More Trans then Thou

[RainbowRaversFantasy]

If it helps shed any light on this, being trans here has gained a similar effect to bisexuality. I've noticed that young teens have begun seeing bisexuality as "cool" and many of them lie and say that they're bi when they're not, cause they want to be a part of it. My social circle is made up of many trans people, so I've noticed that certain people would trick themselves into believing they're trans...and then later on learning that they are not. This causes a lot of the "More trans" attitude.

[SirLionelLeo]

Eleven pills a day?!

Jesus.

That makes FTM transition sound like a watered down pussy version of transition. Most transguys get one shot a week and we're good until that next shot... Sort of puts things into perspective.

I haven't ever had to deal with the Trannier than Thou attitude yet because I haven't started transition but I'll look out for them. And I'll just have to laugh.

[krisagui]

OMG i have to say THANK U for posting this video in 2007...I have to hear things like: "You didn't suffer enough" "u are almost gay than trans" or even "i don't think u're gonna do srs"...I only can say i don't care if my brain can be less feminine than that of another transgirl or borngirl...cause that's normal, we're all different...

[Allophyl]

I don't think I'd be able to take that pill. I am a girl, it is a part of who I am, and if I took that pill, it would have to change who I am, my personality. I'd be a completely different person. I couldn't do that. I am a girl and I want to be a girl, and as hard as transition is, I'd rather go through it than take a pill that would make me happy to live as a boy. I just don't want to change who I am.

[livingsoul12066]

I think "trannier than thou" is kind of retarded, but I still worry that I wouldn't pass a psych evaluation for T because I didn't really think about being a boy until about a month ago.

[Suggestivetheory]

I know how you feel. I read about people who are trans, that say they've felt really like they should be the other gender since they were very young. I've only really SERIOUSLY thought about it...for maybe 8 months.

Sometimes it makes me worry... you know,.. Like, is it just...a passing phase? or... is this really REALLY how I feel?

I especially have a hard time with it, because... I feel like I approach masculinity differently than allot of trans guys.

.. Sorry if that was random.

[livingsoul12066]

Yeah, that's what I mean. It's more like I want a male body than anything else. One thing is, I was raised thinking that showing emotions was a good thing, so I guess society in general will always perceive me as a little effeminate.

I'm pretty sure hormone therapy will help, but I just don't feel a need to not laugh at jokes and not cry at movies. It doesn't make me any less masculine in my own eyes.

[Suggestivetheory]

I completely agree! I don't feel like I want to change how I feel about things... it's more about wanting a male body.

I think thats so cool that you feel that way.

It's nice to know that while it seems to be uncommon, the viewpoint isn't nonexistant. XD

[livingsoul12066]

Exactly =)

[geniek13]

Deep,really deep inside me is a girl....there you are I said it.

[avrilissoamazing]

Trannier than thou... my new catch phrase.. is that how you spell Trannier??

[quinthe1st]

If there were a pill that would make me happy as a female, I would take it as well... lol.

And the 'trannier than thou' thing is just silly and sprouted out of insecurities, no doubt. I think I completely skipped that phaze... but I didn't come out till I had desided within myself without a doubt that I was a transman rather than just a confused, angsty teen girl. However, I have constant worries that someone will tell me I'm not trans enough... and I'll never say it to someone else.

[LindsayStone]

I have so noticed this so many times also in our community. I have several times other Trans people tell others such things. I think I have noticed it tends to play out more with Trans Girls. I think it has something to do with how it's more common to hear the cattiness that I've notices between women. As far as wanting to be trans goes I can't really see anyone wanting to be trans, I myself tried just about everything else to avoid having to deal with being trans. Good Video by the way

[GLBTQcommunity]

i agree. It sucks ass that people are like that "ooh, I've been going on blockers since I was nine, have YOU?"

