Added: 10 months ago
From: TolstoyKafkaEvsky
Views: 8,905
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  • This is the most entertaining sword related thing ive ever seen. lsd lol.

  • "bleh bleh bleh fuck....I LIKE SHARP THINGS!"

    XD

  • Y the weird costume

  • You're quite the nerd but I dig it.

  • "look at this dirt on there" 27:50 its covered by the bottle >.< facepalm. love you tolstoy!

  • Youre right! Harleys are ghey

  • I'm not sure how many people have told you this but the strait nijato is for hacking while the curved katana is for speed and slashing, and the power is in the right hand while you guide with the left

  • Ever thought about getting a medieval sword?

  • @zanuha

    They're a little more expensive because more steel is required to make them. But yes.

  • I love speaker of the dead

  • dude answer me how long is the blade and how thick

  • @DannyFatSack

    The Blade is 22 3/4 inches long and .28 inches thick.

    Overall length of this sword is 34 and a half inches.

  • Damn that sword is sharp!

  • Samurai had greater obligations toward their master and honor than a simple hired "thugs", otherwise they wouldn't have commited ritual suicide (seppuku) for the sake of honorable death in defeat or following their master. There is at least evidence of ninjutsu martial arts used since medieval Japan, but ninjas or shinobi-no-mono generally didn't have magical powers though some schools claimed to use mysticism, and they were more like hired assassins with skills in various weapons and tools.

  • @ImSofaKingGood Seppuku was done for a number of other reasons and samurai were expected to have a lord whom they swear full loyalty toward like a knight otherwise they were considered ronin who were more like hired blades and looked down upon. I would consider true samurai more like noble knights than mercenaries or thugs.

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  • At my school im known as the sword guy lol

  • "nijas" did exist they had no super powers the ninjato was there sord modeled after the kitana I heard that from a jap but these nijas were able to kick butt good review in all

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  • because your being careful around that table maybe you should see if someone in your family has a sawhorse, they're meant to be sturdy and take some cuts

  • You may wish to check some kendo as your stance is not helping to make the best of the nice instrument you have there...

  • blah blah blah blah, whatever i like sharp things! lol

  • I was playing Mafia 2 and my character was wearing a big ol trench coat and I walk into a store to buy a firearm and the police in the game say "Get down dirt bag" and then immediatly kill me on the spot...I didnt know how realistic that game was to life.

  • He threw a shoe at you while you were holding that huge fucking machete! Does he want u dead???? V dangerous.

  • @nikeeweston

    I know.

  • also women in the US are GOLD DIGGERS even if the rich male is an old,fat, smelly,ugly etc;like tony montana said: in this country first you get the money then you have the power and then you get the women.If you whant a good women there are somewhere else not in this country...maybe 20% of them are in this country.

  • @vatossan

    *SIGH*

  • cut pine apples,its a better feeling.

  • you should do a montage of you cutting shit with the machete

  • i saw a video about ninjas, it said that they were a certain sect of the samori that used unconventanal tactics and weapons and were sneaky.

  • to me, that second blade that you had looks like something used with a shield or an off hand weapon of some sort, the handle looks like a one hand weapon to me. im no expert that is just my opinion.

  • @whatsit50

    Yeah, it probably is a one handed weapon, but it's my principle to use two hands on women and swords alike.

  • I had to study Japan for a while so I know a bit about the "ninja" debate. Supposedly they were just men for hire who knew martial arts, were usually assassins, and traveled by night. The ancient diamyo of Japan would hire them to send messages through enemy lines and to kill high value targets quietly. That's about all I know though and I don't study this shit 24/7 I just had a unit in social studies where I studied ancient Japan

  • the pin is actuly to hold the tang still an the suba being like that wasnt real practical

  • umm not being a trole bc this was something that not many blade cloecters kno but the straight bladed ninja sword was bron from a movie prop in all reality theres nothing practical about it rly i kno u dont care bout such things so disregaurd if u want to but i just wanted to say but for the most part the straight bladed ninja sword is rly nothing more then a fantasy sword

  • Ninjas are blown out of preportion. They were farmers who got pissed off by the oppressive samuri, would dress in tight black fabric, and assassinate them at night. They used farming tools creativly tho...

  • Coca-Cola gets rid of rust pretty well.

