It's Morphing Now.

[leftysergeant]

I really never knew what I looked like until I figured out how to upload videos to YouTube. You mentioning that self-examination struck a chord with me.

(Hope you are more satisfied with the outcome than I was.)

[FrankCopper]

You got a "maggie"

from northern exposure thing going on.

[dwljk]

I couldn't agree more - you learn so much about yourself by vlogging

[HeidiSaid]

It can be a very scary process...  but completely worthwhile. ~peace

[AtomicUs5000]

5 stars! Good video!

[HeidiSaid]

Thank you kind sir. I hope you are doing well and have passed the feeling of burnout. I was glad to see that you gave yourself a break... and the other channel.  Kudos. :)

[Cristofer7]

this is such a good video!!!

[HeidiSaid]

I'm glad you enjoyed it...  It means a lot...

[mindfulmusic78]

you are so funny,you'd be a riot to hang out with!

[HeidiSaid]

I laugh at myself all the time!  ;P

[tonyschacher]

Stoppin in to see the latest... My Mom asked "Who's this Heidi girl?" LOL She's always got high hopes for me...

Anyway, Good day Miss :)

[HeidiSaid]

Well, tell your mother the bar is set low...:) Tell her I curse! *smile*

[pbeachmike]

lmao... i don't care what others think but, i do care about how i make others feel, as long as, they are honest about their feeling and they allow me my feelings...

=]:)>~

.

[HeidiSaid]

Well said. Mutual respect is a beautiful thing.

[jeremyjake1988]

cool video, heidi. cant really relate, since i dont vlog haha! but this is sweet.

[HeidiSaid]

I have to think you related in someway, or you wouldn't have enjoyed the video. ;)

[amaraca]

Love the new haircut. Words are silly, people are silly. So cool when you talk about the community - it's so true. I love your videos.

[HeidiSaid]

"WOrds are silly. People are silly" I couldn't agree more with this sentiment... :)

[Bartman2k7]

You got good lighting going on in this vid. A close focused atmosphere. Actually it's all been good before too.

[HeidiSaid]

Thanks! It wasn't preplanned... just the light from the computer. And glad you have enjoyed my videos.. :)

[Jervns]

Its good to see you (this) morphing along with the universe. Your grounding grounds me!

[HeidiSaid]

I have missed you. Sorry for the comment delay I started crocheting hats (of all the things I could be doing... :) I hope this finds you well.

As always - peace

[debswildhoney]

Heidi, I like your points here. Real Indian Chiefs? Your hair looks great after the hair cut for Locks of Love. I've thought how it might be to have relatives, and long lost friends view me. How would it be if I said "Fuck". We get to know ourselves and others here and create a bond like no other. It's a grand show and tell. I really like your take on this community and think you are lovely and beautiful in so many ways. Rotating cube is cool. 5 stars! :O) Be Warm.

[HeidiSaid]

Thank you dear. Sorry for the late response. I hope you are doing well... I look forward to an update every now and again... okay?

[snotmagic]

Did you used to be a model in the early 1980's?

[HeidiSaid]

No...

I was a pain in the ass teenager though! :)

[HeidiSaid]

Preteen that is...

[HeidiSaid]

No examples needed, and I care about what others think as well in a public setting. I think the huge difference with YouTube is that people have a control option. They don't have to watch. They can click off. Very different from being in the public although all public has access. The choice becomes the viewers. I wouldn't set up and 'talk' in the middle of Walmart or even on a street where people can't get away or out of earshot. As you know - I do not ignore the people on this earth.

[ChameleonArt]

"knocked up" lol Hi Heidi, great video about the evolution and importance of video communication. I had no idea what seeing my own reflection (physically and emotionally) would do, was quite shocked, facing truths. It gives one the chance to see oneself through others' eyes...something I always marveled at..."this person is looking at ME...how do they see me...through THEIR eyes"??? Strange that making videos could help me find out! And hey, your image is reversed in this video, right? Anne

[HeidiSaid]

It's so good to hear from you. It's been too long. I hope you are well and warm... I'm bracing for the cold front. It's snowing now which really helps insulate the cabin. I am very grateful. I do think it is reversed unlike a mirror...(or not reversed like a mirror???)

