George Carlin - Have a nice day

[montiel291]

lol I just say have a good day when I'm at work.

[MrStratoholic]

That's it, I'm going to start saying "I'm not unwell."

[crawlfan]

Nice... a very TINNY sort of word, yes.

[DaFleegsta]

I say fairly decent 0.0 I remember why now..

[BisexualFTW65]

2:13

[jac0441]

Goddamn this is great!!

[lourak]

Did anyone ever see George Carlin smile?

[TheHashBot]

my shirt says have a nice day. :P

[Youngblood1701]

Is it just me, or does he look a bit a short in this video?

[musicgoddess51]

"Maybe I don't FEEEEEEEEEEEL like having a nice day."

[HighPriceComedy]

i feel that "fine" has a little more character than "nice."

[louidoggify]

IF I DO THE COOKING THEN YOU DO THE DISHES.  PICK YOUR SHIT UP OFF OF THE FLOOR. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. DON'T MAKE ME CALL YOU OUT AGAIN.

[RagingSeraphim]

@louidoggify no u

[Crusherdub]

1:58 trollface lol

[gvanderleun]

I;m sure Carlin could really use a nice day or any day about now.

[mymovienerd]

@gvanderleun Why? I'm very very sure that he's having a nice eternity.

[crazyolmer]

this is just another point of view))

we all get used to this words

[snupchuckles]

i want a bad day to...

[ronaldcorreatv]

This video reminds me of St. Patrick's Day..

[LOCUSTHATER666]

I have to tell someone that I'm not unwell since saying good is just over used lol

[deadsilentmike11]

2:13....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

[broalonzo]

Looks like there are 32 loose lipped cashiers out there. :-)

[jakamneziak]

Fairly decent? Do not put variables in front of absolutes!



[unDave]

32 ppl are retarded~

[Deadmansparty2002]

Love this guy. :)

[richf2000]

Have a nice day ya`ll

[Sinriel]

Moderately neat.

[TheAndrew1987]

How are you? Fineeee! BULLSHIT!!!! LOL LMAO ROFL

[ClassicTVful]

"Have a nice day." I hate that fake bullshit. When someone says that to me, I think I'll have a nice night when I'm asleep and not awake in this fake shitty world.

[TheKushMon]

this guy still amazes me.



[Grandlnquisitor7]

Carlin is King!

[UnionKid15]

one of the funniest carlin bits ever, haha, thanks a lot for posting this.

[Caboose389]

LOL ahhhh I've never laughed so hard at someone saying bullshit

[Mr70sFunk]

@Caboose389 Not as hard as he was laughing when he checked his Bank Balance. How much do you get for your Bullshit?

[dago2bas]

@Darksunshinerain87 I totally agree with you, but the question is why do something YOU dont like to do. you know what i mean why be in a job that you dont likewhere you do and deal with the same sh*t over and over agai, to me thats just more stuppid to do something you dont like, but then again I dont know if thats your only job or if you have to do other things or if you got a new job since the last 4 month you wrote the comment but i totally understand you (:

[BuKuTyyy]

2:13

[esnevip]

BULLSHIT!!!!

[dauragonkayin]

@esnevip  That has got to be the most honest answer from the most honest person I've known... hands down, no contest. Carling 4evah!

[MegaXenia77]

@esnevip yeah you mean yourself!

[Gingrsnap43]

Have whatever kind of day you WANT to have !

[dand3100]

hahaha hey everyone what about when people ask you are ok on a good day!holy crap and they keep saying?well i dont know bout you but after a 3rd you ok starts to piss you off and you scream iam fucking ok bitch back off

[lakid87]

i'll be using "not unwell" not infrequently tomorrow....any1 have any possible predictions?

[RenegadePrincess84]

@lakid87 Probably gonna have alot of people nod and smile, cuz it'll catch them off guard, lol.

[kornflakes1695]

Anyone notice that the 2 top comments have to do with the same 15 seconds of the video?

[EnigmaticNeurosis]

As a cashier (who understands this is just a joke), would you customers prefer we speak our true feelings? "FUCKING GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE STORE, I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF YOUR KID IS GOING TO SOCCER PRACTICE TODAY, OR HOW FUCKING AMAZING YOUR NEW SHOES ARE; THIS IS BUSINESS GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE STORE, TAKE YOUR GOD DAMN CHANGE, AND GIVE ME A FUCKING TIP FOR WORKING MY ASS OFF (food industry, not clothing) TO MAKE YOUR SHIT ON MINIMUM WAGE WHICH DOESN'T EVEN PAY FOR MY RENT! That better?

