Yup - thinking of the fellow from my writing group. Knew him for three years - the way he acted in groups destroyed every group he was in. He could never keep a job. He would quit jobs just a few days into them. He acted like he knew EVERYTHING, even though he he was a high school dropout. And on his Facebook page? He put a quote from Sun Tzu "All warfare is based on deception." And he really believed it. WOW :)
I don't do it from charity, as I do not believe you are worthy of charity.
I do it to spare Dad any further stress from you, and also because I know, whatever denials you've made to everyone, that you tried to kill in the past and are likely planning to kill me after Dad and Mom die, so that you can have the place to yourself.
If, for example, five years down the road, when you are due to pay me back the $45,000 you owe on the deed of trust, I've inherited $30,000 which would have gone to you under Dad's old will, that $30,00 will be deducted from what you owe me and you will need to pay me only $15,000 to satisfy the loan and get the title free and clear.
This is a VERY good offer, considering that you've already been written out and Dad is not requiring me to make it.
If I inherit money from Dad which is greater than my proportional share of his estate, and the "extra" comes out of what you would have inherited, then that will reduce your indebtedness to me by the greater amount.
For example, as things now stand Dad is taking 10% of his estate from his original will, which left you 20% of the total. That 10% is going to me to compensate me for your effective theft of my share of the house
6. If you agree to some kind of buyout of me, I will agree to encourage Dad to change his will such that you inherit as much as you otherwise would. Furthermore, and this term is very important:
IF YOU AGREE TO BUY ME OUT AND DAD DOES NOT CHANGE HIS WILL BACK AS IT WAS, THE FOLLOWING TERMS WILL PROTECT YOU:
PART 4 of item 5 Obviously, as with any usual deed of trust there must be an agreement by you to pay taxes, fees, insurance, to protect my equity and not incur fines from the City of XXXXXX (or any other government entity) or liens from the City or any other governmental entity which might harm my equity. The note in short is not to be based on any trust. Every possible problem will be dealt with.
PART 3 of item 5 Also, I am making this offer assuming there is no legal defense to a foreclosure, if I find a dodge you can use to not pay after consulting with my lawyers this offer will be withdrawn, but it is made in good faith and in the hopes it is enforceable, I want this to end. At the end of the loan you must pay me back all principal and any interest not yet paid to that date.
PART 2 of item 5 , Obviously, as with any deed of trust, if you default I can foreclose on you, and impose penalties, costs, and additional interest until the debt is fully paid. The interest on the note will be 10% annually., approximately $4,500 per year I estimate. Obviously 10% is higher than normal interest rates but you have no credit, with me or anyone else, and so even though secured by a deed of trust, this is a high risk loan
5. You will execute, to me, a deed of trust, the terms are negotiable, but I will, right now, today and for the near future, except a note which calls for payment of interest only for five years, when the entire amount will be due and payable.
3. Your wife will withdraw the restraining order. Since I will be bought out of the house, I will have no right to come there, and of course can be arrested for trespassing if I do, so no order is necessary.
4. You will return all my personal property you now have.
2. Though it is not fair to me, I will forego all damages for false arrest, infliction of emotional distress, extortion, etcetera, ALL claims against you or your wife.
I think people who get into friendships, relationships or partnerships with NPD sufferers, do so at a fairly early stage of their life (under 30 perhaps) when they have plenty of energy and time for many kinds of people. I just cannot imagine a 37 year old, for example, wanting to blow his or her time and energy on one of these freaks. NPDs are not for the world-weary - they need the naive, young and trusting/believing types. The realist, cynical or experienced type is not impressed by them.
I keep watching these videos hoping to find the answer to what to do once you have become the "object of frustration," and the narcissist is out to destroy you.
@anniequilts --> I'm NPD, and all I can say is that - sadly - the best thing is probably to end the relationship, even if it is a job. NPD people can be very very negative, so even if you do recover the relationship you still are part of a system that is never going to be free of malice and abuse.
@johnuio I have ended the relationship; however, once he gets his mind set on something he does not let go - he has been trying to destroy his ex-wife for over 20 years. The last time he showed up here (before he was taken to jail), I had 911 on the phone in 1 hand and a gun in the other - he left; however, I am pretty sure once he gets out of jail, he will come after me again.
@MikaShelley99 what is really scary is trying to run from someone who has told you, "even if you change your name and move far away, I will find you. It may take me longer, but I WILL find you!" I just hope he dies in jail.
Reminds me of arrogance too...i suppose selfishness covers it all?
enos218 1 month ago
Yup - thinking of the fellow from my writing group. Knew him for three years - the way he acted in groups destroyed every group he was in. He could never keep a job. He would quit jobs just a few days into them. He acted like he knew EVERYTHING, even though he he was a high school dropout. And on his Facebook page? He put a quote from Sun Tzu "All warfare is based on deception." And he really believed it. WOW :)
bluestmarble 3 months ago
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I don't do it from charity, as I do not believe you are worthy of charity.