[nathanielgfunk3]

I agree with you..if I could take a pill to be "a happy girl" then..I would..but I'm not..it sucks..and I'm just learning to cope and accept myself..so I can move on and finally transition..and not feel like a freak. It's funny..I feel like a freak like this..and I would feel normal once I transitioned..lol..oh, life!

[pgy001]

It's amazing how much hate there is in the LGBT community ITSELF! Lots of gays hate lesbians and vice-versa, and lot of gays AND lesbians hate trannies. I don't get it.

[pgy001]

People have told me I'm not trans b/c I'm attracted to WOMEN!

[AndrogyneMichinaga]

I think that there is a process in one's coming to terms with oneself as being L,G,B or T, where some of us will try to define ourselves in distinction from others. It's kind of like the Little Britain character Dafydd who thinks he is "the only gay in the village." He overdoes how excluded he is so that he can reinforce his identity, and some TG people seem to want to fit us all into stereotypes, lest it devalue their own TG self.

[plainolderica]

yes, they're everywhere, even here

[Iargainn]

I completely agree with everything you said.

I would also take a pill. To me that seems a better option than the surgeries, etc. that I'm planning right now, especially as a transguy b/c the surgeries leave a *lot* to be desired.

[crimsonrecluse]

I'm set for my first electrolysis appt in 2 days. I tried laser twice, but my hair is too light in color to get the full affect. It was interesting to read comments about the different pain levels here. Laser was very painful to me, so I'm a bit scared. Thanks for the thought provoking vid.

[Flipup2]

Icecoldbath. You talk about a 'boy life' and a 'girl life'. What do you mean by this? Most biological female don't know what girl life is. I am female, I don't really wear makeup and I like sport and am into quite tomboyish things eg fishing, beer etc. I still don't want to be a man. Explain! Thanks.

[GLBTQcommunity]

icky facial hair! X-P

i wich i had some

[CynicalCustom]

If there was a "boy pill" that took care of things, that would be scientific geniousness....But such is not the case...There is no NEED for it.. You are beautiful in regards to your personality, your emotions, and your physical being....Do NOT stop doing what you do, you are inspiration for others and personal aweness for myself...in regards to the fact that everything you've done in your blogs I've completely admired....You're nothing short of great Ashley. I love you for who you are.

[sarge1186]

if that pill existed, i wouldn't hesitate to take it

[tobinsjourney]

there are ftms who do that too... its so freakin annoying. its like when my father told me i wasn't trans bc i didn't come out when i was 2 like that kid on 20/20. i told him that back in 87 people weren't even out as gay... or most people. great video!! you are fabulous.

[theroachyjay]

Yeahhhh I presented practically the same thought to susan's tg forum back when I went there.. I got kind of jumped on when I suggested the idea of something that would make one happy with their assigned sex and it made me kind of uncomfortable.

[theroachyjay]

They were kind of bitching about how it wasn't trans to do something like that since it would be changing the gender of the transgender or something... I thought it was kind of extreme and I think thats when I started doubting myself a bit.. but all I had to do was spend some time to reflect on what brought me to the self-realization of being transgender, and I remember who I am...

[theroachyjay]

Of course, sometimes, I personally wonder: If I were born a girl, would I have wanted to be a boy? Personally, I identity more with the female gender than the male one but have mixed emotions about my body. I actually kind of like it. I don't think that makes me any less trans..

[theroachyjay]

Maybe for me its the limitations I feel as being one gender that I am trans. That... being forced into one of two worlds when I just might rather be able to explore both. Its different for all, though. Everyone's an individual.

If you're trans or not, you know it. Its between you and you not society and you just as your orientation, or your preference in food.

[GenieP]

Ashley: Yeah, darling, but I went through the torture of electrolysis in the 1970s AND now I am 56 years old and I am going back for endless touch ups. I wonder where the hell all this damned hair comes from!! I am not more trans than anyone, I am just me. Love ya!

[GenieP]

Oh,yeah, Ashley, I would not take the "magic pill" that would make me happy as a boy. I am post-op and all my dangling male parts are functioning beautifully elswhere. Nope! I am deliriously happy as the 56-year old woman I am. But, thanks anyway!

