Added: 1 year ago
From: davidmitchellsoapbox
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  • I burst out laughing with his description of the cat and the gerbil! Brilliant!

    When is David's knighthood coming?

  • Oh god, why is this animated .___.

  • the kiwifrut that wakes up.

  • If you knew anything about camels, you'd find them incredibly similar to giraffes. They have nearly the same head and features, minus the horns. Camel necks are similarly long, giraffes are just more so. Their body and legs are also near duplicates, again just made larger or longer. Nearly everything between the two looks the same, aside from the fur coloring and scale.

  • @poperuku Well colour doesn't really matter I suppose but scale is a relatively big issue!

  • @RPSM101

    Pun?

  • @Qw3rtypop Damn straight!

  • I think they misspelled 'Oryx'.

  • Can you also do one on the origin og the cameltoad?

  • He looks like a strawberry ice cream

  • it was the Romans that named it that and they couldn't describe it any other way. and c'mon its not that big of a jump. I love David Mitchell but as a wildlife biologist i didnt find this one funny

  • yes, it's kiwifruit! :P not kiwi...

  • The marketer and the discoverer remind me of Hugh Laurie and Stephen Fry.

  • I wander if QI was the inspiration for this episode

  • The David Mitchell animation looks like a burnt thumb.

  • Did he phone this one in?

  • No matter how many times I watch this, and even though I know what to expect, "Gerbil, the kiwifruit that wakes up" kills me every time.

  • the little cartoon man in the blue shirt looks like Hugh Laurie.

  • Doesn't care if you live or die... XD

  • I learned a new word today!

  • Holy eff, I nearly passed out over your description of a gerbil.

  • @kaosgoblin I was about to say that too.

  • Aw David, youre not fat, stop drawing yourself that way

  • the word camelopard actually derives from the greek words, camila (camel) and pardali (fancy, funny looking), it has nothing to do with a leopard, and as much as i love david mitchell, this time he hasn't done his research very well.

  • @orjalaivaoptimia

    I believe that it was a deliberate misunderstanding for comic effect.

  • @BackhandTrebond yes that would make perfect sence too, of course

  • @orjalaivaoptimia

    Are you sure? The wikipedia article says Its scientific name, which is similar to its archaic English name of camelopard, refers to its irregular patches of color on a light background, which bear a token resemblance to a leopard's spots, and its face, which is similar to that of a camel. In any case these videos are meant to entertain, not be science lessons

  • Did David put on a bunch of weight before being animated? Or does the animator just not like him? They say the camera adds 10 pounds... looks like the pencil adds about 50!

  • why does the explorer look like john cleeses

  • haha 'gerbil, the kiwi fruit that wakes up' listening to these at work and i burst out laughing so the entire office turned around and looked at me which just made it worse :)

  • Chinese gooseberry.... because it's downy like a goose, a fruit like a berry and "foreign" like the Chinese....

  • press 6 for queef

  • 1:18

    

  • Listening to David reminds me of hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy, the radio series, he sounds just like the narrator and the way he talks sounds a lot like Douglas Adam's satirical writing....

  • Reminds me of that weird Ricky Gervais thing.

  • Daaavid! Oh dear, I thought you were above such trivialities! You don't call it an "apple fruit" or a "banana fruit" so why call it a "kiwi fruit ?!?!?!

    It is a Kiwi - that's it! You ought to be ranting about the likes of this and "The Ukraine"

  • @kofieye Because a kiwi is also a bird, and because of the way it's filmed he rants as if he was speaking in person where he would have no way of illustrating he meant the fruit and not the bird without saying so.

  • @Miners666 No cos it's kiwifruit in NZ and in the UK. The fruit is only called kiwi and not kiwifruit in the USA.

  • @imasinnerimasaint hmm, weird don't think I've heard anyone call it a kiwifruit in real life in the UK, but okay :)

  • @Miners666 Well I could be wrong about the UK. Definitely kiwifruit in NZ though. I can speak for NZ but I am willing to be corrected about the UK. :c)

  • @Miners666

    It is called that in the UK, but most people shorten it to "kiwi"

  • @kofieye It's kiwifruit. That's its name. It's kiwi only in the USA. Apple, banana...kiwifruit.

  • I love this, it'd be great as a sort of Ricky Gervias Show type show.

  • Erhmm, I don't like the animated shit...

  • OH MY, at first I absorbed it in that David was wearing cowboy hostlers. Now I see the holsters are his legs and he's sitting on a stool.

  • dermatologist: fancy a few hundred jars of my new face cream?

    marketeer: is it a load of bull and does it smell like a dog?

  • Is it just me, or does the discoverer look exactly like John Cleese?