Be well!

[Tinypuppies2]

so true its interesting how people view us and see us how they want and not how we are,

gosh l lve the natural way your hair looks

it cups your face :)

[HeidiSaid]

I wish it was shorter or longer. It's in that place where it can be awkward... but I do like it and am used to the gaining and losing 1/2 lb of hair every few years.

It feels good to post - to want to post. :)

[ftom2006]

Awesome video, you must have found a way to stream positive energy. Yep, I remember a time when one of your subscribers had to leave in protest - because he couldn't stand to hear someone cursing. Geesh! So far about perception. Good to see you're back.

[HeidiSaid]

I remember also being upset by it! I've come a long way... Most of the negative is now behind me so I can move forward. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. What a long dark tunnel it has been. This Wednesday I peaked as I was served by the sheriff's dept. A fabulous experience. The house is in foreclosure and there isn't a thing I can do about it. I did make sure that I will not be held financially liable. Without getting married. :)

[anon2U224]

I never understood how getting married would prevent you from being liable. I've never heard of any kind of debt that can be avoided by marriage.

[justwatching1980]

sexy!

[HeidiSaid]

Okay! Wasn't going for that, but as long as you got something out of it... :)

[yaffle]

Chompa is an awesome name.

[HeidiSaid]

Nag yes! She's a wonderful cat!

[thebuzzmonkee]

I like your vids, though, because you seem honest.

[HeidiSaid]

I am honest - not always a pretty sight!

[thebuzzmonkee]

One of the things I like about YouTube is that it encourages my mild megalomania. I mean, really... people who think they're not feeding their egos when they make videos(just a little) really DO have a high opinion of themselves.

[HeidiSaid]

Interestingly enough, when I first started I was looking for 'help'. I live alone in the woods and don't have much 'community' and I found out my father had cancer. He almost died. It sucked. I really needed to express and release the rage and pain.

Completely selfish, but did very little for my ego. I just was in need. Now it's different in many ways and I am changed due to my experience here. I put 4k on my jeep last year. Having this outlet is as important to me as the nature I live with.

[justveiwing23]

I'll see your 4k on your jeep last year and raise you 2.8k on my toyota p/u last year. Ha!!

I too live in the peace of a rural setting..Good to see you back.

David

[HeidiSaid]

Very impressive! PLus toyota's tend to be more fuel efficient... good stuff! I hope to trump your 2.8 in the next year. How cool.

[HeidiSaid]

You like the short hair? Good. I hope you don't mind that I will be growing it again... ;)

Good to see you here. Good to be here!

Peace Dario.

[HeidiSaid]

Hey - thanks for the recent sub. I look forward to checking you out a bit more. Thank you for being here!

[matrixcmitech]

interesting topic... generating a lot of creative ideas for videos... so many i'll never write any of them down... just save them in my head. :)

[HeidiSaid]

It definitely has my attention. (I wish I could still remember things without writing them down...)

Be well.

[SilentDilemma]

I've only been on yt for a couple of months and I have already met some amazing people. I can't think of any other social situation in my life where I've been able to connect with so many inspired and creative people. I love it.

Nice to see a good ol' fashiond vlog from you, Heidi - as you said it's been a while. I hope there are more to come. :)

[HeidiSaid]

Watch for what you wish for... YT is an amazing place and a world culture. The talent that has come from the use of this forum, well it's a gift. So much creativity. It can be daunting until you realize that we all are gifts.

I hope your time here is as rewarding as it has been for me. ~peace

[petergoesonair]

You are profound as usual:) I hope I am still a minion:)There was so much good stuff in this video. It would take me a week to progress. I'm so glad you made a video!

[HeidiSaid]

I replied to you... and I will again. You will never be one of the minion! It's good to 'see' you... :)

[petergoesonair]

I loved the way that someone from Senator Gravel's official YT channel made an appearance here. The HeidiSaid giveth, the HeidiSaid taketh away, blessed be the name of HeidiSaid.:) You once called me one of your minions, albeit with "LOL" added after "minion". Well,I hope you send me a PM one day.:)I miss them.

