ur so right! whenever i tell people i'm gay they often say: "oh i wouuldn't have thought you're gay!" :) then i usually explain what u were saying in this vid...
Yeah, I hate stereotypes. My friend judges me all the time and she doesn't even know she does it. I hate stereotypes because people expect you to act or be a certain way. I know what you mean by the whole believe thing with your mom. My dad has been in denial about my sexuality for so long, even though I tell him over and over. We all have so many characteristics that define us as people and others need to understand that. We don't have to conform to a stereotype. Again, much love. :)
I agree with you: these stereotypes can make it difficult for people to come to terms with who they are. Most gay guys I know (including myself) do not match the stereotypes you talk about, and even though we don't 'act' gay, that still doesn't make us straight!
i'm pretty sure that most gays can't be 'detected' just by looking at them, we are a silent majority
I remember watching your first coming out video. You have come along way since then! You seem more comfortable and bold and I think that is great. You seem to have a great head on your shoulders thanks for sharing this. You are so right about sterotypes!
Well Jasons I do not have a problem with effeminacy. I don't like being labeled. Dusenphenox brings up a good point the only "gays" on television are the stereotypical effeminate ones. Thus, that's the image society has on US as a group. We are all fighting for the same cause. Equality.
Based on Jasons201 comments, I think "he" used to have a YouTube account called jenna120s and "she" was an annoying bitch that kept saying that gay guys are actually bisexuals who made a choice, on almost every coming out video for a year.
Why did you choose to become gay? Homosexuality is a choice. people are not born gay. btw, are you married because you have a ring on one of your left fingers.
@Jasons201 To some extent yes it is a choice but, choice is just the surface of the issue. Why did I choose to like guys? Why do I have intamate feelings about guys opposed to girls? We as humans do have the right to free will. What I am trying to get across is there must be a neurological difference with how our brains are wired. I had uncontrollable feelings about guys at the time I hit puberty. Thus, you cannot rule out genetics or neurology.
@Jasons201 Uhm no. I'm italian and believe me, if people in my town would know this, I would be lynched. I didn't choose to be gay. Because I'm not self-defeating. There's nothing wrong with being gay, but if you live in a soft catholic dictatorship like Italy, it becomes a problem. And yes, labeling people and supporting stereotypes is a mark of ignorance and backwardness.
@Stefano94x I love your comment! People are so ignorant! When you tell them that it's not a choice they don't listen like we're lying or something! I wouldn't have chosen to be gay lololol why would anyone intentionally CHOOSE it....especially if their safety is in danger! Anyways I don't believe in the Bible because it says I'm an abomination lmao.... :)
Italy is one of the most overrated countries in the world. It is basically nothing but a catholic soft-dictatorship. Our culture is HEAVILY influenced by the church, and sadly, it makes it a socially backward country. There is A LOT of homophobia here :( I want come out so badly, but I'm quite afraid.
@Stefano94x I feel so bad for you! When you get older move to a diferent country! It seems like the only option for you...I can't imagine being in that place that you live in...It's funny because if you really read your Bible you woiuld realize how many mistakes it has in it...like I was looking on the internet and I varied some of them with my Bible! It's so far from the truth!
@gaylolful LOL mum says the same thing lol (she knows about it and it hasn't been a problem for her).
I'm not catholic at all. I believe in God but not in the Bible, and I think Vatican is one of the worst criminal associations ever. But in Italy, it rules. Even if it's losing LOTTA credibility cause of the pedophilia issue, it remains powerful. Hope one day Italy'll become a real laic country :(
@Stefano94x LOL! Like really...the only people that take it seriously are the ones that live by a "pick and choose" religion! And why is it that people have a greater disgust for homosexuality than any other "SIN"(LMFAO!!!). We are not harming anyone by loving someone of the same gender...haha....the Bible should be destroyed...it ruined my life and now I have to come out to my conservative parents....if it WAS a choice then I wouldn't be coming out to them DUH! I would just choose not to begay
@gaylolful At least, my parents and my relatives are not conservative at all. Just a few, but I don't care. They accept homosexuality, but they won't accept immediatly the fact I AM gay. And I'd hate to see their astonished faces. Just because they'd make me feel DIFFERENT, and I hate this.
In some parts of USA, religion doesn't really count, and homphobia is quite limited. So I hope you don't live in those homophobic states. Here in Italy the situation is SCARY, because it's uniform :(
@gaylolful LOL @ destroying the bible (B deliberately low). I'd like it, or at least see it in the "Fantasy" section on libraries, like lotta links on Facebook say.
