Dark Crusade Imperial Guard Stronghold Assault

[freebirthscum]

No! That guardsman was only three days away from retirement!

[Houston2504]

@freebirthscum He got it 3 days earlier :P

[DeathBite66]

Lukas Alexander: The Immortal Emperor is with us and we are invincible!

Little did they know...

[evilwarlord4]

What a rousing little speech governor. Unfortunately your False Emperor can't touch us here.

[tardoin97]

The moron shot his own guy!!!

[Adrianatoras]

@tardoin97 This is called Discipline.

[Tarik360]

@Adrianatoras .. through fear.

[insideous57]

@Tarik360 as opposed to what? Group-therapy discipline?

[Tarik360]

@insideous57 as in: "If you sorry lot are not going to stay your ground then I will be more than happy to turn you into Swiss-cheese with my laspistol."

-Any Commisar ever.

[NewGuy2534]

What kind of Tank is that at 0:42?

[SuperARTE777]

@NewGuy2534 It was a Baneblade.The most powerful unit of IG.

[Joel354vanfanel]

@NewGuy2534 The Motherfucking Baneblade, that metal monster can crush a Necron Monolit or Ork Waaaaghh by itself and come out unscratched. I'd marry it if I could.

[Exzibionperez]

@Joel354vanfanel Its a crappy Baneblade in Dow 2 it got its shit blow up by a Tua Gunner drone that self destructed:) i was incapacitated Then i saw that i was like :O

[Joel354vanfanel]

@Exzibionperez >DoW2

>Relevant

[joseaca]

goddammit he was about to tell us his fail-proof strategy to win the war

[MrXXFatalisXX]

If only we could have that many Lemans

[sirpieman300]

i want those gauntlets!!!



[lordgluzman]

If only Commissar Fucklaw and his angry marines would take over.

[Engravingsful]

heh heh they are like soviet was in some war

[nubilepro]

Oh my god turn on the transcribe audio captions XD

[Ghostrider91111]

@nubilepro omg warhammer 40k in nutshell

[ignas1130]

@nubilepro

"the jews will sell out on the firing line"

Oh god. I lol'd

[BlackTemplar43]

Lukas Alexander: "You have come here to die."

Indrick Boreale: "No, we came here yester die!"

[rAdziu993]

@BlackTemplar43 NO!

[TheHitmanFourtyseven]

Alexander: "Kill their commander! Send our Vindicare assassins!

Assassin: "One chance is all I need!"

THREE HOURS LATER

Alexander: "Where are you, assassin?? You were supposed to kill the Space Marines' Commander!!"

Assassin: "Space Marines?? I'm on Typhon Primaris, fighting the Tyranyds!"

Alexander: "T_T"

[reinosoxp]

The Imperial Guard seems to me to be the best race in this game if youknow how to use it. Trust me.

[K4inan]

@reinosoxp Chaos are the best lol. A chaos insane bot always takes over the rest, and you need another ally to take one down..

[lordrevan571]

press 3

DANCE MY GUARD'S MEN DAAAAANCE

[wowKrazy]

Dissapointed that on defense of victory bay its actually nothing like this at all. That army you see is impossible because of all the caps. 5 guns on the hill LOL. Thats 80% of your entire vehicle cap. And you start with 2 turrets, some generators and the basic defenses. Not no capital by any means LOL. But of course they got defenses across the board when your attacking them as someone else. Besides, and if your playing aggainst necrons you need all the units you see on screen to kill the NL.

[amir0298]

guardsmen:but sir,i am hungry.....laspistol blast

commisar:if you want some food,go fight for emperor

alexander:yes,but first,commisar,can you get me a plate of chicken chop???

commisar:yes........

guardsmen:WTF!!!!!bolter blast!

alexander:i'll give y'all burgers if you fight for emperor.

guardsmen:YES SIR!muttered stupid general,we 're gonna fight while him eating????no way hozay!

[ZeroDarkOmega]

Now where are my CUPCAKES!? But Sir the enemies right,,,,,, Commisar shoots him I WANT MY CUPCAKES NOW!!!!

[jasonromulus]

... something I've always wondered when you're fighting the strongholds... If they have so many soldiers already on the field, why don't they just rush your base and wipe you out in the first minute of the game?... even with max honor guard, 8 leman russ tanks will still fuck up a starting base... the rest of the guardsmen are really just overkill at that point...