[ryanb113n]

You show me a tropical fruit, and I'll show you a cocksucker from Guatemala. So hilariously random.

[LOVE15782]

lol oh carlin, you'll never change :)))

[megamullet7]

1:49 - 2:04 ...kitty forman from that 70's show? XD

[nelsonr12]

LOOK THERE GONNA KILL THAT GUY ISNT THAT GREAT

[theRodney02]

Thanks for all the laughs George and have a nice day R.I.P .

[7927jackpark]

Crappy days make you appreciate the nice ones...George is right about "nice" and "fine", though.

[TheBitterWeed]

Dane COCK.

[MADDOG6400]

I guess I should re-think my wording whenever I hand people money from now on.

[wherearemybones2]

dane cook and carlin are bosses

[piratebri]

@wherearemybones2 carlin, sure. but dane cook? fuck no.

[papalolita]

@wherearemybones2 How dare you. Dane Cook is an insect, and George Carlin is a god.

[wherearemybones2]

@papalolita agree to disagree. but agree that carlin is awesome

[Suhisabeast90]

@wherearemybones2 Not even close. Carlin was the king of intelligent comedy, a legend, someone that makes you take your brain off cruise control for a minute and actually think. Dane Cook gets his laughs by being obnoxious.

[Makoto7494]

@wherearemybones2

Cook is funny, he thinks of good jokes; but he has a major problem. His delivery. He gives way too much exposition. Also he's very repetitive. He has a style that my dad describes as "manic."

[wherearemybones2]

@Makoto7494 i dont know man....alot of people bash him but i just simply think hes funny. his daily-life connections are just spot on and he makes me laugh about things ive never thought of

[CeeDelTV]

Awful comedian?????!??!? Go rot in a hole

[CaptKirby18]

awful comedian

[MrSmammered]

@CaptKirby18 I bet you like Dane Cook you moron.

[CaptKirby18]

@MrSmammered anyone who likes dane cook should be executed

[SlimeAmTheBest]

Why don't you say "Have a nice life?" Why just the day?

[broalonzo]

I once told someone to have a crappy day. He didn't care for that.

[mistress20069]

@broalonzo Wonder what would happen if ya told someone to have a bullshit day?

[broalonzo]

@mistress20069 probibly wouldn't go as well as crappy :-)

[mistress20069]

@broalonzo  But it`d still be funny!

[mistress20069]

@broalonzo Probably not but funny as hell!!

[mepat10]

23 people have not had a nice day

[LongClawzHidden]

@mepat10 Correction: 23 people had too many nice days.

[ManMadeGod4]

2:15

That was the most epic Bullshit ever.

[TheDriver454]

29 ppl had a crappy day

[mrsemf]

Ya know, for some one who hates the word 'nice' He says it a lot of the time.

Cashier-Have a NICE da-ay!!

Dude- Why?

Cashier - I TOLD YOU TO!

Dude- Whoa, ok, ok, whoa, easy man, take a chill pill!

Like if you think this would happen if you ever DARE to ask why!

[spacebar795]

the word nice bullshit

NNICCEEEEE!!! in southpark: awesome

[jf781981]

I'm moderately neato :)

[mrmozart151]

have a nice day lol



[fiesta181]

"A guy gets into a cab in New York City and asks the cab driver, "How do I get to Carnegie Hall?" and the cab driver replies, "practice, practice, practice."

[MoebiusPan]

@fiesta181 From personnal experience: a man in Athens wants to take a cab; he hails a lot, but none stops. After an obscene amount of time has passed, a taxi stops close to him and he just jumps in, telling the driver "Just take me where you're going!", to which the cab driver responds: "Sorry, not heading that way".

[FuddMcKoog]

Show me a tropical fruit and I'll show you a cocksucker from Guatemala!!!!! LMFAO!!!!

[carpenoctem66]

This is why I say "normal" in response to this sort of question.

