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From: TurboDally
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  • hysterical :D

  • I'm a Christian, and you know what? This is really fucking funny. And true.

    Christians are dumbasses.

  • @JakAttack12345 "I'm a Christian... Christians are dumbasses."

    Are you joking or are you really proudly saying you're a dumbass?

    Or are we talking about some different flavors here (in which case, qualifiers to both yourself and the "other" Christians would be nice).

  • you know exepting god in your heart and beleiving will be the best thing you have ever done see people take life for granted why dont you ask yoreselfs how did i get on this earth who mad the earth then read the first book of the bible genisis 1:1 in the begining god created the heavens and the earth : )

  • @Mr14tghm Stop being stupid

  • I too am a non-christian, just like most christians. New favorite bill maher quote and my own viewpoint too

  • I love the shitty wig!

  • Why does that white trash Bill O'Reilly keep talking about all those BS "judeo-Christian" values? Jews don't consider themselves as Christians.

  • Nice toupee! One of my fav You Tube videos. Love Bill Maher!

  • Atheism is a Religion, because you believe, you have faith there is no God without proof. When you die, it is only then you see the truth.

    Go back to the definition of faith. Faith is believing in something without proof. Religion is a cause, principle, or system of beliefs held to with ardor and faith. Atheism is defined as the doctrine or belief that there is no God. Therefore Atheism is a religion.

  • @Angellicationify Atheism isn't about faith. It's a lack of faith. Atheism is the rejection of all theistic beliefs/claims that any god exists. When U reject a belief U lack that belief, Therefor Atheism isn't a religion. Some Atheists say there isn't a god. Some say they're not sure a god exists. Some say they don't believe a god exists. There isn't a common bond uniting Atheists other than They don't have faith that a god exists.

  • @Angellicationify i am atheist.. i know this is hard for you to get but when you are atheist you dont "believe" there is no god. there would be no point in believing a negative. my guess is you subscribe to a theistic religion, for some reason those people cant grasp this concept.

  • Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!! Thats the funniest ive seen him yet! Its late n I couldnt help but laugh out loud. think I mite hav woke someone. HAhahahaha!

    God he's good! I mean God he's bad.

  • I LOVE IT! 

  • This is awesome. I LOVE IT!! To believe in something that can't possible be true, like "Jesus", "Mohammed", and "Xenu". To blindly follow something without proof means you are part of a CULT.

  • Do we thank God for Bill Maher ?

  • LMAO!!!!

  • how can you religious conservatives really compare bill clinton getting a blowjob to the fucked up shit bush did. i dont care about a presidents sex life, but i do care when they say they god wants them to invade countries and shit. sara palin always says that god wants this war and that our troops are warriors of god. religion does not belong in politics.

  • Yet another Bill Maher attempt to be funny that failed..... This appeals to the lowest common denominator, the hypocrites who talk about tolerance but are anything but when it comes to something they disagree with.... Reguardless the topic, Bill Maher has never been funny, just desperate, like Kramer haha

  • @dudeman1109

    So you decided to watch his videos because you thought he wasn't funny?

  • @dudeman1109Criticism is NOT intolerance. Bill Maher, a multimillionaire comedian, has NEVER been funny? hmmmm: Even if you don't like his brand of humor, I think it's fair to say that's not a very well-thought-out statement. Bill Maher accepts the rights of other people (within reason) to believe whatever they like; That's called, at least in a legal sense, tolerant. I understand you not liking Bill Maher, but unfunny/intolerant? I am not trying to be a jerk btw. I just randomly read this.

  • From the vid, I guess God's too afraid of New Englanders to pull any shit on us. LOL ^_^

  • The Ultra-orthodox Jews in Israel will not serve in the Israeli army because they know that Almighty God was not behind the creation of modern Israel, but rather the rich ungodly apostate Jews. They refuse to serve the ungodly.EVERYTHING about the Zionist state of Israel is Anti-jew , anti Christ and birthed through illuminati, freemasons, zionists all together for NWO world domination the vehicle to create a false Messiah you support the zionist state of israel you bow your knee to Baal.

  • If your human you have to admit...this is funny!

