Great recommendations , look likes we hung out at same bookstores! I All stocked on my shelf here: too) I love 'Recovery for Inner Child' and 'Safe passages',' Recovery for Inner Child' helped so many kids here too! Still does Art , music it all helps, Keep up the great work with your videos Books are my life! Really can be reading 5 books at once so its all good..Yours are in good shape , mine have coffee stains on cover:( Peace Blessings Maria
Jess I can't think of any off the top of my head but the ones I usually don't like are the ones who get all preachy and tell us we have to forgive our abusers. I don't agree with that. There was a movie that triggered me really bad that I wouldn't advise and that was "Beloved". I had a very hard time with that movie and it affected me for weeks after I saw it.
For books on DID that i didn't like one was The Flock, hated the ending. There are a couple others I just can't think today. There is some book i think called s-tin's children or something that was not that great.
a few things i didn't like about the flock was the ending was traumatic really, the other was that it was highly unethical. the therapist fostered a strong familial bond with their client with the potential to devostate the system with a loss or at the time they would have had to part treatment if they'd kept living. mostly i hated the therapist death. but it made me feel jellous or like my therapist wasnt bonding properly to me/us. which isn't true. ours just has better boudaries.
I've read other books where the therapist played a "parenting" role in treatment, esp. with DID - going back to sybil...Beyond These Walls by Rachel Gunner and Hanna Gabriele is another example - the therapist invited the client to write a book with her almost from the beginning; met the client after hours, took her to dinner - her husband was involved to a degree in Hanna's recovery...In Switching Time even though Dr. Baer didn't go the "hugging route" with Karen, he was still available
continued....almost 24/7 by phone - his own mariage broke up due to the time involved in his treatment of Karen. I guess the degree to which the therapist is willing to go is up to the therapist, but it seems like with DID some above and beyond approach is needed - my opinion only, of course....in The Flock Lynn Wilson was accountable to her supervisor, and she also, if you recalled, spoke with Dr. Wilbur of Sybil to get an idea of what her involvement would/should be. I would say as long as
you are happy with your treatment and your therapist that is all that matters for you. If you feel you are getting what you need, that counts. There are always bonds fostered in therapy and with clients with DID it would be devastating if the therapist died or broke off (which i've heard happen before with disastrous results) but we can't always stop life from happening around us. We survived until now; we will keep surviving, i would hope.
yah, i do believe some above and beyond is needed, but you must be very careful about what that is. is it hugging, is it ok to touch a child insider, is it ok or not ok to have the child insider of a adult client on your lap, with their head between your breasts? is it ok or not ok to introduce your client to your family? there can be going beyond, without going extreme. what happens to the client if you die then? if you were so dependent on them? or you retire? how do you teach self reliance?
I think the client therapist relationship has to have healthy boundaries otherwise the client is going to get too attached to the therapist which in case something does happen in which she can't be there anymore it would be devastating to the client. I've had a therapist who made me ask for a hug only to refuse it. I took that as a power play and did not trust her anymore. It killed my trust in her. Another therapist was comfortable with giving hugs after rough sessions which was good.
The one I had, who helped the most, I wouldn't let anyone touch me for the first two years of therapy...by the time I finished he was giving "bear hugs" whenever needed...when I had booster visits on occasion he was always there with bear hugs....yet even without touching the first two years, he was always there for me....I had no money to pay him yet he saw me whenever i showed up, several times a week - and was always available on the phone. We lost touch soon after my daughter was born
but have reconnected and now sstay in touch once a month by email. Its more of a friendship at this point since he has long since retired....I think the one thing a therapist to DID clients can't control is accidental death - outside of that, they can know when or if they plan to retire soon, or change jobs, or whatever. They need to keep this in mind before comitting to a DID client. No one should feel they are missing out on anything just because their therapist doesn't do what other
hugging and touching are very tricky. they tell you in school to be so careful because of law suits that could arise if you have to terminate with a client. who's to say what's appropriate and not in hugging some clients. they also teach you that hugs, holding and touching are all very dodgy behavior when it comes to a sexually abused client. they may read wrong things into it, may react in an exagerated way just from triggers from the past and so on. we have only hugged our therapist once.
i guess when i saw mine it was over three decades ago - before the days of suing and lawsuits for everything - he worked with me by instinct mainly because again, these were presybil days, also - when you mentioned self-reliance, it was because of him that i was able to start college and go on with my life - i guess you could call that self-reliance - i went from almost total dependence at times to total almost independence - a therapist can't keep a client forever..there should be improvement.
