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From: TheYoungTurks
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  • Classic: 3d Masturbation

  • I lol'd so hard when I read the title.

  • Are women still that unimportant in the eyes of religions that they are totally ignored?! I mean, they masturbate too. And that's ok?! Owkee, sperm is offcourse a very rare substance and it's not like it is made in amount off millions by the male body everyday and therefore should not be spilled, sure thats true offcourse.. Ow wait, it's not... hahahaha, what an idiot this guy!

  • Young Pastor.. ah yes.. oh lord this is gonna be funny. This guy has allot to learn still.

  • I just noticed the tags for this video.  LOL

  • @TheCurmudgen BibleMasturbation, MasturbationJesus xD

  • "...why are they not obsessed by the poor?" Because sex is a red herring, so to speak. They +KNOW+ what the bibles say about poverty, and about giving up their worldly goods. They just don't want to do it, so they're distracting with sex. For goodness sakes, this church pastor has told us more about his own sexual fantasies than he obviously considered. What a whack job. Oh.., oops, pun.

  • it's still sinful because it is outside marriage if u r looking at ur girlfriend's picture or even if u were married and she was there since it is not involved in the act of procreation that makes it a big ole no no...

  • Someone explain to him what a homosexual is

  • Does he not realize that women masturbate too? That involves a woman? Is that gay? Woah! If I masturbate that cancels out my gay?

  • The only thing we can know for certain is that this pastor is gay. But that's actually a good thing. The only church officials that aren't gay are the child molesters. Reality check, churchies...there isn't a heterosexual man alive who would agree to a life of celibacy. That ain't how we roll.

  • @Snakepliskinist actually he looks like a closet gay in a way-->

  • Flow chart!! lmfao

  • i find this easy to Masturbate too.

  • This show is WAY better without the fat kebab shop owner.

  • if your wife was there why would you need to masturbate?

  • @darkwarriorkane she is in jail and can't reach thru the bars

  • so what? many pastors are secretly GAY. so WTF?

  • What if jesus had children :]

  • "every sperm is sacred . . ."

  • @mariahwaite ". . . every sperm is good!"

  • hey guess what i could care less if its labeled homo or not, not going to stop me!!

  • Jesus says its a sin to even think lustfully, so by the time you get to masturbating youve already hardened your heart toward God.

  • Hermaphrodites are the lucky ones. They could fuck themselves, and it would be totally hetero!

  • SO... MOST MEN ARE HOMO'S?

  • Comment removed

  • God knows our hearts i prefer to know that then to listen to this guy own opinion that is not from the bible. The bible states if a man looks at a woman lustfully and has her in his heart then he has committed adultery. Same thing to a woman!! Seriously what the heck?

  • i'm ready to believe anything that'll make me cut down the amount of times i do it in a day lol

  • lol!!!

    "Flow"-chart

  • when, oh when will christians leaders just come out of the closet?

  • No. Homosexuality needs to involve ANOTHER human being.

  • So cute how she pronounces "mirror" as "meer". I think she's from British Columbia, their dialect sounds like that.

  • @Woggyflush She's of armenian origin...

  • @Acrimonator

    okay but was she raised in B.C.?

  • @Woggyflush Sorry, I just guessed on her name, I didn't read her bio... XD

  • im gay(er) now.

  • Masturbating in front of a mirror and getting turned on by yourself is not gay...it's NARCISSISM, which by the way totally fits in with the ego of an asshole who thinks he has the right to judge other peoples sexual and masturbatory habits and gets up on the pulpit interpreting Gods word.

  • lmfao, that is awesome. 3d masturbation. What if your masturbating another man? is that gay?

  • Oh man, I'm Christian and I should get a women to hold my penis when I piss!

  • I AM SO GAY

  • Compares masturbation to homosexuality....well, we know what HE thinks about when he masturbates, and in his pride projects it onto other people. He will SAVE us from the gayness...his OWN gayness....

  • The Flowchart of Wanking, YES!

  • @tctheunbeliever you mean asexual, sex with yourself/alone

  • that guy is a bloody legend ^^ 3d masturbating rofl

    whats the odds that this priest comes out gay in the next couple of years

  • that guy is a bloody legend ^^ 3d masturbating rofl

  • It's christianity... What do you expect?

