August 30, 2009: Thinking about my birth family

[leinani10]

Thanks so much for sharing your story. As others have said....you are not selfish for wanted to see a face that you see yourself in!! It doesn't mean that you love your adoptive family any less. I will be praying for you!!

[Skye3719]

You are not selfish!!!!!! You deserve to know who your family is. That is selfish of your birth mom if she did see you. She shouldn't keep you from your family. I can really feel what your going through . I will be posting my videos of my prosses as well Please keep in touch. I am so sorry to hear what happened to you but you are not selfish.

[BabyGirlGoddess]

awww....dont cry

you're going to make me cry :* (

[Charmbracelet25]

I don't think it is selfish to want to know your birth family even if you love your adoptive one. I think it's natural. I hope you find what you are looking for.

[fatsotomuscles]

Dayum.

[Lawgiver777]

I dont think your selfish at all for wanting to meet your birth family. Yes be greatful for what you have but I really do not see anything wrong with that. Stay strong.

[easternsmile]

Steph, I looked through your videos and your findings of your birth parent info. it seemed the financial situation became really bad for your mom after his death. your mom was buddhist, she could move to a buddhist temple and lived there, which is not rare in Korea. many temple in that region accepting widows or travellers as either member or guest. I'm not sure if you already checked on that. If it's true, there's a strong chance, she never had a chance to watch TV. Hope you find your mother.

[slappymcgroundout]

Steph, maybe she saw, but maybe your reasons aren't why. Take all your hurt, make it guilt, multiply by 9, and maybe that's why. I'd go the PI route. And never feel "outcast". And there's a downside to, I'm just like them. Means that some need ponder the question, were ancestors sociopaths bent on genocide? And did they have slaves too? So let us not be them. As for me, Steph is, as always, first and foremost, someone for whom my Lord underwent execution by torture as enemy of the peace of Rome.

[UltraSlim20]

Nice vid..honesty..No, I don't think you're selfish at all, you're just a lot more mature and self aware of what's going on and who you are, I wish I would have explored that when I was at your age...give it time, some things take a very long time to change...such as a person trying to figure out their place in the world. Keep going and keep busy, let things be and if you know you did everything you can, that's good enough. Things will come around, kinda like ppl finding you on youtube.

[hsghsgha]

Never give up, Stephanie! I have faith that you WILL find out someday, and WILL be able to get the evidence that you are searching for! I am a photographer, and would love to be able to take that picture for you!

Stay strong, my friend!

[GDGspire]

The other Asian kids don't regard me as Asian because, obviously, I'm not, but I also don't feel American. Being American, to me, is all about celebrating your heritage, but I can't do that because I wasn't educated about my culture or language.

My birthmother had me when she was 18 and I wish I knew how she felt about me, how her feelings may have changed since then, if maybe I have brothers/sisters. I understand your frustration and yearning. I hope things turn around for you. Thanks. <3

[stephxhoney]

Have you thought about contacting your adoption agency to learn more about your birth family/potential siblings??

[GDGspire]

Yes, but I'm 17 right now, so I'm waiting until I turn 18.

[GDGspire]

Thanks so much for making this; you really articulated how I feel. I totally understand what you said about how something as simple as not looking like the people around you affects you. I'll go out in public and see Asian families together and tear up just because I've never had that sense of a community in which you truly belong - into which you were born and raised, where everyone else just looks like you, has your build, etc. I'm the only adopted Asian at my school and it's hard at times.

[canadianoranje]

I'm so sorry that you are hurting. Thank you for sharing your story and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers that you will find peace and meet your family.

[drunkndrgn88]

if it were anywhere else, i'd consider that out of the way..but texas is huge

[drunkndrgn88]

where in texas are you? i know there are sizable korean american communities in dallas and san antonio

[stephxhoney]

i'm in a suburb about 40 min. outside of dallas.

[drunkndrgn88]

in korea, there's a family registry. you probably already knew that, though. still, i thought it'd be worth a try. even if you couldn't get in touch with your mom, have you tried contacting your blood sisters? i think you need some korean american friends

[stephxhoney]

hmm family registry.. actually i'm not familiar with it. unfortunately, i don't have the names or any info really about my sisters. just my birth mother and father.

i also have several korean american and asian american friends... but they are mostly in chicago where i went to school.. not in texas where i grew up.

[stephxhoney]

thank you, johnscants... i think you've explained my feelings very eloquently.

n00ffensebut, you bring up an important point that i had hoped to address in a future video... how transracial adoptees' identity correlates to the standards of beauty in the community. thank you for the compliment.. i do hope that i've learned to embrace my differences.. as johnscants explained, it's less about my perception of beauty, but wanting a physical manifestation of my roots.

[johnscants]

n00ffensebut, imo, her physical beauty is not the issue that is bothering her. it's more about her sense of a physical connection with someone, and how that connection can make u feel like you're not alone in this world. it's when you can see yourself in someone else, and you feel closer because of it, if that makes sense.

im a K adoptee as well, and, while i don't feel the need to search for my birth parents as yet, i can sort of understand how she might feel.

[n00ffensebut]

Thank you for sharing your story. I hope you can find your birth family.

I cannot understand exactly how looking different bothers you so much. Honestly, you are one of the most beautiful women that I have ever seen. Maybe if you understood that about yourself, you would feel a little bit better.