Living with Asperger's Syndrome (David John Foden Malins)

[red12512]

Hello, I am engaged to an Aspie. For the most part our relationship has been great, I love him very much. But right now i'm on the verge of tears b/c a problem has come up regarding his unemployment. I'm pretty sure that the economy contributes, but I think his interpersonal skills do too. if i get too "critical' he gets upset. i need help in how to be supportive with him. if anyone with asperger's, especially a guy, could get back to me i'd appreciate it. thanks so much.

[djfmitv]

@red12512 Hiya - Sorry for the lack of reply and I'm not sure whether you will get this message in time to the query you asked (maainly that some unauthorised user put your message as spam, so blocked me noticing it) so apologies there.

I know how difficult as I'm sure he does (His videos about the subject are on search engines and Youtube quite regularly) if there isn't secure employment. Can you give me an update on the situation if you can via youtube - cheers Dave Malins (Aspie Pioneer)

[thebenchwarmer]

sigh.. i wish every video was equipped with captions.. i think i have apd ;-;

[djfmitv]

I quite agree - it is very hard to hear my voice in this one. I need to put an updated speech up about myself soon anyway. Thanks for the comment :)

[DAVEJOHNS0N]

What a great guy

[basicloner]

OK speky!"!$"£^% how do i know if ive got aspergers is there a test i can do i find it dead hard to remember things, its really hard for me to learn i like watchin cartoons and im 18 HOW DO I KNOW"!£%^&&*

[djfmitv]

Ask your local General Practitioner or Doctor.

I'm afraid since I only know currently details about the United Kingdom's health system, you will have to ask someone else.

Hope this helps :)

[roxie0305]

Thanks for the video. It helps me a lot :)

My friend also have Asperger's Syndrome.Can you give me some tips how to communicate with him?

[djfmitv]

There are many ways to. Can you be a bit more specific in terms of how you wish to communicate to him?

[moonsister83]

There is serveral ways of communicating with somebody who´s got Asperger syndrome. One of the best ways of communicating is what I would like to call straight-forward communication. What I mean by that is that it is a lot easier for someone with As to know what to do if someone gives them concrete examples and advices. I hope this helps! Peace/ebba

[djfmitv]

I quite agree moonsister83.

Thanks for your contribution :)

Dave Malins

Aspie Pioneer of Herefordshire, UK

[bigpinoymc5]

great video. do you mind if i use this video for my class presentation? I want to educate my class how education conceptualizes Asperger's Syndrome

[djfmitv]

Yes you can - I've sent information through as a personal message.

[MartinusPrime]

Hah hah. That was nicely done.

[BeatsonsGirl84]

Great presentation. Insightful abd interesting with just the right amount of humour. I haven't been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome but I'm pretty sure I have it; I have some symptons that you described like not being able to process information as quickly as others, being easily distracted among others. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one with it.

[djfmitv]

Your very welcome :)

[bunybunnydrei]

i admire you, i also have AS.

[djfmitv]

Thanks :)

Good luck with developing your channel in the future BTW - I'll add you as a friend in the meanwhile

[xXmetroidmaniaXx]

Great insight, and great sense of humor too. ^^ That was good for me to see a video like this.

[KiZZyKatCuTie]

great video!! u have a brilliant sense of humor too! well done

[djfmitv]

Thank you

Glad you enjoyed it :)

[Eatmyfeet14]

Very excellent I have AS too, I have trouble focusing on one person when there are several conversations around me too.

That is one of the most frustrating parts of AS, but you had a lot of bravery doing this presentation. I don't think I can ever do anything like that.

[djfmitv]

Well there's more than one way to skin a cat as they say... Practise makes perfect :)

[MostlyMinty]

You are cute! :)

From a fellow Aspie.

[djfmitv]

*Blushes slightly* :)

[thisistom2]

Check out my films - Jack (Part1) and Jack(Part2). They are about my brother who has Asperger's syndrome.