  • -Throws shoe-

  • I'm the only one who thinks like this among my peers and id really like to talk to people who feel the same about it as I do, we should PM Tolstoy,

  • SUBHUMANS! I hate people like that, like wiggers loud intolerable subhumans...

    I was walking down the street just the other day and they're were these wiggers standing outside a store yelling about I have no clue what cause there subhuman rabble was indistinguishable as a language. Ran by me and pushed me into the street where cars were driving cause they were running away from the store cause they stole stuff... Another good point, women only find muscle "attractive" yet when they procreate

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  • Is that how you water your grass? ...GOOD IDEA!

  • are we evar going to see your brother

  • Your brother is my hero

  • @rpm1080

    Dude, honestly, that makes you a loser among the low.

  • i bet the idiots that said you swing like a pussy haven even swang a damn sord before. TOLSTOY FOREVER!!

  • whats with the spitting during the sword demo?

  • @goldenarm009

    Again, force of habit.

  • Fuck curves, i have to stab things!

  • go to compton and clean up the streets!

  • The camera was awesomed by your boots. XD

  • All 12,000 something of your subscribers would enjoy a nasty rant about jersey shore/durp-dom.

  • I love knights of the old republic

  • 40 min lol

  • If the table was higher the swinging wouldn't have been so akward XD

    Great review though

  • The second sword is great, the blade looks like that of a giant Buck 120 hunting knife.

  • @NZMorgs

    I know, right. I think I'm going to call it the "boogieman knife" after an item from Silent Hill Homecoming.

  • my dad is such a dickhead. he said that you have no ability to use swords, because you STUDY about them. god, i freaking hate american culture. anyway, he was just being a jackass because you're a nerd. i say nerd with the utmost respect, as i am an otaku. but not a weaboo. never a weaboo. basically, my dad is just a jackass who can't accept the concept that there are other cultures outside of his. keep up the good work, i love it when my dad gets mad because i outsmart him.

  • Just be happy you were sold for "human sex", I shudder to think what the alternative would be. I like swords.

  • @scscanlan

    Prawns.

  • Waste of good water I tell ya.

  • I felt like I was watching a David Lynch movie during that intro. Weird.

  • i'm starting to miss the sideburns

  • @pezmaster01

    Eh, I can take em' or leave em' actually.

  • i hope you dont have neighbors... well i kinda do, but yeah...

  • I wish I had enough to buy all that stuff

  • Lol suspenders with a belt

  • @Cautionitscoolcat

    No, I'm a wizard.

  • Tolstoy's Attire does not match well with his sword cutting XD

  • at 20:00 i almost fell out of my seat when you went to hit the milk jug and it fell and you shook ur head

  • "i need to get out of this country"

    move to Melbourne, Australia. The most un-derp city in western society, only problem is everything is way too fucking expensive

  • @weirdlittlekid

    Australia won't let me take my guns there. Plus, they don't want me there, it's not like I can just migrate there for no reason.

  • @TolstoyKafkaEvsky

    if you want to keep your guns, your options are pretty limited and as for immigration, yeah Australia is pretty fucked up with that. Maybe London?

  • @weirdlittlekid

    Can't have guns in London either.

  • @TolstoyKafkaEvsky

    your only real option is switzeland unfortunately

  • @weirdlittlekid

    They won't have me. Getting Swiss citizenship is a BITCH, and even if I could, how would I afford to live there?

  • @weirdlittlekid You guys aren't even allowed to have the new Mortal Kombat are you?

  • @scscanlan

    now? no but EVERYONE agrees the system is broken, even the conservative politions and in a few mounths the rating board for videogames will (a) get a complete overhaul, incorporating in r18 most likely or (b) get an r18 rating. The only reason we dont have one now is government bureaucracy, and even then only 12 games have even been banned

  • @weirdlittlekid Yep, don't care about that, your country has its derp as well. You defend them well though. : )

  • when we had to play sports in school. me and my friends just went away from the field and played yugioh. i cant even count how many times asshole derp faggots came over to us and stepped on our cars and threw them everywhere.

  • Funny how you mentioned about the baseball been thrown at someones head. I did the oposite and ran into a baseball bat and was sent home XD

  • bad fucking ass tolstoy.

  • compared to you that machete knife looks huge

  • Your actually right. Samuri were the soldiers of tax collectors in Japan. The tax collectors were called Deido or somethihg like that. So in a sense, they were highered thugs

  • you're supposed to wear suspenders OR a belt. not both. it looks stupid.