[HeidiSaid]

I remember. My friend used to sat that and it stuck. One day you will all be my minion! Not egocentric at all. Hey... I think I was the last one to write...??? :)

[petergoesonair]

I don't think you were the last one to write.:) I'll write.:)

I liked thinking that I was one of your one of your minions! Give it back unless there is lifelong friendship provisions that I need to fulfil and/or other stringent provisions that I don't meet.:)

Also I want to make some comments about this video but for another time!

[jrsnyderjr]

Gina's vlog re-started a train of thought for me that I had lost as you can do when daily things happen. It was about the merging/splitting of rl and yt for me. I've been wondering how to form my thoughts or even what they are on my situation with it and how to vlog on it...you put a perspective on it that was quite insightful for doing that. This medium is so strange that way isn't it? sort of like the call you received...now I'm typing wandering here. lol!

[HeidiSaid]

Feel free to type-wander any time you like here! I have wanted to talk to you ever since I checked out your channel. I will (damn it) write you.

Now - this video wasn't going to happen. I have made many videos lately which i haven't posted. (The irony.) Like yourself, I was impacted by Gina's vlog. It wasn't until today that I was able to 'look back' at what I had said to realize my personal hypocrisy. I am I making sense? I think I am. Okay - now I'm typing to myself... :)

[anon2U224]

This is a very significant topic that people are just waking up to discover how important it is. We need a lot more discussion of this. "merging/splitting of rl and yt"; public vs. private; what to post? when to post? and when not? There is much more to this than has been acknowledged to date.

[HeidiSaid]

Well, it is a constant evolution. "Morphing"... so interesting to me that I actually used this word.

[jrsnyderjr]

Actually I had never thought of using it in the context you did here but it makes perfect sense in that way, hmmmm...I may borrow it.

[HeidiSaid]

It's all yours. Ever since I watched you video about the internet I've been thinking about it, so please!

The anthropology of the social psychology of 2D interaction. It really is quite an amazing time to be involved with this fast paced evolution.

[bloodgulch1]

evolution?

Can i ask you someting?

-What will humans evolved into next? Back to Apes?

[HeidiSaid]

I was referring to the evolution of this format...

Humans and reverse-evolution ( a recent concept dismissed) I do not believe in.

[snarkdetriomphe]

hey my shade of blue is yours too!

fuck it, mom, your daughter swears but it isnt the end of the world.

[HeidiSaid]

She too is a fabulous user of words... And there is a time and a place. I do need to recognize this as a public forum, but like yourself - I am human and I will fucking curse every now and then. It's authentically used!

Cheers to blue!

[anon2U224]

Human? You're a new species the biologists haven't discovered ... yet. LOL

[HeidiSaid]

This may very well be true... :)

[stevo35972]

I've been watching your videos for many months but have never commented before. Love your videos and you probably have heard this before but your uniquely gorgeous!

[HeidiSaid]

Thank you. One of the interesting things I found out from doing videos is that people found me attractive. Also, watching yourself makes you aware - much more so than looking in a mirror as to what you look like.

Thank you for your comment. Please never hesitate to comment even if it is critical. I like this medium for it is interactive. :)

[Sacramentosaint]

WOW! Nice vid loved it. I always fear people at work will find me on here... Or my mother.

[HeidiSaid]

That was it... really making sure that mom knew. I could handle dad. :) They say if you aren't willing to shout it from a street corner you shouldn't put it on the internet. I suppose I like shouting.:)

[Justinmazing]

Your right. I now can really see myself and take a good look at me and find out who I am through making these videos. And let me tell you-Damn am I awesome! And humble too!

[HeidiSaid]

Well, you said it best - I am an opinionated bitch! It feels good to be able and want to vlog again. Oh, do I have another wonderful story for you! I have incurred such great material from my recent follies!

