The World could use some more Blonde Jokes

[bjjxr8]

a blonde a brunnette and a red head walk into an elevator. the notice a little white puddle in the middle of the floor. the brunnette walkes up to it and say's "it lookes like cum". then the red head gets down on her hands and knees and put her nose right down to it and says "it smells like cum". then the blonde walks up to it and dips her finger in it and suck her finger, and goes! "yep it's cum alright but it not from anyone in this building"!!!!

[greentrrrruck]

Yeah, I gotta an attitude about blondes too. You got your heart broken by a blonde?

[CodenameBFG]

A blond is stuck on a deserted inland 100 miles offshore. the blond says to (insert unplesent place here) with this, then starts swiming for it. at 50 miles the blond gets tired and turns back.

[Sk8terboisgirl]

A Blonde walks into a hotel. She runs out screaming "I'm not staying in that dump!"

Another Blonde walks into the hotel . She runs out screaming "I'm not staying in that dump!" Another Blonde walks into the hotel . She runs out screaming "I'm not staying in that dump!" Another Blonde walks into the hotel . She runs out screaming "I'm not staying in that dump!" etc. etc. Two boys are watching this process. One Boy turns to the other and says "When do you think they'll figure out it's a toilet?"

[Sk8terboisgirl]

Two blondes live side by side. A Tree is growing right on the boundary line. One day the wind blows all the peanuts off the tree onto Blonde 1's side. Blonde two thinks she is intitled to a share and a huge argument breaks out. A brunette walks past and says "Why are you two fightening. Angrily, The Blondes explain the problem to her. "So don't you think I am intitled to a share!!!" yells Blonde 2. The Brunette looks at her and says "No. Peanuts don't grow on trees."

[blackrosepetals1234]

wow,this dude is really freaky,is it just me? p.s no offense.

[irokk42]

ummmmmm...... ok heres a good one:

three blondes are argueing over a set of tracks. the first one says " i bet those are deer tracks." the next one says "no stupid they are obviously bird tracks." and the third one says "My dogs tracks have never looked like that they must be cat tracks." While they start to follow te tracks leading into a small road, a train hits them. lolololololololz!

[hilaryduffStrangeR12]

lol i already have one, like red heads are soooo geeky, and they will be geeky forever with their nerdy red neck red head

[hilaryduffStrangeR12]

omg, wtf is with ppls these days?!! im tired of blonde jokes!! maybe in the future, us blondes shud make up some red and brunette jokes

[SoloVampire]

a blonde walked in a store and wants to get a microwave, she talked to the owner and the owner said "sorry i dun sell to blonde", so the blonde dress up as a chinese and ask again, the owner gave the same answer "not selling to blonde", after a few more trieds, the blonde gave up and asked "how did u know i m blonde?" , owner said "coz thats a frige, not a microwave"

[SoloVampire]

a blonde walked in a store and wants to get a microwave, she talked to the owner and the owner said "sorry i dun sell to blonde", so the blonde dress up as a chinese and ask again, the owner gave the same answer "not selling to blonde", after a few more trieds, the blonde gave up and asked "how did u know i m blonde?" , owner said "coz thats a frige, not a microwave"

[josienapalm]

a brunette and a blonde were walking to work. The brunette says to the blonde, "watch out for the dead bird." The blonde looks up and says "where?"

[hilaryduffStrangeR12]

considering that u did the same thng?!!

[QddpprrQ]

um.. r u drunk? aaanyways.. here's my joke

a blonde, a brunette and a red head are stranded on an island. civilization is 10 miles across the water. finally after many days on the island the brunette says "i cant take this anymore!" jumps in the water, swims 3 miles and drowns. a few days later the red head says the same, jumps in the water, swims 6 miles and drowns. the blonde says "uh.. me too" jumps in the water, swims 9 miles gets tired and swims back.

