Inside the mind of Borderline Personality Disorder .wmv

[tippygoncrazy222]

This was perfect...exactly how i feel

[CaseyGabby9]

I absolutely love this video...I'm trying to find a good video to show people who are READY to understand. I had to learn the hard way you can't MAKE anyone understand you if they don't care to or are not ready to.

[AmeerahDot]

I have to say this is one of the best you tube videos on BPD I have seen so far, and the last part was so true dont think any one could hack it in our lives. I would not wish this on my worst enemy. Because its so emotionally hard and draining

But thanks for this video its cleared a lot of things up x

[laflama75]

TRY being a guy!! I wanna hate to prove my importance! BUT upbringing is sooo sooo important...If we all treat our children like they have BPD! what a world it would be!

[Mermiana]

Thank you for this vid. Other vids are so traumatizing to me ( while i have bpd myself)

Thank you again, it's a REALLY good vid.

Evajana

[01ladyjane]

I was recently diagnosed with BPD and for someone who is desperate to understand this illness, this video made me made me realize I am not alone. I loved the quote about cancer and having someone say to u "get over it",Through my years of battling with depression I have heard those very words. I understand I am not weak but ill and those of us who suffer from this mental illness can overcome it through support and hard work! This video touched me and brought me to tears. Thank you!

[Vexxen21]

THANK GOD you put the warning in your video comment.

This broke me up inside. Good vid.

[bbbbbirdzTHAword]

I do go to a DBT group once a week but I still struggle daily with my illness. While I do feel like Im winning more than losing lately, I still have my failures. Tonight I was upset about the tone my bf used, I started an argument and ended up telling him to leave, & threw his stuff outside he got mad at this. I'm 10 weeks pregnant now, but didnt care and went after him, hitting him and pushing him. I disgust myself sometimes. I just have to keep working on it. Normal may come someday

[edward7091]

i cried so bad watching this

[SmileKiddz]

Thank you for the video.

[TheEwa1968]

That Video is exactly what I feel!!! Thank you!

[yourcomb]

i think you said it better than anyone in any video i have seen thus far

[modestmousemodest88]

I'm not quite sure if I have it but they come and go for the past year.

[ForeverMemoriesCards]

i have spent the last 2 days watching bpd videos on youtube...this one really hits home for me. thank you for sharing your story. i am looking into some longterm treatment because this is ruining my life. best of luck. never give up.

[miissmiaa]

Bpd fellows, you should come and talk to us other sufferers on mom (mapofmates).

[ellzedd41]

Love your desription of some of us it is almost spot on for me.I don't cut or self harm and now barely rage.I became introverted instead and now people think I'm a miserable snob.I tried being friendly at work and a few people do know what I have and about two understand somewhat and I'm grateful to them.I feel like I'm not in my skin most of the time and even my doctor won't give me a referral for DBT. I'm very bitter and wish my existence to be gone but not to die.It sucks but never give up.

[xanax189]

very good video! 

[Loveyoualwaysxoxo]

Thank you

[Loveyoualwaysxoxo]

what is the third song?

[515SwimKat]

@Loveyoualwaysxoxo

Sia, Breathe me. :D

[oceanat9]

@Loveyoualwaysxoxo you didn't finish the vid, or you would know....

[Musiclover7733]

Right on the spot! I feel like I'm reading my life. I wish I could tell my parents, I'm scared they'll judge me....IDK where to even begin either, they never take me serious...

[ZeraphinaJ]

It really describes well!

I'm dealing with this everyday.

From the moment I wake up untill I go to sleep.

Everyday is almost the same - At one day I can go from happy till suicidal. Most of the time I feel hollow and empty, everything is hopeless. In one day I can hate and love my family, my friends or my boyfriend - never knowing when. All these paraoind ideas.. And the word "Sorry" - I always say that, even when Im right.

And much more..

It's like a prison.

[heavenspets]

omg...this is like looking in a mirror. You say everything exactly as it is for me. I wouldn't wish this illness on anyone, yet it is comforting to know that someone understands.

[Kyjo34]

My niece had BPD, I never could quiet understand her great need to be loved and needed by a man. Never could understand her risky behaviors. She told me once that at times she felt seperated from her body. Like she was disconnected some how. She said she felt like she just existed. She was so sweet, would do anything for you if you asked her to. She just couldn't love or accept herself. She is now with the Lord because of her risky, self hating habits. I had no idea what she was going throug

[Xenabaiche]

Video was good, but when Britney started playing it totally ruined the mood. I like Britney Spears, Im just saying Mad World was a good song to watch the whole video to.

[515SwimKat]

@Xenabaiche

That was the point. You feel depressed. The music is slow, depressing. Then as BPD is, the mood changes from suicidal, & miserable to where you think you are on top of the word, that you could do anything, thus the Brit song..."all eyes on me in the center of ring just like a circus, don't stand there watching me, show me what you can do..."

[515SwimKat]

@Xenabaiche

The music is quicker, she is in control of herself & others, she is the center of her world. The music is happy & upbeat. THEN again the mood changes, like BPD & U are back to the sad, depressing music.