    >but hurrr i'm am individual and a unique snowflake I can do what I want

    it looks stupid. stop it, you faggot.

  • @Creamy360

    Some random troll over the net tells me how to live. The only way I could be lower than him is if I actually followed his instructions. Fuck off, derp.

  • @TolstoyKafkaEvsky not trolling, trying to help you out. you don't have to take my advice if you don't want to; your loss.

  • @Creamy360

    No that's trolling.

  • @Creamy360 Hey there, Mr.Derp!

  • 7:04 jets over everything

    

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  • are you dipping or something...why do you spit so much?

  • @VTnumb

    obsessive compulsion.

  • Don't put the camera so close. It does not have a macro on video so after 10 inches it starts getting really blurry. Keep it back or use a magnifying glass in front of the camera.

  • maybe for the noodles you could use a broom stick and have it like half in the ground

  • @27SHB

    Well, believe it or not I WAS saving to go to Japan... and I was PISSED the morning I found out this earthquake shit happened.

  • tolstoy, u seem to be refenrencing ur past alot. Make a vid about that if u think it would eb interesting and wouldnt mind sharing with ur fans

  • The charm is a Vajra, it was a weapon wielded by the gods in Hinduism. It is often thought of to be a metaphor for the lightening bolt.

  • @aaronhanak

    NIIIIICE!

  • @TolstoyKafkaEvsky Yes, quite nice. Also when did you record this, because it was quite nice in DE all weekend.

  • you do the best nerd voice ever. you sound almost exactly like the nerd from robot chicken

  • EPIC VOICE ACTING!!!!

  • now I'd like to say, I learned this at my local SCA group, if you want to see if your sword is proper length for you, I believe they told me you go by putting your hand at the cross guard and measure cross guard to tip and that's how you tell if it's long enough for you

  • Your reviews are getting longer and longer... I like that.

  • You just compared a Sword to a baby... Just like a redneck would do it wit ha gun xD

  • jus gotta say watchin this is WAY more entertaining then watching tv

  • will we ever see your brother(sand monkey) fetured on the tolstoy anti derp revolution video

  • @blanbproductionshd

    Probably not. As it stands, I'm just not talking to him. And even if I was, he's so anti-social there's no way he'd appear on camera.

  • Anyone noticed there's no 38:20?

  • i wanna see your HUNTAH figure in more intros

  • @1zv

    Will do.

  • That sword is so awesome !

  • damn Tolstoy you swing like a bad ass!!!

  • /watch?v=61JwiSzwebI this is a response to a video i watched (i couldny find the video) but it explains pretty much what ninja's are and that there is no such thing as ninjitsu....(watch this video aswell as gregs aka chosun ninja)

  • ninja's were farmers who where brave enough to stand up to the samurai but i'm not saying that i know all the details i am just trying to help you with your plans to finally destroy the durp and take over the world. oh and when you do can i be your side kick or something more bad ass

  • BEST FREAKING EASTER EVA!!!

  • 18:58 so cool double kill

  • TKE have you still got ps3 if yes whats your ID i added T-K-E and i have been waiting for you to add me and i gave up

  • I hope it's made from stainless steel because otherwise it will corode.

  • I don't think you should use toilet paper for oiling your blades. A piece of cloth won't absorb as much of the oil.

  • @tolstoykafkaevsky:how much did that sword cost? Epic review as allways! XD

  • @ARGUSx01

    150 USD.

  • Man you are ready for WWZ

  • Ninja use the sword as a ladder by graping the rope, jump step on the hand guard. Then jump on the roof. Pull the rope to retrieve the sword.

    I seen on Discovery channel I think. May be you should try it : )

  • I think by the laws of physics the reason katans were curved was to prevent wind resistance or at least to make it go through solid objects smoother. The reason i say that is because like the saber it can be slid across an object as you push. Im not positive of this however in my time of swordsmanship ive found that katanas are more made to stop when they hit an object then cut as it slides along. Personally i like a heavy long sword like a claymore where power compensates for speed.

  • at 1:11 wasnt that suezo from monster rancher

  • @ninjakid164

    Bingo.

  • I agree with you so much, people criticize me for my interest in swords. But you know fuck them, it's my hobby.

  • have you gone to college, Tolstoy?

