To Catch A Predator: Chris Hansen Pickup Lines

[TheOowaoowa]

It isn't Chris Hansen without I like rape!

[newchannelish]

Some of these fit together quite well. "I've been in television for 27 years, do you need some help?"

[melgibsonsballs]

i like rape

[MassTransit999]

Baby....15 can get me 20

[OnBakePlatinum]

So Lieutenant... what are we investigating tonight?

[Bossk333]

Each of these pick up lines got me smacked. Flagrant false advertising.

[TheGreyestRust]

@Bossk333 Really? Even "Imma-gonna-lick-ya?".

[rick6393]

Next time I stalk an under aged girl . I am going to ask her if she is a blank.

[qwertj1]

IMA GONNA LICK YOU

[hanchiman]

Its amazing that Chris could say all these thaaangs without starting to crack up in front of the perp. I know I would. Hehe.

[HEH8D]

did you know i want to blank your blank untill you blank like a pig blank blank blank an astronaught blank blank cereal blank blank dinosaur blank blank untill you blank blank blank obama blank blank like a hot blank until you blank beyblades and yu-gi-oh cards on my blank and scream daddy untill i blank blank blank sarah jessica parker?

[PortugalGP]

... BLANK

[yashespatel]

it's only funny because he enunciates every word

[hilife717]

i mean its not funny no more

[hilife717]

lol

[todd8333]

Chris Hanson has a hard job, I would want to punch these men in the face when they show up.

[SuperStewcat]

I wouldn't mind if Chris said these to me lol

[TheMart0043]

I want to blank a young man, blank, blank, and blank.

[MikuHatsune10728]

15 people took this advice

[tomc8914]

i tried these, none worked.

[TacticalItalian]

Damn Chris Hansen is a pervert!

[WhiteRose226]

This made me laugh so hard I had tears streaming down my face.

[WhoaSnapItsAudrey]

Ohh Chris, I'd let you blank my blank while you blank my blank blank blank and blank

[UltimaHolyFlare]

Perverted Justice is full of closet pedophiles using this show as a front to gain trust of people so they can molest kids.

[WhiteRose226]

@UltimaHolyFlare And if really believe that you're not much smarter than the scumbags they bust.

[UltimaHolyFlare]

@WhiteRose226 You obviously are a PJ plant. They are a corrupt bunch of bastards. The founder of Perverted Justice was messing around with a teen girl who helped him set up a few people. WhiteRose? More like White Roll of toilet paper because you are full of shit.

[iwanaGoFast2010]

think i just got my new ring tone!

[SergentExtreme]

@7fires7trumpets Even though you're a troll, I'll take the bait and remind you the decoys are all over 18

[reivenlocke]

I bet het used these lines on the reporter he was caught cheating with.

Just goes to show you that when you're an American hero, you get a pussy surplus. Ask Tiger Woods.

[StormZephyr]

@reivenlocke

This is why American heroes should never get married.

[allisoncole08]

I wanna make you blank over and over.

[magd2579]

'wink, nod!'

love how he actually says 'laugh out loud'

[DXvsnWo1]

He can do anything he wants with my blank

[sansdeity420]

getting you out of your clothes is the best.

[chaosstarr]

blank your brains out

[ERTLPFM]

THERE IS NO 8:31

[wowpockopa]

Chris Hansen is after me... I know it... IM SCARED! I DONT WANNA TAKE A SEAT

[Peeks24]

Chris Hansen owns

[lurch321]

I'd say Chris has gotten more action than Hugh Hefner, Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley combined.

[Karami]

4:16 Well if you're going to have sex it might as well be with me.

4:30 HI!! I was cruising a chatroom, I started talking to your daughter. I asked her if I could have sex with her.

[murphyhurtme]

yeah, i have used this soundboard before too. great.

[friedchicken187]

Who wants my thaaaaang in their mouth?

Lol

[TheUltravioletLight]

*Is a Pedobear*

HA.