  • I want a kiwi fruit that wakes up! It's so cute!

  • Like the animation style.

  • Given his frequent rants on poor standards of written English, I shouldn't think Mr Mitchell was pleased to discover that the animators spelled Oryx wrong...

  • Cat - small, neat and doesn't care if you die. Hahaha!

  • It's cat! The dog of tomorrow!

  • Do you think he couldn't be bothered to turn up at the studio?

  • @WillShakespeare2007 lol i'd laugh if that were true :D x

  • i like the cartoon version of him.

  • That is really not an attractive animation.

  • is that how david sees himself?

  • Brillant.  Absolutely brilliant. Need I say more?

  • ..I love Cats & Dogs but because I'm busy all the time I can only have a Cat, Dogs need too much attention and need too much of your time which is great if you got the time but annoying if you don't.

  • 17 people didn't like this video and expressed their opinion by clicking the dislike button.

  • Just me or does the 'marketer' totally look like Lee Mack???

  • @toastysock Yes he really does look like him!

  • Why is he so red??

  • David Mitchell is a dog person :P

  • My compact, selfish dog once tried to eat my kiwi fruit that wakes up.

  • @Hannaitlyn The contrast in this comments amusing nature before and after watching the video is rather large. Good job (Y)

  • And gerbil, the kiwi fruit that wakes up!

  • love the episode but i think you'll find that the camelo refers to the a camel, and the pard refers to a horse, still not making much sense i know. But definitely no reference to a leopard I'm afraid.

  • @TopherGriffin Not true. Look it up.

  • @MrRik2 i only said this because in afrikaans (my second language) we call giraffes kameelperd, and cameel means camel and perd mean horse... dutch routes, so it caught me out.

    Yeaahh i even read the afrikaans page on where we get it from and you are right, we take the perd from luiperd.

    So thanks for the update, i don't like being wrong but ill put my hands up on this, cheers ^^

  • lol

    

  • OMG and if anyone asks downplay the neck. LMFAO!

  • Cartoon david looks so much like John Prescott

  • booooo, cats are great

  • Cats do care if you live or die. Cats are awesome animals, natural existentialists, with bigger souls than dogs.

    Cats rule dogs drool.

  • @KittenButter Your cat is laughing at you right now behind your back. Oh wait, what am I saying? Your multiple cats are laughing at you.

  • @KittenButter

    comparing cats and dogs is like comparing television and marmite. they are completely different things. oh, and you might be a BIT biased anyway, judging by your name.

  • @KittenButter ok I am totally a cat person.. but no cats dont give a flying crap if you live or die.. well they do.. because then who would feed them and wait on them hand and foot..

    Cats.. the only domesticated animal who.. isnt in any way domestic..

    and your name.. is disturbing.. look up the process of making any type of butter..

    ... *shudders* Kitten Butter.. eww

  • @KittenButter ok I am totally a cat person.. but no cats dont give a flying crap if you live or die.. well they do.. because then who would feed them and wait on them hand and foot..

    Cats.. the only domesticated animal who.. isnt in any way domestic..

    and your name.. is disturbing.. look up the process of making any type of butter..

    ... *shudders* Kitten Butter.. eww

  • @KittenButter I disagree. Although i does depend on the type of dog. I have met many cats, 2 of which have been friendly, a lot didn't care and 3 that tried to claw my face off. dog breeds such as the Labrodor are very friendly and loyal

  • Kameelperd (Camel Horse in Afrikaans) sounds like someone english heard the kameelperd word and mispronounced it after that and here you have camelopard?

  • doesn't care if you live or die! - hahaha so true

  • @PocusUK Idk about that... my cats care... If I don't let them know I'm around for a long period of time, they get pissed at me.

    Ok so they know they need me to feed them. Because they're pampered and would rather die than hunt for mice... >__>

  • Haha.... kiwi fruit that wakes up...!

  • I heard that PETA want us to call fish "sea kitten" so we think they're cute and we stop eating them for food.

  • @scrustle If we have to call fish "sea kitten", does that mean we can call kittens land fish?

  • Camelopard might come from Persian (I think, maybe?). Because an old name for giraffes is "shotor gaav palang" which means literally "camel-cow leopard." The modern name is zirafeh, but the old way of combining the names of known animals for ones that hadn't been seen before gave names like "camel bird" to ostriches and "water chicken" to ducks in Persian. Same for giraffes. A lot of Persian words entered English through Hindi during the Empire; maybe camelopard is one of these.

  • @Zayandeh38 Read some of the comments further back. I guess the Persian is also from the Greek then, or something.

  • Why is this one a cartoon?