@Stefano94x I would destroy it! It's evil to me and people seem to think that just because their religion says something IT MUST BE LAW! LOL! Like people aren't different and like everyone has the same beliefs and the same religion! Don't try to force your views on me! It just won't work!!!
@gaylolful You're absolutely right. I was born on september 23, and I was baptized on december 26 when I was 3 months old. People in Italy start being catholic when they don't even know what a God is. LMAO.
@Stefano94x ^^ So what are you going to do when you get older? Move to a different place or stay in that oppressive(did I spell that right? lol) environment? I'm just gonna take my time to come out....I'm gonna come out out during college so if my parents try to do something they can't because I'm in college XD CONSERVATIVE BIGOTS! LOL!
@gaylolful I'd like to move to another country, yes. UK, Finland, Ireland, Australia (I have relatives there)... Italy is extremely bigot and backward. Too much backward for me.
So are your parents bigot? Luckily my parents are not bigot at all, plus my mother and some friends know I'm gay and it hasn't been a problem for them. I feel quite bad for you, hope your coming out at college will be painless. Believe me, if you'll date a guy there, you'll give less importance to their opinion LOL
@Stefano94x LMAO! But it's my mom really she's a jerk...like a week ago she said "Nope...why do gay people lie and say it's not a choice? They are living in sin....there are hardly any gay people in Nigeria(I'm Nigerian but I live in Californi, US) We can't trust science because science say that they are not choosing it, but we can't trust science now can we? NO! We can't...." Wait a B*TCH BETTER BACK THE F*CK UP! Few gays in NIGERIA? LOL!!! PLEASE they're so far in the closet they cansee Narnia
@gaylolful Your situation is even worse than mine. Dead @ "Living in a sin". Sorry but she probably doesn't know anything about our situation, what we are or feel. I really can't imagine what she would think or do if you come out with her, if she disapproves homosexuality this way.
@Stefano94x ROFL! She is so ignorant...you don't have to be polite when speaking about her...I don't care if she's my mom....stupidity is stupidiy and it doesn't matter who is comes from...I don't care who it comes from...but yeah generally it's not accepted in Nigeria. It's seen as taboo or whatever- at least from the tribe my parents came from...It's weird because my dad is more accepting of it than my mom but he still doesn't accept it either...SIGH My mom has a big nose also SMH LOL! :)
@gaylolful I can understand you. Homophobia is really frustrating. Why do people apply taboos this way? :( I know your culture, as mine, seems pretty catholic, but we are in 2011 -.-
@Stefano94x Yeah....sigh...lol I wonder how sh'es going to react when I tell her I'm gay...hmmm....like really...it's going to be very difficult! If anything is a disease it's homophobia....
@Stefano94x I know...and how do they know what it is if they never did the research? There are different ways of living life....there are different cultures...there are different ethnicites and religions....what makes anyone believe that they get to impose their views and opinions on a specific group of people? Just because a lot of people think something doesn't make it true, and it doesn't mean those views should be forced on the minority! What the heck is up with people anyways....
Exactly, people pick and choose, if one goes by Leviticus then homo sex is not worst than eating sushi...literally...According to Leviticus eating shrimp or seafood is an abomination to the Lord.
@primohomme Hi :) glad to see you here. I know that. LMAO, obviously it's "pick and choose". Italy is backward, but not THAT bacward, and priests never talk about all those saints that say women must be subordinated to men.
@primohomme It's just a book full of mistakes...I can't believe people live by it....I'm pretty sure God doesn't care if you're gay or not COME ON! I think she/he has other things to worry about!!!!
@Stefano94x That must suck. In my country, we were taught in school that being gay (being attracted to the same sex) is not a choice. It's an atheistic country so yeah... Anyway, It's sad to see that there are still so many people who take that book seriously -_-
@WestVoice Hi West. Yes, we have the Vatican in the middle of the country, and the holy see is, sadly, the spiritual leader of lotta Italians. Of most of them, actually. And the homophobia is about 10x if compared to other european countries. It's such scary and sad, because nobody thinks for himself. But we all know Italy's becoming Europe's joke lol. What I really don't get is the fact Italy is one of the most powerful and "developed" countries all over the world.
so do you dislike effeminacy? or just that it is attributed to gay people, and that therefore gay people are automatically assumed to be effeminate
do you find that you hold contempt towards gay people who are effeminate? do you think it is all a show, or that it represents who they are and that they are simply different
just some questions i had upon watching your video. welcome back by the way, i was an old subscriber on another account
God ! it feels good to let it all out right .... lightens up the load. you are who you are. It would be interesting to see or share a slice of your life outside your room. Not that I am a stalker or anything ... but sharing that part of you might shed light on why you think the way you think and maybe we can comment on that too. your videos are amazing
Great video! But everyone keeps saying that you have other videos that you've taken down? Why? I would love to see more from you. Please and thank you.
