Pirates Vs Ninjas, Milk & Owls

[Wimpoman]

My face hurts from laughing!

[MrFreeGman]

Dear Matt,

would you rather be able to piss kool-aid or shit killer bats (they don't kill you)

[rashgoesrawr]

Dear Matt,

I want to turn my right armpit into a human female's genitalia, but I'm worried about what my family will think of me. What do I do?

Your truly,

Brandon.

[ange76prkr]

Dear Matt how do you keep your hair looking so nice? :)

[chasingthebull]

we're learning, and having a good time.... great episode!

[o0ORedshadeO0o]

i didn't know james may was doing another show.

thanks for the help, captain slow

[hilarioushils11]

Dear Matt,

Can you grow a ginger beard?

[classyvixenart]

You rock.. sort my Shit oUT!

[theFLCLguy]

Pirates live with a bunch of guys for months at a time, always drunk because they are total failures, THINK they sleep with hot chicks but in reality its ugly fat chicks(they are always drunk), Attempt to steal other pirates treasures, never bathe, have a lot of diseases, very unintelligent, are gay, jobless, homeless, and the original pirates(not modern day ones) where wiped out by merchants.

Yeah fuck pirates.

[JCMJFCM]

@theFLCLguy At least they're good with knots though!... =/

[JimithLander88]

Girls dressed as Ninjas not hot? Have you ever played a DOA game?

[HameNmk]

Pirate vs Ninja vs Panda vs Zombies e.e

[kriszium]

,,I LIKE MILK ! DO YOU LIKE MILK !?"

WHAT DO YOU MEAN !? I'M DRINKING MILK RIGHT NOW !!!!

[Gnomesaurus]

YOU DON'T KNOW NOTHING ABOUT NINJAS BECAUSE NINJAS ARE INVISIBLE AND YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT THEY HAVE ! NINJAS FUCK YEAH !

[RCCola339]

GO PIRATES!

[flyingbanapple]

Hey Matt, have you ever sorted your shit out?

[pfundingsland]

I'm liking this mostly because I have a thing for owls. This guy is definitely funny, but . . . Owls.

[Sideshowspike]

An anagram for "pirates ninjas" is "Insane Jar Tips" or, for "pirates vs ninjas" you've got "Rapes Vast Jinnis" you know, for those genies who are begging for it. You're welcome.

[Davo3601]

Dirt or mud?

[shermanhatesfun]

Dear Matt, how awesome is awesomeness?

[AvsJoe]

Subscribed!

[TeeeeePeeeee]

"chicks dressed as ninjas, eh" clearly he hasnt seen Kasumi/Ayane from Dead or Alive.

[zeromechdragon700]

@TeeeeePeeeee must likely

[feioo]

I just watched all of your acapella vids, and thought I would try a non-singing one, and all I can say is-

YOU'RE FROM NEW ZEALAND?! WHAT??

[Zalfion]

Dear Matt,

I held on to my shit, now my hands are dirty.

What do I do?

[konvron]

Sounded like the history channel when explaining why owls don't have teeth. lol

[GenTristan]

I'm sorting my shit in my pants.. Think about that for a while.

[Andy97009814]

I watched you're cover of Friday, and I want you to make the music for my funeral. But first I have to get famous, because then you'll say it's an honor and do it for free ^_^

[Andy97009814]

Dear Matt. Metal rules. No objection. Is that ok with you?

[quagmire7]

epic intro

[violadude0987]

You don't have a desire to sneak? What about sneaking into girls bedrooms?

[toaLewanuva]

Dear Matt,

on one of my school trip, i met with with a female ghost and she said she's fallen in love with me. Fortunately after the trip ended she didn't follow me. But two weeks ago she wrote to me that she's coming to my place, so i don't have much time. I'm not into necrophilia, so should i ask if there's one of my friends who's into it, or should i search for a male ghost? I don't want to be haunted as long as i live.

[lindevolean]

Hey matt, Can you please make and edited version of this video so its just the opening, and please post a download link. I want my ring tone to be FFFUUUCCCCKKK YYYEEEAAAHHH!!!!!

[robotpretzel]

Dear Mattey,

I went to this guy and offered a wish for anything he'd like, for a small price, which was his soul. he wished to be stronger than me and proceeded to beat the crap out of me and took his soul back. Now satanists are starting to worship this bastard. What should i do?

Love, Satan

[themach069]

Dear Matt,

First of all, loved the new intro. Secondly, your a badass. Third, how do you think i should go about quitting my shitty job?

[Pfcmitchell1987]

Dear Matt,

Women Preference: Fat or Skinny?

[thuisman2]

Dear matt,

Penis. That is all. Thank you for your time.

[xoninmuoshda]

Dear Matt,

I am extremely hairy. Do you think that's sexy?