[talston75]

why do blondes have bruised belly buttons... becuz blonde guys arent that smart either

[myCHEMINCALromance]

reply if this is good

a red head comes in to a haspital and is in a lot of pain

she says doctor everywher i touch hurts

the blonde touches ramdome parts of her body and says ow each time

the doctor says ur not really a red head r u

she says no

the doc says good cuz ur finger is broken

[weezie63]

thats funny ..im gonna be tellin that at work tomorrow

[myCHEMINCALromance]

thanks

[fav0lyfe]

there were 3 girls,blonde and they got to make 1 wish each the black haired one said "i wish i had a million dollars" and her wish was granted the burnette said "i wish i coudl meet USHER" so her wish was granted and the blonde said "i am no sure let me think bout it" so she goes to her car and her favorite song comes on "i wish i was an oscar myer weiner" and her wish was granted

[fav0lyfe]

a blonde a brunette and a ginger were gettin chased by the police! they ran into a barn and jumped in a sack. the policeman walks in and looks around and then see's the sack he kiks the first one woof woof said the brunette so then policeman sed oh its jus a dog.He kiked the second sack miow said the gignger so the policeman sed oh it jus a cat!

He kiked the last sack and the blonde goes potatoes!!

[fav0lyfe]

a blond was sat in a doctors waiting room crying her eyes out. a man walked over and said "whats the matter darlin" she replied, "its my..my mum...she died" so he sat there comforting her telling her she was in a better place. then the blondes mobile rang she answered it, "what oh mu gosh not you too, ohh thats terrible im so sorry" she put the phone down and burst in to tears again and the man said, "who was that?" she replied, "it was my sister...her mum died too"

[fav0lyfe]

a blonde and her bf r sitting in the car late at night. he starts to kiss her.then he takes off his shirt...then he takes off hers (still kissing) felling lucky he asks "wana get in the backseat" no she replies ..he takes off her bra felling lucky this time he asks again..still the anserw is no...he asks y she keeps saying no...she says "b/c i wana stay up here with u dah!"

[fav0lyfe]

a bernett and a blonde jump off a building...who hits the ground first........the bernett dose (y?) b/c the blonde had to stop and ask for directions!!

[fatboidlux]

why can't blonde's pass a drivers test.

because they can't reach the pedal's from the back seat

[marijamusicmania]

Q..whats the only thing a UFO and a smart blonde have in common?

A..You talk about them but you never see them

[dathip]

Q.. Why is jessica simpson gay?

A.. Because she ran of women.

[TheEvolution23]

i dont get it ....."she ran of women" wtf?

[iseemeinthemirro]

This blonde walks into a hardware store and asks the guy at the cashier,"Can I buy that microwave?" He replies,"No im sorry we don't sell to blondes." So she goes home and dies her hair green.She goes back and asks" Can I buy that microwave?" "No im sorry we don't sell to blondes" So goes home and does the same thing with burnette, red, and blue. The last time she goes in she says "How do you always know who I am?" He replies "Because thats a T.V!!!..............i love that joke!!

[willietx]

Q .. Why do blondes drive BMWs?

A .. Because they can spell it.

[frogmanfunky]

ok so there is a blonde a brunett and a red head stranded on an island the read head starts swimming and drowns the brunett swims to civilization then the blonde swims half way to civization gets tired and swims back

[Benthamite]

why do blondes give better blow jobs? they get too much practice.

[2Luke]

what do you call a blondde with pigtails?

a blowwjob with handles.

[Benthamite]

that is damn funny

[computes41]

i got 1.there is a blonde guy he comes home 2 c his wife naked on the bed sweating and panting.he asks her whats wrong.she says i think i am haveing a heart attack.he goes upstairs 2 call his dad 2 ask what he should do.his son walks up 2 him and says"i just say uncle bob naked in the upstairs closet".he goes upstairs and sure enough uncle bob is naked in the closet.then he yells at him,"U BASTERD,MY WIFE IS HAVEING A HEART ATTACK AND U R RUNNING AROUND MY HOUSE NAKED SCAREING THE KIDS!!!

[SilverDrama]

a brunette is jumping up and down on a railroad track singing "twenty-one-twenty-one, twenty-one" when a Blonde comes up and says "That looks fun can I join you?" the brunette says sure so they're both jumping up and down on the railroad track singing "twenty-one, twenty-one, twenty-one" The Brunette sees a train coming so she jumps off but the Blonde gets hit and dies. The brunette waits for the train to pass gets back on jumps up and down singing, "twenty-two, twenty-two, twenty-two."

[blondiegirl4ever]

Hey SilverDrama i dont get that joke!

[SilverDrama]

umm, it basically is saaying that she is counting how many blondes die

[Twinkilicious21]

this guy is wierd but the jokes here are funny.

