Machete movie review

[krieg213]

Machete: the mexikan jason vorhees

[xdeadxskullzx115]

you forgot to mention don johnson A.K.A. sonny crockett as a villain

[ferrisbroderick]

that is because he did.

[qwuezalothus]

I don't drink.

[AKIDPRODUCTION09]

16 People are White Supremacist

[v4lkyr]

the splatter stuff was so funny but... that's unfortunately not enough

[aperson30]

its weird cuz the same actor is in spy kids whos name is machete....

[petplatypus]

@aperson30 its the same character

[08Cheeseits]

So it's a spy kids spin off?

[bryangutierrez5]

@08Cheeseits wha- what!? no of course not!!!!!

[petplatypus]

@bryangutierrez5 actually it kind of is same people made Spy Kids and its the same machete

[bryangutierrez5]

@petplatypus 1. just because the same guy made both these movies does not mean they are in the same universe!

2. no they are not the same machete! if they are the same machete then there would have been alot more blood shed in spy kids! yes they re played by the same actor, but the director was not inspired to make machete from spy kids, he was inspired to make it from the character in his other movie desgerado, played by the same actor

[mrez1991]

fuck steven segal he fucks this movie up always trying to act asian he even has an asian chick in this movie its suppose to be about mexican he even carries a samurai sword and such a bad ass that no one can kill him so he has to kill himself at the end garbage

[nightslade1]

I feel asleep on this movie. XD

[MisterWordman]

Dude you have a nice hair flow going on.

[12fuzzyrats]

two of the actors from this film were in the first spy kids movie. bet you can't guess wich ones. :D

[pinkeyepork]

@12fuzzyrats Cheech Marin and The guy who plays Machette

[w028856]

@pinkeyepork in spy kids his name is machette.

[17thSHIT]

Review Hot Fuzz.

[TheSteampunkkid00079]

hobo with a shotgun, hobo with a shotgun, hobo with a shotgun, hobo with a shotgun, hobo with a shotgun, hobo with a shotgun, hobo with a shotgun, hobo with a shotgun please

[thejoachimk]

@revolverman!!

Yes! Hobo+Shotgun+Review+Jeremy Jahns= Awesometacularness.

[stealthyspider]

I thought it was crapy.

[ferrisbroderick]

danny trejo has

[SuperNoobforlife]

splice now its aparty

[TheTotino01]

i fuckin luv his tatoo

[TheRealEzzy]

Cheesy ( as a grindhouse should be ) but it was totally satisfying

[SavvySkeletor]

For some reason I laughed a lot more watching this review than all your other reviews. You are hilarious!

[CODRULZZZ]

Yeah now it's a party!

[ineedya123]

always wear your hair long Jeremy.. very sexy lol

[revolverroman]

Please, Jeremy, I'm begging you.. review the Hobo With A Shotgun movie.. or Planet Terror & Death Proof. i love you by the way. *no-homo* wait... *homo* wait.. no nevermind im pretty sure i like vagina. but youre freakin awesome. Hobo. Shotgun. Review

[TVFREAK1994]

@revolverroman Yes he definately should XD it is just basically awesome... Why not do both?

[XachXan]

....Wait so linsey lohan played herself in the movie?

[Manas10101]

1:17 - 1:24 = LMAO

[choklatgoddess88]

I love you JJ, date me OR ELSE! Nah, I'm just fucking with you. But a date would be nice ; )

[xThePCGamerx]

I love grindhouse stuff and this movie looks sick, I looked up the plot on the Wikipedia article to see if the Machete guy dies (I don't think plot is very important in this movie) and I read the plot and it sounds incredibly racist lol all of the bad guys are white. I don't give a shit at all it looks awesome but it will probably offend some Neo-Nazis.

[iDevHD]

I love the bit where he goes "Ma-shae-taeeee" 

[expIorer5148]

Machete was so badass. It was actually almost too badass for non-badass people to be able to watch.

[jaykubbe]

Lindsey lohan, what range!! Priceless lol

[Phirelord77]

I don't get this movie at all, it's the most over rated movie I've ever seen.

[spudgun3000]

i want 'yearrhhh now its a party' as my text tone please. make it happen jeremy!

[killerkombat428]

this moie is amazing

[scottieman2]

I love the classy Lindsey Loahan picture.

[jaretrising]

lol the lindsey loahan part funny shit

[TheLU83]

THIS MOVIE IS AWESOME, JUST BOUGHT IT ON BLU RAY YESTERDAY!!!!!! IF U LIKE MOVIES LIKE PLANET TERROR OR DEATH PROOF, YOU'LL LOVE THIS!!!

