Summary of the Whole Entire Bible in 3 seconds

[GundamMeisterJ]

"Everyone died. T-"

[ChannelsAreGay]

OOOOOOWWWW the STUPIDITY on this comment thread... IT BUUUUURNS

[KittySpears500]

Sounds more like the summary of Homestuck

[IridescentDoom]

Thos isnt the summary of the bible...it's the summary of the apocalypse. :D

[musiclegend01]

LOLZZZZZZ

[undertaker49999]

IT SAYS SECONDS NOT WORDS! Thumbs up so people can see this!

[screenON14]

HEY EVERYONE LISTEN UP

IMMA DISAGREE OF YOUR VIDEO

SO IMMA FLAME IT

CUZ I HAZ OPINIONS

AND I HAZ TO SHOW THEM TO EVERY HUMAN EVER

BECUZ IMMA SPECIAL

[theZinator]

SPOILER:

Everyone dies.

[sebastiannoi02]

3 seconds

[Shibbidge111]

I found this hilarious , it wasn't just a cheap shot like family guy , this is legit humor

[Shibbidge111]

Atheists rely on certainty , Religious guys rely on faith. Nuff said.

[TheDinosaur900]

Go to hell! And tell the Devil, I'm coming for him NEXT!

[Mysturji]

"Christians don't have funny beliefs, that's mainly only cults (mormonism, scientology, etc.) and, well, atheism. that's all i can really think of."

Yeah, right.

First: Atheism is a cult like bald is a hair colour.

Second: What's the difference between a cult and a religion? A few million followers, a couple of hundred years.

The Abrahamic religions are all based on the same death cult.

[iamwhitelivewithit]

I love how everyone gets serious over a spongebob joke...

[RANTOHOLICOFFICAL]

apparently they invented this new metric system where words and seconds are the same thing? what will they think of next?

[mRide5236]

Actually, not EVERYONE dies. And don't make fun of Christianity and we won't make fun of yours.

[ultranimefan]

@mRide5236 Our what? Atheists don't HAVE a god.

[jasminepeterson11]

@mRide5236 "dont make fun of cristianity and we wont make fun of yours"

your what? LOL

[chaselovedad]

@mRide5236 our what? our.... Giant flying spaghetti monster?

[chavezery09]

I'm Christian and I found this to be pretty funny. Anyone bitching about this needs to shut up, it's just a joke. I mean, look at the bright side, the uploader didn't bash all of religion like Family Guy does on a semi-regular basis, they just made a simple joke regarding the bible (which happens to be true).

[uknownada]

I am a Christian, Catholic even, and I found this to be quite funny. Because it's true, haven't you ever read the Book of Revelations? EVERYONE DIES!

This isn't like Family Guy or George Carlin on the Bible, this is legit humor. This guy isn't insulting, making fun, or disrespecting anything or anyone. He's just making a quirky joke.

You people need to lighten up. I'm Catholic, I intend to stay Catholic, and I laughed at this.

[Pikminfreak1000000]

Geeze people. Lighten up on the comments about "PEOPLE DON'T WANT THEIR RELIGIONS TO BE MADE FUN OF, DERP, DERP, DERPITY DERP" comments. This was obviously a joke, don't take it so seriously as an offence. And also, the title says SECONDS, not WORDS.

[Mysturji]

People who don't want their beliefs laughed at shouldn't have such funny beliefs.

[wUnDeRAOT]

@Mysturji like mormons or scientologists? [insert link to southpark episodes here]

[chavezery09]

@Mysturji Christians don't have funny beliefs, that's mainly only cults (mormonism, scientology, etc.) and, well, atheism. that's all i can really think of.

[Mysturji]

@chavezery09 When I was a child, I was told that a magic man in the sky temporarily murdered his own son so that he would be able to forgive me for being descended from a mud-man and a rib-woman who were told by a talking snake to eat a magic apple from a tree that the magic man put in their garden and lied saying it would kill them if they ate it, but it just taught them right from wrong, so they had to be punished for eating it even though they didn't know it was wrong.

Makes perfect sense.

[chavezery09]

@Mysturji >magic man

God's not a man, guy. You apparently don't understand Christianity that well.

