Dan Savage on the Reality of "No Strings Attached" Relationships

[Snoep76239]

"Friends with benefits" works better. Especially if you've know each other long/well enough to know you are not LTR compatible..

[fileboy2002]

I will never understand the obession some people have with not having feelings. 

[noprotein]

I wish more people had discussions or conversations about the most important parts of a relationship. If it gets too serious for you or too serious for the other person the worst thing one can do is simply end it or ignore it. Have a conversation and let yourself or that person speak and go from there. It's a respect thing.

[Aicirt8]

I think it is possible to have a booty-call relationship without feelings of love developing, but not possible for a complete, "no strings attached" relationship. I interprete "no strings attached" as no positive or negative emotions toward that person, meaning you have no connection at all, which can't be true if you want a booty-call relationship, because you wouldn't want to have sex with them if you didn't at least think they were hot

[Moragmag]

My partner and I met for booty call reasons, and the intention was to keep it that way. But I fell for him pretty quickly and then dumped him to protect myself. Two years later, he came back to me and I was a lot more honest with him about my feelings. We now both have a relationship that suits us: independent, and part time, but very loving. And yes, we've both cheated, but we both know about it. Because it's not the sex that makes a relationship. It's the honest communication.

[Karanime]

Well... I'm in a long-term relationship, but I'd totally be available for a NSA kind of relationship, and have considered it once or twice. You can do it without having feelings for one another. I've done it with my best friend (besides my boyfriend), and we didn't give a shit. And it was awesome.

And I'd totally do it again, and again and again and again, and I doubt any feelings other than friendship and that awesome feeling when you orgasm will come (hah) between us.

[milascave]

A lot of people just asume that a relationship is seriouse, or isn't, without ever discussing it.

[EllysaE]

I tell all my girlfriends this ... They go I can totally just sleep with him and forget about it ... no, no you can't

[DougSF2001]

Dan: I don't know how I stumbled onto these videos, absolute gems of relationship advice, but I must tell you that I find you both worldly wise and incredibly funny at the same time. And I won't even take a cheap shot and ask my own relationship question (since I lost the one love of my life on 9/11, my partner of 8 years, who was a NY firefighter). Keep up the good work and best to your family! Doug

[Ecdysiast96]

and then you have a conversation . . .

[Mokurentate]

emotions for both men and women are all there is. men get emotion while fucking and it seems women get emotional after the fucking because (usual) their needs are unmet while the men have already gotten off and possibly ready to fuck someone else.

[captdrastic]

Same here, liz. I tried like hell to not have feelings, but we've been married now for almost 7 years.  And it's awesome!

[lizvocal]

Married my booty call! I highly recommend feelings getting involved~

[BlakeMason2]

There's a song: "feelings, nothing more than feeeeeelings...." la la la

[DMenase24]

Is it that Offspring song? If so, I like it too!