Great video! It's always good to discover other people out there who are actively fighting against gay stereotypes. I've uploaded several videos on the topic (most of them are unlisted, at the moment, due to a homophobic work environment) and, with the help of my boyfriend, even created a web forum for non-stereotypical gay people to converse.
I wish the world had been a little more open to me, and at the same time, I feel that things aren't made any easier by flamboyant characters who make a spectacle of themselves and present gays as frivolous people.
Yet, who is at fault that the frivolous, effeminate stereotype dominates? In one sense I am. Likewise, whose fault is it that appearance or demeanor even matter? It is our fault again. There is a tension there that makes this such a sensitive issue.
@jaredhtx "Yet, who is at fault that the effeminate stereotype dominates? In one sense I am."
I'm glad you acknowledge that. There's nothing wrong with gays that are effeminate. They are being who they are and what they like. I have the blessing of being somewhere in between. I can draw from both sides, and I tend to like both types apart from the extremes... I don't like too masculine either... I'm not attracted to the Chris Crocker types, but I'm also not attracted to the muscle head types
@jaredhtx I can go for someone that's into fashion, art, dance, acting and even someone that's athletic... gangstas, steroid junkies and trannies are not really for me...
@jaredhtx To give you an idea, I could go with someone like Jay from America's
Top Model, Johnny Weir, Danny Noriega, and even Justin Bieber, someone who gets ridden on for being "girly", even though as far as anyone knows, he's straight. So you see, it's not about gay guys. It's a culture of machismo. Having said I could just as likely go with someone like TapoutKing16 or Ryan Carnes...
I just gradually adopted a more masculine demeanor and appearance. Considering the environment, it is hard for me to separate today whether my appearance and demeanor would have changed as I got older, or whether pressure from family and peers is most responsible.
It is also hard for me to separate the demeanor issue from the way my life has turned out. I wish I could be more open, but I work in a very testosterone filled profession. At the same time, if I were open, could I have had the
A couple of things, but first I have to say that I am glad you are back, and that you seem to be doing much better than before. You were so frazzled in your last videos, that I really worried when you stopped posting.
I have to admit that I don't like effeminate appearance and behavior. I don't find it attractive in guys, and am even a little annoyed by it, at times. When I was younger, I was very effeminate. A relative put a stop to my dress and behavior when I was in grade school, and
Great attitude dude. Way to embrace your life and see the glass as half full and not half empty. You're by far a lot more comfortable in your skin than most people will allow themselves to be. Be proud, I'm happy for you.
If you haven't already, you'll come to see that there are actually a lot people like you out there. By then the stereotype, hopefully won't bother you as much. It doesn't bother me at all, because I know what the truth is. What people outside the gay community MIGHT think is not important to me...
How can say this... I'm glad that you're back... you have no idea how attractive I find you... and I like how you're coping with things.
Yeah, "masculinity" and "femininity" have nothing to do with liking guys or gals... There are plenty of straight fashionistas out there with tight fashionable jeans and a trendy metrosexual haircuts that have no interest in guys whatsoever... they just like fashion... same with the emo scene for example... so don't be surprised...
My bff at work is as straight as they come and yet must have his hair done each day and abhors not matching, yet these are the same qualities you guys hate because they are gay stereotypes. Do you see where i am going? Do you see the internal homophobia still present? Just a thought
I have read some of the comments posted like I like hockey and am a bad dresser and don't have any gay stereotypes. It makes me laugh, because what of all the straight men who like to dress and shop and decorate. My bff
femininity of 0-100 with 100 being the most masculine I would say that I am about a 75 which is probably where most gay men are give or take 5-10 points. Like I said though people I believe are born in all different ways and I don't want more effeminite gay kids to feel bad about themselves. Sorry this was so long I just had to get my voice out there...totally get what you're saying!!
This is such a difficult topic to speak about because I really do agree with what you are saying, however, I also want to be clear that I think that there are gay people who are naturally more effeminate and I don't think they should be subject to any extra harassment than what they already deal with. Being gay and 20 I do understand the complexity of wanting people to ignore stereotypes about gay people because I don't want other gay kids to struggle with coming out. On a spectrum of masc. v.
I think you could've summed this up by saying just because I'm gay don't stuff me in a box.