[Suomipanzerdiv13]

How i hate the attitude towards the por guardsmen. They go trough bullets and artillery and when they think theyre safe, they can get shot for nothing.

[TheHitmanFourtyseven]

Alexander wrote a letter to the wife of that poor guardsman... "Your husband was killed with no reason... he is a hero!"

[minborox]

"But sir... Your zipper.... is open"

[DARKSERB96]

The imperial Guard is the Best Faction if you know how to play against the other xenos and traitors

some factions to best avoid

Dark eldar,eldar,Chaos and Space marines

the eldars are weak but they use damn stealth!

chaos has Defilers and obliteratos they kinda mes the guardsmen up

space marines have grey knights and damn Jugernauts!

the others are cannon foder....in case of the imperium lascanon foder

[redwire2155]

@DARKSERB96 LMAO they are dreadnoughts,ROFLMAO!!

[DARKSERB96]

@redwire2155 same shit

[WARMAKER1814]

if only we could have that many tanks in the game

[conscript900]

How do you get shrilling sound

[Agent1W]

0:19. *shwoop* BLAM! *shrilling sound* How do they get this laspistols to do that?

[firelord699]

@Agent1W That's also quite a silencer he has on the gun o.0

[Agent1W]

@firelord699 Could be a vacuum tube of sorts to drive the laser out.

[xxlCortez]

I think Alexander's speech is the best among the stronghold defenders. It is funny thought if you attack with Space Marines and he says: the Emperor is with us and we are invincible.

And fellas, it is true that commisar's are fuckin' cruel, but they are the reason of the subordinacy and loyality of the IG. And don't forget, these guys are the fifth company, the most coward suckers. You saw what happened when you killed their commisar, they immediately turned.

[xxlCortez]

@xxlCortez And I think if the commisar doesn't shoot the soldier, he would have say something like that: "But sir, there's too many of 'em, they are strong, we couldn't stand a chance..." Which could completely demoralize the others. As far as I know, commisars are only shoot the cowards who run from combat (thought players shoot them for getting more damage) but better if they execute 1 or 2 soldiers than the enemy slaughter 3 or 4 squads because or the loss of morale.

[LoneSniperSG]

0:27 for the real reason you clicked this video.

[IPFreelly604]

I would've lost if I had seen atleast half of those Leman Russes

[speedyfreek15]

click 1 then after he sais this is the moment click 3 and then quickly after 5

[flyingmonkey1001]

@TheImmortalNerd No the Emperor isn't dead he is like in life support and People pray to him because he was on the great crusade and was like the leader.... which united the Emperium you know the rest

Monkey out!

[MrNintoku]

I hate commisars. Their stupid. And don't know when a fight is pointless especially if there is no gain (i.e Strategic point)

[lox12]

No "buts" !

[Odenetheus]

@TheImmortalNerd First of all, the emperor is only dead in body, but still communicates in soul, and secondly, there are large factions within the Imperium who do not wish to see the Emperor's mortal coil revived.

[agboy10]

hey guys press 1 then alexander will say this is the moment of then quickly press 3! it's not that funny but it's an entertainment!

[Yomamma1338]

All the possible ways he could have convinced the guy to fight bravely, and he chooses to waste him.

An army which faces the enemy's guns to avoid facing their own is no more heroic than a group of civilians fleeing from the enemy.

[Lathox]

@Yomamma1338

That is well said. But the whole point of Imperial Guardsmen is to just be executed for any stupid reason. Sheesh even some of the gretchin are treated better than this. In the Space Marines ending they admired the courage of those who fought bravely alongside Lucas Alexander to the end. So they executed the guardsmen that sided with them for disloayalty to their master.

So I will reiterate. Imperial guardsmen, if the enemy doesn't kill them the comissars will.

[thatdudeoverthere456]

mess with the best, die like the rest.

[JadenKy]

Press 3!!

[TheVoiceOfReason93]

This one's from 1d4chan:

Guardsman: "But sir -- !"

*BLAM*

Commissar: "If you will not serve in combat, then you will serve on the firing line!"

Dying guardsman: "but....your....zipper sir... it's open..."

[Kevinyock]

Guardsman: but sir,can i have 5 dollers for my ammo.

