Asperger's and relationships with people who are neurotypical

[annyem]

I've come to the conclusion that in order to be in a relationship with a guy that has AS, you must: 1) have very strong self esteem, 2) describe your feelings as clearly as possible, think outside of the box and describe it like he were an alien =) 3) understand the sacrifices that you will have to make if you choose to stay with this person longterm.(the positives must always be greater then the negatives.) ...Sometimes people in love just aren't right for each other. 4) never assume

[miked31784]

Great job doing this video. It's hard for me to try to start a relationship with someone. I wish someday to find someone to get married and have children. I was diagnosed with Asperger's in 2006.

[philonqi]

And what if you tell Aspie what your needs are, and keep telling him over&over, and he still doesn't make any effort to respond to your expressed needs?

Does it then mean taht he really just doesn't care!?

[anwarwhufc83]

@philonqi maybe. I mean, I don't know the guy so I can't pass judgement. Maybe he does care but just can't meet your needs.

[diepiriye]

I appreciate this video and your earnest attempt to dialogue with people. I've visited probably some of the same sites you;ve mentioned, and found the same negativity. I am reminded- and want to remind you- that many people seek these sites in a certain mindset, such as times of crisis and need. Hence, those sites may in many ways be limited to crisis intervention, when partners are feeling most 'alone together'.

[CuriousColours]

It's amazing how many people automatically use labels for those who act unemotional or unresponsive to the demands of their partner...There is a difference between acting distant because you don't care (much more common than AS) and acting distant because that is how you naturally are. Some people are clearly using labels as a form of denial. On the other hand, it is also quite common for people with AS to give their partners the impression that they do not care about them when in fact, they do!

[Msdasher47]

I am 11 years in an AS/NT relationship - I'm NT. If I had to guess which forum you were refering to, would name AS Partners. I am a member. I have posted there. For me it is a vent. a release that stops me venting on people we both know so- Not real. Every other route I take to look for help in what is a very difficult relationship (tho undepinned by love so successful) addresses his needs, like I don't know them? Who tellsl him why what I need is also valid? Nice vid, liked it.

[anwarwhufc83]

@Msdasher47 Hi, thanks for the response and that you could take something from the vid. Like you said, love underpins your relationship so the rest can be worked on. It's the lack of genuine love that kills relationships 9 times out of 10. I wish you well.

[ryanisryan69]

Im an alcoholic and have aspergers...

Live is great, waking up ever morning is like getting kicked in the teeth.

Good video man/

[hollywoodartchick]

After being with an alcoholic, Aspergers is not that big of a challenge for me. Still a huge learning curve, and glad that some info is out there. Thanks for sharing.

[BumsenDK]

AMEN! Even book on aspergers syndrom and marriage/relationships sometimes mirror the posts your talking about.

ie: Life with a Partner or Spouse with Asperger Syndrome: Going over the Edge?

Im also married, my life is alot less complicated, I feel like im a good husband, simply because we talk about what we can and cannot contribute.

I think the rath these woman feel is from them wanting something, and not being able to have conversations about the things they want, in their relationships.