  • @wilhard45

    I don't blame him, Christian conservatives are amongst the dumbest people around with so much power. They're also the most hypocritical - whining about big government but not when it comes to imposing their religious values on others. If you're a Christian/Muslim tough shit, you deserve the mockery, you do after all believe that atheists are hellworthy :P

  • @TurboDally - LOVE the Dallas Trinity name and his blow-dried hairstyle a la Oral Roberts. It hits the nail on the head here, and as a former Catholic, I can't help but to laugh my head off over this! I can't stand these types and love to mock the heck out of them! Love Bill Maher. I do wish he'd settle down and stop frequenting the Playboy mansion. He needs an intelligent, good woman who's on his side. Bill, come on! You can find a good woman, can't you?

  • @TurboDally Imposing their religion? How are they imposing their religion?

  • @eheister2006 Any possible way, force for example, happens everywhere. They have no tolerance for other people beliefs, in schools atheist kids are bullied, harrased and beaten down by catolic kids. That's how they represent their faith, their god, and where do whey learn that? From their parents ofc and so it circulates... those that belive the most in god are afraid of him, they live in fear cause it's god who can send them to hell

  • @Deadline2602 I am sure there a Christians that fit your description, it is a small minority from my experience.

  • @wilhard45 Wrong, talk about fucking halarious. This is satire and it burns like a bitch so deal with it. If you don't like being made fun of for being so fucking retarded well, idk maybe just stop being so fucking retarded.

  • @adiosucks123

    Me? Look retarded? And this from an illiterate piece of garbage?

    Bill Maher is an idiot. He would be the guy cracking jokes at the Jews walking to the Nazi ovens. Maher wouldn't know satire if it slapped him up side his head.

  • @wilhard45 Bill Maher is questioning your judgement, since you belive in judgement day. He cant make fun Bill Clinton because thats old. Why did Slick willie lied about a blowjob because he was married. What about the other hypocrites On the right wing side? like Rev. Ted Haggard and Larry Craig? And he is making mostly fun of conservatives, because youre the ones being stupid.

  • @Kimmis1990 - "judgment."

  • @wilhard45 probably because bill clinton and monica was over 10 years ago and that joke has been beat to death already. but mainly because Christianity is fucking retarded and so easy to make fun of. thats what he does and thats why a certain group of people like him. he takes these stupid fairy tales and makes fun of them :) like they deserve.

  • @dudeonthasopha

    Christianity retarded? Maybe but no more so than your silly, immature reply. Like it or not, Christianity has been the single largest influence in Western culture for the last 2,000 years. Bill Maher will be here another couple of decades and then gone. He will go leaving no trace and Christianity will still be here. You are even less of a blip on the screen of historical importance. If this post is all you have to make you feel important, go for it. I prefer my religion.

  • @wilhard45 just because its bigger doesnt mean its good and when i look at the past i mainly think of christians forcing conversions, and killing "heretics" for 900 years. I would prefer not to be associated with such a backwards ideology filled with a past of murder. there is a reason when religion was in charge it was called the dark ages and when people questioned the church it was called the renaissance (rebirth) religion in a historical perspective will show halting of human potential

  • @dudeonthasopha NICE!!!! 10 out of 5 :) (tips hat)

  • This was some funny shit! LOL :O)

  • This is MY kind of cool comedy.

    What show is this from???

  • @Multimixvideos

    It's from Bill Maher's show called "Real Time". He does these little skits called "New Rules" in his show which tend to be hilarious :)

  • @TurboDally

    Thanks for letting me know. I love "Real Time" but skits like this is something I've never seen from "Real Time".

    Question, I'm really curious and I don't have HBO. What happened to that show? Why aren't they running anymore???

  • lmao

  • Comment removed

  • @AoSSaint

    "why do Athiests try to rationalize everything? And when they cant, they blame God?"

    They don't...However when the case arises that people try to attribute all good things to god whilst taking the blame for all the bad, we can then pull out the earthquake/birth defects etc etc.

    And yeah, I would flame grill your ass for having asked this! Oh wait, I'd be imitating the hell that god made, oh wait I'm not supposed to talk about....Ahhh my head!