I ALREADY FOUND REBECCA BLACK AND 14 6TH GRADE CHEERLEADERS.

MWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

:{D

*Has a mustache by the way*

;D

[lvanhorn2]

lmfao the ending is priceless

[simplesandwichman]

I'm worried about the12 people who disliked this video...

[scr4pp7]

Oh Chris, I'd let you blank my blank while you blank my blank while blank blank blank goat blank.

[Maxpow33r]

you on birth control?

[Darth5Steel]

666

[nowerenowhere]

aahahahahah this is sick.. ew. xD

[jpete3027666]

I haven't laughed so hard in a long time, thanks!

[C4Dude3]

You can play with my PENIS lol

[SVWillmer]

I can't wait to fuck blank. I mean I'd like to blank you.

[talkisexpensive]

No hug for me?

[onearmedboxer2384]

ten people were the ones who heard take a seat

[xShazxZxX]

I love the way he says "Shower".

[sleepernaut]

"Baby, 15 can get me 20."

[manrayer88]

Chris Hansen is such an asshole

[codern]

@manrayer88 i agree! he should die

[gastro137]

Im Chris Hansen with dateline NBC I'm a homosexual

[lmo42387]

The 10 dislikes were on this show

[jjrichkid93]

DID U SAY THAT U WERE READY TO HAVE MY "THANG" IN UR MOUTH. STUPID FUNNY AS HELL!

[LAwrx03]

If this were an actual CD it would go platinum. My god this is absolute gold! :D

[andrewchrisgreen]

how did you get the audio for this? i'm wanting to do a similar project...do you have it on dvd?

[normhastingsmusic]

@andrewchrisgreen i would go to dvdvideosoft

and download the youtube to mp3 converter

[andrewchrisgreen]

how did you get the audio for this? i'm wanting to do a similar project...do you have it on dvd?

[loudubhai7]

even my granny wouldnt fall for dese! xD

[Xenosoo]

I'd like to blank your blank.

[redliberation]

"I'll be your bear and we bears like tasting honey!"

EPIC!

[DarkKetzerisch]

Featured on TV Tropes! =D

[fruitblood]

This helped me finally get the girl of my dreams. I saw her sitting down at the bar. At first, I didn't know what to say to her, then I remembered this video. So, after mustering up my courage, I made a B-line towards her, looked her in her deep blue eyes, then said:

"I carry a gun EVERYWHERE I go...."

[jasonwingrove1]

Can't breath, laughing too much!

[JLSealy2]

All blank and no blank makes blank a blank blank and in the end when he kills them all with that huge blank! C who gets it....

[PortugalGP]

My name is Chris Hansen. LAUGH OUT LOUD!

[irrmua]

lol. Do you like to make guys mown? you can make me mown. you can mown all you want

[Decimator81885]

LMAO!!!

[zoetherebel]

They way he reads them makes them that much more hilarious/creepy.

[Gino777]

I AM FIXED.

[Gino777]

I'm-a-gonna lick you.

[templecpa2002]

0:45 "I will gently......" --That was from Chris' personal collection.

[templecpa2002]

Blank my blank and blank you.

I'magonnalickyou.

[weiss4545]

"I might want to cut you a little, suck on your blood... LAUGH OUT LOUD!!!!!"

Omg so creepy...

"Blank my blank and blank you, that's English"

[snfvids]

LMAO!! check out my catch a predator vid!

[adj789]

I'd blank her blank with my blank

[Sn1P3LighT]

ROLF!!!!!!!

[MaxDrummr1]

I have a serious fetish for boots.

[Kevin01SH]

my THANG in your mouth

[njdevils17]

imma gonna lick you.

sounds like something super mario would say.

[CircusJaximus]

thank you chris hansen, now I can finally receive all the slangs for oral sex that I want

[Yukarividel]

LMFAO.

[66jesko]

blank my blank and BLANK YOU

[66jesko]

i cannot believe that i will blank your blank

[HubertHoratio]

You are so effing hot. I want to be your boyfriend if you will have me. I'm serious.