[Justinmazing]

Your putting words in my mouth. And "such great material from my recent follies?" Did u just get back from the renaissance fair? :P

If you don't make a video about it I'll be on Skype Sun.

[HeidiSaid]

Point well made. Let me get my chariot and see if I can get to skype in time. ;)

[guidotnb]

Just don't morph into Ian. ;o) OH NO! Cats!

[HeidiSaid]

Ian is his own entity. I don't think I would be capable... and yes, NOW you understand the quandary I was in recently! All hell broke loose after you Matthias drew lines in the litter... :)

[bwhahrhr]

I love drawing lines in litter. Makes good paintings :o)

[HeidiSaid]

It can be very Zen like I suppose.;) Chompa and Lambie do enjoy it... They are very sweet, but we are a house divided. Damn you! :)

[ChristopherMast]

You curse like a sailor in Skype ;)

[gravel2008]

I'm sure you do the same, Chris. ;-)

[ChristopherMast]

Wow... You got me there :)

[petergoesonair]

That's the thing about Senator Gravel and his supporters always trying to expose the truth.Always wanting to love and care;they're not content with the rhetoric of change but articulate well thought out positions.He took the brave and heroic act of helping end the Vietnam War when he was in the Senate. No senator has chosen to follow his example and help bring an end to the war in Iraq. (cont))

[petergoesonair]

HeidiSaid quotes Jimi Hendrix on her channel, "When the power of love

overcomes the love of power,

the world will know peace."

These words remind me of her and Senator Gravel.

A person elected president who stands up to corporations and who is not in "debt" to them, would be awesome. A person who truly cares and who has the record

to prove it,would be awesome as president. Otherwise, if another is elected I'll watch who their advisers are and follow the money (back to Wall St).

[HeidiSaid]

Wall Street... is it still there? Hi stranger!

[petergoesonair]

Well it seems it will be a little while until

we connect. I don't want to be a stranger! I want to be one of the minion! I'm using this defintition of minion, "Minion is a term for favourites or protégés, especially those of a monarch or prince at a royal court." Of course,everyone is special and unique. (cont. but later.)

[HeidiSaid]

Yes - you busted him quite nicely. My thanks!

[HeidiSaid]

This was to gravel2008... :)

[snotmagic]

turning into crazy cat lady

[HeidiSaid]

I suppose I already was one...

[achampag]

yeah...i am getting to a place where if you dont sign my paycheck or are close to me, your opinion...well....opinions are like assholes!

=)

love the pet reunion on skype!

[HeidiSaid]

You do have an abrupt way about you at times which I really admire. I look forward to sharing more on the cats. It was wonderful fun!

[benzone50]

its a sense of belonging to a community you can give to, recieve from & make friends that you probably never would have. life is too short!

i find it rewarding watching, uploading & sharing on youtube! thanks for sharing heidi, ben.

[HeidiSaid]

As long as it is fun, and things haven't been very 'fun' in my real world and seemingly not much fun here recently. I keep thinking that many of us have YT cabin fever. It's my most recent analysis. :) I'm most likely wrong, but I think it fun to theorize! ~peace Ben

[DreCooper]

Wow, it has been a long time! I also get a considerable number of responses asking why I would want to "bare all" to a bunch of strangers online. I guess I've never put too much thought into it. The sense of community we've developed here though, was a surprising bonus to the whole vlogging thing and probably the biggest reason we're all still kickin' around. Good to see you again, Heidi.

[HeidiSaid]

Hey - good to hear from you. I haven't had anything nice to say so I didn't say much of anything lately. I can say that the ordeal I went through will make for some interesting videos when I am able to laugh at it all... I guess these things take time.

I think you're spot on with your observation of community. It was unexpected for me as well. A pleasant surprise! ~peace (oh yes... can tell you how many people still comment on the zeitgeist vid? Have you had the same experience?)

[DreCooper]

Oh man, I've considered pulling the video for just that reason - new comments all the time.

[TheRealistCanuck]

wow amazing vid. you're one of the best.

