Monty Python Killer Joke

[Da12kL0rD]

3:39 a red pick up truck drives past in the background

[brabra6106]

thank you 9gag for bringing me here

[ticki23]

all i understand is "wenn" "ich" and "schlottermeier"

[Kaiser00Wilhelm]

Jokes of this caliber were banned by the Geneva Convention of 1949. The use of any joke of level 5 or higher on Strausberg's Hilarity Scale has been declared a war crime.

[JohnFrienDOH]

gimme that joke ! i'll read it !

[Jakpeacemaker]

Nazi tickle torcher is NO laughing matter...

[artistwithouttalent]

Why didn't they just reverse-reverse engineer the killer joke? The British proved it could be translated into German, so why couldn't the Germans translate it back into English? And another thing, don't you think with all the people in the army, one would be proficient in both German and English?

[Pats59Rule]

@artistwithouttalent Because all the Germans who heard it died immediately so no one in the German high command would have had the opportunity to hear it.

Oh, and one other thing...IT'S A FREAKING COMEDY SKETCH! Don't analyze it - just enjoy it.

[artistwithouttalent]

@Pats59Rule The same could be said of the British. They had to get it into one word per person.

Your second point is still valid.

[ESELkoek]

@artistwithouttalent The Germans didn't know the joke. Every one it was told to died

[artistwithouttalent]

@ESELkoek I know, but the British had to translate it from a single page into German; the Germans could have done the same.

[ESELkoek]

@artistwithouttalent But how would they know it was the joke until they read it? And how could they get there hands on it anyway?

[blackhawkET]

am i the only one who sees the red car round 3:40??

[Xynth0]

Instant heartburn, stroke followed by coma and death!

[ThisFilmSucks1]

If the piece of now is git and Slotermeyer? Yes! Beiherhund the or the Flipperwaldt gersput

[artistwithouttalent]

@ThisFilmSucks1 thank you......

[dagorlad3]

@ThisFilmSucks1 pfffft! I think I just had a heart attack you maniac. Can't breath.

[potsocket1]

does anyone wha the joke is in german?

[werewolf327]

@potsocket1 It's gibberish.

[123thenoobable]

at 3:40 you can see a car common in the 80s

[BklynBruzer]

@123thenoobable And yet the show wasn't on in the 80s.

[TheTechnoToast]

13 people are no fun

[firefly951995]

whats that tune at the very end

[jackhillty1]

my dog has no nose

how does he smell?

awful

[KnightElemental]

This is great! Thanks for posting!

[Zer0gravityKwstas]

To a German speaker, the joke contains a number of nonsense words, and does not translate into anything meaningful. source: Wikipedia

[kathrynsmith724]

Eifersucht ist ein Leidenschaft die, mit Eifer sucht, was Leiden schaft!

[DOOMROCK438]

it's only 2 worlds over and over. ECKY THUMP

[theluigiteam543]

What a wonderful way to die!

[wildgoosespeeder]

I almost died laughing at this sketch.

[MissKateSamuels]

Whoever knows German, don't watch this! YOU WILL SURELY DIE! XDDD

[AndyB1286]

I'm not a Monty Python fan, but this sketch is quite good. I'm British but I live in Berlin, I wonder what the Germans would think of this.  Monty Python is known out here, but since I'm not a fan I wouldn't know how well-known this sketch is...

[machias88]

best python sketch imho.

[condedohko]

13 people didn't understand the killer joke

[11439749]

日本語をネタにした殺人ジョークを作ったらどうなるでしょう?

[JazzThrowOut]

13 persons are deaf Germans...

[JazzThrowOut]

"...60'000 times more powerful than Britain's pre-war joke". -Best part of the whole skit and most people don't even get it...

[mmikeironhorse]

13 people looked at two words and had to be sent to the hospital.

[kryten77]

XD GOLD!

[deathman1021]

I put it into Google Translator and below i will write what came out, i didnt read it or hear it i just copied and pasted with my eyes closed so if you wish to live look away:

If the Nunstück git and Slotermeyer? Yes! Or the Beiherhund the Flipperwaldt gersput

[therealshlong]

Good one, cos the Germans arn't funny!

[PaKierdorfMUSIC]

@therealshlong youre right ... more or less ... the germans just have another kind of humor ...

[therealshlong]

@PaKierdorfMUSIC Yes, true, i think they laugh at cruelty, so cruelty is a kind of humour i suppose????