Comisar:You are a fag who spend so much money at a bar.

lol

[ihatefurrys]

Guardsman: "But sir, the Necrons are running on UNIX!"

(later)

Alexander: "Enemies of the Imperium hear me: "rm -r *"

Necrons: ?!? *all die*

[joseaca]

@ihatefurrys they wouldve stopped working back in 2038

[lox12]

My favorite WH40k speech ever.

[sylar335]

that speech was epic makes me want to kill some aliens

[SepikRoque]

Anyway this stronghold intro is one of the best in dark crusade...

[SepikRoque]

@TheImmortalNerd lol... that kind of things can happen when you proceed as "shoot first ask later" lol... maybe the poor man just wanted to go to the bathroom...

[KillerFishStick1]

Best speech in every DOW.

[ricardo15301]

i had this while playing as the chaos space marines

[TomFuIp]

this looks like barney! lol jk

[jonanlsh]

How to make the IG stronghold assault worse:

Snipers

Valkyrie Bombing runs

Baneblades by the squad.

Maybe 2 MORE Basilisk Artillery Squads.

oh and a titan. there's no fun without a giant walking war machine.

[Kemonokami]

A victory daaaaaay in Victory Baaaaaay!

Sounds like a good Broadway musical. XD

[GreyMercury]

That Commissar's Las Pistol makes a pretty badass sound.

[bolterboy13]

@GreyMercury can i get one of thoses

[Hidan237]

I masturbated to this.

[Rorschach1030]

@Hidan237 TMI. ( too much info)

[Hidan237]

@Rorschach1030 Its never enough info good sir, and or madame

[Rorschach1030]

@Hidan237 lol

[zanderjohn1]

@Hidan237

Second that.

[easygoingcactus]

@Hidan237 weirdo

[easygoingcactus]

@Hidan237 weirdo you should do that to porn by the way thanks for the desturbing visions thanks to you I can never watch ths video again

[Hidan237]

@easygoingcactus Good. Possibly after not ever watching this video again, maybe you can learn use proper grammar. Just a suggestion.

[blamefulsubset0]

@Hidan237 ok you know what! I left that comment at midnight so just go fuck yourself again

[Hidan237]

@blamefulsubset0 No sir, I have a girlfriend for that.

[blamefulsubset0]

@Hidan237 

[blamefulsubset0]

@Hidan237 well you know what, I totally meant to do that but seriously how could you possibly find this arousing

[Hidan237]

@blamefulsubset0 I didn't find this arousing. There are such things as... I don't exactly know what kind of humor genre it would be considered. Possibly dark humor. However, you thinking that somebody could actually find this arousing is a sign of little to no intelligence.

[blamefulsubset0]

@Hidan237 I didn't think that normal people would find this arousing thats why I was suprised by the thought of anyone masturbating to this

[blamefulsubset0]

@Hidan237 well mabey (I know I spelled it wrong I didn't feel like thinking) some people would like this one kid who goes to my school (it's such a homo)

[assasindroid101]

@Hidan237 WHAAAAAT!?

[Hidan237]

@assasindroid101 :3 *Fap fap fap*

[LoneSniperSG]

The WIN starts at 0:28

[REAPER3382]

you will not fear you will not faulter you willo not give a single step to the enemy. you will also all die for a squad of space marines can take out 2 squads of imp guard. so do the math.

[terk0iz]

Every time I play the campaign the Necron always kill the Imperial Guard within the first 5 turns. Wtf?

[wicNKWD37]

but sir, shoudnt we ally with the blood ravens?

[Kibbles747]

this stronghold is a bitch... i was playing as the necrons and the first part sucks except one of my tomb spiders came back to life and started blowing stuff up...

[BooshStudios]

i love how the commisar doesnt even care what the guy is about to say, just BLAM!

[colonelchris92]

Commissars are tasked with keeping the morale of Guardsmen up. It depend on the commissar as well. Gaunt leads by being understanding and up front, while others lead by the firing squad, inspiring fear.

It is the SOUL duty of the Commissar to inspire and lead, though they are more a political officer than a military officer.

[WARMAKER1814]

I love the Necrons, they kill everyone and when there's not one left they just simply move on the the next

[BunnyknightX]

Why did the commissar shoot the soldier? It was obvious that the soldier had something important to say to the General. The commissar should've allow the poor guy finish what he is about to say, instead of killing him.

