RiffTrax w/ Mike Nelson - Star Wars Ep 1 - Part 1

[penguinsarebeast33]

maybe they cant get droids for some reason so they have slaves instead.

[kurtjk01]

"He's a protocol droid to help mom." Yep, just what a slave needs: assistance with the ins and outs of minute-taking, polite forms of address and behavior, planning scientific experiments, or of course, formatting data for eletronic communication (because those slaves spend all their copious free time blogging).

[joesislackjoe]

xdxdxdxdxd

[Edenberry]

Go see Rifftrax LIVE: House on Haunted Hill on October 28th in a theater near you!

Check out Rifftrax.com to find theaters in your area! Hope to see you there!

If you're in the Greenville, SC area like me, it's at the Hollywood 20 location.

[rl1712]

Psychonauts FTW!!!

[JamesOhGoodie]

Hey I'd put up with Anakin Skywalker for Tater-Tots and Psychonauts.

[ThunderAppeal]

'Every fan boys dream, bring Natalie Portman in to your room and show her your protocol droid.' roflmao

[Jangobadass]

Okay, where's the "Best Of" for this to go with the other Rifftrax Star Wars vids???

[westeastxybzd]

These are my friends mom.

i found them on he street

[textthing]

They're supposed to be indentured slaves, yet they have a warm, spacious house. It just shows how utterly out of touch the creators of this thing are.

[ninjapunk123]

clearly somebody hasn't seen what kind of houses the rest of the planet lives in

[textthing]

Way to miss a point.

[vigo894]

@ninjapunk123= He should know that the slaves barely get to enjoy their homes because their masters work them almost 24/7. Wait, how long is a day on Tatooine?

[GrixieKong]

@vigo894 Well, since there are two suns, I'm guessing it's always daytime on Tatooine!

[catfacecathead]

@textthing indeed. And as red letter media pointed out, the boy has built a 'protocol droid' who specializes in languages and interstellar diplomacy ... to lend his mom a hand around the kitchen.

[AToxicOrange]

@textthing You call a mud hut warm and spacious?

[textthing]

@AToxicOrange

Absolutely! Mud is the perfect material for a hot climate - warm at night when the temperature drops, yet cool and breathable in the heat of the day. It's an ideal material for a desert climate. And as for 'spacious' - you did pay attention to those interior sets, did you not? Annie the Musical even has his own room!

Add to that the fact that they seem well-dressed and have enough food to comfortably entertain several unexpected guests. Where do I sign?

[AToxicOrange]

@textthing Nothing costs very much on Tatooine. It's a poor planet, and the only area that's got anything decent is Mos Eisley. What they have that's decent, you can get for very little.

[textthing]

@AToxicOrange

That maketh no sense to me. If it's a poor planet, commodities should be hard to come by, not easy. If everything was cheap and abundant, the place wouldn't be poor.

[AToxicOrange]

@textthing Nothing is cheap and abundant. Compare the attire and homes on Tatooine to the attire and homes on Coruscant or some similar planet. The other planet has far better accommodations and clothing than Tatooine. Hell, in the original film, Luke wore the same thing Anakin's wearing here. Because he was relatively poor. Plus, you can make a mud hut by hand, using... dirt and sand. Tatooine is made of that. So yes, Anakin has his own room, because they built it that way.

[textthing]

@AToxicOrange

And now you're contradicting yourself. Like I said before, they're supposed to be slaves, but they have their own house (and if that's a crude mud hut, can I have one, please?) they have leisure time, they have clean clothes, and they have enough not only to satisfy their hunger but to share with strangers. Not bad for indentured slaves. And like I said before, if that's slavery, how do I get a piece of that action?

[AToxicOrange]

@textthing How about you just stick with the fact that it's a movie, and stop complaining about how it's not realistic at all?

[textthing]

@AToxicOrange

Yes, just slurp it up like a good consumer and stop asking questions.

[AToxicOrange]

@textthing Wow, you have some serious issues. It's a fucking movie, and movies are made with the expectation that the audience suspend their disbelief. How about you start on the implausability of the blasters next? Or faster than light travel? Those are just as valid as your incredibly weak point of slaves vs droids.

[textthing]

@AToxicOrange

Trust me, engaging in ad hominem doesn't make me respect your views more. Just because some hack movie maker "expects" an audience to accept something, doesn't automatically mean he has the talent to carry it off. Yes, the laser blasters, 'light sabres' and magical light speed powers are particularly infantile, but no more so than a villian who dresses all in black, has an eeeevil deep voice and wears a stupid-looking mask. They're not believable.