[Xenabaiche]

@515SwimKat Ohhhhh, I see now! :P

[515SwimKat]

@Xenabaiche

But you are right, Mad World could have been played the whole time. It's a great song. :)

[face2facechick]

You are strong, and every stronger to admitting your emotional disturbance. I hope and pray you find the help you need, and have people supporting you through this.

[mrsjessmccary]

I also have BPD and have watched many videos with the same theme as yours and I must say yours is the best one Ive seen, its exactly how I feel. Im writing a blog about my recovery from this and would like to link to your video. I know you said yes to someone else, but I need to ask for myself. Thank you for making this, for people like us who feel so alone, its good to know we really arent

[515SwimKat]

@mrsjessmccary

You are MORE than welcome to share it. :) I'd be honored. I'd love to know your blog too. Feel free to send me the link. Thanks for all the nice things you said about the video. They mean a lot to me. It is such a comfort to me to know also that others feel what I feel. I know I am not alone either. -Kat

[dorex41]

thank you for making this video ,,,totally is me!! thought I was the only one until yesterday...I am blown away at this and how many other people feel what I feel in this world everyday ...So, I know I am not alone on this ...I thought I was crazy!!! now...I have had the scales lifted from my eyes and see that this is not "JUST ME"...thank you for showing how I feel ....wish others would understand and try to be more sensitive to us who are going through this ...

[515SwimKat]

@dorex41

You are so welcome. I am glad that you see you are not the only one. When you feel like you are it's an awful feeling. As much as it sucks to have BPD, it's is comforting when you know you are not alone. I wish too more would understand it, it would make life a lot easier for all of us. :) -Kat

[LittleBlueStar13]

OMG...its like you've made a video about my life. im SO glad i came across this, feels a little less lonely and empty now that i know that im kinda not alone (although that sounds really sick and retarded - sorry). keep fighting <3

[515SwimKat]

@LittleBlueStar13

It does not sound sick or retarded at all. I totally get what you are saying and glad that you feel less alone. Thanks for the nice comments, and you never quit fighting either. -Kat

[luvmaikids]

I have lived with BPD for 14 years... I've been in counseling for 10 of those years... In one year I was included in a BPD group that did DBT and CBT .... I still suffer with the thoughts but so far have learned to change my thoughts and physical actions.... I suffer more than I let anyone in on but for the sake of my kids still continue to better myself... This Vid is a direct reflection of BPD IMO! Thank You!

[515SwimKat]

@luvmaikids

You are so welcome. I am so glad that you are doing better then what you were 14 yrs ago. It's a process. I too have children and have to try my best some days to not let my BPD effect them. I better myself for them. It makes it easier to try harder when I look at them. I wish you continued success in your journey. -Kat

[jhan6120]

Think NON-BPD's don't suffer?

[515SwimKat]

@jhan6120

I think that non BPD's suffer also.

[TheCHICA81]

I love you for doing this...you were able to capture every detail of how this feels ..

I'll do anything to get rid of it.. Its hurting the people I love Most..They all "LOVE" Me but I dont feel it...I have them around but I always feel lonely..Im dating a guy who claims he loves me but Im afraid he'll leave me one day for someone Normal and prettier.....

[515SwimKat]

@TheCHICA81

I'd do anything to get rid of it too. Just remember that you are NOT your illness and don't let that define you. I too have hurt a lot of the people who cared about me and in turn that has made me lose a lot of friends. People tell me that they love me too, but I never really feel it either, & I too worry that at anytime they will leave me. I think BPD causes us to have a pit of loneliness that we don't feel can ever be filled. Keep fighting though. I wish you the best.

[MsJackoholic1]

Flawless. Best BPD video so far

[515SwimKat]

@MsJackoholic1 Thanks! :)

[mokiepat1]

im alone and it hurts.im the crazey one he says its all in my head,im not sure of anything.the mask goes on,great vid.

[BiteMe000000]

this is an amazing video. it is spot on! hits right at the mark. perfect. this is exactly what BPD feels like.

[515SwimKat]

@BiteMe000000

Thanks for watching and for the kind compliments. :)

[ZeraphinaJ]

Beautiful..

It describes it so good.. I was thinking about showing this to my bf who doesn't understand my illnesses (Not only BPD).

I was thinking a lot while watching this and I realised that it's so hard to describe my feelings so they're melted together now, in some way. Hard to know WHAT a feeling is.. Hard to know when you're happy, sad, empty.. so on.

I've already been suicidal and really happy today, and everything in between. Bpd is a hell - Nothing I would ever give to anyone..

[hellyeahs1]

great video but to fast with the moving posts... but felt it emotionally !!! Well Done...

[515SwimKat]

@hellyeahs1

Thanks for the feedback. If I could do it over again I so would. I would agree with you 100% that is went too fast and at times you can't catch what I was saying. It was my first video, so I know what to do next time.