[xIMissYou1609x]

I'm a cashier, and I find this absolutely hilarious! When I ring out my co-worker, I always go, "HAVE A NICE DAY!" hahah

[Element7812]

he sounds like willy wonka in the beginning

[TheGratefulstar]

that is an outstanding green sweater

[American86]

This guy cracks me up.... He made so much sense too. Rest in peace George.

[BlckSbthMan]

Haahahahah

[GUNS4MIKE1234]

hahaha anytime I say this at work now I think of george carlin lols

[100819116]

@GUNS4MIKE1234 me too! I wonder if people are thinking what he is haha

[MikeTap4321]

isnt he nice

[becamarko]

Got that right, why don't we just erase "nice" from dictionaries? It really doesn't define anything. Can't believe the stuff George used to come up with! RIP

[kotien]

This is gold.

[hattrick116]

Anyone else see Have a Nice Day by Bon Jovi in the featured video =) lol.

[getalife67]

28 people that like hen cum AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

[thisisthe3nd]

You show me a tropical fruit, I'll show you a cocksucker from Guatemala.

.... No, that was someone else.

[mangafan051]

WHO WAS IT?

[chicken11001]

28 people are having bad days

[teas420]

@chicken11001 nobody cares on what 28 ppl are doing

[bu371mar]

Carlin's change of facial expressions from "Fiiine" to "BULLSHIT!" is of epic proportions. He was a genius of comedy...

[gabegmac]

i love his face at 1:51

[yunrxtko]

to all the 28 haters. Have A Niiiiiiice Day :)!

[caligulasAquariums]

2:12 Free replay BULLSHIT button

[UpsidedownThinker]

I've literally turned small talk conversations into answering with the question.

"How are you?"

"I am." or...

"How's the food?"

"It's food."

[Trowa71]

Just Get up!

[jimmtpicornell]

wahahhaahhaha the last part hahahahhaha t

[xXxAlHalLoWxXx]

26 people DID have a nice day

[randomlymadevids]

26 people didnt have a nice day

[xXxAlHalLoWxXx]

Im not unwell, thank you :D

[92796Apollo]

"Wanna give me my fuckin' change, please?" Lmfao...

This man was a fuckin' genius.

[PSPS2PSPPS3]

george carlin will live forever in my ability to laugh

[PITOLOCOYPIPILA]

I AM NOT UNWELL....neat-o!!!

[NorrisArt]

I had to pause the video at "GREAT!" because I was laughing so hard.

[StraightPunkEdge93]

Carlin could of made walking across the street funny

[mkfanalltheway]

I like relatively ok the best. But moderately neat-o is good too.

[corpkdk]

GUATEMALA!!!! 3:40

[bdcarlitosway]

Im from Guatemala, but Im not a cocksucker.

[corpkdk]

@bdcarlitosway jajaja ese cerote, salud

[Darksunshinerain87]

It's funny 'cause I work as a cashier and I always have to ask these bullshit questions. I stopped saying I'm 'good' or 'fine' when people ask me how I am. I say 'tired' and I get a lot of shit for this but I don't care. It's like people get mad if you tell the truth. They wanna hear the same bullshit and small talk. I'm stuck at a shitty job, with dumb-asses I have to attend, on my fucking feet all day, doing back-breaking labor and they want me to say I'm fine. Fuck 'em. Thanks, George Carlin!

[AnthonyDavis217]

@Darksunshinerain87 Retail employee too, know exactly what you're saying :P

[tsherwoodrzero]

@Darksunshinerain87 I've been there too. What I did was tell people the very first thing that popped in my head. Usually it'd be "alive", "conscious" or "here" but customers found it funny since it was different.

[fibbsabaddy]

@Darksunshinerain87 Mate, I say it but I dont mean it. I am really feeling your pain the whole time. I would like to change the system so you dont have to undergo such inhumane slavery. Check out a movie called zeitgeist moving forward and we will change this shit. Peace.

[MelvinThe42]

@Darksunshinerain87 How do you make a comment that long?

[broalonzo]

@snifxx0 Thank you and to your wonderful family as well

[broalonzo]

Have a moderately neato day

[Yeoh2Jack]

How are you?

Fine~~~

BULLSHIT!!! XD

LONG LIVE GEORGE CARLIN MAN



[stevedork94]

LOL love this guy RIP

I bet he's down there. Screaming up at us

[slimpolarbear]

"Its like 'Fine,' there's another word."