I do it to spare Dad any further stress from you, and also because I know, whatever denials you've made to everyone, that you tried to kill in the past and are likely planning to kill me after Dad and Mom die, so that you can have the place to yourself.
j2bodydouble 4 months ago
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If, for example, five years down the road, when you are due to pay me back the $45,000 you owe on the deed of trust, I've inherited $30,000 which would have gone to you under Dad's old will, that $30,00 will be deducted from what you owe me and you will need to pay me only $15,000 to satisfy the loan and get the title free and clear.
This is a VERY good offer, considering that you've already been written out and Dad is not requiring me to make it.
j2bodydouble 4 months ago
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If I inherit money from Dad which is greater than my proportional share of his estate, and the "extra" comes out of what you would have inherited, then that will reduce your indebtedness to me by the greater amount.
For example, as things now stand Dad is taking 10% of his estate from his original will, which left you 20% of the total. That 10% is going to me to compensate me for your effective theft of my share of the house
j2bodydouble 4 months ago
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6. If you agree to some kind of buyout of me, I will agree to encourage Dad to change his will such that you inherit as much as you otherwise would. Furthermore, and this term is very important:
IF YOU AGREE TO BUY ME OUT AND DAD DOES NOT CHANGE HIS WILL BACK AS IT WAS, THE FOLLOWING TERMS WILL PROTECT YOU:
j2bodydouble 4 months ago
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PART 4 of item 5 Obviously, as with any usual deed of trust there must be an agreement by you to pay taxes, fees, insurance, to protect my equity and not incur fines from the City of XXXXXX (or any other government entity) or liens from the City or any other governmental entity which might harm my equity. The note in short is not to be based on any trust. Every possible problem will be dealt with.
j2bodydouble 4 months ago
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PART 3 of item 5 Also, I am making this offer assuming there is no legal defense to a foreclosure, if I find a dodge you can use to not pay after consulting with my lawyers this offer will be withdrawn, but it is made in good faith and in the hopes it is enforceable, I want this to end. At the end of the loan you must pay me back all principal and any interest not yet paid to that date.
j2bodydouble 4 months ago
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PART 2 of item 5 , Obviously, as with any deed of trust, if you default I can foreclose on you, and impose penalties, costs, and additional interest until the debt is fully paid. The interest on the note will be 10% annually., approximately $4,500 per year I estimate. Obviously 10% is higher than normal interest rates but you have no credit, with me or anyone else, and so even though secured by a deed of trust, this is a high risk loan
j2bodydouble 4 months ago
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5. You will execute, to me, a deed of trust, the terms are negotiable, but I will, right now, today and for the near future, except a note which calls for payment of interest only for five years, when the entire amount will be due and payable.
part 1
j2bodydouble 4 months ago
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3. Your wife will withdraw the restraining order. Since I will be bought out of the house, I will have no right to come there, and of course can be arrested for trespassing if I do, so no order is necessary.
4. You will return all my personal property you now have.
j2bodydouble 4 months ago
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2. Though it is not fair to me, I will forego all damages for false arrest, infliction of emotional distress, extortion, etcetera, ALL claims against you or your wife.
j2bodydouble 4 months ago
Sam Vaknin , i cannot stress how much you helped me in dealing with the answers I was seeking.
carrrrera 4 months ago
At first I thought I was being abused by one but now I found myself becoming one...
tinyctlo 5 months ago
I think people who get into friendships, relationships or partnerships with NPD sufferers, do so at a fairly early stage of their life (under 30 perhaps) when they have plenty of energy and time for many kinds of people. I just cannot imagine a 37 year old, for example, wanting to blow his or her time and energy on one of these freaks. NPDs are not for the world-weary - they need the naive, young and trusting/believing types. The realist, cynical or experienced type is not impressed by them.
avidalocan 11 months ago
I have made at least 10 videos about how to cope with abuse and stalking and they are all available on my channel.
samvaknin 1 year ago 10
I keep watching these videos hoping to find the answer to what to do once you have become the "object of frustration," and the narcissist is out to destroy you.
anniequilts 1 year ago
@anniequilts --> I'm NPD, and all I can say is that - sadly - the best thing is probably to end the relationship, even if it is a job. NPD people can be very very negative, so even if you do recover the relationship you still are part of a system that is never going to be free of malice and abuse.
johnuio 1 year ago
@johnuio I have ended the relationship; however, once he gets his mind set on something he does not let go - he has been trying to destroy his ex-wife for over 20 years. The last time he showed up here (before he was taken to jail), I had 911 on the phone in 1 hand and a gun in the other - he left; however, I am pretty sure once he gets out of jail, he will come after me again.
anniequilts 1 year ago
@anniequilts run
MikaShelley99 1 year ago
@MikaShelley99 what is really scary is trying to run from someone who has told you, "even if you change your name and move far away, I will find you. It may take me longer, but I WILL find you!" I just hope he dies in jail.
anniequilts 1 year ago 4
Great Lecture indeed, I tribute you towards the final words, at the end:) regards Jack.
rustedme 1 year ago
Nice ending - Ha - You have a way with words
ItsJustTimeTo 1 year ago 2