[fondalror]

Dear Matt,

If two siamese twins have sex with each other, is it incest or just masturbation?

[TheMcSaf]

@fondalror incesturbation i think.

[NDawgHoyt]

Dear Matt,

I tried to explain to someone the other day how my favorite youtube video was called "Penis Chorale", without sounding gay. Needless to say, I didn't succeed. How do you suggest I go about explaining it?

Sincerely,

NDawgHoyt

[tostrye]

You are a son of a bitch.

[TheHunterH2]

Metal, and Medal. TWO DIFFERENT FUCKING WORDS THAT SOUND THE SAME! EXPLAIN!

[foooooze]

@TheHunterH2

..but they don't sound the same.

At least when pronounced properly.

[DayzieChayne]

Dear Matt

i just instant messaged my dad

man my life is sad.

[davorrulez]

Dear Matt,

Three witches watches three Swatch-watches.

Which witch watch which Swatch-watch?

Yours sincerely

Davor

[blackbelt528]

Dear Matt,

How are you such a cool guy?

[sharingroove]

Dear Matt,

If a train hits a crack head on the tracks, who do you feel sorrier for, the crack head or the 300 passengers who have to wait 5 hours on board?

[LDWcoment]

In your Multi-track videos you seem to have your hand up a monkeys ass . What is his name and why are you sexually assaulting him ?

[RandomEagle123]

Sharks or Dolphins?

[nightseifer]

My shit was in dire need of been sorted. Thank you super man

[vrajeala666]

Dear Matt,

Why is coke so popular?

Sincerely,

[mle011]

3:23 is a new dance move...grind that gizzard!!

[JimithLander88]

Dear Matt,

You live in New Zealand, correct? Do you know Hayley Westenra? If you do, do you think you can get her to go out with me? Any help you could give would be much appreciated.

[Ioannx]

Dear Matthew,

how'd you propose a threesome? (mmf and mff btw)

[fTsabi]

Dear Matt!

I can't feel my ears! Do you feel yours? What should I do? I don't want to die!

[TheCousinizop]

Dear Matt

I'm 22 and I take care of my dad because he's old and shit. He collects telescopes. He always wants to talk to me....about telescopes. I hate telescopes. How can I get him to stop without being mean?

[leagist]

Dear Matt,

How can I become like John Petrucci?

[boobieshitthefloor]

Dear Matt,

Howcome you're such a big curly-headed fuck... and yet i can't stop dreaming about those glorious locks cascading beside the cheeks of a cherub?

[Morigoth]

1 * 2 * 3 * 4 * 5 * 6 * 7 * 8 * 9 * 10 / 9600 + SquareRoot ((3578-3574) to the tenth power) - 65 = ?

Cheers

P.S. I had the symbol for square root and power, but the stupid youtube comment wouldn't allow it!!

[marchewo123]

Dear Matt,

I challenge you to answer this question.

One day a peasant made a favour for the king, and in exchange the king told him to ask for whatever he wanted, so he told de king to grab a chess board and in each square put grains of wheat in this order until the board was full:

1st square-2 grains 2nd square-4 grains 3rd square -8 grains

4th square -16 grains

and so on and so on, the question is: Was it possible to fill the board? (btw the board has 64 squares)

Good Luck, marchewo123

[Kamelotgab]

Dear Matt,

My girlfriend keeps wearing slutty clothes, which makes me fucking jealous.

What would you do in my place?

[whowantsabighug]

@Kamelotgab Why don't you dress even sluttier to make her feel inadequate?

[V0r4xiz]

@Kamelotgab Ask her if you can wear her stuff, too. No more jealousy because you can wear hot clothes, too ! *sorted*

[deathrenegade999]

@Kamelotgab if you're jelous of her wearing slutty clothes then buy some slutty clothes of your own and you won't be jelous.

[bloodwolfjackel]

@Kamelotgab kitchen

[randomburnify]

Hello!

If a cat where falling in space, would it land on it's feet?

[gazzamuso]

Matt, where are my underpants?

[Museofchaz]

Dear Matt,

Will my question be on your show again?

[lucidiquedreams]

Dear Matt,



My name is lucidiquedreams. What's yours?

[marchewo123]

Dear Matt,

I was wondering how did i get to this video, actually i dont remember how i got to start writing this sentence. Can you tell me what is happening?

marchewo123

[ctk06]

Dear Matt,

I found out that my boyfriend was cheating on me with my twin sister. I saw them in the mall, and I realized she was wearing my shirt. How do I tell her to give it back?

[KARA5U123]

Dear Matt,

I'm a pony, how can I become a unicorn and how it feels to be a unicorn ?

[tjgnumber13]

Dear Matt,

I have to know, and since I'm too lazy to do two things at once, could you help me by telling me:

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?