As a personal aside, the notion of a straight-acting gay guy is a myth. Everybody has a little touch of femininity. Even straight guys, they just try and block it out, hide it and ignore it. And effeminate gays make me laugh, a lot. I love them. They're the most interesting. They are the most fun to be around. Sufficed, there are some drama whore gays, and many of them happen to be effeminate.
Hey dude that was great but loooooong. I'm real glad you are proud and happy with yourself but also, don't be redirecting homophobia towards other gay guys who are effeminate or fit the queer stereotype a bit more. I'm 'straightacting' myself but don't judge the camp queens or use the term 'faggot' for less masculine guys. That's just as wrong as straight people hating on gays.
HAHAHA I still have friends that have a hard time believing I am gay cause 1) I am a HORRIBLE dresser (fashion retarded) 2) I LOVE hockey 3) And I do not like Glee
I like to break those stereo types because it helps others like me that might be in the closet realize that they can come out and still like all those things. They don’t have to like shopping, musicals, and martinis. They can be themselves even if it doesn’t “fit” that gay stereo type.
Dude I know EXACTLY wat you mean. I came out at work and some ppl freaked out that I didn't act effeminate, flamboyant, or dumb. Its aggravating as hell. Its good to see you bak on YT and talking about things that need to be addressed. Hope to see more soon! :-)
damn man long time no see. You are looking so much happier and together. I am so glad that you are doing well. Just one thing..don't judge others because they are not as masculine as you. We gays come in all flavors. I am no fem, but I am not a he- man either. I do have some fem tendencies but also some regular tendencies. I am just me. Just do not make other gays feel bad for being who they are. The straight world is doing a good enough job of it.
@garyjsimm THANK YOU! This attitude in the gay community drives me nuts--this thing where straight acting gays look down on fem gays. They're the ones who get most of abuse from straight people, they don't need to get shit from fellow gay folks on top of it. They have the courage to be themselves, despite the hate they will receive. That deserves respect. And gay men shouldn't be made to feel ashamed (ESPECIALLY not by other gays) for having a stereotypical quality..or even several of them.
i competely know what you mean. the classic line "omg you're? great! we need to go shopping someday, you can tell me what to wear!" makes me laugh to be honest. im sick of the assumptions people make about how you are as a person all because of your sexuality. enjoyed this video and hope to see plenty more!
theres tons of guys like you, they may not be as visible. my best friend is very much like you, was a great wrestler in the day too. glad ur back & seem happier, was a lil worried bout ya before, but then you learned from a good teacher (derek). Now telling your story & helping others, it helps...
Loved this!! Your a cutie!!
MrCarson1995 1 month ago
ur so right! whenever i tell people i'm gay they often say: "oh i wouuldn't have thought you're gay!" :) then i usually explain what u were saying in this vid...
XforeverdrowningX 4 months ago
why do homosexual men call each other, "girl"?
marksjersey856 4 months ago
hahaha thats gay
HeshFilmsInc 5 months ago
when you hang out with your fruity friends, you turn up your homo-ness like most homosexuals.
marksjersey856 5 months ago
I find it mildly hilarious when people say "why did you choose to be gay" xD
Of course its insanely frustrating and annoying at the same time but all the same mildly hilarious = )
jamie10310 7 months ago
Yeah, I hate stereotypes. My friend judges me all the time and she doesn't even know she does it. I hate stereotypes because people expect you to act or be a certain way. I know what you mean by the whole believe thing with your mom. My dad has been in denial about my sexuality for so long, even though I tell him over and over. We all have so many characteristics that define us as people and others need to understand that. We don't have to conform to a stereotype. Again, much love. :)
TheThunderDragoon 9 months ago
I agree with you: these stereotypes can make it difficult for people to come to terms with who they are. Most gay guys I know (including myself) do not match the stereotypes you talk about, and even though we don't 'act' gay, that still doesn't make us straight!
i'm pretty sure that most gays can't be 'detected' just by looking at them, we are a silent majority
littlebuggermate 11 months ago
I remember watching your first coming out video. You have come along way since then! You seem more comfortable and bold and I think that is great. You seem to have a great head on your shoulders thanks for sharing this. You are so right about sterotypes!
pvampire 1 year ago
Stereotypes were created and are used by the majority to identify and separate out a minority from them, usually to judge as inferior.
The only thing that being gay has to mean is that you are only capable of "true intimacy" with someone of the same gender.
GyThanksGd 1 year ago
@GyThanksGd Amen.