[djfmitv]

Do you both live in Herefordshire?

It is just I recognise it because I live there.

[thisistom2]

Yeah between Hereford and Ledbury :) although Jack is away at college so is only back every second weekend.

[djfmitv]

I was just thinking, especially since the NAS don't run an Asperger Social group in Herefordshire as such and that they have approached me to take part in their new campaign I think it would be really interesting to have his input.

Good video BTW and a real eye-opener :)

[thisistom2]

cool, thanks. I have send you a private message with our contact details.

[Balr0ken]

ASS BURGERS

[RulerOFWorlds]

:) Maybe more people will understand our disabilities :( a lotta people think autism and asperger is a type of retardation :(

[djfmitv]

Indeed - I'm anxious to change that view myself, at least I'm not alone in that wish for understanding :)

[RulerOFWorlds]

:) Hurrah!

[djfmitv]

I am now delighted to announced that through alot of hard work and scratching my head, I've been able to convert my full Living With Aspergers Syndrome Speech, which I will be posting on here hopefully this week.

Stay tuned ;)

[Eatmyfeet14]

You mean "I am now delighted to announce"

[djfmitv]

Probably a typing error, thank you, I didn't notice :)

[Lizziekins]

Well done:D How you have the courage and bravery to talk about Aspergers so openly is amazing:D I myself have Aspgers, I've been diganosed since the age of 3, I'm 19 now and have only just felt comfortable telling people.

You did a great job:)

[djfmitv]

Thanks :)

[averlumen]

I've been diagnosed with asperger's syndrome too, and i have respect for the fact you can seemingly speak so easily in front of a good number of people you don't know well. luckily because of my diagnose i dont have to do class presentations :)

[DifferentIsKool]

You put yourself across brilliantly, and through your own situation you have definitely proved that no 2 aspergers are the same.

I don't have Aspergers myself I'm still on the PDD diagnostic which is even more frustrating, coz you can't explain yourself at all.

Great post m8, great job

Best wishes

Robby!!!

[djfmitv]

I have placed the full verison (in 2 parts) of the speech on here if you wish to list it on your channel, since I did notice you have a specialist playlist dedicated to it.

Thank you :)

[DifferentIsKool]

Thanks m8, I'll get it sorted asap.

Best wishes and thanks

Robby!!!

[Ioini]

Dude, wow. When I try to present to ANY of my classes. I get nervous and I tend to say Uhm, uhs a lot even when I'm reading off of my PowerPoint presentation! My teacher deducted my marks because I didn't even look at the crowd the whole time or never interacting with the crowd at all. I had to end the presentation right away just so I can get on with my day. If I was up there longer and I was used to the class, then I've might've enjoyed it.

[djfmitv]

It takes alot of hard work to give a presentation like that. Hours of preparation, proof reading and practicing.

All you can really do is just practise and try again.

There are many tricks in getting people to pay attention to a presentation: the main one I use is humour.

(Unless your presenting to a Government Agency, who hardly even clap because they are hanging on to your every word - Blimey, that can be even more difficult LOL!)

Thanks :)

[kH0pSu3Y]

I was just making fun of some typing mistakes he made,

[hoofer1]

AAAAA! I was distracted by the noise in the background. Stupid cellphones. That just demonstrated that sort of distractability thing.

[djfmitv]

LOL :D

[scepticchristian]

Hi kH0pSu3Y.

If you can't say something nice, try to remain silent so you avoid offence, whether intended or meant as constructive criticism or not and however tempting it might be to verbalise. Just my view as a way of becoming more likeable to others. Take care.

[kH0pSu3Y]

your pretty weird. I have this to but it must be a lot more pronounced in you. You sound like your eleven or so.

[orsino2]

Why do you care?

And even moreso strikingly--Why do I?

[shmalfie]

If you were a real aspie, I'm sure your grammar and spelling would have been better.