[textthing]

@AToxicOrange

By the way, you're not getting any better at representing what I actually said, and addressing what I actually said. Try doing that.

[AToxicOrange]

@textthing Excuse me, I'm dealing with two dumbasses like you, so it's a bit hard to keep track. Your "spacious house" argument is irrelevant. It's a work of fiction. Perhaps in the Star Wars universe, slaves are actually fairly well off in terms of housing. Plus, in comparison to the bullshit on Coruscant, as I've already said, Anakin's house was a turd.

[textthing]

@AToxicOrange

So according to you, everything in a work of fiction gets a free pass, simply because it's not happening in the real world. It doesn't have to be convincing, make dramatic sense, have any motivation, or be logical. Is that the gist of it, or did I miss something?

Well, sorry, but if that's the case, no judgement as to quality can be made about anything. You're probably content with that, but I'm not.

Plus, maybe slaves are well off, in the bullshit Star Wars 'universe.'

[textthing]

@AToxicOrange

If that's the case, what's the problem? What's bad about slavery? What's there to be rescued from? In other words, where's the motivation? Oh, that's right, nowhere.

I'm not sure that the fact that the city was more luxurious than Annie-kin's house makes Annie-kin's house any less incongruously well-appointed for a supposedly poor slave. So your comparison is irrelevant.

[AToxicOrange]

@textthing And your entire argument is based on the fact that "it doesn't jive with the real world". Nothing in these fucking movies jives with the real world, get over it. Nothing in Inception really jives with the real world. You're over-analyzing a fucking film. Were you born this retarded or do you really have to work at it? It's a movie. Stop nitpicking and fucking ignore it if you hate it so much.

[textthing]

@AToxicOrange

My, you're angry. Anyway, once again you show that you're either unwilling or unable to engage with what I actually said, and instead set up a straw man of your own, which you get busy swearing and foaming at the mouth at. Not pretty, and not impressive. Once again, in future, try to engage with what is said, not what you would like to have been said for your own convenience.

[AToxicOrange]

@textthing You said that he was a slave, and that he had a spacious house. Somewhere in here, the fact that with droids, slaves weren't necessary was pointed out. I've explained the slave factor. This is an advanced society. Beyond what we are. "Low income housing" is what you see on Tatooine. This is what slaves live in. This isn't spacious. Droids are hated for taking jobs from sentients. What don't you understand about this? I've explained it repeatedly, and you're just too stupid to get it.

[textthing]

@AToxicOrange

Thank you. I didn't mention droids. Once again, look at how it's depicted in the movie. Looks like a pretty fine house to me. They food, clothing and leisure time. Slaves, under any possible definition of the term, don't live like this. Your assumption seems to be that a supposedly more advanced society will need slaves, yet slave owners can afford to extend them all these luxuries. It's a poor planet, yet somehow people have enough to eat and -

[textthing]

@AToxicOrange

- yet have accommodation thoughfully provided, an entire house for just two people to boot. Is it possible you don't see the contradictions?

[AToxicOrange]

@textthing Granted, slaves don't have free time like that, but again, that's creative license. Slavery's never been depicted accurately. Also, what they ate was on the level of oatmeal, and cheap oatmeal at that. Then of course, there's the house. It wasn't provided. Shmi and the man she was with at one point build that house by hand. It's mentioned in one of the shooting scripts. The scene didn't make it into the film. Basically, everything they've got, they had to fight against Watto to get.

[textthing]

@AToxicOrange

That might make sense, but it doesn't really come across in the film. If more thought and effort were put into depicting these people's lives, the film might have been more interesting. But none of it is convincing, because it's mostly about trying to please fans. It's a pity, because when you consider the money that was spent on it, you'd think some creativity would result.

[557bs]

yeah its my dream also to take Natalie Portman into my room also. and tap that ass into the night!!!

[PinkFloyd312]

oh god there is tea all over my house now.

[westeastxybzd]

These are my friends my mom. I found them on the street LOL

[SupremeMatrix]

Every play boy kid dream....making a naughty sex droid!

[Freebleeper]

Mom, i'm home... did you get the turbo man doll yet... JUST had to throw that one in, since I recgonize the kid.