  • Yeah I find clergy is a great reference to go to when I have sexuality related questions...

    /sarcasm

  • So if masturbating is gay how come when this guy targets little boys it's not?

  • Lol wtf

  • its a good thing ana is wearing heavy clothing, or i would be gay right now.

  • Ay its cool 2 masturbate once in a while just dont do it 2 much ay ese turns fooz in da pinta gay

  • lmfao 

  • I'm sorry...

    I missed the actual quote where this guy said: "I masturbate in front of the mirror to myself" ???

  • @onggoytatay

    It's reading between the lines, because the pastor is clearly projecting.

  • @dmiller185 I'm sorry. I missed the "reading between the lines" section in my critical thinking course....

    Also... WHAT is he "clearly" projecting?

    Cus I read that YOU are CLEARLY projecting that you molested your 5 year old niece...

    Perverts like you should be arrested...

  • Maybe the word is "autosexual," like "autobiography"?

  • FUCK THIS GUY,IM JACKIN OFF AS WE SPEAK !

  • I wonder if I'm gay masturbating about being a werewolf vigilante and then fantasizing about that fellow from Canada who was in the movie Black Christmas who's now in his 60s. That's it I'm going to hell for sure.

  • That guy is gay

  • The bible actually does talk about some guy spilling his "seed."

  • Most epic testimonies ever! Masturbation is Auto-Sexuality, not Homosexuality. CULTS like Abrahamic G-D/resurrected ZOMBEE are OBSESSED with resurrection of the FLESH. Use a mirror, to appreciate your OWN TEMPLE OF CREATION - it is awesome, I assure you. And in the longterm it has the effect that you will do something for your body. PenusChristus, resurrecting on a SiXXpack is monumental! Too many Americans cannot watch their resurrecting Flesh, due to hopelesslyBigBelly this is an abomination.

  • He is probably jacking off himself! YOU KNOW HE IS! They are all such hypocrites.

  • God gave us long arms so we can masturbate - just think how messed up everyone would be is we had short arms..

  • i think this pastor would be alot happier if he just came out of the closet.

  • This is just insane. :/ I don't know how he can honestly believe that. So I'm a girl....I guess if I masturbate I'm a lesbian? Wow. I've got nothing against lesbians but I don't think that makes me one.

  • hahaha I totally pictured steve masturbating when he made that comment.

  • Comment removed

  • 2:08 steve just nailed it!

  • Anthony Weiner masturbates in front of the mirror.

    look what happened to him!

  • Why would you masturbate when your wife is present? Wouldn't it be simpler to just sex her up?

  • @WolfsStorm Some couples masturbate together, but each for their own RESURRECTING FLESH, and watching the partner worshipping Penus(the)Christus and MICRO-Penus Christi, respectively turns them on. I am not kidding! I prefer MUTUAL masturbation though, perfectly together with kissing *YummmmmmY*

  • What if your wife is in the room, but she's having a threesome with a homeless lady and Don King? And you're watching Top Gun? What if your wife was in the room when you started, but she left to go make you a sandwich and get you a beer but didn't make it back in time? What if your wife is in the room grooming your dog? What if your mother-in-law is in the room? What if your wife is in the room wearing a Richard Nixon mask? What if you're watching a porn of your wife fucking a dog?

  • @HomleandSecurity Don King???

  • @HomleandSecurity What if you're masturbating to homemade porn where you're wife is in the room, manning the camera but she's filming two men having sex? What if your wife is pegging another man and you're masturbating to that? What if you're masturbating to a video of yourself masturbating to your wife masturbating to a video of you masturbating to your own reflection? Masturbatception.

  • @animal0mother What if your father's mother is getting boned by your mother's father in the room while you watch porn of adopted midgets getting raped by transvestite satanists? What if your wife is in the room but she's dead? What if you're fingering your dead wife while rubbing one out to old videos of NHL fights? What if you're smoking your dead wife's ashes while an East German nurse bones you with a strap on as you masturbate to a picture of Tony Danza on Good Friday?