Some therapists have strict boundaries they will not cross & sometimes that can be good, however I think it should fit the client's needs as well. Availabilty for phone calls should be a given because there are going to be times when that is needed in crisis situations. More than a comforting hug as far as body/touching contact would scare me off I think, like I would not let a therapist hold me as that would be confusing but I think that is okay with other supportive people in your life to do.
those books really scare me now, for DID clients who read them. it can be very confusing and hurtful for a client. it can be devostating to littles if they think their therapist doesn't care about them because she won't adopt them, or having to her house and let them stay with her, or won't take them out to dinner etc. it harms the client-therapist relationships with therapist who keep theraputic boundaries because a client then feels they're not getting the full deal. they're missing out.
i can see we've got quite a discussion going here...i agree those books can be harmful to DID clients...in fact, the woman in Switching Time did not read any of the books out there for that very reason. These books are good for those who have reached a point in their treatment where they can read about other DIDs without triggering or jealousy or whatever - or for those who have finished treatment and feel healthy enough to read them. Again, in Switcdhing time, Dr. Baer had terminated
continued....his private practice for another job in the medical field, but he continued seeing Karen for years for the very reasons you've brough up. He knew it would be harmful to her if he were to terminate or switch her to another therapist after making a committment to her care.
he does terminate with her? see i didnt get that far into the book. i think i'm around the part just after he was thinking of hugging her or holding her hand or something and he was thinking it in his head and then he'd started hypnosis with her. that's where i stopped because we have triggers around hypnosis.
i think we need instant messaging here...lol....eventually he does - once she is integrated - and the integration is extremely interesting in this case.....skip the hypnosis part - i;ll go back over the book soon and tell you where it picks up after that....
it is hard to find where the messages are on here sometimes. LoL
i still have the book, i just put it up for a bit. i have a lot of hard time understanding integration so if the book has something about it maybe id be interested to see how they talk about the process. we're not working on integration in our therapy. so i haven't got much a point of referance for that.
even if integration is not going on in your therapy right now, i think the book does explain it quite well as it deals with each alters integration seperately - you can almost visualize it as you read it. If you do reach that point let me know what you think after reading it!
that's how the book Magic Castle deals with it too, but the person with DID is a child. a little boy i think about 12 years old. and they go thru one insider at a time in the integration.
Thank you for making this video! I'll have to check out a couple of those books. I've only bought the mainstream ones (The PTSD Workbook, Growing Beyond Survival, etc).
great video, if you need any help getting your video/channel exposed i use a site called mytubeviews . com It has helped 5 of my videos get ranked on the first pages.
Awesome. Thanks. Safe Passage To Healing is just great!
ICELANDIC1 2 years ago
Yes it is an awesome book. It was very helpful to me.
Bear Hugs!
PolarB ;)
PolarB36 2 years ago
Great comments everyone! I think it is great to discuss these things and it can be so helpful to everyone! So thank you again! ~Bear Hugs! PolarB ;)
PolarB36 2 years ago
Great recommendations , look likes we hung out at same bookstores! I All stocked on my shelf here: too) I love 'Recovery for Inner Child' and 'Safe passages',' Recovery for Inner Child' helped so many kids here too! Still does Art , music it all helps, Keep up the great work with your videos Books are my life! Really can be reading 5 books at once so its all good..Yours are in good shape , mine have coffee stains on cover:( Peace Blessings Maria
awesomeastrid 2 years ago
thats great, thanks for showing books you liked. are there any you would warn against?
jess
infinitycastle 2 years ago
Jess I can't think of any off the top of my head but the ones I usually don't like are the ones who get all preachy and tell us we have to forgive our abusers. I don't agree with that. There was a movie that triggered me really bad that I wouldn't advise and that was "Beloved". I had a very hard time with that movie and it affected me for weeks after I saw it.