[FuryChord]

It's hard to try and make it seem like a relationship is building between characters when in reality they are like 15 years apart

[b17ek]

"yeah but can he lean back slightly and beep" lol OH R2D2

[Youngmantime]

I hate that fucking kid!

[jungleflowerklakl913]

haha!

"every fan-boy's dream: bring natalie portman to your room and show her your robot."

[krakajackson]

w00t! psychonauts!

[TheDoucheFairy]

lol

[juventes]

0:44

Anyone else notice that thing hanging at the top of the screen is one of those nerf ball thrower things spray painted silver?

[luckymick01]

Holy shit you're right. Good eye man, I had one of those things back in the day. Made a cool sound when you threw the ball

[juventes]

I'm sure it's a delicate piece of technology

[KidsTrax]

bahahahaha I remember noticing that when I was like 10 then completely forgetting about it until now.

hey man you don't know they could space nerf in the starwars universe :p

[zachi033]

ur all wrong Padme's 14 and Anakin's 9! (sarcastically) GOD!!!

[GoblinXXX]

@KidsTrax What do you mean? They have people who HERD nerfs! (Remember Leia calling Han a "Nerfherder"?)

[textthing]

@GoblinXXX

I'd like to be called a 'Nerfhunter'. No species called a 'Nerf' deserves to live.

[GoblinXXX]

@textthing "Text Nerfhunter" sounds like a name Lucas would have made up, anyway. They probably club nerfs like baby seals to make harmless soft toys.

[vlcupper]

What was the worst thing about this movie?

Natalie Portman falling in love with a child?

Her wooden, lifeless acting?

Her unexplainable lisp?

The kid?

Jar Jar??

All of the above?

[VegetaDuvalcane]

Well it wasn't the worst one by far. Ep.3 Revenge of the Biff had possibly the worst movie acting by: Natalie and Hayden in any SW film. Natalie's stage acting in her last scenes could've passed on stage, but not quite intricate enough for film acting.

[ThatGuyFromTheMovie]

Jar Jar

[KidsTrax]

I guess 15-16 year olds have a thing for 7 year olds...

also Jar Jar by far.

[jungleflowerklakl913]

actually i think at that time Padme was like 16 and Anikin was like 10

[Poplopo]

She was officially supposed to be 14. Pretty ridiculous casting job in that case, no matter how hott she is.

[SpartanM621]

Its sad i know this, but, Annikon (If you spell it that way) is 8. And Padmeh or whatever the hell it is is 13

[hippiebutnot]

Exactly. When I was that old, I would have had my eye on Obi-Wan, and if I remember correctly, I was 13 when this came out and I STARTED having a crush on Ewan McGregor beginning with this movie. Any teenager interested in a boy who looks like he's about 6, is a teenage pedophile. Yuck.

[hollyhuffstutler]

Yes fair point, what girl in her right mind focuses on the little blond kid when she's that close to Ewan Macgregor and Liam Neeson!? As if I wasn't already suspending major disbelief with this movie...

[GrixieKong]

@hollyhuffstutler EXCELLENT point! Even though Liam has girly long hair and Ewan has a dreadlock and a ponytail, they'd hold my attention more than the 9-year old kid with the blond Moe Howard look.

[Charmolution]

@hollyhuffstutler

She's a shota fan.

[Zoomer30]

There are sequoias in California that are less wooden than Portmans acting in this movie.

[RM2GFACE]

Is the guy playing Qui-Gon Jin the same who played Ducard in Batman Begins?

[51thechad51]

if ducard is the main villain then yes. thats liam neison.

he's one of the greatest actors of our generation. his movies are a must see.

[MPizzal]

My dream is to bring Natalie Portman to my room too. The only difference is I'm going to show her something other than a droid.

[Panzermanathod]

Your lightsaber?

[textthing]

Indentured slaves with their own multi-room house. How nice for them.

[fkovacs1]

uhh, Ohhhhhh-Kayyyy. An 8 year old boy brings home an 18 year old chick and a 30 year old man, and calls them his "friends".  Does ANYBODY see something wrong with this?

[johnplaystuba]

that presupposes there was anything RIGHT about Episode 1 at all...

[hollyhuffstutler]

Liam Neeson just thanked you for saying he looks thirty

[GoblinXXX]

@hollyhuffstutler Liam does look a lot younger than he is-- He had to be in his mid 20s at least in EXCALIBUR back in the 70s. He is one old dude, now.