[HeidiSaid]

Hey - thanks. It's amazing what can be done with a bit of hindsight and editing... You are a tough critic, so thank you.

[DieselBodine]

Interesting glimpse into The Heidi psyche. Let's all ''morph'' in the best ways we can. 8-)

[HeidiSaid]

Yes indeed. The Heidi psyche can be a very scary place some times.. ;) lol

Thank you for tolerating and indulging this bizarre aspect! Yes, let's morph. (Love to hear that song - jeez) ~peace

[bwhahrhr]

(o:

(promissed real comment when not sleepy and overnighed coming soon near a comment-section near you! couldn't resist not watching)

[HeidiSaid]

Sleep dear Litmus. 'I' will be here when you awaken!

[nbwulf]

Enjoyed it...glad to see another vid my friend. You have a great lil energy about you. (=

[HeidiSaid]

Thanks. It feels good to have energy that is positive in fashion. I've been through a rough patch. It feels good to see the light at the end of the tunnel. :)

[SonomaDave1]

I love your inflections, what you say, how you look, the sound of your voice...its all so good. But HOW can a person NOT be concerned about what others think? I am older and still struggle with those things. As a matter of fact, it is all I can do to just post these thoughts without worry that someone will see and know it is me. Is it genes??? Or is it conditioning???

[HeidiSaid]

Wow. If you want to get into nature vs. nurture, I could talk all day! I suppose any caring person does consider others. For me, it is a matter of knowing that my truth is valid. That I am valid. Took me many years to get here, and it still isn't easy. (I'm older that I look)

[EnglishAndProud007]

Fuck!!!

Good to see you smiling. Take care. :o)

[HeidiSaid]

Hey - thank you for your kind thoughts. I am sorry I didn't respond. It's been a wild time, but your words and thoughts were not wasted.

Sincerely, Thank you.

[bloodgulch1]

I dont know why people treats animals(Dogs, cats..etc) like they are human.

Some people even called them their children;

people need to stop attaching their emotions to things because if the thing breaks or dies, they will be heart broken.

[HeidiSaid]

I like to feel, therefore I attach emotions to things. The pain makes you realize that you are alive - that you still are capable of feeling.

My pets are my kids, so yes - I 'humanize' them. Actually, I treat them the way should be treated, with love and attention.

[bloodgulch1]

lets see....A dog or cat average life span is like 12 years or so, Are you going to get new ''kids'' after they die (God Forbid, I dont wish that to actually happen to you)

[HeidiSaid]

Too late. I'm on my second or third set of children - depending if you look at it from a cat or dog perspective.

[bloodgulch1]

I heard women have periods, Is it true?

[HeidiSaid]

I believe so.

(The school system really fails so many of us...)

[bloodgulch1]

When was the last time you have yours?

Lol.....

[HeidiSaid]

You must be bored, although I can only assume.

[bloodgulch1]

i kinda recall you saying you have anger issue because your father have cancer..(sigh)

I will reckon you to start listening to metal rock or just be goth, thats the way i deal with my anger issue.

[HeidiSaid]

I think I'm too old to react in such a fashion. He is in remission so... not quite sure where you got that from.

[proffmongo]

You're alive!!!! Yayyy!!!

I wish I could worry about what people thought when I made videos!!! Well atleast my mom wishes I could!! LOL!!!

She once told me I need to make videos that my Grand Mother could watch!! LOL!!! You look lovely today. Dogs n Cats

[HeidiSaid]

It was film from the day before, but thank you! Yes, I am now aloud to 'talk' I think without fear of legal recourse. What a shit time it has been. More soon. Fish n chips! ~peace

[DocHolliday92966]

Heidi can you remind me what TV is again cause Im about to do a childrens show on TV and for the last year all Ive seen is You Tube...Although I may be way better in front of a camera now than I was a year ago I'm afraid the interaction with people I get here may be lost in the syndacation of a show thats done once a week and then forgotten... I mean how can you make a impact without inter action?...hum

Any thoughts hun?

Peace

muah

[HeidiSaid]

I suppose it depends on your definition of interaction. However, not having a TV myself for many years, I'm not sure.