  • Its' not that we are actually blaming "god". What we mean when we say things like that is for christians/believers who seem to praise "god" for all the good. Now I don't believe in a god so I wouldn't see something that happened and say "dammit god why did you have to do it!".. however when a christian says to me, "look at all the good god has done" I will often come back with the bad things that have happened and ask, "what was he thinking at those times?"

  • @AoSSaint It's basically just to throw them off and make them realize that if there is a god, he isn't so merciful and great. More like a petty, jealous, intolerant, hateful tyrant. But of course they always seem to come back with "god has a plan for everything! everything happens for a reason!" But then when I ask why would he do those things, what could the reason possible be, they just repeat themselves and it's like talking to a 5 year old, they don't think into it logically.

  • @AoSSaint

    Very funny indeed. But I wonder if Maher will have the same fierce critisism against the jewish religion? Or the pseudo religion called zionism. I wonder why? Could it be his jewish mother, making him a jew, or at least a half-jew as Maher identifies himself. It seams there is one taboo he does not want to touch, and that is a fundamental moral critique on zionism (as much a fairy tale as the bible) and the role of the jewish israel lobby in selling this fantasy of a jewish state.

  • @AoSSaint - I simply must point out the blatant errors in your statement. We rationalize (we don't 'try', we actually 'do') because rationality, logic and reason are what we practice. Without these three concepts all you have is 'faith' and we leave that to the deluded masses of corrupted poor and blissfully uneducated.

    And when we can't explain something - such as an untested or unproven theory - we don't say 'it's the Judeo-Christian god' We say we don't know and continue our research!

  • @AoSSaint Hm... I've never heard any atheists blaming God for anything.... they don't believe in God you see. If you know an atheist who has, it sounds like they're not really sure what they are or are confused about what atheism is.

  • @AoSSaint Oh yeah, and wouldn't you say Christians rationalize as well? Atheists say that God doesn't make a natural disaster happen, tectonic plates do, while a Christian might believe the natural disaster was caused by God or Satan. Christians and Atheists both have a way of rationalizing what they see happening in the world around them, they only have different reasons.

  • @AoSSaint im a flying dwarf, do you want to rationalize that?

  • @AoSSaint An atheist doesn't blame god for anything. That goes against the whole idea of being atheist. People say things because of their upbringing, common speech, like when you hit yourself with a hammer and scream "JESUS CHRIST!", that's not professing that you're a christian, thought unprovoked,

  • It's not atheists or religious people that are the issue. It's people that are issue. People who use both as a means to justify getting what they want. But religion definitely has more people doing it.

  • hahahahahaha

  • Go Bill hehehe

  • Cristianity is comming back to spain.The pope will come to madrid in 2011 and the 50 % of the cost will be payed with TAXES! The non cristians dont pay diezmos ( a medieval tax paid to the lord presit of the zone))

  • this was funny as fuck! love bill

  • "Modern day atheists worship science and believe much the same thing."

    We do not avoid the joys of life because we believe in science. We don't wake up every day in the morning and say "praise the scientific methodology!". We don't bow towards the laboratories and particle accelerators. We admit that science is limited, but nevertheless - currently the best method by which we discover/validate things. For "worshippers" we don't seem to be doing "worshipping" of science all too well.

  • "Like atheists stealing consecrated hosts and desecrating them"

    With your reasoning, I can remind of you of the atheists killed by Hitler, the atheists killed by Christians & Muslims & use that to claim that all god believers are dictators. If anything, the atheists you argue with on my channel, have honesty and compassion - something the dictators you compare us with, don't have.

  • "They believed that religion blinded people from reality"

    Don't you believe that us being non-religious blinds us from "reality"? So that must mean you are a potential dictator willing to kill atheists for their disbelief right?

    "needed to be eradicated in order for society to progress"

    Poverty also needs to be eradicated for society to progress. Do I eradicate poverty by killing all the poor or helping them out of poverty?

  • Intelligencer is a fag lol

  • Rapture has been moved once again, nothing remains after that, I lol'ed

  • lmao Bill Maher is a comedic genius.

  • Thank you bill for telling it how it is!!! LOVE IT

  • another fine example of jewish hate speech

  • This is pure genius.

    Take that Pat Robertson!