Stefano94x 1 year ago
Well Jasons I do not have a problem with effeminacy. I don't like being labeled. Dusenphenox brings up a good point the only "gays" on television are the stereotypical effeminate ones. Thus, that's the image society has on US as a group. We are all fighting for the same cause. Equality.
TapoutKing16 1 year ago
@TapoutKing16 Are you engaged or married?
Jason
Jasons201 1 year ago
@TapoutKing16
Based on Jasons201 comments, I think "he" used to have a YouTube account called jenna120s and "she" was an annoying bitch that kept saying that gay guys are actually bisexuals who made a choice, on almost every coming out video for a year.
GyThanksGd 1 year ago
It's interesting to see fear driven comments from people who clearly don't know any gay people except for television stereotypes.
This level of ignorance is dying in all societies - Thank goodness.
dusenphenox 1 year ago
@dusenphenox I completely agree. Gays are human, they don't belong to another species.
Stefano94x 1 year ago
Why did you choose to become gay? Homosexuality is a choice. people are not born gay. btw, are you married because you have a ring on one of your left fingers.
Jason
Jasons201 1 year ago
@Jasons201 To some extent yes it is a choice but, choice is just the surface of the issue. Why did I choose to like guys? Why do I have intamate feelings about guys opposed to girls? We as humans do have the right to free will. What I am trying to get across is there must be a neurological difference with how our brains are wired. I had uncontrollable feelings about guys at the time I hit puberty. Thus, you cannot rule out genetics or neurology.
TapoutKing16 1 year ago 2
@Jasons201 Uhm no. I'm italian and believe me, if people in my town would know this, I would be lynched. I didn't choose to be gay. Because I'm not self-defeating. There's nothing wrong with being gay, but if you live in a soft catholic dictatorship like Italy, it becomes a problem. And yes, labeling people and supporting stereotypes is a mark of ignorance and backwardness.
Stefano94x 1 year ago
@Stefano94x I love your comment! People are so ignorant! When you tell them that it's not a choice they don't listen like we're lying or something! I wouldn't have chosen to be gay lololol why would anyone intentionally CHOOSE it....especially if their safety is in danger! Anyways I don't believe in the Bible because it says I'm an abomination lmao.... :)
gaylolful 1 year ago
@gaylolful So do I!
Italy is one of the most overrated countries in the world. It is basically nothing but a catholic soft-dictatorship. Our culture is HEAVILY influenced by the church, and sadly, it makes it a socially backward country. There is A LOT of homophobia here :( I want come out so badly, but I'm quite afraid.
Stefano94x 1 year ago
@Stefano94x I feel so bad for you! When you get older move to a diferent country! It seems like the only option for you...I can't imagine being in that place that you live in...It's funny because if you really read your Bible you woiuld realize how many mistakes it has in it...like I was looking on the internet and I varied some of them with my Bible! It's so far from the truth!
gaylolful 1 year ago
@gaylolful LOL mum says the same thing lol (she knows about it and it hasn't been a problem for her).
I'm not catholic at all. I believe in God but not in the Bible, and I think Vatican is one of the worst criminal associations ever. But in Italy, it rules. Even if it's losing LOTTA credibility cause of the pedophilia issue, it remains powerful. Hope one day Italy'll become a real laic country :(
Stefano94x 1 year ago
@Stefano94x LOL! Like really...the only people that take it seriously are the ones that live by a "pick and choose" religion! And why is it that people have a greater disgust for homosexuality than any other "SIN"(LMFAO!!!). We are not harming anyone by loving someone of the same gender...haha....the Bible should be destroyed...it ruined my life and now I have to come out to my conservative parents....if it WAS a choice then I wouldn't be coming out to them DUH! I would just choose not to begay
gaylolful 1 year ago
@gaylolful At least, my parents and my relatives are not conservative at all. Just a few, but I don't care. They accept homosexuality, but they won't accept immediatly the fact I AM gay. And I'd hate to see their astonished faces. Just because they'd make me feel DIFFERENT, and I hate this.
In some parts of USA, religion doesn't really count, and homphobia is quite limited. So I hope you don't live in those homophobic states. Here in Italy the situation is SCARY, because it's uniform :(
Stefano94x 1 year ago
@gaylolful LOL @ destroying the bible (B deliberately low). I'd like it, or at least see it in the "Fantasy" section on libraries, like lotta links on Facebook say.
Stefano94x 1 year ago
@Stefano94x I would destroy it! It's evil to me and people seem to think that just because their religion says something IT MUST BE LAW! LOL! Like people aren't different and like everyone has the same beliefs and the same religion! Don't try to force your views on me! It just won't work!!!
gaylolful 1 year ago
@gaylolful You're absolutely right. I was born on september 23, and I was baptized on december 26 when I was 3 months old. People in Italy start being catholic when they don't even know what a God is. LMAO.
