NASCAR Coach Reveals Winning Strategy: 'Drive Fast'

[ImMatthewPark]

Rah tards its the onion news. Its fake

[aldobrezenti]

I really like NASCAR, but this is bloody funny!

[OMGtehWINNAR]

I don't like nascar or any type of oval racing. I don't follow and don't care about it. That being said, any of you people who think it takes no skill are clueless. It's just a very different beast.

You need evidence? Take a look at Juan Pablo Montoya. He's a very talented driver who's had a successful career in F1, CART, and LeMans racing (among others). He's currently racing in nascar and he's not exactly crushing the competition, now is he?

[hippiechick10113]

LMAO

[moofassa22]

If sitting in a seat and just moving your arms while extending your toes is considered to be a sport then I guess just any old jerkoff can do it.

[mcmolotow]

the key is to 'Drive Fast'...NO SHIT.... hahahahahaha

[ajmac24]

Is this straight enough?! Straighter! haha

[Puppidog667]

Haha!

[KinnariKreme]

bwahhahaha! "go straighter!"

this was hilarious!

gotta love the NASCAR idiots!

[Chostofer69]

Is this from a comedy show? I cant stop laughing!

[dacomputernerd]

"Is this straight enough?!?" "Straighter!!"

[bajatmerc]

lol nascar sucks, turnin left - straight - turnin left - straight

[NotRelated]

nascar is fake.

[mewtwo150]

nascar is lame!!!

[devilslefthand22]

That from a dumbass who has a pokemon handle?

[mewtwo150]

yea and it looks like u know of pokemon too, but i fucked ur mom so that aight

[devilslefthand22]

Nice, does your mommy know you're on the internet? Try being less of a douchebag, it's good for the soul. On the plus side, everyone who visits this page gets to see how much of an asshole you are.

[mewtwo150]

whether you are a douchebag or not (that's a separate debate) nascar is still lame redneck entertainment

[deggis4]

This is just pure gold.

[greengoblin636]

its simply really, if you have testicles you ride a bike, if you dont you drive a cage.

[ravelizard]

a bike = like 5 mph a racecar (formula 1/nascar) = 200 mph....lets see who has the balls now ;)

[wtf01s4]

i can't wait till you smear yourself all over a highway like a ph4t tyt3 stunt4 should

[desilowryda]

& they not on steroids cept merriman urlacher & tomlinson aint for sure. and what u mean a fair competition? i seen nascar drivers i aint a really big guy in football & i know i could take em out no prob urlacher, tomlinson etc r beasts

[ryuhou13]

Well, lol either way, I bet Ben Roethlisberger could take driving lessons from these guys. Erm, or the motorcycle racers at least. lol

[lblitzer]

Nascar is boring. Sure, there's depth with it, but watching cars going in circles really isn't that exciting.

Rallying is much more exciting to watch, but it doesn't get the exposure that it deserves :(

[magog1138]

That's a common misconception. They are not circular, they are actually ovals. Otherwise they'd only be turning all the time and wouldn't be capable of going straight. :P

[ravelizard]

No offense but i'd rather watch 3-4 wide racing in packs all within 2 secs of each other. Sure ovals are boring, but it's the competition that oval provides that's exciting. All on a matter of racing taste

[newbieeh]

thank you finally someone with real taste.like it is so much harder to race that close to 43 other cars than going single file around a road course personnally i find the road courses soo boring, like theres barely any passing they just go around and around and finish pretty much in the same position they start in. in nascar they can go from last to first in a matter of laps especially at the larger courses. and id like to see anyone here drive one of those cars competitively,noone could do it

[Gmvehar]

Your dumb. I spent a day at the "Dale experience" in Arizona. I was a rush but by no means was it had to break 200 mph in a toned down stock car. You made my point for me. Dumb people love oval tracks because of passing not because its competitive. Road courses show the real talent of the driver and that is why the same drivers will always win those events.

[bluefusion6]

Learn the difference between "your" and "you're" before you call someone dumb.

[dalejrgamer]

:srscat:

[ryuhou13]

funny although NASCAR isn't bad at all. People just don't accept it because they are pessimists. There is excitement in it, they're making passes at 150-200mph. Crashes are exciting, pit stops, seeing who gets out first and such. Especially when its neck and neck with two cars. ALSO, those guys are prolly more athletic than any other sport players...the car inside can exceed 100 degrees PLUS gear they wear, and turning the wheel while the car is moving that fast isnt so easy either.