    (Oh what a difference it would make if we looked at the Bible as lessons in irony)

  • @drfoxcourt Your comment is brilliant as well:

    "What a difference it would make if we looked at the Bible as lessons in irony"

  • Did you notice that Bill Maher is still alive, unplagued? I guess Pat Robertson et alia can't reconcile his God's will with that fact.

    I'm not in favor of hurting innocent idiots but I do hope Liberty University is destroyed like Gamorah and that other place ;-)

    (maybe not, the charlatans-for-Christ would play it off as a "trails of Job" thing) Drat!

    Thanks for the vote of confidence Kannon12.

  • go away you fucking douche....i just finished masturbating to Jesus Christ's picture.

  • It's in the Bible because it was already ingrained in the Society for thousands of years.

    Right-Wing idiot!!!

  • Those could also be considered secular values if we are being honest. What people do not like is the arrogance and hypocrisy that "christians" so often portray. Deuteronomy says that unruly children, as well as non-virgin brides, should be put to death. God's "laws" are supposed to be unchanging, but most people don't subscribe to these "values" anymore. I'd be willing to bet that most "christians" have never even read those passages.........Juz sayin'

  • What the hell is anarchy? Give us a coherent definition and maybe you'll have a case.

  • anyone who doesnt know what anarchy is should never use the word coherent... idiot

  • The etymological definition of "anarchy" is "lack of hierarchy" or 'without a chief," but the word is hardly used to mean that, so when people use the word "anarchy" they're typically not being productive, hence my looking down upon MotionFrequency, typical brainwashed Christian. You probably think that "anarchy" equates to "chaos" or "disorder" but you can go ahead and think of me as an idiot. This is the internet. I'm hardly offended.

  • ALL OF THOSE ARE LOOKED DOWN UPON BY THE HINDI FAITH! and Hindi is older then Christianity

  • Those are not Christian values,those are human values. I don't need a magical sky daddy to tell me that that those things are immoral and hurtful to other people before I realize that it is so.

    All those teachings of Christianity are fine, what people dislike about Christianity are things such as, oh I dunno, the Bible saying that adulterers should be stoned to death, for one example, and the general hate, intolerence and bigotry it stirs up about unbelievers and people who are different.

  • That's freakin' brilliant...

  • when they first showed bill it was hilarious

    big hair

  • My condolences.

  • lol thanks for posting this.

  • Not funny.

  • Says the man who would be pissing himself with laughter if Bill was making fun of any other religion.

  • Nope. I don't believe in anti-religious prejudice at all. I would not laugh if Bill was making fun of Jews, Sikhs, Muslims, or any other religion you can think of.

  • It is not anti-religious at all, but anti-fundie.

  • "It is not anti-religious at all, but anti-fundie."

    That's kind of like saying, "It's not racist at all, just anti-black."

  • I disagree, for fundies have nothing to do with religion. I have noticed that religious people strive to achieve a peace with in themselves, and fundies strive to cause pain for all who disagree with them.

  • which isn't racist at all

    Its called being a bigot.

    racist: hating all races differant than your own.

    bigot:Targeting one specific group of people.

    L2 Dictionary

  • Oh, okay. So Maher is a bigot.  Thanks for the clarrification.

  • lol now you gone and made him say that Maher is a bigot (perhaps because he's targetting fundies?) :D

  • Might be a very accurate description. Though Since I do not get HBO often enough to watch him, I cannot say if he only ever targeted fundies or if he satirizes every religion fairly.

    If so, then Maher is a master troll and deserves all highest honors.

    And if he is a bigot then big deal. Most christians who follow the convert or go to hell are hypocrites to their religions core belief and are acting more like ancient Jewish people (Thinking their religion is the one right religion).might be wrong

  • @TurboDally it's called word diaria :)

  • so if you only hate black people your not a racist? you have to hate everyone but your own group? well that makes the word useless

  • But there is reason to be anti- religious, not to be anti black...

  • The colour of somebody's skin doesn't affect me and my freedom at all, but his beliefs do. Especially when they have the majority on their side.

  • how is being racist supported by anthing apart from the bible?

  • @chrisman737

    Dumb motherfuckers like you DESERVE to get ridiculed! HA HA! Keep up the good work, Bill! Fuck ALL you insane religious fucks!

