Minutes Off of Your Life Vol: 9

[cathy308308]

I love your video. You are such a beautiful woman. I love you too.

[TGBrooklyn]

I assume you self medicated; yes?

Even at a low dosage you feel good that you finally are doing something.

[pent656]

It's just so hard. I want to act like me, but more and more i try to keep myself in check. I'll stop leaning on one hip and re-center myself so i'm always standing on both feet at once, and other crap like that. I'm so close to graduating, so i feel this need to keep up an image of myself to all my friends so they'll always have that idea of what i am, or at least was. I can't decide wether i'm gay, bi, or whatever, so i'm stuck trying to keep up this masculine guy facade while figuring it out.

[karmatic1110]

That sounds a lot like me prior to transitioning sweetie.

[FergusonTO35]

Yes, let the kitty do a blog. She looks really sweet.

[BriarRoseTv]

Just wanted to say that I'm sure the estrogen had a lot to do with your ability to cry more often and when you needed to, but don't forget that depression can wipe out the ability to cry. And listening to you, I'd guess you were depressed before transition, and while you may still be depressed from time to time, my guess is you've actually gotten "happy" enough to cry.

Does this make sense?

Thank you for sharing yourself with us. You're a beautiful soul.

Rose

[kanakh77]

HaHa your graet I like your vloge thay help me fill like I'm a person and not a freck. Be for I saw your vlogs and the oters I fillt like I was alone in the world thanks

[karmatic1110]

Nope there are plenty of TS people :)

[LadyAmarant]

What you said about the crying is sooooo true. That release that you know will ease the frustration and sadness and anger, and it just. won't. come.

[kitykat65]

Know that i look at it closely,you do look like a baby seal.

[karmatic1110]

HAHA they are sooo cute! Especially the little fluffy white ones!  Woah...what just happened there.

[willowxxx]

Boy if hormones make me cry more, I am in trouble. I spent ten minutes bawling over the Notebook yesterday... what will I do on hormones?!

[karmatic1110]

You will learn how to manage them and be happy sweetie.

[ritesofspr]

Ok, Charlotte, what's the deal with 15 year olds flocking to you for advice :) Obviously you give good advice and they know you have some good answers. Agreed, subjectivity is definitely involved in hormones. It's important for everyone to remember that they do effect everyone differently. How they effect you will depend on your T/E before the hormones, your personality, your emotional state, & how you are dealing with transition. Keep up the great work Charlotte, you rock :)

[karmatic1110]

Oh nono you rock! I thought we went over this! I love that people are coming to me for advice if I can give it. I just want them to get it somewhere.

[AnnieMiranda]

I absolutely agree with you! Can't care what anyone else thinks. WHAT OTHERS THINK OF ME IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS!

You are a very smart girl!

Hugs,

Annie

[NappyJynx]

Wow, I had no idea testosterone somehow made you less emotional. I remember before starting puberty, I could cry whenever I wanted, and I did cry a lot. It's nice that it makes you more feminine in that sense, even if it can be annoying at times.

[karmatic1110]

I was the same way as a child. I would cry about EVERYTHING! It's funny how everything has come full circle.

[icecoldbath]

I for one support making 'raw' vlogs without all that fancy editing junk. And besides. Adobe Premier is so complicated! Oh yeah, and woo for being yourself, the mones definitely take down the walls and open the gates to be who you are. I couldn't even cry at my mom's funeral because of my T-wall.

[karmatic1110]

Yep. None of my friends understand that. There really is a huge difference even if it is subtle most of the time.

[NappyJynx]

Hello Charlotte. I'm a 15 year old transgender from the United States, and I have some questions for you. When did you start estrogen/anti androgens? Can estrogen make your hips any wider? That's all for now, thanks!

[karmatic1110]

I started E and and Anti androgen 2 months ago. At 15 I believe it would affect your bone growth if you were not done growing. Wow 15 whew lucky girl :)

[faerynthemoon]

i must say, you are amazing in front of the camera!!! i loved watching this video and all the other ones you have made as well =) amazing :p

[karmatic1110]

Well yeah....I mean you have known me for what 6 years? I was born to be on camera JK lol! I miss you and I love when you comment. We shall talk soon chica!

[Purchases53]

So many things that I would like to say about your blog and yet I cannot find the words to say them. Even though I have not started my hormones yet, I feel like I really connected with some of the things that you have said especially the stuff that you talked about towards end.

[karmatic1110]

Thank you sweetie.  I am glad you can relate and I will be sure to make some more!

[grishno]

I'm a perfectionist... :P and just because I like sparkles doesn't mean you have to rag on me. And yay for not caring what others think! Others thoughts are just holding you back.

~E

[karmatic1110]

You perfectionists with your sparkles and unicorns always trying to upstage me! I say to not care but I sill do. Its a hard habit to break.

[manniefaces]

:-)

[karmatic1110]

Oh a face war eh? :P

[manniefaces]

;-p back at you!

[patbollin]

Great Vlog. But where's number 8?

[karmatic1110]

I am waiting for youtube to approve it LOL

[patbollin]

Ah! Just saw it. And I, too, do not have a life right now. Waiting for school to start. Keep em coming, and I'll probably keep wasting "minutes of my life" on them. Cheers

[karmatic1110]

Haha well one day I have resolved myself to having a life...one day. :)