"How are ya?"

"Fineeeeee."

........

BULLSHIT!!!!!!!

Priceless moment.

[oklahomaisok]

I say Have a Nice Day at work, because if I say" Get the Hell out and come back when you are in a better mood" I would get fired.

[derekjeterishott1]

Yeah yeah yeah wanna give me my fucking change please?

[MyKaterina1991]

"Heeey, how'r you doing?"-"Me too".. What for do you ask me such a question, if you don't care about it at all? It was kinda strange for me while being in States.. Let's just say"Hi" to each other, that's enough! "Niiice"..

[lagaborn]

moderately neato lol

[W6S0A4]

Have a crappy day!

[Wonka275]

I'm moderately neat-o

[MrYoyocap]

My version,

"How's it going?"

"It's going"

WHAT ELS IS THERE TO SAY!

[Vrykollakes]

25 people had a bad day

[wakniss]

damn i'll never be able to go to this bugger's show again. RIP Carlin :)

[rocker4u123]

holy hell when he said bullshit. Such emotion in that.

[MisterMahaha]

How are you?

Fineeee

BULLSHIT.

[lauradtown]

goddamn, THIS IS GREAT!

[GuitarFisherman2112]

24 people are cashiers

[DUDEplayer69]

fiiiiiiiineeee. BULLSHIT!!!!!

[zytxuy]

I'm triple paaaaaked!

[Shaun17170]

I like tropical fruit!

[xXMaJoRxSnIpEzXx]

Why is the "love" button non-existent on YouTube, particularly? Man, they just keep failing.

[PrimusSucksOnThis]

2:04 FTW

[XXXXLOWRIDERXXXX]

NEXT TIME SOMEONE ASKS U...HOW U DOING SIR...ANSWER BACK...TERRIBLE...INSTEAD OF THE FAKE PEOPLE WHO SAY ..O.. IM GOOD...WHEN THEY KNOW THEY AINT....LOL

[yynnoopp]

god bless him

[showjumper5280]

1:50 on

HIS FACE<3

[ezemdi]

Someone please clarify something for me, is it possible to be "trippled parked"?

Thanks

[Devilman6066]

@Z1986 SO TRUE

[sumala321]

Press 5 if you want to piss yourself.

[OfficialPE]

How are you?

Fiiiineeee!

BULLSHIT

[MrZoomer44]

ya ya ya u wanna give me my fucking change please lmao

[MrZoomer44]

ya ya ya u weanna give me my fucking change please lmao

[trydownloadingthis]

Whenever somebody asks me how I am, I tell them the truth. Usually discourages them from bothering me with more stupid small talk!

"Pretty good" should always be substituted for "FUCKING SHIT".

[ThatPunjabiKid88]

this shit's extra funny when you work at a store, you gotta constantly say that shit like it actually helps

[Catcherintherye11111]

for some reason he looks like a leprechaun to me in this lol fucking george carlin you funny fuck

[mancamiatipoola]

"I'm moderately neeto..."

I LMAO at that one :DD !!!

Have a relatively fairly decent day! XD

[HoledCheez]

oh i will be using not unwell, fairly decent, and moderately neeto. ... Mostly moderately neeto.

[coolcat1o1787]

Which special was this?

[supermegabeast9000]

i should sue for no warning. i almost choked on my sanwich when he said, well, alot of times

[Devilman6066]

0:26 TO 0:28

[TheHomelessCripple]

plz, someone resurrect George Carlin and Bill Hicks. We need more ppl to make fun of stupid shit

[SpocKaren]

"Nice is such a sh*tty word." -- Bono

[CoolerKing37]

Isn't this video nice??!!

[AoCranger]

how old was he here?

[krackerhoofd]

The single best 'bullshit' i heard in my entire life.

[nowsuperman]

you are my fucking hero George, sleep in peace buddy.

[Trowa71]

@nowsuperman What if he's had 116 peaceful days in a row. And by God he is ready for a crappy day. Sleep shitty GC.

[nowsuperman]

@Trowa71 i do not get your point, but any ways i do not need someone who has no idea about the world tell me this.

[Trowa71]

@nowsuperman just making a joke. sorry to offened.

[nowsuperman]

@Trowa71 i'm so sorry my friend, i think i was misunderstood. :P

[NRAXCIV]

This video is GREAT.