  • 'Small, neat & doesn't care if you live or die!' FUcking awesome.

  • The strange position the animation's hands are in coupled with his strange purple complexion gives the impression that David's squeezing his balls so hard his face has gone purple...

  • Personally I reckon the point of this rant has absolutely nothing to do with the word Camelopard and everything to do with marketing; and everyone whos complaining about it has in fact therefore thoroughly missed the point.

  • I listen to the rant while reading the comments, so I don't care. That is my unsolicited opinion.

  • ...or disgruntled viewers point out

    b) That the cartoon is 'stupid' and you just want the usual

    My comment:

    b) I don't mind the new format really but love the completely ignored irony that comes from those who slam it on YouTube. OK, so you guys want what you are used to, that's fine! It's like when the marketer explains to the explorer that people like what they are used to - they don't want 'new things'. Lol... so true.

  • Disgruntled viewers point out 1 of 2 things:

    a) That on QI the explanation of the origins of camelopard has already been offered

    My comment:

    a) I am sure David Mitchell is fully aware of the origins of the word by now! In fact, I'd go as far to say that he only mentioned it and the marketing explanation for - shock horror - comic effect. I also have it on good authority he knows the difference between a cat and dog and that kiwi fruits don't wake up but actually remain asleep indefinitely...

  • Animation aside, it was called a camelopard because that was the Anglicisation of a Roman borrowed Greek-origin word. It falls a bit flat when there isn't actually anything to rant about, unless Mr Mitchell would like to relay his complaints to the Ancient Greeks and on to Pliny the Younger.

  • @FlossPyromaniac

    Right you are. This explanation was covered by Stephen Fry on QI, which David Mitchell has appeared on many times. Is he just pretending ignorance?

  • @FlossPyromaniac

    I agree, I don't suppose David Mitchell realises that animal names don't originate from the marketing world...

    Neither would he have any idea that his rants would be taken so literally...

    What probably "falls a bit flat" to most people is your; wickedly cutting, thoroughly researched, tongue-ever-so-slightly-off-ce­ntre-but-not-quite-reaching-th­e-cheek-because-you're-not-fun­ny criticism

    Bravo Douchebag

    Bravo

  • "New cat ......... small, neat and it doesn't care if you live or die." I love it.

  • The cartoon is stupid. Stick to the usual please.

  • @annoyingweirdo I don't know, it's nice to have a change

  • @HairyBassist

    The fact that it's a cartoon didn't have to make it stupid. But it did. David looks so silly here imo

  • MMm, are they trying to pull an HBO "Ricky Gervais Show" type thing with this animation? I'd rather just have David talking to the camera instead of a cartoon. BTW, the double chin is kinda mean, isn't it?

  • "and doesn't care if you live or die"

    lol.

    So true ...and I still prefer cats.

  • 'small, neat and doesn't care if you live or die'

    If you live, you feed it, if you die, it eats you. win-win

    'Kiwi-fruit that wakes up' lol

  • I love the regular segments, but I thought this animated one was brilliant! Personally I'd like to see more. The animation relies heavily on his voice for expression, but David seems to have a very versatile comedic voice.

    Heheh...compact, selfish dog. Fantastic!

  • Who knew God was British?

  • I like how the marketer looks like Hugh Laurie.

  • I love my cat but I have to admit it’s a little disconcerting to know it’ll happily eat my face when I die.

  • These animations are good :P Keep going david!

  • I felt this one fell flat a bit... this and the hauliers. 31 out of 33 are brilliant

  • 1:33 lolz

  • rolf, gerbil the kiwi fruit that wakes up

  • He's not a cat person then I take it? *sniffle*

  • the animations not bad but the character ddesign for david mitchell is horrible

  • Very funny audio, but the visual was terrible. Forget the animation, it's the real David we love.

  • Shoot whoever animated you david - they make you look snidey and generally not nice. We want to see just your face in front of a camera.

  • I think the animation suits this particular rant very well.

  • I'm hoping that was because DM was busy and could only do the recording by voice?

  • No thank you to the animation. Half the reason I watch these is to see David's adorable mug.

  • No.

  • Animated DM is nowhere near as funny as the real deal, but it unlocks new potential. The whole thing with the two marketers played out like a Mitchellian Monty Python. And you can't say the words Mitchellian Monty Python without your heart skipping a beat.

  • "Gerbil- the Kiwi fruit that wakes up" LOL

  • I really like the animation, but yes, would much prefer to see David himself.

  • why have they made David Mitchell into some sort of phallic object with a toupé and a shirt on...?

  • "Gerbil. The Kiwifruit that wakes up." :)

  • @NiallMor That bit made me laugh heartily!