I didn't call Atheism a cult, I was calling it stupid. Also, the difference between a cult and a religion is the fact that anyone that questions a cult will get killed, or that people will never be allowed to leave a cult until they do something ridiculous (i.e. in Mormonism, you need to kill someone/something else insane).

[bbbbbbbbrrrrrrrriiii]

@chavezery09 You believe in a book written years ago by hairy desert dwellers squating in tents with voices in their heads telling them what to write. An Atheist such as myself believes in science which has been proven or can be proven. Oh, and did I mention that according to what you describe a cult as, Christianity was a cult seeing how if you suggested that the universe didn't revolve around the earth you were killed for questioning the church.

[chavezery09]

@bbbbbbbbrrrrrrrriiii >dumbest name i think i've ever seen

>I BELIEVE SCIENCE

I believe science too, but I don't let it lead my life. Also, science can't explain everything (i.e. paranormal, occult, etc.). And Christianity used to kill people for questioning the church, but doesn't anymore (like Scientology currently does).

If you're really going to bitch at anyone, bitch at those fucktards for believing in some random alien guy in space that caused humanity's problems. (inb4 comment deleted)

[SONYandMICROSOFT]

@chavezery09 The funniest part is that believing in some random alien guy has just as much credibility than any other religion. None.

Also have you ever heard about the preternatural theory? It means that nothing is supernatural and when something has not been explained yet will be later explained once science progresses. Things like rainbows, lightning and epilepsy were once just as unexplainable as the "paranormal" Also christian terrorism still exists.

[chavezery09]

@SONYandMICROSOFT Christian terrorism, not Christians killing off a ton of people for questioning the church. Christian terrorists usually only kill people like abortionists :U (or at lease the ones I've heard of)

Sorry, but science will never be able to explain the occult or the paranormal; many people have already tried and failed horribly at doing so in a way that is still feasible.

Also, Scientology was made by science fiction writer.

I've done a bit of research on religions, and it (cont'd)

[chavezery09]

@SONYandMICROSOFT (cont'd) seems that the only religion that can't provide any proof or evidence for itself is atheism, while Christianity seems the most reasonable of religions.

Sorry person, atheism just can't win.

[SONYandMICROSOFT]

@chavezery09 Wait you're calling atheism a religion? Atheism is based on evolution which is now an accepted fact in society and the bing bang theory which has also alot of evidence behind it. Science may not know everything in the world but the different scientists, evolutionists and astrologists all have enough evidence on their own to dismiss any kind of religion.

[chavezery09]

@SONYandMICROSOFT MICROevolution is an accepted fact in society (how animals adapt to their environment), abiogenesis/macroevolution (apes to humans, etc.) has been proven wrong on quite a few occasions. I'm not going to completely disregard the big bang, as it does have quite a bit proof behind it, but I don't necessarily believe it. You also can't prove a negative (i.e. there is NO God), you can only prove positives (i.e. there IS a God).

Also, to your second comment, what?

[Enlightenedopinion92]

@SONYandMICROSOFT What? Atheism is based on the fact that theists haven't met their burden of proof, not evolution. Also, why are we arguing on a 3 second long Spongebob clip?

[SONYandMICROSOFT]

@chavezery09 Also its a fact that faith and religion can result into suicide, delusion, confusion, intolerance, ignorance, increased fear, spite, anger, homophobia, paranoia, racism, sexism, superiority complexes, inferiority complexes and an early stage of schizophrenia.

[choi4816]

@Mysturji Wasn't it a magic mango? A perfectly ripe mango is very hard to resist.

[XAVIER3P0]

Thanks for the Spoilers!

[brookemiller345]

Lol :D

[kittykat7201]

Mine would be " its pretty long"

[ATY9Productions]

if the christians watching this think THIS is blasphemy... WATCH FAMILY GUY...

stop complaining...

[Red01999]

Two words everyone is one word and how dare u make fun of Christians

[SheerSniper7]

@Red01999 lets face it, its kinda true

[ScrewLimbBizkit]

@Red01999

um

"words" and "seconds" don't mean the same thing

the saddest part is you're like the 7th person to make this comment

[KiraKirin]

@ScrewLimbBizkit I wan to be the 8th. "Everyone" is one word, u dumbass! =D

[Stealthvsberserker]

@ScrewLimbBizkit wow a video made 2 be funny and now people are getting pissed of at u thats not right

[Justwantahover]

@Red01999 They reckon (Aarons stick turning into a snake) is science. How can I not laugh at them?