[balletbabes]

I have a blonde joke for you:

There was a brunette, redhead, and blonde Barbie in a bathroom, where if you tell a lie, a dragon flies up and slaps you. The brunette says, "I think I'm the prettiest girl in the world." The dragon comes up and slaps her. The redhead says, "I think I'm the smartest girl in the world." The dragon comes up and slaps her. The blonde says, "I think---" The dragon comes up and slaps her, too.

hahahahahahaha

From, 3 friends

[weezie63]

funny stuff from ballet babes lmao

[mememeandjustmeme]

haha i get it

[brittanybbabby7]

So a blonde is bored and she goes to the corner store and buys herself a puzzle. She brings it home, opens it, and poors the pieces all over the table in anger. She couldnt get even ONE pair together so she calls her boyfriend. "Help...I got a puzzle..theres a tiger on the front and I cant figure it out!" So when he gets there he says...I know your problem....its a boxof frosted flakes.

[brittanybbabby7]

Q.Why do blondes have square boobs?

A.Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box

[Steph9494]

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead were stranded on an island that was 14 miles until shore. The red head says "i'm gonna try to swim to land" she swims 3 miles, gets tired, and swims back. The brunette says" i'm gonna try to swim to shore" she swims 5 miles, gets tired, and swims back. The blonde says " i am gonna try to swim to shore" she swims 7 miles gets tired and swims back.

** the blonde could have swam all the way to shore

[blondiegirl4ever]

There were 2 blondes sitting on a bench in Oklahoma and 1 blonde says, " which is farther away, the moon or Florida?" The other blonde says, " Duh Florida is farther away u can't even see Florida. But u can see the moon!"

[clifa003]

this is reli bad

[GR8XKP]

A blonde was walking along the river and spotted another blonde on the other side, she yells across "how do I get to the other side?" The other blonde yells back " You're ON the other side"

[ktjx]

A brunette had just arrived home from work, where she saw her blonde neighbour crying and asked her "Whats the matter?" the blonde said "my mom died yesterday" so the brunette comforted her and invited her over to her house for tea. The next day when the brunette got home the blonde was crying again, "Now whats the matter?" asked the brunette, "I just called my sister. Her mom died yesterday too!"

[Quemosei]

Q.What is the difference between a blonde and a ladder?

A. Not everyone has been up a ladder.

Q.What does a blonde puts behind her ears to look sexy?

A. Her knees

Q. How do you drown a blonde?

A. Just place the mirror at the bottom of the pool

[weezie63]

now that was funny

[viper3636dr]

@Quemosei similar you tell a blond to smell the scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool

[WhiteSwanPrincess]

There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby field. She was in a boat rowing, with no water in sight. The blonde angrily pulled her car over and yelled at the rowing blonde, "What do you think you're doing? It's things like this that give us blondes a bad name. If I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your butt!!"

[weezie63]

lmao

[deaglefrost]

A car was driving down the street when all of a sudden it started swerving. The car was going back and forth till someone with a cell phone called the police. A police officer pulled the car over. A blonde rolls down the window and says, " Officer, I'm so glad you are here. I saw a tree in the road, then I saw another. So I had to swerve to keep from hitting it!" The officer looks at her, then says, "Ma'am, that's your air freshener."

[weezie63]

lmao  that was great

[WhiteSwanPrincess]

No problem.

[ClassicRocker623]

he wasnt talking to u haha!

[WhiteSwanPrincess]

Stupid. I replied to weezie63 when he/she commented on on my joke above! Somehow the reply got under weezie63's other comment

[tatsumaru716]

hah

[iamchas]

LMAO. My wife is blond. But I have bunches of those jokes. Not time now to forward any. More to come....

[brittanybbabby7]

um..you must be blonde to cuz you could not even spell blonde right?!?!?!?!

[ClassicRocker623]

they spell blonde like blond in Britain. Kinda like theater and theatre.

[DeAnnya]

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of cheerios?

... "OMG, Doughnut seeds!"

[weezie63]

now thats funny deannya thaks for the laugh

[weezie63]

why do blondes wear hoop earrings.... thet pull on them to release air from their heads

[weezie63]

now thats funny good one DeAnnya

[DeAnnya]

One day these 3 girls were riding in the back of a truck.

All of a sudden the truck crashed in the water.

About 50 seconds later the brunette came up on land.

One minute later the redhead came up.

The blonde came up about 2 minutes later.

The two other girls asked her what took her so long, and she said, "I couldn't get the tailgate open!"

[DeAnnya]

cool idea! (good joke weezie!)