[AJUKking]

They should make an Afghanistan version.

[daftpunkfan2010]

They had to make it nonsense or the german speaking audience would have died

[JustCallMeHollywood]

Juli the 8th?

[rohitsay89]

what is the joke......

[deathman1021]

@rohitsay89 Google translator says it is (and i recomend not reading this if you wish to live)

If the Nunstück git and Slotermeyer? Yes! Or the Beiherhund the Flipperwaldt gersput

[SpiderXxPirate]

I love the bright red truck in the background @3:41

Very WW2 xD

[OffWIthTheRain]

@SpiderXxPirate they did have red paint in WW2

[ikerules241]

13 people never had a childhood.

[WeaslysWizardWeezes]

what is the joke??

[morggehan]

@WeaslysWizardWeezes "Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput"

It's just noncense German.

[WeaslysWizardWeezes]

@morggehan oh that makes sence

sounds like a typical monty python joke

[morggehan]

@WeaslysWizardWeezes ...true...

[SpiderXxPirate]

@WeaslysWizardWeezes We coul tell you, but we'd have to kill you xD

[mtnetsurfer]

@SpiderXxPirate He'd be dead anyway. Assuming he knows German of course.

[Diandredofus]

@SpiderXxPirate Noo, if you know it you are a dead man :D

[toddshere]

OMG I think i just made the killer joke vid on my channel HELP! Im serious!ive laughed for about20 minutes solid and cant stop !!!omg i cant even whatch this like i wanted, worried about a cardiac !!!!HAHAHAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAAA­!!! help and see for yourself WHO FA _____ vid@#%^help !!!!!!

[Ariton99993]

13 people died and hit the dislikebutton while falling with their head on the mouse. Don't try this at home

[windscare21]

I spent 2 weeks in the hospital because of the german joke, all I heard was:

There were zwei peanuts, walking down the straße

[analogforever1960]

Thats not funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[LethalAxis]

@analogforever1960 and you have a sense of humor

[analogforever1960]

@LethalAxis I'm sorry, I will explain - my favorite part at 7:47: "Thats not funny!" I've enjoyed MP for many years!

[ducmedic]

John Cleese at 7:47....LOL

[amiablerecluse01]

Love the history joke at 5:22 :)

[herogna]

This joke is the real translated one: WARNING!!!!

Guess what, chicken butt.

[pschaef]

Der ver zwei peanuts, valking down der strasse, and von vas... assaulted! peanut. Haha.........Classic!

[syrupj]

12 pepole died laughing

[SEALboy171]

my dogs got no nose! how does he smell? awful!

[MrPennyworth007]

can somebody tell me the real joke?

[syrupj]

@MrPennyworth007 the joke is my dog has no nose. how dus it smell? afull

[PositronBG]

There were zwei peanuts walking down der straße... und one was assaulted... peanut uhuhuhuhu

ahahahhahahahahahhahaha

[Cazaq]

@PositronBG There where two peanuts walking down the street , and one was a salted , peanut.

[OgnarPliskin]

@PositronBG lmao germans have no sense of humor

[tsungjen]

Wenn ist das Nunstruck git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!!!!!

[ytvoice1]

@tsungjen Please, are you trying to kill me?

I am just happy I so not understand that much German!

Now I have to watch the political debate channel for at least two hours just to make sure not to die of laughter:(

[Teleoceras]

One of the greatest sketches from Monty Python's Flying Circus! SALUTE!

[thejimmyzshow]

The joke has been finally translated. WARNING: Do not read further or you too may DIE LAUGHING. This is no joke!

Translated, the joke reads, "Mr. Obama said "I am absolutely committed to fiscal responsibility."

[kingbobnjoe]

@thejimmyzshow

That's pretty funny.

[thejimmyzshow]

Ernest Scribbler. 

[thejimmyzshow]

My favorite bit is 5:54

[liekkis]

If there really was a joke this good, would you read it? Could you overcome the curiosity.

[thewind74]

5:25 is pretty awesome

[Alexandros1294]

ROFL at 1:31

[DusItOffendsUyeh]

"1945 Peace broke out"

[ReddoFreddo]

If the Nunstruck(?) git(?) and Slotermeyer(?)? Yes! Or the Beiherhund(?) the Flipperwaldt(?) gersput(?)!