[aBlindMoron]

@Red01999 You're so fucking stupid that it's funny to me.

Also you're 13 years old.

[zombiemurloc]

@Red01999 How dare he?

It's kind of hard to not make fun of them.

[ThanatosZain]

@Red01999 i have found it infinitly tiresome arguing with you people so i will put this in simple, argumentative terms: your religion is not all knowing, no matter how often, loudly, or publicly you, or anyone else claim, recite, or argue the subject will change that,all religion has its flaws; the universal one being that it creates conflict.

nothing in this world wil ever be perfect, least of all religion (closely followed by humanity itself). i have spoken. your response will be ignored.

[couggarfan31]

@Red01999 lmao Im christan and I thought this was funny. your obviously a weird christan or not one at all

[Anthony13USA]

@Red01999 Why should you care if we make fun of you if your so sure that your god is real? Thats like getting mad when you're laughed at when you say 2+2=4. Only difference is 2+2 does actually =4. The evidence though, for "your" god is seriously lacking and we have no reason to believe he is real. Facts are not determined by faith, one book, and "personal experience."

[chaselovedad]

@Red01999 I HAVE ONE THING TO SAY TO YOU, SIR. derp.

[redauir]

Related Videos : WHATS GOOD NIGGA

...

thank you internet.

[edcellwarrior]

Would have been better with the "the end"

[mcjason11]

Don't disrespect Jesus and the bible ya black-penis sucker!

[dropDDea]

Everyone is one word ass hat

[spercatz]

do you even know what a bible is

[stevestop10]

That was 2 words you dumb black asshole. 

[ScrewLimbBizkit]

@stevestop10

it..says.....seconds.......

[lookimhxc]

@ScrewLimbBizkit rly bro its seconds

[Netaro1000]

@stevestop10 It says: SECONDS! You dumb black moutherfucker!

[iceman1447]

Don't disrespect Jesus n the bible

[DeviledEgginator]

Technically, this is right...

Read Revelation. It pretty much says that everyone dies. Except for 144,000 male Jewish virgins. They get the front row seats to eternal paradise. Everyone else gets evicted for even the most minor of sins and forced to burn in Hell for all eternity.

Oh, and, 666? That's not Satan. That's The Beast. Also common knowledge to anyone who actually read Revelation and read into it.

[superjoshrobinson]

religous debate in 3.. 2... 1.......

[TheSletrab]

except Jesus!!!

[yellowstar234]

@TheSletrab yup <3

[evenfall369]

This is by some stretch of logic related to ponies.

[Goltork2]

ō-ō

Does not approve.

[MyChainsAreGone7777]

This is very stupid. John 10:10 "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." Everyone died? I don't think so. John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." Its about life not death!

[DeuceyDee]

@MyChainsAreGone7777 But what about those who don't believe in him? Isn't it a LITTLE harsh to be setting such a condition on a matter as serious as life or death?

[MyChainsAreGone7777]

@DeuceyDee Well it is not something to be taken half heatedly, for it is indeed very serious and if it gets you thinking about where you will get eternity, then God bless you! (mean that). Its not harsh, its reality. Many have been martyrs for Jesus, many died because of their belief in Jesus, last week in India someones bible was burnt and so was their face, the woman survived, and she kept whats left of her burn't bible, and she still smiles! God bless you brother!

[DeuceyDee]

@MyChainsAreGone7777 Adolf Hitler was a person who MOST DEFINITELY existed, delivered his own message DIRECTLY to the people, and promised something as FATHOMABLE as the restoration of his country, and he motivated millions to join him in a cause that is unarguably wrong. How can you expect skeptics to trust an appeal so extreme, when something much more credible has had a negative impact?

