Steve Martin - Sex Jokes

[illwitness]

great upload........one of greatest of all time

[envinoveritus]

Punchline was so worth it.

[STATiSofVITALETHICS]

finger in hole of other fingers? is his audience 12?

[MrDeadbeat14]

Is this comedy?



[ellz1010]

@MrDeadbeat14 The birds and the bees are no joke. Im glad steve martin had "the talk" with me otherwise id still be fucking dogs with an amateur-phalactics!!

[leighgirl123]

use and degrade them

[MrDerdderd]

I wish I could have seen the show when I got the record, but I was only 8 and didn't understand most of the jokes until I got a little older...lol

[Georgeofdajunel]

:o my english teacher wanted me to talk from my diafram

[kentuckymandolin]

@Georgeofdajunel

Your English teacher should have taught you to spell.

[rocmaven]

ricky skaggs takes over watseka theatre watseka illinois on friday aug 26, 2011

[CJCMurray]

"That cat was the best fuck I ever had"

[cheeriosinabowl]

Steve is a hoot !

He was at his funniest with Lily Tomlin in the movie "All of Me".  Those 2 were pure magic, hysterical.

[lejambon08]

hi nostalgiavision, where can i find this gig? I heard it on a flight so I don't know where to find it. I cant seem to find it in the UK

[fluffdegoss]

@lejambon08 I've also been looking for it. Unfortuantely they only sell it, as far as I know, on vhs. Amazon.com has it. Don't know the price. My parents recorded this on vhs when it came on Showtime back in the day, I wore that tape out. great comedy.

[deppgurl150]

Lol I love this man. He was so damn cute when he was younger. And funny as hell! XD

[Mandar28887]

this guy was like old forever

[AppleSaysNo]

Literally I didn't laugh!

[samgub]

Funniest stand up act ever, a complete masterclass, shame it's never been released on dvd

[AppleSaysNo]

Hes not that funny..

[undertakerfreak1127]

@AppleSaysNo Fuck off.

[TMSVioloncellist]

Cat?! Sureeeeee....

[Megavideogamer100]

Sex can wait

masterbate

[jamiedub24]

@Megavideogamer100 School really shouldn't wait, though.

*masturbate

[96cesgirl]

This is so much better than the stuff he does nowadays

[PestigeKelpone]

Spenny has good taste in comedians.

[PoutinePete]

Considering that this is 32 years old (oh man that's depressing!), it still holds up very well today. I'd say I'm very up on today's stand-ups, and this is still very relevant (fuckin funny). On top of this most comedians today list Steve Martin as one of their main influences.

[timmytankTK]

Anyone else follow Bo Burnham's link to get here?

[DylanHouseShow]

@timmytankTK No, but it's good to know that kid has good taste in comedy. It shows in his stand up

[thenigletcyborg]

Steve martin is the shit, all of his work is awesome.

[UEhappydudey]

Sex is like snow, you never know how many inches you're going to get or how long it will last

[zeewolsk]

this guy pisses me off

[MrStatic62]

@zeewolsk you must be joking obviously too young

[MrStatic62]

But listen to this!

[stoneyPOCKET]

Steve Martin was the best fuck I've ever had. I'm not joking. (Finger in fist motion) I was totally into that! He does to me what only Gene Wilder could ever do...

[stoneyPOCKET]

Steve Martin was the best fuck I've ever had. I'm not joking. (Finger in fist motion) I was totally into that!

[SCREAM4VEGENCE]

tHAT CAT WAS THE BEST FUCK I EVER HAD!

[corebare]

Let's repeat the crime-stoppers oath: I promise to be different!  I promise to be unique! I promise not to repeat things other people say! Good.

[rustytube42]

I love it when someone ruins the punch line in the top rated comment. I try not to look, but it's just right there.

[HertzJimmy]

Steve Martin is a stand up comedian? Didn't notice. Horrible, just watch it after Eddie and Chris, and he makes me sick.

[Digbotron]

stewie griffin and brian's novel anyone?

[JavonteTreble]

@Digbotron I was thinking the same thing.

[bebeni89]

@Digbotron THANK YOU!!! lol

[MordaciousFilms]

@Digbotron That whole talking higher thing, I was just about to mention that.

[loungelizard5000]

@Digbotron I just thought that too. I guess if you're gonna steal, steal from the best !  XD

[KoH4711]

@Digbotron Yeah, imagine that, Seth McFarlane ripped someone off. Who woulda thought???

[KoH4711]

@Digbotron Yeah.