[basp3]

Holy shit! I never expected to see something scientific in this series

[BASSPLAYER13]

Dear Matt, If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it how many chicken pot pies will it take to satisfy megatrons hunger?

[Samsuth1]

@MattMulholland26 CAN I HAVE YOUR BABIES?

[ghpmdm09]

Nice seventh chord at the beginning

[ryat75]

Dear Matt

Here's the situation, you're a Muslim soldier fighting for France in World War II, you are about to die, do you stick your finger up your bum to see what it feels like?

Ryan, Northern Ireland.

[mdgtrpckr]

Dear Matt-

What is the most clever way to Rick Roll somebody?

[AJRavenTV]

Dear Matt,

I saw my parents doing it. I cant get the image out of my mind. Whenever i blink its there. I cant go around them without looking at the ground. What should i do?

[bwahaha77]

Dear Matt

I just held your cat hostage, i need some awsome recording software like what you have in three days time, or i pluck her wiskers out one by one.

Love Bwahaha77

[scarletsummerable]

Dear Matt,

I intended to produce covers for songs and produce some original. How do i get copyright and license for the both the covered and original songs?

[zerocks88]

Hi matt, I have huge constipation problems and I've tried everything but a butt plunger. What do ?

[Pantstrovich]

Dear Matt,

I love you more with every video. I think I'm about to get in a fight with your girlfriend, a sexy baby oil fight.

Love,

Pants

[wwwawsomedotcom]

Dear Matt,

My name is Dan Mulholland, are you my mother?

[leumas2703]

Dear Matt,

I heard you like genitals. I like your genitals. Your genitals are bulbous and beautiful. Do you like your genitals?

[senorblinky]

Dude, epic intro!

[ronaldrager]

Dear Matt,

Why does Australian keep stealing our stuff

Sincerely

A lovable Kiwi

[sk84rice]

Hey Matt, why havent you appeared on 7 days yet! wtf!!!

[sushinissity]

Matt, I still love ninjas way more.

But your explanation as to why you believe pirates to be better is the very best I've heard. Nothing but respect and kudos ^_^

[GLOWSTICKSII]

I fucking love viewer comment of the week.

[iwhoalvin]

fuck yeah.

[pockeo]

Xbox or PS3...or the wiii! comon every loves the wii!.. especially Ur mum!

Dan :)

[oBIGxREDo]

Dear Matt,

Do you have a favorite band? If so who? If not which band did you last listen to? If you remember.

-Jeff

[LouisThompsonMunn]

Pretty sure I was there the night you almost got naked punched

[pagan1cow]

Dear Matt, I look like you. What should I do?

[aimee0880]

Love the intro!

lol

[insertatitlehere13]

You obviously don't read manga or watch anime. Oh well

[TheLadyApollo]

Dear Mike, i pooped on my pants, what shoud i do?

[ROFLpwnedvideos]

You may have just changed my allegiance from ninjas to pirates...

[Raamen123]

Dear Matt, Whats the difference of you and laxarative?

[j0Eg0NZ0]

Dear matt,

portal 2 is coming out soon

is the cake a lie?

[DekuDudeOcarina]

Dear Matt, Have you really been far even as decided to use want to go do look more like?

[MM1982]

In one of your recent videos you were playin guitar, how long have you been playing? Also whats your favorite type of music to play?

[CHiEF393]

Dear Matt,

How often does an ewok have to shave?

From, Mic and Jeff

[oBIGxREDo]

@CHiEF393 FUCK YES! I'VE BEEN WONDERING!

[mitacaro]

i heard that in holland mom's smell like matt mulholland.

* shit.

ps.: don't answer talking about my mom, because you always does

[wburton16]

@mattmulholland26

Dear Matt, I think I was born in the wrong time period, I probably should have been a viking.

[tjgnumber13]

Dear Matt,

Why?

[Bluesboyfella]

Dear Matt,

What is sex?

[3LP4TO]

Dear Matt,

I have been holding onto my shit since following your directions from episode 11 and now i am full of shit. What should i do?

[TheTripleB]

@3LP4TO Start talking out of your ass.

[V0r4xiz]

@3LP4TO Go into politics, obviously. Come on, that wasn't so hard, was it ? :)

[ISIJAH]

@3LP4TO You take a shit! : D

[scjustin2002]

dear matty,

is your song accidental incest a true story or are you hoping your mom would have had a hot daughter so you could have "accidental" incest?

shaun

p.s. do you have pictures from this "accidental" incest?

[sargentschlong]

Hey Matt, has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

[Darkichie]

Dear Matt,

When will you come to Venezuela and make a show?

By the way, I think my boyfriend and I are the only ones who know who you are here.

[americabacon]

Dear Matt,

Why are you so fucking awesome? And how did you become so fucking awesome?

[hayleythekid]

Dear Matt,

Who do you think would win in a fight between a grilled cheese sandwich and a taco?