[PassingDream]

Hey, you know, I just signed up to say:

TY for including transguys. Yeah, we are left out a bit, huh?

So many people think they need to push other people down to push themselves up. I definitely remember being TS-identified and thinking TG people were going to "ruin it" for us. (Ruin what? That tiny bit of understanding we might get?) It is insecurity.

[leonardo0200]

I love the intimacy between me and my electrologist, the way she positions her latex fingers on my skin and penetrates my skin with her needle and tweezers the hair out. fast then slow she egarly scowlers my face searching for hairs. I breath in and out by reaction only, feeling the electric burn in my follicle.

[icecoldbath]

if you ruin sex for me by this, i will rip out penis so you will never have a vagina! ;)

[patsytime]

Remember that every time you post a video you (and the other transpeople that post) are helping many others to come to terms with their feelings and to know that they are not alone. Best wishes to you.

[undead365]

Stop me if you've heard this one: "You're not trans because you claim to be trans. Real trans girls are just 'girls'"

I kid you not, I have actually heard this one.

[icecoldbath]

Haha. Oh people and their insecurities. Its a mad world.

[gothique11]

Electro hurts, although not as bad as laser. Laser really hurts. It's worth it, although. The pain sux. It really does. Holier-than-you-tran-ppl suck, too.

[icecoldbath]

I have had laser three times. Electro hurt me 10 times worse and laser is only like 20 minutes long. I guess different people have different reactions.

[gothique11]

it could be the laser used, too. I hear that makes a difference. For electro, I guess it depends on the machine and who is doing it. Electro feels sorta like a mosquito bite. I have't had much, so I could imagine if it took a long time it would start feeling worse.

[gothique11]

For me, laser feels like I'm getting hit with a very hot poker in the face. I use skin numbing stuff, but I'm too sensitive and I still feel the pain. I cry when I go, I've fainted once from the pain, and I've gone into shock. Not fun, but after 5 lasers I get only the odd hair now.

[EdensxDemise]

Great video , and its good to see that your bringing up a topic some people dont tend to care about discussing !

[grishno]

You're not Masculine enough!

[icecoldbath]

A real man can crush the internet with his mind powers.

[kaleyraven]

Hi Ashy~ Sorry I haven't been up to chatting or helping lately =( I miss you more than I can say. >.<

I think you're right, so right. We are who we are, how we feel, and what we hope for. The hows and whys of it don't count for much in the end, just so long as we're happy. That's what is important when all is said and done~ ^^

[aire420]

i dont get it my self. but i think your right about thous ttt.

[just7me7emelia]

How can anyone be more tranny? Are there gayer gays? or Holier Christians? Someone struggles their life trying to be something just for others to accuse them of being fake..

on second though, I'm the Queen Tranny! Obey me! Muhaha

[icecoldbath]

*curtsies*

[tuuLi]

If I was offered a pill that would make me feel like a man, I wouldn't take it. It would feel like suicide. I would however take a pill if it would stop me from feeling inferior to other women.

[tuuLi]

I think people usually are "trannier than thou" because they feel less tranny themselves. I would happily be less tranny, though. I hate looking like a man in women's clothing. To many people I'm not man or woman, I'm trans. It sucks. Anyway, great vid! Post more happy vids!

[icecoldbath]

I think you miss the point of the pill. The pill makes you feel whole and complete as a man. It would make it end ALL and EVERY thought of thinking or being a woman. You would be offended by being told to transition, like cisgendered people feel. It would make you cisgendered.

[tuuLi]

But how can the pill do that without destroying some important part of my being? I don't want to change inside. I want to change outside. To me changing my mind, my soul or whatever, is like killing me and replacing me with someone who is just like me (at least outside), but who feels like a man inside.

[icecoldbath]

Hmm interesting. I guess the answer depends on how much of your personality is wrapped up in your physical body/gender identity. I think I could be the exact same person as a boy if I could stand actually being one. Perhaps for you your personality is deeply connected to the shape of your physical body?