[kaciwhokaciyou]

3:28 OH MY GOSH HE SAYS HEHE

[Hardwyre]

I CANT CONTROL MY HORNY LEVEL!!!!

[ryan06105]

I can't believe that I'm actually thinking about blanking your blank.

[Sorrowisyourdemon]

Have you ever seen a blank?

Want to see mine?

Lol.

[911fever]

Imma gonna lick you. LOL!!!

[DroppingHalos]

hahaha!

"did you bring condoms?"

"i have chocolate condoms, i only have 2 left...i will use them for you."

[TheoneandonlyGTA]

I am fixed. xD

[blackkat7073]

9 people dont like the "thang" in their mouth. 

[DeceptaconTron]

9 people were told to take a seat

[codern]

@DeceptaconTron never heard that one before

[DeceptaconTron]

@codern neither have 36 other people

[VegeXP]

This is hilarious

[reivenlocke]

It's best not to lie, okay. Just tell me the truth.....YOU LIKE GETTING BLANKED IN THE BLANK?!

[BookingBossDC]

@reivenlocke that chris hanson is hilarious ! .. its best not to lie .... u like gettin blanked in your blank?

[Breakfastfan4life]

Hello, How are you doing? Can I tease and please your "blank" my tongue, and make you blank over and over? Simply Amazing.

[metalparasite]

Baby 15 can get me 20. LMFAO Priceless

[9416Andrew]

Did you say you wanted to have my THAAAANG in your mouth? I have played that line over and over for the last few minutes and now my sides hurt from laughing!

[FireypepperCP]

I did this at the office, and for some reason got a sexual harassment charge!?!

[talkisexpensive]

I wonder how many times he says blank..

[Zalis116]

"I just hope this isn't all too good to be true." Too bad it is too good to be true for all the To Catch A Predator victims.

[mimikawaii7386]

goddammit.. I like Chris and I know he's just quoting the pedos conversations but it's turning on to hear him say those things XD

[carlawon]

I CANT CONTROL MY HORNY LEVEL....ROFLMAO!

[159mychemicalromance]

time to try this on the ladies...

[courtneyandtyler2]

lmaooooo ...how big are your.....talking about the breasts.......haha that one was funny

[PKFlashBeta]

I carry a gun wherever I go? What?

[jcweights]

I wish these were ring tones!

[TruenoandLevin86]

Oh man I can't wait to hit the hottest night clubs and try out these lines!

[KyleHeresy]

"I have a serious fetish for boots"

"I'll be your bear . . and we bears like tasting honey"

"I might want to cut you a little . . suck on your blood "laugh outl loud" . . "

"Imma gunna lick you"

"You look like a cute guy but your a even cuter girl...."

"I want you to be my girlfriend first we can have sex then ill be your dad and take you out shopping"

[FightingSaintsWHA]

Ima gonna lick you!

[Colt2571]

Hahahahaha, this shit is hilarious

[iNNeViTable1]

"Baby, 15 can get me 20"

"So would you like to come over and watch a movie with me with your hand down my pants?"

"Blank My Blank & Blank You"

"Come On Over Get Naked & Walk Into The Kitchen"

"Will You Give A -...Slang For Oral Sex"

"I like sucking and being sucked"

I cried watching this...even thou its wrong, this is mad funny.

[TheIndustrialrocker]

I want to blank your brains out.

[perfectbrunnetdoll]

lmao 

[mrblanck1]

4:20 mario voice lol

[limeadelipsmackerr]

thanks for posting this!!!! :D

[HubertHoratio]

Whoever went to all the trouble of compiling this video is a hero

[776football]

Laugh out Loud

[N38spl]

roflmao! "I am Fixed"

[rollomf1]

You almost wouldn't believe that an online predator would say some of these to a young girl. I had three that I thought were damn funny.