Whenever I think of a children's show I think of Mr. Rogers who creeped me out as a child, although I have heard lovely things about the man.

[Rudenewt]

If youre out on a moonlit night

Be careful of them neighbourhood strays

Of a lady with long black hair

Tryin to win you with her feminine ways

Crystal ball on the table

Showing the future,the past

Same cat with them evil eyes

Youd better get out of there fast

[HeidiSaid]

Love this. Is it yours?

[Rudenewt]

Not mine I'm afraid, I'm way to dumb to do something creative. It's Cliff Richard's song Devil Woman tying into your earlier vlog statements about cursing. And the refrain goes...

Shes just a devil woman

With evil on her mind

Beware the devil woman

Shes gonna get you

Shes just a devil woman

With evil on her mind

Beware the devil woman

Shes gonna get you from behind

Love ya Heidi, I'm just a baaaaaaad boy ;)

[HeidiSaid]

Now I have to look the song up to see if I recognize it. If you're a bad boy then the world is a wonderful place!

[Allofthem1]

Good god, you remind me so much of one of my ex-girlfriends, it's uncanny.

[HeidiSaid]

I'm sorry??? Not quite sure to respond here. lol

[citizenstand]

it can fuck you up in all the best ways. love!

[HeidiSaid]

Exactly.

The big "life moments" I have aren't profound events per se... They are more "DUH! How bleeping obvious!

thank you

[ItalianStallionette]

Hey... I just sent you a friend invite. I can't comment until you do... Pout...

[HeidiSaid]

That's crap. YT is messed up. I'll go look. :)

[HeidiSaid]

****My bad, not YT's.****

[ItalianStallionette]

ahhaha.. for fuck sake! I just adore you. I do hope it's ok I say this, but you are stunning looking. You're a beautiful woman. And I probably mean that in a gay way.. haha

[HeidiSaid]

The lesbians love me although I believe to be heterosexual. I think. (I like being alone after what I've been through!)

Let me check my 'options' to make sure I'm correct. (I like flirting regardless. Love is Love. :) )

[HevyDevy]

3:22 <-praise be to the sneezing ghost dogs!

Words make everything so complicated and we give them so much meaning, anyway you are a nice video. :)

[HeidiSaid]

Thank you for mentioning my own personal "elephant in the room". *sigh* *smile*

Thank you. I've been hyper-conscious about things here of late... :) (i sound like an english teachers daughter... e not E purpose. .. NO! I am not passive-aggressive! :))))

[sadvipran]

sweet. this is a phenomenal analysis of the intricacies of RL v. YT. also personally fulfilling as i miss you. i'm lugging my computer home right now, hopefully i can get stuff plugged in and functioning again.

[HeidiSaid]

Ralph Lauren? (I miss you to as well. I miss me as well, but all is coming back, the eclipse maybe? I felt "new" today. :) Yeah!

[JelloSheriff]

luv your vids, especially the way you edit. btw, the new cut is cool.

[HeidiSaid]

Well, I can't do anything for a tax break, but cutting my hair and giving publicity to Locks Of Love made me feel goody. Really good! ~Thanks

[HeidiSaid]

You're so on top of the situation... (hm - sounds fun) (I'm terrible)

Seriously - than you. I have enough stuff recorded to last me months. Lots of birds, coyotes and porcupines, or signs of them.

Yesterday I was "served". "Served" isn't a good word when you are 37. It was accepting the blame for my ex of 3 years being incompetent now. 'Guilt by association'.

~Love it like war. ..... (I'm evil but smiling - it's been a long time since I spoke! Sincerely, thank you. Perfect timing.) ~peace

[StephStance]

Ooo YOU! I love who you are!

[HeidiSaid]

I think I love me too. I have so much more to say, and I can now talk! Freedom! Yeah!

[johnnysmooth]

YAAAAAAAY!!! I miss your videos. seriously. i need to make one now.

[HeidiSaid]

The messaging system is bothering me... your response is also another response to Steph... *sigh*