Stefano94x 1 year ago
@Stefano94x ^^ So what are you going to do when you get older? Move to a different place or stay in that oppressive(did I spell that right? lol) environment? I'm just gonna take my time to come out....I'm gonna come out out during college so if my parents try to do something they can't because I'm in college XD CONSERVATIVE BIGOTS! LOL!
gaylolful 1 year ago
@gaylolful I'd like to move to another country, yes. UK, Finland, Ireland, Australia (I have relatives there)... Italy is extremely bigot and backward. Too much backward for me.
So are your parents bigot? Luckily my parents are not bigot at all, plus my mother and some friends know I'm gay and it hasn't been a problem for them. I feel quite bad for you, hope your coming out at college will be painless. Believe me, if you'll date a guy there, you'll give less importance to their opinion LOL
Stefano94x 1 year ago
@Stefano94x LMAO! But it's my mom really she's a jerk...like a week ago she said "Nope...why do gay people lie and say it's not a choice? They are living in sin....there are hardly any gay people in Nigeria(I'm Nigerian but I live in Californi, US) We can't trust science because science say that they are not choosing it, but we can't trust science now can we? NO! We can't...." Wait a B*TCH BETTER BACK THE F*CK UP! Few gays in NIGERIA? LOL!!! PLEASE they're so far in the closet they cansee Narnia
gaylolful 1 year ago
@gaylolful Your situation is even worse than mine. Dead @ "Living in a sin". Sorry but she probably doesn't know anything about our situation, what we are or feel. I really can't imagine what she would think or do if you come out with her, if she disapproves homosexuality this way.
Stefano94x 1 year ago
@gaylolful So does she think there are few gays in Nigeria? Lol, of course, she knows everything about who people go to bed with. Rofl.
Stefano94x 1 year ago
@Stefano94x ROFL! She is so ignorant...you don't have to be polite when speaking about her...I don't care if she's my mom....stupidity is stupidiy and it doesn't matter who is comes from...I don't care who it comes from...but yeah generally it's not accepted in Nigeria. It's seen as taboo or whatever- at least from the tribe my parents came from...It's weird because my dad is more accepting of it than my mom but he still doesn't accept it either...SIGH My mom has a big nose also SMH LOL! :)
gaylolful 1 year ago
@gaylolful I can understand you. Homophobia is really frustrating. Why do people apply taboos this way? :( I know your culture, as mine, seems pretty catholic, but we are in 2011 -.-
Stefano94x 1 year ago
@Stefano94x Yeah....sigh...lol I wonder how sh'es going to react when I tell her I'm gay...hmmm....like really...it's going to be very difficult! If anything is a disease it's homophobia....
gaylolful 1 year ago
@gaylolful EXACTLY. what I feel is pure hate when I hear phrases like: Homosexuality is a deficit, a disease, a perversion...
Stefano94x 1 year ago
@Stefano94x I know...and how do they know what it is if they never did the research? There are different ways of living life....there are different cultures...there are different ethnicites and religions....what makes anyone believe that they get to impose their views and opinions on a specific group of people? Just because a lot of people think something doesn't make it true, and it doesn't mean those views should be forced on the minority! What the heck is up with people anyways....
gaylolful 1 year ago
@gaylolful
Exactly, people pick and choose, if one goes by Leviticus then homo sex is not worst than eating sushi...literally...According to Leviticus eating shrimp or seafood is an abomination to the Lord.
primohomme 1 year ago
@primohomme Hi :) glad to see you here. I know that. LMAO, obviously it's "pick and choose". Italy is backward, but not THAT bacward, and priests never talk about all those saints that say women must be subordinated to men.
Stefano94x 1 year ago
@primohomme It's just a book full of mistakes...I can't believe people live by it....I'm pretty sure God doesn't care if you're gay or not COME ON! I think she/he has other things to worry about!!!!
gaylolful 1 year ago
@Stefano94x That must suck. In my country, we were taught in school that being gay (being attracted to the same sex) is not a choice. It's an atheistic country so yeah... Anyway, It's sad to see that there are still so many people who take that book seriously -_-
WestVoice 1 year ago
@WestVoice Hi West. Yes, we have the Vatican in the middle of the country, and the holy see is, sadly, the spiritual leader of lotta Italians. Of most of them, actually. And the homophobia is about 10x if compared to other european countries. It's such scary and sad, because nobody thinks for himself. But we all know Italy's becoming Europe's joke lol. What I really don't get is the fact Italy is one of the most powerful and "developed" countries all over the world.
