Splodgenessabounds- Two pints of lager & a packet of crisps please

[therebemonsters]

Ah finally, I can get drinks using something other than actual spoken word

[AtOdinsCall]

We've all been here :(

[MegaBanjaluka]

The bit when he shouts "why won't you serve me"!!! for the love of God how many times have we all been there???????????? A smashing musical ditty!!!

[MrKeefta]

It was probably 'The Crown' in Chistlehurst which was the busiest pub on the planet in those days. The reason? - 'coz all the muso's went there - plus sad old me. 'Two Pints' was the dog if I recall correctly.

Simon Templar was about the actor who lived just around the corner from that pub at some stage I think.

I may of course got this all wrong.

[wmoore05]

my friends dad played the saxophone in this band... just saying

[BekkieBum]

How did I get here I wanted the show not this :s

[snupoo]

this is brilliant..... just brilliant....

[monapubthursdays]

god this music is shit eh.

[LarrieeeLOL]

@monapubthursdays EAT SHIT AND DIE. Omg how can you say that! It's really good music, and the lyrics and meaning are funny as hell. I have this on Vinyl and bought the whole album just for this song!

[TheKungfuchimp]

@monapubthursdays screw that mate its awesome

[gavinkap]

hes andrew young!!!!!!!!"

[gavinkap]

this was my uncle he tought me to play guitar lol im epic sos he

[queue555]

This was sooo funny! i wish you could still get a copy!

[quaker57]

Classic, this why British is the best in the world, it's always different

[agfagaevart]

what year? 1979?

[113jm]

Mine's a pint of bitter - PLEASE!!!

[ucanseethejoin]

I remember waiting to be served as well, the good old days when pubs used to be full

[Herb79]

Two Guitars and a single Chord please

[reangerer]

@Herb79 It would fit better as Two Cheap Guitars and a single Chord please

[AliBaliBeeXXX]

everyone should listen to this song at least once in their life :)

[AnIslandsView]

So i'm pretty sure a member from this band is now a taxi driver and was on rock school with Gene Simmons. He drove Gene to the school on the very first episode. By the sounds of it the taxi driver has a lot more originality and creativity in his music and obviously isn't a absolute sell out. Fuck the music business

Make Music, Not Money

BTW We're a band called An Island's View come check us out!

[TehSamiee]

@AnIslandsView You fuckin' stupid cunt.

[AnIslandsView]

@TehSamiee I'm sorry? Whats the problem?

[TehSamiee]

@AnIslandsView Advertising your band while telling a story? Don't be a twat.

[AnIslandsView]

@TehSamiee Look love I really don't see the problem. By telling a story I feel I'm a adding a little bit of our personality to our band instead of just a meaningless "Hey COME Check US OUT".

[TehSamiee]

@AnIslandsView But it's useless advertising, you might as well go "I HAD A VAGINA, COME CHECK US OUT".

[AnIslandsView]

@TehSamiee lol thats pretty funny, but I think its a bit more informing than that like give me a little credit. For example did u know the bassist for this band was on rock school with Gene Simmons. Oh and btw I was just wondering this is probably a really stupid question, do u like our music?

[Tribaldick]

@AnIslandsView

Was the bass player Roger Bannock? I used to hang with Roger. He was tone deaf. I'd like to get in touch with him.

Geoff

[lewisner]

8 people are getting very firsty

[Martin9476]

Most repetitive song ever

[Sextorator]

@Martin9476

i suggest you listen to sex & violance song from the exploited

[rigsby2005]

Yup, for those of you who are too young, too stupid, or too narrow minded - this was new wave vogue years ago. So many one hit wonders came and went but should have stayed. I loved this period of music.

[GravityBoy72]

What does he want?

[hindler]

It's like The Streets before The Streets.

[darrengovier]

lol simon templar on the flip side

[darrengovier]

lol

[Nightwisher87]

so that is where hmv got their logo from

[307OLDS]

8 people already got there 2 pints and packet of crisp,

[rubettes75]

i'm french you roastbeff , and i need a pint !! you fuckheads !!! let's drink !!!

[ahoghill54]

I had this single when I was a student. It had Simon Templar and Michael Booth's Talking Bum on the other side.I went to play it one day and it fell out of the sleeve and went down a crack between the floorboards. Devastated!