[DeuceyDee]

@MyChainsAreGone7777 Also, those who believe in God are generally happier in demeanor, and this increases their chances of making good decisions, which in turn contributes to good luck, or "God's blessing". Those who do NOT believe in God are often more aware of the harsher truths of the world, so they are more miserable, so they are more likely to make bad choices, so they will more likely end up with bad luck, or "God's punishment". It's all in the coincidence of choice and circumstance.

[ThompsonRebecca]

not everyone. Jesus Christ is still living today!

[able2ful1]

@ThompsonRebecca dude, it's just a parody, though i agree with you.

[TheTyrell415]

@ThompsonRebecca thumbs up ! :)

[collector1101]

ummmmmmmmmmmmm that's 2 words.

[TACOSAREEVIL]

You spoiled the ending for me.

Great job man.

[rrpreteen]

If you read the bible. You wouldn't say that.

but everyone WILL DIIIIIIIE -: D XS

[yugioh5432]

man you ruined the ending

[Herpderppsyduck]

JOKES. GET THEM. Why do you people have to argue on these damned things so often?

[ranelproductions]

Or a Michael Bay movie

[MegaZachman123]

@ranelproductions fail

[nachosNapples]

Lolz all my atheist friends know more about religion than I do!

[darkaz2]

Basically,the message of religion:you shall love everyone,but you shall hate people that have differents or no belief,you shall despise womens,and all of this is right because its like that.eeyup,religion is the worst thing that ever happend to the world.i'll even say:thats why we can't have nice things.

[Furfurfur2001]

I nevered read a Bible

[Jatwas]

"Whole entire"? Seems an entire waste of a word.

[chicarbiomed]

lmao... makes me laugh every time... I am ashamed of myself for being so easily amused.

[galefeathermanshow]

thumbs up if ur an athiest

[ScrewLimbBizkit]

I like to think that Lil Wayne is the type of guy who poops naked.

[exposer1997]

@ScrewLimbBizkit no.

[rainbowpantsrock]

Very true

[akaviri001]

@allymich143 No it isnt. It can suck ma balls Mr Garrison :P

[wwedisturbedfan]

god says its time to die? murderer!!!

[ItsThijsbitch]

Sound like a summary of Game of Thrones to me

[FusRoDalek]

...Eeeeyup. Pretty much.

[DeuceyDee]

>The Devil, who is evil, doesn't kill anyone

>God, who is good, commits murder and genocide

You can't explain that.

[chicarbiomed]

@DeuceyDee Well if we use the bible, the devil did kill 10...that Yahweh guy got a count easily over 2mil... I'm not saying you're wrong because I do believe 10 vs 2,000,000+... I believe we can write that off as practically meaningless, especially taking into account that god kills people with natural disasters any time he feels like it.

[blackestheartever]

You don't say????

[arousedgrandma]

Thanks for the spoilers ass hole.

[MrMrannoying]

should have ended it at the end when he says the end

[Diablodave363isawsum]

Elijah never died...

[pavlovich53]

Even my hardcore Christian roommate found this funny

[HaiImJohnJr]

One day religious people will understand they are fucking stupid.

[werty2238]

@allymich143 the bible,bah i use i science books for good usage

[XxxWallsOfJericho2Xx]

@allymich143 You're a retard.

That is all.

[spaceflye]

I'm Catholic and all, but I still found this funny.

[purplemonkey123211]

I read the bible once and it is kinda like that!

[TheQuest2010]

False, both Enoch and Elijah were brought into heaven before death.

[187BlackWolf]

jeez shut up and laugh!

[Crumpfan11]

The best part about this is that its true. REVELATIONS

[wolfpackr552]

I'm a practing, believing Catholic and I have watched this more times than I can count. This is hilarious. People oughta lighten up! It's just a 3 second video! Although it should be called "Summary of the Old Testament." Now THAT'S where everyone died :)

[parakeetman22]

@allymich143 YO dawg iz so cull to typ lyke dis aint it, it almost if ima nygguh or somfin.

[trainmaster555]

Everyone died! TH-

[IBiteTheHandThatFed]

@allymich143 Yes, I have read the bible. What this video shows is pretty spot on. The bible is used for brainwashing sheep into believing their going to burn in hell for not believing in some Jewish zombie. Its so full of contradictory shit and has been re translated, rewritten hundreds of times so now, you're not following what "god" says, you're believing what many other people think you should believe. Have fun with your abstinence and misogyny fuckwit.