[djfmitv]

BTW, I was diagnosed with AS when I was only 4 (So I am a proper Aspie), but wasn't told fully until I started discovering for myself why I felt different, most of all I hate when people don't use the English Language properly in sentences.

[djfmitv]

Contradicts what I sound like when coughing I can assure you LOL

Anyway, this was taken towards the end of 2004.

I haven't changed too drastically since then and I'm still encountering the same things at University really...

[djfmitv]

Tell me something I don't know :P

[starstrucksteph]

aww i thought you were great!! xxx

[djfmitv]

Thank you :)

And thank you all for the many many wonderful, even very thought-provoking comments you have all placed on here.

I think I will have to place a straight-foreward video response on here very soon to let you know both how I'm getting on and also to highlight a few more positives. Stay tuned :)

[starstrucksteph]

aww yeah do! let me know if you put a new video up xxx

[djfmitv]

The complete conference video I have uploaded now. Hopefully I should be getting that response one up in the next few weeks as well (That is if I can find the staff to help me film it *Crossing his fingers* LOL)

[starstrucksteph]

aww goodluck with that!! thankyou for posting these i can totally relate to the things you are saying as i also have aspergers :) xxx

[scepticchristian]

I can be very lazy and have many issues unrelated to AS. As one writer here said, if we learn the triad, anyone could think they fit it. I want to hear about typical experiences (what did someone say to you, how did you feel, what did you think and do/say and how was it resolved and can you see how you misread it?). Plus anything else. I want to know if I really have AS as I'm very confused now. Even though our examples will differ and we're all different, I want to know if I can relate.

[scepticchristian]

I'm male (aren't most of us?!) 45, married, child, teacher also doing post graduate studies and research and I have diagnosed AS as of only 15 months ago. I'm very keen to listen to other folk with AS and share experiences. And I want to hear very specific details, step by step, thought by thought of events, and not through the triad you've read about. I'm keen to hear typical days, even if some events are not AS related, perhaps you're just being lazy. I'll sift through that myself.

[kH0pSu3Y]

So...scepticchristian, your a 45 year old married child, still in college? LOL Im just kidding.

[shmalfie]

Do you mean most people are male or most aspies?

[djfmitv]

It is mainly more diagnosed and noticable in males than females, however, I wouldn't say that most aspies are male. We simply don't know the ratio between males and females having AS.

[djfmitv]

I don't think even the National Autistic Society here in the UK knows any definite figures. It is worth an ask though. Thanks shmalfie for that thought :)

[scepticchristian]

Having said that, what you've done is great and important. The triad is a stereotyping by nature though, it's what defines the condition.

I'm looking at just the David generation of people in my research. Transiting from child to adult and what could the services offer to improve life and opportunities as they transit between these two worlds - one with little responsibility and rights, the other with huge responsibilities and rights. Any feedback or good/bad experiences or opinion?

[scepticchristian]

The down side to educating people with this and other similar videos is that the many people with AS who don't have your advanced skills will continue to be isolated and not understood. You come over very well, but many don't. You give triadic examples and almost laugh at the concept as you don't fit them, but that will only confuse people. Already there's so many contradictions. AS - Good liars, bad liars; imaginative, not so etc.

[scepticchristian]

Hi David and those looking/reading, thanks for this.

I am researching the transition support networks between childhood and adulthood in Asperger's Syndrome. If anyone would care to share their experience, opinions or views (positive or negative) from any position, I'd be very grateful. I'm British and have AS but you don't need to be/have in order to respond. Thanks.

[djfmitv]

In the same way, perhapse you can share your experiences with me.

Can you be alittle bit more specific about the sort of things you wish to know?

[milnusthegnome]

It's sad that many people think they have AS but they dont. You can clearly see if someone has AS, as they act retarded socially.