  • @TolstoyKafkaEvsky any desire to?

  • @toadsworthshortstop

    Not really. These days college is just "Highschool Part 2"

  • @toadsworthshortstop HE DONT NEED NO COLLEGE HE GOT HIM A LITTLE BIG PLANET MACHINE DISK PLAYER!

  • @Franseece

    ....what?

  • What an amazing imagination you have

  • Hi Tolstoy (:

  • you shou;d review a lawn mower , its like an automatic sword

  • What country do you want to live in?

  • Hey Tolstoy? Why are you so awesome? What's your secret?

  • Wow...somebody actually disliked this? They must suffer from Micropenis.

  • @UWANTMYPP

    Must be.

  • @TolstoyKafkaEvsky

    If you haven't actually seen the condition, wiki it..its worth a laugh.

  • @UWANTMYPP they will thumbs it up sooner or later cause theres surgery for micropenis

  • i have 3 brothers and most of them are assholes

  • Tolstoy, I've always wondered, why are you always dress up in these awesome outfits?! Surly it can't be just for us.

  • @M3iscool

    Because I like to.

  • dude you need to get a carbon fiber katana

  • CHOP THAT MOTHAFUCKIN TABLE IN HALF! LOL

  • omg earlier like 8 minutes ago i was the 3 comment now its all blown up

  • ninja's were farmers who revolted they do exist and they wouldnt have a certain type of sswrod they would take the sword of a samurai they killed or they would have a blacksmith make a shity version of samurai's sword

  • Got any coldsteel or smith&weston knifes?

  • Normally, I would recommended that you read the 'Book of Five Rings' for sword technique. But seeing as this isn't a Katana I doubt that it still applies.

  • @Demonpop2

    I think it might. Believe it or not I was thinking the same thing, although I just wanted to read the book in order to be more culture. I'm so fucking pretentious, I know.

  • @TolstoyKafkaEvsky Haha. I read it mostly for sword form. As my friends and I were big into sword sparring at that time. I actually happen to have a copy of "The Water Scroll", The section of Five Rings that focuses on sword forms, that I would be willing to part with if you want it.

  • @Demonpop2

    That's cool, I'll probably just buy the whole damn thing off the net.

  • @TolstoyKafkaEvsky Ah, If you're going to buy it I have to recommend The Complete Illustrated Collection of The Art of War. It contains the The Art of War, The Book of Five Rings, The Sword and the Mind, and Several other translated Japanese works. It's a good read.

  • @Demonpop2

    Great, accept the Art of War is Chinese. Tsun Tsu or however you spell it.

  • @TolstoyKafkaEvsky Yeah, Sun Tzu. I'm aware that he was Chinese. Although after re-reading my previous statement, I see where my mistake was.

  • your the only video maker that i can sit and watch a review for 30mins and enjoy it. thankyou tolstoy

  • Now, all you have to do is chop that table in half. that would be epic.

  • Those Sack boys are kind of like your Dough boys. You'll be torturing people in your basement in no time.

  • @MichaelMcCormack89

    Fuck, I hope not.

  • tolstoy .. i once ate a machete ... any questions comments or concerns?

  • 19:54 xD you are the coolest, Tolstoy.

  • I used to love Lacrosse. Too bad the school team are all derp as fuck "lax bros" who only care about getting new gear.

  • You know that the Baltimore Ravens named that because of The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe, right? I got into knife "collecting" (I have 2), A Gerber 450 E-Z-Out knife, and a Camillus survival knife. I got some PSP games, I got them because I heard you talk about them and thought they were interesting, Tokobot and Dead Head Fred, I also got Jak and Daxter: The Lost Frontier. I was playing Dead Head Fred and I thought his voice was familiar. I looked it up, and it's John C. McGinley. He was Dr. Cox.

  • @wariofan14

    Completely random comment, is completely random.

  • dude you should be in a action movie, you could be the hero and you jst kill goons with guns sword and knives, thad be so bad ass id pay 15 dollars to see that that would be so cool.

  • @batmanlunatic51

    Well if I have my way, you could see it for free, but the effects are going to be really crappy, and totally unsafe.

  • @TolstoyKafkaEvsky well ill settle forany thing it just has to have you sliceing and stabbing people

  • i own a Valkyrie its my bike gets me from a to b

  • @bolow235

    I thought you meant--like--a VF-01 Valkyrie :B

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