[pompeypirate]

@ahoghill54 Gutted!

[thatbozo]

If theres one song that could sum up my personality its this

[ThroughRock]

I love British people! Always at the pub.

[ahoghill54]

@ThroughRock  Don't believe the stereotype!

[KoenHead]

"I've been 'ere an 'alf hour and I'm getting very firsty!" How much do I love this?? Science cannot measure........

[shaftsbury94]

need a pint after listning to this,

[Sueb401]

..... my favourite is The Butterfly Song !

[sooperheromax]

Is this Damian Alburn from blur singing this ???i know its not.

[ridinhood666]

haha! pisser xD

[sistermoon59]

Brilliant they should release this again, and yer it would be a great shame if they named a shit sitcom after this c

[Fallingoffabike]

ThirsTeee!

[Mojosbigstick]

If it's that busy at the bar, why doesn't he order four pints, and save having to come back?

[ricochetfuzzy]

@Mojosbigstick 2 will go flat. big problem. fuck flat beer.

[Mojosbigstick]

@ricochetfuzzy Not the way we drink it round here!

[jnros]

@Mojosbigstick

dont you dare question the man!

[Nessbenj]

I love this!!!!!!I remember hearing this on Barney Simons Sat night Alternative show,on Radio 5.In the 80s!!!!!!Cooool!

[icegem738]

TWO PINTS OF CRISPS AND A PACKET OF CRISP PLLLLEEAASSSEEE. IVE BEEN WAITIN HALF AN HOUR AND IM GETTING VERY THIRSTY!

[jannerfish]

If this ain't in your favourites you don't shouldn't be served!

[uksnootyfox]

This is the song that put Bromley, Sarf Lundahhhhnnn on the map! They were from there... As one hit wonders go, this is one of the best. Love the last lines though; "time gentleman please!"

[GraceUnderPressure1]

I'm all for being open minded when it comes to music and each to their own but dear oh dear. I've just learnt my favourite sitcom is named after this, and in all honesty I was hoping to hear something a little less of a... monstrosity??

This is the first time I've heard this "song", and it shall be the last, I hope.

[Jcahalane]

@GraceUnderPressure1 Don't you like Status Quo?

[Bob2ce]

@Jcahalane faggots stutus quo all songs sound the same

[Tokopol]

@GraceUnderPressure1 You are a spectacular fucking moron.

[2OldGreg]

@GraceUnderPressure1 This song is called - funny, where is your sense of humour <.<, and commenting to irritate everyone is a bit pointless if your never coming back to this page.

[HarkzEVOL]

@GraceUnderPressure1 I hope you die. Everything about that comment made me wanna fucking eat puppies.

[bdelfgou]

@GraceUnderPressure1 twat

[Diehardfilms94]

TWO PINTS OF LAGER AND A PACKET OF CRISPS!!!!!!

[gavinkap]

this is my uncles song

he wrote it

[gavinkap]

this si my uncles song

he wrote it

[buddha2269]

Two pints of energy drink and a packet of crisps please

[Lengsel7]

Lovely classic song!

[ArthurAllblack]

The keg's dry, and we're out of crisps, now shut yer gob!

[ToxicTurquoise454]

I'm never going to that pub if they ignore you as much as that.

[feracat07]

A collective blast from the past...They don't write them like that anymore. Would love to hear someone sing that on The Crap Factor

[dortyhoor]

I used to work with a female plumber from w10, she was a big dyke though so I wasnt in love, nice lady though.

[lewisner]

Fucking awesome! Can you imagine this getting in the charts today?

[Crookedmencrookedrul]

hopefully 1 of the pints is for me man

[chelseamarc82]

great song, listen to the song which inspired a shit tv comedy which was watched by almost 17 people!

[haylleeywh]

this is just basicaly a conversation in a pub...

[bigfish0886]

Two pints of bitter and a basket of chips please!

[martynpank]

Toy Dolls equivalent- Florence, I'm not deaf- I can't post it........Look for it! 

[RedScarfLuxio]

How random...

[kbinco]

@LittleMuse. Terrible? Not! It was great in it's day, and is still classic.