[kaleyraven]

Mmmm... I can't be sure, but I feel like a 'me' who was perfectly content and happy being a boy wouldn't be the same 'me' that I am now. It would be a me who enjoys and desires different things, who perceives things differently, who responds to things differently. It wouldn't be the same core me as I am now.

Does that make any sense?

[tuuLi]

Makes perfect sense.

[thoughtisfragile]

TuuLi, I agree with wholly agree with you. If one changes central aspects of perception and reaction they are in fact changing central aspects of their self. From where I stand, this pill would amount to a pharmacological lobotomy. Certainly it would make things easer, but at what cost?

Besides, if were imagining pharmaceutical wonders of a new age I'd rather have nanobots build me a new body from the DNA up. ;P

~Tabitha

[thoughtisfragile]

Grammar drunk when hard.

[Ladybeth5000]

You nailed it. There some who transition to be Transsexual, which makes me shrug my shoulders. To them it's like some sort of club. I can't fathom someone choosing this kind of hell. Not that they don't have the right to do so if they want. If being seen as Trans by the world makes them happy more power to them. I only wish they wouldn't keep doing things which make other people lives (People who have transitioned to be either male or female rather than Trans) more difficult.

[icecoldbath]

Well I think people should be however they want. Be it, man, woman, or trans. I just don't like it when people get down on each other over the legitimacy of their identity.

[Ladybeth5000]

Exactly. Ironically some Trans people are convinced there's only one way to be Trans. Their way. Fundie Trans?

[nuclearswan]

I always go by the idea that, whatever you think you are, you are. Even the causes of GID are so mysterious it does seem a little silly for someone to assume they can judge if other people are "really" trans. Oh and about electrolysis, does the fun ever end? LOL.

[icecoldbath]

are we "really" people?

[nuclearswan]

I'm not, humans suck.

[TrannyBot]

transhuman ey :) me too... note our usernames

[allylynn44]

Glad to see your in a better mood ;). Good topic! Today at my support group this was talked about, but most of us feel that the younger you can admit being, the luckier the are. Some one used the term "Gender Gifted". Also what ever far the take the transition should only be their choice, "No One" should ever pressure them on how far or how fast or how they want to live their lives. Have a good weekend, Aly

[icecoldbath]

Well true. I clearly wish I had said something to my parents when I was a tiny tot. Although it doesn't make me less trans that I didn't even know what a girl was then, let alone that I was one.

[allylynn44]

Same here, the thing though I really did not feel anything till about 14, and then still liked being both! My first real really check was last December, and the stress was so bad, I was felt as if I was in menopause. I had a lot of illness last year witch I think were signs. When I figured this out in Jan. all stress signs went away and I have been so happy since. I Love the Feelings of the Changes going on Inside. Aly

[tenderkisses33]

well that was a handful. Yes all you've said is true to a point, there is no limit to trans or who "qualifies" or identifies as trans. Sooner or later it's going to lead to bigger and bigger things whether it be going full time or going out in public as a woman etc. I know that I haven't gotten to that point yet because for some strange reason I keep running into people I used to know and if they saw me in girl mode they would recognize me and shun me :(

[icecoldbath]

Aww, if they would shun you then they aren't worth knowing. People should only associate with those who appreciate them no matter what. Thanks for the comment!

[laurakaufman1]

@icecoldbath I think that there is a masqueline and feminine side in every one. Why should anyone go through any more pain than every day life brings. Is it not possible to get in touch with both sides. If you do one side more than the other, aren't you really starving part of you self and hurting your ego? It is like using right and left brain. Isn't it right to be creative as well as logical. Do not limit yourself to just 1/2 of what is going on, or deny yourself.

[TrannyBot]

don't be afraid to go out! you look great! There will always be the chance of running into some one from your past... forget them its your life not theres... It get easier every time you go out... try it!