[thewhitebrazilian]

Machete is only good for latinos lol

[xRagma]

@thewhitebrazilian yeah..i can see a lot of american being sour pussies over the theme of the movie

[TheGeneLightShow]

machete

[aznazm]

11people are gunna get diced up by machete himself

[adel93d]

never heard of this movie

[MovieReviezChannel]

I get why people like it but rly people it is quite terrible.

[GingaRaider]

wow danny trejo does kinda look like marmaduke lol

[HeyImJared]

Piranha's a little better

[highlander723]

1:20 Like to see him try. I hated it! Could not stand it i got my money back!

[Nkemmy]

JESSICA ALBA MUST HAVE BORROWED A JOINT OR A DRINK FROM LINDSEY LOHAN BEFORE SHOOTING A SCENE WITH MACHETE haha

[TatyWaldorf]

poor lindsay... is she over? for good? forever? done? screwed? no more acting for lindsay lohan? whateve, but the pic you put of her rocked i lmfao!

[themillfloss]

Lmao!! I love the part about Linsay Lohan

[lifehigh655]

There is nothing to be taken seriously about this film just like as if you watch a 70's exploitation film

[Geoxile]

Moral of the story, Mexicans are more dangerous than piranhas? wot

[xAce9009x]

Those are the guys in Spy Kids lol. Weird how actors follow each other around like that

[SpyengoEen]

You know, there were actually 3 LOST actors in this movie. Frank Lapidus, Michelle Rodriguez and Cheech Marin (who played Hurley's dad).

[BlackIce3190]

@SpyengoEen Its kinda like Firefly. If you get one of the actors from that show, you get at least one or two more of 'em. And they're good actors.

[Bulletguy97]

Yeah, danny trejo getting jessica alba is big bs.

[markolipovec]

I hated Machete, I thought that it was random bull shit.And in the moment when I saw Lindsay Lohan in it, and on top of that she was acting like a wannabe hot hoe my expectations for the movie went from poor to 0.The same goes to all the other flat chested skeletor hoes in that movie.As for Danny Trejo, he looked like a old sack of shit to me.

[Nkemmy]

@markolipovec lol

[RikuZegram]

After so many movies with that same rating "Now it's a party", you'd think it would get old.

But it doesn't. I laugh every time.

[ShadowCrowX]

LOL "what raaaange she has"

[GenoSkill]

baddest ass looking hombre lol

[xXUnholyConfessionx]

8 people have been sliced up by Machete

[videotitan1]

What about the review of the movie? You talked about the actors, what about the fucking MOVIE REVIEW?

[Jammed9000]

I thought Danny Trejo HAS actually ended lives. I thought he went to jail and everything!

[andresruval]

@Jammed9000 he was in jail but i dont know why. he really looks badass in real life lol

[ironomega]

mjade the mistake of listening to my friends and went to see the resident evil shitpile instead of this one and now it's no longer in theaters FML.

[laiban]

@JAROHEW35 lmao xDD dude... that was jessica biel... xDD

[Phirelord77]

This is the first movie I disagree with you on. This movie fails big time.

[RatherIntriguing]

OH, YUh, NoW Itsz..A ParTy

[K1asH3r]

..now its a party

[ieatmonkeys501]

that one disliker is dead...

[nice315]

Jeremy, YOU ROCK!!!!!!!!

[Califacheck]

If you stare at a mirror wile the lights are off and say Machete is a shitty movie 3 times, Machete will come out of the mirror and chop your head off and take it with him!

[uchihatheitachi]

1 person who desliked this video got killed by Machete.

[darkangel21pr]

loved it. segal kept saying puneta wich was kinda annoying yet funny at the same time haha xD

[jadeLoTuZ]

Best honest review till thist point :)

Keep up the good work.

[uchihatheitachi]

LOL Denny Trejo jumping out of Screen.

[uchihatheitachi]

Machete was a great movie but i agree with you the ending was Retarded i mean Jessica Alba and Danny Trejo? WTF? Ending was stupid even thought the movie was Awesome.

[johnsb14]

he did Dany Trejo was a criminal who testified and got a get out of jail free card

[XXNeMo818XX]

The movie could have done without Lohan.

[killthezombiesasshol]

OMG that lindsey lohan comment was hilarious. Im definately gonna see this movie because its JeremyJahns approved. And yes there will be alcohol.