  • Religious motherfuckers need to get ridiculed. Not all religious people are harmful, but we still need to exterminate the BULLSHIT. The extermination is inevitable. The TRUTH will prevail. Don't think you know something when you DON'T. Just honestly say, "I don't know".

  • @lotanddaughters

    I think falling on your knees, holding hands, singing songs, talking to old man in a cloud with the hope he will listen to your request for health, love, new car, better job, longer dick and whatnot.... is ridicules enough. It really can't get better than that :)

  • @lotanddaughters Good answer. Probably the best one on here. Not every priest is as radical as Louis Ferrakhan, Benny Hinn, Pat Robertson and John Hagee. And those clowns are the bullshit you are referring to right?

  • @chrisman737

    I think you confused. Atheism is not a religion with list of 10 rules. People follow nature given common sense, common decency, ethics and morale, which we develop over time, by living in groups as social animals. As if all the christians were perfect. I can go to the mall now, and come across 20 people wearing cross, and they will be bigots, alcohol abusers, gossip, jealous etc... We are like anybody else, minus the Crazy factor and with just a small pinch reason and common sense

  • @SebaKL88 well now you sound like a bigot don't get me wrong i'm against religion myself but not everyone involved in it is crazy or any of those negative things you're talking bout most people on the planet

  • @mustxgetxout

    Sorry, I just can't for the love of god (only metaphorically), comprehend how a healthy, rational and intelligent person can possibly believe in a fairy tale. There is something fundamentally wrong with it, and just because it's reinforced by millions of people with same belief, does not make it less crazy. It's still crazy, just on large scale. Don't dismiss it just because it happens to such vast group of people.

  • @SebaKL88 i'm just saying i've been behind enemy lines and the church is bout feeling better bout death it's a crutch like alcohol ever met an alcoholic who says he isn't one well it's that same attitude with christianity you know what im saying?

  • @SebaKL88, oh yes. Atheism -- common sense and decency. Like atheists stealing consecrated hosts and desecrating them, and, when in charge of a government, imprisoning, torturing, and even killing those who believe in God. Yes, common sense and decency -- like robbery, torture, and murder. Thanks for the clarification.

  • chrisman737

    I have no idea what are you taking about, tho needles to say, you didn't put much thought in to your reply, didn't you ?

    ...torturing, killing those who DO NOT believe, robbery, murder.. done for past 2k years by Christians.

    Crusade by Pope Urban II against Muslims in the Holy Lands, Northern Crus., Crus. against the Eastern Orthodox Church, Crus. against Albigenses, Cathar and Waldensians, The Children's Crusade etc... do some reading before you embarrass yourself further....

  • @SebaKL88, you have no idea what I am talking about? Hmmm....perhaps you need to do some reading. The Crusades were mostly to recover lands stolen by the Muslims, and, even then, to only secure a safe path for pilgrims to travel to and from the holy places, NOT to take over the entire region. The Crusades were small potatoes compared to the atrocities of the atheists controlling the USSR and the atheists controlling Maoist China.

  • @chrisman737

    Stalin, Lenin and the like problem with religion was political not religious. Religious recognizes an authority greater than these dictators, which bothered them greatly. People were killed in the name of hunger for power, in pursue of absolute power and authority, hence religion had to give way. No one ever killed anyone in name of Atheism, but they did and continue to do in name of religion.

    Thank you for reinforcing my point.

  • @SebaKL88, it is not a case of either/or, but both/and. People were killed in the name of hunger for power, in the name of authority -- and why? Because atheistic communism was that to which they gave allegiance. They honestly believed that religion blinded people from reality ("opiate of the people") and so needed to be eradicated in order for society to progress (according to the communist agenda). Modern day atheists worship science and believe much the same thing.

  • @chrisman737

    Worship means to revere something as a god. The difference between Stalin, and the Crusades is that it is impossible to kill in the name of Atheism. But it is possible to kill in the name of god. The Crusades was a time during the Dark Ages where religion had too much power. The Church told the soldiers to kill because God had commanded it, thus justifying their actions (in their mentality) Hitler was a Roman Catholic, but believed his German Blood to be superior.

  • @DanielxMorningstar, well, I can see I am wasting my time. Impossible to kill in the name of atheism? Of course it is possible. People will kill for just about any reason. Don't underestimate human cruelty. Hitler believed his German Blood to be superior? Really? Please re-read your history. Hitler was not German.