[mangamaniac2464]

actually i'll have a pie

[LittleMissMuseFan]

Oh no my great uncle Mick Brett wrote this :/ It's terrible.

[kbinco]

Ahhh, the memories.

[89jacques]

waiting half an hour ? i wish pubs where that busy now

[JapStrangler]

What was he after again?

[nneeuussoottaa]

Grandpas, what was punk-rock ?

[Redefine01]

Voll Geil!

[blagger56]

Standing at the bar, wearing the cloak of invisibility. Been there, done that...LOL

[kbinco]

Wow, i have heard this song in like 28 years! Awesome, i miss the 80's.

[TheRD3D]

Love it, legendary ^_^

[mrlovespread2006]

love this song!

[datuderfella]

THAT SONG SUCKS!

[NykiKuchen]

Lmao, musical genius!

[houndsofroses]

@NykiKuchen the title pretty much tells you all you need to know doesnt it ? lol

[YummyQuotes]

I've always been nuts about this song. It's brilliant, authentic splodgeness.

[diddlidoi]

Brilliant, simple and brings back thousands of memories of not getting served. great tune too.

[wesszzel]

great song and show

[jimmy13United]

tevez es un tarado y un chupamedia

[eclecticbuni]

IM GETTING IMPATIENT!!! lmao

[oakesy68]

sorry i meant it sounds better than blur

[oakesy68]

i think this sounds like blur.

[DJM123456789]

RMGLUCK - Spot on with both sentiments mate!

You wouldn't think it would be possible for a 2 minute pop song, which just repeats its title over and over again, to have more humour, better characters and a better story than the BBC sitcom that took its name.

[RMGLUCK]

Wouldn't it be a shame if they named a shit sitcom after this...

[kropmuncher]

lmao

[bradleythebear17]

sure would and whenever you tell anyone about it they instantly quote the show

[rhysjenks]

o wait!!!!.....

[teamspleen]

haha :P

[pemoc66]

@RMGLUCK It would indeed and they did!!!

[aL3ks06]

@RMGLUCK hahahahah

[houndsofroses]

@RMGLUCK hahahah oh how crap the world would be if the world was like that... oh noooo

[fuckamericanidiot]

@RMGLUCK nice

[steelnett]

@RMGLUCK

Classic:)

[Denarpsaurus]

@RMGLUCK I'm not in the mood right now for one of these old youtube arguements, so I'll just say this. Two Pints isnt shit.

[DylanNes]

@RMGLUCK Its better that youll ever be in every way

[vagina41]

babbabbabbbaba

[themolly1967]

wot can i say excellent

[MrSteviebabe]

You cant call time on this tune!!

Absolute genious track!!

[laughinggravy]

This song still cracks me up every time I hear it!

Great stuff!

[nickbaldeagle01]

Michael Booth's talking bum, it's the only talking bum in the land...

[uniplantboy]

worst tune ever

[PatMerrick1]

Remember the days when the pubs were so packed you couldn't get served?

[notagent47]

this is absolutely ****ing brilliant :D

outstanding! nice one :)))

[44mazza]

a classic.the whole world needs to hear this man`s story!

[WallyPyneoil]

It's 1980 again! WONDERFUL!

[Oscar301]

Mark and Lard

[ChuckRialto]

Gotta love this (as I have for waaaay too many years) :)

[pkmnprincess]

:) This song sucks.. I love it. <3

[fuckamericanidiot]

i think it's a good song

[66richardson]

What's said at 2:03?

[pchilds]

'Time gentleman please'. IOW, no beer for you!

[fuckamericanidiot]

i mostly don't drink (cos most alcohol tastes like shit) so I can't empathise :) BUT that is a fuckin good song, so tight and incredibly catchy

[flyingfisbeefilms]

Thankyou!

[Iansgolf]

Brilliant!!!!!!!! Harp needs to use this in their next ad campaign.

[modman1960]

nice one

[Dulcielooe]

fuckin awesome...they dont make music like they used to :D...

splodgenessabounds FTW

[minutegongcoughs]

That'll be £22.50 in today's money. Oi! No smoking! Nice upload. 5 stars...

[DevilMayRise]

awesome song :D

[lhyde1944]

How many times have we stood at crowded bar and felt like this. Classic song.

[lolguy543returns]

epic song