[starstrucksteph]

thats not neccessarily true x i have aspergers but i also have a bf and lots of friends, i struggle to have long comnversations or think of conversations but my friends have learned to expect that and they find it funny that im random. i used to have bad eye contact but with acting classes i have worked through that and become a good actor (which is rare in aspergers but can be achieved!) and i can fake emotions just to fit in sometimes even if i dont feel them. xxx

[65CA]

People who think differently will change the world for the better. People who are like everyone else never do amazing things. It is always the misfits or outcasts dreamers odd ducks that find the way to move humanity to the next level. Rock on

[djfmitv]

Cheers :D

[djfmitv]

Indeed

[abram730]

Asperger's is quite a gift. If not being born with social programing is a problem you can learn it. NLP teaches a lot of the all important how's. In fact you will be better at social interactions then most. I bet you also could be good at the "zap".

search video "Darren brown how to will somebody"

We usually have a gift for this. The things nobody wants to talk about other then to say it's not schizophrenia.

[abram730]

PS: the sound of chewing still drives me nuts. lol

If Asperger's is a syndrome then an Air Bus is a nice kite.

I think you just need to understand a bit more about it and how to structure your mind for your specific gifts. A conceptual understanding of communication should do you just fine.

[djfmitv]

Your Welcome :)

[dinahkcm]

this belongs in the posautive Youtube group and its /adults and /sense subgroups - thank you!

[ghostprincess]

man i never knew! i totally have this!

[SauzerWoodget]

Before the video even loaded I could tell you "had" aspergers.

[djfmitv]

So what gave me away? LOL

[fjeffrey10]

I have it 3. Nice English accent.

[djfmitv]

Thanks fjeffrey10 :) I sometimes speak in my Hereford dialect as well (Similar to the other shire counties in the UK)

For example, emphasising a sentence by adding "like" or "mind" onto the end of most sentences and silencing my "h"'s (Eg: 'ereford)

[djfmitv]

But it is the accent you heard which usually prevals...

[CassetteMaster]

I'm pretty sure I have Asperger's. Looking on articles about it and seeing vids-SO many characteristics of it apply to me. Plus, like the guy in the video, I get distracted EASILY! I just can't keep attention to the main point!

[djfmitv]

I have posted the full version of the speech on here as well if you find that useful.

You've posted some very interesting and fantastic videos on your channel as well BTW.

You've obviously followed like most of us one particular interest, in your case it is cassette recorders.

Well done :)

[CassetteMaster]

Yes, the tape recorder obsession has took on! They are SOO COOL!

[djfmitv]

It is the one thing that is worth gaining mastery of :)

[AlterEgoTrip]

Brilliant Work! Its nice to know that these difficulties can be worked though, given time. Thanks for sharing this video! Keep proving them wrong at your own pace. (no pressure, ok? :)

[djfmitv]

Meh, it's like riding a bike LOL

Thanks :)

[dietzchris]

i have it 2.

[gr82bamom]

David, please put your whole speech online if you have an opportunity. It's wonderful! So many people would benefit from seeing this and maybe understanding a little better what AS is all about. We live in the world of AS...our oldest is an Aspie, and he complains of the things you mentioned in this footage. :o)

[djfmitv]

I have now completed the full transfer of the completed speech, which you can now find on here or on google video...

[yackityyacityyack]

Good work on the speech and video and thanks for putting this out there further in a positive light.

[jinxiejae]

i know how you feel i too have aspergers. one of the most frustrating things is theere are more than one TYPE of aspergers. so getting diagnosed makes it maore difficult. school was a nightmare for me both socialy and acedemicly. one reading and comprehension i scored high but very low scores on math and science. i have no apptitude for anything technichle. and becouse of wich and other reasons i often felt like i was worthless and couldnt do any thing. self essteem gets the worst of it.

[djfmitv]

Indeed.

Even with a broad scientific mind, I still find it difficult to interact with people who call themselves "normal".

I'm currently studying a BSc in Geography: 9 times out of 10, I make more freinds from people outside my subject area - media being a perfect example.

Don't be disheartened.

What are your specialist interests if you don't mind me asking?