Question: Exactly how much can Seth Macfarlane rip off from the actually-talented?

Answer: However many 'Family Guy' episodes exist.

[WaWaTV]

"The cat was the best fuck I ever had" was the only funny part in the whole video. 

[KidsWithGuns1992]

Did steve martin just come out of his mother with grey hair?

[MrStatic62]

funny as fuck

[blondeladrian]

i once thought this guy was funny but hes f-ing lame

[ginger4bailey]

freaking hilarious. llove that last line. I can't find a video of his "happy feet" bit.

[dkempf1]

Genius!!!

[MrManfly]

i have some of this on his album "Wild And Crazy Guy", it's sooooo funny!! :-)

[rocknrollersforevr27]

trying to find one of his jokes called "lets get small" can anyone help?

[TheChknWang]

@rocknrollersforevr27 Bo Burnham sent you here, didn't he? ;)

Let's Get Small is the album name, but there's also a track on the album called Let's Get Small. I'm not sure which Bo is talking about, but if you Google "Let's Get Small", the first thing that comes up should have a picture of the album cover and four tracks. The first is Let's Get Small, but like I said, that's also the album name.

[rocknrollersforevr27]

@TheChknWang haha yupp and thanks so much :D

[rongravy]

former reighning heavyweight comedian of the worldddddddddddddddddddddd.

come back to us, steve.

[iuxdhfiuahui837fhika]

Carlos Mencia is a better comedian than Steve Martin.

[DrinkSkateSleep]

@iuxdhfiuahui837fhika Menstealia

[iuxdhfiuahui837fhika]

The only reason people speak well of him at all is because he seems to be a nice guy and his wittle feelings would be hurt if someone actually told him he wasn't fucking funny. His fame is inexplicable and his legions of "I know more about comedy than you" fans are nothing but snobbish, pathetic yes men

[iuxdhfiuahui837fhika]

Honest to fucking god there's nothing to learn from this. People have sanded this shtick down and it's been improved by other comedians a million times over while Steve Martin was shouting out desperate catchphrases on SNL. He is a bog standard comedian, not a pioneer.

[iuxdhfiuahui837fhika]

Honestly, people spooge all over Steve Martin as if he's some kind of comedy legend even though this material is painfully outdated and even though he hasn't been relevant in fucking decades, reduced to Pink Panther bullshit physical comedy. Lenny Bruce holds up better than this. Lenny Bruce broke more rules than Steve Martin. Steve Martin is a relic best left forgotten.

[rayagainst]

@iuxdhfiuahui837fhika You are an idiot supreme.

[iuxdhfiuahui837fhika]

Overrated shit

[taragamet]

Who are the three people that didnt like this? if you dont like Steve Martin your dumb and i dont like you lol

[SDPaldora1]

Steve Martin is a legend!!!

[WetKant]

What do you know! i still use amateurfilactics....

[MrSean677]

I think I see where Stewie picked up his high voice "working on a little novel" from

[WetKant]

@MrSean677 Fuck yes, I hadn´t noticed

[Darckq]

To deengew, yes we do

[deengew]

you guys actually think this is funny?

[WetKant]

@deengew Wait....YOU DON´T?

[MontyPython246]

Killer punch line... xD

[MERVskilton]

HaPpY 65th BiRtHdAy STEVE MARTiN ~ hope ya get some pussy for ya birthday :-)

[chris71388]

older people may have better music but we have better stand up comedians. This was horrible.

[WetKant]

@chris71388 Go back to Dane Cook you idiot

[chris71388]

@WetKant I will go back to laughing thank you very much. Unlike this video

[WetKant]

@chris71388 So you´re saying this video doesn´t laugh? Well, of course it doesn´t, it is a video. It doesn´t eat either. Now what it does do is make smart people laugh. You know, smart people. Unlike you.

[chris71388]

@WetKant right because you need to be smart to understand that he is using a double entendre to talk about pussy. Look I think Steve Martin is a great awesome dude but the truth is that stand up comedy now is ten levels above anything put out in the 70s or 80s.

[WetKant]

@chris71388 Kids say the darnest things...

[chris71388]

@WetKant i love outsmarting people and they come up with a dumb comment. Truth is I am right and unless you have anything contributing to say about this i will take the victory.

[WetKant]

@chris71388 Dude, you haven´t said anything. You just said "Coke is better than Pepsi". Why? Who knows? What you call "outsmart" or "to be right", is just to state "X is better than Y" without giving reasons. Hell, you don´t even say any names! So if you wanna "outsmart" someone, first you have to say something.