PolarB36 2 years ago
For books on DID that i didn't like one was The Flock, hated the ending. There are a couple others I just can't think today. There is some book i think called s-tin's children or something that was not that great.
jess
infinitycastle 2 years ago
what was it about the ending that you hated? Just curious...I really loved the book, although the ending was sad...
timetravel21217 2 years ago
a few things i didn't like about the flock was the ending was traumatic really, the other was that it was highly unethical. the therapist fostered a strong familial bond with their client with the potential to devostate the system with a loss or at the time they would have had to part treatment if they'd kept living. mostly i hated the therapist death. but it made me feel jellous or like my therapist wasnt bonding properly to me/us. which isn't true. ours just has better boudaries.
jess
infinitycastle 2 years ago
I've read other books where the therapist played a "parenting" role in treatment, esp. with DID - going back to sybil...Beyond These Walls by Rachel Gunner and Hanna Gabriele is another example - the therapist invited the client to write a book with her almost from the beginning; met the client after hours, took her to dinner - her husband was involved to a degree in Hanna's recovery...In Switching Time even though Dr. Baer didn't go the "hugging route" with Karen, he was still available
timetravel21217 2 years ago
continued....almost 24/7 by phone - his own mariage broke up due to the time involved in his treatment of Karen. I guess the degree to which the therapist is willing to go is up to the therapist, but it seems like with DID some above and beyond approach is needed - my opinion only, of course....in The Flock Lynn Wilson was accountable to her supervisor, and she also, if you recalled, spoke with Dr. Wilbur of Sybil to get an idea of what her involvement would/should be. I would say as long as
timetravel21217 2 years ago
continued..again...
you are happy with your treatment and your therapist that is all that matters for you. If you feel you are getting what you need, that counts. There are always bonds fostered in therapy and with clients with DID it would be devastating if the therapist died or broke off (which i've heard happen before with disastrous results) but we can't always stop life from happening around us. We survived until now; we will keep surviving, i would hope.
timetravel21217 2 years ago
yah, i do believe some above and beyond is needed, but you must be very careful about what that is. is it hugging, is it ok to touch a child insider, is it ok or not ok to have the child insider of a adult client on your lap, with their head between your breasts? is it ok or not ok to introduce your client to your family? there can be going beyond, without going extreme. what happens to the client if you die then? if you were so dependent on them? or you retire? how do you teach self reliance?
infinitycastle 2 years ago
I think the client therapist relationship has to have healthy boundaries otherwise the client is going to get too attached to the therapist which in case something does happen in which she can't be there anymore it would be devastating to the client. I've had a therapist who made me ask for a hug only to refuse it. I took that as a power play and did not trust her anymore. It killed my trust in her. Another therapist was comfortable with giving hugs after rough sessions which was good.
PolarB36 2 years ago
The one I had, who helped the most, I wouldn't let anyone touch me for the first two years of therapy...by the time I finished he was giving "bear hugs" whenever needed...when I had booster visits on occasion he was always there with bear hugs....yet even without touching the first two years, he was always there for me....I had no money to pay him yet he saw me whenever i showed up, several times a week - and was always available on the phone. We lost touch soon after my daughter was born
timetravel21217 2 years ago
but have reconnected and now sstay in touch once a month by email. Its more of a friendship at this point since he has long since retired....I think the one thing a therapist to DID clients can't control is accidental death - outside of that, they can know when or if they plan to retire soon, or change jobs, or whatever. They need to keep this in mind before comitting to a DID client. No one should feel they are missing out on anything just because their therapist doesn't do what other
timetravel21217 2 years ago
therapist do - as long as the therapy is working for them, thats all that matters. phew....
timetravel21217 2 years ago
hugging and touching are very tricky. they tell you in school to be so careful because of law suits that could arise if you have to terminate with a client. who's to say what's appropriate and not in hugging some clients. they also teach you that hugs, holding and touching are all very dodgy behavior when it comes to a sexually abused client. they may read wrong things into it, may react in an exagerated way just from triggers from the past and so on. we have only hugged our therapist once.