  • @chrisman737

    How do you kill for lack of belief? There is literally nothing in common between Atheists (because of Atheism) besides their disbelief. He was German, and even if he wasn't, he still believed his blood to be superior. Which is why he preached about the Aryian Race. Even though he wasn't physically one himself. Don't underestimate the Insane you mean. No normal Human being would kill another. Only the Sociopaths and Pyschopaths do.

  • @DanielxMorningstar

    My non-hobby of chess prompts me to kill anyone who plays chess.

  • @DanielxMorningstar, I don't even know why I am wasting my time, but one more post to correct your errors. Atheists can kill in the name of atheism, regardless of what they have in common with other atheists. Hitler was not German, he was Austrian. Aryian Race? Wrong spelling. There are plenty of people besides sociopaths and psychopaths who kill : i.e., those executing a criminal, those engaged in war, those defending themselves, etc... I don't even know why I bother to post here any more.

  • @chrisman737

    Then don't bother posting. Whether you do or don't, doesn't change the fact that you're ill informed. Atheists don't kill because of Atheism, there is no reason to do good or bad because of Atheism. Let's change the word kill with Murder. Murder being intentionally killing a human with malice aforethought. Self defense is justifed homicide, and war, well so long as humans have major differences, it's gonna happen, executing seems more merciful then life in prison (equals death)

  • @chrisman737

    Atheists who are actively against Religion are Anti Religious, Atheists are not the only Anti Religious people out there. Atheists who want to do good for everyone are Secular Humanists. Atheism is nothing more then lack of belief, as in void of, non existing belief. If you kill another human being regardless of situation, you are forever changed. Because killing another human goes against our Survival instincts.

  • @chrisman737 atheists NEVER kill in the name of atheism, there is not ONE recorded instance of this in human history, stop being a twat.

  • @yatter1, atheists kill in the name of whatever they put in place of God. For atheists in the USSR, they saw belief in God as a mental illness (classified as such by the Soviet government). But there must be some higher authority to which people can look for direction. So the Soviet atheists put themselves in God's place. Atheism is a dangerous vacuum -- one that is easily filled with crazed atheistic opportunists.

  • @DanielxMorningstar I agree entirely except for one thing, it´s not only sociopaths and psychopaths that kill, religious people do too, and purely because they are religious, god demands it of them, so that makes it perfectly fine.

  • @yatter1

    True. It's why I am Anti Religious. The belief in a higher power that is above Human Laws, which are the same laws that ensure our survival in society, is extremely dangerous. They believe God demands certain things. The best solution I can come up with is, killing in the name of God or because of religious belief is equal to murder, and punishable in the same way. And make it against the law as in threatening, when they mention such actions without acting, to avoid possible homocide.

  • @DanielxMorningstar

    Hitler was NOT an atheist, he was a beliving catholic.

    So if you look at the catholic history........... pretty NORMAL in THEIR standards.

  • @Se1ander

    Did I say Hitler was an Atheist? I don't think I did. I am well aware that he was a Roman Catholic and mentioned he was doing God's will in Meinkampf. (or however you spell it)

  • @DanielxMorningstar

    No, you didn't that was probably why I pointed it out.

    You spelled Meinkampf correctly by the way.

  • @chrisman737

    Jack ate a sandwich because he was hungry -- and why? Because atheistic communism was that to which he gave allegiance. WAIT, didnt I just say it was because he was hungry??....

  • Was response to:

    it is not a case of either/or, but both/and. People were killed in the name of hunger for power, in the name of authority -- and why? Because atheistic communism was that to which they gave allegiance. They honestly believed that religion blinded people from reality ("opiate of the people") and so needed to be eradicated in order for society to progress (according to the communist agenda). Modern day atheists worship science and believe much the same thing.

  • There's a reason to be anti everything

  • now that you find this not funny. Reflect.

  • Favorited!

  • god sucks ... and so does he who invented him.

    :)

  • @MissAnthropic66 nooo the followers of em suck on gods you know what ;)

  • @MissAnthropic66  The church created God is their own image, Anger, Hatred, intollerance and bigotry!

  • FUNNY

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