Re: Understanding and Explaining Black Women PART FOUR

[illl7775able]

Yes women have been though a lot in life, mentally, physically, emotionally and even spiritually. This is a woman's prospective, men need to alteast try to understand and have just a little compassion towards what the black woman have been through. I cant say this enough, black men need to play their role in life and in the relationship. I dont believe the black man knows "Who He Is," the black woman will submit when he knows himself. The Black Man is God in the flesh. Bottom line. Peace!!!

[bearr7]

ALL LOVE MY QUEEN

[Looneveli]

honestly male or female, we both contribute somewhat to the downfall on the other gender, as well as our own, i used to be the perfect guy, loving, caring, listening, and faithful.... all i been with was unworthy females, now im on the "dark side" as most females would call it, but so far, every female i dealt wit felt it was ok to be either a bitch or unfaithful and break my heart, but i gotta always do the right thing

[2pacndr]

Women use men for sex as well. It seems that women like to act like their being preyed upon or used for sex by men, but the fact of the matter is, like junebugobama eluded to, most of these women are promiscuous, cheaters and dysfunctional. I believe he said this to protect MENS FEELINGS and help them put their priorities in perspective.

[WildL23]

I do agree that some guys are villains and go way to far with it. But it is not always with such bad intentions.

[foxye3diva3]

Thanks so much for stopping by and for your comments

[WildL23]

Also women do it also. Married women do it also. They have sex with men, some of whom have been abused, but they won't marry the man. They like the motion of the ocean, but they won't marry the guy. It's no different. So we can't just always come to a foregone conclusion to just vilify this behavior.

[WildL23]

I don't think you can call it a cycle. A cycle is when the same thing keeps happening. Once you get grown you never get child abused again. The cycle of child abuse is over. New adult cycles begin. So men can't stop the cycle of child abuse in a woman's life because that is history. I man can not have sex until marriage but it really doesn't go back in the future and prevent that other cycle. I don't think we can equate having sex with consenting adults to any continuation of child abuse.

[foxye3diva3]

Thank you for your comment. If I said that, forgive me as it's not what I meant. I'm referring to abuse period. If I'm abused as an adult of course I can't call it child abuse. You're right sex between consenting adults is not child abuse

[WildL23]

No need to apologize, I'm not perfect either. I did not mean it like you strickly meant that, by the way.

[foxye3diva3]

No prob. Thanks for clarifying.

[tanayalexis1]

What you are saying is true too. Everyone must take responsibility for ones own actions. I knew what it means to allow a man to use me. I also know what it means to be lied to and to be preyed on because of my weaknesses. There is a difference. There is nothing wrong with getting you freak on either.That can go both ways. Some men don't understand when its just about sex either. I've had men blow up my phone and stalk me too. But to intentionally use a girl sexually is wrong.

[foxye3diva3]

I hear you sis. Thanks so much for stopping by. Many blessings on your journey to healing. I'm on it as well. Peace.

[tanayalexis1]

He did take that information to another level by say that a man should just continue to use the women sexually and not even try to love them. I have been raped and molested, I have suffered from many of those issues he named and have worked on them and I am continuing to work on them. I am also a very loving, kind, intelligent black woman.I love bm. When I was young and met men that took advantage of the fact that I was damaged it just made my trust for them die. Its like being raped over again.

[foxye3diva3]

I hear you sis. I hope my question did not come across as an attempt to call Junebug Obama out on what he said. I truly want to understand where brothers' heads are when they use so called damaged women for carnal pleasure only. I'm not saying that it's a man's job to fix a woman either. I think that it goes both ways. The woman must not allow men to use her body and the man must leave the damaged woman alone, period..well it depends on how damaged. I agree if she's not marriage material and

[foxye3diva3]

there's an understanding between two sane mature adults then there's nothing wrong with a stricly carnal relationship. Sometimes you just want to get your freak on. But brother's certainly don't want to bed a woman that can potentially be put over the edge. Can we say "Fatal Attraction"

[robzilla06]

I'm a black man, and I'll answer your question about the part that a man plays in breaking that cycle. Its not the mans job to fix a woman. You can't change people unless they want to change. JunebugObama is simply giving guys tips as to what to do to avoid bringing drama into your life being a man. As the saying goes, you can lead a horse to water..well you know the rest. If the woman is damaged, she's going to stay damaged. Not the mans job to fix it, plain and simple.

[foxye3diva3]

Thank you for your honest and straightforward comment.