[CidCaldensfey]

A lot of commissars are typically very stuck up and won't see things any other way than their own. The only commissar which comes to mind who wasn't so much like this was Ciaphas Cain.

It's part of their training at the schola, I think.

[BunnyknightX]

@CidCaldensfey It's still stupid though. I know commissars are responsible for enforcing discipline and devotion to the Emperor, but killing a soldier who has something important to say is just pointless and over the top. Maybe you're right about the schola training thing. Education in the Imperium is very strict and all of them are run by the Imperial cult itself.

[deadlykeybord]

@CidCaldensfey Ibram Gaunt aswell :D

[NovaproductionsX3]

But sir....I have information on how to revive the Emperor...*gets shot in the head by the Commissar*

Commissar: opps...my finger slipped :3

[barcod11]

men of the inperium drive me closer i want to hit them with my sword

[patataton]

i don't like Alexander, he's not that bad, but compared to General Sturnn from winter Assault he's a pussy

Sturnn was absolutely badass

[Deadboltt]

@patataton he is in no way a pussy. He's a young, hell for leather officer who's risen quickly. Sturm is an old man who's had time to mature and develop into a solid commander.

[bluemoon692]

Most epic dawn of war game ever.

"if you wont serve in combat you will serve on the firing line"

[ShukakuSleeps]

If imperial guardsmen can get stuck in... they're like a bunch of ticks, and a little alchohol and a lit match aint gonna cut it

[Szgerle]

@orlisweeny655

Actually, no. DoW sucks monkey cocks as a strategy game. Cheating, retarded AI, unbalanced multiplayer, glitches Relic refused to fix.

I only play it fow the warhammer vibe, not for being a good game.

[deadlykeybord]

@Szgerle Ball shit, DoW owns. PERIOD!

[Szgerle]

@deadlykeybord

If you think that you dont know much about RTSes.

[deadlykeybord]

@Szgerle Lol, whatever, DoW owns.

[Szgerle]

@deadlykeybord

Repeating bullshit wont make it come true.

[deadlykeybord]

@Szgerle Good thing I repeated no bull shit then eh?

[Szgerle]

@deadlykeybord

You do. Warhammer deserved a better game than DoW.

You should try out the "Firestorm over Kronus" mod. When modders do a far better way than the original programmers you can tell how bad the original was.

[deadlykeybord]

@Szgerle Whatever, I dont agree and your not changing my mind

[ThePilotA380]

@Szgerle true but the modders couldn't mod the game without the original thing right?

[mcz1945]

@Szgerle To be honest, i dont like FoK one bit, too much of useless micro and some things are practically useless, while others are overpowered violently. Try the Steel legion MOD. Now THAT is something :))

[Finalzero]

@Szgerle The original was bad? Seriously? Dawn of War is one of the best RTS Game out there and far more better than Starcraft for example. 

[Szgerle]

@Finalzero

HAHAHAHA

You seriously believe this?

[Ironzealot7531]

@Finalzero heresy!

dawn of war is great, company of heroes is better, but starcraft is unmatched. The game has been out for 12 years and pro players are still coming up with new builds and strategies. You'll never see a better balanced RTS with a higher skill cap.

It remains to be seen if SC2 can unseat it.

[CrackaStoleMyBoat]

@Ironzealot7531 starcraft fucking sucks it ripped off warhammer 40k

[Ironzealot7531]

@CrackaStoleMyBoat yeah they did rip off WH40k in some respects, but warhammer 40k ripped off aliens, starwars, and tolkein

I'm not arguing the originality of the source material, I'm arguing the quality of the game.

[CrackaStoleMyBoat]

@Ironzealot7531 yeah 40k stole the space marines from lord of the rings.

starcraft is 12 years old, it's time to move on.

[wicNKWD37]

@Ironzealot7531 warhammers before star wars stupid. what has been copied from star wars, lord of the rings or aliens?

[Ironzealot7531]

@wicNKWD37 wtf are you retarded or something? The tyranids are obviously inspired by Aliens, which in turn inspired the zerg. Nothing is original who gives a shit.

And WH40k does not predate Star Wars! Christ Star Wars first came out in 1977

[wicNKWD37]

@Ironzealot7531 no the first tyrranid sceetch is a et rip off. ive seen it.