[jinxiejae]

writing has always been a pet intrest, i often make up my own scenarios to to tv shows that ive seen, im a san diego comic con member and i love good story and story telling skills.

[jinxiejae]

i have a mild intrest in gems and stones ( i own a rock tumbler, child version)i love amusement parks and what it takes to make a succesful one. shows rides layout and themes and shops. and im a bit of an animation geek. i can recognize certain voice actors and animator styles. particularly don bluth and those influenced by him. his style is easy to spot.

[djfmitv]

Very interesting :)

Currently with Glamorgan Student Television Society (Glam TV), we're trying to come up with a few projects to do over the summer and the alternative scenareos plot I'm definitely keen to exploit.

[megamanxz1]

You got to try to look better for the girls. Sheesh! Lose the glasses. I know I did so I can take a peek at chicks w/o looking too nerdy. Your mannerisms need work.

[djfmitv]

Right, so how do you suppose I see without irritating contact lenses or very expensive laser eye treatment?

My real freinds don't care what I look like because of the individual I am inside.

Anyway, did you find the video of interest?

[djfmitv]

I take the lack of reply as a no - bye

[jimmythedirt]

thank you for your courage. It is a hard thing to be that self aware and willing and brave enough to share that information with the humor and compassion that you have. I would love to see the whole presentation.

[djfmitv]

Thanks :)

I found my life almost like one big adventure, so when I became curious, I found out for myself.

It can be difficult at times, but I just love to take those risks, especially if I can help others - that is my determination or drive if you will.

The full presentation is on-line now BTW

[Swuppah]

Cheers to you. must say darn well done. But christschool i must disagree with you. I never met any problems with the medical profession. atleast not in my area. of all the people I've know that have aspergers. (do not have my self but lie close against it. or so they say) have gotten help

[djfmitv]

Probably depends on locality nowadays when it comes to that.

Thanks for your timely observation, because there are many different situations about in this and the case isn't the same for everyone

Cheers :)

[ZzZ0ne]

thumbs up

[Adrenalyn]

Bravo kudos to you

[japhoe]

wats kudos?:S

[zerocal101]

i also have aspergers syndrome its hell eh and its heven well it depends on how u look at it

[scootersmom]

I appreciate how difficult this was for you but it was very well done. I would love to see the complete video David. My boys have both been diagnosed in the spectrum and it always helps to hear from an older more articulate person what might be going on with them. Also, I am always looking for new ways to try to clarify or enlighten the extended family.

[djfmitv]

The complete video is now up in two parts if you would like to see it :)

[djfmitv]

They even still give either the "worst-case" scenareo or no diagnosis at all, which is even more shocking.

Once again, thank you all so so much for your repiles worldwide :)

[christschool]

Excellent video. I don't enjoy speaking publicly. The medical profession has really let autistic people down.

[stringthe0ry]

im from worcester!

[djfmitv]

Hello from Hereford :)

[moltres234]

i have aspergers and im also female

[lucasfultz]

took forever for aspergers individuals to get on utube but good job, hopefully you'll start a trend.

[djfmitv]

A year on and I think you're right

Well said :)

[QPRbrad]

Hey, I'm pretty sure I've got asperger's myself but I've never really looked at my situation as if it were some sort of disorder, and yet no one's mentioned it to me yet. I'm glad there are plenty of others like me though. I need to talk to someone about it.

[djfmitv]

Thank you both for those comments and yes it did take alot of guts for me to stand there and present, but I really enjoyed it :)

In answer to your question JudsonP, I'm 20 at the moment. I'd be more than happy to message you if you would like to talk to me further...

[Rachadd]

Many Thanks for posting this. I'm all for raising the much needed awareness of ASD's. Well done also for giving the speach, it's not easy to do - Again Many Thanks

[JudsonP]

I have Asperger's Syndrome. You can post the rest of the video. How old are you by the way?

[djfmitv]

In answer to your question JudsonP, I'm 21 at the moment. I'd be more than happy to message you if you would like to talk to me further..