Nederlands: Als de Nunstruck(?) git(?) en Slotemeyer(?)? Ja! Of de Beiherhund(?) de Flipperwaldt(?) gersput(?)! Google translat ha crasht translating this I think

[LoveTimeLord]

@ReddoFreddo None of that is German. Only like two or three words are accualy German. lol

[HyppoStudios]

When I die, I want to die laughing ^^

[MyOnlyLoveMusic]

awesome

[Clubbaseal]

Ah, a pun. Puns don't translate. It's a meta-joke.

[xXxYAKIxXx]

I'm from germany. Although the german version of the joke doesn't make any sense, the skech is funny as hell.

[PositronBG]

There were zwei peanuts walking down der Straße und one was assaulted... peanut. u-hu-hu-hu-hu-hu-hu... :D:D:D

[brittanythebeast]

i love Michael Palin's laugh @ 7:18

[TheWonderfulWombat]

I can speak German, I will transla-AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *thump*

[Buckskinhorizon]

It's kind of annoying how they don't actually tell the joke. If someone here speaks German, can you tell me the joke?

[brittanythebeast]

@Buckskinhorizon i understand german, and the joke is just a bunch of random non-sense words

[hippocampuszosterae]

@Buckskinhorizon It's mainly just gibberish words - - meaningless.

[thegreatblandini1]

i translated half a word and ended up on crutches.

[DoubleGlog]

What's the joke the german scientist told the general?

[sixthsensedirectory]

german version:

Wenn ist das Nunstruck git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

lol

[JTGaming]

When the first time they told it to the Germans nothing wud happen cos they have no sense of humor!

[terminaldeity]

From what I've gathered, they purposefully made it gibberish so that it couldn't be translated. BUT, what if it's a code o,O? Any cryptographers in the house?

[tomniggah]

at least they die happily

[icaughtfire93]

LOLOLOL at the campy nazi officers!!

[CSSProductions100]

I trasilated it on Babel fish. It is,Those is one Kinnerhunder and two Mackel over and you're welcome is the miracle house speak they. ' Nein' speak the Mr. ' Is more borger aufern with zveitingen'.

[kissmewhereyoucan76]

This piggybanks on the worldmap and Churchill in his victory pose in the background at the beginning scene

Phantastic!

The Pythons are still unbeatable!

[Fletzherdk]

7:28 aint that the guy from Fawlty Towers? :D

[RyuunosukeKurosawa96]

"How do you make a Nazi cross?" "I don't know. How do you make a Nazi cross?" "Tread on his corns!" (stomps on Nazi's foot) "Gott im himmel! That's not funny!"

[sweetdanecook12345]

in 1945 peace broke out lol

2 peanuts were walking down the street and one was assaulted lol penury

[ownagepie24]

@sweetdanecook12345 You've got it wrong. 2 peanuts were walking down the street and one was a salted... peanut.

[vaitripleseven]

Immortal!

[azulbluekool10]

OMG MY FAVE PART/JOKE EVER!!! 5:23

[moonyKristy]

Die ist ein Kinnerhunder und zwei Mackel über und der bitte schön ist den Wunderhaus sprechensie. 'Nein' sprecht der Herren 'Ist aufern borger mit zveitingen'.

...don't you just love Eric Idle's German pronunciation? :D

[romanspartan199]

Wenn ist das Nunstruck git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput! is the joke... ROFL... *DEAD*

[falloutzulu]

here is the transation for the joke. When is the now-piece (git) and (Slotermeyer)? Yes! (Beiher)dog that or the pinball wood (gersput)!" its just bunch of german words they put together.

[vccstudents]

I want to know the YOKE!

John Cleese's facial reactions kill me!

[SuzieIsSleepy]

My dogs got no nose!

How does he smell?

Awful.

[Juvissimo]

sorry, maybe i'm missing something, but that's not funny -.-

[greatscot24]

not but it's silly.

=

monty python

[kissmewhereyoucan76]

The V-Joke is a allution to Hitlers Missiles V1 and V2 (Vergeltungswaffe (revenge weapon)), the so called Wunderwaffen (miracle weapons).

All in all the were a flop.

[cky2250]

i dont know how they come up with all the skits but most are stupid but very entertaining

[Hiddenuser3000]

Great!