But I´m sure you´re aware of the logical flaws of your entire position.

AsshoIe.

[chris71388]

@WetKant dave chappelle, mitch hedberg, demitri martin, jim gaffigan, dane cook, conan obrian, hell jay leno, blue collar comedy tour guys, george lopez. sarah silverman, louis Ck, zach gallifinakis. comedic stand up is a different game. hell guys i don't even like are at the top of there game. economically speaking it is more of a business and with that comes competition and competitors. it is a bigger game than it was back then you actually need a business plan or talent or both now.

[WetKant]

@chris71388 You lost me at "Dane Cook"

You don´t deserve my attention

[chris71388]

@WetKant once again you can never provide a counter argument. i win. also i was pointing out the economic success of dane cook which is logos. You gave up and I win. I love winning.

[WetKant]

@chris71388 I gave up? No, I refused to play. If wanted to play I´d mention the horrible use of "logos" you just squirted out. Go back to Dane Cook.

[chris71388]

@WetKant yeah you gave up. You came up with a pathetic excuse and you asked me to provide examples and rather than come up with a counter argument you chose to wimp out. The truth is you can bash on Dane Cook all you want but you can't deny his economic and game changing success doubtfully that you can provide a convincing argument as to why you dislike the comedian.

[WetKant]

@chris71388 What amazes me is that you keep trying success and talent as equals. You must be a big Twilight and Justin Bieber fan.

Anyway, you`re just an idiot who thinks he won cause he couldn`t get the other part to participate in some stupid little game. And since I refuse to talk with a Dane Cook fan like you, you call that "winning".

That just shows you`ve never had a real victory in your life. That just shows the word "victory" is so foreign to you as the word "logos".

So try again, hon

[chris71388]

@WetKant ew why did you call me hon? are you a faggot. yes yes you must be. What an amateur. Success does not equal talent but it does show how the business has changed in comedy. In fact I was stating that success does not equal talented. Unless you can show me where I have faulted. I win. Also you are a fagot. I win.

[WetKant]

@chris71388 - You´re a homophobe. - Even if that was cool, the word is "faggot", not "fagot", faggot. - You think "logos" means "a well known fact". - You think material success means quality (sorry, you think "the business has changed comedy", meaning it has changed it for the better. - Considering "logos", "fagot", and your stance on what "quality" means, you´re a materialistic redneck

- You like Dane Cook. - You´re an ignorant, materialistic redneck.

- I win. I own. You lose. You whine.

[chris71388]

@WetKant show me where i said material success means quality. go ahead faggot. I win

[GrungyMcAdams]

@chris71388 show me

[WetKant]

@GrungyMcAdams Grungy McAdams is chris71388. Grungy`s post begins with "show me", and then chris` begins with "show me where i said..."

You can also tell by the childish use of foul language.

Busted, you little fag.

Guess what? I win.

[GrungyMcAdams]

@WetKant As far as I am concerned both of you are childish and you both loose. No one person has brought up a single good point of argument in your pathetic rants. I am asking Chris to show me where he brings up anything relating to the fact that he wins. You know what? all you all are gay and should enjoy the video. NOW I WIN!!!

[TMSVioloncellist]

@WetKant "Childish use of foul language"?? Look who's talking!

[WetKant]

@TMSVioloncellist "Look who's talking!"? Look Who's Talking Too!

[WetKant]

@chris71388 Wait, are we still doing this? I thought you were man enough to face the fact that I won.

Looks like you`re the fag then.

Well, just in case you missed it, I win.

[chris71388]

@WetKant the funny thing is that i have been the only one to show examples to even prove my case. Show me some supporting factors that prove your case and you have an argument. Saying Dane Cook sucks just because that's the cool thing to do is not evidence. So far you have done nothing to prove your case.

[WetKant]

@chris71388 Wait, so we´re ignoring the fact you logged in with another nickname to "support" yourself? the funny thing is that I showed textual evidence ("show me...") and you´ve said nothing. Nothing.

You´re pathetic little fag, hon

I win yet again! Be careful or it could get used to owning you.

[chris71388]

@WetKant wtf are you talking about? wait we are ignoring the fact that i am the only one putting intellectual conversation into this conversation. I win. You have said nothing. You haven't even tried. You are pathetic. I win. :) peace out homie

[chris71388]

@WetKant textual evidence? of what? you have done nothing to defend your case for comedians of this era. Unless you have some logical input or can explain to me how this isn't 4th grade humor, i digress...

[WetKant]

@chris71388 Yeah, you digress. Just like I win.