[VampireGuardian14]

i thought it was pretty good accept for that segal is fat as fuck now

[KonChul]

@VampireGuardian14 And that made one hate this bastard even more in the movie ;)

[AFinleyProductions]

oh those were scratches were on purpose i thought it needed to focus

[Lyriicistique]

want to see

[BklynBryan]

LOL Machete LOST to George Clooney!!! HAHA How do you lose to that fag? The American made more money than Machete! Machete's budget was $25 MIL and it only made $11,300,000 !!! They will be lucky if they break even! Machete was a STINKER!!! Expendables made $35 Mil in its first week!!!

[sonicxred]

@BklynBryan OK SO

[KayWildcat]

@BklynBryan 35 million is also quite pathetic for this summer.

[BklynBryan]

@KayWildcat $35 Million in Expendables first week. Total money that The Expendables made so far is $92,187,903. So STFU. It will easily make over $100 Million at theaters. Add DVD and BD sales to that and it's big money. Machete will NOT make over $100 Mil even with home video sales.

[KayWildcat]

@BklynBryan Yep, & the budget for The Expendables is about 82 million. The production house gets half the overall gross, and by the end they won't make THAT much extra money. It reminds me of Salt, it WILL make its money back but even with the big names, not much. Machete will probably do worse at the box office than Grindhouse did.

Either way, The Expendables is one of the weaker films of this summer (so is Machete) & I'm not ONLY talking about it's financial gross, but also the film itself.

[supervillan]

I am going to see this EVEN IF I HAVE TO COME TO THE STATES!

[thestegman100]

remember jeremy..don't drink the worm..for God's sake...don't drink that mofo!

[starchest]

AWESOME

[BklynBryan]

Machete = Birth of a Nation 2010. Machete is propaganda!!! The Nazi's made films like Machete about the Jews. Robert Rodriguez is a RACIST ASSHOLE!!!

[DerangedMenace]

@BklynBryan um? "Jewish" isn't a race, that doesn't make him a racist, it just makes him a guy who might not like jews. So shh with your blind hatred.

[moony9013]

@BklynBryan dude its satire

chill the frik out o.O

[supervillan]

@BklynBryan chill... its a giant brainless wholesome movie by the sound of it

[skrellman]

Oh, THANK GOD, I am so happy... Calling everyone i know right now!

[bloodydragon]

totally not an all tits/violence[pirana 3d COUGH], less plot movie. i hope it was good. ):

[junkr1d3r]

NO ALCHOL ARRREE U SERIOUS

[KoiPondProject]

I LOVED this vid luv!

[YoraiDragon]

LOL @ the linsey lohan part

[morgan111213]

Great review Jeremy, yeah!

[LegendaryA37]

He was a real life criminal who probably did end lives before he started acting

[alphacause]

@JeremyJahns That was a superb review. I am glad you are one of those astute critics who actually knows that you should bring a different set of criteria when assessing different types of movies. I loathe those critics that always bring a highbrow standard to every movie, even ones that are meant to be mindless fun and a violent cathartic release - like Machete. In my opinion Machete is the best over the top action film in years. It is self-deprecating and gratuitous, and it knows it.

[GenoSkill]

@alphacause quality comment

[MrHollick]

GREAT REVIEW! It did have a longish feeling but it was tons of fun!

[joshleemartin]

awsome u rock



[musicpwned]

i almost pissed my pants when i saw that trailer in grindhouse. i was so dissapointed when i heard it was fake. and then i almost pissed my pants again. when i figured out they were actually gonna make it.

[Sinfull702x602]

lmao bad ass mexican bastards! but dude is a bad ass mexican bastard!

[GiftedKidd]

loud joke, whisper joke, loud joke, whisper joke

[LesOursons]

Grow a beard. It will make you look more professional :)

[Vampiibewiicked]

Yeahh, now it's a party xD

[eminalien]

Grindhouse Scratches FTW!

[KnightMD]

The Lindsay Lohan part was HILARIOUS!!

[cookies430]

@bigzzzdog screw takers

[bigzzzdog]

when is that takers review comming?????????

[UnknownXV]

If anyone dislikes this video, Machete will find you, and slice you up. You've been warned.

[Nicolasmovesets]

@UnknownXV I feel sorry for the 11 people...

[lumo1937]

@UnknownXV 13 people have just die...

[lionid]

why the fuck you smash my fucking computer ill get you for this

[kwclass09]

Wait a min...betrayed, left for dead, seeking vengence on others, Its kill bill munus uma thurman.

[elneutro7]

@kwclass09 and with lots of mexicans

[taylor9124]

Yeuh, now it's a party! I laughed so hard at that part.