  • I like the animation but not as much as I like looking at David Mitchell talk.

  • I think it's sort of sweet. Not as ranty as the usual Soapboxes, but it does have animals. The caricature of DM and his voices were amusing. No harm in trying something different once in a while. "Panda, the penguiny bear."

  • CAT! Small, neat, and doesn't care if you live or die! =)

  • Comment removed

  • This programm is win

  • David Mitchell animated looks like a penis with a face. Stop it.

  • I am amused by the fact that animated!Mitchell is a more smiley ranter than actual!Mitchell.

    Cute cartoon, fun rant, nice work chaps!

  • Didn't like the animation

  • I think the animation helps, you cant compare it to "The Ricky Grevais Show" they are totally different things, saying there similar just coz their animated is weak, the major difference is ones a scripted rant with visuals the others ab-lib conversation.

    But I'm not fond of cartoon David though, think i'll go try to draw/ come up with my version :-)

  • I must be the only one who liked the animation. Very fitting.

  • Ooh no.... No more animation please

  • gerbil....the kiwi fruit that wakes up! lol class

  • My theory is that David was unavailable to be filmed for this one so they animated him instead maybe? But I didn't particularly like the animation...

  • Animate, sure, it adds style and visuals, but please don't animate David himself, especially when he looks like a bullet.

  • @littleNorwegians I was thinking he looks like a penis.

  • @heranje Now, the question is. Do I have funny-shaped bullets or do you have a funny-sha... never mind.

  • @littleNorwegians It must be the first - being female, I don't have a 'never mind'.

  • H. Belloc has this to say about the camelopard: The Camelopard, it is said By travellers (who never lie), He cannot stretch out straight in bed Because he is so high. The clouds surround his lofty head, His hornlets touch the sky. How shall I hunt this quadruped? I cannot tell! Not I! ... The poem continues but the next part, as such of his poems, has accompanying illustrations which greatly add to the humour. I advise that you look it up. Btw, the toon Mitchell is unflattering.
  • they;ve got his hand movements down pat.

  • I liked the animation. I just thought David's character didn't really look like him that much.

  • "Small, neat , and doesn't care if you live or die!" - hilarious XD

    I didn't like it as much animated though, but thats just because I love seeing his expression when he rants ^^

  • Without any critical analysis - It made me laugh. That is enough for me.

  • Yes, preferred them as they were. Like the animation style though - perhaps real David ranting, with animated inserts?

  • I like the animation with the marketer and the explorer, but it would be nice if this was cut into live action David.

  • I don`t think I quite like it animated. And this one doesn`t feel as...."David-y" as these little rants usually do.

  • Animation is cute, adds to the hilarity.

  • So what marketeer decided to animate thist I wonder?

  • I did know actually. Great selling of cats. Except he missed out the great way they needlessly kill birds and small mammals. Who needs biodiversity.

  • @chrisofnottingham - Yes, shame on them for eating things. Like the animals they are.

  • @gradgurl2007 Cats don't tend to eat the things they catch. They'll often just play with the possibly still-living animal (essentially, torture it). It's all for fun, not food. Not all cats do this but most do and it's one habit that can't be put down to 'animals have to eat'.

  • @wight1984 - Some of them may do that. My cat occasionally does it, but mostly she eats what she kills or leaves it a a present for me. I don't see anything wrong with what they do.

  • @gradgurl2007

    Point was that their behaviour can't be justified out of a need to eat. It's just cruelty. Whether or not you find cruelty in animals to be a bad thing, it's still cruelty and it's entirely understandable why some people might not like that. I personally find it a rather displeasing trait.

  • @wight1984 - Except that you're assigning a human trait to an animal. I'm against cruelty to any animal and the problem I have is that people take arguments like yours and use them as excuses to be cruel and abuse animals.

  • @gradgurl2007

    Cruelty is not a specifically human trait nor am I judging cats by human standards. If I was to judge cats by human standards then my position would be much more extreme.

    There's nothing in my argument that locally implies that anyone should be cruel to animals either. Just because cats tend to be cruel does not justify the same behaviour in people.

  • @wight1984 - Cruelty is a trait that animals do not possess. Humans have assigned them that trait based on how we interpret their actions. They have instincts. Their instinct is to hunt. I don't see why everyone is so upset. Oh, the poor mice and other diseased vermin! How dare we get rid of them!

  • @gradgurl2007 Not true. Ever see a troop of Chimpanzees relentlessly torment a smaller, weaker member of the family? Or hunt monkeys, beat them to death, and then just leave the bodies?

  • @gradgurl2007

    That's silly.