1. Baby, 15 can get me 20.

2. He says to the guy, No hug for me?

3. I'm saying this one to the girlfriend: So would you like to come over and watch a movie with me with your hand down my pants?

LOL.

[TheDarkNomad]

This two might work, since the context is similar: "I cannot believe that I am actually thinking about blanking your blank; have you ever asked somebody to blank you off ?"

lolz

[TheHawkdaddy]

15 can give me 20

[themovingsand]

I'M FIXED

[Agent1W]

"You know how to ride...you like doggiiiiiiiiiie?" The creepy way Mr. Hansen alters his pitch would only remind you if he's a predator himself... O_O

[caligirl3662]

"Did you say your are ready to have my THAAANNNG in your mouth?" L O L

[9416Andrew]

@caligirl3662 my favorite line out of all of them!

[FiZZBANGWHAM]

"I have a serious fetish for boots"

[yukie4194]

boots.

[wackymac28]

i know this guy at my church he looks just like chris hansen and talks like him and they both have the same manerisms

[greed13X]

"You hot mommie? Let's make love." Personal Favorite. lol

[nhoverhaulinfan2]

Chris is creepy too.

[grafdelafergrafdelaf]

Would you blank my blank. I'll make you blank over and ovr again. ROFL

[cubfan531]

"I'm honored to be considered the candidate for your first time."

WHO THE FUCK TALKS LIKE THAT?!

[beefdog]

@cubfan531 i do lmao. i cannot control my horny level lmao

[ForgottenMemoriesFM]

@cubfan531 PREDATORS =0

[KeepItGayStageNazi]

i have a boot fetish

[ForgottenMemoriesFM]

blankity blank blank! haha my friend and i couldnt resist ripping audio from this and using the horny level line mixed in with the dbz joke over 9000 xD it actually turned out pretty funny

[shannonshallbemine]

"I am fixed"

[genericusername337]

fuck i want chris so badly

[LoomaMounten]

Thats a great pickup line-- I'll just walk up to some fine, busty blonde in the mall and say:

"I can't control my horny level. I want to _____ your brains out."

I think it will work :D

[tubinal07]

@LoomaMounten let me know how it goes!!! LOL

[hamsterama]

This video was perfectly edited and executed. I laughed quite a bit!

[Arianyr]

"'I have only 2 chocolate flavored condoms left but I'll use them for you"

Soooo romantic!

[HubertHoratio]

I'm twelve years old and what is this?

[neonfox3]

@HubertHoratio the guy you should talk to if any strange men want to be with you.

[arandomperson240]

i'll remember these next time I go to the bar...

[macmule]

Remember the guy who wanted to make a cat lick the girl? And the one who brought his son? Fucking creeps man

[Gary500]

i am a straight man but i cud listen to his voice all day, its so frikin cool

[younghippo]

I like Rape - Chris Hansen

[shannonshallbemine]

@younghippo The Can_I_Rape_You_Anally guy was the best rofl

[EdelSeriman]

The fact there are no pauses, and it's hard to tell where one line ends and another begins really adds to the hilarity

[TVsFrank81]

@EdelSeriman The way he says it all in an anchorman voice is what really makes me laugh.

Especially "I just hope this isn't too good to be true hee hee."

[busterbone]

the guy with the boot fetish needs a boot to the butt

[busterbone]

@busterbone better yet-a boot to the groin! It's freaky these sick creeps could be living nearby. This skit is very disturbing, but strangely still funny nonetheless.

[JackCoxx]

You hot Mami let's make love.

[vdven]

I've got to go to a bonfire; you've got a nice ass

[XXGB34]

so you just woke up this morning and said im going to walk in with a 12 pack of beer this is just something you thunk up today..you are so.....fn hot.. i want to be your boyfriend if you will have me im serious

[JackCoxx]

You ready to have my thang in your mouth?

[Jamalalmajid]

1:56, 2:16 ,

[MrJakeHyepock]

Laugh Out Loud.

[xjvzHD]

lolololol

[SgtSmitty007]

"ima gonna lick you"