[Kevincredible]

exactly the reason why f1 is so much better

[diejondie]

yeah. f1 is nascar on steroids and a right turn. Nascar isn't bad, it is just boring to watch. It's like golfing. You know it takes so much skill and technique, but it's boring to watch unless you do it yourself.

[ravelizard]

that depends on ur taste in racing, but u are generally right

[ravelizard]

F1 has no passing compare to NASCAR/ARCA. Sure, ovals aren't real driving. But since when is "driving" more important than RACING. 43 cars all within 2 seconds of each other. Now THAT'S competition. What's F1? 1 guy leading the entire fricking race with a 5 minute lead...ZZZZZZZzzzzzz. Sure the courses are difficult, but who cares if there's no competition.

[almagnifico24]

"ALSO, those guys are prolly more athletic than any other sport players...the car inside can exceed 100 degrees PLUS gear they wear, and turning the wheel while the car is moving that fast isnt so easy either." -ryuhou13

that is one one of the stupidest/ or funniest things i've ever heard... depending on whethere you are actually serious or not.

[ryuhou13]

Oh, lol I was serious but that's just because it's true. Lol, I wanna see some random athlete that does do NASCAR try to endure it all. Every sport has it's good and bad points, sure maybe some people think it's boring to watch, but that's ok. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. And every sport is mental as well as physical. Lol, unless you have magical powers that makes the car go without you doing anything. =)

[desilowryda]

uh 100 degrees aint a lot not sure if dey race got nothin 2 do with it but where i come from 45+ celsius normal n we aint got no houses n ac to go inside so dunno what you saying

[ryuhou13]

yea but that's you. These guys don't spend their whole lives in the blistering heat. There's a lot of heat and it would make most people pass out unless people like you, who spent their entire lives in it.

[desilowryda]

& since lotta ppl brown or black maybe for white ppl to go in heat big ting for us it normal we been kinda in it for 1000z of years

[desilowryda]

more athletic ok les put dunno some nascar champ vs tomlinson or urlacher or meriiman or hell me who would win in a race, fight, arm wrestle etc. not da nascar guy dey might be really skinny cuz in lotta gear n car get kinda hot but skiny dont equal strong & athletic

[ryuhou13]

lol Ok. Lets take those guys off steroids, and BAM we have a fair competition. I hate how people underestimate NASCAR drivers so bad. Also have you ever been involved in a carr accident in excess of 150 mph? lol. Just because they don't use their bodies to compete doesn't mean their not fit. 3-4 hours in direct heat all in one car would make most anyone pass out.

[desilowryda]

im brown tho so i built 4 tha heat

[ILikeCheeze24]

Oh my god this is retarted

[filthyseb1]

well u spelled "retarded" wrong so what does that say about you?

[magog1138]

"In the land of the blind.."eh? Oh wait, he probably doesn't get that one does he? BA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!

[teedot]

HAHAHAHA

[xfaithlessx]

Bwahahaha

[iwannabeatb]

NASCAR IS FUCKING GAY, this totally proves it hahahahahahahaha wow that was funny

[hollywoodhawker]

Hilarious. Its comedy you dumb red neck Americans!!

[OMGHecantalk]

Fuck Onions

[magog1138]

I'd rather not. Now fucking watermelons? That's where it's at!

[VA24541]

No, it proves you know absolutely nothing about racing. There are no coaches in NASCAR. There is no such thing as "Sears Classic 500", dufus.

[Garlannd]

I second this mans opinion.

[burtonfan2]

what the hell is a coach?

[auknix]

Isn't that something that you sit on ?

[burtonfan2]

thank you, i was wondering

[drnojb]

yes.. this is a joke... the Onion News Network

[googlyeyedwalnut]

"Should I keep going fast?" HA!

[number21isahottie]

holy crap. i'm a motorcycle racer and that cracked my up silly.

[ohhcouture]

lmao. <3 the onion.

[975975]

I lol'd many times while watching this

[thedrewg]

Ricky Bobby lives.