  • @HomleandSecurity All of those are necrophilia.

  • @animal0mother Not the first one

  • @HomleandSecurity For me it is.

  • @animal0mother If there's no dead person involved, how is it necrophilia?

  • @HomleandSecurity There is a dead person involved in my case.

  • thats how i used to think about it as a young christian teenager, then i started masturbating.

  • Masturbation isn... wait, when did a mirror get involved? Who said a mirror was normal?! What is wrong with this pastor?

  • HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA­HA

  • LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!­!!

    

  • Im very gay for myself... lmaoo

  • this man speaks for all Christians.

  • Hilarious clip!

  • Steve Oh bought up an interesting point. If you masturbate with 2 mirrors. The first mirror makes you gay, but the second mirror crosses the first mirror out.

    To recap: masturbating with 1 mirror is gay. masturbating with 2 mirrors is straight.

  • @shaworld Hahahah LOL AyAyAy! Thank you.

  • I think that pastor needs to stop transcending his own homosexual issues on to the rest of the world.

  • The pastor's opinion on masturbation is one to be ignored. Now, pass me the lube!

  • 3D masturbation XDDDDDD

  • Bullshit, men don't masturbate to themselves, they masturbate to homosexual  women.

  • it's like the only thing religious people fear is sexual activity, like my god it's your fucking nature, how can you preach against it?

  • @ShiBluWolf there's a different between man made and God created. The naturalness is a MAN with a Woman. Adam and Eve is the first example and the best example. God knows best.

  • @UnderstandingAll r u muslim? i used to be but i left cuz im gay its natural to me.

  • @ShiBluWolf  I know my pastor talks about he even tells married couples to have it often thank God my church isn't all cultish

  • WWJD?

  • @Kenz305 Masturbate in front of a mirror?

  • 3:52 pitcher dwight states anna, haha

  • Of course they got to try to link jacking off the homos, cuz even most Xtian men aren't going to stop jerking off because jerking off is supposed to be bad. Put the fear of queer to it they might, but don't make that bet U place money on that happening.

  • @donyunger This will probably make them do it more.

  • I grew up in a church where the preacher was so against homosexual, that he preached against almost every Sunday at some point. And this was roughly 10-20 years ago. I consider myself a Christian in a sense but really one of the reasons I don't go to church is due to this obsessive need to preach against basically any form of sexuality, although that wasn't really Jesus' issue.

  • @PrincessKLS can you say 'fixation'???

  • What about women? Am I gay because I use vibrators and dildos on myself?

  • 1:01 yes you are ;)

  • Well, this man is obessed with his own penis obviously and just a typical fucked up right-wing religious nut ...so useless and tiring.

  • Yes because I, a man who frequently masturbates to harems of lesbians am the epitome of the queer. Being turned on by women is totally gay if you're not actually married. Because everyone knows no gay men is going to marry a women or anything...

  • i dislike this asian guy

  • this isn't news. 

  • is it 'gay' to masturbate to pictures of Jesus, or would that give one a 'pass'?

  • @jamesedwardtheobald not gay, Just means you really really love Jesus.

  • @RedSkiesAwaitUs heh, genuine lol... 

  • what if you masturbate without touching yourself?

  • @jamesedwardtheobald You cream your jeans?

  • er, actually gays were stoned in the old testament, and even paul in the new testament says that homosexuality is unforgivable (or near unforgivable)... dude needs to get his facts straight

  • It makes some sense even on an anthropological level, when you touch yourself in a sensual manner you are in a de facto sense touching a man, unless of course you think yourself less a man then you may be a pedophile because you would consider yourself a boy.

    No doubt when you touch wang to excitation you be gay, even if that wang be yours

  • god forbid, don't touch yourself while having sex with a woman, oh, wait, that's okay then, nice use of sophistry, typical christian nonsense...

  • sounds like the pastor speaks from experience...

  • well someone in Seattle is in MAJOR denial...

  • Just like the young TURDS to take on idiots opinion and apply it to all christians. It is like taking a black guy that robbed a store and saying all black people steal.

  • @Bellita1

    only a racist like you WOULD be QUICK use that as an example.