So...does it hurt to loose? I wouldn´t know

[chris71388]

@WetKant i bet it hurts to get raped in the butt. Which you would know. Still haven't heard a argument from our side. Just pathetic trolling. It feels good to know the other party can't come up with anything smart to say. Your move hun.

[WetKant]

@chris71388 "Hun"? I´m actually flattered you think of me as Attila, a big warrior who has conquered your weak little territory. Anyway, I don´t know what anal rape has to do with Attila, maybe you´re into some gay fetish with big men, which is cool, I´m not gay or anything, but I understand you´re a "fagot", so you just keep coming back to gay imagery.

Anyway, I´ll leave you to keep tasting the penises you like to suck. Which is like...really logos and Dane Cook.

I win....yet again. Fag.

[chris71388]

@WetKant worst comeback ever.

[WetKant]

@chris71388 Yeah, since i already won I lost interest.

Come on, say something really stupid to keep things going!

[chris71388]

@WetKant hmmm something really stupid... ok let me think. You actually have a decent intelligent input in this discussion. There ya go. That was sarcasm by the way.

[WetKant]

@chris71388 Wait, thats AMAZING sarcasm! You must be studying the works of Dane Cook, only that would explain that level of sophistication and creative mastery.

Now THAT´S sarcasm, yours is only the worst comeback ever, "fagot".

[chris71388]

@WetKant cool story bro

[WetKant]

@chris71388 worst comeback ever

I win

[chris71388]

@WetKant ill give you points for that one...

[chris71388]

@WetKant but i get points for being nice. I win.

[WetKant]

@chris71388 But you lose them all for the awkward double post.

I win

[chris71388]

@WetKant it's called being nice. you should try it again kant, Im going to be the bigger man and walk away.

[WetKant]

@chris71388 Yeah, you go be the bigger man and walk away.

I´ll just be the biggest man and win.

[GrungyMcAdams]

@WetKant no Chris definitely won this one. and he walked away. what an amazing person. win goes to Chris.

[WetKant]

@GrungyMcAdams Grungy, I already established with a pretty good argument (the fact you posted the unfinished sentence "show me..." and the fact Chris posted the same line only in a finished sentence) that you are Chris.

So that means Chris is using is other account to "give himself win".

Which is an epic fail, and a sign of internet onanism.

I win.

[chris71388]

@WetKant im going to agree with grungy here. that means you got outvoted 2-1. I will tell you this that grungy is definitely not my roommate.

[WetKant]

@chris71388 I have got you so wrapped up in all of this. My plan worked and there is no need to talk to you anymore. Guess what? I win :)

[chris71388]

@WetKant i love doing this. I win.

[WetKant]

@chris71388 You love doing what? Pretending to be someone else to support yourself? I find that lame, since I rock.

In fact, I rock so much, that I´ve won like 10 times by now (and let´s not even consider the way I´m mindfucking you, heh)

I love doing this. I win.

[chris71388]

@WetKant cool story bro

[WetKant]

@chris71388 I´ve heard that before

[GrungyMcAdams]

@WetKant wow dude. seriously you are a pathetic piece of crap and you really should not be talking.

[GrungyMcAdams]

@WetKant chris71488 does have a point. you are not a very convincing. right k

[WetKant]

@GrungyMcAdams It looks like ignorance does grow on trees.

[AlexandKelsie]

bravo!

[kemosabi4]

Greatest comedian ever. And Seth McDouchelane completely stole the rising pitch to use in his shitty jokes about Stewie and Brian's book.

[Tru3Innovator77]

@kemosabi4 You do know Seth only writes some of the material for his show, not to mention Steve Martin got that rising pitch from something else.

[kemosabi4]

@Tru3Innovator77

But he's the producer, he has control over the writing, and does quite a fair share himself. And where did Stevie Boy happen to steal the rising pitch from, again?

[michigangirl1994]

Amateur-phylactic! Hilarious

[DFUSIONITE]

steve martin is a comic genius!

[06rivergirl]

LEGEND !!!!

[WetKant]

awesome

[paranoidpfanclub]

i wonder if he got a lot of Cat after this show!

[WetKant]

probably

[forkoshaya]

HAHA Funny as hell :D

[franklanguage]

"That cat was the best fuck I ever had" Classic.

[nineblackkasabian]

@franklanguage way to ruin the joke for everyone, asshole. haha

[bebeni89]

@franklanguage you ruin it for the rest of us though...

[popikihgdgfxctyuxrfg]

Awesome

[JakeyCochraneWHU]

Fantastic video