, I'd be very glad.

[foltrap6]

You probably don't get the jokes.. quite a few people don't, they're rather quick!

[kevinohisamazing]

Oh trust me, I understand the jokes fine. Cloned Cat= Clitten. I see, um, very funny? Him making overly dramatic expressions on his line about the book tapes is... funny? I mean, wheres the interesting part of the joke? How do people relate to the joke? There are so many jokes to be had on cloned kittens, yet he just combined the words to make Klitten. And that masturbation joke was rather dumb and low key in my opinion. So please, sum1 link me to his best show and prove me wrong.

[AsSomedayItMayHappen]

kevinohisamazing; You remind me of this dense uptight nerd in one of my math classes who always took everything seriously and didn't understand real humour. Maybe that WAS you?

[kevinohisamazing]

Yes, it's true, that WAS me! It WAS me in that math class! How did you ever know? And since I'm asian, that would make me a nerd, huh? But hey, don't take my sarcasm too seriously, it's just humor ;)

Besides, I was just sharing my opinion, calm down dude.

[AsSomedayItMayHappen]

You were just sharing your opinion, and I was just sharing mine: It was my opinion that you were acting dense and uptight, and that you have a bad sense of humour. I was completely calm.

And I assure you I wont take you seriously; of that you can be certain.

[kevinohisamazing]

If you're sharing your opinion, why didn't you say, "in my opinion, you are so and so..."? It will considered judging if you don't you know. And there is no such thing as a bad sense of humor, I mean, some people like Craig Ferguson, and some don't. So everyone who doesn't like Craig Ferguson has a bad sense of humor? Well, I guess that's just your point of veiw ;)

And I assure you I wont take you seriously; of that you can be certain.

[AsSomedayItMayHappen]

I don't have to preclude everything I say with "in my opinion" in order for it to be my opinion.

And for the record, I didn't say that "everyone who doesn't like Craig Ferguson has a bad sense of humour." I said YOU have a bad sense of humour.

[duhastmesh94]

God, just stop the bitch fighting already. =.= one of you likes him, the other doesn't THERE. If you're gonna keep fighting, at least PM eachother. We don't want to read it.

[LibbyDeters]

omg, funniest thing i've seen in a long time...

apparently their very hard to find... :)

[xtaffy]

I love the voice he switches to when he pretends to be the audio book guy, haha. makes me laugh every time.

[4thekiller]

i know its the best he does it soo freaking well.....

[n0nc0nf0rm1st]

Eragon, as a book, was amazing.

The movie was terrible though. Never before have I wanted to actually throw my over-priced drink at the theater screen because the movie turned out so bad. Except for the third Harry Potter movie.

That was lame, too.

A show should be done about directors and their shameless massacre of literature.

[firegoat]

totally agree on the third harry potter movie. it just butchered the story and missed out so uch that it ruined all possible future movies >_>

[spamthewow]

spiderpig...lol like in the simpsons

[666vixen]

bahahaha i thought of spiderpig, too!!!!

[pookster000]

hahahaha "clitten" lol =]

[gregor2102]

c'mon scotland

im glad he's made it big in america

[MyBobbyRomance]

wat are u doing up there!? i hope your not writing books about dragons!!

no dad!! im just masturbating!!! 

lol tht made me laugh

[summerfae]

haha, shows you know nothing about science.

[Squirelpie]

the eragon books rocks so hard.

i didnt know paolini was that young.

[sideshowbobthe2nd]

lmao another fergulicious stand-up

[mariana1polis]

"Hope u'r not writing a book about dragons."

the best

[altergibmirnnamen]

he's soooooo funny

[asraiSOA]

"Half spider, half pig that goes nuts..." ROTFLMAO

[Craigo5]

Good good, we don't want any poofs in this family! Hahaha

[VideoXPG]

"I'm just masturbating" HA, Brilliance.

[dechha1981]

If it teaches kids to read it must be good.

If it pisses off religious fanatics, even better!

[Jaded7]

The FergerKing = Funny

[Smeagollum86]

finally a talk show host who's actually funny

[Gremrat]

Haha oh my god he rocks XD

[deb35802]

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Craig Ferguson! Leno, Letterman, and O'Brien could take funny lessons from him! He is the KING of talk shows!

[zandra74001]

he has read moby dick... my god i am not the only reader left in this world..

[ehughes15]

no dad Im just masterbating!!lol!! thats what you wouldnt say!!lol

[funkycherrygirl]

SO glad CBS posts these gems on youtube - no other way to watch them over here in the UK and Craig is just fucking hillarious! "No dad I'm just masturbating" "Good we don't want any poofs in this house!" LOL!

[vaecor]

he gets better with every show

[darkstar10990]

that opening line was great. KLITTENS!

[AlkaStealther]

Craig Ferguson rules!

[Takhar7]

lmfao.a clitten..apparently they are very hard to find,but worth alot of you can get your hands on them!

[Chimory]

YES. THAT'S RIGHT! 16 years old and HOMESCHOOLED. Most homeschoolers are pretty smart. I'm a homeschooler... I'm not smart though.

[honeymustela]

hahaha I LOVE CRAIG!! that was some funny stuff.. haha "no dad i'm just masterbating!"

[AnutaCielo]

lmao

[TableNinja]

i wish paolini had just been masturbating. eragon sucks so bad. xD

[demoniceeyore]

CLITten!

[waasik]

My dad checks on me every hour... that's why I haven't write a book about dragons yet :/ and I'm not masturbating <_< ok maybe sometimes... >_> naaaah... what a nice weather we have today :P

Craig is great as always ;)

[KULCAT]

Thats when you mix to different species of animals. Like a donkey and horse mate and out comes a mule. The mule is sterile

[amforbes]

LMFAO!!!

[R9X41]

Call me ishmael! lol

[jmdiner]

hahahaha i like it

[bettyb00pbr]

apparently, they are very hard to find...

[ChrisB12Many]

"klitten. Hard to find, but worth a lot if you can get your hands on one!"

Too true!

[twistedguitars]

Klitten !!!!  Klassic ;)

[AyeAyeMatey]

Haha :D

Hope your not writing a box about dragons!

[laurajanewayne]

funny!

[hseth]

hahahahaha

[PrincessPooHole]

no dad Im just masterbating! Ha

[kuryamtl]

klitten... and the queerguy bit, and the bit about"no im just masterbating" oh hi-larious

[ludo1565]

HAHA! Cloned cat, wtf... Clitten!

[bigjohnlyfhs06]

LOL I LOVE CRAIG FERGUSON

[YopaBeats]

omfg lmfao! dis guys a total legend!

[milicornejo]

Hahaha!!

He's great!!

[kapperlmensch]

No I'm just masturbating LMAO

[streetballer2k6]

first comment yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

lol

Anyway -clitten- hahahahahhahahaha

[Vegarmelk]

Lol:P!

[1990glass]

lol

[tenchi811]

Im just masturbating Lol:-D

[surfingcookie]

He is sooo funny. I never know when hes on I always miss it.

[samizaki1]

lol

[SpiderLycan]

Clittons!!! This guy rocks, Letterman blows.

[SpandexIsHot]

Klitten! LMFAO

[snake880]

I love this guy

[SaveMeJeebs]

I killed a dragon once.

[iamlikeyou]

lol hes so funny :D