[Karskin009]

@Ironzealot7531 Sorry mate, but Wh40K came in around 1965-1970s as concepts and stories. i'm not pointing fingers on who is what though, I've only acquired this information from a fan(He did his research on all of this stuff) of Wh40K. He still haven't told where he got this from though :|

[Lolomlas]

@Karskin009 No Warhammer 40K came in 1985.

[Karskin009]

@Lolomlas I know -.- but it came in 1965-70s as CONCEPTS AND STORIES, NOT FIGURINES. make sure you read carefully next time, it would help.

[liquidjoshi]

@Ironzealot7531 You think that because you have been reading the uncyclopedia. That is satire, not fact.

[wicNKWD37]

@CrackaStoleMyBoat no starcraft is a good game. warcraft is not. besides isnt ripping of warhammer a good thing?(exept warcraft).

[philjk9372]

@wicNKWD37 warcraft was pretty good then they bought out world of warcraft and now everyone hates it, imo dow died with dawn of war 2 but i would probly still play it

[CrackaStoleMyBoat]

@Ironzealot7531 blizzard basically rips off better games and sells them to retards who lick that shit up

[ColonelZoren]

"But sir..."

BLAM

"...we are the second, not the fifth company, sir..."

[SithDarthMax]

compared to the general from W.A. this kid is a fucking choir boy.

[jadenkorkor]

"But sir..."

BLAM

"...I forgot to change the Titan Cannon's batteries".

[lordsmelly5]

i didn't know what the cannon did...lucky for me i happened to send the scouts in first!

[BerserkerJohn]

I like the begining. Nothing like watching ur enemy killin each other to start an assault

[megafight1]

What a rousing little speech, Governer. Unfortunately, your False Emporer can't touch us here.

[Animalmother1234]

@megafight1

QUICK, OFFER YOUR TRUE GODS AN OFFERING OF BLOOD

SLIT YOUR WRISTS

[dragonstormx]

Yes well too bad things don't turn well for you either Mr. Chaos person, canon ending the Blood Ravens win.

[CaptCow]

Of course Relic would make the Blood Raven win. They wouldnt create a new chapter and make it the prime focus of two games only to make them only sometimes win.

[Szgerle]

Your gods neither. On the other hand, our earthshaker rounds...

[dragonstormx]

Well if that hellstorm cannon was attached to a working titan I wouldn't attack, but since it isn't, LETS FIGHT!

[Blazieth]

*waits for dragonstormx to walk into the trench*

*cue cutscene* On my command, fire the Titan Cannon!

....FIRE! *BWOOSH*

[dragonstormx]

You really think I would attack from the direction that thing was pointed at?

[Blazieth]

You will if he gives you no choice <_<

[Animalmother1234]

play the game, as an attacking force you need to cross its line of fire to get to the IG base.

[Najjarboyz3]

But sir....ITS A TRAP!!!!

[Kemonokami]

Sadly, he only had to use the bathroom.

[Szgerle]

Or not requesting permission to speak, or saluting with his left hand, or standing at ease when adressing at ease when adressing a senior officer...

..did he even finish his basic training?

[Kemonokami]

He was in it for the college benefits.

[Terrorkarel]

@Szgerle

That battle is basic training for the guardmen.

[Szgerle]

Oh, I see a mucked up my comment.

Never drink and comment on youtube kids.

[lordgluzman]

@Kemonokami

lol that was funny

But sir....I need to go to the bathroom please.

[Kemonokami]

*Pluurrrp*

"Oooooh...He really did have to go...X("

[lordgluzman]

@Kemonokami

Sadly that guy didnt make it

[Foolfyer]

The guardsmen was about to reveal that the commissar was a spy.

[gswzero]

Guardsmen: "But sir..."

Commissar: "Do you salute me with left hand, asswipe?"

BAAANG!

[commisarbenno]

haha XD

general Alexander: yes..ok..right where was i??

[crappshet]

imperial guard did not win in kronus its the space marines

[theleoita90]

uhm, yes thats correct...

[Ruiner1001]

0:44 to 0:49

is epic

[Arthur900]

YAY!! HUMANITY!!

[Henners1991]

But sir, they're behind you!

[JoE12309393]

Imperial gaurd wins on kronus!!! :D

[royalhughie]

no they don't, they get their arses handed to them by the space marines