Stefano94x 1 year ago
Comment removed
Jasons201 1 year ago
so do you dislike effeminacy? or just that it is attributed to gay people, and that therefore gay people are automatically assumed to be effeminate
do you find that you hold contempt towards gay people who are effeminate? do you think it is all a show, or that it represents who they are and that they are simply different
just some questions i had upon watching your video. welcome back by the way, i was an old subscriber on another account
TheDESTROLYS 1 year ago
@TheDESTROLYS Those are good questions...I think people are who they are....some people are just more feminine :D....
gaylolful 1 year ago
God ! it feels good to let it all out right .... lightens up the load. you are who you are. It would be interesting to see or share a slice of your life outside your room. Not that I am a stalker or anything ... but sharing that part of you might shed light on why you think the way you think and maybe we can comment on that too. your videos are amazing
matthewona 1 year ago
Great video! But everyone keeps saying that you have other videos that you've taken down? Why? I would love to see more from you. Please and thank you.
AsianQT562 1 year ago
Great video! It's always good to discover other people out there who are actively fighting against gay stereotypes. I've uploaded several videos on the topic (most of them are unlisted, at the moment, due to a homophobic work environment) and, with the help of my boyfriend, even created a web forum for non-stereotypical gay people to converse.
Anyway, I hope to see more from you!
gadgetfreak84 1 year ago
great attitude.
riddlerno1 1 year ago
career I have?
I wish the world had been a little more open to me, and at the same time, I feel that things aren't made any easier by flamboyant characters who make a spectacle of themselves and present gays as frivolous people.
Yet, who is at fault that the frivolous, effeminate stereotype dominates? In one sense I am. Likewise, whose fault is it that appearance or demeanor even matter? It is our fault again. There is a tension there that makes this such a sensitive issue.
jaredhtx 1 year ago
@jaredhtx "Yet, who is at fault that the effeminate stereotype dominates? In one sense I am."
I'm glad you acknowledge that. There's nothing wrong with gays that are effeminate. They are being who they are and what they like. I have the blessing of being somewhere in between. I can draw from both sides, and I tend to like both types apart from the extremes... I don't like too masculine either... I'm not attracted to the Chris Crocker types, but I'm also not attracted to the muscle head types
ibmoral 1 year ago
@jaredhtx I can go for someone that's into fashion, art, dance, acting and even someone that's athletic... gangstas, steroid junkies and trannies are not really for me...
ibmoral 1 year ago
@jaredhtx To give you an idea, I could go with someone like Jay from America's
Top Model, Johnny Weir, Danny Noriega, and even Justin Bieber, someone who gets ridden on for being "girly", even though as far as anyone knows, he's straight. So you see, it's not about gay guys. It's a culture of machismo. Having said I could just as likely go with someone like TapoutKing16 or Ryan Carnes...
ibmoral 1 year ago
I just gradually adopted a more masculine demeanor and appearance. Considering the environment, it is hard for me to separate today whether my appearance and demeanor would have changed as I got older, or whether pressure from family and peers is most responsible.
It is also hard for me to separate the demeanor issue from the way my life has turned out. I wish I could be more open, but I work in a very testosterone filled profession. At the same time, if I were open, could I have had the
jaredhtx 1 year ago
A couple of things, but first I have to say that I am glad you are back, and that you seem to be doing much better than before. You were so frazzled in your last videos, that I really worried when you stopped posting.
I have to admit that I don't like effeminate appearance and behavior. I don't find it attractive in guys, and am even a little annoyed by it, at times. When I was younger, I was very effeminate. A relative put a stop to my dress and behavior when I was in grade school, and
jaredhtx 1 year ago
Great attitude dude. Way to embrace your life and see the glass as half full and not half empty. You're by far a lot more comfortable in your skin than most people will allow themselves to be. Be proud, I'm happy for you.
clifforddm 1 year ago
If you haven't already, you'll come to see that there are actually a lot people like you out there. By then the stereotype, hopefully won't bother you as much. It doesn't bother me at all, because I know what the truth is. What people outside the gay community MIGHT think is not important to me...
ibmoral 1 year ago
How can say this... I'm glad that you're back... you have no idea how attractive I find you... and I like how you're coping with things.