Thanks again for commenting and watching. :D

[missNedro]

Thank you so much for this video! I have borderline and I am in love with a guy.. <3 And I recognized myself a lot in the first part of the video.. I KNOW I love him but I don't FEEl it, I KNOW he loves me but I don't FEEL it.. Sometimes when I think about him I don't feel a thing.. And then I doubt about the fact that I really love him..

Does somebody have any tips how to deal with this??

[belle69ish]

This video I hope will help my family know what I am going through. I am a single mom of four and am also bipolar, post tramatic stress disorder, border line personality and I feel so lost sometimes. A cousler told me instead of cutting which I can't do because of my children she said wear a rubber band and flick it against my skin so I can get the pain relief but no cut. I hope this helps someone and please beleive that we are going through this for some reason.

[515SwimKat]

@belle69ish I hope that it will help your family understand better too. It is such a difficult thing to deal with when you are the sufferer but also family and loved ones too. I also have PTSD, bipolar, and self injurer. I feel lost a lot of time. Most of my life, but it does get better. All we have to do is hold on. Blessings to you, hope at this time you are doing ok. :D

[belle69ish]

@515SwimKat Thankyou for listening and I wish you well and keep doing videos you are very good at it and very honest it touches people you have a great gift.Continue this journey touching lives like you have done mine. Thankyou again

[515SwimKat]

@belle69ish

Aw, Thanks!! And you are so welcome!!!! :)

[chezchea]

Thank you again ,made me cry when I showed it to my husband. Mainly cause no one wants to understand.

[maybenotmetheone]

I hate myself. Always will.

[woundedPumpkins]

I am a sufferer of BPD and I am asking permission to add your video to my website I have made on Borderline Personality Disorder. I am currently in the stages of making a video myself but this portrays it extremely well so I thank you :)

[515SwimKat]

@woundedPumpkins Please do. I'd be honored. I want people to share this. The more people that see it, I hope will get the word out and people will hopefully be more understanding of the illness. I also hope that for the people that watch it that suffer will know they are not alone and that others feel the same way that they do. If you don't mind my asking, what is your website. I'd be happy to share that on the Facebook page that I run. Good luck on the video.

[loobylouboti]

I really liked this video. Critically, the script/txt was moving REALLY fast in places, lol, bit hard to keep up! : ) But it really did capture what I feel like, completely, and yes, all the time, each and every day..Arrrghhh, SO confusing! Thankyou for the vid, I may even use this sometime, to explain to friends how I feel (if I plucked up the courage, that is! Good work, : )

[515SwimKat]

@loobylouboti You are so right about the fast parts. It was my first video and I learned A LOT! :) Thanks for being honest. I was so worried about people thinking it was too long but I should have just left it, it would have been better! <3 You are so welcome though, glad to have been able to do it. It does take a lot of courage to show someone this. It opens up yourself to being judged and that is a very scary thing. Thanks again.

[leanneh369]

Truly beautiful Kat, to share what it is really like.

[Amzgotlost]

wow, well done and thank you,

You express what BPD is like perfectly. This is one of the best vids I've seen.

xoxo

[SkitterysGirl]

As someone who has struggled with many mental health issues, including BPD for over 12 years now, I can honestly say that this video captures life with BPD almost perfectly.

[515SwimKat]

@SkitterysGirl Sorry you understand the feeling in the video. I don't think that a lot of people understand it at all. They say, well yeah a lot of people feel that way and they don't have a mental illness. They say at times we all feel like this. What they don't get is that for us, it is almost constant and much more severe then most. Pretty frustrating. <3 Thanks for your comment.

[Newme1087]

wow this is EXACTly how i feel :(..

[515SwimKat]

@Newme1087 I'm sorry. I understand. It is so not a feeling that we enjoy. And it really hurts and I am sorry that you have to feel it too. <3

[SIMPLICIDADESEMPRE]

Thanks so much for posting it. I have a BPD in my life! It's hard but I'm always around, no matter I get hurt! Until when? Don't know.

[515SwimKat]

@SIMPLICIDADESEMPRE You are welcome. BPD is a really hard thing to have to deal with that so many people do not understand at all. I am glad you are here. :)

[joolslee08]

Anything that helps to give an insight and increase understanding is a very positive thing ... this is excellent ... very touching and made me cry for the person I love who struggles with these thoughts and feelings everyday

[515SwimKat]

@joolslee08 Thanks for the comment. I hope that somehow I can help other people understand it better. That is my goal and to let other people out their know that they are not alone. It really is a every single day thing, a lot of people don't realize that. It really effects our every thoughts and decisions. Good thing that we can get better and can get help for it. :)

[toolerloot]

@joolslee08 me too

[AllUCanBe1]

This is an amazing video, giving us a brief glimpse into what those with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) live with every single day. May is Mental Health Awareness Month, please take time to educate yourselves and share this video with others so we can raise awareness, help educate and help dispel the stigma surrounding mental illness. Kat this is an absolutely beautiful video! Thank You.

[515SwimKat]

@AllUCanBe1 You are so welcome. Thanks so much for taking the time to like it and comment on it.