[cryer3160]

omfg he actually said somehting right about owls but then again matt yur always right

[trebleshooting]

Loved the intro, dude.

[SSj5Bob]

Dear Matt,

Is the answer to this question "no"?

[redbrickhut]

i liked after "FUCK YEAH"

[Pevapa]

Dear Matt,

My raccoon sized penis is bleeding all over the place. What do I do?

[someidiot23]

HEY! Hey Matt,

If you were a hot dog Matt, would you eat yourself? Just curious.

You're possible future friend?

Someidiot23

[sirhcskoorb]

I like to split the screen and watch youtube on one side and porn on the other.

But lately your videos have been so good that I ignore the porn.

How difficult is it to apply for a foreign exchange student from a small Asian country to provide some "handsfree" service while I enjoy your comedy?

[papou74]

Answer (fucking go/return iPod button...)

[papou74]

Dear Matt, I found it weird that so many people commented and liked your videos so I tried a little experiment. I opened 2 windows in my browser and launched 2 different videos of you. AND IT WORKED! How do you do it? How can you be in two different videos at the same time? Are you a God? thanks in advance for your

[papou74]

Dear Matt,

[AndyKrull]

hahahahahh that intro was amazing.

[MikeOShay]

How can I suck dick from prison?

[KingCrassusII]

Dear Matt, what would be a good question to ask a certain awesome youtube personality if one wanted to show appreciation and admiration for the comedic and musical talents of said personality?

[thirteensenses22]

Dear Matt,

How can a guy eat a penis shaped food without making it seem like they are gay?

[MtVidya]

HOW DO I BEAT ZELDA?

[TheMperor5]

Hi Matt,

do you live in an hotel? Nice hallway ;)

[Drumsinstopmotion]

Dear Matt,

Why do I want to be you?

Also I like the new intro.

[Demonpop2]

I have shit. Can it be sorted?

[louwhopley]

Dear Matt

How fast can you sing the Alphabet?

Yours truly & sincerely

Me

[jimmyrichardsmusic]

Dear Matt,

What do I do?

Sincerely, Jimmy

[AudKath]

Dear matt,

My dog may or may not be an alien.... what do I do to not get probed?

Loooooooooooooooooooove,

AudKath

[sentinel9100]

dear matt

booobs? or butts?

[DaiZetsubouDan]

Dear Matt,

Why are there only O's in my Alpha-bits Cereal??

[DylanCornel]

DEAR MATT, Ive wrote before and have a new situation. totally worked and thanks for everything but here is my next question-- i was on my way to the perfect game (minus the crazy uncle) and now sister and cousin are pregnant. again you being the least qualified to help im begging for advice.... this American Indian needs you're advice more than ever now. preesh.

[Laedon123]

Dear Matt,

I can't seem to find your twitter... What is it?

[emilylime88]

@Laedon123 It's @Matt_Mulholland :)

[Laedon123]

@emilylime88 Thank you! I searched for that but without the "_" ...

[Snailnea]

Dear Matt,

I went to a concert and the skin on my leg got ripped off. Should I get that check out?

[ZeMace]

Can you cover me in cheese??

[teasesTheBear]

Dear Matt,

Do you think getting heads from a vegan should be considered cheating?

[Garrabutartulo1]

Dear matt,

I think you never pick my questions 'cause you can't pronounce my name after you read the question. Can you pronounce my name?

Sincerely, Garrabutártulo1.

[Garrabutartulo1]

Dear Matt,

I think you never pick my questions because you don't know how to pronounce my name. Can you?

Sincerely, Garrabutártulo1

[a1gaius]

Hey, Matt. I think I'm dying. I've had a terrible pain in my chest for around 5 minutes now. When I called 911, I realized that my cell phone was very old and crappy, so I'm looking for a new one. Blackberry or iPhone?

[dschofield85]

@a1gaius Dude! you should get that checked out. There is seriously something wrong!

They are both crap. ; )

[Kinesias]

Dear Matt,

Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?

[OscarApollo]

Dear Matt.

I have constipation issues. It's starting to get in the way of my life because the shit just won't come out, and I end up late for school. Can you help me?

Yours, Oscar Apollo

[RixhardBR]

Question from Brazil.

Why do you harras a monkey sometimes? That's racist!

[Xray950]

Dear Matt.

I just got anally raped. But that is not my problem.

My problem is,I kind of liked it.

Whatever should I do now?

Sincerely, Xray950.

[majersusi]

Dear Matt,

Since Bigfoot is the only kind of his species what does Bigfoot do whole day long? Does he eat chocolate cake?

[helmutlvx]

Dear Matt,

Would you review Crysis 2?

[CharlesOlson711]

Dear Matt,

TubGirl or Goatse? Also is it even possible to answer that question informatively, without being NSFW?