Yeah, "masculinity" and "femininity" have nothing to do with liking guys or gals... There are plenty of straight fashionistas out there with tight fashionable jeans and a trendy metrosexual haircuts that have no interest in guys whatsoever... they just like fashion... same with the emo scene for example... so don't be surprised...
ibmoral 1 year ago
My bff at work is as straight as they come and yet must have his hair done each day and abhors not matching, yet these are the same qualities you guys hate because they are gay stereotypes. Do you see where i am going? Do you see the internal homophobia still present? Just a thought
garyjsimm 1 year ago
I have read some of the comments posted like I like hockey and am a bad dresser and don't have any gay stereotypes. It makes me laugh, because what of all the straight men who like to dress and shop and decorate. My bff
garyjsimm 1 year ago
femininity of 0-100 with 100 being the most masculine I would say that I am about a 75 which is probably where most gay men are give or take 5-10 points. Like I said though people I believe are born in all different ways and I don't want more effeminite gay kids to feel bad about themselves. Sorry this was so long I just had to get my voice out there...totally get what you're saying!!
chrisfrost103 1 year ago
This is such a difficult topic to speak about because I really do agree with what you are saying, however, I also want to be clear that I think that there are gay people who are naturally more effeminate and I don't think they should be subject to any extra harassment than what they already deal with. Being gay and 20 I do understand the complexity of wanting people to ignore stereotypes about gay people because I don't want other gay kids to struggle with coming out. On a spectrum of masc. v.
chrisfrost103 1 year ago
I think you could've summed this up by saying just because I'm gay don't stuff me in a box.
As a personal aside, the notion of a straight-acting gay guy is a myth. Everybody has a little touch of femininity. Even straight guys, they just try and block it out, hide it and ignore it. And effeminate gays make me laugh, a lot. I love them. They're the most interesting. They are the most fun to be around. Sufficed, there are some drama whore gays, and many of them happen to be effeminate.
HenhousetheRed 1 year ago
Hey dude that was great but loooooong. I'm real glad you are proud and happy with yourself but also, don't be redirecting homophobia towards other gay guys who are effeminate or fit the queer stereotype a bit more. I'm 'straightacting' myself but don't judge the camp queens or use the term 'faggot' for less masculine guys. That's just as wrong as straight people hating on gays.
MrMakeDo 1 year ago
HAHAHA I still have friends that have a hard time believing I am gay cause 1) I am a HORRIBLE dresser (fashion retarded) 2) I LOVE hockey 3) And I do not like Glee
I like to break those stereo types because it helps others like me that might be in the closet realize that they can come out and still like all those things. They don’t have to like shopping, musicals, and martinis. They can be themselves even if it doesn’t “fit” that gay stereo type.
GLAD TO SEE YOU BACK MAN!
uvsmitty68 1 year ago
Dude I know EXACTLY wat you mean. I came out at work and some ppl freaked out that I didn't act effeminate, flamboyant, or dumb. Its aggravating as hell. Its good to see you bak on YT and talking about things that need to be addressed. Hope to see more soon! :-)
Ryuchan22 1 year ago
Good video, it's great to see the mature and insightful guy you've become.
th3g00dstuff88 1 year ago
damn man long time no see. You are looking so much happier and together. I am so glad that you are doing well. Just one thing..don't judge others because they are not as masculine as you. We gays come in all flavors. I am no fem, but I am not a he- man either. I do have some fem tendencies but also some regular tendencies. I am just me. Just do not make other gays feel bad for being who they are. The straight world is doing a good enough job of it.
garyjsimm 1 year ago
@garyjsimm THANK YOU! This attitude in the gay community drives me nuts--this thing where straight acting gays look down on fem gays. They're the ones who get most of abuse from straight people, they don't need to get shit from fellow gay folks on top of it. They have the courage to be themselves, despite the hate they will receive. That deserves respect. And gay men shouldn't be made to feel ashamed (ESPECIALLY not by other gays) for having a stereotypical quality..or even several of them.
bbbnnnlll 1 year ago
@garyjsimm Do you have a physics/engineering degree? Hot.
10mintwo 1 year ago
i competely know what you mean. the classic line "omg you're? great! we need to go shopping someday, you can tell me what to wear!" makes me laugh to be honest. im sick of the assumptions people make about how you are as a person all because of your sexuality. enjoyed this video and hope to see plenty more!
eireniall89 1 year ago
theres tons of guys like you, they may not be as visible. my best friend is very much like you, was a great wrestler in the day too. glad ur back & seem happier, was a lil worried bout ya before, but then you learned from a good teacher (derek). Now telling your story & helping others, it helps...
1 LIFE
sleekcartim 1 year ago
omg man, you're back! im ridiculously happy about this haha :)
eireniall89 1 year ago