[FrakkinSaulTigh]

I'm from Germany too and I just understand "gib uns Slotermeyer" (give us Slotermeyer!). The rest of the deadly joke is total rubbish. It just sounds german. LOL

[Kotori32]

According to Wiki the exact phrasing is; "Wenn ist das Nunstruck git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!".

[Ekcyboo]

It's because they scrambled it for the show, so nobody would die while watching the show.

[mrdumbname]

what......the......fook?

[chikapiss]

what's the translation to english?

[noobowner2]

There isn't one

[balortanarri]

They scrambled the german words of the joke so that the german-audience wouldn't die laughing while watching this sketch.

[lpnlthc]

I understand German too but the joke isn't even in german! It just doesn't mean anything at all, but it sounds german ^^

[onkelschnix]

I´m German... but i don´t understand it. Sorry but i think it doesn´t make sense at all

[Dzoete]

Probably the funniest joke ever this one :-)

[AgentCROCODILE]

@4:16 = The joke being told to the enemy in 1944

@8:56 = The enemy retaliates with a joke of their own in 1942

[Tommygun1135]

That's an interesting mistake.

[vigo894]

If you're German, or Austrian, cover your ears when they say the joke in German.

Please, for the love of God, cover your ears.

[basserase]

Poor Mr. Chamberlain; Britain's greatest prewar joke.

[jakepoop333]

That's how I would want to die. "Comedy struck..." XD

[Bacteriod]

I managed to decipher 3 words and was in a wheelchair for several months, then traction.

[Phlegmbanger]

LMFAO That was brilliannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn­nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn­nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn­nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn­nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn­nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn­nnnnnnnn

[mrdumbname]

......you managed to forget the "t" in brilliant.....brilliant you are

[Phlegmbanger]

let me finish ....

[Phlegmbanger]

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn­nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn­nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn­nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn­nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnt

[brotherscro]

LOL i saw this video yesterday in game "Battlefield 2" xD

[trainlover479]

how can u see it in a game?

[CrystalHunter1989]

Hilarious, as always.

[Foaster]

It's not German...

Most of those words aren't slightly german...

The only REAL german words are "Ja" und "wenn" ;)

It's like Uter from the Simpsons... not really a german name... just sounds like it for a brit / american.

[0Wigly0]

we all know that

[Dodo251]

5:40 LOL

[zimrocks13]

This joke was used by the joker, I'm sure.

I'm talking about the comic one, not the Dark knight one

[acerb45666555]

3:56......Chapman created the "General" because his father was exactly like that he said! very spit and polish! .."right then lads! carry on!"

[googlyeyes34]

halrious, monty python has done it again. could someone please please please try to translate that as best they could, i know i'm probably not the only one who wants to know what it is although i doubt it's an actual joke

[Karanagi]

I'm afraid only a few of the words in the sentence are actually german.... is what most german people will most likely tell you. They are liars however and probably don't even speak german, for if they could understand the joke, then how could they still be alive?

[Colibri261]

My German is not good but i´m afraid it´s only a mix of random words, or maybe my german is so bad that i can´t translate the joke 'cause why would i still be alive?

[SpreadDaFonk]

What? since when do nazis laugh???

i just love mp! especially their jokes about germans XD

[2109917162]

soooooooo hilarius when the peanut joke is toled especialy when he sais ...peanut(with the pause and everything) and the laughter is so good to

[flaminia5]

i wanted to post a comment, but laughed tears

[kissmewhereyoucan76]

Zat´s not funny bloody roastbeef eaters!

[kxtinanafi219]

PYTHON WAS THE BEST COMEDY SHOW EVER

[hawkman8706]

There were 2 peanuts walking down a street, and one of them was assaulted.....................­.. Peanut.

[sanfop11]

I tell that joke all the time and everybody laughs especially when there is a long space between assaulted and peanut

[veerleke]

Haha i love it when they take a joke too far!

[tsukune007]

what does the joke translate to in english?

[Montymio]

nothing. its random gibberish made to sound german.

[Shiranaru]

Yeah, you couldn't really translate it in that manner. German and english are too different

[Montymio]

Actually, german and english are quite similar. The Angles (old germans) camee to the uk and decided to seperate from germany and created Angleand. now known as England.

[deppfan85]

But the problem is, if you were to literally translate it out word by word into German, then put it all together, it wouldn't necessarily make sense. The praising would become different, and possibly take away it's killing effect. But still, it's just a scetch, so let's run with it anyways.

Example is the Old English which is seen in Beowulf.