[edstercw]

tots n 'nauts what a great night in

[vlcupper]

God, this movie is just a video of George Lucas jerking off. Love Rifftrax; HATE this movie!

[54spiritedwill54]

"These are my friends."

"I found them on the street."

[deesyphrr]

"It's built on the Roddy McDowel platform."

[GoblinXXX]

Does anyone ever think to ask why EXACTLY a slaveboy would build a PROTOCOL droid? Why not do one that could do your work for you? And why are there slaves when you have robots in the first place?

[abaraiRenji3]

because its cool.

[HaloFan262]

slaves are cheap and multiply for free, droids are expensive and break down, sorry i dont agree with it either but this is my explaination

[GoblinXXX]

I think it's because George Lucas lost his mind at some point in the late 1980s.

[HaloFan262]

actually that makes more sense than mine, well done worthy adversary

NAH just messin, i dont sound like that

[GoblinXXX]

LOL :)

[redcaboose333]

Goblin, ever hear about Howard the Duck? Duck tits.... x.x

[GoblinXXX]

(Singing to the tune of the theme from DUCK TALES) "DUCK TITS-- Woo oo oooo"

That would be about the right time frame- The question is, was Howard the cause or merely a symptom of his psychosis?

[GoblinXXX]

@HaloFan262 (If droids are expensive, how does a slave boy build one?  It just don't fly.)

[HaloFan262]

@GoblinXXX yeah fair point

[HaloFan262]

@GoblinXXX then again (sorry for second reply, only just though) he maybe built it from scraps he found, anything some rich kid threw out or tech nut discarded, never know

[GoblinXXX]

@HaloFan262 That's fine-- But again, if even an extra smart slave can build a fully functional droid out of scrap that will last as long as 3PO did, that still makes droids WAY more efficient that raising a slave that has to eat and sleep from infancy, and who will always be trying to escape or do as little as possible, compared to something programmed to willingly serve you.

[HaloFan262]

@GoblinXXX excellent point, but maybe in net valure its cheaper to feed a human on basic supplies and basic clothing than keep a droid functioning dependant on probably expensive energy cells and with the replacement parts, as well as being less efficient, its all about the money remember

[GoblinXXX]

@HaloFan262 Stinking backwater shithole Tatooine has Jawas with truckloads of cheap used droids available. There is nothing at all in STAR WARS to indicate that droids need much of anything, maybe a little recharging time, but we never get any situation where a droid runs out of power, just ONE scene of R2 in a recharging stand and once where 3PO "shuts down for a while".

[HaloFan262]

@GoblinXXX eh but still, its only a movie, don't need to nitpick EVERYTHING, star wars ahs more obvious plot holes than slaves V droids for the service industry

[LouistheHedgehog]

@GoblinXXX

My thought exactly. It's like having plantation slaves in the age of combine harvesters.

[AToxicOrange]

@GoblinXXX Protocol droid was for his mother. Slaves were because Shmi owed Watto money and couldn't pay the debt, so instead, she became his slave, and Anakin as well.

[GoblinXXX]

@AToxicOrange And WHY would his mother need a protocol droid? And my question is why is slavery LEGAL when you have robots that could do anything a human slave could do? This is the supposedly wonderful enlightened Old Republic, and they still allowed slavery, even when it's not even necessary?

[AToxicOrange]

@GoblinXXX Tatooine didn't fall under Republic control. The Republic didn't care about Outer Rim planets. End of story.

[GoblinXXX]

@AToxicOrange All the desperate fanboy excuses in the world CANNOT make having slaves AND sentient robots at the same time make any kind of sense-- Especially when the SLAVES can have robots, themselves! THINK about what the hell you're arguing for.

[AToxicOrange]

@GoblinXXX I'm not arguing for it, and tbh, I hated this movie. My point is, a lot of the galaxy hated droids for taking away jobs, including Watto. This was established. The only droids he liked were pit droids, and even then, he didn't want to deal with them. Thus, he had slaves. It makes sense.

[Apollomasque]

@GoblinXXX

Maybe he wanted someone around the house that was more effeminate than he was.

[GoblinXXX]

@Apollomasque C-3PO, human/cyborg relations and interior design specialist. His window treatments are FAB-u-LOUS!

[BTLemming]

Mike Nelson really really really hated this movie. I would love to hear him riff the whole film.

[homgprdgn]

Psychonauts is 360-exclusive...