infinitycastle 2 years ago
i guess when i saw mine it was over three decades ago - before the days of suing and lawsuits for everything - he worked with me by instinct mainly because again, these were presybil days, also - when you mentioned self-reliance, it was because of him that i was able to start college and go on with my life - i guess you could call that self-reliance - i went from almost total dependence at times to total almost independence - a therapist can't keep a client forever..there should be improvement.
timetravel21217 2 years ago
Some therapists have strict boundaries they will not cross & sometimes that can be good, however I think it should fit the client's needs as well. Availabilty for phone calls should be a given because there are going to be times when that is needed in crisis situations. More than a comforting hug as far as body/touching contact would scare me off I think, like I would not let a therapist hold me as that would be confusing but I think that is okay with other supportive people in your life to do.
PolarB36 2 years ago
those books really scare me now, for DID clients who read them. it can be very confusing and hurtful for a client. it can be devostating to littles if they think their therapist doesn't care about them because she won't adopt them, or having to her house and let them stay with her, or won't take them out to dinner etc. it harms the client-therapist relationships with therapist who keep theraputic boundaries because a client then feels they're not getting the full deal. they're missing out.
infinitycastle 2 years ago
i can see we've got quite a discussion going here...i agree those books can be harmful to DID clients...in fact, the woman in Switching Time did not read any of the books out there for that very reason. These books are good for those who have reached a point in their treatment where they can read about other DIDs without triggering or jealousy or whatever - or for those who have finished treatment and feel healthy enough to read them. Again, in Switcdhing time, Dr. Baer had terminated
timetravel21217 2 years ago
continued....his private practice for another job in the medical field, but he continued seeing Karen for years for the very reasons you've brough up. He knew it would be harmful to her if he were to terminate or switch her to another therapist after making a committment to her care.
timetravel21217 2 years ago
he does terminate with her? see i didnt get that far into the book. i think i'm around the part just after he was thinking of hugging her or holding her hand or something and he was thinking it in his head and then he'd started hypnosis with her. that's where i stopped because we have triggers around hypnosis.
infinitycastle 2 years ago
i think we need instant messaging here...lol....eventually he does - once she is integrated - and the integration is extremely interesting in this case.....skip the hypnosis part - i;ll go back over the book soon and tell you where it picks up after that....
timetravel21217 2 years ago
it is hard to find where the messages are on here sometimes. LoL
i still have the book, i just put it up for a bit. i have a lot of hard time understanding integration so if the book has something about it maybe id be interested to see how they talk about the process. we're not working on integration in our therapy. so i haven't got much a point of referance for that.
infinitycastle 2 years ago
even if integration is not going on in your therapy right now, i think the book does explain it quite well as it deals with each alters integration seperately - you can almost visualize it as you read it. If you do reach that point let me know what you think after reading it!
timetravel21217 2 years ago
that's how the book Magic Castle deals with it too, but the person with DID is a child. a little boy i think about 12 years old. and they go thru one insider at a time in the integration.
infinitycastle 2 years ago
i keep trying to post this - here we go again...let me see if this posts and then i'll give you my reply.
timetravel21217 2 years ago
is this a true story? If so, do you have the name of the author? I like to run myself into debt buying books at amaxon. com....lol
timetravel21217 2 years ago
The Magic Castle: A Mother's Harrowing True Story Of Her Adoptive Son's Multiple Personalities-- And The Triumph Of Healing (Hardcover)
by Carole Smith (Author)
infinitycastle 2 years ago
I checked it out at amazson - sounds fascinating - put it in my shopping cart to buy next week. thank you.
timetravel21217 2 years ago
Thank you for making this video! I'll have to check out a couple of those books. I've only bought the mainstream ones (The PTSD Workbook, Growing Beyond Survival, etc).
fiddler32 2 years ago
Thank you Fiddler! I have a whole slew of books on self healing and alot of other variety of books that I will recommend in other videos.
Bear Hugs!
PolarB ;)
PolarB36 2 years ago
This has been flagged as spam show
great video, if you need any help getting your video/channel exposed i use a site called mytubeviews . com It has helped 5 of my videos get ranked on the first pages.
This Is The Secret That Has Been Kept From Us.
Morgenqza 2 years ago