[DasMakNT]

244 likes, 0 dislikes

you are AWESOME

[Jahooba]

I didn't know how those ratings things you decide to include were going to pan out, but they're pretty awesome, I must say.

[DaltinWentsworth]

Your hair is looking mighty awesome right now.

[Antwon627]

Lol!

[Somnioblivio]

Get a haircut

[ProkoLokor]

@Somnioblivio NO!

[Rtv03]

You took the words outta my head at said them even better at the Lindsey Lohan part. Hahahahaha.

[Rockismylove]

the pics of u always make me laugh :)

[Chikiitaaa88]

lmao at the linsay lohan comment hahha..

ps.. i had a crush on u during the whole 2:45 mins on this video

[frebel93]

May be the best show you ever done. Now it's a party

[jeremalaria]

love the comment about lindsay lohan.

[Raziel078]

great review

[andoc]

Oh God, this made me laugh at the Lindsay Lohan part! My coworkers even stared! Nice review, I'll be checking this movie out.

[RaheemdaplayaO3]

Lol this movie sounds weird, I doubt I'll watch it tbh but good review, the lindsay lohan part made me lol :P

[Mitchell4892]

Hey Jerry, are you going to review Salt? Or have you and I missed it somehow?

[RaheemdaplayaO3]

@Mitchell4892 Ya missed it

[china1man]

@Mitchell4892 youtube.com/watch?v=lgtvw1dNTD­o

lol you missed it heres the link to it he did it a while ago:P

[JackZman533]

@Mitchell4892 yea I would doubt that Jeremy would even respond considering hes not jerry

[Pygmahia5]

lol @ the lindsay lohan part hahahaha. i was just thinking the same thing.

[TheVampireEd]

I love Danny Trejo, he's a bad ass.

I loved Def Jam Vendetta (DO NOT confuse it with that shit ICON game, that was made by EA itself instead of them rehiring AKI to develop it to save money... fuckers...) because of how awesome it is, but the fact that you could also play as Danny Trejo it made it even more bad ass. So if you want to play one of the best fighting games ever and on top of that play as a bad ass like Danny Trejo, pick up Def Jam Fight for New York (PS2/XBox/PSP).

[GonzoInthefoot]

Looks awesome!

[jorgemore90]

lindsay lohan is pretty bad ass haha

[kdotmj]

the blood in this movie is terrible

[Murraythis]

Ha ha, that rating system is one of the single greatest things on youtube XD Can't wait to see this film... oh wait, I live in the UK

*sits and waits for another two and a half months

[Jammed9000]

@Murraythis

Spill.com have an awesome rating system. It goes like this: (From best to worst)

Better Than Sex.

Full Price.

Matinee.

Rental.

Some Ole Bullshit.

FUCK YOU.

[Dja05]

Wait, the movie's european release date is november 3rd....

AW COME ON !!!! Don't tell me they did that Scott Pillgrim bullshit again...

[ConfideDecay]

Such great reviews xD and the rating system is perfect!

[Hobbittio]

Lol Steven Seagal isn't even an actor... he doesn't deserve to be in an awesome movie like this.

[mangaas]

Hah, I'm loving the new rating system!

[Schmidteren]

Jeremy is the man, aweeesome review!

[testorbandwarsaw]

Don't worry about the scraches Jeremy... Chek out the movie about a month later and I'm sure that cinema operators will do their job (I meen the scraches) quite well!

[sucker4life09]

so danny trejo is like the mexican chuck norris! ftw!

[shadowlink95]

Can someone tell me what this movies rated? Like 14-A or R?

[JangoFett07]

Saw a free early screening of it on Wednesday. Audience reaction was really positive. A lady(in a suit) was asking people and writing down people's opinions of the movie as they walked out. I said, "Excellent. Alotta fun."

"Machete don't text." LMAO

[karceno2]

i was blasted and the movie was great!!

[TheCaptainLulz]

Um, Danny Trejo HAS taken lives. Research his pre-movie past.

[ramjet81]

@TheCaptainLulz I don´t know if he had taken lives but he had a troubled past and spent some time in jail

[ShoelacePorn]

0 People disliked this because everyone here has awesome in their blood.

[evoldriver]

I'm not to keen on Lindsay Lohan, which is why I was thinking of NOT seeing this film. However, your review kind of made me curious to see it =) Though I might sink one or two bloody marys to cope with Lohan's appearance...

[awesomeman462]

do they do fake trailers at the beginning of this

[funkypandaX]

YEA NOW ITS A PARTY