[checkeredgeek]

Um... it was released several years ago. I rented it for PS2 and have it on GameTap... for free. Unless you're talking about a sequel.

[homgprdgn]

I realized that mistake like a second after I posted the comment. Thanks for pointing it out.

[checkeredgeek]

Haha, actually, I feel like a really geeky dick face now.

[angleslam99]

"Every fanboy's dream is to take Natalie Portman to your room and show her your robot"

XD

[cellardoor45]

I laughed so fucking hard at this

[GameBeatenakaKevinS]

"My mom is making tator tots and I have Psychonauts on my PS2."

[animalcrossingfan234]

"These are my friends,mom. I found them on the street" lol

[ngobleus]

"These are my friends, mom." "I found them in the street."

"Every fanboy's dream. Bring Natalie Portman to their room and show her their robot."

[Emo941]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[Numb3rsfan]

Haha the iguana quip cracked me the hell up.

[ckat13]

Yeah, but can he lean back slightly and beep!?

I'm running through too many of these NOT to visit the site.

[RevNoahWhateley]

My personal favorite line: "I found them on the street." I never realized how amazingly awful that whole "Mom, meet my strange new adult transient friends!" scene was until now.

[Lucudis3]

she doesn't even say "hi"

she was steps away from just flipping them off.

Ani:These are my freinds mom

Shmi:oh god ani how many times are you gonna drag home dead beats?

Ani: i don't complain when you do it!

[thickdarkbeer]

rifftrax is great..put the sticker of tom,mike,crow that came with "the brain that wouldnt die"dvd on bottom of screen,to make it complete..ahh theres the click

[denatsate]

Actually, that decal comes with all of the individual eps of MST.

Just FYI.

[magpiepeck]

But can he lean back and beep?

great line

[PerryPlanet]

"Every fanboy's dream, bring Natalie Portman to your room and show her your robot!"

"He was built on the Roddy McDowall platform."

[ufogate]

the riffs were good, but I feel shortchanged by how few there were

[X2JEDIFETT33]

wtf nattle portman

[AsaiMoonsault]

"Every fan-boy's dream, bring Natalie Portman to your room and show her your robot!" LOL!! I'd love to invite Natalie to MY room, if only my wife would be cool with it. Hehe!!

[lacthewatcher1]

"Psyconaughts"

YEAH!!!!!!

[jdanielhud]

How come the dvds are so cheap?

are the rifftrax full length?

[fdtoonsman]

it's just the audio, you listen to it at the same time as the movie

[haroldbutchey]

This is one of the best Rifftrax commentaries. The jokes are really funny, especially the ones geared towards Jar Jar. One standout section is when the sand people are shooting at the podracers the guys quip:

"Uh-oh, Nascar fans."

(In Deep-Southern accent) "I'm just exciting my constitutional rights here."

(When the sandpeople are cheering) "WHOOOOO! I love that Second Amendment!"

[889654]

"These are my friends."

"I found them on the street."

[Trancemaster2052]

Haha I love the "you guys can feed my iguana" line.

[igloodude11]

lmao, every fan boy's dream: bring natalie portman to your room and show her your robot.

kids these days, they got nicknames for everything

[weirdman1007]

"Yeah, but can he lean backwards slightly and beep?"

Classic line.

[reformedfruit]

I miss crow.

[crouchj74]

Me too

[hazonku]

Yeah me too. Crow was my favorite.

[IamAngel624]

Me three.

[colacadstink]

Me 5. (psst...learn how to count!)

[Delta4845]

I think Everyone does!!!

[Melchesdikomega6669]

Wasn't Bobo built on the "Roddy McDowell Platform" too?

[femstarlight]

Yes, and we will MARCH INTO THE FORBIDDEN ZONE!

[biokid123]

Nice.

[ElveeKaye]

So many movies left un-riffed by the MST3K gang. I wish they hadn't gone off the air. :o(

[dikdikvondik]

Psychonauts-The best game you haven't played.

[edmatuk]

no funny

[orangesofdeath]

This is retarded. It's not funny at all.

[grapenutsrbt]

I found them on the street!

[Kth77]

some one explain the Iquana riff

[Ydna0]

It's probably from Attack of the Moon Beast when Paul shows the girl his iguana.

[delatexan]

"Yeah, but can he lean back slightly and beep?"

LOL The rest of it still makes me laugh!

[Barrett808]

"Every fanboy's dream: Bring Natalie Portman to your room and show her your robot."