[ukmusicxxx]

The cycle of disfunction can be broken but it is a long, long process of years if she'll give you that time, a lot of patience, especially if a woman is in denial of her problems.

Feed her information slowly or she'll rebel.

Some Woman 2008 are totally media driven so they will only accept they have an issue if they hear in on TV or in a magazine but it can be done.

[ukmusicxxx]

Plus not only woman have problems theres a lot of over emotional guys out ere 2008

Is it worth all the hassle being with a dysfunctional person?

Sometimes it is if you can see the good behind layers and layers of barriers and mess

[foxye3diva3]

Absolutely. It depends on whether you care enough about that woman to strip peel or even chisle those layers off to get to the good stuff.

[hunn89]

true...HOWEVER when dealing with people & emotions there are no "guarantees" they will come around. In the REAL world you cant "love" a person enough to change them OR for them to make changes unless they want to. In most cases people ARE what they are when you meet them and assume that they are going to BE what they are 4 duration. We can "justify" rationalize, "sistah vs brotha" all day long, at the end of the day it is what it is. Love is where you find it, anything else is ego at work.

[foxye3diva3]

You are so right about that. That's the lowest common denominator. A lot of women watch way too much television and figure that someone being famous gives them license to tell them how to live their lives even if it abandons all common sense. Thank you for your insight brother

[hunn89]

the need to love and be loved is part of our being. Clashes between the sexes especially black on black is a symptom of a bigger issue and that is L-O-V-E MIA.Keep treating it like a science project, a grudge match, or truth or dare it wont get resolved in a way that heals and provides GROWTH. Love is NOT a bad word and can be ellusive as a butterfly in flight. Naked truth time: ALL relationships ANYONE partakes in is on some level a relationship with ones own self, think about it...

[mindset2008]

But I feel that that's not enough to get our girls on the right track. Of course, tell someone if you've been raped or molested. But do we have enough people standing up for them. NO! And that's where we start. Let's stand up for them. Then educate them on the after affect. Never once was I told as a child that promiscuity could be a result of rape and is a sign of an unhealthy view of men and sex. WOW!! Let's guide them while they are young and not wait 'til they're adults and then criticize.

[foxye3diva3]

Yes. The young girls have to be taught so that they can be emotionally and spiritually healthy women.

[mindset2008]

I feel that the responsibility falls on on both sides. The man needs to have enough conscious to either keep his distance or treat her like she's human. If he can't have a relationship where he is not using her for sex, then don't have on at all. And the women need to respect their bodies, life, mind, hearts, and souls enough to learn to not engage in promiscuous behavior when they've been damaged. I think education to our young ladies is key. They alway tell you in school, "Don't be silent"

[Evens1]

Mindset wrote

"The man needs to have enough conscious to either keep his distance or treat her like she's human."

I didn't hear the original statement so I took the statement to mean that the male & female could be "friends".

Getting into a sexual relationship with a damaged female is a dishonorable act!

PROBLEM

Most BFs can (will) have several unresolved "problems". Often, they never tell the guy of these issues. Sometimes, they don't even know they have them!

EV

[foxye3diva3]

"Sometimes they don't know they have them." Very true. Often they are never aware and either friends male and female try to point them out and they do not listen. Ultimately if the damaged woman wants healing she has to seek it for herself.

[mindset2008]

That's the sad part about it. Is that women have to be taught as girls that another part of taking care of yourself is to step toward resolving your issues. And some things like rape, you don't just resolve but have to go through a lot of steps to begin to heal from it because it is traumatic. I was raised by a woman who didn't know she had a problem. So my philosophy is "At least I told him/her once". Then I leave it alone if they choose not to receive.

[4wisdomsearch]

rapist don't only rape women they rape men to. this is what cause some men to choose these types of women. they are dysfunctional also. a man who respect gods creation no matter how broken she may be would not take advantage of her he would help her find healing. i no some honorable black men who would help not use the person. good video sista

[foxye3diva3]

Great points my sis. Thanks so much.

[Moknosmusik]

AMEN!!! This is my thought process. Why not help the sistah instead of adding more wounds?

[4wisdomsearch]

you know if people understand that we were created by the creator, we are all his children. and there are laws to live by. the ultimate one is to love everybody. but some choose to take the path of evil. and all of these ologies & ism spin their heads with ideal that keeping them focusing on the symptoms and not the solution. which is love and living by the laws in the bible.

[Moknosmusik]

OMG!!! When I heard that, I thought the same thing. I can't wait to hear from the brother's either.

[foxye3diva3]

Yes sis. I would love the hear the brothers speak on it.