  • @CUTWEST Oh so now I am a racist for making a comparison? You Demmies are always playing the race card. Do you have any other cards?

  • @Bellita1

    Who ever said i was a "Demmy" to begin with? You RepubliKKKans ALWAYS assume that anyone that's opposed to your CLEARLY racist beliefs are automatically labeled Democrats. Are you guys purposely always THAT arrogant to NOT realize they're other political parties out there besides Coke and Pepsi? Or are you guys just THAT simple minded period?

  • @Bellita1

    BUT! since you don't like the race card, I play another one..how about BIGOTS! yeah, thats more accurate. Cuz we all know Gay people AREN'T classified as a "Race". But you idiots believe that's the case so no surprise there.

  • @CUTWEST What did I say that was bigoted? The Bigot card is the same as the race card. I never said I agree with the pastor. I just think the young TURDS suck because they take one person's statement and apply it to entire groups of people.

  • Lol if masturbation is gay then I guess this pastor just came out...

  • Really. . .jacking off is gay now. .. really?. . . is this how the " pastors " will try to turn every straight male into a homo. . by labeling all there actions as gay. . . . here's the new list

    Masturbate = gay

    Peeing = gay

    Taking a shit = gay

    Working out = gay

    Fixing your car = gay

    Playing sports = gay

    Watching sports = gay

    Bowing down in front of another dude on your knees so he can " bless " you = Straight

  • @pimpinnevaslipin Well, maybe all those things are 'gay' since gays do all those things, come to think of it straights do those things too...

  • @Ana... dear girl, you only 'think' you're not around when men are masturbating. Promise...

  • Ice Cold, Ape

  • Alpha Phi Alpha

  • Ana, wtf is a 'mere'?

  • Pretty sure this guy gives himself tug jobs all damn day long.

  • Maybe I am gay. I just jacked off to the guy on this video but maybe since that Anna chick was also in the image, I am straight and its ok

  • can I fuck a pie while looking at big tits?

  • BPA is a female hormone that our government adds to all plastics products-I suggest you look into why so many men arent even gay but dam near female or border line bitches in America because BPA is banned in Canada and parts of Europe

  • i jacked it twice before this video even ended.

    KEvron

  • @KEvronista Thanks for the info.

  • @MrDaphool

    and it's still less info than driscoll revealed about himself in his admonition.

    KEvron

  • @KEvronista Uh, you're serious...

  • @MrDaphool

    what tipped you off?

    KEvron

  • @KEvronista Your serious reply.

  • @MrDaphool

    tough to slip one past you.

    KEvron

  • @KEvronista You're too much.

  • @MrDaphool

    oh, i'm a regular beast.

    KEvron

  • Trust me Ana. You are around when men masturbate.

  • @CrashtUnBurned Oh cool thx bro

  • Shit, I do it 2-3 times a week, I must be a flaming fag now!

  • @thEannoyingE 2-3 times a day more like =]

  • I find this video difficult to masturbate too!

  • So if masturbation is considered homosexual because there is no woman involved, does this mean that I am exempt from this rule as I am a woman?

  • @jynxedgal1989 Giggity.

  • @jynxedgal1989

    of course, go right ahead

    hmm what if a man masturbates picturing himself as a woman would that be considered homosexual?

    XD

    the stupidity of this guy is hilarious

  • @jynxedgal1989

    Nope a male has to be in the room with you. . otherwise your a hateful lesbian who hates Males and your mocking Jesus at the same time. . . according to the " new " pastor rules and thoughts

  • @jynxedgal1989 well, not if the pastor wants to keep his stash of hot girl-on-girl porn!

  • I believe Pastor Driscoll has just ejaculated a subjective confession­.

  • LMAO! "You don't wanna be gay about it" LMFAO!

  • There will soon be a self-sex tape to surface from the good ol' Pastor!

  • 'Homosexuality activity'...'homosexuality activity'?... I'm pretty sure the phrase would be *homosexual activity* if that's in the book, if this 'e-book' was actually published in some way, the people who did that, should lose their jobs. The book sounds offensive enough on it's own, and even without that, it has all the prose and wit of a newborn baby. BTW, did anyone see Paranormality Activity 3, was it scary?