[KingdomAtWar]

THE END

[WoolyWoolwine83]

This is actually an accurate summary, especially for the Old Testament. The New Testament consists of "Everyone died..............but one got better"

[jhelppi0]

@allymich143 Huh? This is an accurate summary, good sir.

[theteamplaya1]

or in a mortal kombat game

[bestsongs17]

Lmfao!!!!

[Fluffypashka]

Lol

[TheShoe1113]

More like everyone lived "]



[Waiiso]

oke EPIC xD

[SpitShineT0mmy]

Hopefully, this will summarize MLP:FiM in the near future.

[dinmorerengeit]

@allymich143 learn to write please

[911middleman]

True story

[MrCloudmane]

HAHAHAHAHA

[qwestman222]

@allymich143 Learn to type?

[SuckMyRightToe]

@allymich143 I have, it's called the rapture, everyone dies. Silly book

[uniquefabchick101]

That's terrible .

[Kristanni20X6]

THIS HELPED A LOT!

[pooglelindaful]

@allymich143

who reads the bible?

[945672abc1]

@allymich143  UR ENGLSH IS LIKE SO BAD IM LOLING

[YHLGguitargeek]

That's..... two words. nice try though.

[natemorey]

@YHLGguitargeek He said 3 seconds... not 3 words... *awkward silence* 

[DELLandProductions]

@allymich143 dude people love making fun of religion and god and stuff like that... you're gonna get a bunch of douche bag responses like the one you got by the uploader

[PkFireAlpha]

YAY! DEATH!

[jamzedodger]

@allymich143 the crusades, 9/11, the spanish inquisition, the KKK, Westboro Baptist Church, the fuckin' Horizon Academy...

Yeah, great, all great fun.

[drc930]

Or a Shakespeare play.

[grievous9114]

(that's two words retard)

[MadylinB]

Hahaha

[telemarker93]

@allymich143 You are the definition of Anti-joke Chicken

[harrysonofbob]

Why is everyone so sensitive, it's a joke, and it's not even an insult to religion, it's just funny

[Bramak17]

Religion is awesomely assinine !

[BlueHawkTV]

Well, that's true, in a sense. I mean, you won't find 1,000+ year old Biblical figures walking the streets of the Middle East today.

[sirinterweb]

true. true true true true

[akaviri001]

@allymich143 Religion=stupid 

[YukiUzumaki78]

@akaviri001 What makes you say that?

[TheMastermat999]

hahaahahahahaha

[dantr14]

@allymich143 Pardon me bad spelling man but it is called humor witch just like spelling skills you seem to lack.

[RenxRen13]

homestuck.

[CowLunch]

@allymich143 I use mine as a doorstop.

[chavcentral1]

i watched it this many times

[Bramak17]

Best Comment

[DihanBolrayDBZFann]

It should have been spongebob saying, "That didn't help at all..."

[psycho81212]

Exactly, the bible is used as a guide to beat/sell slaves and stone your wife and kids for being disobedient :D

[DORUmonify]

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha­ha

I watched this literally 18 times

[gmartdude]

@allymich143 Considering the Bible ends at 2000 years ago, yeah everyone died.

[landonggg]

Everyone dies from my NAAAAAAAAAAAAILLLLLLLLL GUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

[CatDarkeye]

@allymich143 Technically, since the bible was written 2000 years ago, everyone that was in it is now dead. Most of them probably never existed in the first place, but nevermind that.

[InsatiableBloodlust]

@allymich143 Good point. Horrible, HORRIBLE grammar.

[matheusrinaldi2]

Well i really think everyone died because, you know, that was two thousand years ago...

[ScrewLimbBizkit]

@allymich143

Typical youtube comment

[PinkamenaDianaPi]

@ScrewLimbBizkit It even has internet grammar

[lolololyousuck1]

@allymich143 Messed up have you ever tried typing less retarded, and attempting to make sense?

[Bramak17]

allmych142.

The bible works really well for rolling your own. It too stiff for a really good wipe but works in a pinch. Like heaven sent or something.